Latest / Lazy Girl Hour / Clare's birth story and what happens when you get a new face

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Clare's birth story and what happens when you get a new face · Lazy Girl Hour

0:12
Speaker 1: Jessie, we've hired a studio independently with no help from
0:18
Speaker 1: anyone except the people who let us hire the studio.
0:22
Speaker 1: And by that I mean I hired a studio. You
0:23
Speaker 1: did absolutely nothing. No. We have chairs, we have mics,
0:27
Speaker 1: we have trinkets. We have trinkets, which I was going to...
0:31
Speaker 1: remark upon that because uh that is a portrait of
0:36
Speaker 1: your now deceased dog I thought I'd um our producer
0:40
Speaker 1: we've got a producer that also makes us really professional
0:42
Speaker 1: but our producer said um we should personalize the space
0:47
Speaker 1: because there's a beautiful pot plant here yeah not ours
0:50
Speaker 1: no and I also feel like Who decided that every
0:54
Speaker 1: podcast studio needed a plant? Yeah. No, I think it's
0:58
Speaker 1: definitely like a visual thing about depth. You notice when
1:02
Speaker 1: there's not a plant is all I'll say. It looks empty.
1:04
Speaker 1: It looks sad. It looks poor. It looks like they
1:06
Speaker 1: couldn't afford a plant. Or it looks like the plant
1:08
Speaker 1: died and it needed to be– Moved out urgently. Exactly. Exactly. Well,
1:12
Speaker 1: I brought in, so our producer said bring trinkets. Yeah.
1:16
Speaker 1: I had about 30 seconds. And so I went. You
1:18
Speaker 1: brought a book, which is just promo for you. I
1:20
Speaker 1: thought I'll bring my book, which is now on your
1:22
Speaker 1: side because you forgot trinkets. I did forget trinkets. I
1:25
Speaker 1: missed that memo. Terrible. But I did bring a picture of.
1:30
Speaker 1: The late, beloved Trinket. Caesar. Caesar. And the reason I
1:34
Speaker 1: did is because if you listen to Cancelled, which was
1:38
Speaker 1: our podcast before the one we're currently on. Yes. Yet
1:42
Speaker 1: to introduce it. We'll get there. Caesar was a bit
1:45
Speaker 1: of a fixture. Was he? And Caesar was a fixture
1:49
Speaker 1: because of one particular story. Do you remember when Caesar was,
1:54
Speaker 1: it almost makes me emotional if I'm being honest. Caesar
1:56
Speaker 1: was a very old man. He was grey. He'd had
1:59
Speaker 1: two surgeries on each of his. Was this when he
2:02
Speaker 1: met Joe Jonas? Yes. Okay. All right. Yes. Yes. He'd
2:05
Speaker 1: had two surgeries on each of his. He couldn't throw
2:08
Speaker 1: a ball because he couldn't shift directions. No, he was hobbling.
2:11
Speaker 1: Things were not good. There were, there was a time
2:14
Speaker 1: when we had a newborn and my husband was also
2:17
Speaker 1: waking up with Caesar in the middle of the night,
2:18
Speaker 1: take him to the toilet. He had the chronic wee bum, which. Chronic.
2:21
Speaker 1: Every family with a dog has a different word for
2:24
Speaker 1: this particular disorder. But it's ailment. But it is when
2:28
Speaker 1: the poo becomes wee. It does. So my husband, he
2:32
Speaker 1: was a sad, sad day walking through his daily exercise.
2:37
Speaker 1: And Rory looked up and he thought, my goodness, that
2:40
Speaker 1: man looks awfully familiar. And that man looked at Rory, smiled.
2:45
Speaker 1: And your husband did have a, in another lifetime, he
2:49
Speaker 1: did work in the music industry. He was bottom of
2:52
Speaker 1: the barrel. And it's like, hey, Joe, we do the
2:55
Speaker 1: same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You may know me. I
2:57
Speaker 1: too listen to music. So Joe Jonas walked past, looked
3:03
Speaker 1: at Rory, smiled, then looked at Cesar and said, what
3:07
Speaker 1: a distinguished gentleman. What a distinguished gentleman because he did
3:11
Speaker 1: have a little tuxedo. He had a little white collar.
3:14
Speaker 1: He did. He was always dressed up. Yeah. And I thought,
3:18
Speaker 1: you know. Much like Pop, like we said, our late
3:21
Speaker 1: Pop died in a belt because he always had his
3:25
Speaker 1: belt on, his shirt. I swear he always had a
3:28
Speaker 1: pen in his top pocket. Yeah. Ironed. I remember I actually,
3:33
Speaker 1: this is quite sad, but I remember as he was
3:35
Speaker 1: wearing He did lie dying while I was holding his
3:39
Speaker 1: hand and I messaged you, you couldn't be there. And
3:41
Speaker 1: I said, don't worry, he's got his belt on. He's
3:43
Speaker 1: got his belt on. You can't have your pants falling down. Oh,
3:45
Speaker 1: we're doing a comedy podcast and we've talked about two
3:47
Speaker 1: dead people. What are we talking about? Okay, putting death aside,
3:51
Speaker 1: the reason I was bringing up the trinkets. Speaking of death,
3:54
Speaker 1: because I was going to bring this. Is that I
3:58
Speaker 1: was talking to you recently about kids and their fears.
4:02
Speaker 1: My three-year-old has a fear fixation, wanted to go for
4:08
Speaker 1: Halloween as a black hole. And she thinks about black
4:11
Speaker 1: holes a lot. And I was like, you know what?
4:12
Speaker 1: I grew up afraid of tsunamis, afraid of quicksand, afraid
4:17
Speaker 1: of like all of these things that never happened but
4:22
Speaker 1: felt looming. Well, the thing, it's not a stupid fear.
4:25
Speaker 1: Are they unlikely? Yes. But if they were to happen, bad. Terrible. Bad.
4:30
Speaker 1: You don't want to get stuck in quicksand. And genuinely,
4:33
Speaker 1: black hole, actually, I don't think there's anything worse. Sometimes
4:36
Speaker 1: I catch her just shaking her head going, it's dark.
4:39
Speaker 1: It's dark. And she said, it's not scary outside, it's
4:41
Speaker 1: scary in it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like,
4:43
Speaker 1: I remember being scared of a black hole. But as
4:46
Speaker 1: you get older, it's weird that those fears go away.
4:48
Speaker 1: And I'm like, how do I tell her you don't
4:50
Speaker 1: have to be afraid of those silly things? Yeah. You've
4:52
Speaker 1: got to be afraid of the cancer. Yeah. You've got
4:55
Speaker 1: to be afraid of. The tax man. Parking tickets. Yeah.
4:58
Speaker 1: Being audited. That happened to me recently. Being audited. Exactly right.
5:02
Speaker 1: That's the real thing. A landlord telling you. You've got
5:05
Speaker 1: to get out immediately. A landlord's saying, I want to
5:08
Speaker 1: come and see what you've done to the place. And
5:09
Speaker 1: you're going, I told you I didn't have a Caesar.
5:12
Speaker 1: And I do and he's got the chronic wee bum
5:13
Speaker 1: and we've got carpet. And there's hair everywhere. That's what
5:16
Speaker 1: you've got to be afraid of. And there's no pets
5:18
Speaker 1: allowed in his rental. So the point of the trinkets
5:23
Speaker 1: was that it's looking very much like we're running a
5:27
Speaker 1: business here. Yeah. We're entrepreneurs here. We have Gmail for business.
5:31
Speaker 1: It costs like $ 100. Do we? That's on the business card.
5:36
Speaker 1: Because I have found that ever since we have a business,
5:37
Speaker 1: it's called Lazy Girl Hour because we are now business owners,
5:40
Speaker 1: is that I feel like ever since we launched it,
5:42
Speaker 1: which was we had one meeting, us and our producer Jess,
5:47
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been trying to step back. Have
5:49
Speaker 1: you noticed that? Is that I feel like we're all
5:53
Speaker 1: in for like 15 minutes. And then I was like, hmm.
5:55
Speaker 1: I feel like I'll step back. This is too much
5:57
Speaker 1: for me. I'm going to have like a satellite roll. Yeah.
6:00
Speaker 1: You haven't done anything. No, I haven't done a thing.
6:02
Speaker 1: I have done things such as I got external hard drives. Yes.
6:07
Speaker 1: But they didn't arrive in time. So you had to
6:10
Speaker 1: like Uber Eats them. Speaking of Uber Eats. Sponsor us.
6:14
Speaker 1: Sponsor us. I was going to say. Yeah. Because Uber
6:16
Speaker 1: Eats friends to the lazy girl. Yeah. What's the weirdest
6:20
Speaker 1: thing you've ever Uber Eatsed? Oh, that's a good question. Oh,
6:26
Speaker 1: definitely a mid-afternoon soft drink, like just a one. And yesterday,
6:31
Speaker 1: this is a true story. I have not told you
6:33
Speaker 1: this yesterday. I went into a shop with Luna and
6:35
Speaker 1: Luna said, do you need to get your Pepsi Maxi?
