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Bonus IMPROV - He Needs More Fiber · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome welcome welcome welcome to very fine friends how fine are they
• 0:22
  what i can't hear you i said how fine are they they're so fine they're gonna do some bonus improv
• 0:33
  oh mickey they're so fine they're so fine they do some improv hey mickey
• 0:38
  hey mickey
• 0:40
  joe can we get a suggestion classy good like good song your suggestion is unacceptable unacceptable
• 0:49
  what do you think is unacceptable
• 0:54
  um well this isn't really unacceptable it just annoyed me and i thought of it just now
• 1:04
  i already told joe this story but why he's yawning already yeah he already knows what
• 1:10
  i'm gonna this i was at the gym and someone so like you have like mats and stuff for like
• 1:18
  when you're lying on the floor doing like whatever your floor stuff is,
• 1:21
  whatever that's your mat.
• 1:22
  Right.
• 1:22
  Yeah.
• 1:23
  And you're supposed to wipe it down when you're finished so that it's clean
• 1:25
  for the next person.
• 1:26
  Yeah.
• 1:28
  I was like,
• 1:29
  I was sitting on the bench next to the mat and somebody just like walks up
• 1:34
  and they just like walk all over my mat.
• 1:37
  That's unacceptable.
• 1:38
  They walked on your mat.
• 1:40
  They walk on my mat.
• 1:42
  So that's bad.
• 1:44
  That's really bad.
• 1:45
  Like that is.
• 1:46
  And I was just like, just like watch it has like, I would, it would never in a minute.
• 1:51
  And he, he did it to save one step.
• 1:53
  He could have just walked around me and it would have been like maybe two extra steps.
• 1:59
  It was like crazy.
• 2:01
  Did you say anything?
• 2:02
  No.
• 2:02
  And then he did it on the way.
• 2:03
  It was just, we're just like, what, what do you, that's, what are you doing?
• 2:06
  Like when, when you pull that mat off the wall, that is now your like personal space.
• 2:11
  You don't touch it.
• 2:13
  Like, I don't know where that dude's feet were.
• 2:16
  Like he could have had a dog that he was playing with in the backyard and the dog shit everywhere.
• 2:21
  And then there's shit all over his shoes.
• 2:23
  And then he walks over my mat and I'm supposed to like lie down.
• 2:26
  That's where like I put my head when I'm doing sit-ups.
• 2:29
  I thought you were going to say he sweat all over his mat and didn't wipe it up.
• 2:33
  No.
• 2:33
  But he affected you.
• 2:35
  Yes.
• 2:36
  If I saw somebody do that and they didn't wipe their mat, I would wipe their mat.
• 2:40
  I would think that's unacceptable too, but I would wipe their mat.
• 2:42
  And here's the kicker.
• 2:43
  You know why he walked on my mat or why he was going where he was going?
• 2:49
  Yeah, the pod.
• 2:49
  To get wipes for his mat before he used it Not for the end of his using it He wiped it down before he used his own cares about himself
• 3:02
  Exactly.
• 3:02
  So he realizes there's value in having a clean mat before you lie on it.
• 3:07
  Wow.
• 3:08
  I was,
• 3:08
  wow.
• 3:09
  It,
• 3:09
  it,
• 3:10
  it happened just like a week ago and it still is blowing my mind.
• 3:14
  This is a week ago.
• 3:15
  Yes.
• 3:17
  We could go today.
• 3:18
  Oh yeah.
• 3:19
  Week ago.
• 3:20
  Well, I'm sorry that happened to you. That is rude.
• 3:22
  Thank you.
• 3:23
  It's like, it's such bad etiquette to the point where I did that to Jenna's mat
• 3:27
  because we were working out together just like one step.
• 3:30
  But I did it at like the foot and I was like, I felt embarrassed.
• 3:34
  I was like, oh, well, people don't know.
• 3:35
  She's my sister and we're here together, so it's fine.
• 3:37
  And I know that he doesn't have a dog that peed everywhere and he walked in it.
• 3:41
  Yeah, my shoes are fine.
• 3:42
  And also I did it at the foot area.
• 3:44
  Yeah.
• 3:45
  I just need to clarify one thing with you guys.
• 3:47
  Yeah.
• 3:48
  Since I'm the only one here with a dog.
• 3:49
  you guys don't think i go home and step in my dog shit right not on purpose
• 3:54
  but i mean it happens it's a possible it's a possibility also they do pee everywhere so
• 4:02
  then there's just like you could theoretically get peed and you wouldn't know it or not even just
• 4:05
  like dog material but like when i like what walking around on the street yeah like my running shoes
• 4:12
  like all like if i go for a run like i'll go in the gym sometimes there'll be like a little
• 4:17
  like dirt piece that like comes off my shoes.
