Latest / Dear Son, / Old Paint. New Canvas. | Leaving Tradition for Innovation | Ep 146 The Dear Son, Show

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Old Paint. New Canvas. | Leaving Tradition for Innovation | Ep 146 The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: And we live.
• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show, where we have meaningful conversations to have young boys and men know now what we wish we knew then.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm one of your host Jay Black, the Josh, the other host, the Josh, what's good brother?
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm good, man.
• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: How are you, sir?
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm feeling good, man.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: What about you?
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: What's your summer doing?
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Somerside, we progress, sir.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Might be going to this conference.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Come on.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Quick aside.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got in the podcast and because of my wife, I got serious about podcast and because of David Shans.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: And so social group podcast.
• 0:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the last three years he's been doing the
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: The podcast summit.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, he's bringing the top talent.
• 0:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Typically, telling of color that the booths and shakers in the space and I haven't gone.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Matter of fact, when you met him, we were at an event.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: We talked about seeing in Miami.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yep.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what he was talking about.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: So this year, last year was in Atlanta, this year's in Atlanta.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And he had a live and I got on the one free tickets.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Then he upgraded because I answered the question.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think he, I think he was just, anyhow, that's my guy.
• 1:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I'm excited about that, man, and I get around the moves and shakers and maybe unleashed the next level on this thing.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Certainly.
• 1:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's been a good moment this week.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Wasted my time this morning going to dealership when I coined the they call me the schedule to tell me it was not scheduled when I got there.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's such a life.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you don't have it like that, it's not the dealership.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I'm glad you're
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm glad you feed on to the table man.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not going to play in it this time.
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's funny.
• 1:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: You say that.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: I got three coming up.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: I think that's all.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: I came say that.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was about to say, I think as I last three trips, it's not.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it's just, it's a lot of moving and shaking going on, man.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: My kids gone for the summer.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: So we're turning business trips and pleasure trips and combining the two and they trying to get both in some of them on just for pleasure, because we just don't get to do this.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, wife and I have been standing up ridiculous.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was just kicking it though.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: because we don't get to do that when the kids had been to the grocery stores since the kids left.
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's new.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, with the people that go to the grocery store every single day, they eat everything per day.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: But fun fact, my wife makes groceries.
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I can help put the groceries away.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: The next day I have no idea what she actually bought.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: That overnight rush plan.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know that was so horny.
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: I got to catch you right there though.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: I heard one of them janky south Louise and the terms just come out of your mouth.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: Did you say y'all make groceries?
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: If y'all doing Virginia?
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, y'all make groceries.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Holy cow.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: They make groceries in the world.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what y'all got right?
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, don't say y'all.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 2:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, New Orleans.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's right.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's right.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's right.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't do that.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: The land.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Not Louisiana.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Uh, y'all go get y'all get grown New Orleans and apparently Virginia are the only two places on planet earth.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: They're making groceries.
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, everybody has groceries shop.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: A go grocery shop.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: You'll have supper too.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, sir.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Make groceries, man.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yo, yo, yo, I have supper.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, sir.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have to collect your groceries.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I gotta do that.
• 3:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: You might as well go jam the new clips.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: I have them to pick.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, wait.
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that tracks one, two, thirteen.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, wait.
• 3:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: We, we off track.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, okay.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: No.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm a fitted in it.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm a fitted in it.
• 3:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's gonna be on the way.
• 3:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: In the, in the true spirit of what we've been doing here lately, we get right to it.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: Today, this man literally has usual.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know about now.
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: He has no idea what this topic is.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: Today's topic that we will be discussing.
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: You ready for this?
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm here.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Keep your old paint of my new canvas.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: That doesn't get it for a second.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Keep your old paint.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: of my new canvas.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Real quick.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: How do you get out of there?
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm I am conflicted.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now, if you want me to jump in the first, I'm conflicted.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: I get it out there.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Taking time.
• 3:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because I get it.
• 4:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 4:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, could, oh, could infer that it is not of the same quality that it was when it was new.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if you got a new canvas, you might not want to, you might not want to.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Tarnished the new canvas, or wasting new canvas with paint.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's not the quality that it once was.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: I like that.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: But also, maybe the paint aged well.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you just having a version that makes it all with the new, where the old could actually be beneficial to the new situation.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's that's immediately went through my mind with your guy.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to cheat a little bit because I've his life had time to go over this thing a little bit.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: To me, it's more so of a sometimes information can be antiquated.
• 4:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: So we're in a new day, we're in a new time, we're in a new era.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're in an accident, if you will, a major transitional transition, a generational transition.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: As far as currency, technology, life as we know it is changing before I very eyes.
• 5:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: And we have some
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: people of the community and not a certain race religion or greed, just human being that we just, we hold on to our whole ways with a death grip.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: fighting the new.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: And we want to force our whole way of thinking into this modern new society where you could possibly be looking at trying to mix oil and water that they're so different.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that's what we're going to be addressing today, what I'm going to do for because obviously throughout the episode, we're going to unpack some things.
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: So starting with, like Shannon subscribe, please at the top of the aisle, like share and subscribe.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: It really, really matters it does.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're going to look at, I
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: When it comes again, it's almost like a series.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: We've been talking about transition, our children transition in from our sons specifically, transition from high school into life.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: And as all great parents do, we're very focused on making certain that they're intentional about these steps they're taken, right?
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: So because we're intentional about the steps that they're taken,
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Have you ever sat back and maybe thought or felt?
