Latest / The Favourite Self Podcast / 22. Jen Leigh on Becoming Iconic, Holding Success, and Building a Legacy Brand

Transcript

22. Jen Leigh on Becoming Iconic, Holding Success, and Building a Legacy Brand · The Favourite Self Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Lesson I want people to hear is you can stay because it's comfortable.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can stay because you feel obligated.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, life is about seizing opportunity.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Life is about relishing and joy and fulfillment and discovering who we are and what we're made of.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have to live on the skinny branch in order to experience that.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not an easy place to live because it's wobbly and it's uncertain.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: But it is where I have the most adventure and fulfillment and fun and exploration in my life.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't desire to be, you know, grounded all the time.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I desire to be on that skinny branch a little wobbly because I know I'm doing big, beautiful things.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Favorite Self Podcast.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self, my favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: What lights your favorite self on fire?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Carly Hadaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: This is your invitation to come back to yourself.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dig in.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: In today's episode, I am joined by Jen of Becoming Iconic, a business mentor, brand builder, speaker, podcast host, and the visionary behind Iconic magazine.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation felt like a full circle, super expansive one.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about the identity shift behind building a brand that becomes more than a business, the courage that it takes to follow the pull when your soul is asking for more, and what it really means to be seen, heard, and remembered.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Jen shares so openly about moving through debt, redefining success, making big investments in yourself, building a world-class personal brand, trusting your audience, as well as getting into motherhood, legacy, and the difference between performing a brand and truly becoming one.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: This episode is for the woman who is standing at the edge of her next evolution and knows she's more has more available to her.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Even if she's still learning how to trust that bridge between who she has been and who she is becoming.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's a conversation that I didn't even realize how much I needed.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I know it's going to really resonate and empower you too.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait for you to hear it.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: All right, we have a truly iconic guest for you today, someone who is a major expander for me, personally and professionally, and I know also for so many women in my community.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: We met just over a year ago.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was reflecting on this last summer at one of your beautiful events, and I immediately felt your magnetism.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And just being in the room with you, and I've been able to admire the brand that you've built and the energy that you show up with.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I cannot wait to dive into all of it today.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Jen.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited you're here.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: My cheeks hurt already.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Carly.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that feeling is very mutual.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you when you meet certain people in rooms and you just know that there's something more and that you're meant to be in each other's worlds, whatever that looks like.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: It can look different for each person, but I definitely have that same attraction to you.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I really appreciate you putting on this podcast and sharing your voice.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's important.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that feedback from you so much.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you are such a powerful mirror.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've said that to you before.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And you're especially someone that I admire so much because really I love how both of our work exists at this like intersection of business and identity and visibility and legacy.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: We got to be on a legacy panel together at High Vibe Women.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And you have built the becoming iconic brand, iconic magazine, the iconic podcast in this whole world where it's really for women who are ready to be seen, ready to be heard and remembered.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they don't feel ready yet either.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get into that.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I just really can't wait to talk about your own shift in that too, and really what it takes to become the woman who can hold this next level of success.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to start with your story.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you have shared, I think, such a powerful transformation story about going from being, I mean, you're still a mama for, but being a mama for 100K in debt to having this brand, this business that is hitting 100K months and talk about massive transformation.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I would love if we could start right there.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dig right in and talk about that identity shift.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like what did you go through when you reflect back on who that woman was and who you are today?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: What do you see?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So getting myself into a 100K debt is an important part of the story.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't share that very often when I feel called to.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The 100K in debt came from not being irresponsible with my money in terms of needing to have fancy things to show, um, show off, or because that was how I was spending my money, but I was overspending in a level of proof and validation of my success.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So let me explain.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I was at the time making anywhere my low month would have been around 20K, my high months were around 40.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: It would waver in between that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like a big difference, but when you're reaching multiple, you know, five-figure months, it's actually not that big of a fluctuation.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I was really in this steady state looking back.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I had celebrated it more, but all I wanted was a million-dollar business.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it felt like not enough, not enough, not enough.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Simultaneously, I was being brought up in a world where social media was new and we had to show our success.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I was buying lavish gifts for people.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was overspending where when I was around people, I would pay for everybody's drinks.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: There was a couple things that came through for that.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is wanting to show success.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So not just being embodied in that, but feeling like I needed to do things to showcase that we see it very loud now on the internet.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's really loud.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Money marketing and that whole thing.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And simultaneously also being very uncomfortable around money.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when I was receiving that money in my bank, I would spend it as fast as I got it because I didn't know how to sit with it and hold it and be with it and steward it.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I got myself into this debt of being irresponsible in a way because I didn't understand the responsibility of it, but not, you know, with private jets and doing things that were selfish.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was really more about wanting to grow a business and it just knowing, like, okay, I have to show people through acts of generosity that I'm very successful.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where I was.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I was dying on the treadmill.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: It had been about a decade of hitting those 20 to 40k months.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine that I wouldn't celebrate that.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like I look back at that and just want to hug her because most people would give their right arm to have that type of stability legacy in their business.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't see that.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: All I could see was that I wasn't making enough, that it wasn't enough.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was when I decided to make a pivot, a career pivot that made no sense because I was successful on paper.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: But in my soul and my spirit, I just wanted to have bigger, broader conversation.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I was met with a lot of adversity.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: People did not like it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't like it because they had put me on this pedestal of she's the one that mentors you for a health and wellness business, a beauty brand.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was very much known in that sphere.