Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 62: Self-Discovery: Get to Know Yourself Beyond Your Achievements

Transcript

62: Self-Discovery: Get to Know Yourself Beyond Your Achievements · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Polly Mertens: hey, superstars welcome back Polly here and sam what's up?
• 0:31
  Polly Mertens: beautiful humans, howdy, howdy guys so today, this is going to be a little little different.
• 0:36
  Polly Mertens: We oftentimes we go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, but today I think we're going to do a little more me sharing, but why don't you talk about where we're going today?
• 0:44
  Polly Mertens: What are we up to?
• 0:44
  Samantha Pruitt: A little less banter and a little more.
• 0:47
  Polly Mertens: There will probably still be banter.
• 0:48
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I don't think we can.
• 0:49
  Polly Mertens: Who are we kidding?
• 0:50
  Polly Mertens: Yeah?
• 0:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, we want to talk specifically about personal growth or personal development work, and you and I were trying to come up with sort of our tagline for the show, but it kept evolving into other things.
• 1:05
  Samantha Pruitt: Some people call this personal enlightenment or spiritual work.
• 1:08
  Samantha Pruitt: Some people just call it the work you know.
• 1:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Some people call it personal development.
• 1:13
  Samantha Pruitt: How do you see this kind of work?
• 1:16
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, well, we were talking about like, like, the joking with the line was going to be personal development, dot dot dot.
• 1:21
  Polly Mertens: You know the path to enlightenment, dot dot dot.
• 1:23
  Polly Mertens: Going to be personal development, dot dot dot.
• 1:25
  Polly Mertens: You know the path to enlightenment, dot dot dot.
• 1:27
  Polly Mertens: Sort of you know, or like kind of you know and like, uh, it's you know.
• 1:33
  Polly Mertens: You could call it rediscovering who you are.
• 1:35
  Polly Mertens: I think that's really what, as I do, you know, I mean, how many years I've been doing this probably 20, 2008, 2009, something now, maybe something like that, probably coming up on 15 years of learning more about who.
• 1:47
  Polly Mertens: I am right, you know, I mean I was definitely.
• 1:50
  Polly Mertens: I mean, like you, I love studying, love learning, love growth, um, and I find that some of the most effective time I have spent is learning about my like.
• 2:00
  Polly Mertens: I spend a lot of time.
• 2:00
  Polly Mertens: I got like like I know a lot about business and marketing and SEO and you know all that stuff, and that was great.
• 2:08
  Polly Mertens: You know that makes me effective in running businesses and things like that and the running of my life.
• 2:13
  Polly Mertens: The human, yeah, the human being that's exactly behind all this, you know, and isn't that a weird?
• 2:19
  Samantha Pruitt: thought Well, isn't that a weird thought.
• 2:20
  Samantha Pruitt: How much people invest time, money, energy, education, experience, jobs, professional life, whatever in understanding the world and how it works in business and how do I make money, and how little time they spend on the knowing of the self.
• 2:40
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, what's up with that?
• 2:46
  Polly Mertens: Why are we teaching that in school, what the heck's going on around here?
• 2:47
  Polly Mertens: Well, you're just triggering for me.
• 2:48
  Polly Mertens: It's so funny you should bring it to this that this reminded me.
• 2:50
  Polly Mertens: So I, you know I was teaching business planning and how to start a business.
• 2:55
  Polly Mertens: You know, I taught that for years in our local uh and and when I first started teaching how to start a business, write a business plan, you know, get your business off the ground through our local nonprofit, you know, I was handed a book of work like here's the material, if you will, I was like, oh okay, here's all the material.
• 3:12
  Polly Mertens: And quickly I was like we have to expand this.
• 3:15
  Polly Mertens: You know, like this is, this is like kindergarten for where I want to take these classes, you know.
• 3:20
  Polly Mertens: So like boom.
• 3:21
  Polly Mertens: And you know, by the third year it was like all my content we rebranded and all this stuff and I was like, but what I really got is just by the doing of teaching, ie every, not every night, but you know, every week.
• 3:33
  Polly Mertens: As I was teaching the classes, I was on my own personal development journey.
• 3:37
  Polly Mertens: This was actually kind of not new in that part, but I was newer, if you will.
• 3:41
  Polly Mertens: So I was on a big trajectory right Meaning like several times a year.
• 3:47
  Polly Mertens: I was traveling for tons of miles, maybe across the country, other countries, whatever, learning about myself, and I would weave that in Just naturally.
• 3:56
  Polly Mertens: It was something I couldn't help and I found that my students were more curious about that.
• 4:02
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, they would write up and wouldn't write a friggin business plan.
• 4:06
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, yeah, I mean, you know, go figure Go figure right.
• 4:10
  Polly Mertens: But the more I wove in what I was learning and I just teach them little nuggets about themselves and things like that, they still you know, I've run into them today and they still thank me for some of those things that I shared, not just about you know starting their business, but how to be the person behind the business too, right?
• 4:27
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, you are giving them permission to explore things called themselves Like what is it that goes on in my brain?
• 4:37
  Samantha Pruitt: What kind of, you know, person do I want to be in the world?
• 4:40
  Samantha Pruitt: Never mind what kind of business would I start and attach myself to.
• 4:43
  Samantha Pruitt: But like, why, what's my intention for my life?
• 4:46
  Samantha Pruitt: What's my intention and my purpose, and all of those kinds of things.
• 4:49
  Samantha Pruitt: When I started, way back in the day, it was called leadership training.
• 4:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah yeah, personal development.
• 4:55
  Samantha Pruitt: That was so woo woo.
• 4:56
  Samantha Pruitt: Listen, the hippies were doing that in the bushes.
• 4:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, I don't know what was going on over there or they were psychedelics and things like that, but I was more in this traditional vein and schooling and whatever.
• 5:09
  Samantha Pruitt: And it was you know leadership, which is amazing I mean radical by the way to see women like starting to get into leadership and then it took quite a long time before it was women in leadership.
• 5:17
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh, women, you know like.
• 5:21
  Polly Mertens: OK, sorry, how old am I we're?
• 5:23
  Samantha Pruitt: dating ourselves, but yeah, okay, we're dating ourselves, but yeah, but in those spaces is where I first found hey, this is personal development work yeah right, like I'm thinking about myself as a human being, not just how to lead other people.
• 5:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, that might serve a purpose in business or in community or whatever, but like who the hell is this?
• 5:41
  Polly Mertens: person, yeah, and leadership is a part of it.
• 5:44
  Polly Mertens: Leadership really takes a look at like a human being, right?
• 5:51
  Polly Mertens: Like how are you being in your business or your group or your team or whatever?
• 5:53
  Polly Mertens: Right?
• 5:53
  Polly Mertens: And leadership is?
• 5:54
  Polly Mertens: I'd say leadership is self-leadership.
• 5:56
  Polly Mertens: Right, you know you're self-managing, you're self-leading, so you're obviously learning things about.
• 6:01
  Polly Mertens: Well, it's supposed to be.
• 6:02
  Samantha Pruitt: You can't lead other people if you have no idea how the hell to lead your own life.
• 6:07
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, how many of those jobs have you had, by the way, where you worked for that person?
• 6:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Wait, you're in charge of me.
• 6:13
  Samantha Pruitt: That's the yaks.
• 6:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah for sure we digress.
• 6:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Let's get back on the train of you and your personal growth work.
• 6:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, I hope that helps.
• 6:24
  Polly Mertens: You started many moons ago, yeah, and you've done a few different things, yeah, and you know, one of the things you were asking me is, like, you know the modalities and things like that, right, and so I would just share a couple of things that I've done over the years.
• 6:38
  Polly Mertens: You know, my personal growth has looked a little bit like my health and fitness journey, right.
• 6:44
  Polly Mertens: Personal growth has looked a little bit like my health and fitness journey, right, or my training journey, right.
• 6:47
  Polly Mertens: So I could say that you know, I started out with cardio on treadmills and stuff, you know, lifting a little bit of weights here and there, just on my own, whatever, and then got into more advanced, you know, taking classes and getting more improved and then finding focus.
• 7:02
  Polly Mertens: And then, oh, there's a race, oh, I'll do some 10Ks and half marathons and then Spartans, and you know, and then it just really got to elite level.
• 7:10
  Polly Mertens: You know it's like, okay, I'm really growing as a human being and there's no secret that that's probably the personal development behind that was driving a lot of that being the best physical shape I could be as well, right.
• 7:25
  Samantha Pruitt: So that's interesting to think about.
• 7:26
  Samantha Pruitt: That natural progression um makes sense as you compare these different aspects of this humaning that you're up to in the world.
• 7:35
  Samantha Pruitt: But also it started with a basic curiosity yeah, yeah, all of these things you know a curiosity of can I do this better?