6:38
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, my God, that's mortifying. That's
6:41
Speaker 1: mummy's little treat. That's mummy's little treat. I told Luca
6:45
Speaker 1: I had a meeting for this the other day. I
6:46
Speaker 1: was like, we've got to organise because we've got our
6:47
Speaker 1: new podcast. We've got to organise it. I have to
6:51
Speaker 1: get on top of it and I just need an hour.
6:54
Speaker 1: And he was like, okay, I'll take the kids. I
6:56
Speaker 1: was like, I run a business. I've got to get
6:58
Speaker 1: my taxes in order. I need an hour. And he
7:01
Speaker 1: was like, I'll take the kids. And I went for
7:03
Speaker 1: a walk and got myself a Pepsi Maxi. And I
7:05
Speaker 1: had to think. That is in the spirit of the show. Yes.
7:09
Speaker 1: Because Lazy Girl Hour, it is our new show. So
7:12
Speaker 1: we did used to co-host cancel one of the top
7:15
Speaker 1: comedy podcasts. We retired it because we accidentally had five
7:19
Speaker 1: kids in three years. Yes. Well, we retired it because
7:22
Speaker 1: we had, well, we didn't have a feud, but we
7:23
Speaker 1: kind of wished that we had a feud. It was
7:25
Speaker 1: very Gallagher brothers. It was very Harry and William. We
7:28
Speaker 1: had a feud. We rested it. And then we went,
7:30
Speaker 1: it's fine. We'll be back in like two weeks. Yeah.
7:32
Speaker 1: Three and a half years later. We're back. Watch out.
7:35
Speaker 1: Because you kept saying, when my nose heals, because you
7:38
Speaker 1: had a skin cancer. No, I said, once I get
7:41
Speaker 1: this baby out. Yep. And then I said, wait, wait, no, no, no.
7:44
Speaker 1: Once I get this next baby out and my gestational
7:47
Speaker 1: diabetes resolves. Yep. And I get this skin cancer cut
7:51
Speaker 1: out and my nose recovers and I get laser. You
7:54
Speaker 1: said it's all over here for your bitches. And here
7:56
Speaker 1: we are. So we are here, Lazy Girl Hour. It
8:00
Speaker 1: is a show where we've realised that we have to
8:03
Speaker 1: professionalise our catch-ups or they're hard to justify. So we
8:07
Speaker 1: hired a studio because you've got to spend money to
8:09
Speaker 1: make money. Yeah. That is actually such a business tenet.
8:13
Speaker 1: Because a couple of years ago, when I did leave cancelled,
8:18
Speaker 1: I very much had this moment of you have to.
8:20
Speaker 1: You kept going every time I got drinks, you'd have
8:23
Speaker 1: one drink and be like, you've got to own your shit.
8:24
Speaker 1: And I was like, you don't have any shit to own.
8:26
Speaker 1: And I was like, you've got to own it. You've
8:28
Speaker 1: got to own it. You can't work for the man. No.
8:30
Speaker 1: And people were like losing their jobs to AI and
8:32
Speaker 1: you're like, have you tried owning it? Yeah. Have you
8:34
Speaker 1: tried owning your shit? Yeah. Because I read one book.
8:37
Speaker 1: You're basically emigreed. No, I am emigreed. I genuinely am.
8:42
Speaker 1: And I try to inspire other women. When we were
8:46
Speaker 1: doing Cancelled, we did discover an unexpected community of lazy girls.
8:50
Speaker 1: So lazy boy was a joke in our family that
8:52
Speaker 1: we actually can't go into. It's too complex. It dates
8:55
Speaker 1: back 30 years. But we discovered lazy girls. And the
8:59
Speaker 1: way we got to that was that every time we
9:03
Speaker 1: prosecuted a celebrity and their crimes, which we did on Cancelled,
9:07
Speaker 1: laziness was a common thing. Crime. So Mariah Carey performing
9:12
Speaker 1: on New Year's Eve. She, terrible performance halfway through. She says,
9:16
Speaker 1: I want to be on holidays too. Yeah. We were like, Mariah,
9:19
Speaker 1: I get it. Then Adam Sandler, how he really just
9:24
Speaker 1: chooses where he wants to go on holiday and that's
9:27
Speaker 1: where he does his thing. And he does a film
9:28
Speaker 1: like 50 First Days and he's like, I just want
9:29
Speaker 1: to go to Hawaii. Let's make it work. Let's make it.
9:32
Speaker 1: These are my friends. It's tax deductible if you make
9:34
Speaker 1: a movie there. Yeah. And he's like, this guy, the
9:37
Speaker 1: only thing in Adam Sandler movies, that's because he's my mate. Yeah.
9:40
Speaker 1: He's my mate and he's unemployed otherwise. Yeah. Rob Schneider.
9:45
Speaker 1: Rob Schneider. Yeah. What else does he do? Yeah. Nothing.
9:48
Speaker 1: Waits by the phone. Kind of darting from foot to
9:51
Speaker 1: foot going, I really need Adam to call me because
9:53
Speaker 1: I can't pay my mortgage. And Adam's like, want to
9:55
Speaker 1: go to Vancouver? Yeah, I do. And he's like, actually. Yeah.
10:00
Speaker 1: girls was like, why ascribe malice when often it's just
10:04
Speaker 1: being lazy? And so our audience would write in their
10:07
Speaker 1: very best lazy girl stories, which we would always talk
10:10
Speaker 1: about on the show. For example, the one I've been
10:13
Speaker 1: thinking about lately is the one who said my Toddler
10:17
Speaker 1: said she wanted shorts. I ran upstairs to get her shorts,
10:20
Speaker 1: came downstairs, realized they were pants. I went, whatever shall
10:23
Speaker 1: I do? Cut them into shorts. And I'm like, that
10:25
Speaker 1: is a vibe. The contact lenses lady who said I
10:29
Speaker 1: got contact lenses, couldn't be doing glasses anymore. I popped
10:32
Speaker 1: one in, realized I could see. Job done. Yeah. That
10:36
Speaker 1: is the lazy girl philosophy that we love. And so
10:40
Speaker 1: we thought it's a lazy catch up, sacred space for silliness.
10:43
Speaker 1: You and I can sit here. We're going to arrive late.
10:45
Speaker 1: We did today. We'll leave early. Don't worry. We'll give
10:47
Speaker 1: you time back. Always. If this podcast, you say, everyone,
10:51
Speaker 1: I've got my lazy girl hour. And then the podcast
10:54
Speaker 1: only goes for 43 minutes. 17 minutes up your sleeve, babe.
10:56
Speaker 1: Have a nap. Yeah. Get some Papsy Maxi. Honestly. And
11:02
Speaker 1: so the ethos of this podcast is more gossip, less hustle. Yeah. Also, yeah.
11:10
Speaker 1: I had to get my head around that one as
11:12
Speaker 1: a businesswoman. I'm like, but there is some hustle. No,
11:15
Speaker 1: there's not. No fact checking, just vibes. Okay. That sort
11:20
Speaker 1: of thing. But yeah, all I do now is I
11:23
Speaker 1: run around my apartment saying, I run a business and
11:25
Speaker 1: this is all incredibly. I say it too. And my
11:27
Speaker 1: husband's literally a CEO. Yeah. And I'm like, do you
11:29
Speaker 1: know what it's like having employees? Yeah. Do we kind
11:33
Speaker 1: of have an employee? Our producer. I think, no, we're
11:35
Speaker 1: trying to make her part of our board. Yeah. Aren't we? Yeah.
11:39
Speaker 1: She's part of our board. I think that she runs
11:40
Speaker 1: the place while I'm stepping back. She can take over.
11:44
Speaker 1: Because speaking of, it's a hard time for the lazy
11:47
Speaker 1: girls professionally. Okay. It always is. It's hard. Do you
11:50
Speaker 1: know how hard it is to work when you don't
11:52
Speaker 1: want to? I do. It's so hard. But especially now, redundancies,
11:58
Speaker 1: et cetera, everyone's on LinkedIn getting AI to write these
12:01
Speaker 1: really cringe posts that are like. Everyone is having interviews
12:05
Speaker 1: with robots. Yeah, it's really confronting. And then to get
12:08
Speaker 1: rejected by a robot is, it's like, you're not even
12:10
Speaker 1: a person. You're not even real. I'm not good enough.
12:14
Speaker 1: But I am scrolling through LinkedIn and I'm seeing. Desperation.
12:18
Speaker 1: I can't look. Desperation. Yeah. And so what we thought
12:22
Speaker 1: we'd do, because we're here to help. Should we get
12:24
Speaker 1: on LinkedIn? We'll take that offline. We'll take that offline.