• 4:20
  You're right.
• 4:21
  You're right.
• 4:22
  Yeah.
• 4:22
  Well, I hope he's dead.
• 4:24
  Probably is.
• 4:25
  He is.
• 4:25
  I killed him.
• 4:26
  Thank you.
• 4:26
  That's how you protect your sister.
• 4:28
  And if it wasn't,
• 4:29
  if he wasn't already murdered by Joe,
• 4:34
  he only did like two sets of stretching.
• 4:37
  So that's like,
• 4:37
  he's not out.
• 4:38
  That's not,
• 4:39
  you're not healthy.
• 4:40
  Two sets of stretching.
• 4:41
  Yeah.
• 4:41
  Like he just barely like,
• 4:43
  he was there for like five minutes.
• 4:44
  Yeah.
• 4:45
  I was like,
• 4:45
  he's not working on itself the way he should.
• 4:47
  What's the point of these mats? What do you do?
• 4:50
  Just various, like anything you do.
• 4:52
  I will lie on them to do my ab work.
• 4:56
  If you're doing planks, you'll want to have a mat or something like that.
• 4:59
  So that you're not directly on the ground.
• 5:02
  Interesting. Thanks for explaining.
• 5:04
  Anything that you would do on the ground, you just put a mat underneath you.
• 5:09
  That's unacceptable to me.
• 5:10
  Well, you're right.
• 5:11
  Thank you.
• 5:14
  We'll be reenacting the murder.
• 5:17
  The audience needs to listen in order for that to be fun.
• 5:28
  And now, improv.
• 5:36
  Honey.
• 5:37
  Yeah?
• 5:38
  I finally did it.
• 5:40
  Oh.
• 5:41
  I deliberately stepped in crap, and then I went out.
• 5:44
  Wow you did Yes You been wanting to do that for so long I know And I have to say it felt incredible And I think I really did my part Wow Tell me everything Tell me where you went What you do
• 5:58
  Well, first I stepped in the crap real good. Wait, real quick. Who's crap?
• 6:03
  Well, the neighbor's dog. Good. Good. Yeah. Wait, which one? Samson or Delilah?
• 6:09
  Delilah. Okay, good. Yeah. She's got better crap. I agree. It holds up.
• 6:14
  Samson, it's inconsistent.
• 6:15
  Yeah, inconsistent.
• 6:16
  He needs more fiber.
• 6:17
  He does.
• 6:18
  You can't tell them that.
• 6:19
  No.
• 6:20
  So anyway, I clogged around in it.
• 6:22
  Good.
• 6:22
  Uh-huh.
• 6:23
  And then I just started walking.
• 6:24
  And the first place I ended up was the Center for the Immunologically Disadvantaged.
• 6:31
  Ooh, wow.
• 6:32
  I love that we live so close to it.
• 6:33
  I know.
• 6:34
  We don't need it.
• 6:35
  Our immune systems are amazing.
• 6:36
  Pretty good.
• 6:37
  Yeah.
• 6:37
  Yeah.
• 6:38
  So I went in, did a couple of figure eights.
• 6:41
  Ooh, you must have looked so good.
• 6:44
  So elegant.
• 6:44
  They were in awe of me.
• 6:46
  Their mouths were wide open.
• 6:48
  And when I started to hear coughing, I left.
• 6:51
  Wow.
• 6:51
  Good for you, honey.
• 6:52
  Thanks.
• 6:54
  The next place I went.
• 6:55
  Yeah.
• 6:56
  Was the assisted living facility.
• 7:00
  Oh, good place.
• 7:02
  Yeah.
• 7:02
  Again, I love that we're so close to it.
• 7:04
  We're never going to need it.
• 7:05
  We're going to be vital till we're dead.
• 7:07
  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:08
  But I'm glad it's there.
• 7:10
  There was a sign that said take your shoes off, but I didn't feel like it.
• 7:12
  So good for you.
• 7:14
  Yeah, I visited some people that I didn't know, sat in a chair, put my feet up.
• 7:20
  And they just probably appreciated it so much.
• 7:25
  The company, they appreciate it.
• 7:26
  Tears, tears of joy and gratitude.
• 7:29
  It was a great feeling, honey.
• 7:31
  You got to do this.
• 7:33
  Really?
• 7:33
  Oh, yeah.
• 7:34
  This is what the world needs.
• 7:36
  Well.
• 7:37
  I was thinking about spitting.
• 7:38
  You were thinking about spitting?
• 7:41
  Mm-hmm.
• 7:42
  At the feet of passersby?
• 7:44
  Oh.
• 7:45
  In the faces of babies.
• 7:47
  I want to have that kind of joie de vivre.
• 7:51
  It's freeing.
• 7:52
  Let's do it.
• 7:53
  I want to do it with you.
• 7:54
  You've given me the courage.
• 7:57
  All right.
• 7:57
  I could finally join you.
• 7:58
  Okay.
• 8:00
  Put your dirtiest shoes on.
• 8:04
  Done.
• 8:06
  Perfect.
• 8:06
  All right, let's go outside.
• 8:10
  Delilah?
• 8:11
  Yeah.
• 8:11
  Shit.
• 8:14
  There it is.
• 8:15
  I love that she does that on command.
• 8:16
  I taught her well.
• 8:18
  I love that you trained the neighbor's dog.
• 8:21
  Someone had to.
• 8:22
  I know.
• 8:23
  All right.
• 8:24
  Nice and covered.
• 8:25
  Okay.
• 8:26
  Oh, I know where I want to go first.
• 8:27
  Oh, where, where?
• 8:29
  That all white rug emporium.
• 8:32
  Should we go in there?
• 8:32
  Oh, of course we have to.
• 8:33
  We must.
• 8:34
  This is how artists are found.
• 8:36
  How about, how about this?
• 8:39
  You just, let's wait, gave me a tag.
• 8:42
  Then we run all through there You and me Brilliant This is why you my wife Tech You it Hey you get out of here
• 8:53
  They loved it.
• 8:54
  They loved it.
• 8:56
  Oh, that was exhilarating.
• 8:57
  Oh my God, babe.
• 8:58
  You're a natural.
• 8:58
  Oh, thank you.
• 8:59
  Thank you.
• 9:00
  Did you, I spelled out my name.
• 9:02
  You did?
• 9:02
  In the rugs.
• 9:03
  Yeah.
• 9:03
  Oh, I wish I thought of that.
• 9:04
  I just didn't.
• 9:06
  You just followed me.
• 9:07
  Yeah.
• 9:08
  Yeah.
• 9:08
  Oh, so there's two of you.
• 9:09
  There's two of you.
• 9:09
  There's two of my names.
• 9:10
  Oh man.
• 9:10
  it's like I double signed my crime
• 9:12
  it's like signing your art
• 9:14
  yeah
• 9:15
  they'll remember this day forever
• 9:17
  where do you want to go next
• 9:18
  we still got some
• 9:19
  shoe goop
• 9:21
  you know what I've always wanted to do
• 9:24
  let's go to the NICU
• 9:26
  yeah
• 9:27
  yeah
• 9:28
  okay
• 9:29
  let's find one of those really teeny tiny babies
• 9:31
  the tiniest baby
• 9:33
  yeah
• 9:34
  the tiniest one
• 9:35
  okay I'm there
• 9:36
  and I'm going to play
• 9:37
  Mr. Shoe Hands
• 9:39
  Cut to us getting out of the taxi
• 9:41
  That's now covered in poop
• 9:42
  Thanks bye
• 9:43
  He loved it
• 9:45
  That was just supposed to be shouting noises
• 9:48
  It was
• 9:51
  Great
• 9:52
  I don't know what you heard
• 9:55
  So okay
• 10:01
  Here we are
• 10:01
  I'm going to use my shoes as little hand puppets
• 10:05
  To entertain the kids
• 10:06
  Hey kids
• 10:08
  I was born with HIV
• 10:10
  Oh high five for that
• 10:15
  There you go
• 10:18
  Look how much happier he is
• 10:21
  Today's the first day of the rest of my life
• 10:23
  Sure is
• 10:24
  Wow babe
• 10:28
  Wow was I just baptized
• 10:29
  Nope
• 10:30
  Still going to hell
• 10:32
  No
• 10:32
  God we're doing so much good today
• 10:36
  I just love you
• 10:37
  oh i love you too where do you want to go next um i don't know we've pooped everywhere in town
• 10:46
  well i mean delilah yeah we're just her agents
• 10:52
  yeah we're like who's that character in dracula
• 10:58
  dracula no the one who does the bidding
• 11:03
  when he's sleeping the dracula is familiar i don't know he's sure okay i didn't marry you
• 11:11
  for your brains no i know married you for your feet poop spreading abilities um i i don't know
• 11:19
  if we could top what we've done unless we have one last gig but where would it be i don't know
• 11:25
  the whole town's felt our presence today what let's go to a funeral
• 11:31
  scene