• 7:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Can I feel better?
• 7:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Can I perform better?
• 7:46
  Samantha Pruitt: Can I think better?
• 7:49
  Samantha Pruitt: Can I be more fully myself, more fully evolved, can I be more?
• 7:52
  Samantha Pruitt: It started was 20 years down, a dark hole of addiction, you know.
• 8:06
  Polly Mertens: So I was not living my best life, my best self, and it was just kind of like turning the pages of the calendar, you know, like that's.
• 8:13
  Polly Mertens: That's about how it felt, you know, and not even great, you know.
• 8:17
  Polly Mertens: There was all the shame that I was living with, masking it, naturally, you know.
• 8:22
  Polly Mertens: And then personal so how I was entrayed into this.
• 8:27
  Polly Mertens: I met this woman who's now been a lifelong friend and she had done something called the Landmark Forum, which we've talked about before, and she just talked so freely and I could just see expression Like I didn't know what it was, I didn't know how to just like.
• 8:42
  Polly Mertens: I literally said I don't know what.
• 8:45
  Polly Mertens: You, how are you, how do you know the things that you know, or whatever.
• 8:48
  Polly Mertens: However, you know, I'm so steeped in it now.
• 8:51
  Samantha Pruitt: Why are you?
• 8:52
  Polly Mertens: so wise.
• 8:53
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, that's what you want to say.
• 8:54
  Polly Mertens: I was like you're awesome, how did, how did this come about?
• 8:56
  Polly Mertens: And she's like, well, I did this thing six months ago called Landmark Front.
• 8:59
  Polly Mertens: I was like I don't know what it is, but I'm going, I'm going to that thing.
• 9:02
  Polly Mertens: And that's all I knew was like she has her life working and she is, you know, just this, learning about herself.
• 9:11
  Polly Mertens: And I had my eyes opened in one weekend, like just the consciousness veil was lifted, let's just say that.
• 9:17
  Polly Mertens: Like I literally stopped living in the asleepness of the dream called like a life, that I thought I was just a human being and I was like, oh, there's something else going on here.
• 9:29
  Polly Mertens: Wait a minute.
• 9:30
  Polly Mertens: Right, once you open that, it's like popping champagne.
• 9:33
  Polly Mertens: You can't get the cork back in.
• 9:34
  Polly Mertens: You know.
• 9:34
  Polly Mertens: It's like all right, we're doing this thing.
• 9:37
  Polly Mertens: And it just started to grow my life, change my life, improve my life in so many ways because I was transforming on the inside out.
• 9:48
  Polly Mertens: I just was like, okay, more of this, please, more of this, and I would take different.
• 9:52
  Polly Mertens: So Landmark was a body of work that I did for a number of years.
• 9:55
  Polly Mertens: Then there was a guy named T Harv Eker and Peak Potentials.
• 9:58
  Polly Mertens: That was kind of like a Tony Robbins version.
• 10:01
  Polly Mertens: Before Tony was as global as he is now.
• 10:03
  Polly Mertens: He kind of was in a hiatus or I don't know what he was doing, but he wasn't as big as he is now and so I was doing all these workshops, especially because this was a West Coast base, so it was California based.
• 10:13
  Polly Mertens: So I did a lot through him for probably five years, you know, traveling four or five, six times a year.
• 10:20
  Samantha Pruitt: So workshops, like going to an intensive onsite for a weekend or a week.
• 10:29
  Polly Mertens: And workshop is a gentle word.
• 10:33
  Samantha Pruitt: You mean a Bruce Canal?
• 10:33
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh yeah, there were a few of them.
• 10:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Some of them we've done are hardcore.
• 10:35
  Polly Mertens: There were a few of them that were in ballrooms, but what I loved the most were the ones that were I just call them adventurous camps.
• 10:42
  Polly Mertens: Let's call them, you know so, sleeping overnight in you know various places.
• 10:49
  Polly Mertens: You know, sometimes one time it was in British Columbia we camped for a week under a beautiful, you know glacier and and we would have the workshop would be in a beautiful kind of not tent, but yeah, maybe it was a tent, maybe it was a really large, you know 500 person tent or something like that, and we're in and out of nature and each one had its own experience.
• 11:07
  Polly Mertens: You know, there's one that was warrior.
• 11:08
  Polly Mertens: It wasn't so gentle, it wasn't so gentle or glamorous.
• 11:13
  Polly Mertens: There were some, you know it was a little hard knocks getting those, those breakthroughs right, getting those breakthroughs, and I freaking loved it.
• 11:21
  Polly Mertens: I just fed off of it.
• 11:22
  Polly Mertens: I could just see in myself I was a better human.
• 11:25
  Polly Mertens: When I went back into my life I was just like, not only was that like, I mean, there were people that I would meet and they'd be like, oh yeah, we've been to warrior like three or four times and they brought their kids and stuff.
• 11:34
  Polly Mertens: I'm like are you, what are you doing.
• 11:36
  Polly Mertens: They're like, yeah, this is our vacation.
• 11:38
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, oh my god, people do this like as their vacation.
• 11:41
  Polly Mertens: You know, because, because it's when you're not like you get addicted like cold, but like it just feels so good, it's like sitting and just drinking my ties and laying on the beach when you could have this wonderful expansive and connection and people and crying and growing and laughing, and it's like give me a break, yeah, yeah.
• 12:01
  Polly Mertens: So.
• 12:01
  Polly Mertens: So we, we just yeah.
• 12:03
  Polly Mertens: So I didn't do it as vacations but I bought packages and did a lot of that work and then I did start getting into Tony Robbins work and and then just little things here and there, you know little other finding certain teachers, you know.
• 12:18
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean there's lots of modalities, you might say, and how well, how does one even start to look for things like this, like what are you Googling done?
• 12:45
  Samantha Pruitt: And I found them through friends and you know, referrals or whatever.
• 12:46
  Samantha Pruitt: Or I read a book I mean, because usually that's kind of my way of finding it Like I hear about an author or I read a book or I hear a podcast or whatever, and then I go down my rabbit holes appropriately and off into my realms, you know, but how about you?
• 12:57
  Samantha Pruitt: How are you finding these?
• 12:58
  Samantha Pruitt: That's it.
• 13:00
  Polly Mertens: You hit the nail on the head.
• 13:00
  Polly Mertens: I have a feeling most of them are.
• 13:03
  Polly Mertens: I don't know.
• 13:04
  Polly Mertens: Either they, you know people do it in different directions.
• 13:10
  Polly Mertens: You know they write the book and then, oh my God, that people want to like have so much of their time so they hold workshops or they do these camps, or maybe vice versa, they're in camps and they're like I want to get more people in so they write books.
• 13:17
  Polly Mertens: I'm not sure, but yeah, pretty much each.
• 13:20
  Polly Mertens: So T Harbecker had a book that I read, called the Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, and I was like this is great and I shared it with a friend and he's like this is great, oh my God, he's got workshops.
• 13:29
  Polly Mertens: Let's go, you know, and then off, we went Right.
• 13:31
  Polly Mertens: And then Tony Robbins, a little hard time, that was mind-blowing, and then went to a few other little like side, like then you'd meet people through that and kind of go off down that that's exactly it, you know, or join groups and I think some of it too is, you know, depending on what you're.
• 14:04
  Polly Mertens: So there was a period where, after I got divorced, that I was like wanting to learn about relationships right there you go.
• 14:10
  Samantha Pruitt: So a focus, or a focus of your life, one area you're looking for growth got it, okay, yeah, so there we go yeah, oh, what do you look at you on this journey to become a whole person?
• 14:26
  Polly Mertens: right, that's like the path to enlightenment, sort of you know.
• 14:29
  Samantha Pruitt: But and I think everybody innately has a curiosity in themselves yeah they.
• 14:36
  Samantha Pruitt: That's just what humans are.
• 14:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, we all have it.
• 14:40
  Samantha Pruitt: It's just a matter of you gave yourself permission to feed the curiosity and pursue this, because you understood the value not only of yourself to invest the time, energy, resources into this, but the value of that growth and how it would extrapolate into how you impact the world.
• 14:59
  Polly Mertens: I think one of the words that I want to double click on in that is the investment Right.
• 15:05
  Polly Mertens: So, in some ways, big time commitment, big financial commitment, and with that comes, I would say, the reward is, if you play the big game, then you get your life.
• 15:16
  Polly Mertens: You know like what you want on the outside.
• 15:19
  Polly Mertens: You get that.
• 15:20
  Polly Mertens: You know I have better health than I've ever had your life.
• 15:23
  Polly Mertens: You know like what you want on the outside.
• 15:24
  Polly Mertens: You get that.
• 15:24
  Polly Mertens: You know I have better health than I've ever had.
• 15:26
  Polly Mertens: Relationships are deeper, more meaning in my life.
• 15:27
  Polly Mertens: You know coaching, transformative ways.
• 15:29
  Polly Mertens: You know just being up to stuff right, and so you can't just read a.
• 15:35
  Polly Mertens: I mean, some people can read a book and be, you know, instantly transformed and like change their life and stuff like that.
• 15:41
  Polly Mertens: But for me you know the reason why.
• 15:43
  Polly Mertens: You know and Tony would say that a lot of these workshops and stuff is because of the immersion.
• 15:47
  Polly Mertens: So when you immerse yourself in a workshop, you know whether you're in a relationship workshop or you want to be a better writer, or you know you're overcoming an addiction or something like that.
• 16:03
  Polly Mertens: The immersion in the people, like the friendships that are created out of these, the community, the camaraderie, the ability to show up at a place, and you're like these people are kind of insane, like me, they enjoy, you know, like they love jumping up and down and growing themselves.
• 16:20
  Polly Mertens: And you just have conversations here like what are you up to?
• 16:22
  Polly Mertens: And you know, I mean, I mean, you know, one of the paths that this took me down is I went to a tony robbins workshop, signed up for a package of his stuff.
• 16:30
  Polly Mertens: I looked at the dates so he had these uh classes, that um classes, like I said, they're more they're more than that.
• 16:38
  Polly Mertens: You know big whatever and at one point, two of them you could do back to back in fiji and I love to travel.
• 16:44
  Polly Mertens: I was like double-click I'm going to Fiji.
• 16:47
  Polly Mertens: Can you imagine the people I met in Fiji from around the world that are taking his things?
• 16:52
  Polly Mertens: I mean just exposure to human beings that aren't just cut from a different cloth, everybody's different, everybody's unique, and it's like what's your story?
• 17:04
  Polly Mertens: How did you get here?
• 17:05
  Polly Mertens: What are you doing?
• 17:05
  Polly Mertens: How are you?
• 17:07
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, just fascinating.
• 17:09
  Polly Mertens: And these people, depending on what you're searching for up to, like I said, it could be relationship, it could be your health, it could be your business, whatever you want to grow.
• 17:17
  Polly Mertens: And we can look at this as masterminds too, because oftentimes masterminds not just teach you about business, but how to be a better business owner, if you will.
• 17:25
  Polly Mertens: So get in those circles, get in those conversations, get with those people that are your.
• 17:31
  Polly Mertens: You know your people.
• 17:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Like you say, finding your people well, a lot of people would be really intimidated by some of the things you just said.
• 17:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, because you're going into a space where you don't know anybody and you feel vulnerable and should I be here?
• 17:44
  Samantha Pruitt: And all the head games that people might be trapped in.
• 17:46
  Samantha Pruitt: And what I would add to the fact that this is an opportunity for meeting all those people, expanding your mind, making connections, going to cool places, doing life changing things.
• 17:59
  Samantha Pruitt: What I kind of like about the work is that when you go into these things like these immersion programs that are out of your normal everyday routine, your identity, the story of your identity, is swept away.
• 18:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, you walk into a room, whether there's two of you or 200, 2000, whatever, yeah, I don't know these people they don don't know me.
• 18:24
  Samantha Pruitt: I've never met them before.
• 18:25
  Samantha Pruitt: I fricking love that.
• 18:27
  Samantha Pruitt: That's incredibly powerful and liberating, because none of the labels you know wife, mother, boss, this, that, that, that, whatever all the things that people know me to be in the order Nope, they're just like who's that lady over there?
• 18:42
  Samantha Pruitt: She's why she's so loud.
• 18:44
  Polly Mertens: What's she doing?
• 18:44
  Polly Mertens: And you can tell people what you can tell people, what you want about yourself, tell them nothing.
• 18:49
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, you might have a completely internal experience, even though you're part of that.
• 18:53
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't have to be all up in out of your seat doing the things you know, or you could be doing that and expressing yourself in a way you've never given yourself permission to do before.
• 19:12
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and I would share from you know.
• 19:12
  Polly Mertens: So I guess it seems natural and normal to me because I've done it for so long now.
• 19:15
  Polly Mertens: But you're right, the first few that I walked into, oh my God, like, sit me in the back of the room, don't look at me, let me just.
• 19:20
  Polly Mertens: I mean, you're right, You're totally right.
• 19:22
  Polly Mertens: It was like raise your hand.
• 19:24
  Polly Mertens: No, thank you, you know.
• 19:25
  Polly Mertens: I'll just be, I'll just be taking notes over here I'm sure that's how I thought the landmark forum was going to go is like.
• 19:30
  Polly Mertens: I'll just take some notes.
• 19:31
  Polly Mertens: And you know, no, like from every experience you're right I, like I didn't realize this, I throw myself into the immersion because I know the value of the growth, right, it's just like training, like if I go to the gym and I just look around, look at the weights, you know, go, oh, this is a cool place, look at all these people working out and oh, yeah, that's what a fitness class looks like.
• 19:57
  Polly Mertens: I could be, you know from afar, knowing what fitness is, seeing it, watching it take place, or I could get up to something.
• 20:06
  Polly Mertens: I could get on a damn treadmill, I could get in a class.
• 20:09
  Polly Mertens: I could like lift some things and go, oh, look at my body, oh, and have the transformation show up because I participated, you know.
• 20:17
  Polly Mertens: So I remember there was one that I did.
• 20:19
  Polly Mertens: Oh, this scared the crap out of me because I don't like being in a big group and like speak, you know, I like speaking in front of the group, but like, oh, raise your hand and tell us about a time, and I'm like.
• 20:31
  Polly Mertens: I literally told myself.
• 20:33
  Polly Mertens: I was like, because I had been doing this work, and I said, okay, I am going to be, I'm going to raise my hand anytime.
• 20:37
  Polly Mertens: They said, can I get a volunteer?
• 20:39
  Polly Mertens: And I was like, oh my God, what am I doing?
• 20:42
  Polly Mertens: But I wanted growth.
• 20:44
  Polly Mertens: I just challenged myself.
• 20:45
  Polly Mertens: I said I want some growth and literally the first time I raised my hand, they called on me.
• 20:50
  Polly Mertens: I was like, oh damn, but I'm so glad I did.
• 20:53
  Polly Mertens: And then I got that muscle and that fear out of the way and I was like raise my hand, raise my hand, raise my hand.
• 20:58
  Polly Mertens: I was like I didn't die, nobody got hurt.
• 21:02
  Polly Mertens: You know, actually I learned some things and what I came to find out and I see this now is when you can work one on one from a person, from the stage, you're getting such powerful coaching, like, good God, raise your hand.
• 21:20
  Polly Mertens: It's like an opportunity to have this yeah, walk out a different person.
• 21:22
  Polly Mertens: So I was like, well, I wouldn't, yeah, so I just I shifted it instead of oh, I don't want the attention on me to.
• 21:27
  Polly Mertens: I want to be a better human.
• 21:28
  Polly Mertens: I'm paying a lot of money, I'm spending, investing a lot of time.
• 21:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, let's, let's do this.
• 21:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Show me something I don't see.
• 21:38
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, a lot of the growth comes in being seen and heard and in liberating yourself from this story you have continued to tell yourself of.
• 21:46
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, what I have to say isn't important, or what I had to did or said or whatever in this circumstances is embarrassing and shameful, or I feel too guilty, or I'm embarrassed or whatever.
• 21:58
  Samantha Pruitt: It's not valuable.
• 22:00
  Samantha Pruitt: The group doesn't want to hear me.
• 22:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 22:02
  Samantha Pruitt: You know the shenanigans, people's evil twin goes on in their head, you know.
• 22:07
  Samantha Pruitt: And so when you open your mouth and you just put it out there and everybody responds in a positive way, you're like I didn't die, I didn't die.
• 22:16
  Polly Mertens: Look at that.
• 22:16
  Polly Mertens: And people actually often would come up to me or people afterward be like thanks for sharing that.
• 22:21
  Polly Mertens: Like, like, I'm like you, or I heard I'm like you, or I heard something about what you shared or that reminds me of my sister and wow, I really got her in a different way than you know, or my wife or something, right, so it's a gift when you're working.
• 22:34
  Polly Mertens: And the other thing I just was thinking about as you were sharing about something else, I wanted to just step back for a second.
• 22:41
  Polly Mertens: You said how do I these things?
• 22:42
  Polly Mertens: I was like, yeah, you sort of follow the, the rabbit hole of your interest.
• 22:47
  Polly Mertens: Like, what are you just interested in?
• 22:49
  Polly Mertens: What are you curious about?