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So to say, no, I want to talk to more women, the women that had pedestaled me and didn't like that because they thought I was it.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you reach this level of success, you've reached the summit, I was saying to them, actually, there's more.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that was really triggering to people who hadn't thought beyond their goal, their current goal.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: So when I made that pivot, it was bold, Carly.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a whole dramatic story around that.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: But when I made the pivot, that was when I feel like this portal of life opened for me.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the portal was of absolute abundance.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's just really been no looking back ever since.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was like the doors open.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the lesson in that is, you know, sometimes we think success is going to look a certain way.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we almost beat the dead horse.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're just forcing something because whether it's a title, a career, a bland we've built, it's like this was supposed to be it.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And suddenly when we think there might be something else, there's an identity shift for sure.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're letting go of something that once was the epitome of all of your dreams to move over to something else.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's definitely that bridge or that that threshold and identity.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other side is this newfound identity that if you give yourself the permission to explore and adventure and trial, I really believe that where a woman comes alive.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to hear that so much myself.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I actually just took a big exhale as you were sharing that.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I got emotional because I I can like completely see myself in your story.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like the timing of this, we were just talking about how we had to reschedule a couple times because we both got sick, and that today was the day that it was meant to, and I'm like, this is what I need, needed to hear today.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that part about podcasting.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I really love how you bring up the overspending and how, especially at that time, it was about, you know, kind of like showing that proof online.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I think there's also a lot of pref pressure to show that proof to yourself.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm always so curious about that because I find that I struggle with that when it comes to my own investing and spending, where I'm like, okay, how am I actually, you know, showing myself that I believe in myself, I am worth this investment.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, I find it's more that right now that I'm that I'm juggling is like, but being also smart and and knowing that this is my livelihood with that I'm in business with my partner that provides for our kids and having, you know, to walk that line of okay, when I'm investing in myself, because I believe in myself, I believe in what I'm creating.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And also when it's when where I draw the line with that and be like, okay, but is this how much I should be spending, you know, based on our family needs too?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm so I wasn't even gonna get into the money talk necessarily, but I'm curious if you have anything to share on that too.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love investing in myself.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm radical about that.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have no shame, no apologies necessary.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: I will go out on the skinny branch.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have made big investments, and not all of them felt great.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not all of them were what I thought they were going to be.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what those every single investment, whether good or in some way disappointing, they have always been great teachers.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have always moved forward and I've always become a better version of myself.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: So what that taught me is I'm a sure bet.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I am a hundred percent guaranteed.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to know that if I'm investing in a mentor, there's a guaranteed ROI.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to know that from her.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the guaranteed ROI.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So she's either going to be a great facilitator in helping me move the needle forward and giving me like really great ideas, strategies, mentorship, or she's going to be a great teacher in the things that I don't want to do, the way I don't want to treat people, you know, the promises that are underdelivered.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like she'll set my standards higher.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, regardless of what happens in that room, it I take all of the responsibility away from that mentor and I put it all on myself.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's radical and that's scary.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I understand that for people listening in.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But what I've learned is the ROI is inevitable.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have never invested, ever, even my most disappointing ones, and let and thought, I wish I hadn't done that.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I've sometimes wished the situation experience were different.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: I sometimes wish I had been more discerning in who I was hiring and the things that I invested in, sure.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: But again, those were great teachers.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I wish women would be a little bit more radical in their investment.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I love to spend money on beautiful travel.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's one of the luxuries in my life I I love to do, but that's a nice to have.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like a lot of founders, female founders, will happily invest in their nice to have, but then negotiate and, you know, pull themselves back, retreat from the must-haves.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: You must invest to grow a business.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: You were never meant to do this on your own.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be lonely.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can have huge success.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: You will have huge success if you invest.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's never about how much money am I making?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: How much can I afford?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's always what is this next level for me?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: What does that feel like?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: What is the potentiality of that?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is it 100K months?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is it once I get my signature offer like honed in, narrowed in?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I want to scale that.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's my legacy.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: What's like the possibility within that is so big.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: How can we look at something that's 50K investment, even 100K investment, and go, oh, I don't know if I should.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, if you're building a legacy, this is a small micro investment in comparison to the financial reward that is available to you in years to come.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still learning from mentors years ago, things that they said to me, things that I, you know, had never considered.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the investments, I'm still getting an ROI.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just the best thing.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So to encourage you, Carly, or anybody listening in, I wish women would just stop worrying so much or feeling like I'm taking from my family or this is irresponsible in some way.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: It actually is responsible for you to put the skin in the game if you actually mean it.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's who you are behind the investment that makes the world a difference.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna do it and then wake up in the middle of the night and apologize to your husband, feel like you're taking from your family and make this whole thing a drama, it's not gonna be a great investment.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you make that investment and you look at your husband in his eyes and say, I know this is scary.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know I'm asking a lot, I know that this is bigger than what we've ever done before, but I need your belief in me, your trust.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna make this the best investment of our lives.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have it backing.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't, it's not gonna matter so much because you have that personal belief and trust in who you are.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: You will make that investment right, even if it's really, really scary.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I still make really, really scary investments.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that so much.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I love the distinction between the must have and the nice to have, first of all, and remembering that they're both, yeah, they're different in terms of what they're giving back to you and in that belief in in yourself.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I love thinking about the ROI as, you know, remembering that it's not just the financial metric or the return in like necessarily business growth.