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was just the right amount, not enough, or maybe even micro managing.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Let's start there before I go back.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know that I've ever felt micro as a micro manager with my children.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: They may say otherwise.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: But because that was such an issue for me, I didn't like me in micro management as a child.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not that they did it to a large degree, but I, you know, it was
• 6:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: We talked about having freedoms before, like freedom was something I found outside of the house.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: And after I left the house, tongue and cheek to a degree, but like, if kids have a way different understanding of what they ought to be able to do, and I didn't have that when I was a child, right?
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Specifically, when I joined the workforce, that's one thing that I hated early in my career, not necessarily my corporate career, but when I went into ship construction,
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: The shop supervisor would literally calm and stand over your shoulder as you're welding, as you beveling, whatever, and kind of white-glove it.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they used to know me.
• 7:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: But then when I became a manager, I kind of understood it, right?
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because it maybe has said something more about me or it maybe says something about him.
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it wasn't singling me out.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I just, I never liked it.
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I've kind of aired on the side of trying to position my chin was going to figure it out.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe sometimes too much rope.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not to the point where they are harmed by it, but maybe forcing them to think through a situation with not enough information.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And since we talk about, you try to get information.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know that it's definitely, it's just why I've done that.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think about it is, starting that way with my older kids, I see
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: that it can't work with my younger kids.
• 8:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because they had time to observe, absorb, and see how things flow in the house.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I said before, they kind of play up.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: They don't want to be the short in a situation.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: They don't want to be the one lacking in any situation where there's something physical or telling jokes or whatever it is.
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I think I'm more on that side of kind of figure it out.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Interestingly enough, standard thing with my son, before you came, he had his call about, a call with the school, his part of the process.
• 8:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Last week, the call didn't happen.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: I went upstairs with the energy of, oh, you over slept because I knew what time the call was, right?
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't hear any motion, right?
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I went upstairs to wake him up with the energy of,
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: See?
• 9:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: See?
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: You still.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now the people didn't call him.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: So he had a save.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: But then I was like, OK, so what do you do?
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: You need to have this call.
• 9:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: They don't necessarily need you in their school.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Correct.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: What's the correction?
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Correct.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I let it bring you to the next day.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: I said, hey, did you get a car procedure?
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like I got it.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: But my woman didn't send me to email confirmation.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: So as much as I
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm on defense about it's on you, it's on you.
• 9:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: I kind of see it now paying dividends with him specifically going to this next stage of life.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to use something what you see it, especially the portion about the supervisors standing over your shoulder.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Not to misconstrued this topic with
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't listen to elders.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't listen to wisdom.
• 9:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't listen to those who have lived life.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because regardless of what the scenario is, wisdom is wisdom.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: So to that point, I'd like to point out that.
• 10:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: focus on just that thing though.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's my goal.
• 10:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: My goal is to try to learn to teach wisdom not steps.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to teach you the wisdom of what's going on, not the steps, because the steps will be outdated or do not fit, but the wisdom of life is never outdated as time is.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: So because of that,
• 10:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm looking at the scenario with the supervisor that's going to over the micromanage and stand over your shoulder while you're boiled and doing your job.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: The importance of how important this task is makes him want to reassure himself that it's absolutely done to the tea, to the specs or the specifications of the client of the product whatever's going on.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: They're quite possibly lives on the line in that scenario.
• 10:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Same scenario in parenting.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: as a parent because we know your life is on the line, lives are on the line, your future, your children.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: People that you're responsible for, I'm responsible for you.
• 11:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes I have to fight the tendency of, I want to stand and look over your shoulder because I know if this isn't done right, I know the consequences, how great they are.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Perhaps you don't understand that yet, so it's better for me to catch the mistake as it's happening.
• 11:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Then to just walk away and overly trust you,
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: and then now the mistake happens.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: And now I'm kicking myself saying, I should have ran my finger across that belt.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 11:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: I should have checked that wheeled.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: How do you know about that?
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's funny.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: You said correct.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why tighten that?
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: How about the key?
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you're like, you will let's go.
• 11:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're going to pay something, we use a high, a high speed polisher.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Mm-hmm.
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: It kind of cleaned it up, but you weren't supposed to.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Cuffles will do it.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Cause I'm there.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm trying.
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now, in that same spirit.
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's funny.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: So in that same spirit, because the importance of the wisdom and not the steps, if I walk away and you miss a step, because I gave you the steps, now you're walking into a situation, almost when you look at your paper and say, okay, this happens now this, what if things don't pan out in that order?
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now you don't have the wisdom to understand where the feel or what your next
• 12:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: proper action or steps should be same thing with finance same thing now the currency is changing we're going digital we're going crypto we're going these different tokens we're going hey companies are going more automated so now we're looking at what part do what role would I play my steps are get out of school go to school get trained start a job
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: commit myself to this company or this corporation for this many years.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: We've already had conversations about that being the old train of thought.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's accelerated.
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now, how do I program the program that's now going to run this facility?
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: How do I get on the side of the fence where I'm part of the decision making process?
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because again, there's a mentality.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm either at the table or I'm on the menu, you understand.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: So if I'm, if I have to take my power into account and decide, do I want to be sitting at the table or do I want to be on the menu?
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because those that are on the menu, you may not be on the menu tomorrow because you could possibly get an eaten or discard it today.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: What did that I was trying to get out that I couldn't get past when you said it was,
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: the wisdom of the process and not just the steps.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think where I've missed when my mind initially went when you said that was I am guilty of not explaining the why of the steps, right?