• 22:50
  Polly Mertens: Or of your suffering, exactly, yeah, yeah, what, right, where is the pain?
• 22:56
  Polly Mertens: Or where is the curiosity, right, like, yeah, so, yeah, like, and that's yeah, and so like some of the things I'm just curious.
• 23:04
  Polly Mertens: Or people like you said people share a book with you or hey, have you heard about this or whatnot, especially if your circles are expanded and they cross multi dimensions and stuff.
• 23:16
  Polly Mertens: Now I, you know, like I had friends who were card readers, tarot card readers never thought in a million years I'd be reading tarot cards.
• 23:26
  Polly Mertens: You know, now I'm like I love it, I read tarot cards every day.
• 23:29
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's like, look at me, I'm a tarot card reader, you know, and studying astrology and the power of learning beyond just your horoscope, like oh for gosh sakes, right, but like really, what is going on with these planets of ours and these transits and all these?
• 23:47
  Polly Mertens: You know interesting things and you know, after doing psychedelics, understanding sacred geometry is kind of a thing you know.
• 23:55
  Polly Mertens: So what if, like, on a macro level, in our tiny little galaxy here, we have a thing called these planets that could be part of that sacred geometry and it has something to do with some things.
• 24:03
  Polly Mertens: And then human design and the study of yeah, that's fascinating yeah, yeah that's, that's something that's come more online.
• 24:12
  Polly Mertens: New, I'll say it again slowly human design.
• 24:13
  Polly Mertens: And then the work of gene keys, which is, uh, richard rudd, and that was introduced.
• 24:19
  Polly Mertens: Me friend gave me a book.
• 24:20
  Polly Mertens: She's like, hey, I, I thought you might enjoy this and I was, was like I don't know, I have no idea what this is.
• 24:25
  Polly Mertens: And then I was like bing, you know, or an app somebody tells you about.
• 24:28
  Polly Mertens: So you know, be in the curiosity.
• 24:32
  Polly Mertens: And you know some people, you know it's body work, very physical, right.
• 24:38
  Polly Mertens: You know so you do a lot of the body work and you know the rigor of endurance training and and growing yourself in that dimension.
• 24:45
  Polly Mertens: And then there's, you know, there's yoga and there's somatic practices.
• 24:49
  Polly Mertens: There's like yesterday I had- somatic therapies are therapy.
• 24:52
  Polly Mertens: Amazing the things that we're discovering about how the brain is the body, the body is the brain.
• 24:59
  Polly Mertens: Like, oh my god, like all this somatic work, this body work that just you think you're getting a massage or you think you're getting some craniosacral it's like hello yeah.
• 25:11
  Samantha Pruitt: So it starts with curiosity.
• 25:13
  Samantha Pruitt: Sometimes, well, from my experience or people I've seen or know, well like it's started from a place of suffering and trying to understand the suffering and the self-imposed suffering, getting yourself better, you know, and then, understanding.
• 25:28
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh yeah, I can, I have the power to heal that.
• 25:32
  Samantha Pruitt: And then, oh, now I understand different aspects about myself.
• 25:36
  Samantha Pruitt: What else can I heal?
• 25:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Where else can I find peace?
• 25:39
  Samantha Pruitt: And then, where can I find growth?
• 25:40
  Samantha Pruitt: You know which are different things at different times.
• 25:44
  Polly Mertens: You know, and I think, what I have learned on this arc of discovery of myself and I continue, you know, like I would tell you the things that I'm up to now, I'm discovering about myself.
• 25:52
  Polly Mertens: It's like, so I can share with you that when I went into the landmark forum, I didn't go there saying, oh, I'm going to cure my eating disorder, but I did.
• 26:02
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 26:03
  Polly Mertens: And you sometimes don't know, like I, you can think you're going there for one thing and get something else as well, right?
• 26:12
  Polly Mertens: so, like you know, like relationships, like, oh, I'm gonna go learn how to fix men better partner, yeah something like that, and it's like a lot of it just points back to the self, points back to the self, points back to the self.
• 26:26
  Polly Mertens: You're like oh, I guess I'm the thing.
• 26:28
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, I think people go into those and say how am I going to fix that person Exactly?
• 26:32
  Samantha Pruitt: You need to go to this with me because you'd be broken.
• 26:35
  Samantha Pruitt: We've got to fix you.
• 26:36
  Samantha Pruitt: You should be a better partner to me.
• 26:37
  Samantha Pruitt: And then they get in there and they're like, oh, what about me?
• 26:42
  Polly Mertens: Oh, team dynamics.
• 26:43
  Polly Mertens: Oh, my team sucks.
• 26:45
  Polly Mertens: I need to, oh, shoot Okay who's the teammate and the leader?
• 26:48
  Polly Mertens: Hello, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:52
  Polly Mertens: So it's surprising.
• 26:53
  Polly Mertens: You know you think you're often going for that thing and then often it's a mirror, it's a reflector, right, it's helping you see and discover something that's either in your way or is hidden from your view.
• 27:04
  Polly Mertens: And you know some people aren't up for this immersion in these workshops and these camps and things and stuff like that.
• 27:12
  Polly Mertens: And then coaching is good for that right, or one-on-one, you know, whether it's a therapist, one-on-one coaching, working with someone with somatic practices, or you know yoga practices and breath work Things can be illuminating, or an astrology reading or whatever it is.
• 27:27
  Polly Mertens: It doesn't have to be that, but I find all of it Like I take it is.
• 27:30
  Polly Mertens: It doesn't have to be that, but I find all of it Like, I take it in.
• 27:31
  Samantha Pruitt: I take in many forms of personal growth right, I believe a lot in reading and I give a lot of people books and I share books a lot Like I literally buy books for people and gift them out and stuff like that If it's been something that I think is real, powerful or relevant to our conversations or coaching or whatever might be going on.
• 27:49
  Samantha Pruitt: Because that gives them time especially if they're new to this personal growth, personal development work to just be by themselves in their own private thoughts and time and energy and space and slowly start to digest and open up their brain and emotions to this, and then that usually leads to like next levels, like what you're talking about.
• 28:10
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and I think I would say, because I've had this many years of doing this, that when I so I was doing landmark form and I think I did maybe like one a year or something, there's definitely and then I saw out of my stepping into the work with T Harv Eker and the peak potential Training and I did four to six a year, right, whoa, yeah, and what was beautiful.
• 28:33
  Polly Mertens: At first I was like that seems like a lot, but I had the time and I had the funds and I was like I just the materials.
• 28:40
  Polly Mertens: And when the timing of the classes was, I was like I don't want to wait until next year, like I want to, I want to take this thing.
• 28:45
  Polly Mertens: And what I found and they shared this as you got to more and more of these is it's like I'm trying to think of how to describe it so people listening can see it.
• 29:05
  Polly Mertens: But I could do like a chart, you know, like you know how, like a stock market chart kind of goes up a little bit.
• 29:08
  Polly Mertens: But what I found and what my experience was and I've heard from a lot of people that I knew that were doing them more quickly or like ongoing, not just once a year or once every couple of years, is you reach a new peak.
• 29:20
  Polly Mertens: You know you learn so much about yourself.
• 29:23
  Polly Mertens: You reach a new peak and a new level and understanding and then it kind of wanes.
• 29:27
  Polly Mertens: You go back into your life and then, if you have another, the next thing it like you get to a new level.
• 29:32
  Polly Mertens: So those plateaus, you might say, or the little dips that you might take going back into everyday reality, like your rebound faster and higher than if you stretch it out.
• 29:44
  Polly Mertens: And so I find myself like last year.
• 29:47
  Polly Mertens: I was like I gotta get a workshop, like I gotta, I gotta get some personal growth going on, like I just know my yeah, like uh, it's like you with the training and stuff.
• 29:56
  Polly Mertens: If you and it's the same concept yeah, if you're in training, you feel like you want to do the next thing, oh yeah, I can't wait for the next event in three months or something like that.
• 30:05
  Polly Mertens: If you stop, it's like you notice your body just doesn't feel as strong or fit or you're not taking as good care of it because you're not conditioning as much.
• 30:15
  Samantha Pruitt: But when you get back at it relatively quick, even if I take a couple weeks or a month or sometimes a bigger block off and then I get back into it, sure, I've lost some fitness, I've lost some strength or endurance or whatever the thing was, but it comes back pretty damn quick and what comes back immediately is the psychological benefits and rewards and then the physical body starts to adapt pretty quickly.
• 30:37
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, I'm back at CrossFit and I was just saying to one of my teammates today at CrossFit like the biggest win for this ever, this sport for us as middle-aged and advanced women, is the mental training that is delivering the mental health.
• 30:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, of course we're fit and strong and doing all this cool stuff, we're kicking ass and taking names relative to other females in our age group, but the mental gains dang Right.
• 31:05
  Samantha Pruitt: And so this work is the same what you're saying, saying like I feel like it's a training cycle.
• 31:10
  Samantha Pruitt: When you're talking about it it's similar to body work or physical work.
• 31:14
  Samantha Pruitt: You leave it for a period of time, you go back into the quote-unquote real world, which that's a whole conversation, but anyway, and maybe we go back to some of our old stinking thinking or behaviors or habits or get around the same people or whatever, and quickly we're like oh yeah, that just doesn't work for me anymore.
• 31:34
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm not the same person.
• 31:35
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm up here and I'm going this way, I'm not going that way.
• 31:43
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, new standards, and you feel the offness of it, like you can't dip back down, like you know, like you, you know it's hard for you to just like lazy around, take a walk or something.
• 31:55
  Polly Mertens: You're like, no, I want to get up to something, I want to get on a mountain, I want to get on my bike and like feel it Right.
• 32:00
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and like you said, like I mean, definitely in the years of starting personal growth, I noticed my friendships changed, you know just the conversations I was into and up to and excited about, and if people weren't wanting to share their big dreams and goals?
• 32:18
  Polly Mertens: and what are you getting up to it?
• 32:19
  Polly Mertens: Um, you get new friends.
• 32:21
  Polly Mertens: Great, like, exactly.
• 32:24
  Polly Mertens: Take the cake the take the peak of the crop with you, you know, and and they'll up-level you as you as well.
• 32:31
  Polly Mertens: Right, so you're back at landmark.
• 32:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes yes, full circle moment.
• 32:36
  Samantha Pruitt: I know, I know I feel like a little.
• 32:38
  Polly Mertens: They say welcome back a little elder moment.
• 32:43
  Polly Mertens: I'm like, oh, after 50 it looks a little different inside there.
• 32:46
  Polly Mertens: Maybe it's.
• 32:47
  Polly Mertens: It's really so.
• 32:48
  Polly Mertens: I just finished.
• 32:49
  Polly Mertens: There's a two-part communication course that I'm taking, so or you could take just one, um, but in order to take the second one, which I'm most excited about, you have to take the first one.
• 32:59
  Polly Mertens: So the first one's called communication access to power, and the second one is communication power to create.
• 33:08
  Polly Mertens: Oh yes, yes, and.
• 33:10
  Polly Mertens: I'll share more about that after I take it, so this coming weekend.
• 33:13
  Polly Mertens: Actually, I'm doing the second part.
• 33:15
  Polly Mertens: So that's the power to create and really I feel and I think you would agree, in our 50s, it's like what are we up to?
• 33:22
  Polly Mertens: Like we are creating this, you know, and so much of our life is in our language.
• 33:28
  Polly Mertens: Right, and if we can combine the ability, like you said, we get this emotional and mental surge of like capacity, like, oh, you feel so good coming out of the gym and yet if you don't have the language or the words or like how to create in your life, it can fall flat or you're like, oh, I'm not getting up to stuff, or I don't know what to do, or you know whatever.
• 33:49
  Polly Mertens: So I'm looking forward to how they contextualize like the power to create through language, like you can, you know, with words you can create so much.
• 33:58
  Polly Mertens: You can create people in your life.
• 34:00
  Polly Mertens: You know.
• 34:00
  Polly Mertens: We can say I see you as this, right, you can uplift people.
• 34:04
  Polly Mertens: We know this as coaches right, totally.
• 34:07
  Samantha Pruitt: Words are incredibly powerful.
• 34:08
  Samantha Pruitt: They're art, but they are definitely connection and self-expression.
• 34:13
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 34:13
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, and so we understand the world and each other.
• 34:17
  Polly Mertens: And you know there's so many and I would say find your, your jam, you know.
• 34:22
  Polly Mertens: So, landmark, it comes into my listening in a way that just it works.
• 34:30
  Polly Mertens: Works for me.
• 34:30
  Polly Mertens: You know, tony robbins clicked for me, not doesn't click for everybody.
• 34:34
  Polly Mertens: You know, um, and like I, I couldn't go sit in 400 hours of yoga training.
• 34:39
  Polly Mertens: I wouldn't be up for that.
• 34:41
  Polly Mertens: Like it just doesn't.
• 34:42
  Polly Mertens: Maybe maybe later or maybe another time, but that just doesn't appeal to me, right?
• 34:47
  Polly Mertens: So find what's the when someone says it, or you hear the content, or you know some people, a lot of people, have YouTube videos and things like that, like get a taste of it.
• 34:57
  Polly Mertens: And if it's like, oh, I want to hear more about this, or oh, you know, like that's how I got into my whole world of Abraham Hicks.
• 35:03
  Polly Mertens: You know the whole Abraham Hicks videos 10, 15 years ago as well, and I'm just an addict.
• 35:14
  Samantha Pruitt: Part videos 10-15 years ago as well, and I'm just an addict Part carrying member, binge watching those and people are like what is she?
• 35:16
  Polly Mertens: They're watching some reality tv show and you're binge watching him, but it's a beautiful way to stay in the conversation.
• 35:24
  Polly Mertens: You know, oh yeah, whoever you're, and these pod and podcasts like some of your favorite podcasts, like who do you listen to to get inspiration and growth and stuff what where does?
• 35:34
  Polly Mertens: Where are your sources?
• 35:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, so much of mine right now is really around health and wellness and the brain and different things of that nature, not so much, um, personal development and growth, but, uh, I'm fascinated in and I've been studying that the last couple years, not like hardcore, but just little bits, and so I've gone down a few of those rabbit holes and followed those strings.
• 35:58
  Samantha Pruitt: So I was mentioning, you know, I'm going to go meet a nun at a monastery over the hill, but basically I found her book and I read, I listened to a podcast.
• 36:07
  Samantha Pruitt: So it's not that I'm going to become a Buddhist and I'm studying religion, even though I am curious about humans, and that is one of the religions of the world that most resonates with who I am, the type of person I am.
• 36:21
  Samantha Pruitt: But it's really just a fascination for understanding all of this, like humans in history, and understanding how we're evolving now and how to really create more good in the world.
• 36:33
  Samantha Pruitt: And you know there isn't a lot of places in terms of studying history or religion where you find that, unfortunately.
• 36:43
  Samantha Pruitt: So, yeah, that's how I found that, but really for me it is just constantly being curious.
• 36:49
  Samantha Pruitt: That's a big thing and a little bit of the hunger, like what makes me feel strong, weak, like what are the different things that influence me as I'm human and, you know, propelling myself through this lifetime so quickly?
• 37:19
  Samantha Pruitt: And how can I continue to invest or double down on the good stuff?
• 37:25
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, and if I don't know myself and I don't invest time and energy in that?
• 37:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, and if I don't know myself and I don't invest time and energy in that, that's just not going to magically happen.
• 37:43
  Polly Mertens: Yeah yeah, right yeah.
• 37:43
  Polly Mertens: And I think what personal development gives me is I see the ways or the places where I'm still growing, right Like I see because I have a breakdown in something in my life.
• 37:47
  Polly Mertens: Right Like, oh, this area is not high functioning, this area is not flow, this area doesn't feel good, right, and you and I are up to well, damn it, don't just live with that.
• 37:58
  Polly Mertens: Like exactly.
• 38:00
  Samantha Pruitt: We deserve better.
• 38:01
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and if I take ultimate self-responsibility, you know it's like like, okay, I'm responsible for whatever I'm creating.
• 38:08
  Polly Mertens: Either I have something in the way a limiting belief, an old story judgment, something like that, or just poor communication, like I'm not able to convey what I want to have, or this needs to not be in my life.
• 38:22
  Polly Mertens: Maybe I need to make a choice, and the choice I've been making is out of insecurity or lack or scarcity or something, or fear.
• 38:29
  Polly Mertens: If I let that go, then this thing comes out of my life.
• 38:33
  Polly Mertens: And what do I make space for?
• 38:34
  Polly Mertens: You know like I go in the direction towards things that feel good.
• 38:38
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, and sometimes you have to do the work of unpacking that stuff Like I was studying for quite a while Dr Gabor Mate and his book on trauma.
• 38:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh my God, if people haven't discovered him on, you know either his books, which that's how I first found him, or any interview or anything, and he's in his eighties now.
• 38:56
  Samantha Pruitt: So if you don't know his work or him, you should immediately look up Dr Gabor Mate, because he's fricking brilliant and he's just changing, or has changed, the whole conversation around addiction in particular, changed the whole conversation around addiction in particular, but for sure, trauma and trauma work and healing.
• 39:16
  Samantha Pruitt: But just you know, if we are behaving, acting, operating in a certain way and there is some suffering emotional, physical, spiritual however, you're experiencing that.
• 39:25
  Samantha Pruitt: Don't you sure the hell want to know why and wouldn't you like it to be different?
• 39:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Don't you sure the hell want to know why and wouldn't you like it to be different?
• 39:33
  Samantha Pruitt: So I'm not saying that things haven't happened to people and you know there isn't some impact there.
• 39:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Of course we all have our stuff, but the empowerment piece of that is taking back your own life and experiencing or creating an experience, moving forward that can be different, that is different, that will be different, and making that decision.
• 39:54
  Polly Mertens: And I think it's similar to if you have an underlying disease or ailment and you don't treat it or you don't work on it.
• 40:04
  Polly Mertens: You don't get to the root of it, you don't want to improve it.
• 40:07
  Samantha Pruitt: You're diagnosed with X and you just go well, got x.
• 40:11
  Samantha Pruitt: I guess the party's over.
• 40:13
  Samantha Pruitt: Um, no, yeah, you're gonna be living with x and it will compound itself upon you, yeah, if you take no action yeah, or you take these, you know little medicines that just treat symptoms you know, and so I think personal development work is as helpful as disease diagnosis and curing not just symptoms, symptom navigating right.
• 40:44
  Polly Mertens: But you actually get to the cure of fears and traumas and you know angst or whatever's underneath your emotional self, locked in your mind in terms of limiting beliefs.
• 40:55
  Polly Mertens: It's like pulling out the weeds and like clearing your garden.
• 40:59
  Polly Mertens: Right, you know you're, you're, you're on the definition.
• 41:02
  Samantha Pruitt: You just gave the definition, so you have to say it again.
• 41:05
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh, because, as you, were unpacking that, it got away from me a little bit because I was like it's like a multivitamin, it's like this, and then you just kept going.
• 41:13
  Samantha Pruitt: I was like, ah, that is it.
• 41:16
  Samantha Pruitt: So you likened it to the garden even before that somebody discovered a cure, illness, a disease state, something going on in their physical body.
• 41:27
  Samantha Pruitt: People can all relate to that you know, either themselves or a loved one.
• 41:31
  Samantha Pruitt: So this kind of work is like what A way of taking care of that emotional body, spiritual body.
• 41:43
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 41:43
  Samantha Pruitt: In a proactive way.
• 41:46
  Polly Mertens: Exactly, exactly, and you have.
• 41:47
  Polly Mertens: So you know one of the things.
• 41:48
  Polly Mertens: I don't know why.
• 41:49
  Polly Mertens: This is a random symptom that's coming out to me, but I see people who have, like the varicose veins you know in their legs.
• 41:56
  Polly Mertens: They have like the whatever, and there's a not an easy cure for that, but I believe there is.
• 42:00
  Polly Mertens: It's like this treatment that you can do to like help your your veins and whatnot, or maybe there's something else underlying it.
• 42:06
  Polly Mertens: You know, like what's causing your veins to be stressed, yeah, so don't just look at those veins and go, oh, just got big veins.
• 42:16
  Polly Mertens: I guess Right, and that's not something that would necessarily get in your way.
• 42:20
  Polly Mertens: You know a more debilitating like if you have asthma and you can't climb up diabetes, you know something.
• 42:27
  Polly Mertens: Or you know a stigma.
• 42:28
  Polly Mertens: You know if you've got eye things or whatever, you've got back problems or something.
• 42:33
  Polly Mertens: You know people that don't get chiropractic, and chiropractic is available and can help them.
• 42:37
  Polly Mertens: That's just still shocking to me.
• 42:39
  Polly Mertens: But like you just sort of go like, oh, I just start to walk hunched over or, oh, I start to not be able to go upstairs.
• 42:46
  Polly Mertens: I guess I don't go upstairs anymore.
• 42:47
  Polly Mertens: You know, whatever it is, it's like, keep on right.
• 42:51
  Polly Mertens: Now, certainly there are some limitations at some point, but if things can be cured, work on that, like you know.
• 42:59
  Polly Mertens: So I'm like, get in there and like, find that cure, get to that root cause.
• 43:02
  Polly Mertens: You know in the same way.
• 43:04
  Polly Mertens: So the symptoms can show up.
• 43:05
  Polly Mertens: You have breakdowns in your life, you don't get the result that you want.
• 43:08
  Polly Mertens: You don't get the result that you want.
• 43:09
  Polly Mertens: You don't feel the way that you want to feel in this thing.
• 43:12
  Polly Mertens: You're not self-expressed, you feel limited, you feel stuck, you feel lonely, whatever.
• 43:16
  Polly Mertens: If you're not having the feelings in your life, you're not having the life that you want to feel.
• 43:21
  Polly Mertens: Okay, what's what's behind that?
• 43:23
  Polly Mertens: What's the cause of that?
• 43:24
  Polly Mertens: Well, how could you affect that?
• 43:25
  Polly Mertens: You know you're choosing something that's leading to that.
• 43:29
  Polly Mertens: Like it is a cause and effect world, often the causes or the causes inside of ourselves a limiting belief, a story, a fear.
• 43:37
  Polly Mertens: Can't do it, don't know how to do it, whatever.
• 43:40
  Polly Mertens: What if I said something?
• 43:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, and it's kind of like the chicken or the egg.
• 43:44
  Samantha Pruitt: What comes first?
• 43:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Having a conversation with a dear friend of mine that has a recent diagnosis and she is very quickly noticing symptoms exasperating from this recent diagnosis and I did have to point out to her today because I've known her for several years.
• 44:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Actually you know those things that you're talking about.
• 44:04
  Samantha Pruitt: You've always done those things and also you're just doing them more now and this is talking quickly and kind of losing her thoughts and getting worked up I said you have so much more stress and anxiety right now because you have a new diagnosis.
• 44:19
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't know what's happening yet, the stage of it, and you're not sure where this is going, so of course all of those things would become exasperated.
• 44:27
  Samantha Pruitt: So is it really the disease is progressing so fast and it's getting away from you, or is it emotionally and psychologically you're under quite a bit an enormous amount of stress and anxiety and so let's see if we can work through those things as you're on this journey.
• 44:43
  Polly Mertens: And from an emotional standpoint, you know, when we label ourselves with a disease or disorder or you name it, you know physical ailment, you put the mind, depending on, if you allow it, you know so, like you would be like, well, I've got that, but so what?
• 44:59
  Polly Mertens: You know he'd be like, oh, but I'm still going to max my life, I'm still.
• 45:03
  Polly Mertens: You know so, depending on your relationship with that label, that somebody else is saying, right, if you didn't know it, you just would be.
• 45:10
  Polly Mertens: You know, manage, let's say symptoms or whatnot.
• 45:13
  Polly Mertens: It's good to have an understanding and underlying root if they can define it Sure, and work on it.
• 45:18
  Samantha Pruitt: right and but not let it really empower yeah.
• 45:22
  Polly Mertens: I mean people can be debilitating.
• 45:24
  Samantha Pruitt: How come some people take it and it's empowering, some get it and it's debilitating.
• 45:28
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, if you think about personal development work and personal growth, you said you know the disease states if you will, or the symptomatic is, you know, having more fear, having more anxiety, having more anger.
• 45:40
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, feeling like things really just are not going well or you're not really feeling like you.
• 45:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Whatever that looks like for the person right, this type of work is debilitating.
• 45:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, it's not like going to the doctor, but it's like going to your own clinic of self-development, self-curiosity, exploration, development, understanding and gaining tools to just navigate this yourself.
• 46:07
  Samantha Pruitt: The ultimate empowerment, really.
• 46:09
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah, take your power back right.
• 46:11
  Polly Mertens: You know, if there's an area of your life that isn't working, don't just sit with that.
• 46:13
  Polly Mertens: Don't be okay with that, like, okay, what do I need?
• 46:14
  Polly Mertens: You know, is there's an area of your life that isn't working, don't just sit with that.
• 46:16
  Polly Mertens: Don't be okay with that.
• 46:17
  Polly Mertens: Like, okay, what do I need?
• 46:19
  Polly Mertens: You know, is it a book?
• 46:20
  Polly Mertens: Is it a class?
• 46:21
  Polly Mertens: Is it where can I go?
• 46:22
  Polly Mertens: Right, and you know, there were times where I was doing workshops that I wasn't even necessarily like, oh, I had a broken thing over there, but I just knew I was going to grow and improve and learn something.
• 46:32
  Polly Mertens: You know, I mean, there's people that, as I got doing a lot of these, you know I'd meet people and see them over and over again.
• 46:39
  Polly Mertens: They were just sometimes come for one thing that you know they just be looking for that one thing.
• 46:44
  Polly Mertens: They're like I know something in this.
• 46:46
  Polly Mertens: Like, you know, there are 30 things they could walk or 300 things they could walk away with.
• 46:51
  Polly Mertens: They're like, but if I get one thing and I take it back into my life, they go, totally worth it, like winning right.
• 46:56
  Polly Mertens: So what is it that you're not feeling fully expressed in?
• 47:01
  Polly Mertens: What are you feeling?
• 47:02
  Polly Mertens: Broken down and start with something.
• 47:04
  Polly Mertens: If it's a book, is the first step you can do.
• 47:06
  Polly Mertens: Immersion workshops are amazing.
• 47:09
  Polly Mertens: They're not always available at the right time, or whatever, but don't just settle.
• 47:12
  Polly Mertens: Don't just settle for your life not working.
• 47:14
  Polly Mertens: You're feeling bad.
• 47:15
  Polly Mertens: Don't just settle.
• 47:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Don't just settle for your life not working.
• 47:17
  Samantha Pruitt: You're feeling bad, so can you give us one, two or three takeaways from just this last weekend's workshop that you did?
• 47:28
  Polly Mertens: Like the big wins, so it's a little hard.
• 47:30
  Polly Mertens: So Landmark uses unique language.
• 47:32
  Polly Mertens: So when you're in the class, like they explain the language in a context, you're like, oh, but there's something around listening from nothing.
• 47:49
  Polly Mertens: Okay, and what that?
• 47:50
  Polly Mertens: In a short way of describing that is when you go into a conversation, or I'll use first person, so like, for example, you know me with conversations with my mom that I've been having right, so if I have a listening from my mom is a victim.
• 48:01
  Polly Mertens: My mom always has problems.
• 48:03
  Polly Mertens: My mom doesn't love me, whatever, you know, if I have this listening for her, that is filtering out or filter, you know all these.
• 48:11
  Polly Mertens: What she's saying has to get through all this filter of she's.
• 48:14
  Polly Mertens: This way.
• 48:15
  Polly Mertens: This always happens.
• 48:16
  Polly Mertens: She does, does this whatever.
• 48:17
  Polly Mertens: Um, I can't really hear her communication.
• 48:19
  Polly Mertens: I'm hearing the woman that I think I know her to be, instead of hearing listening from nothing is pure curiosity, like today is this is a new person, this is you know, and if I could hold her in that space every time?
• 48:37
  Polly Mertens: Yes, and that's that's.
• 48:37
  Polly Mertens: This is a new person, this is you know, and if I could hold her in that space every time.
• 48:39
  Polly Mertens: Yes, and that's that's.
• 48:41
  Polly Mertens: This is a practice.
• 48:42
  Polly Mertens: This isn't like, oh, like, oh, yeah, I went in and you know it's, it's a practice, and I catch my.
• 48:47
  Polly Mertens: You know, and that's what, as we came out of that, we were practicing being in conversations and communication with people, to practice listening from nothing, and it wasn't always a hundred percent, it was like, whew, okay, I had a lot of judgment in that conversation.
• 49:01
  Polly Mertens: Clearly, you know, and what, what, how I we notice it is, you get a reaction in your body because if you're listening from nothing, there's no reaction.
• 49:10
  Polly Mertens: There's no reaction, especially, and the other thing is listening with no meaning, right, it's like oh wow.
• 49:17
  Polly Mertens: Words have no meaning.
• 49:18
  Samantha Pruitt: Right Like the person's just talking and you're like not having an emotional reaction to what did they say and how is that going to impact me?
• 49:25
  Samantha Pruitt: And blah blah blah.
• 49:26
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, bringing up all your stuff.
• 49:28
  Polly Mertens: It's so powerful.
• 49:30
  Polly Mertens: I would say I'm in the kindergarten level of where I can go with this, but I'm up for learning it at like such a rich level because the like I have seen myself just in the last week since I did the first one, just like noticing the meat, it's almost like my voice, uh, inner voice, says something and like the filter shows up like meaning, like oh, this person's saying this or this conversation is going to go this way, or I wonder if you know whether it's fear or whatever meaning, and if I can just go wipe the slate like the windshield, just clear the clear, the screen, and I can hear and see and like take in all the body language of what are they saying?
• 50:12
  Polly Mertens: Now, not through that filter.
• 50:14
  Polly Mertens: You know a the ultimate goal, I would say in all my years of coaching and the personal development, I'm like, wow, this is some excuse me, fucking graduate level stuff.
• 50:23
  Polly Mertens: Because in all the work that I've done and coached in before is how to manage in a body, like we talk about emotional mastery, because we're triggered, we get a response, we're like you know, right, this is like before that, before that happens.
• 50:42
  Polly Mertens: Before that, like not even letting those things trigger you Like that's some ninja shit right there.
• 50:49
  Polly Mertens: You know it's like damn so, like being so present to meaning, meaning, meaning, mind's making, meaning in this conversation.
• 50:57
  Polly Mertens: I'm listening through, I'm filtering through and just keep clearing the screen and going what is this person saying?
• 51:03
  Polly Mertens: How can I listen?
• 51:04
  Polly Mertens: And you know, you said what are three things.
• 51:06
  Polly Mertens: So I'd say the other thing, that, and not every conversation you necessarily want to do this, but I would say a lot of them, you know, because a lot of the I don't know what percentage of our conversations are meaningful or like people that we care about, and ones are just like talking to a cab driver, whatever, not that you can't have meaning with and affinity with a cab driver, but really the course is keeping relationships that have affinity and love in them, keeping the love and affinity in them, right.
• 51:33
  Polly Mertens: And so the idea I got.
• 51:36
  Polly Mertens: They said you know, in communication it's creating oneness.
• 51:40
  Polly Mertens: So how do I hold the space of communication with this person in the space of oneness, so that it's almost like the context around everything and I know, not supposed to have meaning or whatnot, but this has been helpful for me because in the space of wanting love and affinity to be present in my communications with people, if I can say how do I stay in oneness with this person, even if we disagree, even if the things aren't, you know, like they're saying something and I'm like that's not true or I see it differently, or whatever.
• 52:12
  Polly Mertens: But if I hold the space of oneness with this person or whatever, but if I hold the space of oneness, with this person, I will be different in my interactions.
• 52:21
  Samantha Pruitt: I was thinking of the word wholeness when you were describing it like keeping the whole to the communication, into the relationship, keeping it whole rather than letting it splinter in pieces.
• 52:31
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly oneness, I because so many people yeah, that could be a little yeah.
• 52:40
  Samantha Pruitt: So many people, including me.
• 52:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, because we have stories about how different that person is, comparison judgment, how they might be judging us, whatever, whatever.
• 52:52
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, it's hard to embrace that oneness concept, but I could very easily get to the wholeness of this relationship and the integrity of it, staying whole rather than splintered, even though it could be completely opposite to me in views and in lifestyle and in whatever, whatever you know because that's you know, one of the things that we worked on in the beginning in this course was cleaning up places where, as we did in our recent episode about incomplete or not clear, right, and so when you say incomplete, it's not whole, like that's part of it is.
• 53:31
  Polly Mertens: There's like Swiss cheese instead of a.
• 53:33
  Polly Mertens: Have the intention.
• 53:34
  Polly Mertens: If you hold the space of my communications are held in a place of wholeness.
• 53:39
  Polly Mertens: When there is a breakdown, like you work on it, you don't just like go to bed angry or run out of the room.
• 53:45
  Polly Mertens: You know you might have to calm yourself down.
• 53:48
  Polly Mertens: If you're not coming from a place of nothing, it'll still happen, it's practice.
• 53:51
  Polly Mertens: It'll still happen, it's practice.
• 53:53
  Polly Mertens: But seeing the communication and the relationship as a whole relationship, how do I maintain that you will go back to?
• 54:00
  Polly Mertens: You know, like, do I need to apologize?
• 54:04
  Polly Mertens: You know, do I need to forgive something?
• 54:06
  Polly Mertens: Do I need to say something or hear something in a different way?
• 54:10
  Polly Mertens: Like you know what I cut you off.
• 54:11
  Polly Mertens: Can you tell me more about that thing?
• 54:13
  Polly Mertens: I really want to understand where you're coming from, whatever.
• 54:15
  Polly Mertens: Can you tell me more about that thing?
• 54:16
  Polly Mertens: I really want to understand where you're coming from, whatever, whatever the thing is in the context of wholeness.
• 54:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Communication has a different channel to go down right, oh yeah, and this is just one workshop, as one very tiny example of the personal development, personal growth work that you've done.
• 54:34
  Samantha Pruitt: This is what you're currently up to now in the present.
• 54:39
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's funny as you, just as you were saying that, I was like, yeah, that was.
• 54:42
  Polly Mertens: I was like this is a distinction.