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's the growth in so many different ways that comes back to you and that it continues to come back to you for years to come.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's talk about that pivot because I'd like to dive into that a little bit and really like when you look back at the evolution of becoming iconic and take us back to, you know, when that started and when you really stepped into that brand.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when did you know that this was no longer just a business, but a whole world that you were building?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: That was an evolution.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when I started becoming iconic and made the pivot, it was pretty radical.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's important pieces here for anybody considering a pivot right now.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to burn down what is in order to pivot.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I did not burn it down.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, I still have residual income from a lot of the work that I did.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: So there was no burning something down in order to pivot.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's a misconception there that we have to like deny that side of us.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we do.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it is an unhealthy, toxic environment, and we really need to slam the door shut in order to have the space and room to move forward.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: But most of the time, you can straddle two worlds.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I love doing this.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love teaching this to women who have careers and want to start an entrepreneurial journey.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you do not have to quit your job in order to do this.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Straddle the two worlds.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're likely gonna have more busy, if you want to call it that, on your calendar.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have more distractions.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: So because now you're working full-time and building something on the side and you've got kids at home.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're asking more of yourself, but this is leadership.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna hold that?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna hold more?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I love to teach women that you don't have to burn things down.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: You might have to straddle for a little bit, but it's the best chiseling on leadership because you're honoring what was and letting that fuel that next piece, that next journey of where you're going.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't burn it down.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: I did have um a very severe physical manifestation.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I was denying this.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew I was meant for more.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I didn't want to talk to women around health and wellness anymore.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't align with a lot of the teachings.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: This was coming into a lot of like body acceptance, liberation around our bodies, that whole movement.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was still talking to them about, you know, elimination diets and going to the gym and like it just, it just felt a little bit archaic.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I thought I can't have this discussion, but I was continuing to have it because I felt guilt because there were so many women that I was mentoring in the wellness space, and I told them like how to build.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought, am I hurting them if I say there's more?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: I really carried a lot of guilt.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I finally had this um physical, not finally, I had this physical manifestation where I started as a hemorrhage and it was quite severe.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I it was a big hemorrhage.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was in the hospital for a long time, lots of blood infusions, they couldn't stop it.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I tell this story because it's so magical.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was lying in bed, I had pressure things on my legs because I literally couldn't stand up, I would lose too much blood.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, this woman walks in.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, hi, I can't remember her name.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: She was in a white jacket.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, I'm so-and-so.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an OBGYN.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: My mom was with me.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: She saw her, so there's a witness to this.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, I don't think any of things that's like what's going on here is physical.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like this is a spiritual thing.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what in your life are you suppressing?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: What in your life are you not moving into that your body is literally, you know, shedding and trying to get your attention with?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: And she walked out the door.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now I literally, I never saw her again.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like she was an earth angel.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, to have someone in a white jacket say something spiritual like that is very rare.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: Normally it's like, you know, this happened, that happened, blah, blah, blah.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And she was the catalyst to me making the pivot because I couldn't help but stare down this like face in the mirror that was wanting more, but neglecting that desire because of all these attachments.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so after that, I decided to start becoming iconic where I thought I want to talk to women on a bigger level, like with a bigger conversation.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: And literally, Carly, after making that decision, I hired a mentor, I couldn't afford her.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I hired a team member, I couldn't afford her.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: And six weeks later, I had a hundred thousand dollar launch.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had been dying on the treadmill for 10 years to hit 80K because 80K is a million-dollar business.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wanted to hit those 80K months and I surpassed that hit 100k and I've never looked back.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been this constant momentum forward ever since.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I say that with humility because the lesson in this is not about the money.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: The lesson in this is about following your path, following your intuition, honoring the ebbs and flows of life, honoring those, the newness of who we're becoming, hence becoming iconic.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's the lesson I want people to hear is you can stay because it's comfortable.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can stay because you feel obligated.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, life is about seizing opportunity.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Life is about relishing and joy and fulfillment and discovering who we are and what we're made of.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have to live on the skinny branch in order to experience that.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not an easy place to live because it's wobbly and it's uncertain, but it is where I have the most adventure and fulfillment and fun and exploration in my life.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't desire to be, you know, grounded all the time.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: I desire to be on that skinny branch a little wobbly because I know I'm doing big, beautiful things.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're speaking right to my Aries heart with that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: I know I've tried to pull you into the astrology, but the skinny branch, oh my gosh, that's like totally favorite self-energy.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I feel that the adventure, the spontaneity, the risk that you know, like you really are putting it all out there.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: So powerful.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: I know that that story is gonna be helpful for so many, including me.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're all in this very transitional time.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: So we can completely relate to the internal pull and that comes with the external pull, right?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was you felt the internal pull and whisper.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then there was also this cultural shift around your services and what you were offering that was changing.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's scary to be in that place and not know where you're going.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of people can really.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: that in you know this age of AI and and just so much change is happening.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: I uh so appreciate like just how how you've shared that it's so real and raw and I I know it will really be impactful.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I I'd love to dive in a little bit deeper to the that shedding especially because you're having this physical reaction to this spiritual journey.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Again like that's something that's come up a lot on this podcast too.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what do you think really was needing to be released for you in order to become the woman who was leading the iteration of where the brand was going next.