Latest / Untraditionally Lala / Sex Unlocked: Let’s Talk About Toys

Transcript

Sex Unlocked: Let’s Talk About Toys · Untraditionally Lala

0:00
Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex baby, Hello, my little sex pots.
0:06
Speaker 1: I'm so hyped because today Sally is in La. Welcome
0:10
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles, my love.
0:12
Speaker 2: Thank you. I love it here?
0:13
Speaker 1: Do you?
0:14
Speaker 2: I mean? Yeah?
0:15
Speaker 1: Could you live here? No? Too much tra change right, yeah, yes,
0:20
Speaker 1: way too much traffic. Let me tell you something. I
0:23
Speaker 1: wanted to get cute for you today. You had a
0:25
Speaker 1: lot going on. So I've got a lot of things
0:27
Speaker 1: happening with my body. And I get a call from
0:33
Speaker 1: the place who's that's doing my MRI. I had it
0:36
Speaker 1: scheduled for next week, and they're like, hey, we're gonna
0:38
Speaker 1: have you waiting for a really long time because we
0:40
Speaker 1: have you in between appointments on Monday. We can move
0:43
Speaker 1: you to tomorrow today at six am.
0:47
Speaker 2: Also six am is brutal, brutal, Yeah.
0:50
Speaker 1: So that means I have to be up in the
0:53
Speaker 1: five o'clock hour. My hope was to get to the MRI.
0:56
Speaker 1: I was like, it'll take thirty minutes. I'll be able
0:58
Speaker 1: to get home, get cute from main bitch, and come
1:03
Speaker 1: to the studio. It took for fucking ever. Then they're like,
1:06
Speaker 1: we want to give you the results, though, can you
1:08
Speaker 1: wait for a minute. They bring me out a DVD
1:11
Speaker 1: you guys of my results?
1:12
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, where look at this?
1:17
Speaker 1: I'm a CD in.
1:19
Speaker 2: You could look at it through because the robot software
1:21
Speaker 2: that I use I'm not awesome. I'm not kidding. I
1:25
Speaker 2: have like a little expert thing.
1:26
Speaker 1: Like that you put discs into because I got to
1:29
Speaker 1: look at the patients scans. So I'll just give it
1:32
Speaker 1: to you. Am I supposed to know what this ship said,
1:36
Speaker 1: so I couldn't get I quite literally rolled out of bed,
1:39
Speaker 1: brushed my teeth, and here I am.
1:40
Speaker 2: Here you are, but you always look good.
1:42
Speaker 1: Fuck god, I know this video. I'm gonna have fly aways.
1:46
Speaker 1: No one's fucking me after this video. But that's fine
1:49
Speaker 1: because today's all about sex toys. Who needs a man
1:53
Speaker 1: when I have of dick.
1:56
Speaker 2: I'm actually excited for this because I am such a basic.
2:00
Speaker 2: Little vibrator in my bedside table. Go.
2:04
Speaker 1: I was hoping you were just say, vibrator in my
2:05
Speaker 1: butthole never tried. Sounds intriguing. We have a lot of
2:14
Speaker 1: d ms, so many about sucking an uncircumcised peep. By
2:20
Speaker 1: the way, have you done it yet?
2:22
Speaker 2: I did it? I did it. It was I closed
2:27
Speaker 2: my eyes and I just went for it. Actually he
2:29
Speaker 2: asked me to. I wasn't gonna do it. He's going
2:33
Speaker 2: to do it, And I was like getting on top
2:35
Speaker 2: of him to have sex with them, and he was like,
2:37
Speaker 2: are you gonna get it.
2:38
Speaker 3: Wet with my Vaginema was like, I'm going to go
2:42
Speaker 3: down there, so like sit on your head.
2:44
Speaker 1: Yeah.
2:44
Speaker 2: But then I did it all Now it was normal though.
2:49
Speaker 1: It was normal because when it gets hard the skin.
2:53
Speaker 2: I was all worried about it though, Like I thought
2:55
Speaker 2: I was going to have to like pull it back.
2:59
Speaker 1: Didn't I just put it.
3:00
Speaker 2: I just put it. Also, guys, I hope he doesn't
3:06
Speaker 2: listen to this podcast.
3:07
Speaker 1: But for sure, does I think you think so? I
3:09
Speaker 1: think he told you he did.
3:11
Speaker 2: I think he might have a secret Instagram too.
3:16
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're finding red flags as.
3:19
Speaker 2: Because two times I've talked to him, he's known, like
3:24
Speaker 2: he's guessed what I've been wearing at like, like he'll guess,
3:26
Speaker 2: like what did I wear? Because he knows me so well,
3:28
Speaker 2: he says, But he's been spot on, and like I
3:31
Speaker 2: told him yet last night, I was like, you have
3:33
Speaker 2: a secret Instagram because there's no way you could know
3:36
Speaker 2: exactly what I was wearing in all three of these circumstances.
3:40
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'm a little concerned for your safety. Night
3:45
Speaker 1: freaked out. It's not. I'm not freaked out, but I
3:48
Speaker 1: should be. Really as someone who gravitates towards red flags,
3:52
Speaker 1: who never takes my own advice, take my advice, flock him. Okay,
3:57
Speaker 1: he's guessed exactly what are weary in my day?
4:01
Speaker 2: Yesterday he was like, let me guess you wore your
4:02
Speaker 2: new dress that you got in New York when I
4:04
Speaker 2: was with him.
4:05
Speaker 1: So I was like, that was an easy guess.
4:07
Speaker 2: But then I went to the mountains with Austin and
4:12
Speaker 2: Rodrigo and he called me and he's like, let me
4:14
Speaker 2: guess you showed up in your little tracksuit with your
4:15
Speaker 2: bunny in your hand. I'm like, Rodrigo, Rodrigo posted a
4:22
Speaker 2: story of me walking in the house in a tracksuit
4:25
Speaker 2: and my bunny in.
4:26
Speaker 1: My hand, and he and he didn't a real bunny, no,
4:29
Speaker 1: no stuff star. Are you bunny hiking with the stuff? Dan?
4:32
Speaker 1: And it just maybe you're the red flag?
4:34
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe hiking. I was at hiking. What did you
4:38
Speaker 2: I just showed up to the house, the mountain house. Yeah,
4:41
Speaker 2: oh we here in La.
4:42
Speaker 1: We go to the mountains when we hike. Don't want
4:44
Speaker 1: to go into a mountain.
4:45
Speaker 2: We just had a we had a mountain week We
4:47
Speaker 2: had a mountain weekend.
4:48
Speaker 1: I forget. I forget. You're from out there.
4:50
Speaker 2: He doesn't have social media.
4:51
Speaker 1: Every producer in this room is side eye ink. He
4:54
Speaker 1: also doesn't text. Right. No, I don't think I think
4:57
Speaker 1: he has more than a secret Instagram. I think you
4:59
Speaker 1: got a seat your girlfriend.
5:01
Speaker 2: To look at this.
5:03
Speaker 1: What what's him? Oh? Two TEGs? Okay, Oh, it's just
5:07
Speaker 1: all you. It's all me. Oh my god, you're having
5:14
Speaker 1: a conversation with your own self. Sally.
5:21
Speaker 2: Sally will be on the phone and he's like, send
5:23
Speaker 2: me a picture of you.
5:25
Speaker 1: I'll send it to him, and then he just doesn't.
