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Patrick Dempsey Goes Beyond Hollywood with The Dempsey Center · Get Real with Jim Weiss

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, you're going to love this next podcast with
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Patrick Dempsey, kind of a brother from another mother. We
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: both had moms who had and died of cancer. Ultimately,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: his suffered in and out of ovarian. Mine had lung cancer.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: And I think we definitely connected on that front. My wife, Audra,
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  Speaker 1: served on his board because she wanted to give back
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: during her cancer journey. She used to refer to cancer
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: as a gift wrapped in barbed wire. So what I
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: think we see with Patrick Dempsey Center is something that
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  Speaker 1: takes people with that attitude and gives them a place
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  Speaker 1: to go beyond their chemo or primary treatment and give
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  Speaker 1: them a more well-rounded life and treatment experience and ultimately
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: great quality life. So we had a really great conversation.
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  Speaker 1: I think you're going to get a lot out of it.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, here's a guy who has played a doctor
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: on TV. I play one on podcasts. So that's kind
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: of fun. And we actually had a very good conversation
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: about what kind of cancer therapy we all make dreamy about.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: So thanks for coming on to Get Real. You always
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: keep it real and we've gotten real plenty of times
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  Speaker 1: and I just want to say also just how much
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate you checking in on me as you have.
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  Speaker 1: And you really haven't lost that small town boy thing, right?
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  Speaker 1: Which is great. And I had it too. And we
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  Speaker 1: grew up in similar ways. And I think both had
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  Speaker 1: moms affected by cancer that led us into this world
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  Speaker 1: that you advocate in and work in and have done
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  Speaker 1: so much. And the goal... of us talking and getting
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  Speaker 1: this out there to my audience is to really show
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  Speaker 1: people what an organization like the Dempsey Center can do
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  Speaker 1: as a way to represent the cancer experience, treatment experience,
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  Speaker 1: and that that can be better than perhaps it was three, five,
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  Speaker 1: 10 years ago. And there's so many great breakthroughs happening
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: that we just saw at ASCO, the new one in
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  Speaker 1: pancreatic cancer.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just reading that article, which is very exciting.
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  Speaker 1: It is so cool. This undruggable KRAS target that does
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  Speaker 1: impact a lot of cancers. It'll open up a whole
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  Speaker 1: new door. But of course, none of these things are cures.
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  Speaker 1: And people still have to get treated and there's side
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  Speaker 1: effects and all kinds of things to manage. So I
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  Speaker 1: really think the work you guys do is so important.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe it's still mainly in Maine, but I think it's
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  Speaker 1: going to have bigger impact over time.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, there are other programs that are out there, like
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  Speaker 2: Together for Supportive Cancer Care, the Billards, they do a
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  Speaker 2: great job, very similar to what we're doing. And for
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  Speaker 2: your viewers, if they don't know, here's what it is.
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  Speaker 2: It's like what we do at the Dempsey Center, we
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  Speaker 2: don't treat the disease. We treat the person in the family,
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  Speaker 2: the caregivers, anybody who's been impacted. We try to improve
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  Speaker 2: the quality of their lives through supportive care, which is,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: what is that? So we have it broken down into
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  Speaker 2: different categories of oncology, massage, acupuncture, Reiki, counseling, which is
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  Speaker 2: hugely important, not only for the patient themselves, but for
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  Speaker 2: the caregivers. We have a children's program, all of those.
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  Speaker 2: Those are our top sort of programs. We also work
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  Speaker 2: on nutrition, a lot of community outreach. Trying to get
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  Speaker 2: people to get in and get their testing is very
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  Speaker 2: important as well. So all these different aspects that we
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  Speaker 2: focus on And one of the things I learned from
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  Speaker 2: someone who said, look, my treatment is done and I
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  Speaker 2: may be cured, but I'm not healed. And that's when
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  Speaker 2: wraparound care comes in to really help on the emotional,
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  Speaker 2: social aspect of that. And that's what we're focusing on.
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  Speaker 1: You stayed in touch with me after Audra passed. So
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  Speaker 1: I think also, let's not forget, you also help support
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  Speaker 1: the families and the caregivers. You've got programming in that
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  Speaker 1: area too, right?