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: I feel I led most of my life giving my palate over to others.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a huge journey for me and and continues to be.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I can see it slip.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can see myself go back into past behaviors.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I cared more most of my life about you accepting me, liking me, me being acceptable than being the truest essence expression of myself.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: That felt very scary to me probably one of my biggest fears in life and even around success.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've never feared failure I don't have that in my body.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: People ask me how I don't know how I just don't have that.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: I never have but I have definitely feared success.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feared success of what will people think you know um more people more problem more people more opinions like I just always wanted to play safe and probably a lot of my upbringing um especially as a teenager I had a lot of sisterhood wounds a lot of um girls especially who I danced for to gain their approval so looking back that's where that's what was happening it was this iteration of I care more about what these people think of me I care more about making sure I'm making them happy than following my truths and trusting I had to learn to trust not just myself but trust my audience that's a huge thing even in selling and marketing trusting the people that are in your community to get excited for you, to love the new iteration, to celebrate this new identity, to trust them to understand the road we're in the path we're going on.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: That has really worked that magnetism you shared, I feel like a lot of that comes from my deep trust in people.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not writing captions or newsletters or subsects to make sure you understand I'm writing them from the like the pores, the marrow of my bones and trusting it's gonna land for someone and that has been a huge movement.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: So going from this place of giving over my power not trusting people especially women to stepping now over into radical trust, into self-expression into if I never do this I'm never gonna know and that felt like that was an agitation in my spirit and that that was an evolution that didn't happen overnight.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I feel like the world we live in everything has to happen so fast.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't we think we're failing we're behind something's wrong I'm not aligned like we use that language and it's like no it just takes a minute just takes a minute.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine if I had quit year eight because I was so frustrated I hadn't hit a million dollars like imagine I think of that all the time and it was tempting sometimes I was like I think it's easier just to go get a job and a paycheck and know how much I'm making every month and drive to to work and just kind of go into that back into that scenario.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'd think that I would fantasize but truthfully I'm unemployable at this point.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: But what I had to really celebrate myself is this tenacity and stick to itness because it took just over 10 years to reach that mark.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: People want to reach a million dollar business in 10 days right now they're so impatient.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: You have to become a woman who can hold it you have to become a woman who can sustain that getting there is one thing keeping it is a whole other can of worm and nobody understands that because we're rushing things so much.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: We're rushing even going back to the the discussion around money we're rushing the lifestyle we're not earning the lifestyle we're rushing the lifestyle similar to what I was doing with the money right spending to kind of like prove I'm successful.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: I see it all the time women are living outside of their means, going places spending money on pieces in their wardrobe that maybe it they're just not there yet.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: So earn it.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Spend the money on the business to get to a place where your lifestyle is so delicious, so beautiful, so abundant that it's not a matter of like oh my gosh I spent this so I can't stun this.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like I desire this and it it becomes so joyful.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: So then it kind of went in lots of different directions there but to tie it in it's time it's trust it's willingness and it's the ability to allow this to constantly evolve.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think of like stacking bricks all the time just put one brick on top of the other that's my only job and if I keep doing that eventually I'll have a huge empire.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: So permission giving I love that distinction too between really like the power of earning it because you think of the things that you've known that you've earned in your life and you know that have taken hard work to earn them and how rewarding and fulfilling and how much joy that brings you.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's so powerful.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And yes you hear about these overnight success stories and I think you know often it's like okay but this took the 10 year the decade long to get to this overnight success.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: Or it's the one that is like the lottery winning kind of experience that they can't hold.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like how many times do we hear those stories about people winning the lottery and they end up just going into massive debt because they could never they didn't ever go through the identity shift to be able to hold that amount.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: So powerful I literally like could feel that in my body as you were sharing that.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: I am briefly interrupting this episode to personally invite you to something that I have been dreaming about for a very long time.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: The favorite self-retreat is happening on October 1st at the beautiful Wisdom Gardens Retreat Center in East Gillenbury.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is a full day for the woman who can feel a new chapter calling her the woman who is ready to reconnect with her deepest desires, trust the vision she has for her life and step forward with the confidence to create something even bigger than she has allowed herself to imagine.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Together we'll create space to release the stories, patterns and beliefs that no longer belong in your next chapter.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: But this day is about so much more than what you're leaving behind.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's about remembering who you are, reclaiming the gifts, dreams and desires that have always been within you and becoming the version of yourself who feels safe, worthy and fully capable of bringing her wildest dreams to life.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be guided through breath work, subconscious rewiring, reflection, meaningful conversation and powerful exercises designed to help you clarify what you truly want and confidently step into what's next.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't about becoming someone else.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's about coming home to the most powerful expressed and fully alive version of you and giving yourself permission to dream bigger.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: If you know you're ready for your next chapter, I would love to have you in the room.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Spaces are limited and spots are already being claimed.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: You can learn more and reserve yours through the link in the show notes.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait to meet the version of you who emerges now back to the episode.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: I really also love how you talk about trusting your audience because I think that's I I'd love to jump into more of the visibility conversation and I think that's a huge part we know that's a huge part of what holds people back from showing up and being seen is this fear of being judged and criticized or or maybe fear of people seeing you failing or maybe fear of people seeing you succeed and just like really trusting that when you are in your truth you attract the community that wants to support you, that's cheering you on, that loves to see you win you know why do we assume the worst of our community?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Why do we assume that they're going to judge us and so I think that flip is so powerful.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I would just love to hear from your perspective like what do you think that most women misunderstand about visibility and what does it really take to be seen and heard and remembered visibility we think visibility is the cure.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm more visible, I'm gonna become more successful.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And as someone who lost her social media and hit her first million in six months though that was the shortest window of time that I had created that type of revenue and I had less than a thousand followers I'm thoroughly mad on its head.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I did not have a ton of visibility now I I will say I was on a lot of podcasts I was generating visibility but I didn't have visibility at that moment.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I share that story because I think it's really really important.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think we think because we don't have enough followers there's a certain number or certain threshold we have to cross in order to have big giant success.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say well if you cannot have giant success with a hundred people what makes you think you're gonna have giant success with a hundred thousand people like it's it's just again more visibility doesn't make things easier.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: More visibility demands more of ourselves and showing up and there's responsibility in that so I think that's the first thing is like just what do you want visibility for?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like really looking at that.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: What is the reason behind this?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: And often especially the clients I work with it is that success metric, right?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just want more visibility because I want to hit$10,000 a month,$50 months,$100,000 a month.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: I work with people all over the spectrum.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like there's this place they want to get to they think it just is going to require more people to get there.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time it's actually not more people most of the time it's a refinement within their personal brand that is required so that it is honoring the audience that already is there.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time when we refine, we don't even need to think about visibility because we already have enough people available within the network community audience that they just needed to better understand like what do you stand for?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: What is it?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're talking about all these things and you're confusing me and a confused mind says no.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's positioning it's messaging it's signature offers it's really building a customer experience building a website having a brand done like I can't fathom people not doing this.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like and and I understand there was a message you know in especially 2020 to like 2023 where people like we were we got to be a millionaire with none of that stuff.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well that's great for you but talk to me in a couple more years because that's all going to come crumbling down.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: You have nothing to support that type of growth build the foundation build the infrastructure then ask for visibility because what happens is it takes away the vanity metric and it now becomes something that converts.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: You now have a business that whether one person or a hundred people come in, they have a place to sit.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: They can take a seat at your cable they understand it.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: They want to explore a lot of my sales don't require me to be in the DMs or get on sales calls because I've built an ecosystem because it's very clear when you land on my brand like oh shoot this girl knows how to build a personal brand.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: I can see it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel it but I'm also learning through her messaging that's what I would love people to better understand around visibility.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are you actually prepared for it?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because it can be premature.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen it through my my magazine where a lot of people have come in, but not a lot.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's not true.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: A few people have come in and really pressed us to come into the magazine and I'm never going to say no to someone.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: If this is what you really, really want, we'll do it.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I have been honest with them and said this is a massive visibility opportunity and I do think there's a little bit of homework and cleanup and tidy up that needs to be done so that when you have this, you leverage it and it's actually an exceptional experience.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are very open to that other people just want that visibility want to be able to say I was in a magazine and you see the the repercussions of that you see that on the other side they literally just do one post and that's it.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the so visibility from a vanity metric perspective and is your business ready.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then also when we have visibility what can happen is if we have not done personal growth and development, we're actually hoping that our audience is going to make the momentum like I'm gonna say I was on a podcast and they're gonna go listen and they're gonna go share and they're gonna applaud me and they're gonna celebrate me.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's none of their business.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's not their job.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like asking your business to prove to you it's gonna work you've got to be the proof you've got to be the leader.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so visibility for the sake of being patted on the back and applauded is also not a clear crystal clear energy or intention.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: So visibility is powerful and it absolutely needs to be at the top of the priority list.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: But there is really fundamental things that have to happen first within the brand so that it it means more than just simply a follower that you know you'd get lost in the algorithm because they followed you and 10 seconds later they're looking at something else and then they never see you again.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: What does that even mean?
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I I really challenge women to be very conscientious and pay attention to the why.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you want visibility right now?
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: What is that going to mean to you are you prepared and if we can check off yes yes yes let's go and if there's some things that need to be tidied up let's do it and then let's go and and generate the visibility.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Visibility is not not very difficult.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: We have the internet it's it's just a matter of strategy.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: But um I do think it it matters how you've prepared poet.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yes I I couldn't agree more and I think I love the foundation piece and how you share that and you know it's it's like putting yourself out there to get the visibility when you have nowhere for them to land.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean to bring in I that's really the mission behind web of words is like having them land in your web and like stick in your web and stick around and be part of your your brand ecosystem that you've created.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then I I think you know it's it's the difference between the external visibility really is the external piece and then the internal like okay you can be seen by others but do you truly see yourself?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have clarity around your message?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have that foundation built that shows that you are truly embodying the service or what the transformation that you're providing I I love it.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: So beautiful and so important and I think it's something that gets missed more often than not actually.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: Since releasing my book Coming Home one of the things I've heard again and again is that it feels like a mirror.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Women have told me it felt like having a late night conversation with a friend that it really helped them see their own courage, their own heartbreaks their own hopes and the parts of themselves still waiting for permission.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly that's exactly why I wrote it.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Coming home is for the woman who is building a business, a family a life a dream and looking to do it in a way that actually feels true to who she is.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's a book about healing storytelling motherhood ambition identity and the courage to build your own path when the one in front of you doesn't quite fit.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've been craving a reminder that you are allowed to want more become more and still come home to yourself in the process I think you would love coming home.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: You can grab your copy through the link in the show notes.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: I I'd love to get into one thing that I love about you and I've always shared this is just like you also you understand that a brand is so much more than aesthetics but you also have the most beautiful brand and you show up in and I know that it's true to you too in this like very polished way.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm always like so excited to see what you're wearing and and you know that that's all part of the brand that you're embodying.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to talk about you know what you see because sometimes I had this conversation with you before how like that for me I get I get kind of like pulled into my old patterns and perfectionism and I know that's where I can be held back.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: And if I get if I start comparing you know my brand to your brand I can completely be like, oh no, this isn't polished enough.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't perfect enough.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: But when that's not true to me.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd love to talk about that a little bit and just the distinction between for your own truth how you know when something is coming from a place of performing a brand that's not actually true to you and actually becoming the brand.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's a beautiful way of describing it.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think you just hit the nail on the head it's performing versus being it's why I started House of Her.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: I really wanted to talk to the woman behind the brand.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed I mean and they're equal parts it's it's it can feel a little bit confusing I think because it's what in one side of my mouth I'm saying you've got to really hone in your message.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be able to articulate yourself really well and the graphics and the aesthetic matter.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm saying that simultaneously I'm saying who are you?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do you love?
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: Be yourself and so that can feel sort of counterintuitive because we think the aesthetic needs to look a certain way and we're not we're neglecting who we are and who we're becoming or we're spending so much time in this like healing becoming part that we're not paying attention to the aesthetic.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: I can see this the pendulum swing.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I really want to focus in like I'm very committed to that right now and focus in on women being all of that.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I say full expression a lot right now it's coming out of my my body and my spirit a lot because that to me is what makes a woman alive.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's what makes a personal brand alive.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: But to answer a question around aesthetic it's interesting Carly because I will admit I think my aesthetic is iconic.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think it's top shelf I I believe it to be world class.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's really nothing we do that isn't to a standard of excellence.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: But that also comes with some not easy parts either there's pros and cons to everything.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens in my brand is because it looks so good, it can feel a little unattainable.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel a little bit mysterious to people there's not like there's not that instant warm connection and I'm this warm gushy like when you know me you're like oh my gosh Jen is like not necessarily what my brand breathes but it is my truth.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's interesting because I think sometimes to look at my brand and think it has to look that way.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is my way I am the same person off screen as I am on screen.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: You could come right now I've got a pair of heels on I've got my like I that's just who I am that I'm not pretending I'm not performing and I love things to be tidy.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love sophistication I love elegance I love luxury I love beauty I love sensory.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so my brand gets to be that expression so there's pros and cons.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'd rather waiver on this side my side than what I'm also seeing is very scrappy branding.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_00: So what asking people to invest or saying hey I've got a mastermind and it's$5,000 I'm picking numbers as a sky if you're asking women to invest$5,000 into you but you're not willing to invest that money into you to make sure that your graphics are on par, to make sure that you have the mentorship to hone your skills like you're asking people to invest in you but you're not investing in you it feels to me a little bit out of integrity if I'm going to be honest.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: So integrity to me in a brand is I am doing the best I can with what I have it's always growing it's always evolving.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm paying attention to who I am and I'm going to only ask somebody to invest in me would I be willing to invest in me now as well.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: So integrity comes through but I do think there could be like what you say this this feeling of perfection I'd love to exchange that like Carly exchange it for standards of excellence because perfection well I don't think there's anything really even that wrong with it unless it's holding you back, unless you're waiting to be ready then that's that's different.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think a standard of excellence is a really great way to live your life that you really notice detail and you want to do things in a really great way I just put on a masterclass and the amount of feedback I got that this is free.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like you had a sales page it had its own brand like you did these emails the way you showed up the way you followed up like if that was free.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I said because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope I answered your question but I I I do feel there's this parallel or this duality that needs to be paid attention to and it's not easy but it's worthwhile.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is who am I?
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I becoming how am I living when nobody's watching simultaneously is my brand reflective of my experience, the caliber of leadership that I hold the offers that I'm offering the type of client I'm calling in so both of those things matter equal parts, not one more than the other.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I think that's so important and it's making me think about how you know we tend to get the this very like bold controversial advice that that tells us it's one side of the spectrum or the other when it's usually the middle it's just that that type of content as we know the controversial content tends to perform better but it doing a real disservice for if people are you know looking to their Instagram feed for coaching.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: It just goes to show you that you really need to understand that it's not usually a one or the other.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's how can you find your middle ground that works really well for you.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I agree like I do think exactly my my old kind of perfectionist patterns absolutely have created this quality, the standard of excellence.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I catch myself because I have the awareness now where I know when I start to overthink or I start to compare and I, you know, and so I have that discernment to know like, okay, no, I'm swinging too far to this side now.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: And and it's like, because you get that you get that advice of like take the messy action, take the leap before you're ready.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: But then okay, then we have these coaches or or service providers creating programs or launching services that haven't been actually fully developed, haven't been thought through, are that's what, you know, what where so many people got burned in these industries.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: We I hear it again and again of of working with this other company that unfortunately then makes them so skeptical of the next person, understandably, and it creates a whole other problem, right?
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that discernment in in the advice that you're getting and finding the path that feels good for you and knowing that it's going to be unique to you is so important.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is and it's the charm it's the charm.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I look at your brand Carly it screams Carly to me because the charm is I feel you.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: I it looks like you there's an aesthetic to it that I know and I'm scrolling I'm like there's Carly that's a personal brand that's brand identity that is chef's kiss.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you want.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't look like mine but nor should it I think we got really talk about messy action.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I I remember this moment where I could literally tell who someone's mentor was by their social media.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like there was this duplication happening that if I if I'm like her and I do things the way she's doing things, I'm gonna have that same success.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that is an ingredient for frustration and failure and a lack of authenticity and integrity because we're again performing and we're doing something that isn't ours.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine if everybody started copying Amazon and there was all these Amazon dupes out there.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: We it's just like it's it's like it's it's cheap.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: Instead be inspired by someone's brand be inspired by my brand.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: I would be inspired by my brand I'll own that I have a huge team and I have people that are doing this with me.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not alone it's you know I built something really special.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: Be inspired but take that inspiration and let it be infused with your own gifts, talents, words, taste and then bring it to life and then you'll have something that was inspired by but not a duplicate copycat because as someone again who puts a lot of time consideration effort team into what I do, there couldn't be a bigger insult than when somebody copies because it's like it's it's cheap, but I have a whole thing around that like I would never buy a dupe of anything because I just think it's just someone worked really hard to build that brand, that product, that recognition so I would never dare take from that if like I've always had the thing and I went to school for fashion.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: If I can't afford the thing, I don't have the thing um because I appreciate what they have built so much that I wouldn't dare go, you know, buy from something that's a dupe.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: I just I've always wanted the real thing.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that actually leads into what you were saying is you know hiring your mentors if you are buying based on budget, like if you're hiring a mentor because she's cheaper what in the world are you saying?
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: What in the world are you saying?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you really want to work with this mentor but this one over here was cheaper so you went with that you get what you pay for.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not saying that that one that is less expensive is necessarily not good, but you really wanted this thing over here.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just meant you had to stretch a little bit more but that stretch is what opens up doors.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: That stretch is what allows people to stretch into you.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to go first.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so you know just to heal that that conversation around the coaching industry there was a lot of people with dollar signs in their eyeballs.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was sad.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was unfortunate it happened but the benefit again kind of going all the way back to the ending of our conversation we all learned from that they were great teachers.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: What I won't tolerate what I will tolerate red flags, discernment, um, asking the right questions, you know, really spending time with a mentor before you hire them, though asking for testimonials.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: We got smarter in our buying behavior.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: It was sad we had to go through it that way, but we did.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: It happened.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: We can't make that wrong because something great came out of it on the other side.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's so true and such an important perspective and I think of that actually when I think of before I started my own business, you know, the bosses that I worked for and how much I learned from having these not great bosses and how much that actually taught me probably even more in my leadership than the opposite.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: So it can't not that you need to go through the negative experience, but just remembering that there's still so much power in and learning in those and coming to the dupe conversation, you know, it's it's the energy of it too, right?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: So people feel that when they feel like this is a replicate of some of someone else or someone else's formula and and that the magnetism comes when you are so clear in your own truth and can show up in that way.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you know it's a practice it's a muscle to build to have that clarity for yourself first of all and then and even when it doesn't feel like crystal clear because I know that can get people stuck a lot too it might be a little bit foggy and then and then it's like experimenting and letting yourself play with it and letting yourself continue to refine it in your own way versus just taking someone else's template and you know taking the shortcut.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it kind of comes to the earning back to that earning conversation as well like wouldn't you much rather know that your community's here for you than for this version of you that's actually just a a mock up of your mentor that you know yeah yeah and how much effort like it's exhausting trying to be something we're not it is it's I am not tired when I'm being who I am like right now with you currently I could talk to you all day today because I'm not performing I'm not trying to say this super intelligent seeing or what did so and so say and how can I bring that forward and pretend it's mine.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's two women in their power coming together dialoguing in their own unique essence and that's the brilliance like that that to me is a woman unstoppable.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot stop like success is inevitable.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you I guarantee it I'll put my stamp of guarantee okay it is inevitable the more you represent who you are celebrate your talents celebrate your differentiators polish and soften the edges okay so like the edges don't really belong in a personal brand in my opinion get really skilled at the things you're really good at hire people for the things you're not good at and go for it.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: Go for it.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_00: When you said messy action I think that's misunderstood that we're just supposed to do things and hope it works out.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: Messy action might be right now you got to spend a lot of time in messy action of figuring out how to articulate yourself better.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's the messy action.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_00: Messy action right now might be okay you know what I've been playing around in Canva and these graphics are lackluster like mundane at best.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not good at this my messy action is finding somebody to help me with this even though that feels uncomfortable and I haven't even made any money so I'm spending money before I've made it and all this stuff that had that's the messy action.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_00: Messy action you have to understand doesn't necessarily mean one thing it's doing the right thing before you're ready and allowing that to be that momentum forward.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a really important message in this conversation today too.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love that thank you for that I'd love to pivot a little bit into motherhood and actually for me I feel motherhood was such a pivotal moment for me in truly stepping into my authenticity because I mean it just really took away everything took away I I didn't have energy to perform at all.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just realized in that moment in motherhood that was that moment for me where I'm like it's so much easier to just be myself and stay true to me because I don't have the energy to pretend that my situation looks different right now.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show up as I am and I feel like there was the combination of that for me with COVID because I would had babies in COVID times and I think everyone was kind of going through that where suddenly we're like, okay, we don't have to pretend that the world isn't on fire right now and that we're all finding our own way through this.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: We get to actually be real in this and share our stories and you know build unity in that.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so curious for you because you know your kids are a little bit older now and I always love looking to mothers in other seasons ahead of me.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_00: How would you say that motherhood has really shaped the way that you build and lead and define the legacy thanks for saying that because I felt this intuitively for the last little while as a lot of women founders are teaching motherhood, but they're still in the midst of toddlers and they're still in the midst of learning motherhood and entrepreneurship simultaneously, which is fabulous and I love it.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's the best life you could build for you and your family.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I I am so happy when um I see women choose both.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just I celebrate it big time.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_00: But there's also a level of wisdom maturity experience that comes through when you've done this for 20 years building businesses and babies.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've literally birthed babies, nursed babies, temper tantrums on my legs, kids going to school, sports, university, deciding what they want to do with their lives like there's just I've just lived this life for so long I don't know any different.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_00: But what I can say is they have been my greatest accountability partners.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_00: The times I wanted to quit and there were plenty of times I wanted to quit, I knew I couldn't because they were watching and I've been the solo income owner for the last 15 years.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so their livelihood is dependent upon my business and my brand a lot of pressure in that a lot of responsibility in that don't know if I you know recommend but it's my lived experience.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so they are watching they're paying attention to me because they know and things dip a little bit how I behave and they're very good at being like don't worry mom we got this like they're so involved that I couldn't quit when times were down because I never wanted to teach my kids that when things got hard, you quit.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: I made a promise to myself and I had very young babies when I started entrepreneurship that I would never quit when I was down I would only allow myself to quit when I was up that was a like I literally signed a contract with myself and that was great because when I was down I would look at their spaces and think this is not the time Jen.
• 55:48
  SPEAKER_00: You have to show them how to muscle through you have to show them the character of tenacity, resilience, stick to itness, creativity, looking at things from a different perspective, asking for help, um, knowing that sometimes you have to scale back a little bit like those those were real moments in my journey and it has only benefited them.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is only benefited I I look at my adult I guess they're an adult it's weird to say but my adult children and they are so available to life they're so available to curiosity.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're so available to thinking outside of boxes it fascinates me.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe it's because they've been brought up in a home where I would they never sat for dinner and heard their mom talk about oh this person at work and gossip or talk I hate my job or debt traffic.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I they've never been exposed to that in my home.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's always been oh my gosh I gotta talk about this client or hey things aren't going great but I think I'm gonna do this thing and I'm gonna try this and I'm gonna explore this.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's been this abundant conversation doesn't mean there's always an abundance pouring in but looking at things through an abundant lens that I believe has generated the most incredible human beings.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_00: The culture they get through an entrepreneurial home is so, so, so important.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: They've experienced the world they've tried the finer things in life they have been able to follow their dreams they live in a life where it's like yeah we can make that happen.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see how we can do things and not spoiled but definitely privileged for sure.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm not sad about that or I don't apologize for that because they really have lived life according to the things that turned them on and get them excited and you know explore different facets that developed them into these amazing humans.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I still have two younger ones that are on on the precipice but it's been wonderful Carly but a lot of people use their children as their excuse why not a lot of them think oh I'm gonna take from them and I have to you know I'm not as pleasant you ask my younger two kids what I do they'll say my mom's a stay at home mom like she works from home.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's how my kid, my younger two kids describe me.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: That is far from what I do, right?
