Latest / Whys & Finds / Why Toddlers Get Attached to One Stuffed Animal
Transcript
- Ben: Your toddler has a shelf full of stuffed animals. They ignore all of them except one. It goes to breakfast, to the car, to bed. And if it goes missing, the whole house stops until it turns up. Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie. Ben: And I'm Ben. Ellie: Today: why do toddlers get attached to one stuffed animal? Ellie: Here's what I'd do: let them keep it, and give it a plan. Part of the why is simple. That one toy is soft, and it's familiar. It's been there every day, so it feels like home wherever they take it. Ben: That's it? Soft and familiar? Ellie: That's a big part of it. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a page on what it calls transitional objects. It says: "They work, in part, because they feel good: they're soft, cuddly, and nice to touch. They're also effective because of familiarity." Ben: Familiarity. So it's not the toy. It's the history. Ellie: Right. The page goes on: the lovey "has your child's scent on it, and it reminds them of the comfort and security of their room." Ben: Which explains why a brand-new copy doesn't always feel the same. Ellie: It doesn't have the history yet. Ben: Okay. So the attachment is normal. What's the plan part? Ellie: The plan is for the places where they can't have it all the time. Daycare, mostly. We'll get there. Ben: Before we do. Is this one stuffed animal thing as common as it feels? Ellie: I can't give you a number for all toddlers. But I can tell you what shows up in reviews. We read more than 3,000 Amazon reviews of the Naturally KIDS backpacks. The backpacks have a plush animal on the front. And the same story comes up again and again. Ben: Go on. Ellie: One grandparent wrote about a two-year-old grandson: "Carries it to daycare every day." Ben: Every day. That's commitment. Ellie: Another grandparent wrote: "She has become very attached to the dinosaur." Ben: So the toy from the backpack becomes the one. Ellie: For some kids, yes. Not for all of them. A review about a two-year-old niece says: "The unicorn comes right out but she likes it where it is." Ben: Ha. So some kids want it on the bag, not in their arms. Ellie: Exactly. The child picks. Ben: Here's my question, though. Can you make a kid get attached to a particular toy? Ellie: You can offer one. Your child decides. And sometimes they pick the one you'd never have guessed. Ben: The old one with the faded ear. Ellie: Something like that. Ben: Okay, the plan. Daycare. That's where my worry is. Do I let them bring it? Ellie: For that, I'd look at NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children. It's a U.S. organization for early childhood educators. It has a page called "11 Ways to Help Children Say Goodbye." Ben: Eleven. Of course it's eleven. Ellie: One of them is about exactly this. It says: "A special lovey, a photo of your family, or an item like your watch can help your child cope." Ben: A lovey, a photo, or my watch. So the stuffed animal is one option, not the only one. Ellie: That's how I read it. And it goes on with a practical line: "If the lovey can't be shared with other children, ask your child's teacher if it can stay in the cubby and come out when your child is sad." Ben: So it doesn't have to be in their hands all day. Ellie: No. It can wait in the cubby. They know it's there. Ben: And the goodbye itself? That's the hard part. Ellie: NAEYC says: "Establish a predictable goodbye routine: This will let your child know what will happen next, making it easier to cope with the transition." Ben: Predictable. What does that look like at the door? Ellie: They give examples: "Wave from the window, watch the pet fish, play with a favorite toy, share a hug, read a book, or sing a goodbye song." Ben: Pick one and do it every day. Ellie: Pick one, same one, every day. Ben: Can I push back on the cubby? You said the favorite can wait there all day. But the favorite is the one you can't replace. If it goes to daycare every day, one day it doesn't come home. Ellie: That happens. Ben: So I'd split it. The bedtime favorite stays home. Your child picks a second friend for daycare, a travel one. They pick it themselves, so it still counts. Ellie: You're right. That's better than what I said. The one they sleep with stays at home, and the travel one does the trips. And they get a say in both. Ben: I'll take the point. Ellie: You earned it. Ben: Okay, but now I have a second problem. The travel one still gets dropped in the parking lot. Ellie: Then give it a place to ride. One more review, from a family friend: "He carries his little stuffy to daycare and everywhere he goes. With this he can still take his stuffy around without having to worry about dropping it on the ground or losing it." Ben: With this meaning the backpack. Ellie: Right. One practical option: Naturally KIDS makes a small backpack with a removable plush animal on the front. That plush can be the travel friend. Your child picks the animal, so it still counts. Ben: So the travel friend rides on the bag. Ellie: It rides on the bag. They take it out for a hug and put it back. There's a T-Rex, a triceratops in green or purple, and unicorns. And there's a version with side pockets, if daycare asks for a water bottle. Ben: And if they name it on the first day? Ellie: Then it has a name. That's how it starts. Ellie: Now, a few different situations. If your child already has a travel friend they love, use that one. A small bag with room for it works fine. Ben: Don't fix what works. Ellie: Right. If they're into a different animal, the same small backpack comes with a teddy bear, a dog or a giraffe. Ben: And if the daycare says no toys from home? Ellie: Then follow the daycare's rule. A family photo is on NAEYC's list too. Ask the teacher where it can go. Ben: And if they'd rather have the bedtime one go everywhere, full stop? Ellie: Then keep the goodbye routine the same every day, and talk to the teacher about where it waits. Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: the American Academy of Pediatrics says these favorites work in part because they feel good, and because they're familiar. Two: in reviews of the Naturally KIDS backpacks, families write about kids who carry the plush everywhere, and kids who'd rather leave it on the bag. Three: NAEYC lists a special lovey, a family photo or a parent's item as things that can help a child cope when missing family. Four: ask the teacher if it can stay in the cubby, and keep the same goodbye routine every day. Five: the bedtime favorite stays home, and a travel friend does the trips. Ellie: You've got it. Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS. Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.