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  Speaker 2: Right. And through, you know, surviving, right, the aftermath of
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: losing a loved one is profound. And in my experience,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: it comes in waves. First, you're in shock, you're in
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: relative denial, and then you'll have something where you're just
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: walking down the street or it's a smell or it's
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  Speaker 2: an image. that triggers you and you go into a
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  Speaker 2: profound sense of sadness and sorrow of loss. And that's
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  Speaker 2: important to talk about and to move through those emotions
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  Speaker 2: and to be in an environment with a professional who
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  Speaker 2: can help you with that to move forward.
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  Speaker 1: Well, how did your mom's diagnosis and treatment shape what
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  Speaker 1: you and your sisters created? Let's go back and tell
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  Speaker 1: us how this all started and happened and who had
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  Speaker 1: the idea. Right.
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  Speaker 2: So my mom had, God, she had over 12 reoccurrences.
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  Speaker 2: And this is over a decade. It seemed like every
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  Speaker 2: two years it would come back. And she was diagnosed
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  Speaker 2: with ovarian cancer.
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  Speaker 1: That's right.
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  Speaker 2: And it was right when I took my then girlfriend,
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: now wife, back to Maine to meet my mother. And
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  Speaker 2: it was like, it was really odd because my mom
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  Speaker 2: was always on the go, always very active, always outdoors.
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  Speaker 2: And she wasn't herself. And I couldn't understand it. And
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  Speaker 2: then the next day when I left, we got a
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  Speaker 2: call in the car heading back to New York for Maine.
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  Speaker 2: that my mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She
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  Speaker 2: had a huge tumor the size of a grapefruit, and
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  Speaker 2: they were going to have to remove it immediately. Unfortunately,
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  Speaker 2: before she got in to have it removed, it had burst,
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  Speaker 2: and it became very challenging from that moment on over
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  Speaker 2: the next 14 years. And my sister, who worked in
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  Speaker 2: the hospital, it was easier in some ways for her
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  Speaker 2: because she could help my mother navigate a lot of
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  Speaker 2: the issues that you come up with, with doctor's appointments,
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  Speaker 2: understanding the information that the doctor gives you, But I,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: being on the West Coast and working at that time,
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  Speaker 2: it was very hard for me to feel useful. That's
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  Speaker 2: kind of how it all started. Like, what could I do?
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  Speaker 2: And then around the time that Grey's Anatomy started breaking,
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  Speaker 2: I became a spokesman for the Breakaway Foundation. from cancer
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: initiative that Amgen put on. And that's when I was
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  Speaker 2: exposed to integrative medicine or wraparound care is what we
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  Speaker 2: call it today. And I was like, this is absolutely
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  Speaker 2: what my mother needs. She doesn't want a lot of help.
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  Speaker 2: She wants to stay active. She wants to go to work.
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  Speaker 2: She wants to feel useful. But a lot of these
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  Speaker 2: programs could help her. And that's how it started, was
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  Speaker 2: initially to help my mother. And I called my sister
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  Speaker 2: and I said, is there anything in our community that's
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  Speaker 2: like this? And she's like, let me look, but I
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  Speaker 2: don't think so. That was sort of the catalyst to
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  Speaker 2: start the center.
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  Speaker 1: Is that one of the ways you're set apart from
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  Speaker 1: other programs? Because I feel like one of the things
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  Speaker 1: we both come from small towns. My mom got diagnosed
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  Speaker 1: with lung cancer. I felt a little helpless, right? Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: In California and not able to help as much and
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: access to care in that kind of small town world.
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  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Is not what you get maybe in the bigger cities.
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  Speaker 1: So I think one of the things and reasons Audra
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  Speaker 1: got involved in it was after she was diagnosed was, hey,
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  Speaker 1: how do I help other patients get the kind of
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  Speaker 1: care I was able to get access to in my
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  Speaker 1: bigger city? And that was why your center was quite
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  Speaker 1: appealing to her to get involved in.