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_00: But what that tells me is they feel my presence I'm here if they're sick and need to be picked up at school I'll go.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: If they're sick and need me to rearrange my schedule I will if they like on Friday my daughter wants to you know take off and go with her friends to Wonderland can we do that?
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: I am so it's not that I'm present 247.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's not even healthy, but I have a presence 247 if that makes sense.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: So so beautiful and you know it reminds me of I'm I'm someone who very much believes in the power of words, but I'm constantly reminded through my kids that our words can only take us so far if we don't have the action behind them and just how we are truly showing them by living and embodying the message, you know, that's what really makes it resonate.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then you see it show up and like even my daughter was playing you know with her LOL dolls the one day and she's talking to them and and and she one's talking to the other and it's like my mom says that if I can do anything, if I believe in myself and I try my best and you know those moments that just catch you and it's like I know that that's something I say but I know it's actually that she sees me do it.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've had the amazing privilege that this last couple months especially of bringing her to some events and speaking engagements and like she's seen me face my fears and and stand on stage and do things that are uncomfortable.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you know that gives her the courage to then go out on the soccer field and and make new friends and and put it all out there.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I I really love and appreciate that and how you share the way that that continues to evolve and it's just so cool to continue to see how they surprise you in every season and yeah it's it's the best thing.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: The best thing is the best thing and congratulations Mana like think about what you're offering her and how could we ever wish for it to be different?
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like what are we actually wishing for?
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's like oh I don't want to take for my kids.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well your home building a business you can rearrange uptime freedom we get that as soon as we decide to be entrepreneurs or you can go to a job and as I'm not suggesting every job we need people to be in jobs and work and it makes the world function.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: But there are people that go to jobs that they just don't like that aren't fulfilling that drain their energy and their spirit is that what we want to show can show our kids I don't think so.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I just even bringing her and exposing her to rooms like what an incredible thing you're doing for her because it imprints upon them these messages and you can when she's playing with her doll you're seeing it in real time.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's no denying you've imprinted upon her that she can do anything she puts her mind to what an incredible way to grow up what a like a home to be immersed in where that's not everybody's day.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's not everybody's experience.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and the full circle that's the real ROI.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know like yes it's having the financial means to you know have the the our dream property that I love watching them play and run around and have this like 90s childhood vibe and spend literally our entire weekend outside.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's being able to pay for their competitive sports and that are feel like a whole other part-time job sometimes.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: But more than that it's the growth of of what it's teaching like what these this journey and investing in ourselves and entrepreneurship is continuously teaching us and how it continuously stretches us and then being able to be that mirror for them.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's I I'd love to then wrap on this just coming back to the favorite self.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think you probably knew I was going to ask you this and I think you you've uh mentioned it in many ways throughout this conversation but who is your favorite self Jen in this season and yeah how does she show up?
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: How does she feel and what's most important to her?
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: What does she prioritize?
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_00: She prioritizes intentionality that's huge for me.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite self is when I'm not chasing my day I'm ahead of my day and that starts by intentionally getting up intentionally putting my robe on intentionally creating my coffee intentionally lighting my candle when I do those things when I lead my day I have the most exquisite days not always you know incomes and success and goals and those but just exquisite in the way I feel and the way I move my favorite self because she leads her day treats people with so much respect and honor and love and appreciation because she's created the space to do that by caring for myself and being intentional.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can also be intentional about the way I show up in my conversations and my interaction whether that be a podcast interview with you or going to the grocery store and telling somebody they look great or smiling at a stranger or helping somebody in need.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite self just sees things and notices, doesn't have her face in her phone, but is looking up and enjoying the fruits of her labor, the beauty that is available for free, the ways in which she wants to refine the things that she wants to wink at and the things that she wants to maybe polish up a little bit more.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's that pursuit of myself that is my favorite self and the pursuit not in the way of there's lack not in the way that it's not enough, but the pursuit of what else is possible, what else is here?
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_00: What else do I have to offer and give and contribute that's my favorite self wow I have goosebumps like teary eyes all the things oh so beautiful and that's something that's always resonated with me.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: I thought of that today knowing that we had this recording I felt like I was channeling my inner my inner favorite self of Jen of just being so intentional of how I started my morning and how I was prepping like that's something that's really stuck with me.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I love leaving our listeners with that.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: And just also I'd love to share how they can find you how can they continue to connect with you.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much Carly for having me and I I really love honoring a podcast host because this is time, finance, thoughtfulness there's a lot that goes into producing a podcast.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to thank you on behalf of myself and your audience for doing that for us.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_00: To find me would be to come to Becoming Iconic on Instagram.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_00: Becomingiconic dotco is the most beautiful website ever.
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's a showcase what we do in our creative agency.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_00: The digital magazine is available at iconic magazine double underscore all of those um are just sort of are alive and there and that's a great place to end like have an entry point the podcast lids with the magazine as well and then I'm always in my DMs like I I have a a an obsession with connection in my DMs.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you can always reach me there.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah it's always the best getting a voice note from Jen and your DMs and couldn't agree more the website is such a showstopper.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's incredible the magazine is absolutely beautiful.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone go get your hands on it and connect with Jen and thank you Jen so much for taking the time to spend your morning with me.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like we could talk forever we'll need to do a part two and I'm so excited I get to see you in person really soon.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll continue the conversation then.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you everyone for listening.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you next week.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_01: If this episode stirred something in you there's a reason for it.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_01: You could take a moment to share with a friend someone who's also building something brave that would mean so much to me.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_01: Better yet, leave a review.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_01: It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently and before you go remember this your favorite self is already within you waiting to be heard.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time