• 54:45
  Polly Mertens: These three things that I just shared are like distinctions I can remember saying I have, I feel like I have a virtual tool belt you know, call it a mental belt, whatever, you know, like a tool belt, like I carry with me tools in my life, some that I've integrated, like I am different, like there, or you might say, like the chips, the DNA have been shifted inside of me because I've pulled in that integration, I've used it, I've practiced it right, like I don't do things like the way I used to do.
• 55:14
  Polly Mertens: They're part of the way that I be now who I am in the world, right, and so tool belt might be one way.
• 55:22
  Polly Mertens: That's maybe some of the practical ways, like in the communication.
• 55:26
  Polly Mertens: But I come from a place now of whole and complete communication instead of splintered or listening through and filtering and stuff like that.
• 55:34
  Polly Mertens: And it's amazing how, you know, it's always easier to see other people and their lack of communication than ourselves.
• 55:41
  Polly Mertens: But it was fascinating In this course I had to go, I was out in the world, I saw three people having an interaction and like everybody was just talking over each other.
• 55:51
  Polly Mertens: I was like damn, there is no communication, like nope, one of my pets.
• 55:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Totally.
• 55:59
  Samantha Pruitt: Isn't it fascinating how you have this different lens now?
• 56:03
  Samantha Pruitt: That's so interesting when you were describing it and we were kind of like retrospect looking back on.
• 56:09
  Samantha Pruitt: This is one of the bodies of work you're currently in all under this giant umbrella called personal development or personal growth work, in all under this giant umbrella called personal development or personal growth work.
• 56:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I got this, you know, snapshot analogy of.
• 56:27
  Samantha Pruitt: It's like when you decide to pick up that book or take that course or integrate yourself into an immersion program or sign up for a continued course or whatever.
• 56:31
  Samantha Pruitt: When you're doing the work, however, you want to be doing the work.
• 56:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Doing the work, however, you want to be doing the work.
• 56:40
  Samantha Pruitt: It's almost like how I feel about when you are in a race that it's going to be very taxing mentally, physically and emotionally and you're at the starting line and you really don't know at all what's going to happen.
• 56:48
  Samantha Pruitt: But you think you do.
• 56:49
  Samantha Pruitt: You absolutely.
• 56:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I've trained.
• 56:52
  Samantha Pruitt: I know because I I know the course looked at all the things.
• 56:56
  Samantha Pruitt: I got friends, I got spreadsheets.
• 56:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Seven minute miles in a couple months of this big ultra and you've got these spreadsheets and all these tabs.
• 57:05
  Samantha Pruitt: I love it, I love it, I love it.
• 57:08
  Samantha Pruitt: But you are kidding yourself.
• 57:11
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't know what the hell is going to happen.
• 57:12
  Samantha Pruitt: And that's the same with this kind of work.
• 57:14
  Samantha Pruitt: You start with this intention that I'm going to get something out of it.
• 57:17
  Samantha Pruitt: You're open to that, obviously.
• 57:19
  Samantha Pruitt: That's why you show the hell up right now.
• 57:21
  Samantha Pruitt: But what's going to happen along that journey?
• 57:23
  Samantha Pruitt: And then, when you come out the other side, you are forever changed and you are forever changed, never, ever the same person when you cross that finish line or, in this case, finish those courses, because so much is going to happen in that small capsule of time, so much personal growth, mental, physical, spiritual growth you have no idea, and that, to me, is the most exciting part of it that you don't know.
• 57:51
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't go in there going.
• 57:52
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm here to heal my relationship with my mother, and that's what we're doing here and this is what I'm going to focus my relationship with my mother, and that's what we're doing here, and this is what I'm going to focus on.
• 58:00
  Polly Mertens: What in the hell?
• 58:01
  Polly Mertens: You don't know what's going to happen.
• 58:02
  Polly Mertens: Right yeah, you meet a different version of you at the other side.
• 58:05
  Samantha Pruitt: A different version of you, a better version always.
• 58:09
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah, you know I think we've talked about this before, but one of my favorite words or metaphors in personal development is perturbation.
• 58:18
  Polly Mertens: What is it so?
• 58:20
  Polly Mertens: Perturbation is the pressure that causes coal to transmute into diamonds, and it can't go back right.
• 58:29
  Polly Mertens: It's a chemical process, so perturbation is under pressure.
• 58:32
  Polly Mertens: You turn something with all these chemicals called coal looks in one state and then it turns into a diamond, right, and so I oftentimes saw myself like walking in, like a charred piece of coal.
• 58:45
  Polly Mertens: I'm like bluffing, you know, and you can see it too like no freaking kidding.
• 58:52
  Polly Mertens: I've been, I've volunteered for enough classes and I have smoke, I have been people walk in like disheveled faces Like what am I going to do here?
• 59:01
  Polly Mertens: Or fear, like oh God, what's going to happen?
• 59:03
  Polly Mertens: Or whatever.
• 59:03
  Polly Mertens: And by the end of it, radiant, I mean just like arms stretched out, hugging people, like the final day.
• 59:12
  Polly Mertens: They're just like you know, just it's transformative, it's the diamond comes out of the coal in those days, weeks, you know, whatever the work is, you know, and it's so worth it, it's so worth it to shine that diamond every time you go in and like, oh yes, I'm going to shine and take that back into your life and the people around you.
• 59:34
  Samantha Pruitt: So I love it.
• 59:35
  Samantha Pruitt: I can't wait for us to do the next episode after this next course.
• 59:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, and see how you are implementing all of these learnings, lessons and growth.
• 59:46
  Samantha Pruitt: And then what's this next chapter look like?
• 59:49
  Polly Mertens: And I will share the happy breakthroughs and the crappy breakdowns, because the breakdowns lead to breakthroughs and you know what it's a practice?
• 59:57
  Polly Mertens: It's a practice, it's a growth.
• 59:59
  Samantha Pruitt: It's all part of it.
• 1:00:00
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and I just want to invite you know, the one thing is Just the one thing yeah, if you have an interest in something, go immerse yourself in it, like really lean into it.
• 1:00:11
  Polly Mertens: Lean into the you that you could be on the other side of it, to the you that you could be on the other side of it.
• 1:00:17
  Polly Mertens: Because if it's interesting to you or if it scares you like there was, you know, you in these races, things that you've invited me to I'm like doing what?
• 1:00:23
  Polly Mertens: But then you do them and you're like I met another version of myself on the other side, like there's a version of you that is screaming, yelling, jumping up and down, can't wait for you to come across that finish line or whatever that looks like.
• 1:00:35
  Polly Mertens: And maybe it's not just in a book, maybe it's not just an audio, maybe it's not just something you take online.
• 1:00:39
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you go and immerse yourself for a change.
• 1:00:42
  Polly Mertens: You know, take a risk and try that 5K, that 20,.
• 1:00:46
  Polly Mertens: You know, go for the bigger miles or whatever it is, or an in-person thing, or something.
• 1:00:51
  Polly Mertens: You're like I can't believe I'm signing up for this, or this sounds amazing, and and and do it.
• 1:00:57
  Polly Mertens: Invest in you and see what happens and let us know let us know.
• 1:01:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Show up in person, take the next step with wherever you're at.
• 1:01:04
  Samantha Pruitt: If you're already somebody reading the books, then maybe an in-person is what's next.
• 1:01:10
  Samantha Pruitt: If you're already somebody listening to the podcast, then maybe an in-person is what's next.
• 1:01:14
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, maybe it's one-on-one work, maybe it's big group work, immersion programs, whatever.
• 1:01:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Take the next step.
• 1:01:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I'd say for me, that's my one thing to leave them with.
• 1:01:25
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and be bold, like you know these courses, you just gotta, you gotta just do it Like, all right, putting the money down.
• 1:01:31
  Polly Mertens: I can't believe I'm doing this, you know, and the bigger the check usually the bigger the payoff.
• 1:01:36
  Polly Mertens: I tell you, like, because you go in there, you go, I'm going to get some value out of this, and you do, you know.
• 1:01:41
  Polly Mertens: So, write a check, you know, like, put the money down, like go to that thing, and you'd be darn tootin' amazed what comes out.
• 1:01:50
  Polly Mertens: Hell, yeah, lady, this is good.
• 1:01:53
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, what do you want to remind?
• 1:01:55
  Polly Mertens: Yes, thank you, thank you.
• 1:01:56
  Polly Mertens: I hope people have gotten some value out of this.
• 1:01:58
  Polly Mertens: And, you know, reach out to us, let us know, like, what you do or how can we support you.
• 1:02:03
  Polly Mertens: Or do you have any questions about any of these and you want to go deep or dive?
• 1:02:06
  Polly Mertens: We'd be happy to share about them as well.
• 1:02:09
  Samantha Pruitt: So, because, how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.