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  Speaker 2: Right. I think we're seeing certainly now these medical deserts,
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  Speaker 2: certainly in rural communities all around America, and certainly with
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  Speaker 2: this current administration, the devastation that they're creating with healthcare,
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  Speaker 2: that these alternative approaches, I mean, we've just been going
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  Speaker 2: with the traditional approach, but you need to do both simultaneously.
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  Speaker 2: Healthcare is about human interaction as well. And if you
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  Speaker 2: feel good emotionally about And physically, that helps you with
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  Speaker 2: your stamina and your approach to combating this horrible disease
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  Speaker 2: and what you're up against when you're getting these treatments.
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  Speaker 2: And I think this was a relatively new concept. And surprisingly,
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  Speaker 2: it's rare to see centers like ours, although there are
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  Speaker 2: out there. There are a number of them that are
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  Speaker 2: out there. And they start in a similar way, like
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  Speaker 2: as a family member has been diagnosed and they want
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  Speaker 2: to do something, and this is how they get started.
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  Speaker 2: It's very hard to continue that on once that individual
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  Speaker 2: has passed and the memory soon fades. So how do
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  Speaker 2: you keep it on track? You have to have the
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  Speaker 2: right team in place to do that. But it was really...
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  Speaker 2: What could you do in your community? Like we can
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  Speaker 2: do a lot more in our own backyards. We don't
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  Speaker 2: have to look nationally. What can we do in our
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  Speaker 2: community to make a difference? No matter whether it's cancer,
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  Speaker 2: whatever it is, what is the need in your community
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  Speaker 2: and how can you fulfill that need if possible? And
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  Speaker 2: that's sort of our approach with the center. There are
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people, lung cancer, breast cancer, colon cancer
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  Speaker 2: in Maine. And these services now, because of the word
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  Speaker 2: of mouth of patients coming through and telling other people,
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  Speaker 2: We're expanding in our reach and understanding for people. They're
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  Speaker 2: seeking out our treatments. And that's a good thing. I
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  Speaker 2: just wish we could reach more people.
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  Speaker 1: You started it how long ago?
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  Speaker 2: God, we started it, I think, in 2008.
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  Speaker 1: Right. So what was it like then and how is
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  Speaker 1: it different now?
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  Speaker 2: Well, we started off in a very small room with
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  Speaker 2: not as many programs. And now we've evolved to, I
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  Speaker 2: would say, we're probably about 15 or 16 different programs
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  Speaker 2: that we have there. And then we simply ask the question,
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  Speaker 2: how can we make your life better? What is your need?
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  Speaker 2: What are you worried about? And we listen, give that person,
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  Speaker 2: that family agency in directing us in what they need,
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  Speaker 2: which is very important. And we give them, more importantly,
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  Speaker 2: the time to listen. And I think in a lot
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  Speaker 2: of treatment, you're coming in, the doctor is overwhelmed with
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  Speaker 2: the amount of patients he's got to service or she's
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  Speaker 2: got to service, and you don't have the time. And
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  Speaker 2: we make sure that we have enough time to listen,
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  Speaker 2: and that's key. And what now is just, we have
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  Speaker 2: a better organization from top to bottom, an incredible board
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  Speaker 2: that have all been impacted, who are incredibly passionate about
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  Speaker 2: our crusade, if you will, or our ambitions, and we're
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  Speaker 2: building it in a way that has a strong foundation
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  Speaker 2: for growth and stability. And because our services are at
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  Speaker 2: no cost, it means we have to work very hard
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: at our fundraising to be able to do it. And
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  Speaker 2: we wouldn't be able to do it without individual donors
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  Speaker 2: who year after year come back bringing in incredible amounts
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  Speaker 2: of money, as well as local businesses and And we
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  Speaker 2: are the custodians of that. We are there to make
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  Speaker 2: sure that those services are provided in a very professional, kind,
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  Speaker 2: humane way.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Why is offering it at no cost kind of a non-negotiable?
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: Currently, with people losing their insurance right now, they can
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: burn through that very quickly. And it is financially devastating
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  Speaker 2: for so many families. And this is just one less
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: thing for them to worry about. And I hope we
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  Speaker 2: can continue to do that. There are around 10,000 newly
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: diagnosed people every year in the state of Maine. Our
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: goal is to reach every one of them in time.