5:27
Speaker 1: I don't know, O guys. Oh my god, Oh my god.
5:33
Speaker 2: I know it's fine. We're writing it out.
5:37
Speaker 1: We're writing it out. Oh my god, Sally, I think
5:43
Speaker 1: you have to run. Also, I think you have to run. No,
5:45
Speaker 1: I'm saying, okay, I know that feeling. I know that feeling.
5:51
Speaker 1: I'm saying until I get hurt. I'm just kidding. I
5:54
Speaker 1: don't think you're it's okay. Oh my god.
5:58
Speaker 2: He like, I understand his job doesn't allow him to
6:01
Speaker 2: like text that much.
6:03
Speaker 1: I know billionaires who can text. Okay, I know billionaires
6:06
Speaker 1: who have wives and girlfriends. They make it work. Well.
6:08
Speaker 2: I have been getting a lot of d ms that
6:10
Speaker 2: are like sounds like love bombing, but I.
6:13
Speaker 1: Love a good love bomb the fuck out of me.
6:17
Speaker 1: I tend to putty in your hand. Tell me that
6:20
Speaker 1: you want to put a baby in me tomorrow and
6:21
Speaker 1: spend the rest of your life with me. After day one, yeah,
6:24
Speaker 1: don same, sign me in love and next day, oh
6:29
Speaker 1: my god, we should do group therapy.
6:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm in therapy. I don't think it's working.
6:35
Speaker 1: But is it weird? I have a pit in my
6:38
Speaker 1: stomach for you?
6:39
Speaker 2: No, I I do too. It's okay, don't listen. I
6:45
Speaker 2: am good, but I will say I mean the sex
6:48
Speaker 2: is really good with him.
6:49
Speaker 1: Oh you're but he's still ties. But he still comes
6:56
Speaker 1: in like very quick. He still comes very very quick,
7:00
Speaker 1: like very quick, like what are we talking? Like are
7:04
Speaker 1: we talking forty five seconds? Yeah, he's a mister forty five.
7:08
Speaker 2: Under a minute, which sometimes I like.
7:10
Speaker 1: Because it's a very get the job done.
7:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also it's it's a compliment to me because
7:16
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, great, you're really enjoying this. You're coming
7:19
Speaker 2: that fast. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm really hot. Now
7:26
Speaker 2: my goal is like I'm gonna makee you come in
7:27
Speaker 2: twenty seconds?
7:28
Speaker 1: Oh do you come?
7:32
Speaker 2: Well?
7:32
Speaker 1: Yes? Mostly? Well, oh my god, he's calling me.
7:36
Speaker 2: That was crazy that he just called me, because he like,
7:38
Speaker 2: never like, he's not crazy, you guys.
7:40
Speaker 1: No, I think I'm just making it seem like no,
7:43
Speaker 1: this is called your intuition and you're ignoring it. And
7:47
Speaker 1: I get it. I do that all the time. I
7:49
Speaker 1: do that all the time because he said these things.
7:55
Speaker 1: We that's the thing. Women hold on to words and
7:57
Speaker 1: we need to like fixate on the actions. And instead
8:01
Speaker 1: I know, and he does two actions like bail on
8:05
Speaker 1: you last minute, cyber stock you on not Let's just like,
8:09
Speaker 1: let's just like hold on to the red flags just
8:11
Speaker 1: a little bit, okay, because I wasted like seven months
8:14
Speaker 1: of my life with a person. Yeah, I'm not going
8:18
Speaker 1: to do that. I mean, we're not dating, You're not.
8:22
Speaker 1: He said he loved you.
8:23
Speaker 2: Yeah he did, but he told me we're dating, and
8:25
Speaker 2: I was like, no, you have to ask me for
8:27
Speaker 2: your girlfriend if you want.
8:28
Speaker 1: To date me.
8:29
Speaker 2: And also, I don't really want to boyfriend that I can't.
8:33
Speaker 1: Share with people. Yeah, well you might be sharing him
8:36
Speaker 1: with other women, but you can't. Let's talk about it.
8:40
Speaker 1: He doesn't. Yeah, you're right. Okay, we're just let's get
8:43
Speaker 1: back to the uncircumcised dick. Captain Sleepy Pants said, always
8:48
Speaker 1: do the under the hood sniff test if you smell
8:51
Speaker 1: cottage cheese from that twenty four to seven diner you remember,
8:55
Speaker 1: on that road trip in the middle of the flatlands
8:57
Speaker 1: of Colorado at three thirty am on leave the handbag.
9:02
Speaker 1: It can be replaced, but you will never ever get
9:05
Speaker 1: that smell out of your nose. Oh my god, stick around.
9:09
Speaker 1: She should write a book. Yeah, it's like a wonderful
9:12
Speaker 1: Did you smell cottage cheese?
9:13
Speaker 2: No, that's good, It just smelled like it smelled like
9:16
Speaker 2: a normal dick, just.
9:18
Speaker 1: Like skin can mm. Yeah, well that's good. Yeah. I
9:21
Speaker 1: bet he uses the Q tip method.
9:24
Speaker 2: He tells me he's very good at cleaning it, or
9:28
Speaker 2: he stays on top of it.
9:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to. Yeah. So then I found this
9:33
Speaker 1: like uncircumcised pepe. Okay, you guys, we got on because
9:38
Speaker 1: we talk about toys a lot. This is crazy. It's
9:42
Speaker 1: insane and these are all like Amazon didn't come down?
9:46
Speaker 1: Now are you supposed to practice? These are their best
9:55
Speaker 1: sellers on Amazon? Are you kidding me? Let me hold.
10:00
Speaker 2: This is the size of my forearm.
10:04
Speaker 1: This is I've seen big dick before. Massive. This is
10:11
Speaker 1: the size of an elephant. That's that's literally a horse.
10:15
Speaker 1: It's too big and it is uncircumcised, so you know what,
10:19
Speaker 1: it doesn't go all the way down like there still
10:21
Speaker 1: is a little a little bit here. Does this vibrate?
10:25
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
10:25
Speaker 2: Turn it on? You stick it to the wall, stick
10:28
Speaker 2: it to this glass. Oh my god, turn it on.
10:33
Speaker 1: It doesn't vibrate. Are you joking? If this is going
10:36
Speaker 1: inside of you, you don't need the vibration. You want
10:39
Speaker 1: it to vibrate. Would you use this?
10:41
Speaker 2: No?
10:42
Speaker 1: That would There is this part of me that wants
10:47
Speaker 1: to try it. I'll be right back. You should take
10:50
Speaker 1: that home with you. This is like having a baby,
10:51
Speaker 1: except instead they're shoving the baby back into your vagina.
10:54
Speaker 2: I mean, does that even know? Like, there's no way
10:57
Speaker 2: I could put that in me.
10:58
Speaker 1: No, I don't think that would even fit this. Your
11:01
Speaker 1: IUD would go straight to your dome. Being lodged in
11:04
Speaker 1: your brain. Who is buying this?
11:08
Speaker 2: I've never I don't even think I've seen one like
11:09
Speaker 2: half that size.
11:11
Speaker 1: It's got nice sized balls, though. The ball to shaft
11:15
Speaker 1: ratio is pretty good, very vainy too. It's about if
11:20
Speaker 1: some man.
11:21
Speaker 2: Pulled down their pants to have sex with me with this,
11:24
Speaker 2: with that, I would run.
11:26
Speaker 1: So fast, friend. You know what, if I were a man,
11:29
Speaker 1: this is what mine would look like. Yeah, you would
11:31
Speaker 1: have a big dick, flip it on the table at
11:33
Speaker 1: all times, right, shut the fuck out? Oh my god.
11:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I would have a lot of fun with
11:43
Speaker 2: that dick if it was mine, A lot of fun.
11:46
Speaker 1: Although I think you couldn't. I'd wear really I feel
11:49
Speaker 1: like girls all the time and let it sit just
11:52
Speaker 1: like this. I feel like girls. You wouldn't.
11:54
Speaker 2: You would have a problem having sex.
11:56
Speaker 1: You can't have sex with this. You can't.
12:00
Speaker 2: There's guys that have dicks that.
12:01
Speaker 1: Big, I know, and I feel badly for them. There
12:04
Speaker 1: is such thing as too big. This is twenty two
12:07
Speaker 1: dollars on Amazon. It's a cocker ring. Oh oh, oh.
12:12
Speaker 2: So what do you put that on your click? And
12:14
Speaker 2: then their dick goes through the hole. Oh and then
12:16
Speaker 2: you can put you can have sex, right, Yes, that's nice.
12:21
Speaker 1: That's so niceyea, you would, I would definitely be a
12:23
Speaker 1: fan of that. Loe. Oh and then you don't have
12:24
Speaker 1: to wait. I'm buying this because then you don't have
12:27
Speaker 1: that one. You don't have to hold it, you just
12:30
Speaker 1: put the underwear on. Yeah, that's a nice vibrator has
12:33
Speaker 1: the power button. Oh, oh my god, it goes harder. Yeah,
12:36
Speaker 1: I'm done in I'm done in less than twenty one
12:39
Speaker 1: that I don't.
12:40
Speaker 2: Love the pulse that throws me off. It throws me
12:44
Speaker 2: off because then I'm.
12:44
Speaker 1: Like, in fact, I've gotten it down, like the count
12:48
Speaker 1: that I click mine, because I know if I click it,
12:52
Speaker 1: hold it one to three, perfect vibration. One more click
12:56
Speaker 1: and he goes Yeah, and when it throws the whole
13:00
Speaker 1: vibe and it pisces me off and I'm like about
13:04
Speaker 1: to come or something, and then I hit the button
13:05
Speaker 1: and it goes Guys, fuck, you have a temperamental pussy
13:16
Speaker 1: like me. Does your clip ever get a little too
13:27
Speaker 1: sensitive where you're like, okay, you can't touch it. We
13:29
Speaker 1: gotta go around the area now, because this is like
13:32
Speaker 1: making me want to squeal like a dying pig. Yeah.
13:35
Speaker 2: Like right after I come, I'm like, don't touch right there,
13:38
Speaker 2: get away.
13:41
Speaker 1: All right? Next up we have where's my silicone dildo?
13:46
Speaker 1: There's a couple of them. Okay, this is more. This
13:50
Speaker 1: is more my speed. This is very pink.
13:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
13:53
Speaker 1: Is it usually that pink and the balls and the tip?
13:56
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I don't try to look.
13:58
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh do are you one of those
14:00
Speaker 1: who doesn't like the look of a dick?
14:01
Speaker 2: No? I saw some dicks.
14:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, not all, but I'm talking about like a pretty one.
14:06
Speaker 2: Yeah.
14:07
Speaker 1: No, I like to watch. Is this big? But or
14:10
Speaker 1: is this nice size? It looks a little needle dick
14:12
Speaker 1: to me?
14:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, little, it's a little skinny, little sin Let me
14:17
Speaker 2: hold it.
14:17
Speaker 1: You can hold it.
14:19
Speaker 2: Wow, it's really hard.
14:20
Speaker 1: Does it vibrate? It's really hard, yes, Sally, we don't
14:25
Speaker 1: want to slug dick. Oh, thank you, Kendall. Oh, we
14:29
Speaker 1: know who's been using it. It's funny. Let's see how
14:37
Speaker 1: much you've got big daddy.
14:39
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, that's crazy.
14:47
Speaker 1: I wonder if it does. I don't like that. I
14:51
Speaker 1: wanted to go. You want to do this a whirl?
14:55
Speaker 1: Hit all the walls, baby, there's four walls up in
14:59
Speaker 1: this bitch, I'm gonna mean all of them. Oh my god,
15:04
Speaker 1: look at the tip. It's like you got have you
15:11
Speaker 1: ever used anything like this? Something like this? Yeah, the
15:16
Speaker 1: one that I have at home is not as realistic,
15:20
Speaker 1: but yeah, it like goes and you can choose all
15:23
Speaker 1: the settings. But then it has like not beads, but
15:26
Speaker 1: like things around it that will start vibrating and moving.
15:29
Speaker 1: So all right, So what I'm seeing is this little
15:32
Speaker 1: pink penis this and you guys, the settings on this
15:38
Speaker 1: it can it can go like nice and slow, a
15:40
Speaker 1: little bit like usher like, but then it goes very
15:45
Speaker 1: like jackhammers, jack camers, like my hands are shaking from
15:48
Speaker 1: holding it, you guys, truthfully, with a toy like these,
15:52
Speaker 1: who needs a deal?
15:55
Speaker 2: I've never I've never owned one of these. You've never
15:59
Speaker 2: owned a built one time and it was like a
16:01
Speaker 2: big purple one.
16:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, mine's pink like light pink.
16:06
Speaker 2: I only got it from my ex fiance because he
16:09
Speaker 2: wanted me to.
16:10
Speaker 1: I don't know, oh, he didn't feel like he could
16:12
Speaker 1: provide what the dilto could. Mine has like it's terrible.
16:17
Speaker 1: Mine has like the little hook on it so that
16:20
Speaker 1: when it's doing it. The yeah hits the clit and vibrates. Wow,
16:26
Speaker 1: I know I.
16:26
Speaker 2: Need to explore more toys. I only have the Rose.
16:29
Speaker 1: Oh I think we have the Rose. This one doesn't
16:33
Speaker 1: have a thing on it. Oh mine doesn't have the
16:35
Speaker 1: little mini dildo either. She's cute. She is cute.
16:40
Speaker 2: See that very acid?
16:42
Speaker 1: Yeah? Mine? Just it has this part. So there's like
16:45
Speaker 1: the Rose device, which at the top is like a
16:48
Speaker 1: little suction and vibrator. But this Rose has like a
16:51
Speaker 1: cord that connects to a little insert for the actual vagina.
16:57
Speaker 1: But the Rose is amazing. Oh, this is fun.
17:03
Speaker 2: That's the one that has the button that throws me off.
17:05
Speaker 2: It has like two speeds.
17:10
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's for this. Wow, I'm okay with that.
17:14
Speaker 1: I mean it's small. How many inches would you say?
17:17
Speaker 1: That is?
17:18
Speaker 2: Four?
17:19
Speaker 1: Four? That's oh yeah, that's now we're in fucking business people.
17:24
Speaker 2: Let me, let me, let me hold this.
17:28
Speaker 1: This is like your average what what I'm never fighting
17:36
Speaker 1: dick in Charleston. Jesus because with these manhands, Look at
17:40
Speaker 1: how dwarfed it is. Are you joking me? It's like
17:44
Speaker 1: a baby hand. That's all I've encountered in this four
17:48
Speaker 1: inch dick is what you're working with. Oh, Sally, you
17:52
Speaker 1: poor thing. Not anymore, not anymore. Now we're fucking with
17:59
Speaker 1: uncircum sized dick with burner accounts. It doesn't text. We're
18:04
Speaker 1: doing so great, y'all. We've really upgraded four ine dick.