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: We can assume by giving them the steps that the steps are valuable information and steps have a place, but it's a call back to
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: part of the story that I told before when I started in my woodland to my corporate career and my boss called me in an office and was reviewing my work.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: She didn't call me in that point out mistake.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: She called me in to ask me why was it right.
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: and I didn't have an answer, right?
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because all the while, I was just really, I was duplicating what other people showed me and told me it was the right way to do it.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 14:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: So the risk wasn't that that puts it, I was in purchasing.
• 14:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we're writing agreements for stuff, Python as a fitness specifically.
• 14:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we're gonna buy it under these terms, conditions of this price is delivery, those things.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it wasn't that I introduced risk of the actual order.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: The risk was me as a person in her organization, not actually knowing
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: My job, right?
• 14:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: I knew processed steps, but I didn't actually understand my jobs.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's one that soon as you said that.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I heard everything after that, but I got stuck at man.
• 14:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am big guilty of here's information.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I believe you can interpret it.
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you might be able to, but the discussion, which could have just been five more minutes of, here's why it's important that you understand all of it.
• 15:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not just the one, two, three, four, because if three is gone, do you know to go to five or can you go from three to five?
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 15:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Is there a four A?
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, what does it look like?
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: So that's not just that's real.
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Real issue.
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Real concern.
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because I've been in the instances to that point.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: I've been in instances where everything was so departmentalized that
• 15:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't worry about what happens in that next department.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: I need you to know this department front to back.
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then once it's released to the next department, it's out of your hands.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: You're a superstar in a zone.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: But if you teach each department, the responsibilities and duties of each other department, you know why you're doing what you're doing.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it could be up to standard, but you may see a process that could perhaps
• 15:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Let's add this or move this up.
• 16:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that's going to help that next department tie into this, even better, even quicker, more efficiently.
• 16:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: So life is like that.
• 16:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: If I only teach you how to do this, go do this, get this A on this test.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now what?
• 16:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now how do I use that?
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: What is that going to show me?
• 16:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: What is that going to do?
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: So with that,
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: The last show we had, you made a standout comment to me that really, it resonated with me.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it resurfaces here.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it's on the same time.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: You said that you realized that we're going to, again, sticking with, keep your old pain off my new canvas, right?
• 16:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: You said that you grew up, obviously, in a two-parent home.
• 16:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: And you said, hey, my mom and my dad's their marriage.
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: I, because of what I saw, this is what marriage looks like.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: This is the motions of marriage.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: But implementing those things, that style of husband and wife to my marriage didn't necessarily deal with how my marriage is made.
• 17:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Keep on of that.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: That wasn't wrong.
• 17:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: It worked for your parent.
• 17:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: But that paint
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: doesn't fit the canvas of Derek and Kisha John.
• 17:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: You understand.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now because this is a new canvas, me saying keep your old paint off this canvas.
• 17:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's nothing wrong with that paint.
• 17:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: That paint is absolutely beautiful.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: But this canvas deserves its own paint.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: You understand.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: And because this canvas now deserves its own paint.
• 17:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: What do you?
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: And again, directing this back to the conversation.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: How does that process work for you?
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, like, the emotional maturity that it takes to realize, because human nature, especially in man world, before this thing, yeah, it's gonna work.
• 17:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: You're gonna get on this page.
• 17:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: This how my dad and my mom's marriage was.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna be exactly like I saw what my dad was.
• 18:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you don't like it or it doesn't fit for you, it's gonna fit right now.
• 18:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's gonna fit for you.
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: So with you, but that in mind,
• 18:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: I guess the ups, downs, bonds, bruises, the love, the beauty, the pre-stage of not, you know, trying the old paint versus the, you found your home paint, speaking to that for your children, and the importance of them seeing the example of that in real time.
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Was really challenging my thought process right now is, the example that I gave about me in my wife, it's come up a few times.
• 18:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I won't belabor it.
• 18:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: That example that I'm setting for them me having the information knowing that it didn't work one generation to the next just repeating.
• 18:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I haven't necessarily had the conversation with them about this is the why with you and your with me and your mom.
• 18:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 18:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 18:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: So trusting that they're watching my actions is actually kind of scary because it's certain parts.
• 19:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I definitely don't want them repeat that.
• 19:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if there's never anything physical, not that anybody assume that.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if you in case you did, I'm just not that kind of person, relying on just my actions alone, even if they're sound in the moment, not having that full explanation of, this is why that works.
• 19:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I got children, you know, my children are twenty one, nineteen, eighteen.
• 19:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I just wanted to come on eighteen.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Eleven to ten, my eleven is about to be twelve years old.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I have three adults that could be like if their if their pace is anything like their parents.
• 19:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Couple of men at window of being serious about somebody.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm that's not the person I'm putting on my point is I can't I can't leave it to chance.
• 19:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: With all the information that I have, right, whether the pain applies to their cameras or not.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: There needs to be more conversation in my house specifically with my sons about the why of how I approach things.
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: We have a lot of conversations about who I was, what, how I'm developing and things that I've gone through.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I've been open and honest about my past, but I don't know the day I actually understand the why of
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: of who I am right and understanding that should help them to calibrate and adjust to what parts of me work for them in life and how they move into what their goals are and what parts of it don't work to me spur more conversations about so that why you I don't understand that about you like like what is that about right as you are articulating it leading to the question I'm like oh I don't
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And as much as I pride myself and I proud of, and I'm glad about how open we are in conversation.