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  Speaker 2: We are servicing about 3,500 people a year right now.
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  Speaker 2: And our goal is to reach everybody. As soon as
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: they are diagnosed, we are there holding their hand side
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  Speaker 2: by side, walking them through their entire journey. They themselves,
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  Speaker 2: the patient and the families themselves. That's our goal.
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  Speaker 1: And that's a lot of people, 3,500, but there's so
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  Speaker 1: many more affected. I was at ASCO. You hear the statistics.
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  Speaker 1: Younger and younger people are getting cancer.
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  Speaker 2: Well, look at colon cancer for an issue right now.
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  Speaker 2: We're seeing more and more people diagnosed with colon cancer
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  Speaker 2: earlier than we ever have before. And that's why you
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: team up with different programs. Like SHIELD is doing a
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  Speaker 2: great thing with their blood tests now because the gold standard,
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: of course, is colonoscopies. But it's literally a pain in
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: the ass to do. It's time consuming. If you can
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  Speaker 2: get past the barrier and say, look, you need to
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: go check this out. Do you have a family history?
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  Speaker 2: Understanding your family history. Talk to your parents, your grandparents.
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  Speaker 2: Know what's going on. And then talk to your doctor
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  Speaker 2: and go, can I do this blood test? And, you know,
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  Speaker 2: I know I'm like 35, I'm 40. We know we
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: need to do it before we're 50 now. The data
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  Speaker 2: is very clear on that. The American Cancer Foundation has
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: come out recently supporting this as something that should be done.
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  Speaker 2: And we need to stay active. All of these things apply, right?
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  Speaker 2: So it's part of our toolbox to have an understanding
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: of what's out there, what's available to be able to
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: communicate that to our community.
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  Speaker 1: And you're partnering with Shield, right? For full disclosure to everyone,
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  Speaker 1: we're both partnering. They're a client of ours as well.
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  Speaker 1: So thanks for that work. But is that sort of
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  Speaker 1: how you sustain this no charge facility? That's how you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: kind of pay for it, isn't it? By partnering with
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  Speaker 1: corporate partners since that's a big audience.
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  Speaker 2: We have a bunch of partnerships. It's almost like PBS
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: in the sense of we have the Dempsey Challenge, which
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: will be September 19th, which is an event to get
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: people active because we know if we're healthy and we're active,
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  Speaker 2: we have a much better chance. if we have a
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: family history of combating this terrible disease, right? So it
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: gets people organized. We get them on a bike or
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: if they want to walk or they want to run,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I'm walking. That's how we raise a lot of money.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: And then we have the corporate sponsorship and then the
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: local businesses step up and make it possible for us
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: to be able to do that.
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  Speaker 1: And you partner with diagnostic companies, pharma companies, and would
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: partner more for this cause. And you're certainly out there
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  Speaker 1: advocating for rural communities to get more of these types
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: of services. Is your partnership center providing any services to
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  Speaker 1: people outside the state yet? Or where do we go
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  Speaker 1: from here on that? We are.
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  Speaker 2: And I think one of the things that came out
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: of COVID was our virtual program where we can reach
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: people out of the state. So I think we're hitting
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  Speaker 2: like 32 different states and four countries now. So yes,
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  Speaker 2: we have the ability to reach people.
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  Speaker 1: So this could grow even bigger, right?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, virtually. I mean, a lot of the programs like
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  Speaker 2: the acupuncture and the Reiki, you have to be in person,
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: but we're hoping to connect other people like, okay, where
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: do you live? All right. We can direct you to
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: this facility that does the acupuncture. That's the goal. And
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: the biggest need really now is the counseling. That is
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: our biggest program and being able to schedule enough people
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: in a timely manner to be able to reach them effectively.
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  Speaker 1: Which services do you think have the biggest impact?
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  Speaker 2: Basically, the counseling and the group therapy is huge. It's
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: very popular. Also, we're starting to see a lot of
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: people taking a lot of positive benefits away from the
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: acupuncture and how it prevents pain and certainly all of
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: the issues that come up with chemotherapy.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, my wife got a ton of benefit from that.