18:10
Speaker 1: I could get down with this though, Yeah, because this
18:13
Speaker 1: is not intimidating. Now, if you're intimidated by toys, I
18:15
Speaker 1: think this is a good start too, don't you agree?
18:18
Speaker 2: I would order that it's very.
18:20
Speaker 1: Hard to turn off, though. Don't do this when your
18:23
Speaker 1: kids are home or you're expecting company though, because this
18:26
Speaker 1: is not going to be a quick get off, for
18:28
Speaker 1: the mere fact that it's going to take you twenty
18:30
Speaker 1: minutes just to figure out how to turn the thing off. Yeah,
18:33
Speaker 1: there's two buttons. One has lipped, the other has like
18:36
Speaker 1: two arrows. The two arrows is for the the wiener
18:41
Speaker 1: and then the lips is for the vibrators. Can we
18:52
Speaker 1: talk about how important it is to clean your toys
18:53
Speaker 1: after you use them? Yeah? How do you cleaners? I use?
18:57
Speaker 1: I have like unscented doves soap. You can also like
19:01
Speaker 1: get online and get specific it's like literally for your vibrators.
19:08
Speaker 1: But because I do have children who could walk in
19:11
Speaker 1: at any moment in time. I like to do a
19:14
Speaker 1: double lock. I lock my bedroom door and then I
19:17
Speaker 1: lock my bathroom door, and I usually do it like
19:19
Speaker 1: in the bathtub. I'm in there with no fucking water
19:23
Speaker 1: in the bath. Drain on so that you get a cart.
19:26
Speaker 1: I have to someone gets in. It is really I'm
19:29
Speaker 1: in a vulnerable position. Turn the water on. So it's
19:33
Speaker 1: like mom's just taking a bath, you know. So I
19:36
Speaker 1: need I need quick. It's like dove soap, squirt, squirt, clean, clean, rinsey, rinsey,
19:41
Speaker 1: So you always do in the bath. I have to
19:43
Speaker 1: have ocean not at the house, because she'll come up
19:47
Speaker 1: into my room. Yeah, and I need to know that
19:50
Speaker 1: everybody is asleep.
19:52
Speaker 2: I don't put that much so into it.
19:53
Speaker 1: We don't have to because you don't have kids and
19:54
Speaker 1: a whole family living with us.
19:56
Speaker 2: I have Riley downstairs, but she's I mean, people have
19:58
Speaker 2: sent me so many to your roommate. I know she.
20:01
Speaker 1: Steals all of my toys. Oh my god, you are
20:03
Speaker 1: not shared. Like when they send them to my house.
20:07
Speaker 2: No, when they send them to my house, I got
20:11
Speaker 2: like six vibrators into my house. I come home and
20:14
Speaker 2: there's like four missing, and I'm like.
20:15
Speaker 1: Really, I literally thought you might you shared your toys. Hell,
20:21
Speaker 1: I was like, you guys really need to make sure
20:22
Speaker 1: they're clean.
20:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, we don't share.
20:25
Speaker 1: Okay, So she just steals the toys. This is a
20:27
Speaker 1: good one.
20:28
Speaker 2: All of my pr that I get, she makes TikTok.
20:32
Speaker 2: She's like, open up my roommates pr because she's never
20:34
Speaker 2: going to on tict.
20:36
Speaker 1: She's gonna start getting paid.
20:38
Speaker 2: The brands are commenting on her TikTok, they're probably like,
20:41
Speaker 2: fuck Sally.
20:43
Speaker 1: Salie, Oh my god. Okay, I'm buying this one, the
20:47
Speaker 1: rose with the title on the end, and I'm buying
20:49
Speaker 1: the underwear with the vibrator attached, which is like called
20:53
Speaker 1: the cockering. The next one that I have this is
20:57
Speaker 1: the grinding dildo. It's thirty nine dollars in seventy nine
21:00
Speaker 1: cents and look how cute it's little buttthole is?
21:04
Speaker 2: Can I put my thing on that? Sure?
21:07
Speaker 1: Oh wow?
21:08
Speaker 2: I didn't all it goes to the top. I didn't
21:10
Speaker 2: go all the way in there.
21:11
Speaker 1: What is this is good practice? I don't feel comfortable
21:15
Speaker 1: putting my feet before. I think it's just to make
21:18
Speaker 1: it realistic, or maybe you think about it being in
21:21
Speaker 1: a real man. So basically, you guys, or.
21:23
Speaker 2: Can you sit on that and then the guy they
21:25
Speaker 2: if you have a guy with you, can he put
21:27
Speaker 2: his dick in that?
21:28
Speaker 1: The guys you're fucking with, for sure could they could fit.
21:33
Speaker 1: That's true. It will fit four inch dick, Sally, So
21:36
Speaker 1: you and your partner could have a hell of a time.
21:39
Speaker 1: All right, you guys. It's like a little silicone body
21:43
Speaker 1: and the it can like sit on the ground. It's
21:46
Speaker 1: got cute tiny little balls and a butthole cut tiny
21:50
Speaker 1: little ball and then dick straight in the air. Obviously,
21:54
Speaker 1: because that's how you write it. How do I turn
21:56
Speaker 1: this thing on? Oh? I like this? You sit on it,
21:59
Speaker 1: so you would be and like you'd be on top.
22:02
Speaker 1: That's the position I would recommend doing it with like something,
22:07
Speaker 1: maybe put on some mew pads so you don't get
22:10
Speaker 1: rug burned. I guess you could do it on your bed.
22:13
Speaker 1: It's kind of hard, though. Why do I want it
22:15
Speaker 1: to like Sally wants her dick to swirl?
22:18
Speaker 2: I want it to helicopter?
22:21
Speaker 1: Wow, this guy's got it going on, because like, how
22:26
Speaker 1: many dudes can fuck you like that? That quickly? Zero
22:29
Speaker 1: being on the bottom nobody.
22:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'd look weird.
22:36
Speaker 1: It's pulsating now, like in Sally's face. Oh stop, I
22:45
Speaker 1: wouldn't like that either. Oh. It's got a lot of
22:48
Speaker 1: settings though. See that's where I like it. Consistent, consistent,
22:52
Speaker 1: and then you know what's up our game a little?
22:56
Speaker 1: And now we're hitting seven seven seven seven. There we go.
23:06
Speaker 1: Oh I'm getting this really. Yeah, it's kind of heavy,
23:12
Speaker 1: but you need it to be heavy in order for
23:13
Speaker 1: it to stay put, like on your bed. The butthole's
23:16
Speaker 1: freaking me out. I kind of like the butthole. Should
23:19
Speaker 1: we see if that tiny little penis could fit in it?
23:21
Speaker 1: Gentle lubricant? Oh, Sally, I bet you could.
23:25
Speaker 2: Yeah.
23:26
Speaker 1: See wow, he gotta buy both of them.
23:32
Speaker 2: He gotta buy both.
23:33
Speaker 1: And then yeah, because the guy's back here, and then
23:36
Speaker 1: you could just ever so slightly, you know what. You
23:38
Speaker 1: could use this on the guy's balls too. Yeah, you
23:41
Speaker 1: could put his peep in your bum. And this could
23:43
Speaker 1: be in the vagina if you're kinky like that. What
23:45
Speaker 1: do they call it? Double penetration?
23:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then where you have like one in air
23:52
Speaker 2: tight Oh no mouths available, yeah, no no holes left.
23:56
Speaker 1: This podcast is raunchy as fuck. Do not listen to
23:59
Speaker 1: this near anybody? Put your ear Yeah no, but my
24:06
Speaker 1: friends have texted me, like my older crew, and they're like,
24:08
Speaker 1: your podcast with Sally is giving me so much life.
24:11
Speaker 1: I can't listen to it around anybody because I feel
24:13
Speaker 1: super naughty. So they like go on walks around their
24:16
Speaker 1: neighborhood and put their little air pods in and just
24:20
Speaker 1: have a hell of a time. And then I'm sure
24:22
Speaker 1: they go home to their husbands and fuck them like
24:24
Speaker 1: porn stars. How could you not? All right, I'm getting
24:29
Speaker 1: this one. I like the rose This is your favorite
24:32
Speaker 1: with the underwear. Okay, So the silicone one that we
24:36
Speaker 1: talked about that has the little balls that consuction there
24:39
Speaker 1: is the tiniest. This is the one that thrusts a lot.
24:44
Speaker 2: And it's hot right now.
24:45
Speaker 1: It's getting warm. Wow. Oh when it does just vibrate too.
24:54
Speaker 2: It was a wet.
24:57
Speaker 1: Sorry I might. Oh, it does feel nic it's warm.
25:01
Speaker 2: It's very realistic. I'm looking at the p hole and it's.
25:04
Speaker 1: Very Yes, the tip is very realistic. Yeah. Does it
25:08
Speaker 1: get vein?
25:08
Speaker 2: You like this?
25:10
Speaker 1: Like blue veins? Do you know, like all dicks just
25:15
Speaker 1: sticks that look like this that are white and pink.
25:18
Speaker 1: I don't know, I only had like I like pains.
25:22
Speaker 1: I like veins too, I don't mind them. Yeah. What
25:24
Speaker 1: I like about this when you guys as your partner
25:26
Speaker 1: can get involved. Yeah, you can be sitting on the
25:30
Speaker 1: chair while you're doing whatever you're doing, be like, yeah
25:32
Speaker 1: you like that? Baby.
25:34
Speaker 2: Have you ever had threesome with two guys.
25:37
Speaker 1: Only with another girl? Have you had a threesome with
25:39
Speaker 1: two men. No, I don't know that that's super common.
25:43
Speaker 1: Have you had a threesome with two chicks? No, you
25:46
Speaker 1: had it with another chick in that one time in Canada.
25:49
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, Yeah, but you weren't into it. Not really.
25:52
Speaker 1: Now I feel like my threesome days are kind of over. Yeah.
25:56
Speaker 2: I don't think I'll have another one unless it's like
25:58
Speaker 2: really probably will.
26:05
Speaker 1: Sally? I am obsessed with you. Can I tell you
26:15
Speaker 1: what my daughter told me yesterday? What she comes home
26:18
Speaker 1: from Miami and her dad has a girlfriend or a fiance,
26:22
Speaker 1: maybe even a wife. I don't even know what she
26:23
Speaker 1: is to him, but she goes, I told blank about
26:27
Speaker 1: your friend, mom, And I go about what friend she was,
26:32
Speaker 1: you know, the friend that shited her pants.
26:36
Speaker 2: No she didn't. Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
26:40
Speaker 1: I know. I was like, I started cackling. That is
26:43
Speaker 1: so then I have to teach her not to say
26:44
Speaker 1: the ship was word. Yeah, And I'm like, did you
26:47
Speaker 1: tell her that my friend pooped herself or did you
26:49
Speaker 1: use that word? And she goes, no, I said shit,
26:52
Speaker 1: my mom's friend shit herself. So my I don't know
26:57
Speaker 1: who else my daughter has told.
26:59
Speaker 2: Your daughter is telling every when I shit myself? Yeah,
27:01
Speaker 2: I have poop issues.
27:02
Speaker 1: And do you realize my daughters starts school next week
27:04
Speaker 1: and I really don't need her going to school telling
27:07
Speaker 1: people that.
27:08
Speaker 2: She's one thousand percent going to I mean, kids are.
27:11
Speaker 1: Just I know, but Sally, she can't be dropping the
27:13
Speaker 1: shit word, which means she's listening to me. Yeah, I mean,
27:19
Speaker 1: because I wouldn't even lie. After we recorded that episode,
27:21
Speaker 1: I told everyone that would listen. I told everyone, So
27:26
Speaker 1: I'm like, and it wasn't even about the pooping part.
27:29
Speaker 1: It was the fact that he was still willing to
27:31
Speaker 1: fly you out. Yeah, that's well.
27:32
Speaker 2: I don't think he knew. I texted him the other
27:35
Speaker 2: day and he didn't respond, so.
27:37
Speaker 1: Maybe he knows, now, Okay, like okay, and he still does.
27:41
Speaker 2: Maybe it's normal because he didn't respond because he probably
27:45
Speaker 2: knows I shit myself out.
27:46
Speaker 1: Of all of these devices, which one is a NA
27:49
Speaker 1: and one said, which one is a ya?
27:52
Speaker 2: I can't handle that big dick.
27:54
Speaker 1: The uncircumcised is a no go. It's a no go.
27:56
Speaker 2: Maybe if it was a little smaller, because I do
27:58
Speaker 2: like the uncircumcu's penis.
28:00
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with it being uncircumcised. It
28:02
Speaker 1: has to do with it's the size of a horse.
28:04
Speaker 2: It's the size of my forum. I have people defending
28:07
Speaker 2: me online right now because they're you know, some people
28:08
Speaker 2: are like, oh.
28:09
Speaker 1: Bravo Bravo's bicycle. Yeah, like fuck off, what does that mean?
28:14
Speaker 2: Like everyone's taking a ride?
28:15
Speaker 1: No one rides bikes anymore. Yeah, they should call you
28:22
Speaker 1: at least that's what everyone thinks.
28:24
Speaker 2: But no. Someone responded and was like, like some guy
28:27
Speaker 2: was like in a comment and said that something about
28:31
Speaker 2: my vagina being mangled and not that guy loose and
28:36
Speaker 2: all this stuff. That guy and this girl replied back
28:38
Speaker 2: and she was like do you even know how vagina works?
28:41
Speaker 2: Like are you gonna say this about a girl that
28:43
Speaker 2: s fucked her husband five hundred times? Because I was.
28:46
Speaker 1: Like, thank you, and has six kids. Yeah, I'm like,
28:49
Speaker 1: fuck you man, that doesn't affect you, right no?
28:52
Speaker 2: I blocked them.
28:53
Speaker 1: No, But people saying that about you, that doesn't affect you,
28:56
Speaker 1: right no.
28:57
Speaker 2: Because like they'll list the guys that I've been with
28:58
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, this is over a span of
29:01
Speaker 2: like they still bring up shep like that was five
29:04
Speaker 2: years ago, six years ago.
29:05
Speaker 1: But you're supposed to go out let have fun, yeah,
29:09
Speaker 1: and sleep, like that's the whole point. But you you
29:12
Speaker 1: get locked down and you've only been with a handful
29:14
Speaker 1: of men and like that's it forever. Yeah, Like I
29:18
Speaker 1: think I've I think I I run into dudes and go,
29:24
Speaker 1: oh my god, I fucked that guy. Adam to the list.
29:28
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with you having a
29:31
Speaker 1: healthy sex life. I don't either. That's the whole point
29:33
Speaker 1: of this podcast is everyone is so I know, Dodos sucks.
29:40
Speaker 1: Atal I'm like, calm down, literally, calm everyone, calm.
29:45
Speaker 2: The only difference is like all these girls are doing it,
29:47
Speaker 2: they're just not talking about it.
29:48
Speaker 1: Well that's what I know. But this is how we
29:51
Speaker 1: bond because we all go through these things and like
29:53
Speaker 1: that one was too small. Have you ever sucked an
29:56
Speaker 1: uncircumcised one. Yeah, it's such a huge part of life
29:58
Speaker 1: that it needs to be talked to that. And I
30:01
Speaker 1: noticed that I start getting like a little angst and
30:04
Speaker 1: a little depressed and a little all over the place
30:07
Speaker 1: if I have not gotten off in a while, like
30:12
Speaker 1: if it's been yeah, because you know, my older daughter
30:15
Speaker 1: sleeps with me every night, so I have to really
30:19
Speaker 1: be strategic about my window of sex or masturbating. And
30:25
Speaker 1: there are times where I'm like, oh my god, it's
30:26
Speaker 1: been like a week and I'm gonna lose my mind.
30:31
Speaker 1: It's a part of your health, it is.
30:33
Speaker 2: I agree, we have needs.
30:34
Speaker 1: We all have needs.
30:35
Speaker 2: That's why we have toys.
30:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. And man, but as long as it doesn't
30:42
Speaker 1: affect you what they say about you, No, I've never
30:45
Speaker 1: seen that. But I also live in a bubble. And
30:47
Speaker 1: when we talked about Chase Crawford, I was like, not
30:49
Speaker 1: the guy that was engaged in Miiley Cyrus?
30:52
Speaker 2: Who is that Liam Hymns's own?
30:54
Speaker 1: Yeah they all look very similar, right, Yeah, Yeah.
31:01
Speaker 2: You don't like that, that's not your type. If you
31:03
Speaker 2: put all my guys next to each other or like
31:06
Speaker 2: the past guys that I've had, you'd be like, what
31:09
Speaker 2: the fuck? This girl's all over the board. Like I'm like,
31:12
Speaker 2: I've got like basic you know, frat dudes. Yeah, I've
31:16
Speaker 2: got ghost who's just chatted and pierced from head to toe.
31:21
Speaker 1: Oh, he's got a lot of piercings. He's got a
31:22
Speaker 1: lot of piercings where on his face that would make
31:26
Speaker 1: me nauseous. Holes in your face makes me nauseous. What
31:30
Speaker 1: does he have an eyebrow? Rank?
31:32
Speaker 2: Have I not shown you a picture?
31:34
Speaker 1: No? Does he have one here? I don't think so.
31:36
Speaker 1: I remember being at a funeral as a young, young
31:39
Speaker 1: child and the guy in front of me had a
31:43
Speaker 1: bar through his eyebrow, and I fixated on it to
31:46
Speaker 1: the point where I had to go to the bathroom.
31:49
Speaker 1: I was young, and I had to throw up. You're kidding,
31:51
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I used to have my nose pierced.
31:53
Speaker 1: Nose is cute. Yeah, I'm glad you don't anymore.
31:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, But yeah, I mean, and then there's like,
32:00
Speaker 2: you know, can I see a picture? Yeah?
32:02
Speaker 1: Before we continue?
32:03
Speaker 2: I don't have many, because you know, he makes me
32:04
Speaker 2: to lete them.
32:06
Speaker 1: Sally. The flags are waving and they are blood red.
32:11
Speaker 2: Oh, my god.
32:15
Speaker 1: Sally, he makes you delete photos of him?
32:20
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because he's he's gone.
32:26
Speaker 1: Look, am I the only one in this room who's
32:28
Speaker 1: freaking out for you? This guy's about to fuck up
32:32
Speaker 1: your whole world. And I'm not joking.
32:34
Speaker 2: Let me show you the other one.
32:35
Speaker 1: He's very hot and he's holding a puppy, and I
32:37
Speaker 1: can tell that he eats cookie like a champ. He's
32:40
Speaker 1: about to fuck your world up. I'm not kidding. I
32:43
Speaker 1: think you need to be very, very careful as your friend.
32:47
Speaker 1: I feel compelled to tell you that preparing to be
32:49
Speaker 1: in a hole, you're not going to be able to
32:51
Speaker 1: record the podcast for me personally. Tattoos, I'm all about.
32:56
Speaker 1: You can have a face full of tattoos, just not
32:59
Speaker 1: whole in the face. But has he talked about getting
33:04
Speaker 1: because he's really ted? You think he would get your
33:08
Speaker 1: name or something?
33:09
Speaker 2: I think he would do something for me if we
33:10
Speaker 2: like ended up together.
33:11
Speaker 1: Would you do something for him? Maybe a little ghost
33:15
Speaker 1: even right now, like not being void.
33:17
Speaker 2: Because then I'll be like, oh, I just like Halloween.
33:22
Speaker 1: She's already planned it out. That's how I know it's
33:24
Speaker 1: going to end badly.
33:26
Speaker 2: Help me.
33:28
Speaker 1: You know I have two cover ups of my of
33:30
Speaker 1: my ex. Oh you do. Yeah, that's the whole reason
33:33
Speaker 1: I have a lion on my arm to cover up
33:37
Speaker 1: in the beard. It has an R and an E.
33:40
Speaker 1: You're kidding, Yeah, no, I'm not kidding. So the only
33:43
Speaker 1: way to cover it. That's why I have the lion.
33:44
Speaker 1: And then I got his name again and I had
33:49
Speaker 1: to change it into brand new.
33:51
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I feel like I would just accept
33:55
Speaker 2: it and be like, yeah, that.
33:55
Speaker 1: Was no, not wanna come. No, I don't think he's
33:59
Speaker 1: gonna do anything that bad to me. No, well, he's
34:02
Speaker 1: definitely not gonna do what we won't even bring him up.
34:05
Speaker 2: Watch me, Mary go simprove all of you, walm.
34:07
Speaker 1: You, Mary goes and have a baby with him. You're
34:10
Speaker 1: I love you. You're You're gonna be in a world
34:13
Speaker 1: of hurt. I have a really not great feeling. Oh god,
34:16
Speaker 1: I went from having the best feeling. He's like over there.
34:20
Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah, you don't even know him.
34:24
Speaker 1: It made sense at the beginning with not being able
34:27
Speaker 1: to share him, but now he's making you delete videos,
34:29
Speaker 1: he's bailing last minute. He doesn't text, he doesn't like texting,
34:33
Speaker 1: he doesn't have social media.
34:34
Speaker 2: Okay, so he has a girlfriend. No, I'm asking.
34:39
Speaker 1: He might have a girl, he might have a lot
34:40
Speaker 1: of girlfriends in one main chick, I'm kind of freaking
34:44
Speaker 1: out for you because even the guy I was dating
34:48
Speaker 1: was less sketchy than this guy. I think it's sketchy
34:51
Speaker 1: because of his job. Right.
34:53
Speaker 2: No, I'm convincing myself. I'm doing the thing.
34:56
Speaker 1: I'm doing the thing where I convince myself it's normal.
34:59
Speaker 1: It's not normal.
35:00
Speaker 2: Because I was with him in New York and he
35:03
Speaker 2: was texting. He was, yeah, I have a video of
35:08
Speaker 2: him texting because I was like, send it to my roommate.
35:11
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, he fucking texts. Just nuff me.
35:15
Speaker 2: He was like, and I was like, who are you texting?
35:18
Speaker 1: Is its work? He's like, I always respond to work. Okay,
35:21
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. As much as you were,
35:23
Speaker 1: let me suck richer, man, all right, you should be
35:26
Speaker 1: a lot fucking richer. Where's my private jet in my yacht?
35:29
Speaker 1: For as much as you're working.
35:31
Speaker 2: That's tex He works like eighteen hours a day.
35:35
Speaker 1: I don't give one fuck. I'm screwed. Let me tell you.
35:43
Speaker 1: There was a moment that I was like, yeah, work,
35:48
Speaker 1: like totally valid. Excuse and like, you can't argue with
35:51
Speaker 1: the working thing, right, yeah? Yeah, And then my brother said, Lauren,
35:57
Speaker 1: even Bezos has wife and had time to court her
35:59
Speaker 1: and do all the things and text her and call her.
36:02
Speaker 1: Everyone's fucking Amazon, that's true. What is this guy doing?
36:07
Speaker 1: We can't say, we can't say anything. We can't say anything, right, right,
36:12
Speaker 1: The guy I was seeing was in the line of travel,
36:14
Speaker 1: but yet could never travel to me. How weird is that?
36:18
Speaker 1: Is that weird? Weird and weird. I didn't take it
36:21
Speaker 1: as a red flag because I'm like, oh, but he's.
36:23
Speaker 2: Because I'm only traveling.
36:25
Speaker 1: Really, we got a real fucking problem on our hands. Guys,
36:32
Speaker 1: A toy will never do your journey. Do it all times.
36:36
Speaker 1: You know they're not sleeping with other people because they're
36:39
Speaker 1: in your drawer.
36:39
Speaker 2: This is why you don't cancel the roster.
36:42
Speaker 1: Did you cancel the roster already? Yeah?
36:45
Speaker 2: Fuck shit.
36:50
Speaker 1: Shit, But I mean I could get them back easily.
36:54
Speaker 1: I think you need to fuck the football player again.
36:56
Speaker 1: There's nothing better than an athlete to get you out
36:59
Speaker 1: of Yeah, ghost, that would be easy, That would be easy.
37:03
Speaker 1: Our face just staring into the abyss. I'm not sad
37:08
Speaker 1: you need to go make you need to go make
37:10
Speaker 1: out with Austin. Oh my god. That's at the beginning
37:13
Speaker 1: of the podcast. I was telling can I say this?
37:17
Speaker 1: I was telling her, don't entertain Austin. He wants you
37:22
Speaker 1: because he can't have you. You've got your guy Ghost.
37:27
Speaker 1: And she goes, well, there's red flags with Ghost and
37:29
Speaker 1: I was like, tell me more. And now here we
37:31
Speaker 1: are and I'm now going to say, I think you
37:33
Speaker 1: should entertain Austin a bit.
37:36
Speaker 2: I mean, Austin's always kind of entertained, okay, because we're
37:41
Speaker 2: like really good friends.
37:42
Speaker 1: Didn't this guy tell you he doesn't want you to
37:43
Speaker 1: talk to him anymore?
37:45
Speaker 2: I mean, he just doesn't want me as like cozy
37:47
Speaker 2: with him, like mountain God.
37:50
Speaker 1: Starting to isolate you. No, no, no, no, I feel
37:54
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna throw up.
37:57
Speaker 2: He's fine with my friendship with Austin, but I mean,
38:01
Speaker 2: I guess it was kind of I mean, I did
38:03
Speaker 2: just spend a weekend in the mountains with him.
38:06
Speaker 1: With Austin. Has the conversation been had with Ghosts that
38:09
Speaker 1: you guys will not sleep with other people? Yes? Oh,
38:13
Speaker 1: and you haven't since I have not, You're gonna need
38:16
Speaker 1: to do that.
38:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just need to have a conversation with him.
38:20
Speaker 1: I think you need to call him out on all
38:21
Speaker 1: of his bullshit. I tried to what is he saying?
38:24
Speaker 2: I was telling me you have a secret Instagram when
38:27
Speaker 2: he said if you're looking at Mountins and he's like no, no, no,
38:29
Speaker 2: and then he says his brother Saul, Okay, don't don't.
38:34
Speaker 1: Don't you guys. Now, I know how people look at
38:37
Speaker 1: me when I'm talking.
38:38
Speaker 2: Okay, everything's fine, everything's fine.
38:43
Speaker 1: Is your heart involved? That's what I need to know. Yeah, yeah,
38:47
Speaker 1: we're pretty fucked. Yeah, but.
38:51
Speaker 2: My heart is involved all the time. So every time,
39:00
Speaker 2: not every time, but a lot of times. So like
39:02
Speaker 2: I could easily, like if he hurts me, I could
39:05
Speaker 2: easily like have my heart involved with someone the next week.
39:09
Speaker 1: It's a problem. I love you, it's so fucking much.
39:15
Speaker 1: It's my heart lives in my vagina vagina. You know,
39:23
Speaker 1: as long as they don't love bombing, I'm fine. But see,
39:27
Speaker 1: I don't want the ones that are healthy.
39:29
Speaker 2: I like love.
39:30
Speaker 1: I know that's what we have to work on. And
39:32
Speaker 1: we should bring a therapist onto the podcast just to
39:35
Speaker 1: kind of talk through our issues. Yeah, because we have
39:38
Speaker 1: a lot Yeah, Can I tell you what I kind
39:41
Speaker 1: of want to do, you guys with that giant dick?
39:43
Speaker 1: What I want to put it in my mom's carry
39:45
Speaker 1: on when she goes to Ohio. Show you have to
39:50
Speaker 1: without her knowing?
39:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to.
39:52
Speaker 1: I'll tell Easton and have him video. Oh my, oh
39:55
Speaker 1: my god, can I take it? I'm doing it her.
39:59
Speaker 1: My mom's going to a Ohio with my brother because Easton,
40:02
Speaker 1: my brother, plays on a gay softball team. M hm,
40:05
Speaker 1: he's their token straight and they're going to the World
40:08
Speaker 1: Series in Ohio. Oh fine, I know, but I have
40:12
Speaker 1: to do it to my mom. Yeah, I think that
40:13
Speaker 1: would be hilarious. Would you rather your mom or your
40:18
Speaker 1: ex find one of these toys? My ex? Yeah, I
40:23
Speaker 1: don't mean my mom knowing what's being stuck at me. No.
40:27
Speaker 1: Do we read the instructions or follow our hearts with toys? Oh?
40:30
Speaker 2: I never read the instruction.
40:31
Speaker 1: I've never read them either. But some of these are
40:33
Speaker 1: a little complex. So if you order any of these,
40:36
Speaker 1: I think you need to read read it. The uh
40:39
Speaker 1: read the instructions. Yeah, could you make eye contact with
40:42
Speaker 1: someone while using this? I'm cringing thinking about it, you
40:50
Speaker 1: know what, with the right person because I can get
40:53
Speaker 1: real comfortable. Yeah. No, I couldn't, and I love that feeling.
40:56
Speaker 2: There's like a couple people, well yeah, like I'm I'm
41:00
Speaker 2: so weirdly comfortable with ghosts and that's like I could.
41:02
Speaker 2: I could do it in front of him.
41:04
Speaker 1: If you don't show up to this podcast because your
41:07
Speaker 1: heart broken on the floor and they pissed, yeah, no,
41:10
Speaker 1: I'll just.
41:10
Speaker 2: Cry through it.
41:11
Speaker 1: You'll cry through the episode. Yeah, you know. That is
41:13
Speaker 1: what's really great about podcasting is like I did one
41:16
Speaker 1: with Amber for Unlikely Affair, and we had a topic
41:20
Speaker 1: we were going to stick to, which was just about
41:22
Speaker 1: like parenting teenagers. Yeah, and she had just caught her
41:26
Speaker 1: dude cheating on her because he was telling her he
41:30
Speaker 1: was in one place. The problem is he forgot he
41:32
Speaker 1: shared his location, which I'll let her tell the story,
41:34
Speaker 1: but he just found out. He just realized for like
41:37
Speaker 1: a month, what an idiot. And so the whole podcast.
41:41
Speaker 1: I asked her before we started, do you need a
41:43
Speaker 1: spiral and loop on this? She was like, no, we
41:45
Speaker 1: can stick to the topic. We didn't stick to the topic.
41:47
Speaker 1: That's what the podcast is for. Yeah, sort through our issues,
41:51
Speaker 1: ye and entertaining people yep. All right. Final verdict on
41:55
Speaker 1: the toys night stand ord garbage can okay, Well, first
41:58
Speaker 1: of all, some of the toys you can't even fit
42:01
Speaker 1: in your nightstand. Yeah, like that big giant wiener. Yeah,
42:05
Speaker 1: you can hit the one stand with the butthole, Well,
42:08
Speaker 1: the one with the butthole. I would feel most comfortable
42:11
Speaker 1: putting this one in like a safe because this is intense. Yeah,
42:14
Speaker 1: that one's intense. You can't close a drawer with that.
42:18
Speaker 2: No, you could just even the other one. I'll just
42:20
Speaker 2: keep that in my shower stick. The other one shower wall.
42:23
Speaker 1: Oh that's Genie. Nobody goes in my shower sally. Yeah,
42:29
Speaker 1: that's Genie, and it's there for you when you're showering.
42:31
Speaker 1: I can't do that, but you could do that. You
42:33
Speaker 1: should do that.
42:34
Speaker 2: I haven't been to my shower.
42:36
Speaker 1: The only one that I wasn't into is the big
42:39
Speaker 1: one is the massive one. It's like, that's a fun
42:42
Speaker 1: gag gift. You give that to someone to laugh about, Like,
42:45
Speaker 1: I'll probably have to order another one. I could put
42:48
Speaker 1: my mouth around that thing. Are you joking? Your liking
42:50
Speaker 1: is massive?
42:51
Speaker 2: I do.
42:52
Speaker 1: There is a sick part of me that wants to
42:54
Speaker 1: try it.
42:55
Speaker 2: I know you should just to see take it and
42:57
Speaker 2: report back.
42:58
Speaker 1: But I can't use it. Then put it in my
42:59
Speaker 1: mom's suit. Can just clean it, Just clean it. Make
43:04
Speaker 1: sure you get a cute tip.
43:05
Speaker 2: For the foreskin.
43:06
Speaker 1: For the foreskin. Give it to ghost, have him clean
43:09
Speaker 1: it for me.
43:10
Speaker 2: Put it up, ghost ass, I'm just kidding.
43:15
Speaker 1: This is your punishment for starking me.
43:20
Speaker 2: Turn around and find over.
43:22
Speaker 1: Sit in the corner, motherfucker. On all fours, look at
43:25
Speaker 1: the wall. Are we using solo or with a partner?
43:29
Speaker 1: The the cock ring, the one who has the vibrator
43:33
Speaker 1: In the underwear situation, you definitely need a partner. Yes,
43:37
Speaker 1: but you know what, I also like the the dildo
43:40
Speaker 1: with a partner, because not the one with the butthole,
43:44
Speaker 1: the pink one, the.
43:46
Speaker 3: It's on your feet or stick dick. Oh it's got fun,
43:55
Speaker 3: you guys. I put it on this rug and this spot.
43:59
Speaker 3: Now it looks very real. My worst nightmare in.
44:04
Speaker 1: The light seeing that is when I lose my mind.
44:08
Speaker 2: Like, hey, Betty, you got some lin on your balls.
44:12
Speaker 1: I like the idea of using this with a partner too,
44:15
Speaker 1: because they can control it. Yeah, that's fun. I like
44:18
Speaker 1: things that are like coupley have you ever used the
44:22
Speaker 1: vibrating underwear with the remote. You should do that with
44:25
Speaker 1: ghosts before you break up with him. Isn't there like
44:27
Speaker 1: a because he's shady? I think?
44:30
Speaker 2: Isn't there like a long distance vibrating one.
44:35
Speaker 1: I don't know how long to like where while he's
44:37
Speaker 1: in Miami he can just press.
44:38
Speaker 2: It like on his phone. I think there's something.
44:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, and then that's fun. That is fun. That's fun.
44:49
Speaker 1: You can do each other higher setting control it orgasm
44:57
Speaker 1: potential ratings. I do not think I'm having an orgasm
45:02
Speaker 1: with any of the ones that don't vibrate the clip,
45:04
Speaker 1: So I think I'm only orgasming if with the the
45:07
Speaker 1: rose with the little four insurance. Yeah, I agree.
45:13
Speaker 2: I can't with just a dick in my vigina.
45:16
Speaker 1: No, not with just penetration. That's why I have to
45:18
Speaker 1: get on. Some people can, though I know they're very lucky.
45:22
Speaker 1: Some people come really hard during anal. And I've never
45:25
Speaker 1: done anal, but I'm like, that's I wonder if that
45:27
Speaker 1: would happen for.
45:28
Speaker 2: Me maybe, And it's a different orgasm.
45:31
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Just feels different? Oh?
45:33
Speaker 2: Does yeah?
45:34
Speaker 1: Oh it's nice. You know, I'm gonna let the right
45:38
Speaker 1: guy enter that area. Yeah, I haven't done any in
45:41
Speaker 1: a long time. Does Ghost ever ask for it?
45:45
Speaker 2: No, he made a joke about it once. I think
45:47
Speaker 2: he was just like catching to see how would feel.
45:48
Speaker 2: I was like, it, do you want to do that?
45:52
Speaker 2: But I don't really like the idea of an uncircumcised.
45:54
Speaker 1: Dick in my That's all I can think about. That's
45:57
Speaker 1: all it's about, because whatever is up there is gonna
46:01
Speaker 1: be under there like a dirty fingernail.
46:05
Speaker 2: Just gagged thinking about it.
46:08
Speaker 1: No no entry in the booty holes there.
46:11
Speaker 2: You guys, thank.
46:15
Speaker 1: You for listening to another raunchy episode of Sex Unlocked.
46:19
Speaker 1: I hope that you learned a lot about our epic toys.
46:22
Speaker 1: Go out there, have lots of sex. Remember to protect yourselves.
46:24
Speaker 1: We love you. We'll catch you next week. Bye bye,