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, still parts of that conversation that I'm, that I'm limiting that they may not even realize.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if I look at the perspective of how I got there where I am, it's because I realized that some things didn't work before.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I need to have a little bit more deep conversation about the why of things.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: Saying, because I feel like I don't apply enough.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: pressure on myself to I'm still parenting through a assumption there's things that I'm doing in front of my children and my family that I they probably don't know why they just know this is a thing this is why this is this way and I need to be more actively
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: talking, you know, it's almost like a cooking show.
• 21:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: I can stand here and prepare a meal in front of you your entire life.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: But if I never ever have a conversation, I want to cook a show, it's basic to them.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm cracking three eggs dropping here.
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm a folded into them.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: They know that they're experts at it.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's so basic and minimal to them that they think you should be able to look at this and know exactly what I'm doing.
• 22:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I've never had a conversation with you that this is called an egg.
• 22:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: This is called folding.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: This is called needing the dough.
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: They don't know that.
• 22:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: They just know I don't know my grandmother used to punch the dough with her feet.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: They don't know that.
• 22:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: So if I'm doing it,
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Imagine if I'm talking about it and discussing it while it's going on in real time.
• 22:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: You're seeing it, you're hearing it, and you're getting a perspective on it.
• 22:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it could stick, it could stay, and you can have an understanding.
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Not necessarily my understanding.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can hear what I'm doing and you may say to yourself, but dad, you really could have dropped that on the salt inside of that and rolled that before you did it that you possibly could have skipped this step, but because I didn't even have a discussion with you about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.
• 22:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: You understand?
• 22:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Another level to that is those conversations explaining the why.
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now you understand why you can't replace this oil that I always use with that oil.
• 23:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because the smoke point is different.
• 23:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Correct.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is a high heat thing and this is a low temp thing.
• 23:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that could be a very serious situation that you just leave the chance that oil is oil.
• 23:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's a trend going on now that I've seen's primarily on TikTok where
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: The wife is coming to the husband and saying, hey, I just changed the oil in the car.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she'll be walking with like a peanut oil jug or something like that.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I found a stick.
• 23:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I found a plug and all that.
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I drained it and I refilled it.
• 23:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: And for me, I'm like, of course, well, I don't know.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 23:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Cause it helped mine, maybe oil is all.
• 23:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that was the point, right?
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Whether it was staged and that and I'm like, okay, so everything is not, guess that's the point.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: If we put everything out with assumption that they understand that things are always as they appear.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And things are rarely in real life as they appear to be.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: I promise you.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: How frequent can you think or feel or say?
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know for me pretty low that you've stood your son or your daughters or sons rather than want to leave you live.
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: But you've stood one of your children in front of their canvas.
• 24:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: and just step back, kind of show me what you got.
• 24:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Not in a set you up for failure or I'm trying to put pressure on, you don't see that you're going to make a mistake.
• 24:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: See, see?
• 24:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's why you need to listen to me.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now with that spirit at all, but a spirit of
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's not even a check.
• 24:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, we've had conversations about periodically checking the end.
• 24:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Show me you got it.
• 24:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Show me you understand it.
• 24:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Not even that.
• 24:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Remove that from the table.
• 24:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just a perspective of this new eyes.
• 25:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Got my blood in you.
• 25:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I'm like DNA in you.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Show me the new version of what this bloodline looks like or does.
• 25:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: What's your thoughts?
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: If I just handed this whole thing over to you right now today.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, what's the first five things you think you change or just or move to or make it?
• 25:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Would you stay here?
• 25:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Would you be in this house?
• 25:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: Would you be in this city?
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Then state, industry wise, what would you do?
• 25:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: What would you do with your siblings that you have?
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: What would you do if you were the parent and I was you?
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: And you see what I mean?
• 25:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that would give you insight on, that can perhaps help me become a better father, better parent.
• 25:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because it's like, and I didn't think about it from that perspective.
• 25:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: But if you just check in,
• 25:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm guilty of it.
• 25:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't do it enough.
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I'll say flat out, no, as a short answer.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: In terms of it being an intentional thing that they recognize that I'm watching.
• 25:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 26:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: When you mention the Eli specifically with him, he's not a spotlight person.
• 26:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: So he doesn't mind being observed, but he doesn't want to have the conversation of do this thing something would you get?
• 26:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 26:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if he's in his element, and I come like, I made a comment before you give him some cardboard tape and says it's him, but make a computer.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Great.
• 26:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's a very little thing.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not a working computer, but he created, okay, this is my CPU, this is my, and he explained his CPUs, my monitor, this is my mouse was three D, the mouse had it.
• 26:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: It had a give to it, so you felt like it was clicking.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 26:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm looking at it so from that perspective, I'm watching it, but have I actually challenged any of them saying, hey,
• 26:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: How would you do this thing?
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, which is a good point, especially with the, what are all of us?
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was gonna, especially, whooped all the ones, but I think it'd be a good exercise for all of them.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: My version of that is watching them do a thing.
• 27:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: When they know I'm watching, but I'm still, it's clear that I'm allowing them to be.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And sometimes, especially with you, I'm like, what, how did you, what made you do that?
• 27:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I looked at how I saw this, it's or to him, it'll be very logical.
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I remember very early with him before he could read.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you give him a Lego set, he'll put the picture in front of him and build it.
• 27:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely won't be a peace level.
• 27:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's just how his mind works with.
• 27:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: As some, you look for these colors or whatever have you.
• 27:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: He would look at it and recreate it.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I do see that in them.
• 27:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I do, I'm gonna take you up on that, the actual challenge of
• 27:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, what are your thoughts on this?
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: You've seen it this way, but what are your thoughts on this?
• 27:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this, I hear more so in conversation with Eden and Eli, because they're more in front and around me and kiss them than the older ones they've been doing, they think.
• 28:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: They were having a conversation of the day that just triggered in my mind when you said that Eli said, what if I was born first?
• 28:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
• 28:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it was a whole dialogue that I did like a first, you know, he was trying to dismiss it.
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: But he was like, that's he was on the track of which it's talking about is, what if things were different?
• 28:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Or how can things be different?
• 28:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Both of which I think are important.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: So that's.
• 28:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: And conversations like that indirectly could be a
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: walk a mile in my shoes conversation, without even knowing that's what you're looking at.
• 28:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: And now, some things that you overlook or take for granted, different perspective, man, I think I'm disregarding you a little bit, or I'm taking advantage of you or this is abuse or something, and it doesn't have to be negative.
• 28:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe some great, you know what I mean?
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that carries over again, role, life, marriage, family,
• 29:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Community-wise, society is more of a society thing than the community where I'm hated with this next one.
• 29:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's an unspoken.
• 29:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes it's very spoken, very vocal, some people are very vocal about it.
• 29:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's an unspoken that once you become an adult, you're pretty much responsible for your parents.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right?
• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Think about that.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: There are communities that absolutely don't believe in that.
• 29:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: There are some communities that believe in that to the end of their breath.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: I pay it forward.
• 29:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: There are nationalities that you are obligated to move your parents, grandparents, whoever is living once you are
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: earning, you have a home, you're expected to get a sizable home that fits in accommodates everybody.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: So, as admirable as that is, I have been meditating this week on touring around with the idea of, do my children feel obligated for my will being and my wife's will being.
• 30:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: I hear adults because again, life is cycles, right?
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's a lot of people in our age group right now that their parents held are questionable in areas.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: And there, that's just became a part of their day.
• 30:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: There haven't, they've become the caregivers.
• 30:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: I actually, another conversation, another perspective came to the table.
• 30:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: You'll see where I'm headed with this.
• 30:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: A close close friend of mine, mutual friend, said, I'm not qualified.
• 30:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not a caregiver.
• 30:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not a, that's not to say I don't love my parent.
• 30:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm trying to make moves now to make provisions that my parent will be living near me, not necessarily with me to an extent.
• 31:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm doing the bathing and the clothing and the feeding.
• 31:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna hire
• 31:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: qualified medical help that are that's their thing.
• 31:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's their job.
• 31:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's their trade.
• 31:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Some people aren't in a position to absorb the cost because that's not cheap at all.
• 31:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now if it's an insurance thing, if it's out of pocket thing, that's getting off the track.
• 31:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: The concentration of the old paint on the new canvas, the traditional belief of
• 31:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't care what kind of strain it puts on you, your house, your marriage, your family, your situation.
• 31:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: You may work three jobs, your spouse works two jobs.
• 31:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: But now if something happens to an elder, and it's on you because that's your tradition, the old print, if you will.
• 32:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: What if that crash is out the house?
• 32:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: What if I can't afford to stop one of these two three jobs in my up spouse can't afford to stop one or two of the jobs?
• 32:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Where does that fall with the old paint on the new canvas?
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: The new canvas?
• 32:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, you're just doing too much.
• 32:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: You're trying to live above your means if you have to have five jobs.
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now, necessarily, maybe we're trying to use this thing to prepare ourselves that when we're in that position, the obligation to our children is not there.
• 32:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: It does not exist because we're while we're able by the, we're trying to put those things in motion and in place now.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: What does that strike as far as your perspective on?
• 32:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: And not trying to ask, do you think it's right or wrong or should you or should you not?
• 32:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's not this conversation.
• 32:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's just that some children are burdened because there's no legitimate conversation ahead about health, health care or you could love me to death, but your spouse not so much.
• 32:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: And now I'm just automatically gonna assume you and your spouse gotta take me in.
• 33:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know what I mean?
• 33:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: And now you're pressing your child to have a forceful conversation with their spouse on your behalf, but maybe you didn't do enough to forge a relationship where that spouse would almost fight your child for you to be in the mix.
• 33:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: You see what I mean?
• 33:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I know that's a lot.
• 33:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, it's, but it's, it's a lived experience because I've seen both of my parents do with their mothers.
• 33:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: So my, my mom's mom,
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: live with them.
• 33:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think eight years up until she passed.
• 33:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And my mom became the primary care given that she had help.
• 33:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: So when you were talking about the friend that's making provisions for that help, I saw the thing about the whole story is that help.
• 33:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like everybody doesn't treat your parent like you would treat your parent.
• 33:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 33:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then even that could be good or bad.
• 33:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you love and had that relationship with your parent that's great.
• 33:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if you think they can be anywhere any help will do, that's all another thing.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: looking at the strain that it put on my parents.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: My dad's mom never moved in, but they were making plans for.
• 34:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: So they potentially would have had both of them living with them, because they were both in the place where they needed it.
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 34:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: The strain that the hazard on had conversations with my mom and my dad, and most of my dad about it, just understanding from his lens, because it was his mother-in-law, like think about your mother-in-all living in.
• 34:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: not that more than laws have a peanut butter spread relationship with their son and son and laws.
• 34:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's just right, right, right.
• 34:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Whatever it is.
• 34:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: But just the thought of that watching them go through that as empty nesters.
• 34:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it was a whole lot of strength.
• 34:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 34:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: So thinking about it in terms of
• 34:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: That being the third generation moving into the house.
• 35:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now I have a third generation that was birthed into my house.
• 35:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 35:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: My child had a child.
• 35:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Great.
• 35:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Great.
• 35:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if I had children and now we're bringing in parents.
• 35:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: that influence your day-to-day.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 35:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's going to impact.
• 35:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's going to disrupt, and these are not negative things, but it's going to disrupt your pattern.
• 35:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: So whatever you've worked to set, that has to change.
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: That has to be a conversation with your children.
• 35:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
• 35:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: The weight and the strain that it puts on you individually, how do you manage that your children are watching it?
• 35:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, are you walking around frustrated?
• 35:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because life is dramatically different than that.
• 35:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 35:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Are they bringing an influence that doesn't necessarily align with how you've chosen to raise it?
• 35:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's all of those things that I'm thinking about now.
• 35:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: that we've never, like he's not known to discuss them, but it's a real thing now, because her parents moved here because her dad's health was challenged, and it was just her mom and her dad, where they live, all the children moved away.
• 35:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 35:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're here.
• 35:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Her younger sister's here now, her brother was in Houston for a minute, but now he's in Atlanta.
• 36:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: So the nucleus was gone.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 36:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 36:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I was thinking of this.
• 36:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Stop saying this funny thing.
• 36:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was thinking about this the other day.
• 36:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I knew her parents were coming here and I knew why, but me and Keesha never had a conversation about it.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm not putting that fault on anything.
• 36:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's just number one, she's the oldest and her relationship with her dad, as all the tunes is very special.
• 36:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: And what that mental preparation was for her,
• 36:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: to prepare to see him in that state all the time, because again, we talked about it before, we were the part of the family that moved away.
• 36:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we go home to visit, see everybody, be there for a week, try to get to ten, fifteen houses.
• 36:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 36:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's a whirlwind.
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, trust.
• 36:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: But when you have to actually be aware and see somebody's decline, whether they have it, you know, it's not, I'm not saying it's all negative, but some days are better than the others.
• 37:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: What kind of strain that puts on her?
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: She's working.
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's five children.
• 37:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's a grandchild.
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's me.
• 37:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: What do I, where do I think I fit in?
• 37:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do I fight for my space still or do I step back because I know that there's a new need in town?
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 37:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do I try to help her meet in it like all of those things that literally going through my mind that there's like, man, we.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: We knew it was coming, but we never actually had a.
• 37:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is how it's going to impact us and to think that they move it permanently.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: So at some point, just because of the cycle of life, the other part of it is, now I don't think we're going anywhere.
• 37:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 37:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: So if that was a desire and life, like all of those things, all of those things hit when the situation hits and having never had the conversation about it, I actually never seen a scenario that looked like ours.
• 38:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: my dose of real things.
• 38:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I know that's the, the DS line view looking up to the parents, but also it's modeling how I children may treat us.
• 38:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Great.
• 38:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: If we come to that point, are you thinking about which kids are going to take care of you, depending on the day.
• 38:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: I promise.
• 38:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Depending on the day I got, I got my
• 38:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got my theories.
• 38:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got chances.
• 38:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got my theories.
• 38:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think we're gonna be good.
• 38:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah, cause somebody.
• 38:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't tell anybody.
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 38:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: So, tell me.
• 38:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: No numbers on my side.
• 38:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 38:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna be a game of numbers.
• 38:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Somebody.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Somebody gonna step up to that old plate.
• 38:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's a very, very thing that I don't, you can get caught up in your responsibility and the way that you framed in the terms of being responsible for the old generation is easy to say.
• 39:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Flippin' lead it.
• 39:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what's wrong with us now.
• 39:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: The money, the money can't come down and gotta go back up.
• 39:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: But the main, how is the thing?
• 39:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: How do we have?
• 39:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it could be a tricky conversation because depending on how it's handled.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm not suggesting selfishness, I'm not suggesting obligation.
• 39:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: You have to figure out what your fit is.
• 39:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: It absolutely works for a group of people.
• 39:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's an absolute, I just cannot, it would destroy everything in the world if I did it.
• 39:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: I have to find another route.
• 39:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not here to discuss that on anyone's behalf for them to do it.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just a matter of this is a conversation that needs to be had regardless.
• 39:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because now just this will be the introduction to some to be like, we facing that right now in my wife and our mother has been in our have not had this conversation.
• 39:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Often we find ourselves going through life and relationships.
• 40:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: business is usual.
• 40:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: We can tell it's not.
• 40:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: We take for granted that this person is sitting next to me.
• 40:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: We take for granted that this conversation, like, I had a whole conversation in my head and I didn't share a single word of it with my spouse sitting next to me about a thing, whatever that thing is.
• 40:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: People are like, he shoot them.
• 40:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: I could have possibly just made myself angry.
• 40:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: I could have just whatever.
• 40:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
• 40:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: However, if I do look at what I have going on, I have to be mindful of what's going on in the moment, right?
• 40:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it's dealing with keep your old pain off my new canvas, but it's also dealing with a scooter update.
• 40:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 40:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I felt this on that campus.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: One time.
• 40:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Quick update.
• 40:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: And if you watch this show, you know what it is.
• 40:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, Pepp moment a couple of weeks ago, so what I thought was a Pepp, what I stayed.
• 41:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: What's the irony?
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: What's the world, Pepp Miller?
• 41:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, what's the irony?
• 41:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Funny.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's gonna have a funny ending.
• 41:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: I discussed, hey, my son's going off the college.
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Go get him a scooter.
• 41:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: One of these little electric scooters.
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: I see it on the campus that I attended all the times.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: I thought it was a thing.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: had a conversation with the neighbor.
• 41:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: He said, no, I'm not getting my son when he needed to get it.
• 41:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: I live.
• 41:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: I walk to campus, keep the self in shape.
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, man, that's brilliant.
• 41:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Can't talk to you about it.
• 41:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: We talked about it curve ball.
• 41:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Talk to my son because he's a way that school already in summer school.
• 41:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Guess what the culture is on the campus?
• 41:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Everybody's running scooters.
• 41:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: So the conversation, oh, paint.
• 41:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't get my son a scooter because he's gonna miss out all the conversations and the networking.
• 42:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Everybody's commuting on foot to class.
• 42:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: And so if I be the one that go get my son a scooter, he's gonna be the one zooming around campus while everyone else is walking and talking and forging these bonds.
• 42:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, you absolutely right.
• 42:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's a good point.
• 42:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: because we are walking around with this old paint.
• 42:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: We owe it.
• 42:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now, if you move the onks out the way and pay attention to what these youngsters got going on, I almost quoted you.
• 42:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now, imagine if our sons, our children listen to our antiquated advice,
• 42:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: and they're walking around campus and it's the exact opposite.
• 42:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: They're the only ones walking around and the entire campus on a scooter.
• 42:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now, he's looking at you when my scooter or what are they just doing, they're renting the scooters, thirty seconds for, I don't know what they do, thirty cents a minute, whatever.
• 43:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Anyway, you're paying, I had you as cook the right hit the house, but I had an old head meeting
• 43:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: And the consensus of the old heads said, send that boy to school with no school to man, let the boy walk.
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: You absolutely right, only to find out that they get there and the new way of doing things.
• 43:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I had time for walking a mile across this campus in a hundred and five degrees.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Getting on this scooter, I'll be there in thirty seconds.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's time to get to the next task.
• 43:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: We've got to forget it.
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're forgetting, this is the microwave generation.
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: They want everything right now.
• 43:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: I can take twenty minutes to walk across campus or I can get across campus in three minutes.
• 43:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then I have seventeen minutes to do something else.
• 43:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: I wish it was to solve some.
• 43:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're a hunger or something, but whatever you don't choose to do to seventeen minutes, he got it.
• 43:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: They look weird.
• 43:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Still trying to teach them horse and buggy.
• 44:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: And these people on jet plane.
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: We have to catch up.
• 44:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that's why we got a backup without open.
• 44:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: It worked for us.
• 44:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: Great.
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: So new generation, man, they ride inside by side, having quick meetings on a scooter, talking, it's faster.
• 44:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now if you're trying to force feed your ancient oatmeal to this kid, they not own that.
• 44:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: But you're trying to make him listen to it if we just stand back, put them in front of the canvas and watch him work.
• 44:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't have to, I want to be a flower in the wall.
• 44:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want you to know I'm looking.
• 44:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Do your thing.
• 44:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: I might learn something and that just happened to me this week.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: My son said, man, the whole campus, school to school to school to cross this.
• 44:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I got the school to feel right here, baby, lost my school because I got to give him my school because I have one.
• 44:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want me to go to.
• 44:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: I see what you did.
• 44:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: But you see the point?
• 44:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 44:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, he is.
• 45:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Imagine your dad telling you, you don't know how to dress.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: You pop out with a collar.
• 45:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's your favorite.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, you can stop right there.
• 45:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Call it to the shoulders.
• 45:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: And you got the the twenty seven is beer bottoms because Nate's son now you're fresh for your time.
• 45:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: You understand?
• 45:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's not the thing.
• 45:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: So now, send your son to the court to the gym now with basketball or shorts that go to his shoes, because that was the nineties.
• 45:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you go back and look at the LeBron's and the AIs, the big shorts down to the, they don't hoop in that no more.
• 45:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 45:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Keep your old paying off my new campus.
• 45:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think I think all of that makes sense.
• 45:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: We still got to temper it with a
• 45:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: not throwing the baby out in the bathroom.
• 45:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Correct, correct.
• 45:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: As I said, you could stop talking about my, you know, it's all my pocket.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: My pulse was influenced by it.
• 45:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: But as me, how does, how to shop?
• 45:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 45:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: So get fresh.
• 45:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's actually some value that I'm seeing now in what I saw him do.
• 46:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not that we dressing alike.
• 46:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 46:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: My dad has been practical my whole life.
• 46:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: My dad shops by price.
• 46:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 46:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Price, price, then, look up.
• 46:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 46:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 46:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 46:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is me.
• 46:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: What is the name?
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know if you're an anian or a man named store was called anian.
• 46:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know if it was East Coast.
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know what the reason was, but I was one of the stores we had.
• 46:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 46:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: As I'm in middle school, they still had shoes for the nineteen ninety nine.
• 46:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sir.
• 46:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: My pop swore about it.
• 46:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not for me.
• 46:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: No.
• 46:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: He, I go to the thirty nine nine nine nine right.
• 46:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: And my mom was after probably hit the forty nine nine nine right.
• 46:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 46:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: My God.
• 46:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Until, until probably, he retired.
• 46:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 46:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: So disposable income that he could, you know, get, get loose with.
• 46:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: Let's go.
• 46:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: He only shopped for the nineteen nine nine.
• 46:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is my section.
• 46:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going here and that would determine my style.
• 47:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: I went polar opposites and got a hole.
• 47:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Closet full of stuff right then and I ain't warin' three, four years and my son, full won't grow.
• 47:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got all these, all these shoes that I was, that was part of my rationality on my son, against my son.
• 47:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: That boy can't get past a ten and a half.
• 47:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I got a thirteen.
• 47:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't do, you're not gonna do this to him on the show.
• 47:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: But it was applicable at the time.
• 47:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I quit.
• 47:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I'm saying.
• 47:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm saying that nail, nail that I've had to tighten it, what they say, tighten your belt.
• 47:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 47:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 47:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't, I'd say, draw a string.
• 47:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
• 47:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: In those moments, right now it's my goal to live.
• 47:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: The rest of my life like that, no, but I had a reference.
• 47:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's my point.
• 47:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I had a reference.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: The old pain has some value today, right?
• 47:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 47:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: The goal is to get back to fresh.
• 47:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: It is.
• 47:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: The goal is to get back to fresh.
• 47:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: It is.
• 47:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: The goal is to get back to every day fresh.
• 48:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I, um, did that some, that some value in the practicality of that old pain, certainly.
• 48:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: And my life.
• 48:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's why you, the wisdom.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Don't throw the wisdom out.
• 48:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: That part.
• 48:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just step by step is, so I take this classic brown and put up there.
• 48:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: I teach me to stroke, burnt Santa.
• 48:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, show me how to make this name beautiful, but let me put my spin on it.
• 48:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Give me the wisdom of the necessity of making this canvas beautiful.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 48:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just let me find my way to bring out the beauty in it.
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can't tell me to make it beautiful and give me a pain by the numbers.
• 48:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want pain by the numbers.
• 48:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: The now this is your painting.
• 48:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm just tracing lines at that point.
• 48:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: I had nothing to do with it.
• 48:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm just labor.
• 48:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to be labor.
• 48:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to be an artist.
• 48:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to be a creator.
• 48:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: So if I want to be a creator, if I want to be an artist of this canvas that's in front of me, if it's blank, let me play with it.
• 48:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just teach me to get the boundaries.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: These are the boundaries.
• 49:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: Stay within the boundaries.
• 49:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Let's see what you got.
• 49:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, no hands.
• 49:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that's, I think that's a good spot to kind of wrap, man.
• 49:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: I feel good about the conversation.
• 49:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: What's, what's your got for the people?
• 49:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I got, I didn't know a topic that's burst out of this one is, uh, I'm kind of glossed over and I didn't want to make it a point because it's going to turn to a whole enough conversation.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 49:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: What work for them or what work for us?
• 49:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Did it really work?
• 49:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we ain't gonna win, we ain't gonna go there.
• 49:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: We ain't gonna go there.
• 49:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: I should have got this all earlier.
• 49:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: This sign, twenty-light props that facilitate affect the parenting.
• 49:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Purchase is all happening.
• 49:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
• 49:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's going to research.
• 49:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I appreciate that.
• 49:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's available for order.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you want a quick and fast, get an ebook ebook is an immediate download.
• 49:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're both on the same site link is below.
• 49:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: And search.
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can get fresh like a like my co-host, be fresh every time.
• 50:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I go miss.
• 50:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I need to I need to get him back in my bag.
• 50:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 50:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Trying to think of another span of put on it.
• 50:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I gotta pop out with something you never seen before until we get on the show.
• 50:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 50:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: Then you give me that look like hmm.
• 50:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we don't.
• 50:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, cause you're doing it.
• 50:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you're doing it.
• 50:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you're doing it.
• 50:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I I'd officially don't care about anything.
• 50:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: Wow.
• 50:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't.
• 50:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: But when a team do so bad so long, people just don't even want to talk to me.
• 50:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've been a realist from job since you met me true.
• 50:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've never said anything out of the way that wasn't clearly out of the way for the sake of being out the way.
• 50:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like you don't even care about football no more.
• 50:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: You team don't have to win.
• 50:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I care less about basketball, which says a lot more because basketball is my everyday.
• 50:43
  [UNKNOWN]: Wow.
• 50:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't.
• 50:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't.
• 50:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I can't get to it.
• 50:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Also check on my wife's book.
• 50:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Talk to the princess volume one if you're watching.
• 50:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: You see the overlay if you're listening.
• 50:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Link is below.
• 50:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Get those off the shelf because they're better in your house than in my house.
• 50:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: But you're young.
• 50:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Young scholars of color.
• 51:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I'm trying to say.
• 51:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: or have you grandmother to you to your career.
• 51:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: All the all the book.
• 51:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's it.
• 51:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'll try to take a break from business as usual, especially dealing with your family.
• 51:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's my that's my focus.
• 51:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: We had a significant loss in our family this past week this week, uh, for the eight hours out now.
• 51:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: And
• 51:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: didn't see it coming.
• 51:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: So the importance of business use was high buy.
• 51:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because you love your legend on made it.
• 51:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Time stamp be intentional.
• 51:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: You don't know.
• 51:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm talking to even some other that lives with you.
• 51:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: If they walk out that door, you do not know there is no guarantee that you'll see them at the end of this day.
• 51:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: So be intentional.
• 51:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: Make every moment count.
• 51:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Continue to support like, share, subscribe.
• 52:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: We love it.
• 52:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Y'all live.
• 52:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Peace.