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  Speaker 1: And I know that was when you guys first talked,
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  Speaker 1: it was like immediate. She got it. And because of
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the many things that you all do, but just The
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: concept of Reiki in a small town just trips me out.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: It's like the fact that you can do that and
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: that she had a shaman. And I really saw firsthand.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: So my story, seeing it firsthand, the quality of life
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: she had was remarkable. I mean, we went to see
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: my daughter in Florence almost a month before she died.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: And she was out there walking around, and certainly you
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: couldn't have told that she was being treated for cancer,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: mainly because she did all these other things. And I
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  Speaker 1: think it's so impactful. You're a storyteller. Was there any
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: story that captures that for you? Is there like a
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: patient or two that were remarkably helped by your services?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, there are many stories. And it's amazing when you're
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: in the center and you're interacting with patients that That's
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: where you learn the most. And that's the most enjoyable
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: process for me. We get a lot out of the
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: board meetings and all of that and the planning and
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: the strategic stuff. But for me, that's where I learn
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  Speaker 2: the most and we see the benefit. There was a
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: woman who came in when her husband was being treated
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: at Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston. And she was
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: looking around and she just got off the elevator. I'm like,
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: can I help you? What can I do for you?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: And she goes, oh, I'm just looking around. I just
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: want to see what's happening here. I'm like, OK, let
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: me show you around. I'll take you around. And I
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: started to get to know her. And I was like,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: what brings you in today? you know, other than wanting
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: to know. And she goes, oh, my husband is getting treatment.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, why don't you bring him over after?
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: And she goes, no, no, no, he doesn't want to
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: come over. I'm like, oh, really? Did you ask him why?
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And after a little bit, she goes, you know, I
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: think for him, if he steps through the door, he
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: has to admit to himself that he has cancer. And
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: that really hit me. And I was like, wow, okay,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: what can we do to help him? Because here are
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: all the services that we provide. These are the benefits
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: from those services. What can we do to help you?
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Because we have counseling here as a caregiver. That's a
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: lot of responsibility. A lot of people don't understand the
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: pressure that you're under, that you have to be strong,
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: that you have to be perfect. And you can't show
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: your emotion because it's hard for you to do that
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: because you don't want to burden your husband. No, no, no,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm more worried about him.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: So eventually she got him to come over and it
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: was a breakthrough because then he really opened up and
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: then embraced it fully. And you could see this light
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: open up inside of him where he just started relaxing
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: because it wasn't just another doctor's appointment. It was a
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: place that was warm and inviting and humane. Not that
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: these doctors aren't, but it's a different situation when you're
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: in a clinical environment and when you come into our space.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: And that's how it should be. Healthcare is about humanity
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: and about compassion and empathy. And people feel that, and
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: that's part of the healing property. Another moment where a
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: woman was just concerned about, and this is how rural
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Maine is, she didn't have enough wood to keep the
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: fireplace going and the stoves in her home. And I
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: remember myself and Jim, another board member, I was like, Jim,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I've got enough wood at my place. Why don't we
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: get a pickup truck and just dump off four or
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: five quarts for her so she doesn't worry? And it's like,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: how can you eliminate the fear and the anxiety that
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: really makes a big difference. And little gestures like that,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: little things like that, when you listen, that can make
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: a big difference.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Right. And I guess what we can all learn is
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: that it doesn't take that much.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: No, it's just small things that make the biggest impact.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Right. That's the reason I picked the healing garden as
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: the way to support, because that to me exemplified the
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: way Audra came at it. It's like she just never
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: accepted cancer as a death sentence and ultimately decided, I'm
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: going to live with this and I'm going to live.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: And have you found that that's one of the big
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: impacts you guys make? You help people live with it,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: not die from it, but live with it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they live with it. They come to terms with it.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: They work through it. They feel it. And I think
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: this is why the counseling is so vitally important for
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: people to open up in a safe environment. to really
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: talk about it. And also, too, I think for my mother,
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: she felt a tremendous amount of guilt for surviving as
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: long as she did when she went through treatment with
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: so many people who didn't make it. That when we have,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: we pair people in a sort of a mentor program
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: where you have a diagnosed person who's been through treatment,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: meaning someone who's recently diagnosed, and that connection is profound.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: And it's healing for both patients, which is really remarkable.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: And they go into the healing garden. The healing garden
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: was something that I discovered when I was in Boston,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: when my mom was treated. It was a place for
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: people to go when your loved one is being treated
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: to reflect. And it was a calm, tranquil, safe environment
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: with a great view of the city. And we wanted
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: to capture that again so that we had a place
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: where people could just sit and feel and allow it
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: to move through them.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you really did. That place is amazing. Thanks for
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: letting us do it. And I'm excited to come visit
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: and see how it's evolved and developed. How has your
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: incredible career in acting that you've had and racing at
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: the highest level shaped how you go at the Dempsey Center,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: you know, and lead it? And how do you prioritize
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: it all? Where does it fit?
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's interesting. It's a question of trying
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: to find the balance. So in the car, you're trying
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: to find the setup and you're also working with your
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: engineer and you have to have the right team and
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the right chassis and all those things. So you take
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: those basic principles. So when we're building out the program,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: we realized very early on that both my sister Mary
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: and I did not have the entire skill set that
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: we needed. We had the idea and we got it going.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: And this is where a lot of these smaller foundations
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: start to fall apart is because you have to bring
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: in people who understand how to run a nonprofit. You
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: have to bring in a board. You have to have
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: the right team. You have to have the professionals around you.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: And I think through the racing certainly is how do
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: you develop your team? How do you get the right
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: team in place to be able to sustain this? And
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: then for me, staying visible enough to bring enough attention
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: to it to use my platform in a positive way.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Because fame itself is not that satisfying. It's quite empty.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: But if you can do something positive with it and
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: you work with other people for a cause greater than yourself,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: that's why we're here. That is ultimately the meaning of life.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Because there's nothing more enjoyable and more satisfying than that.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: You have to have purpose.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. And I, you know, having purpose, right,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: is so important. And you're applying it. I somehow feel
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: this is your biggest priority.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Well, the older you get, it's harder to have the
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: amount of energy because you, I've got A family, three
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: kids that are now in their 20s going into the world.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: We had gone through COVID. We had a lot of
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: issues that a lot of parents had struggled with. They've
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: been home and you're trying to balance work and your
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: individual life as well as your life within your marriage
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: and all of these things. And something will have to
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: be sacrificed. So it's a question of, okay, you try
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: to keep every train on the right track, moving in
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: the right direction. And it's really about finding the right
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: team and allowing the people to take control. and be
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: there and monitor the vision and to go, this is
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: our North Star. This is where we're going and keep
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: people going in that direction. But once you put your
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: team in place, get out of the way and let
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: them do their job. And if you hire people correctly
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: and you empower them to make decisions and you don't micromanage,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: then you're going to really see people take authorship and
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: they're going to take ownership and they're going to take
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: you to the next level. And that's the challenge because
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: sometimes you'll find someone that doesn't quite work out and
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: you have to make a quick decision and change it.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So you could be over here. I can be on
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: location and I'm not going to be able to be
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: in every board meeting or be in every meeting. So
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: I have to trust the people that are there and
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: then get the feedback. And if there's a problem, then
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I've got to put that aside and then focus on
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: correcting that problem. That's the challenge of how do you
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: allocate your attention and your time to be able to
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: keep all the balls in the air?
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like you have a good handle on it.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I know Audra's best friend came on the board. She's
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: super capable and I know will be a big help.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: And I think That speaks to the type of quality
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you're looking for. So are you looking to expand the
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: board at all?
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, because people time out, right? So we have incredible
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: talent coming through, but then they'll be done and they're
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: going to move on to something else and they need
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: to step away because it is time consuming. It's also
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: you're investing a lot of emotion into people that you
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: may or may not see again. And that takes its toll.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: You know, we lose people that we get involved with,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: and it's devastating. And you have to have time to
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: recover and to heal from that in order to come
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: back and to be present again for the next person.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: And So it's making sure that we have the right bench,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: if you will, if you're going to use a sports analogy,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: a deep enough bench to be able to keep it
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: so that you're developing your team and the longevity of
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: that team and that you are training people from within
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: to take over those roles. That's really important. So what's
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: the legacy? How are you developing your talent? With Brandon,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: who's our new CEO, has come through with Kara, our previous,
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: he came through the program and now he's running the
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: program and doing it beautifully. And that's important. So how
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: deep is your bench? Are they there for the right reasons?
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Making sure that you're recruiting and you're bringing people into
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: the board that can commit to it, that have a
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: personal connection to the mission. You weed out people that
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be there. And that's the real challenge.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: And they're all... making contributions or helping to raise money
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: through the Dempsey Challenge, which has created its own community.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: It's really incredible.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Well, then you have your alumni, right? So that's the
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: important thing, is you stay in touch with your alumni.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: And people will cycle through. And then we've had one person, Carrie,
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: she went away for about five years and then came
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: back through for another five and then left again. And
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: then they're out spreading the gospel, if you will, of
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: what we're doing. And the word of mouth is there.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: And then you have this extended group of people that
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: are your ambassadors talking about the work and connecting with
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: other like-minded centers and then directing them back to us
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: so that we have a bigger network of people. Like
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: the Biller, for example, and the work that they're doing
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: is incredible. And we've been partnering with them. And now
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: How do we write a paper that the medical community
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: can understand so that we can quantify the success of
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: these sort of abstract, if you will, programs that we're doing?
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: So how do you quantify the success of Reiki or
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: acupuncture or this and developing a program to do that?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: What about music? I mean, is that in movement? I mean,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: are those things? Because I'm in a program like that.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a movement program. So yes, we do
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: all of that as well. It was one of the
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: other programs that I didn't mention, but yeah. Health and movement,
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: all of those things. It's very important for people to
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: bone density. We talk about all the time as you
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: get older, right? Be able to move around. And the
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: more active you are, the better you are emotionally. So
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: we have yoga, depending on where you are in your treatment.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: And also the center and the challenge help people get going.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: And people want to get together now. We've gone from
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: this isolated environment. I don't want to be around anybody
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: because of COVID, but now people are really wanting a
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: sense of community and they want to be together and
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: they want to be training or practicing yoga together in
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: the same room or stretch classes. It depends on what
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: that individual wants when we sort of go from there.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: For people that want to get involved in a challenge,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: where do they go?
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Go to the DempseyCenter.org and then you can find out
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: all the information there on our website. And also we
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: have a nutrition program too. Like there's another thing to,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: one of your questions is like, this woman came up,
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: she goes, I know it's exactly, it's what I'm eating.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: It's what I am eating. I know it is. That's important.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: It's like a patient should listen to their instincts. So
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I got her in touch with Judy, our nutritionist, and
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: they put a program together where she was learning how
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: to basically feed herself again in a healthy way. And
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: that was really quite satisfying. And she knew. And that's
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: the thing. It's like you as a patient, listen to yourself.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: You're your best doctor. Listen to your instincts.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: You're really hands-on, right? I mean, you really do the things.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: You model it.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Yes. I wish I could be more hands-on. I'm trying
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: to keep all these other things that I need. I
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: have different responsibilities. But when I'm there, I am trying
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: to be as present and as focused as possible because
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: those are the moments I learn the most that will
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: inform the next three or four years of what we're
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: going to be doing and trying to build out for programs.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you could do it any other way. No, no.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: And it's so moving, right? And I run into people
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: like if I'm in the supermarket when I'm back home
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: and someone will come up to me and we'll have
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: a conversation and we're just kind of walking down the
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: aisle shopping together. And it's a beautiful thing. It's a
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: great thing to be recognized for that work than the
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: other stuff that I do. And I think it really
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: is life-fulfilling. We see what we need to do as
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: a society and we're seeing what shouldn't be done as
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: a society right now.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Well, you gotta model it or people won't follow it.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: So you seem to be, I know you mentioned aging,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: but you seem to defy the gravity of aging. What
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: are some ways you try to keep yourself healthy for
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: this cause?