12:29
Speaker 1: But we think what everyone needs is to just jazz
12:33
Speaker 1: up their LinkedIn, make it look a bit better than
12:35
Speaker 1: it is. Because mine is lacking career diversity. It's lacking substance. Yeah,
12:41
Speaker 1: it is. I'm embarrassed. I wish it was better. And
12:44
Speaker 1: so we thought what we'd do is you can be
12:48
Speaker 1: part of the Lazy Girl board. Okay. We're going to
12:50
Speaker 1: have board members. So we're opening a Facebook group, limited. Okay.
12:56
Speaker 1: limited how many 500 okay and it's called lazy girl
13:01
Speaker 1: our executive committee and when you join you get to
13:04
Speaker 1: make up your own job title and you can put
13:06
Speaker 1: it on linkedin and will be a reference yeah because
13:09
Speaker 1: this is the thing it's like when they call us
13:10
Speaker 1: and we don't answer they're not going to call back
13:12
Speaker 1: everyone's too busy they put our number yeah like they're
13:15
Speaker 1: legit numbers but we won't be we won't be answering
13:17
Speaker 1: no but we could like i can't i can't um
13:21
Speaker 1: Say you're good at your job. I've never met you,
13:23
Speaker 1: but I know you're part of the executive committee and
13:25
Speaker 1: I think that's fine. And you can also like creatively
13:28
Speaker 1: help us. Are we just making people work for us
13:30
Speaker 1: for free? Yes. Yes. Yes. A little bit, but there
13:33
Speaker 1: are no expectations. Sorry. We're not asking them to do
13:36
Speaker 1: anything except come up with their own job title. Okay. Yeah.
13:38
Speaker 1: So you can be the CFO. We don't have one yet. Yeah.
13:41
Speaker 1: The C... M-O? M-O? Yeah, that's one. Yeah. Just C
13:46
Speaker 1: letter O. Yeah. All U. Okay. So we'll put a
13:49
Speaker 1: link for that in our show notes. Yeah. You can
13:51
Speaker 1: join that. All right. There's a few things that we're
13:52
Speaker 1: desperate to talk about today. Yeah. Okay. Can I just
13:55
Speaker 1: start by telling you about this random TikTok? Yeah. Okay.
13:58
Speaker 1: I tried to make you watch it earlier and you
14:00
Speaker 1: definitely didn't. So I brought it in and I just
14:02
Speaker 1: want you to watch it and then I want us
14:03
Speaker 1: to unpack it because I think it's very relevant to
14:06
Speaker 1: what we're doing right now. Because your TikTok's been missing
14:08
Speaker 1: the mark lately. Yeah. It generally does. Yeah. Okay, here
14:12
Speaker 1: we go. It's linked to my headphones, hang on. Okay,
14:17
Speaker 1: here we are. Yeah, I don't even believe in twins, but.
14:20
Speaker 1: So I have no idea what you meant by that,
14:22
Speaker 1: that you don't believe in twins. It just makes me
14:24
Speaker 1: very nervous. Okay. And I don't hold any edge against
14:28
Speaker 1: people that are twins. I love them. But. But it
14:31
Speaker 1: makes me very skeptical. You're creeped out. No, skeptical. Of?
14:37
Speaker 1: The reality of it. Have you seen that before? I
14:42
Speaker 1: get that. I have not seen that. So that's Theo
14:45
Speaker 1: Von something. Something I do. He's a podcasting colleague. I
14:49
Speaker 1: don't know much about Theo Von, but every video I see,
14:52
Speaker 1: I have to say, I know nothing. I think he
14:54
Speaker 1: has another name. He could be Manosphere. I genuinely don't know.
14:57
Speaker 1: I don't know. He seems lovely. What I see from
15:00
Speaker 1: him is a genuine curiosity about the world. Yeah. He's like,
15:03
Speaker 1: I'm scared. I'm scared. And I... Get it. Because we
15:06
Speaker 1: should say we're twins. That's why our voices sound the same. Yeah.
15:09
Speaker 1: We're twins. We have brothers who are twins. You had twins.
15:12
Speaker 1: I have Harry and Margot. They're eight months old. They're weird.
15:16
Speaker 1: And I saw that and I thought, okay, discuss. Because
15:19
Speaker 1: also skeptical. We've talked about how twins should be something
15:22
Speaker 1: you grow out of. Yeah. It's incredibly juvenile. Yeah. It's
15:25
Speaker 1: incredibly annoying. And I can say that. I'm suspicious when
15:30
Speaker 1: I see other twins. It's not real. It's like why–
15:34
Speaker 1: Why are there two of you? Like if there's one identity. Yeah.
15:37
Speaker 1: That especially with Identical. Yeah. And I understand his fear.
15:41
Speaker 1: He's talking to Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:46
Speaker 1: Who's like speaking of black holes. Yeah. Like that guy
15:49
Speaker 1: knows all about them. Yeah. And he's challenging him, but
15:51
Speaker 1: I'm like have more empathy for his position. Yeah. Because
15:54
Speaker 1: you might be a scientist who understands the genetic stuff,
15:58
Speaker 1: but like it is weird. Do you take any offence? No. No,
16:04
Speaker 1: I think I have a thick skin about the weirdness
16:05
Speaker 1: of being a twin. No, I agree. I agree. And
16:08
Speaker 1: I think that it's been lobbed at me and I
16:10
Speaker 1: have no defense. I've no, yeah. Oh, you have half
16:12
Speaker 1: a soul. That kind of thing. You have half a brain.
16:14
Speaker 1: You're gay. I might. I might. I might. What did
16:18
Speaker 1: you want to talk about today? Okay. I did think
16:21
Speaker 1: there may be questions about where we've been. Okay. I,
16:26
Speaker 1: shameless plug, I wrote a book. I did. It's next
16:29
Speaker 1: to you. What's it called? The Worst Thing I've Ever Done. Yeah.
16:33
Speaker 1: So I wrote that. Yeah. I promise I wasn't that lazy.
16:35
Speaker 1: All right. I was lazy when I was writing the book.
16:38
Speaker 1: It's all I did. Yeah. You used to, we never
16:40
Speaker 1: told your husband this, but you'd be like, I have
16:42
Speaker 1: to go to the library and go and write this book.
16:44
Speaker 1: And then I lived around the corner from the library.
16:45
Speaker 1: So he'd come to my house and nap. Yeah. Yeah.
16:48
Speaker 1: You told one of our friends that and she brought
16:50
Speaker 1: it up and I was like, oh, you know, those
16:52
Speaker 1: moments where you're like, people have been bitching about me. Yeah.
16:54
Speaker 1: Bitched about it. In front of you? No, no, no.
16:57
Speaker 1: You had clearly bitched to a friend. Oh, yeah. And
16:59
Speaker 1: then she was like, I heard you napped. And I'm like,
17:01
Speaker 1: that's something you would have only told her in a
17:04
Speaker 1: negative light. It's like the time you said you were
17:06
Speaker 1: going to Pilates and then you were late and they
17:09
Speaker 1: locked the door, which is so passive aggressive, and didn't
17:12
Speaker 1: let you in and then you cried and got McDonald's.
17:14
Speaker 1: I told people about that too. That seems like such
17:19
Speaker 1: a normal part of my life that I don't even
17:20
Speaker 1: remember that. I'm like, yeah. Did it happen yesterday? It
17:23
Speaker 1: was probably last week. But so I wrote a book.
17:27
Speaker 1: You have not really disappeared because you've been doing a
17:28
Speaker 1: podcast three to five times a week. But you've had
17:31
Speaker 1: a child most recently. Yeah. Yeah. That was 16 weeks ago.
17:34
Speaker 1: All right. Some would say. And I thought I haven't.
17:39
Speaker 1: Are you going to drop the birth story? I thought
17:42
Speaker 1: I dropped the birth story. Oh, wow. Because. Darcy is
17:47
Speaker 1: known as Darcy the Neglected or Darcy the Panicker. Yeah.
17:51
Speaker 1: Because he panics. He is such a panicker. But he
17:55
Speaker 1: hasn't been, he hasn't got anything, the little man. No.
17:58
Speaker 1: You realise the other day he doesn't have any toys.
18:00
Speaker 1: You're like, should I read to it yet? No. It's
18:02
Speaker 1: very a second child, but it's also a fifth. He's
18:05
Speaker 1: a fifth child. And we did an episode of Cancelled
18:08
Speaker 1: called Birth, Everything Smells Like a Farm. Yeah. And it
18:12
Speaker 1: was a lot of fun. And we got feedback where
18:14
Speaker 1: people said it did smell like a farm. Yeah. And
18:17
Speaker 1: there's hay. There's an aroma of hay. Hay. It's so odd.
18:22
Speaker 1: I had a Caesar the second time and I can
18:24
Speaker 1: say less farmy. Less farmy. Less farmy than... I'd say
18:27
Speaker 1: second birth a little bit less farmy. Maybe you get
18:30
Speaker 1: all the farm out. Maybe. The first time. But I
18:33
Speaker 1: thought it was a lazy birth story and I thought
18:36
Speaker 1: I'd tell it because birth stories always make people angry. Yep,
18:41
Speaker 1: there's opinions. They always offend someone who's like, you shouldn't
18:44
Speaker 1: do that. And it's like, okay. Did you intervention too
18:46
Speaker 1: close to the sun? I interventioned so hard that it
18:49
Speaker 1: was lovely. Okay. Yeah. Do you ever get just the
18:52
Speaker 1: right amount of intervention? Yeah. They're like cascade of intervention. Yeah.
18:56
Speaker 1: I love a cascade. Oh, I love an intervention. Yeah.
19:00
Speaker 1: Because I thought I'd tell it because the free birthers
19:02
Speaker 1: won't be happy. All right. Because there was no water.
19:06
Speaker 1: Talk us through. No home. No dimmed lights. No, no, no, no.
19:10
Speaker 1: None of that. It's just a bit of Love Island.
19:12
Speaker 1: So yes, yes. So my first birth, I listened to
19:15
Speaker 1: a book about hypnobirthing. I was doing affirmations and it
19:19
Speaker 1: all went to shit. So I went, how about the opposite?
19:24
Speaker 1: Hear me out. Give me an epidural at seven months
19:27
Speaker 1: and we'll see how we go. Yeah. So with this one,
19:31
Speaker 1: I was, I raw dogged from a prep perspective. I
19:34
Speaker 1: just didn't think about it. Yeah. I was like, no worries.
19:37
Speaker 1: I'll just, the doctor was like, do you want to
19:39
Speaker 1: be induced? You've got the diabetes. And I was like, yeah,
19:42
Speaker 1: you did have, you had gestational diabetes, which I also had. Yeah.
19:47
Speaker 1: And by, by the point of being 39, weeks, whatever
19:50
Speaker 1: I was, I was like, I, for me, this is
19:53
Speaker 1: about no longer being pregnant. Yeah. The baby's great, but
19:57
Speaker 1: I need to not be pregnant. On the gestational diabetes. Um, I,
20:00
Speaker 1: something happens within families where you bring that up and
20:03
Speaker 1: a doctor will ask, does this exist in the family?
20:07
Speaker 1: You go, yeah. So within families, there is only myth.
20:12
Speaker 1: And so I was sitting there once and I said
20:14
Speaker 1: to mum, mum, is there diabetes in the family? Because
20:16
Speaker 1: it is weird that Claire and I both got freaky weird,
20:19
Speaker 1: embarrassing twin shit. We both got gestational diabetes with our
20:23
Speaker 1: second pregnancies. And mum said, oh, my grandmother, so my
20:27
Speaker 1: great grandmother, had the shock diabetes. Have you heard this? Yes.
20:33
Speaker 1: Has the shock diabetes. And I was like, pardon? Pardon?
20:37
Speaker 1: What is shock diabetes? I don't think that's a medical thing.
20:39
Speaker 1: Is it a medical thing? No, it's not a medical thing.
20:41
Speaker 1: It's completely made up. I refuse to Google it. It
20:44
Speaker 1: feels like an Irish thing where they get a shock.
20:46
Speaker 1: For example, someone dies suddenly. Happens all the time when
20:49
Speaker 1: you have 45 children and like multiple husbands because they
20:52
Speaker 1: keep dying. You get a shock, you get the diabetes.
20:55
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, I think she just had diabetes.
20:56
Speaker 1: That would explain so much. It would explain a lot.
21:00
Speaker 1: And then I was doing my medical history recently, like
21:03
Speaker 1: going to a new clinic. And it's like, apparently Nan
21:06
Speaker 1: had a pig's heart. Yeah. Yeah. I just always pictured. Like,
21:10
Speaker 1: did she have a pig's heart? Yeah. A pig's heart.
21:12
Speaker 1: That's the family myth. Yeah. Our grandfather didn't have a leg.
21:16
Speaker 1: We also knew he'd gone to war. Correlation. He lost
21:18
Speaker 1: his leg in the war. We discover recently. Totally unrelated. Unrelated. Yeah.
21:22
Speaker 1: Do you know how he lost his leg? Gangrene? No,
21:25
Speaker 1: that's actually, that's a war myth. Okay. Um. Was it diabetes?
21:29
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But
21:32
Speaker 1: we should figure these things out. And then it's like,
21:34
Speaker 1: you know, your uncle Phil, he was in Changi. Yeah.
21:38
Speaker 1: Like at some prisoner of war camp or whatever. And
21:40
Speaker 1: it's like, what does that have to do with my
21:42
Speaker 1: family health history? Yeah. I'm trying to work out if
21:45
Speaker 1: we have the diabetes, which we absolutely definitely do. I'm
21:48
Speaker 1: learning about some crazy lady getting a shot. And I'm
21:53
Speaker 1: just really confused about my own glucose levels. And actually,
21:56
Speaker 1: because I've had this BCC skin cancer removed from my nose,
22:00
Speaker 1: which is all I talk about. With that, they're like,
22:05
Speaker 1: is this, did your family have this? Well, my identical
22:08
Speaker 1: twin sisters had three. And it's like, well, my identical
22:10
Speaker 1: twin sister, both my parents. And I'm like, and then
22:13
Speaker 1: there was a lot happened. I think by that stage,
22:16
Speaker 1: it's like, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. You know? Definitely. Definitely.
22:21
Speaker 1: She was just a walking BCC. It's like she was
22:23
Speaker 1: a nodule. By the end, she was a nodule and
22:26
Speaker 1: it was deep. It had rooted itself in her pig's heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:30
Speaker 1: But she'd given up. Yeah, she was fine. That was
22:33
Speaker 1: the least of her issues. She was blind. But so
22:35
Speaker 1: I've got the diabetes. Yeah. And I'm in a hospital.
22:38
Speaker 1: And so that's the reason I give people for the induction.
22:40
Speaker 1: But it's also like the real reason for the induction
22:43
Speaker 1: was my obstetrician's daughter was Was having a party. Okay. Yeah.
22:50
Speaker 1: And I respect that. It's about work-life balance. Yeah. Justice
22:53
Speaker 1: for obstetricians who also are like, I've got to clock off. Yeah.
22:57
Speaker 1: And so I was like, well, I don't. And it
22:59
Speaker 1: was at her house. Yeah. It was at her house.
23:01
Speaker 1: And I went, I'm probably going to go into labour
23:04
Speaker 1: and I want this obstetrician because she's lovely. Yeah. You
23:07
Speaker 1: don't want her midway through a toast. No. No, no, no.
23:10
Speaker 1: Toasting her daughter. Had a few champagnes and then. No.
23:14
Speaker 1: Doing an episiotomy. That's not what I want. No. So.
23:16
Speaker 1: I thought, no, we'll work around this because, as I've said,
23:21
Speaker 1: more intervention. As I say about anything that inconveniences me,
23:25
Speaker 1: it's 2026. It's 2026. I'm pretty sure we can schedule
23:30
Speaker 1: my birth around my obstetrician's daughter's birthday. I'm like, induction
23:36
Speaker 1: sounds great. Yeah. So I go into hospital. They put
23:38
Speaker 1: a thing up my vag. I go to sleep. Next morning,
23:43
Speaker 1: the worst part is they have to manually break my
23:47
Speaker 1: waters with a knitting needle. Yes. Again, I will repeat.
23:52
Speaker 1: It's 2026. It's 2026. Why are we doing that? There
23:55
Speaker 1: has to be a better way, honestly. Grok is over
23:59
Speaker 1: here making, like, I don't know, putting Halloween costumes on
24:04
Speaker 1: random people. people and making them animated. How about we
24:08
Speaker 1: just simulate a water breaking without a knitting needle? Yeah.
24:11
Speaker 1: Heidi Klum is dressing as a hand for Halloween and
24:16
Speaker 1: we don't have more advanced technology than a knitting needle
24:20
Speaker 1: in my service. Yeah. In my water. Did it work? Yeah,
24:24
Speaker 1: it did. And it was quite lovely. It's like pop
24:26
Speaker 1: and then it all comes out. Because I famously went
24:28
Speaker 1: to hospital presenting with my– broken waters, saying it's everywhere,
24:32
Speaker 1: it's everywhere. And they took the pad, they had a
24:35
Speaker 1: little look and they said, no, you've just wet yourself.
24:37
Speaker 1: And my husband was there and I was like, nah,
24:40
Speaker 1: it's my front waters. This is where the lack of
24:44
Speaker 1: dignity begins. Yes, begins. Certainly doesn't end. When you told
24:48
Speaker 1: me that, I was like, how embarrassing. And then when
24:50
Speaker 1: I was... in with Matilda, they paraded my pad around
24:54
Speaker 1: the unit because they said, does this look a bit
24:56
Speaker 1: of a funny colour? Yeah, because they thought it was meconium.
24:59
Speaker 1: Because Matilda, both, what does it say about me that
25:02
Speaker 1: both of my children shat in the womb before being born? Yeah.
25:05
Speaker 1: Both of them were the wrong way around. Yeah. Very,
25:09
Speaker 1: very don't get the memo. Yeah, that was both of them.
25:12
Speaker 1: So I had the waters broken. get an epidural almost
25:19
Speaker 1: straight away, which the free birthers would love. Yeah. They'd
25:23
Speaker 1: love that. Well, you didn't want to feel any pain. No. No,
25:26
Speaker 1: I don't. I simply don't need to. Yeah. So I
25:29
Speaker 1: get the epidural. Turns out my traumatic birth last time
25:32
Speaker 1: makes a lot more sense because I have a twist
25:36
Speaker 1: in my spine, which is lovely to know. Honestly, pregnancy,
25:39
Speaker 1: you just discover more and more about yourself. Yeah. I'm like,
25:42
Speaker 1: I've got the diabetes. I've got a twist in my spine. Yeah.
25:46
Speaker 1: I have a tilted cervix, so do you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway,
25:49
Speaker 1: so I've got a peanut ball between my legs because
25:52
Speaker 1: I'm not standing up for the reason that I don't
25:54
Speaker 1: want to stand up. And my obstetrician says, great, this
25:58
Speaker 1: is looking really good. You're a few centimetres. We've got
26:02
Speaker 1: a little while but not long. Yeah. I'm going to
26:05
Speaker 1: pop to Bunnings and get a tarp for my daughter's party.
26:09
Speaker 1: Was it going to rain? Yeah. Oh, that's so stressful
26:11
Speaker 1: for her. I know. So I was like, absolutely. I'll
26:14
Speaker 1: be here. Yeah. I can't. I'm like, this is just,
26:17
Speaker 1: you know, this is just a normal day. Yeah. And
26:21
Speaker 1: I'm going to have a baby. You're going to get
26:22
Speaker 1: a tarp. We want women to be firmer with boundaries. Yeah. Yeah.
26:26
Speaker 1: Family needs to take priority. Yeah. Like it's all about balance. Exactly. So,
26:30
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want her there delivering my baby thinking, oh,
26:33
Speaker 1: I've got to get that top. Yeah. So it was
26:35
Speaker 1: nice that she felt, I'm going to get the top,
26:37
Speaker 1: then I'm going to deliver your baby. Okay. I was like, great.
26:39
Speaker 1: Got a list, got a plan. Yeah, yeah. I'm like,
26:42
Speaker 1: that's really nice because I have some Love Island to
26:45
Speaker 1: get back to. Yeah. So I'm watching my Love Island
26:47
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, you want to have a chart? Yeah. Lovely, lovely, exciting.
26:51
Speaker 1: Baby loves it. To meet my baby. And then all
26:54
Speaker 1: of a sudden I feel... that sensation of I need
26:58
Speaker 1: to do a poo. Yeah. I know what this means.
27:00
Speaker 1: He's here. Here he comes. He's here. So I said
27:03
Speaker 1: to the midwife, I was like, I'm feeling something, which
27:06
Speaker 1: wasn't part of the agreement. We were all numb here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:13
Speaker 1: And she had a look. She said, yeah, I can
27:15
Speaker 1: see his head. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, great.
27:19
Speaker 1: The obstetrician did just go to Bunnings. Can we pull
27:21
Speaker 1: her back? And I don't know how far Bunnings is,
27:24
Speaker 1: but it's not next door. It's not. It's not. She's
27:27
Speaker 1: got no car. Yeah. Yeah. So. And you know, we've
27:30
Speaker 1: all been to Bunnings. We've all been to Bunnings. You
27:33
Speaker 1: don't just get a tarp, do you? Because you start looking.
27:35
Speaker 1: You start with the tarp and then you go, I
27:38
Speaker 1: need a gnome. Yes. And I might also need a
27:41
Speaker 1: hose extender. And some fairy lights. And some fairy lights.
27:44
Speaker 1: Might need a new toilet seat. God forbid if there's
27:46
Speaker 1: a sausage sizzle. Oh. You know, sometimes there's arts and crafts. Oh,
27:50
Speaker 1: my gosh. No, I genuinely, I was like. Plant, soil.
27:54
Speaker 1: If you're going to get that, you need a pot. Yep. Exactly.
27:58
Speaker 1: So the midwife is clearly saying to me, I know
28:02
Speaker 1: you may feel the urge to push. Don't push. We'll wait.
28:05
Speaker 1: And I was like, don't need to tell me twice. Yeah.
28:07
Speaker 1: I have no instincts, especially when it comes to survival. Yeah.
28:11
Speaker 1: So I'm fine. I won't be. Don't worry. I have
28:13
Speaker 1: been divorced from my feelings. This epidural ensures that I
28:17
Speaker 1: have no primal instincts. Women have been doing this for
28:21
Speaker 1: thousands of years. Not this one. No, not me. I
28:25
Speaker 1: shan't be having, having any instincts. So, um, then eventually, uh,
28:30
Speaker 1: Obstetrician runs in. I'm like, did we get our tarp?
28:33
Speaker 1: And all good. All good. And she's like, okay, now
28:37
Speaker 1: we start pushing. Absolutely chill. On my side, lift a
28:41
Speaker 1: leg up. Yeah. Pop it out. Yeah. Yeah. But there's
28:45
Speaker 1: an issue. Where am I? Where are you? Because I
28:48
Speaker 1: texted you and said, oh, I think he's coming. And
28:51
Speaker 1: you had said, I'm on my way. And I was like, ah,
28:54
Speaker 1: the issue is Other people I'd think, great. So you
28:59
Speaker 1: can wait for Tart, but you can't wait for me. No, exactly.
29:02
Speaker 1: But I was thinking with you, I'm like, she's going
29:04
Speaker 1: to get every red light. She's going to struggle to park. Yeah,
29:06
Speaker 1: I'm going to get lost. She's going to get lost.
29:08
Speaker 1: Because you know I panic. This is the thing. I'm like,
29:11
Speaker 1: she's the least efficient person on the planet. Is she
29:13
Speaker 1: even going to get here? So eventually I'm crowning, apparently.
29:19
Speaker 1: I can't feel it. And I'm pushing, pushing, pushing, and
29:25
Speaker 1: I hear her. Shriek. A shriek. A yell. A yell.
29:28
Speaker 1: My baby's here. My baby's here. Yeah. And it was you.
29:31
Speaker 1: And that's okay. I'll take over from my perspective because
29:33
Speaker 1: I ran in and I was like, I'm here to
29:35
Speaker 1: deliver a baby. I looked in between and I saw a.
29:40
Speaker 1: head coming out and it was like a snake eating
29:44
Speaker 1: a buffalo. Like when it dislocates its jaw and something
29:47
Speaker 1: too big is coming out. And I yelled, it's gigantic. Now,
29:52
Speaker 1: for context, I had had twins a few months prior, 1.7,
29:55
Speaker 1: 1.9 kilos, not big babies. They were the premmies. And
30:01
Speaker 1: I saw your baby and could not believe the size.
30:05
Speaker 1: I said, this baby's going to tear right through you. Yeah.
30:08
Speaker 1: Your vag is going to become one. Yeah. You're going
30:10
Speaker 1: to have a big hole. All your organs are going
30:11
Speaker 1: to fall out. I was worried. I then got my
30:14
Speaker 1: phone out to make content. Yeah. Maybe the executive committee
30:18
Speaker 1: could all share that. I could share the content. Exclusive access.
30:22
Speaker 1: Maybe we should make an OnlyFans. Yeah. Yeah, with your
30:25
Speaker 1: birth bids. Yeah, but it's lovely. It's actually less freaky
30:28
Speaker 1: than I thought it would be. But turns out Darcy
30:33
Speaker 1: was teeny-diny. You were wrong. Absolutely very, very small. No,
30:37
Speaker 1: I panicked. I did panic. 2.6 kilos. But you come.
30:42
Speaker 1: Everything's great. But I birthed a fully conscious baby. And, Darcy,
30:46
Speaker 1: I wanted to revisit this photo. Because I kind of
30:52
Speaker 1: didn't realize what I was seeing at the time. I
30:57
Speaker 1: can't explain it. He came out and he, people like
31:01
Speaker 1: he's been here before. And I was like, no, that,
31:04
Speaker 1: that baby is having a full on inner monologue. His
31:10
Speaker 1: eyes were wide open and he's like, mum. Hi, nice
31:13
Speaker 1: to meet you. shall we get back to Love Island?
31:16
Speaker 1: What's going on in the villa? Yeah. Because that's the
31:18
Speaker 1: only voice he had heard for the last few months. Yeah.
31:21
Speaker 1: And he was like, I need to get back to
31:23
Speaker 1: Maya and what's going on in Ibiza. Mayorka. Mayorka, Mayorka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No,
31:30
Speaker 1: so I did. I gave birth to a fully conscious baby,
31:32
Speaker 1: still fully conscious. And he's just, he is a panicker.
31:38
Speaker 1: He is a panicker. And I think that in my home,
31:41
Speaker 1: There's often a squeal, an oink, a cry, and we go, oh, Jesus,
31:45
Speaker 1: who's that? And it is Darcy Boy. He's been forgotten.
31:48
Speaker 1: He's often been, I would say, deposited on a safe surface.
31:54
Speaker 1: But it's hard to tell which one is crying because
31:56
Speaker 1: there are five. There are. There are five. But, yeah, no,
32:01
Speaker 1: had a baby. We invite feedback from our lazy girls.
32:05
Speaker 1: What do you think Claire should have done? Did she
32:07
Speaker 1: get too many interventions? No. Let us know in the reviews.
32:11
Speaker 1: Review her birth. Review my birth. But after having a
32:16
Speaker 1: traumatic birth and then having that, I will say very
32:20
Speaker 1: much out of your control. So do what you will, ladies. Oh, wow,
32:23
Speaker 1: you've got a lesson. I have a lesson. Oh, wow.
32:25
Speaker 1: Sometimes we have a coda. A coda. Oh, my God,
32:29
Speaker 1: a moral of the story. Yes, a moral of the story. Okay,
32:33
Speaker 1: bad segue. Okay. Okay. Did you see Hello Magazine dropped
32:41
Speaker 1: this rogue teaser on Instagram? No, but you– I didn't
32:46
Speaker 1: see it on my own, but you sent it to me. Okay,
32:48
Speaker 1: so it drops this teaser. Yeah. And let me tell
32:51
Speaker 1: you what it says. A royal exclusive is coming to
32:54
Speaker 1: Hello tomorrow. Set against the beautiful backdrop of the Cotswolds,
32:59
Speaker 1: our extraordinary 16-page photo shoot and exclusive interview is one
33:03
Speaker 1: you don't want to miss. Who do you think it's about? Okay. Okay.
33:08
Speaker 1: My first thought was Megan. It's got to be Megan Harry.
33:12
Speaker 1: It has to be Megan. I was like 16 page
33:16
Speaker 1: shoot in the Cotswolds in their like fancy, fancy house.
33:20
Speaker 1: I was so excited. Cause they're relaunching. They're relaunching. Yes.
33:25
Speaker 1: And you've met Megan personally. You of course have your story.
33:29
Speaker 1: My contribution to any chat about Megan is the time
33:32
Speaker 1: you met her. When I met her, she was lovely.
33:35
Speaker 1: You touched her in the flesh. I did. I think
33:37
Speaker 1: I shook her hand maybe. Beautiful. You congratulated her on.
33:42
Speaker 1: I said congratulations. And it was Archie in there. Yeah,
33:45
Speaker 1: because it was the day that she announced her pregnancy.
33:48
Speaker 1: She was pregnant. By the way, I met her with thousands,
33:52
Speaker 1: tens of thousands of other people at the opera house. No,
33:55
Speaker 1: you just like lined up like a freak. Like an
33:59
Speaker 1: absolute freak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a fan. Yeah. As
34:03
Speaker 1: one of those people who go and like hold a British,
34:06
Speaker 1: like a weird monarchist. I think I had a, I
34:08
Speaker 1: think I had a. Like you probably had a flag
34:11
Speaker 1: or a sign that's like, hello, Megan, we love you
34:13
Speaker 1: or whatever. Anyway. And it was quite, look, it was
34:18
Speaker 1: confronting for me when I then heard she hated that
34:20
Speaker 1: to us. Because I loved it. Yeah, because you had
34:22
Speaker 1: that really important moment with her. Yeah. And that, yeah,
34:25
Speaker 1: she was kind of depressed and she hated it. And
34:27
Speaker 1: I got caught up in it. In the bus. You did.
34:29
Speaker 1: Remember I made us drive to where she was staying.
34:33
Speaker 1: The house. Yeah, I wonder why she hated it. Yeah.
34:36
Speaker 1: Because freaks were driving around her neighbourhood trying to get
34:40
Speaker 1: a spotting. Well, 24 hours later and I'm like, where's
34:44
Speaker 1: my 16-page shoot? Yeah. And I get an update from
34:46
Speaker 1: Hello Magazine, who I don't follow, by the way. Yeah, sorry.
34:48
Speaker 1: I'm like, you sent me that and I was like, oh,
34:50
Speaker 1: I don't really keep up to date. It just popped up.
34:51
Speaker 1: With the Hello Magazine. No, and I'm not normally into shoots,
34:55
Speaker 1: but it popped up. Okay. 24 hours later, we learn
34:59
Speaker 1: it is, drumroll please, Harriet Phillips. Who the fuck is
35:03
Speaker 1: Harriet Phillips? Who the fuck is Harriet Phillips? And then
35:07
Speaker 1: I see the headline. Peter is my best friend. Who
35:10
Speaker 1: the fuck? Where the fuck is Peter? Who is Peter?
35:13
Speaker 1: Who is Peter? And where the fuck is Lilibet? I
35:17
Speaker 1: was promised Lilibet. Yeah. Right? So I see that. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
35:22
Speaker 1: Is it just her? Just Harriet? Yeah. Harriet met and
35:26
Speaker 1: married some guy named Peter, who I guess is a royal.
35:29
Speaker 1: She used to be a nurse. So 16 pages of
35:31
Speaker 1: Harriet and Peter. Yeah. And no children. No. And no Megan. Weird.
35:35
Speaker 1: Not even in the background. And I'm like, she's in
35:37
Speaker 1: the Cotswolds. Surely she's next door. Just ask her to
35:39
Speaker 1: be in the shot. Yeah. No, because Megan's in LA.
35:42
Speaker 1: She's in LA and then she's coming to Melbourne soon.
35:44
Speaker 1: But anyway, this brings me to a segment I'm trying
35:47
Speaker 1: to get off the ground. It's called Hootie Dootie. Oh, yes.
35:51
Speaker 1: You and I love a ghost story. Yep. When I
35:54
Speaker 1: finished up at uni, I was going to do a PhD.
35:57
Speaker 1: That PhD was going to be on ghost stories. I
35:58
Speaker 1: couldn't find a way to make it academic enough. So
36:01
Speaker 1: I bring it here. I had another segue, but you
36:05
Speaker 1: can't do a segue within a segue. No, you can't. No.
36:08
Speaker 1: I'll get back to that. Okay. I love ghost stories.
36:12
Speaker 1: We love ghost stories. And I found this article the
36:15
Speaker 1: other day of all the ghost stories to do with
36:18
Speaker 1: like royal castles and palaces. Oh, my God. Would you
36:21
Speaker 1: like to know the ghost stories I came across? Yes.
36:24
Speaker 1: I want the listeners to send us their ghost stories.
36:27
Speaker 1: So I want this to be a thing. Yes. Yes.
36:29
Speaker 1: I love other people's ghost stories. But the annoying thing
36:32
Speaker 1: is when you're like, tell me a ghost story and
36:33
Speaker 1: someone's like, one time my oven turned on by itself
36:37
Speaker 1: and it's like, do you have an electric shoe? I'm really, no,
36:41
Speaker 1: I'm really, really pissed off about that. Yeah. And then
36:43
Speaker 1: there are some that are too much. Yeah, they're like.
36:45
Speaker 1: It's like I saw a bars move in the middle
36:48
Speaker 1: of the room and I'm like, okay. Okay, so People
36:52
Speaker 1: Magazine did a very like verified list of ghost stories.
36:57
Speaker 1: First one, Windsor Castle. Okay. It's haunted by the Queen Mother,
37:01
Speaker 1: who's Charles's mother. Seems haunted. She seems haunted. Yeah. She
37:05
Speaker 1: walks around the library in high heels. And everyone can
37:09
Speaker 1: hear her go click clacking. Wow. Don't you reckon if
37:12
Speaker 1: you were a ghost you'd take your heels off? Yeah.
37:15
Speaker 1: Because I think that the memo for ghosts is be sneaky. Yes.
37:20
Speaker 1: Although if they were being sneaky they wouldn't get caught.
37:24
Speaker 1: I reckon some of them want attention. They do. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
37:29
Speaker 1: Slamming doors. Slamming doors. Turning TVs on. Standing next to
37:35
Speaker 1: you when you wake up in the middle of the night.
37:37
Speaker 1: Pulling doonas off your bed. Yeah, exactly. Okay, next one.
37:41
Speaker 1: Buckingham Palace. It's haunted by an enchained monk. Oh. I
37:46
Speaker 1: didn't really understand what that meant. So I clicked on
37:48
Speaker 1: the hyperlink because enchained monk was hyperlinked. Is a monk enchained? Well,
37:54
Speaker 1: I assumed so, but I wanted to do my due diligence. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:57
Speaker 1: And that page doesn't exist. Okay. Okay. So I assumed.
38:01
Speaker 1: You might say it's unverified. It's an enchained monk. And
38:05
Speaker 1: so he haunts the castle just walking around with these chains,
38:08
Speaker 1: which would be loud. Yeah. Hampton Court Palace in London
38:12
Speaker 1: is rumoured to be home to many spirits. including at
38:16
Speaker 1: least two of Henry VIII's six wives. Okay. Weirdly, I've
38:20
Speaker 1: listened to a podcast about Hampton House with a guy
38:24
Speaker 1: who hosts ghost tours there. And you know how ghosts,
38:26
Speaker 1: they ham it up too much. They ham it up.
38:28
Speaker 1: And they're just like, you may feel a gust of wind.
38:30
Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, it's the middle of winter and
38:32
Speaker 1: it's freezing. And then they're like, have you had a story?
38:34
Speaker 1: And he's like, ooh. And I was like, no, you haven't.
38:36
Speaker 1: You've worked there and you haven't had a story. I'm disappointed.
38:40
Speaker 1: I'm disappointed. I remember I did a ghost tour once.
38:43
Speaker 1: and we went into the little hospital and it was like,
38:45
Speaker 1: you may feel needle pricks on your legs. And I
38:47
Speaker 1: was like, I know what you're doing and I can't
38:50
Speaker 1: be manipulated. And yeah, I can feel some now, but
38:53
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's psychosomatic or something. And they're like,
38:55
Speaker 1: you might feel the presence. You might feel cold. Can
38:58
Speaker 1: you feel a cold wind on the back of my neck?
39:01
Speaker 1: And I look up, there's a vent, an air conditioning vent.
39:04
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm being played. And I paid $ 40
39:06
Speaker 1: for this tour. And just because you are wearing a
39:10
Speaker 1: witch's hat, Doesn't mean I'm not taking this seriously. I
39:14
Speaker 1: don't appreciate it. I think the reason we really like
39:17
Speaker 1: ghostly things is because there's a little bit of history.
39:20
Speaker 1: There's a little bit of history. That's what I always
39:22
Speaker 1: really like. I think ghost stories are my favourite way
39:25
Speaker 1: to absorb history. Yeah, I went to a jail. Yeah.
39:27
Speaker 1: And it's like, and that's where that person... hung. Like,
39:30
Speaker 1: if you look close enough, I can't tell you how
39:32
Speaker 1: close I'm looking. I reckon I've done 12 ghost stories,
39:36
Speaker 1: ghost tours. All I want is a ghostly encounter. That's
39:39
Speaker 1: all I want, just one. I really wish I'd had one.
39:44
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, I'm just not open enough. Yeah.
39:47
Speaker 1: I need to be a bit more open to it.
39:48
Speaker 1: I'm too sceptical. Okay, there's more. kensington palace where kate
39:52
Speaker 1: and william lived there are a bunch of ghosts such
39:54
Speaker 1: as and i quote this is his name peter the
39:57
Speaker 1: wild boy peter the wild boy you just know he
40:01
Speaker 1: wasn't that wild he's a classic guy he's like i'm
40:03
Speaker 1: just peter the wild boy and it's like blowing a
40:05
Speaker 1: whistle exactly that's not that wild so the royal family
40:10
Speaker 1: traditionally spends christmas at sandringham Is that in Scotland? I
40:14
Speaker 1: don't know. But sometimes apparently poltergeists, such a royal name
40:19
Speaker 1: for a ghost, cause mayhem by sending cards flying, pulling
40:24
Speaker 1: blankets off beds or playing with the lights. That's like
40:28
Speaker 1: the royal way of being naughty. It's like, I'm going
40:30
Speaker 1: to drop this deck of cards. Yes. You're like, come on.
40:35
Speaker 1: I'm going to make the tea set go clank, clank.
40:39
Speaker 1: Because there was also apparently this is Amnahal. So William
40:43
Speaker 1: is on the record of saying this is a quote
40:44
Speaker 1: from Prince William. It's not. It's like a report said
40:46
Speaker 1: that an insider said that he said, no old hall
40:50
Speaker 1: would be complete without a ghost, would it? And that's
40:52
Speaker 1: when I realized that the downside to being a royal, like, yes,
40:55
Speaker 1: are you rich? Yes, are you powerful? Yes, are you fancy?
40:58
Speaker 1: But amnahal. Has every house you've ever lived in been
41:04
Speaker 1: riddled with ghosts? Like we talk about privilege, right? Yeah.
41:08
Speaker 1: And I have ghost privilege. No. It's never the same one.
41:13
Speaker 1: No one talks about the issue that a lot of
41:17
Speaker 1: like aristocrats, I don't really know what an aristocrat is,
41:19
Speaker 1: but like a rich person. Yeah. I feel like they're
41:23
Speaker 1: being haunted. That's the price you pay. Yes, for like
41:27
Speaker 1: even the elite. It's like, oh, okay, you went and
41:30
Speaker 1: got like a French, like a little town. You bought
41:32
Speaker 1: your like French house. Well, guess what? It's 600 years
41:34
Speaker 1: old and that old lady lives there and she visits
41:38
Speaker 1: you at night. Because it's like ain't no one showing
41:40
Speaker 1: up at my place in a Victorian era dress. You
41:42
Speaker 1: know why? Because it was built 15 years ago from
41:45
Speaker 1: cheap material. It's made of asbestos. Even the ghosts got
41:49
Speaker 1: out of here. Guys, do you ever want to be here?
41:52
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here. A ghost is at
41:55
Speaker 1: least in a fancy castle. I think all of Scotland's haunted.
42:00
Speaker 1: That's my theory. I want to go to Edinburgh. Yeah.
42:03
Speaker 1: For the ghost tours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to
42:05
Speaker 1: do a special, like, ghost tour of Edinburgh. We should
42:08
Speaker 1: do a lazy girl. ghost tour, take people along with us.
42:11
Speaker 1: I remember actually we tried to do that when we
42:13
Speaker 1: were working at Mamma Mia. I remember we were like, okay, pitch.
42:16
Speaker 1: We go to the quarantine. Yeah, we made a video
42:18
Speaker 1: about it. I think we tried to catch a ghost.
42:20
Speaker 1: It was totally unapproved by any bosses. Yeah. I think
42:25
Speaker 1: they said like, this is very Hello Magazine for you
42:28
Speaker 1: to like try and find ghosts. And I was like, okay,
42:30
Speaker 1: everyone likes ghosts. And we were like, can we get
42:33
Speaker 1: the business to pay for the, and they're like, no,
42:35
Speaker 1: because we haven't approved it. And I was like, okay,
42:38
Speaker 1: we're not letting you write about this. We're not letting
42:40
Speaker 1: you publish anything. So I think the video was more
42:42
Speaker 1: for our own. It was boots on the ground journalism.
42:45
Speaker 1: We're like, I'll find a ghost and then you'll see. Well,
42:48
Speaker 1: I didn't find a ghost and no one saw. Nothing happened.
42:51
Speaker 1: Fun evening. Really funny. It was absolutely evening. Speaking of
42:54
Speaker 1: a fun evening. Yeah. I watched. The Swan documentary. Where
43:00
Speaker 1: is it? Like where can I watch it? I haven't
43:02
Speaker 1: watched it yet. All right. And The Swan was that
43:05
Speaker 1: show that we watched when we were teenagers and impressionable
43:08
Speaker 1: where it was like, you're an ugly as fuck duckling.
43:12
Speaker 1: Let's make you hot through cosmetic procedures. Yeah. Let's just totally,
43:16
Speaker 1: it was like extreme makeover with a competition element, which
43:20
Speaker 1: was a pageant. Oh, that's right. You got a new face. We,
43:25
Speaker 1: you've been severed and you lose. Yeah. Yeah. Because what
43:28
Speaker 1: it would be is it's like, okay, me and you
43:30
Speaker 1: go get all this plastic surgery. And then. No, was
43:34
Speaker 1: this a show where your friends and family nominated you?
43:38
Speaker 1: That might have been extreme makeover. I always thought that's harsh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:42
Speaker 1: Like you get a knock on the door and it's like,
43:44
Speaker 1: your colleagues have nominated you to get a new face.
43:47
Speaker 1: And you're like, what? It's just a Tuesday. But no,
43:52
Speaker 1: this one you definitely nominated yourself. And so we would
43:55
Speaker 1: both get totally made over. And then after that, we
43:58
Speaker 1: arrive at a palace. Yeah. And there's like curtains and
44:02
Speaker 1: it opens and you're like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
44:04
Speaker 1: oh my gosh. And then they're like, which one's hotter?
44:06
Speaker 1: Who chooses? Like a... Like a board? Like judges. Yeah,
44:11
Speaker 1: like judges. But I think they were the surgeons. All right. Yeah.
44:14
Speaker 1: Judging their own work. So they chose. And that was
44:17
Speaker 1: particularly traumatizing. So the Swan documentary is very much in
44:22
Speaker 1: the vein of like, you know, the top model one.
44:24
Speaker 1: And there's been like a revisiting of all the shows.
44:26
Speaker 1: I don't think we needed to revisit. I know. Watching
44:28
Speaker 1: it as a teenager, I was like, excuse me, this
44:31
Speaker 1: is fucked. This is actually fucked up. Yeah. I know
44:34
Speaker 1: we'll be watching every episode. Yes. Yes. Yes. And so
44:38
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to be reminded of what
44:40
Speaker 1: this show was because whenever I think about it, I
44:44
Speaker 1: think first thing that comes to my head is what
44:47
Speaker 1: would I have done? Like what would I choose to
44:49
Speaker 1: have done? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one of the contestants
44:53
Speaker 1: in this says... that she wanted everything done above her ankles.
44:58
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, my God. But then I
45:00
Speaker 1: was like, no, I don't want my feet. I was like, no,
45:03
Speaker 1: my feet aren't great. No, I've got the puffy feet. Yeah. Yeah.
45:08
Speaker 1: There was a clip of a surgery where they were like,
45:11
Speaker 1: cancles done. And I was like, you can do cancles. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
45:19
Speaker 1: How much is that procedure? Yeah. What's the downtime for
45:27
Speaker 1: a little cankle revamp? Revamp. So this was in, the
45:32
Speaker 1: swan was in 2003. Not a good time. Something I
45:36
Speaker 1: didn't consider was that like medical technology and like these
45:42
Speaker 1: kinds of surgeries. Wasn't good. Yeah. And so a lot
45:45
Speaker 1: of the surgeries that they did were not, the best
45:50
Speaker 1: no so they were learning in real time yeah yeah
45:53
Speaker 1: yeah yeah and you could see that like you knew
45:55
Speaker 1: that sometimes they showed up and they're like oh you
45:57
Speaker 1: know it's like you're obstetrician it's like you've got good
46:00
Speaker 1: days at work and bad ones yeah and it's like
46:03
Speaker 1: didn't nail it today there's always tomorrow yeah the problem
46:06
Speaker 1: was someone's face and their nose was now their ear
46:10
Speaker 1: And that was their life. That was their life. Done.
46:14
Speaker 1: So they did the same dental procedure with everyone. Remember,
46:17
Speaker 1: you just. It was like knocked out all the teeth.
46:19
Speaker 1: Gave them some pebbles. So they were totally normal teeth.
46:23
Speaker 1: And they're like, no veneers. We're going to shave these
46:26
Speaker 1: down into a nub. And then we're going to stick
46:28
Speaker 1: something over it. But the thing about the veneers is
46:30
Speaker 1: like there was no even gaps between the teeth. It
46:32
Speaker 1: was like we just have big white slabs top and bottom.
46:36
Speaker 1: And what more could one want? Absolutely terrible. Really bad
46:39
Speaker 1: long term. So in this doco, they talk about this.
46:44
Speaker 1: The creator was a woman named Nellie Galan. And she
46:50
Speaker 1: was like, I want to empower women, transform their lives.
46:53
Speaker 1: And so she became the show's life coach. I don't
46:56
Speaker 1: believe she had any qualifications. Okay. And her life coaching
46:58
Speaker 1: was mostly like, fat, fat, fatty, why are you still eating? Okay.
47:04
Speaker 1: But the issue was, they think, that you know how
47:07
Speaker 1: they're looking to point and blame someone? Yeah. So they're like,
47:11
Speaker 1: her vision. Oh, sorry. You're all culpable. Yeah. Anyone who
47:15
Speaker 1: held a scalpel and gave someone a breast augmentation, let's
47:19
Speaker 1: be real, without their consent. Yeah. No, you didn't help anyone.
47:25
Speaker 1: And they were always, there's something about a male surgeon
47:29
Speaker 1: when a woman has had a breast augmentation and they
47:31
Speaker 1: walk in and they just like marvel at their own work. Well,
47:33
Speaker 1: speaking of that, there is this surgeon on this show
47:37
Speaker 1: who is, he comes across so, and I'm very aware
47:40
Speaker 1: that I'm like. Okay, editing. And this is like, this
47:44
Speaker 1: is really a reality show about a reality show. Like
47:46
Speaker 1: you are editing this guy to look like a villain. Yeah.
47:48
Speaker 1: But there are things that come out of his mouth. Yeah.
47:50
Speaker 1: And one of them is he looks back at a
47:52
Speaker 1: clip and he says, I do have empathy now because
47:55
Speaker 1: in the years since that happened, I got a dog. Wait, what? Yeah.
48:01
Speaker 1: What does that have to do with anything? I got
48:03
Speaker 1: a dog and now I understand emotions better. Oh my God.
48:07
Speaker 1: So she's a bit like a dog. it took it
48:10
Speaker 1: took did you dog put sorry did you put breasts
48:16
Speaker 1: on your dog is that what you're saying that's how
48:19
Speaker 1: i'm reading it but he is the way he talks
48:24
Speaker 1: about what he is doing to these women because it
48:26
Speaker 1: was wasn't always women uh oh oh my god yes
48:30
Speaker 1: yes and then they i feel like every now and
48:32
Speaker 1: then like Once in a blue moon they'd do men
48:34
Speaker 1: and no one would watch and they'd be like, see,
48:36
Speaker 1: no one cares. No one cares. It's only fun when
48:38
Speaker 1: it's the ladies. It's only fun when it's the ladies
48:41
Speaker 1: because they're socialised to hate themselves. That makes for better television.
48:45
Speaker 1: Men have more domains of their identity. Yeah. So these
48:48
Speaker 1: women would go in and this guy, this plastic surgeon,
48:52
Speaker 1: talks about how he was almost like an engineer or
48:56
Speaker 1: a plumber. That's how he saw it. And it's like
48:58
Speaker 1: that's very objectifying because you are speaking about women like
49:02
Speaker 1: they are. And they're always very like trigger happy with
49:05
Speaker 1: their scalpel. Like, you know, they just want to, you
49:07
Speaker 1: know when a toddler first discovers scissors and you give
49:10
Speaker 1: them like a piece of paper and they're just like,
49:11
Speaker 1: I just want to cut. That's every surgeon with a
49:14
Speaker 1: woman's body. That's my toddler walking around with just, you
49:19
Speaker 1: tie her hair up in a ponytail and there is
49:21
Speaker 1: clearly just a patch. And that is where your daughter
49:24
Speaker 1: and my daughter are pair of scissors. Okay. And your
49:28
Speaker 1: daughter can be trusted. Something about human nature. Yeah. Give
49:31
Speaker 1: them something to cut with. Yeah. They're going to cut.
49:34
Speaker 1: They're going to cut. Some of their hair. But I'm
49:37
Speaker 1: watching this and it's, So for a lot of these women,
49:41
Speaker 1: the issue was they're like, the surgery, free plastic surgery.
49:46
Speaker 1: Who doesn't want free tits? That's the vibe. It's a
49:50
Speaker 1: little line. Who doesn't want some free tits, right? But
49:56
Speaker 1: then they're like, it was the competition element. No. Don't
50:03
Speaker 1: try and say it was just that. Extreme makeover was bad.
50:06
Speaker 1: You know what else is bad? Wife swap. Wife swap
50:09
Speaker 1: is bad. I love how it wasn't husband swap. It
50:12
Speaker 1: was wife swap because it's like you want to trade
50:16
Speaker 1: your bitch for another bitch. You want to trade bitches?
50:20
Speaker 1: They're all crazy. But they're crazy in different ways. And
50:25
Speaker 1: I think all the time with lifestyle, I'm like, I
50:27
Speaker 1: want it back. What can I say? I'd watch it again.
50:32
Speaker 1: So they do the pageant and the saddest bit is
50:36
Speaker 1: this woman was like, oh, I heard about the pageant
50:38
Speaker 1: and I thought, what will my talent be? And I'm like,
50:40
Speaker 1: it's not about the talent, babe. There's no talent. It's
50:43
Speaker 1: about how well you've healed and how well they could
50:46
Speaker 1: cover the bruises with foundation. Because you can see it's
50:50
Speaker 1: like you have a scar around your forehead from where
50:52
Speaker 1: they pulled your face off. And sewed on another face. Yes. Yes.
50:59
Speaker 1: So they do these pageants and it's just so cringe.
51:01
Speaker 1: And everyone was blonde. Oh, everyone. Or at least blonde highlight. Yeah.
51:06
Speaker 1: One woman, they said she had masculine teeth. Okay. And
51:09
Speaker 1: she's looking back on it and she goes, masculine teeth?
51:14
Speaker 1: Like a dick and balls. Are you digging balls? I'm like, oh, yeah.
51:20
Speaker 1: That is masculine, too. I don't know. I didn't think
51:24
Speaker 1: they looked particularly masculine at all. Okay. But they also
51:30
Speaker 1: had to do Jenny Craig and they like weren't eating anything.
51:33
Speaker 1: And one woman says it tasted like bad decisions and regret. Okay.
51:37
Speaker 1: She said so many of us didn't shit for a week.
51:40
Speaker 1: That's the same one who made the comment about the
51:42
Speaker 1: chicken balls. You also didn't shit for a week because
51:45
Speaker 1: you were on really strong painkillers. Yeah. Ever since they
51:48
Speaker 1: tore your teeth out. