Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson Crowd Work Pack_ Cincinnati PT 1
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Say in sign language. Yeah.
- 0:05Speaker 2: Yeah. That's it. How racist is that?
- 0:10Speaker 3: You think it would be complicated to say that?
- 0:33Speaker 2: Ma'am, we got to talk because you're going crazy. You
- 0:35Speaker 2: haven't said 3,000 words since I've been up here. Who?
- 0:42Speaker 2: That Muslim man ain't worried about me. That's telling bean pies.
- 0:48Speaker 2: I see you, the Honorable Bishop. I want to talk
- 0:51Speaker 2: to you, sir, ma'am. What's your name? Chef Shanice? Well,
- 0:56Speaker 2: you've been cooking up some paragraphs. What you been talking about? No, he,
- 1:03Speaker 2: that was one moment. You've been talking the whole time.
- 1:08Speaker 1: Okay, what'd he say?
- 1:14Speaker 2: Who lying? Y'all both doing I'm lying arms. Both of
- 1:18Speaker 2: them like, I believe the nigga in the bow tie.
- 1:22Speaker 2: He's dressed like he make chicken real good. He looking away.
- 1:29Speaker 1: I can't get him. That's the rules. But can I
- 1:31Speaker 1: talk to you? How long you been hooping out the
- 1:33Speaker 1: university since that? Okay. What you be cooking up? Calm down.
- 1:52Speaker 1: So you doing.
- 1:52Speaker 2: Let me get this right. French with a southern twist?
- 1:57Speaker 2: Southern France? Or like our southern?
- 2:00Speaker 4: No.
- 2:01Speaker 2: So you making cornbread crepes? You was in Atlanta for
- 2:07Speaker 2: a little while? If I had to guess, a region.
- 2:12Speaker 2: If I had... Is your ears plugged up? Because I
- 2:16Speaker 2: don't think you leave a room for me to say
- 2:18Speaker 2: nothing back. She talking the whole time. I just said,
- 2:21Speaker 2: when I go outside, I make my friends and say
- 2:23Speaker 2: what the God did about it. She didn't even breathe in.
- 2:27Speaker 2: Like a hummingbird, all out. Now, I believe in small business.
- 2:33Speaker 2: Let's talk about what you do. So if anybody want
- 2:35Speaker 2: to eat some cornbread crepes or some goddamn deep fried snails.
- 2:40Speaker 1: Tell me what you're doing, baby. What's the food?
- 2:50Speaker 2: No, tell me. If I eat something and start talking
- 2:54Speaker 2: like this, I'll be mad to mother.
- 2:56Speaker 1: I like this food.
- 2:59Speaker 2: It made me talk too much. Listen, when they got
- 3:04Speaker 2: a potluck and you bring one dish. What?
- 3:12Speaker 1: I don't think you heard me.
- 3:17Speaker 2: That's gay, right? I bring the macaroni and cheese and
- 3:22Speaker 2: all the meats. Like, what the fuck?
- 3:25Speaker 1: We know you got all the meats, baby. He said,
- 3:30Speaker 1: she's Arby's. This your woman?
- 3:41Speaker 2: Outstanding.
- 3:42Speaker 1: She's been laughing at you, everything I've said. She knew.
- 3:47Speaker 1: Who bought this ticket? Who set this up? It's happening,
- 3:50Speaker 1: but who? You bought the tickets?
- 3:54Speaker 2: Okay, and how long y'all been doing this? So we've
- 3:57Speaker 2: been together for eight years.
- 4:01Speaker 1: How much has she said in them eight years?
- 4:06Speaker 2: I know you be at house parties like, bitch, yes,
- 4:09Speaker 2: god damn.
- 4:10Speaker 1: Why don't you eat some of that shit you cook?
- 4:13Speaker 2: God damn! That in the corner talking about nothing. This
- 4:17Speaker 2: is a brick. Look at the size of this brick.
- 4:19Speaker 2: This is a wonderful brick. It's not the same color
- 4:20Speaker 2: as the other bricks. It got black dots on this brick.
- 4:23Speaker 2: It's a wonderful brick. Oh, my God. It's not just
- 4:25Speaker 2: one end. It's two ends. It's a little end and
- 4:27Speaker 2: a little end, but this is the end that I
- 4:29Speaker 2: prefer because this end is like, this is like, as
- 4:32Speaker 2: it's the end end. I just like that. Don't repeat me,
- 4:34Speaker 2: white boy, because I heard him say that earlier. And
- 4:36Speaker 2: why am I talking so much during the middle of
- 4:39Speaker 2: a goddamn comedy show like everybody didn't pay the same
- 4:41Speaker 2: goddamn money?
- 4:47Speaker 1: You talked a lot. You ain't even saying, you ain't
- 4:51Speaker 1: even apologetic.
- 4:52Speaker 2: She don't give a.
- 4:55Speaker 1: Fuck about y'all money. She's like, I'm going to have
- 4:57Speaker 1: this conversation. This is a podcast. I've been podcasting with her.
- 5:01Speaker 2: Let me fuck somebody over here and you hush for
- 5:03Speaker 2: the next 20 minutes. God damn. I would like to
- 5:08Speaker 2: talk to this table right here.
- 5:10Speaker 1: They've got all the diversity right here. We got the
- 5:12Speaker 1: lady in the Cheetah.
- 5:12Speaker 2: Girls outfit and then We got this interracial swirl right here.
- 5:17Speaker 2: Y'all look good together.
- 5:18Speaker 1: Hold on. Baby, you still talking.
- 5:20Speaker 2: You heard me, right? I don't know if you learned
- 5:22Speaker 2: to whisper in mud or what, but your whisper.
- 5:24Speaker 1: Is loud as a motherfucker. She whispered, you know what
- 5:28Speaker 1: I'm saying?
- 5:28Speaker 2: I'm about to go. She mean it got everybody killed
- 5:31Speaker 2: in a robbery.
- 5:33Speaker 1: We don't get under bed. Everybody shut the fuck up
- 5:35Speaker 1: until they leave.
- 5:36Speaker 5: You think they stealing the house? I don't think they
- 5:40Speaker 5: stealing the house. Oh, shit, they're going for it right there.
- 5:43Speaker 5: That means that they're standing right here by us. That's
- 5:45Speaker 5: a nice shoe. I see all kind of shoes.
- 5:47Speaker 2: I like Adidas more than I like Nikes because I
- 5:49Speaker 2: like the three things instead of the one check. This
- 5:51Speaker 2: is just how I get down because that's a French
- 5:53Speaker 2: and a Southern shoe right there. Oh, my God, they
- 5:56Speaker 2: got me. They got me. Come out from under there, bitch.
- 6:00Speaker 2: They got us both. I didn't even know I was
- 6:05Speaker 2: under here. Talking ass. Now, I would like to talk
- 6:10Speaker 2: to This table here, is everybody all friends? Who know who?
- 6:15Speaker 2: The couple, it's just y'all two? And then y'all are
- 6:17Speaker 2: friends with them? Don't even know. You should get acquainted.
- 6:20Speaker 2: Y'all all look like y'all been friends since high school
- 6:22Speaker 2: or something. And what about the white women behind you,
- 6:25Speaker 2: the one with her hand on her face? Mother, daughter,
- 6:28Speaker 2: y'all look the same age. You a sexy ass mom.
- 6:32Speaker 2: Stand up, let me see you.
- 6:33Speaker 3: Give me a little, give me a little, give me
- 6:40Speaker 3: a little spin.
- 6:42Speaker 2: Seen a lot of asses sat across that table when
- 6:44Speaker 2: it went around there. That motherfucker was sitting on that
- 6:47Speaker 2: table like, let me just spin around real quick.
- 6:50Speaker 1: Goddamn.
- 6:51Speaker 2: What's your name? Shana? Oh, you still. That's a.
- 6:55Speaker 1: You got a shoplifter name. And how young are you, Shana?
- 7:00Speaker 2: 39? Well, goddamn. How old is the baby? 22? Damn,
- 7:08Speaker 2: my calculator left. You were born pregnant? I don't know
- 7:15Speaker 2: the numbers. She was pregnant when she was born. Like
- 7:19Speaker 2: a goddamn Russian doll. It's a girl.
- 7:23Speaker 1: With a girl inside. And who you with?
- 7:26Speaker 2: Is it just y'all two? Okay, have you been acquainted
- 7:29Speaker 2: with the other people? Okay, what is her name in
- 7:32Speaker 2: the purple hair? Shut up, Shayna. You don't know her.
- 7:37Speaker 2: She's like, I know she, um.
- 7:39Speaker 5: Okay.
- 7:41Speaker 2: Okay.
- 7:42Speaker 1: Well, I want to meet her.
- 7:42Speaker 2: She got the shiny shit on and everything. He got
- 7:44Speaker 2: his hot orange. I know you put that on for
- 7:46Speaker 2: me to see you. What's your name, brother? Tony.
- 7:50Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. And this is your woman with
- 7:51Speaker 1: the purple hair and the diamonds. Best friend, Tony.
- 7:58Speaker 2: Tony, it's 2026. Are you gay, Tony?
- 8:02Speaker 1: Is she gay, Tony?
- 8:04Speaker 2: How long you been trying to fuck?
- 8:07Speaker 1: How long you been trying to fuck, Tony? How long, Tony?
- 8:13Speaker 1: been friends since school? When was that? About how many years?
- 8:21Speaker 2: How old are you now? You've been trying to for
- 8:25Speaker 2: 33 years? Have you even seen the has there ever
- 8:30Speaker 2: been a chance? What about Areola?
- 8:32Speaker 1: She ain't never just hopped out.
- 8:33Speaker 2: Of the shower?
- 8:33Speaker 1: She's like, oh my god, Tony, we're just such good friends.
- 8:36Speaker 2: You're like.
- 8:41Speaker 2: Ain't no way.
- 8:42Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
- 8:44Speaker 2: I don't think people can just be friends that long.
- 8:47Speaker 2: I just don't see it. Let's say 2.30.
- 8:56Speaker 1: In the morning, you drunk off Hennessy, you in your
- 8:58Speaker 1: room chilling.
- 9:00Speaker 2: It's hard. It just happened to me. Not regular. It
- 9:03Speaker 2: is shiny.
- 9:05Speaker 1: You can flick the side of it. You don't even
- 9:07Speaker 1: feel it. She kicked open the door.
- 9:17Speaker 2: I just want some and crawl in With her booty
- 9:21Speaker 2: up in your face What you gonna do Tony? Tony
- 9:27Speaker 2: Tony Tony go out of her for 11 seconds like I.
- 9:36Speaker 1: Oh, I want that bitch so long. Oh, I want
- 9:39Speaker 1: that bitch since I was five years old, man.
- 9:41Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
- 9:42Speaker 1: I want that bitch since I was shooting blanks, man.
- 9:47Speaker 2: She's like, Tony. You're my best friend, Tony. Y'all look
- 9:53Speaker 2: good together, man. Life too short to be bullshitting like this, man.
- 9:56Speaker 2: That's your person, bro. Go ahead and lean into that. Okay.
- 10:01Speaker 2: your person. Let me fuck with some more people. She
- 10:05Speaker 2: found someone to talk to. God damn. Pull a little
- 10:09Speaker 2: server like, I don't want to come over here no more.
- 10:13Speaker 1: What you ordering?
- 10:16Speaker 2: No, no. I got a drink right there. Can I
- 10:19Speaker 2: order her a drink? Can I get a double shot
- 10:21Speaker 2: of shh? I dare you. Just let her hear that. Now,
- 10:35Speaker 2: who are you doing sign language for, man? Huh? Come
- 10:44Speaker 2: up here with me so they can enjoy the show
- 10:46Speaker 2: this way. Huh? Huh?
- 10:51Speaker 1: You deaf too? Who's your person?
- 11:05Speaker 2: Where's your person?
- 11:09Speaker 5: Oh.
- 11:11Speaker 1: You don't even know who you're doing it for?
- 11:13Speaker 2: You don't gotta do it to me. I know. She's
- 11:19Speaker 2: not doing it. Fuck you, Nate. Right there? Yeah, she
- 11:29Speaker 2: fine as a motherfucker, Ann Depp. You can't even hear
- 11:33Speaker 2: me scream. I'm like.
- 11:36Speaker 4: Shit.
- 11:36Speaker 2: Shit. That's why they sat her next to her. Like,
- 11:45Speaker 2: this bitch gonna talk all night. We need somebody that
- 11:47Speaker 2: can't hear. What's your name? Aaliyah? Uh-uh, you said that wrong.
- 12:03Speaker 1: She was like, no, I'm sorry. Rule number three. She
- 12:09Speaker 1: can't hear me.
- 12:10Speaker 2: Fuck y'all.
- 12:12Speaker 1: I'll say whatever the fuck I want.
- 12:14Speaker 2: She's like, this is so fun.
- 12:17Speaker 1: What's her name?
- 12:19Speaker 2: John.
- 12:19Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. You can't hear either. I want
- 12:21Speaker 1: to know what her name is.
- 12:23Speaker 4: Her.
- 12:23Speaker 1: What's her name?
- 12:27Speaker 2: Still not right. Ari. Nice to meet you, Ari.
- 12:32Speaker 1: Who's Ari here with? Is it a table of deaf
- 12:34Speaker 1: people or is it just her? You speak? You do
- 12:38Speaker 1: a little bit? So this is, tell me what's going
- 12:59Speaker 1: on here. This a date?
- 13:02Speaker 2: This a date?
- 13:04Speaker 1: Oh, that's beautiful.
- 13:09Speaker 2: This y'all first date?
- 13:12Speaker 1: First what?
- 13:14Speaker 2: First comedy show. Oh man, we gotta make memories, man.
- 13:19Speaker 2: Y'all be already? Ask Ari so she can decide if
- 13:24Speaker 2: she wants to share that information. I don't know how
- 13:27Speaker 2: to do it with my hands. Ask Ari if they
- 13:30Speaker 2: be already. Yeah.
- 13:35Speaker 3: She said, this ain't even sign language. This is like
- 13:39Speaker 3: clock it. I know that. I know that's n *
- 13:44Speaker 3: * * a. Did y'all know that? This is how
- 13:46Speaker 3: you say n * * * a in sign language.
- 13:48Speaker 3: Say n * * * a in sign language. N
- 13:50Speaker 3: * * * a.
- 13:52Speaker 2: N * * * a. That's it. How racist is that?
- 13:59Speaker 2: You think it would be complicated to say n *
- 14:01Speaker 2: * * a like... They ain't got time. It's n
- 14:04Speaker 2: * * * a coming. Side leg is racist as fuck.
- 14:16Speaker 2: So y'all be smashing. That's on my bucket list. Not
- 14:21Speaker 2: your girl, but like a deaf girl. Most men, if
- 14:24Speaker 2: we just sat, if we were drunk in the garage
- 14:26Speaker 2: shooting pool, most men would be like, you know what?
- 14:34Speaker 1: Could you imagine?
- 14:36Speaker 2: You just give her all the, you're like, no!
- 14:38Speaker 5: No!
- 14:42Speaker 2: If I did it, that would be my sounds. I
- 14:44Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck she's going to be saying.
- 14:46Speaker 2: I know I'm going to be yelling, no! Fuck yeah.
- 14:50Speaker 1: I want me a little deaf love. How'd you meet her?
- 15:01Speaker 1: At the YMCA. She was just in there hooping?
- 15:04Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 15:11Speaker 1: You work for a company called Changing Lives.
- 15:14Speaker 2: Nonprofit. And you saw her and you were like, I'm
- 15:16Speaker 2: about to change her life. Yeah, y'all look good together, man.
- 15:22Speaker 2: I believe in you. Are you learning sign language or
- 15:25Speaker 2: you already got it all down? You're learning sign language
- 15:29Speaker 2: just so you can talk to your baby? Oh, my God.
- 15:34Speaker 1: Oh, that's the most romantic shit I've heard.
- 15:36Speaker 2: My dick jumped.
- 15:40Speaker 4: It did.
- 15:41Speaker 2: When he said that, I was.
- 15:47Speaker 4: Like.
- 15:47Speaker 2: That's so beautiful. Well, John, you can go back down there, man.
- 15:52Speaker 2: I feel that you're uncomfortable up here with me, but....
- 15:57Speaker 1: I just wanted her to look in my direction. She's
- 16:00Speaker 1: listening to the show but watching you. But when you're
- 16:02Speaker 1: up here, she's looking my way.
- 16:03Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? So she sees my faces
- 16:04Speaker 2: and your hands.
- 16:06Speaker 5: Nigga.
- 16:08Speaker 1: You didn't say the last word, John. You didn't hear it?
- 16:14Speaker 1: What'd I say?
- 16:17Speaker 2: He's like, ah, fuck that. You better not even sign
- 16:22Speaker 2: that shit. What the fuck, bro? Bro, seriously, you asked
- 16:27Speaker 2: me to say it. I just obliged. All right, let's
- 16:31Speaker 2: talk to Lamar Odom and Niecy Nash up here. Y'all
- 16:37Speaker 2: just dating because you ain't got no ring on?
- 16:39Speaker 1: What's up?
- 16:39Speaker 2: What's the story? We've been together for about a year now. Okay. Boyfriend, girlfriend?
- 16:45Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 16:46Speaker 2: You like her?
- 16:47Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 16:47Speaker 2: Even with this attitude? She just seems like she's underwhelmed
- 16:52Speaker 2: by life. Like nothing is impressive. What's your name, ma'am? Lynn. Lynn?
- 16:59Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, Lynn. And so, the way you
- 17:05Speaker 2: address would suggest.
- 17:07Speaker 1: You have an.
- 17:07Speaker 2: Outgoing, big personality. Because that shirt not supposed to have
- 17:11Speaker 2: the shoulder out. You pulled that out on your own.
- 17:15Speaker 2: That's a regular crew neck. You're like, today I'm going
- 17:17Speaker 2: to pull out my goddamn trapezoid. She got her whole
- 17:22Speaker 2: shoulder meat out. She can turn that sweater into a
- 17:25Speaker 2: Tarzan top, boy.
- 17:30Speaker 1: Lynn, what do you do? You a principal somewhere or something?
- 17:32Speaker 2: Because your face would suggest no nonsense. She's in charge
- 17:36Speaker 2: of something. What you in charge of, Lynn? The maintenance supervisor.
- 17:43Speaker 2: Of where? You manage all the trucks and trailers for
- 17:51Speaker 2: a mega trucking company? Damn.
- 17:57Speaker 1: Give me a hundred dollars.
- 17:59Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? And you drive trucks?
- 18:05Speaker 4: No.
- 18:06Speaker 1: How you meet her?
- 18:06Speaker 5: Oh, I've been knowing her since I was 17.
- 18:10Speaker 1: Is this one of them cities where everybody just.
- 18:15Speaker 1: That's crazy. You met her at the half-off sleeve store?
- 18:17Speaker 1: You was in school together?
- 18:21Speaker 2: No, no. I met her through a friend and we
- 18:24Speaker 2: started going bowling back when I was 17. Bowling? Okay.
- 18:28Speaker 2: Did she make expressions when she got strikes? She always
- 18:32Speaker 2: tried to beat me.
- 18:34Speaker 1: Did she beat you? Lynn, you ain't never beat her?
- 18:39Speaker 2: Let her beat you once so she can be like, woo!
- 18:42Speaker 2: You done beat the happiness out of her. Since she
- 18:45Speaker 2: was 17, she's never whooped you. And I'm looking for
- 18:48Speaker 2: her face to make an expression. She's like, man, I'm
- 18:50Speaker 2: a loser, bro. I can't even beat this big bald
- 18:53Speaker 2: head Lamar. I don't reject looking mother at anything. Let
- 18:56Speaker 2: her win something, man. You drinking, Lynn?
- 19:01Speaker 1: You don't drink?
- 19:03Speaker 2: Well, maybe that's something we need to adjust. Like, you
- 19:06Speaker 2: could use a shot of something. He was like, nigga.
- 19:13Speaker 2: Last time she got drunk, she tore the sleeves off
- 19:15Speaker 2: all her tops.
- 19:19Speaker 1: That's amazing. So you don't drink at all? Or like,
- 19:21Speaker 1: you had a bad night? Like, you know what?
- 19:23Speaker 2: Let me put this shit down.
- 19:25Speaker 1: You just never got into it?
- 19:27Speaker 2: He gives you Smirnoffs? You give her wine coolers? And
- 19:32Speaker 2: that's when she's like.
- 19:38Speaker 2: I had a Smirnoff. I'm going to pull my other
- 19:44Speaker 2: sleeve out. And so are you guys friends with this Mexican?
- 19:50Speaker 2: lady and this white man?
- 19:52Speaker 1: Okay. Y'all should get acquainted, man. No, I mean, be
- 19:56Speaker 1: her friend.
- 19:56Speaker 2: Because you guys are happy people, and she don't even
- 20:00Speaker 2: know how to smile for real.
- 20:03Speaker 1: And so what's your name, sweetheart? Nice to meet you, Maddie.
- 20:06Speaker 1: But you said you was Mexican, didn't you? A little bit.
- 20:11Speaker 2: Because Maddie ain't no Mexican girl now. I said that's
- 20:14Speaker 2: why I didn't holler the first time.
- 20:16Speaker 1: What are you, Mexican and?
- 20:17Speaker 5: White.
- 20:19Speaker 1: Damn, somebody else guessed.
- 20:21Speaker 2: White. Yeah, she's Mexican and white. She tells herself what
- 20:28Speaker 2: to clean up.
- 20:28Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Maddie. That's fucking crazy. She tells herself what
- 20:40Speaker 4: to clean up is crazy.
- 20:43Speaker 2: That's crazy.
- 20:46Speaker 1: And so, I like your little ad-libs. He's like, she's self-employed.
- 20:55Speaker 2: Clean that up.
- 20:56Speaker 1: She's both.
- 21:00Speaker 2: So what do you do, Maddie? I'm a nurse.
- 21:02Speaker 1: You're a nurse. Thank you for your services, man. People
- 21:05Speaker 1: need you. What kind of nurse are you?
- 21:09Speaker 2: Psych.
- 21:09Speaker 5: Psych?
- 21:11Speaker 2: You recognize this crazy a * * across the table
- 21:13Speaker 2: from you that don't make no facial expressions? She's crazy
- 21:16Speaker 2: as a a * *.
- 21:17Speaker 1: We don't know if she's.
- 21:18Speaker 2: Happy, sad, hit the lotto, legs on fire, busting a nut.
- 21:21Speaker 2: Her face is the same for everything. It's the best
- 21:26Speaker 2: day of my goddamn life. I'm so goddamn happy. I
- 21:30Speaker 2: ain't never been so happy before my life. I'm about
- 21:33Speaker 2: to bust. I just busted. She don't make no faces.
- 21:43Speaker 2: I'm getting close. Don't stop. There it is. Make a face, Lynn.
- 21:57Speaker 2: So what do you do, man? You got a nice
- 21:58Speaker 2: watch on. It would suggest you got a little revenue
- 22:00Speaker 2: in your life. Surgical technologist.
- 22:03Speaker 1: Surgical technologist. Never heard that one before. Sound made up.
- 22:07Speaker 2: A little bit.
- 22:10Speaker 1: What is it? We open up all the sterile stuff
- 22:14Speaker 1: for the surgery, send it to the surgeon. You be
- 22:17Speaker 1: in the room.
- 22:17Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 22:18Speaker 1: You got all this down.
- 22:19Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 22:20Speaker 1: You make sure it's sterilized and everything?
- 22:22Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Well, they sterilize it downstairs. We bring it up.
- 22:24Speaker 1: We open it. You just deliver it.
- 22:27Speaker 5: No, no.
- 22:28Speaker 2: I set everything up.
- 22:29Speaker 1: Delivery. So I set everything up.
- 22:33Speaker 2: Delivery.
- 22:35Speaker 1: And you hand it to the surgeon?
- 22:37Speaker 2: Delivery. Delivery.
- 22:41Speaker 1: Jimmy John's. Does that pay good money?
- 22:47Speaker 2: It's alright? You're going to graduate from delivery to DiGiorno?
- 22:54Speaker 1: You need to go ahead and get that.
- 22:55Speaker 2: Last little certification so you can be the person they
- 22:58Speaker 2: hand it to. You know what I'm saying?
- 23:04Speaker 1: Twelve more years?
- 23:05Speaker 2: You'll be alright.
- 23:06Speaker 1: You're a young man.
- 23:07Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 23:08Speaker 1: If you start today.
- 23:11Speaker 1: You'll be done soon. Do you want to be a doctor?
- 23:17Speaker 1: They got a lot of responsibility, huh?
- 23:22Speaker 2: You got family? That was a sweet answer, piece of
- 23:27Speaker 2: shit-ass bastard. I don't know, man. They work a lot.
- 23:30Speaker 4: I kind of just want to be home with my family.
- 23:32Speaker 4: He's a soft motherfucker. He's supposed to be out here
- 23:35Speaker 4: fucking bitching. Ain't going wrong on the streets.
- 23:39Speaker 2: Alright, so you got here in love. How long you
- 23:41Speaker 2: been in love that you sacrificed your dreams for her?
- 23:47Speaker 1: Just got married?
- 23:49Speaker 2: When?
- 23:52Speaker 1: Just recently?
- 23:54Speaker 2: October 4th? Damn.
- 23:56Speaker 1: Why October 4th? Damn.
- 24:04Speaker 2: You had to ask for vacation a year in advance?
- 24:08Speaker 2: You should quit. No, you need to do a job
- 24:14Speaker 2: for the Mexican side. You're doing a job for the
- 24:17Speaker 2: white side. Mexicans don't need no year in advance. They
- 24:20Speaker 2: be like, boss, I'm gone. I ain't no be here tomorrow.
- 24:27Speaker 2: You finish and roof yourself. I'm sorry. That's racist. But
- 24:32Speaker 2: there's only two of them. They can't whip me. She
- 24:36Speaker 2: knocked me out here, eat me, like, oh, goddamn. And
- 24:40Speaker 2: so what's your name, man? You're the biggest Mexican I've
- 24:42Speaker 2: ever seen in my life. Moe?
- 24:45Speaker 1: No.
- 24:46Speaker 2: Ain't nobody that big with just a two-letter name.
- 24:49Speaker 1: Don't nobody name no baby Moe.
- 24:51Speaker 2: Moses. Let my tacos go.
- 24:58Speaker 1: That's what's up.
- 25:00Speaker 2: You got a beautiful name. Don't shorten that to Mo.
- 25:02Speaker 2: Your name is Moses. That's straight out the Bible. Hell yeah.
- 25:08Speaker 2: I never met a Mexican named Moses. A lot of
- 25:11Speaker 2: Jesuses though. All your cousins is Jesus. Yeah.
- 25:18Speaker 1: So how'd you meet your queen? Y'all look good together.
- 25:23Speaker 2: Hey man, what just happened to your brain just now? No,
- 25:26Speaker 2: you jammed up, nigga. Ah, shit, I don't even know
- 25:29Speaker 2: this bitch.
- 25:31Speaker 1: This your woman, ain't it?
- 25:32Speaker 2: I was going to say something funny, but no, it's cool. No, actually,
- 25:37Speaker 2: I met her online on Facebook. You met her on Facebook? Yeah.
- 25:41Speaker 1: Recently or back when it was, like, dating or regular website?
- 25:45Speaker 2: Just regular, just friends. You just slid in her little shit, huh?
- 25:49Speaker 1: What'd he say?
- 25:50Speaker 2: Do you remember what he said? No. He was like,
- 25:52Speaker 2: you hungry?
- 25:56Speaker 1: He's so big, he answered himself. You hungry?
- 25:58Speaker 2: I mean, I could eat. Like, man, I'm going to
- 26:00Speaker 2: get her right back.
- 26:03Speaker 1: Are you hungry?
- 26:04Speaker 2: I could eat. Let's go. Yeah.
- 26:08Speaker 1: I like y'all, man.
- 26:09Speaker 2: And so you guys, out of all the couples I've met,
- 26:11Speaker 2: you guys got like the second best energy out of
- 26:13Speaker 2: all the couples. I want you to know that. Number
- 26:16Speaker 2: one is back there, orange and shiny shirt back there.
- 26:19Speaker 2: And they think they're friends. These motherfuckers need to bust
- 26:22Speaker 2: a nut together so bad.
- 26:23Speaker 1: That's crazy. You need help, huh?
- 26:27Speaker 2: Like, you don't know how to initiate it, because you've
- 26:28Speaker 2: been friends so long, huh? Like, if you give me $ 1, 000,
- 26:31Speaker 2: I'll put on a ski mask and run in your
- 26:33Speaker 2: room at gunpoint, like, put the dick in this bitch's pussy. Yeah. File!
- 26:38Speaker 2: Stop fucking this bitch right now!
- 26:41Speaker 1: Did you dodge a fake gun?
- 26:43Speaker 2: What the fuck? That's why he was like, oh, he's
- 26:46Speaker 2: pointing his fucking finger gun at me. This isn't real.
- 26:50Speaker 2: Chill out. You the police?
- 26:55Speaker 1: What do you do that you dodged a fake gun?
- 26:57Speaker 2: Twice.
- 26:57Speaker 5: Huh?
- 27:02Speaker 2: Tissue donation? From when you wipe your ass or like
- 27:07Speaker 2: skin tissue? What you talking about? Human tissue donation?
- 27:22Speaker 1: Oh, like when we're an organ donor.
- 27:23Speaker 2: But I do tissue.
- 27:27Speaker 1: Well, your epidermis is an organ. It's the biggest one
- 27:29Speaker 1: on us, right? And so people do it when we...
- 27:32Speaker 1: Do you take it off? Is there a permission slip?
- 27:39Speaker 2: Okay. She's telling the truth. It's the truth. You're just
- 27:44Speaker 2: a skin snatcher. What was it like when you were
- 27:50Speaker 2: on Epstein Island? Hey, is different skin worth more money?
- 28:01Speaker 4: No.
- 28:02Speaker 1: So all skin. He's taller than me. He don't got
- 28:05Speaker 1: more skin, so he's worth a little bit more than me.
- 28:07Speaker 2: It's a donation.
- 28:09Speaker 1: Yeah, but what do you do with it once you
- 28:11Speaker 1: get it? It goes to burn victims. Burn victims.
- 28:15Speaker 2: I ain't seen the proof of that yet. Everybody that
- 28:18Speaker 2: I've seen that look burnt look burnt. I ain't never
- 28:22Speaker 2: seen like a full recovery from that. They be like.
- 28:27Speaker 2: Whatever face they made when that fire hit them, they'd
- 28:29Speaker 2: be stuck forever.
- 28:38Speaker 1: You hungry?
- 28:41Speaker 2: I couldn't eat. I don't eat anywhere other than Burger King.
- 28:50Speaker 2: It's just... You'd be insensitive if you took a burn
- 28:57Speaker 2: victim to go get flame-boiled sandwiches.
- 29:03Speaker 1: Let's just go to McDonald's.
- 29:04Speaker 2: Goddamn. All right, so you collect the skin, and then
- 29:08Speaker 2: you do it. What do you put it in? Well,
- 29:08Speaker 2: I collect skin, bones, and parts.
- 29:14Speaker 1: And then do what with it?
- 29:15Speaker 2: Like if somebody blows on an Achilles.
- 29:18Speaker 4: Yeah? They use.
- 29:23Speaker 2: A donor to replace that. Huh. That pays good money, right?
- 29:26Speaker 2: You're the only human I ever met that does this shit.
- 29:29Speaker 2: Other than that motherfucker. That Texas Chainsaw Man. He found
- 29:38Speaker 2: a way to get paid for that. How did you
- 29:40Speaker 2: get into this? Were you like cutting up crickets as
- 29:42Speaker 2: a kid or something? We were running a photo booth company.
- 29:45Speaker 2: A what? A photo booth company. You were running a
- 29:50Speaker 2: photo booth company?
- 29:52Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 29:54Speaker 2: I'm going to just grab my drink because I just
- 30:01Speaker 2: feel like that's crazy to start out. You ran a
- 30:05Speaker 2: photo booth company and somehow that turned straight into cutting
- 30:08Speaker 2: skin off people? Okay, so you were running a photo
- 30:11Speaker 2: booth company at weddings and shit?
- 30:14Speaker 1: Okay. Did she ever cook at one of your weddings?
- 30:18Speaker 1: You would know.
- 30:19Speaker 2: She'd have been talking through the whole goddamn wedding. Okay,
- 30:23Speaker 2: so you were taking pictures of people and you're like, wow,
- 30:25Speaker 2: look at her skin. Your kids went to school with
- 30:34Speaker 2: somebody else and they knew your work schedule consisted of
- 30:37Speaker 2: open weekdays And they were like, hey man You want
- 30:42Speaker 2: to cut skin off bodies? He was like, fuck yeah
- 30:51Speaker 2: And so there's not a different value of the skin
- 30:56Speaker 2: I know, but while we're alive, there seems to be
- 30:59Speaker 2: a value system. You're telling me as soon as I
- 31:01Speaker 2: die and we're all equal?
- 31:05Speaker 1: You don't get excited like, oh, we got a white.
- 31:07Speaker 2: Oh, we got another black.
- 31:12Speaker 1: Give me a new knife. Then he comes in the room.
- 31:14Speaker 1: This motherfucker left. He's like, let's go.
- 31:17Speaker 2: Fuck this. Yeah, I understand that part, but I'm trying
- 31:23Speaker 2: to figure out, like, when you hand the bucket of
- 31:26Speaker 2: skin or the cooler, it's a bag, so you just
- 31:30Speaker 2: hand a bag of just eyeballs and shit over to somebody.
- 31:35Speaker 2: They'd be like, go to the cashier. And you go
- 31:37Speaker 2: over and they cut you a check, right?
- 31:40Speaker 1: Do they weigh it?
- 31:41Speaker 2: They're like, ooh, 87 pounds. It's hourly.
- 31:45Speaker 1: It's hourly?
- 31:46Speaker 2: So you go slow. You be like, one little....
- 31:50Speaker 1: Here and there, just one piggy towing out.
- 31:51Speaker 2: Like, hey, this little piggy went to the market, and
- 31:56Speaker 2: he ain't come back.
- 32:00Speaker 1: That's a very interesting profession.
- 32:02Speaker 2: And so somebody just approached you like, hey, man, why
- 32:04Speaker 2: don't you come on down and take these scissors? What
- 32:09Speaker 2: was the first day like? You probably were like, I
- 32:12Speaker 2: don't know what the fuck I'm doing, man. I got
- 32:14Speaker 2: to stop this. And you got that check like, yeah! Dang!
- 32:22Speaker 2: I'm about to start working nights. That's a crazy job.
- 32:27Speaker 2: I'm going to need you to give me $ 100, though.
- 32:29Speaker 2: Because I know you can hazard pay and all kinds
- 32:31Speaker 2: of extra money. And then, ma'am, you guys are a couple?
- 32:34Speaker 2: You ever just woke up in the middle of the
- 32:35Speaker 2: night and he was just looking at you like, look
- 32:36Speaker 2: at all that goddamn skin. Oh, that beautiful skin that
- 32:41Speaker 2: you're in. You keep her up at night? Ma'am, you
- 32:48Speaker 2: ain't worried about this situation? You literally got a Dexter
- 32:51Speaker 2: and that's okay? Don't break his heart. Hey man, I
- 32:56Speaker 2: made a call back to your profession and your ass
- 32:59Speaker 2: was gone. He cuts skin off of dead bodies and
- 33:03Speaker 2: gives it for donation to burn victims and stuff. You
- 33:07Speaker 2: use the skin? This is where it goes. It comes
- 33:11Speaker 2: in a bag. And you just bust a little package open.
- 33:16Speaker 2: You're like, I got a kneecap. You'd be tatted? That's crazy.
- 33:25Speaker 2: You take the tattoos too? You cut around the tattoos? Right,
- 33:30Speaker 2: because I'd be like, that's my ex. You're just trying
- 33:36Speaker 2: to do your job. Fucking tramp stamp go by that
- 33:39Speaker 2: you've been busting on.
- 33:40Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
- 33:46Speaker 2: This crazy conversation. I'm glad we had it. I've also
- 33:49Speaker 2: reached how much of it I can handle before I
- 33:51Speaker 2: throw up all over everybody. You don't do tattoos out
- 33:56Speaker 2: of respect. What about freckles and shit?
- 33:58Speaker 1: Birthmarks.
- 34:00Speaker 2: They gotta go, huh? Birthmarks be very unique. Shit, I
- 34:05Speaker 2: got a little African looking thing on my back. I
- 34:08Speaker 2: would like to think somebody could recognize my skin if
- 34:10Speaker 2: I wasn't in it no more. My mama could.
- 34:16Speaker 1: Let me see the skin. That's his black ass. That's
- 34:22Speaker 1: a crazy job.
- 34:23Speaker 2: The way you got into it is the craziest shit ever.
- 34:26Speaker 2: You stayed. How long you been doing that?
- 34:31Speaker 1: 20 years.
- 34:33Speaker 2: God damn, you been cutting niggas up since 06? He said,
- 34:39Speaker 2: you done cut up everybody. You probably good at it, huh?
- 34:45Speaker 2: 20 years, you might be like, I prefer the love handles.
- 34:51Speaker 2: This motherfucker, we got to watch him, man.
- 34:54Speaker 1: Security, keep an eye on him. Let's go over here
- 34:57Speaker 1: and talk.
- 34:57Speaker 2: To Kyrgyz Derby, Kyrgyz Derby stand.
- 35:02Speaker 1: And Deontay. What's your name, sir?
- 35:06Speaker 2: You look like a Darius or something like that. Raymond. Yeah,
- 35:11Speaker 2: that's it. You a junior?
- 35:13Speaker 1: Yeah, because there ain't no new Raymonds, you know. That's
- 35:17Speaker 1: a granddaddy name.
- 35:19Speaker 2: What do you do, Raymond? How you getting your money, man? HR?
- 35:25Speaker 2: Talent acquisition.
- 35:27Speaker 1: For who?
- 35:30Speaker 2: You hire new life insurance people? How do you do it?
- 35:34Speaker 2: Like you just ask them their weekday availability? Okay. But
- 35:51Speaker 2: I just noticed y'all, you didn't look away, so let's interact.
- 35:54Speaker 2: I'd like to talk to both of y'all. You have
- 35:56Speaker 2: beautifully shaved heads, sir. That motherfucker clean as a bitch.
- 36:00Speaker 2: You did it today in the car or something, you're like.
- 36:03Speaker 2: That motherfucker clean as black.
- 36:05Speaker 1: This your queen right here wearing all black, Catwoman?
- 36:08Speaker 2: Okay.
- 36:09Speaker 1: Y'all married? What y'all doing?
- 36:13Speaker 2: Why you say it like that, sis? Did y'all hear her?
- 36:15Speaker 2: She like, no, we not, no. No, we not married.
- 36:20Speaker 2: Ask him why, though. Sir, this ain't gonna go good.
- 36:25Speaker 2: I can feel the energy.
- 36:26Speaker 1: How long you been, how long? Yeah, I know. How long?
- 36:32Speaker 2: Hold on, he gotta poop. That nigga about to push
- 36:38Speaker 2: out a whole Tokido straight. No brakes. Let my doo-doo go.
- 37:00Speaker 1: How long you been with her, man?
- 37:01Speaker 2: I want to know.
- 37:02Speaker 1: It's going to be a disrespectful number.
- 37:03Speaker 2: I can already tell. We ain't together, though. We friends.
- 37:10Speaker 1: He leaned forward like, what you got for them, motherfucker?
- 37:15Speaker 2: You just friends? Ain't this VIP? Friends and VIP. Who
- 37:22Speaker 2: paid for it? There it is. Let's get that.
- 37:25Speaker 1: Come on now. Let's have us a break.
- 37:27Speaker 2: She turned. Why the fuck are you saying so many
- 37:30Speaker 2: motherfucking words?
- 37:33Speaker 1: She got them all excited. Oh, we talking tonight.
- 37:36Speaker 2: You used to be together, but y'all still hang out?
- 37:39Speaker 1: Talk to me, man.
- 37:40Speaker 2: What's up? This your ex-girlfriend?
- 37:42Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 37:43Speaker 2: Damn, you sound sad the way you said yeah. What happened?
- 37:44Speaker 4: Nothing.
- 37:44Speaker 2: I got stuff going on.
- 37:45Speaker 4: Okay.
- 37:45Speaker 2: I didn't want to hurt her.
- 37:47Speaker 1: I got stuff going.
- 37:53Speaker 5: On.
- 37:53Speaker 2: Oh, you a hero? Somebody's judgmental as fuck. A whole
- 38:00Speaker 2: other woman's like, this nigga got a baby.
- 38:01Speaker 5: This Ohio, we know the story already.
- 38:09Speaker 2: But you're just trying to get your together so that
- 38:11Speaker 2: you can, okay. Okay, but you know, women kind of
- 38:14Speaker 2: want to be there for that part.
- 38:16Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, I want to be here. Why don't
- 38:21Speaker 1: you build it all? Let me contribute.
- 38:23Speaker 2: So what you got to do is you got to
- 38:24Speaker 2: sit down and tell her all the up and risk
- 38:27Speaker 2: running her off.
- 38:29Speaker 1: Because if you keep.
- 38:30Speaker 2: Bullshitting, she's going to go any goddamn way. And anytime
- 38:34Speaker 2: I see a black woman that looked that confident, like
- 38:36Speaker 2: Maxine Shaw from Living Single, I mean, you look just
- 38:40Speaker 2: like her. Could you stand up and show your face
- 38:42Speaker 2: to them, please?
- 38:43Speaker 3: And we're living single in a nice kind of world.
- 38:50Speaker 2: I'm glad I got my girl. Keep your head up.
- 38:53Speaker 2: Keep your head up. White people, there was a show.
- 38:57Speaker 2: Based on your face, I need to slow down. She's like,
- 39:00Speaker 2: what the heck is going on right now? Sir, if
- 39:03Speaker 2: you don't take your fast back and wash your hands...
- 39:07Speaker 2: You did not wash your hands, bro. There ain't no way.
- 39:10Speaker 2: Hell no, I don't want to feel. Grab her face. Yeah,
- 39:16Speaker 2: he dirty, look. Jesus Christ, Moses. Let my cheek meat go.
- 39:29Speaker 2: So yeah, man, on some real shit, man, just sit down,
- 39:34Speaker 2: lock the door, and tell her all that shit you
- 39:37Speaker 2: trying to work through and see if she willing to
- 39:39Speaker 2: help you. Because more than one person working on a
- 39:42Speaker 2: problem make the problem less for each person involved.
- 39:45Speaker 1: That's real game right there. Would you have his back?
- 39:49Speaker 1: You told him that already.
- 39:50Speaker 2: It's different because, nigga, I didn't say it. He listening now. Shit,
- 39:53Speaker 2: he already going through life with baby hands. That nigga
- 39:56Speaker 2: trying to.
- 39:56Speaker 1: Figure it out.
- 39:58Speaker 2: God damn, you got some little ass hands. Nigga, you
- 40:00Speaker 2: keep on touching your face. It look like you playing.
- 40:03Speaker 2: Hold your hand up.
- 40:06Speaker 1: Make it big as you can make it.
- 40:07Speaker 2: Let me see you. That nigga got balls. Hold your
- 40:12Speaker 2: hand up. That's why you got problems. You can't even
- 40:16Speaker 2: hold all your shit. They got baby hands. Yeah, I
- 40:23Speaker 2: got a lot going on.
- 40:24Speaker 1: Okay, and sis, what do you do for a living?
- 40:29Speaker 5: I work at GE Aerospace.
- 40:32Speaker 2: GE Aerospace.
- 40:32Speaker 1: You're building planes.
- 40:35Speaker 2: Wonderful.
- 40:36Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all should clap it up. That's a good job.
- 40:39Speaker 2: I appreciate the people that clap right away. They didn't
- 40:41Speaker 2: need to be coaxed until a clap. So you're building airplanes.
- 40:45Speaker 2: What part of the airline are you on?
- 40:49Speaker 1: Procurement. You buying planes? You buy the parts.
- 40:53Speaker 2: Damn. So you just got an open account? You got
- 40:58Speaker 2: the money? Do they check everything you buy? They be like,
- 41:02Speaker 2: hold up. Could I sell you a couple screws? Okay.
- 41:11Speaker 1: Yeah, I need a pilot. And then what do you do, sir?
- 41:15Speaker 2: Little hands. Heavy machine operator. You would think I set
- 41:27Speaker 2: this up. He got baby hands, and he's a heavy
- 41:31Speaker 2: machine operator.
- 41:34Speaker 5: He's like, my whole life, I've been wanting to pick
- 41:35Speaker 5: up heavy shit, and I couldn't do it, so I
- 41:38Speaker 5: went and got my Super CDL, and now I do.
- 41:42Speaker 2: That shit.
- 41:42Speaker 1: What's your machine, man? What's your go-to on the lot?
- 41:46Speaker 2: Any machine. You bulldozer, backhoe, crane. Crane? All of it. Damn. Microwave.
- 42:01Speaker 1: You'd be like, boop.
- 42:03Speaker 2: Boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Start. A
- 42:12Speaker 2: little baby hair, man. Yeah, man, I hope we had
- 42:16Speaker 2: a breakthrough between all the giggles and shit. That's some
- 42:18Speaker 2: shit to y'all, man. Sit down with your queen. Yeah, man,
- 42:20Speaker 2: and just have that conversation. Somebody need to take their
- 42:22Speaker 2: birth control or something. I don't know what the fuck
- 42:24Speaker 2: that sound is. What was that, Fat Joe? Check your phone, man.
- 42:28Speaker 2: You're going crazy. You're like, man, he's all over you, boy.
- 42:31Speaker 2: They be trying to get in my skin. This motherfucker
- 42:39Speaker 2: looked at him like, no, not quality. So let's talk
- 42:46Speaker 2: to y'all. This is a very interesting table. You got people...
- 42:53Speaker 2: You got a rapper. You got a promoter. You got
- 42:56Speaker 2: sis doing bangs. You doing the f * * *
- 42:57Speaker 2: ing bangs. Okay, then you got that couple back there.
- 43:01Speaker 2: They family don't know they're together yet. They're going to
- 43:03Speaker 2: tell them soon. And then they got him back there
- 43:05Speaker 2: that look like he don't want none of y'all near
- 43:07Speaker 2: his house. You get your black ass out of here,
- 43:10Speaker 2: son of a bitch. I'm watching you, man. I don't
- 43:14Speaker 2: give a fuck what it is. You turn that goddamn boom, boom, bap, boom,
- 43:17Speaker 2: shit down when you come around my motherfucking house. It's
- 43:20Speaker 2: old Ted and this son of a bitch. She about
- 43:23Speaker 2: to go find somebody to talk to. Watch.
- 43:35Speaker 1: Her girl Noah, too.
- 43:35Speaker 2: Yeah, she finna talk to somebody out there. And so
- 43:40Speaker 2: I would like to meet the cowboy man. Garvey. What's
- 43:44Speaker 2: your name, man? They call you that? They don't put
- 43:53Speaker 2: no Mr. Shannon on it?
- 43:58Speaker 1: This nigga just came.
- 44:01Speaker 2: He was like, hey, let my penis go.