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I walk every day. Here's the thing, and my mother
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: used to do this, is my wife and I, we
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: get up, we have our morning ritual, and then we
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: go for a hike. And this is a way for
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: her to sort of let go of a lot of
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: emotion and to be able to communicate about what she's feeling.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: And as we're exercising, we're dissipating a lot of the
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: negative energy through exercise. And that's critical. I do have
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: a little issue with sweets. I like my sweets, so
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: I try not to go too far down that. I
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: stopped drinking. I don't drink anymore. I haven't had a
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: drink in over 10 years. And I think that's really important.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I use weights in a way that's appropriate for my
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: age so that I have the bone density going into
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: my later years so that I can be flexible. I
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: work on flexibility, just simple things like that. And if
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: you spend an hour to 20 minutes a day every
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: day and you make that part of your program, that's enough.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: And you watch what you eat. You eat your vegetables.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: You go in for your maintenance and your inspections, I guess.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: You talk to your doctor and you stay on all
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: of that and make sure you get your screenings done.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, all of those things apply.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: And what about sleep?
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I find that now that my kids are at
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: the house, so I'm not worried about when they're getting
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: in at 12 o'clock or not in high school. Those
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: final years are a bit rough, but I go to
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: bed the same time every night and I get up
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: around the same time every morning now. So sleep, we've
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: seen the studies on that. It's very important, certainly for
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: your brain and for your whole emotional makeup. If you
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: get enough sleep, it's much better for you.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I like the hike every day. That's a big one.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just being in nature or getting on an assault
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: bike or something, anything you can do, at least 20 minutes,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: you got to do it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: 100%. So finally, since this is Get Real, what are
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: you getting real about right now, personally or professionally?
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I'm focusing on one thing at a time. Like right now,
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: we're going into season two of Memory of a Killer.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I had other shows and other things to go do.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: And I was like, you know what? No, I'm going
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: to spend this period of time with my wife and
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: work on my relationships and be available for my kids.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I can't do any racing this year, which is unfortunate,
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: but I still am very active with Porsche, so I'm
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: off to go do an event with them and with
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: TAC Warrior, and not adding too much to my plate.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: It's really being thoughtful about how much energy I have
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: and applying the energy in the right places where I'm
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: totally present. And it took me a long time to
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: learn that because when you have a lot of opportunities
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: coming in, you want to take everything. But I'd rather
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: just focus on one or two things at a time
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: and do that 100% and not overextend myself. I feel
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: much better. And then I'm much more excited about going
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: back to work. And I'm ready to do that because
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: I know I've got everything over here taken care of.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Like we said, prioritization is really important. And I think
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: part of how you stay healthy for the long haul,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: get easier as you get older. So you got to
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: really get your shit together.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: You have to stay on it. And that's the thing,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: because I've noticed if I've taken... any period of time off,
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: it's that much harder to get back to where I stopped.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: In your youth, you can bounce back really quickly. And yes,
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: if you have the muscle memory, you can get back there,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: but it's going to take you maybe a month or
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: two months to get back to it. You can put
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: the weight on very quickly if you're indulging. You're like, ah,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: this doesn't feel good. I don't want this. I want
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: to feel strong. I want to feel active. I don't
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: want to feel lethargic.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: So you're not medicating and doing all the things a
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: lot like The peptides and the hormones? No, I don't.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I just do it the old-fashioned way, and that's the
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: way to sustain it.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Love it. Patrick, thanks for coming on.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I'm glad we finally got a chance to do this.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Look, it made such a difference in Audra's life. to
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: have that purpose. As she said, cancer is a gift
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: wrapped in barbed wire. And it was such a great
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: way for her to channel what she was going through.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure so many others would and could and do.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: And I see that with the Dempsey Challenge. So I'm
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing you in September and doing my
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: walk in her memory and for all those that we
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: can help going forward.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: And if you need anything, let us know, okay?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I know you always say that and I really appreciate it.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I know you're there. It's really good to know. Anyway,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: say hi to Jill and the family and congrats on
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: second season.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: All the best.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Take care, everybody.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone. Thanks for watching. I really appreciate that you
• 31:38
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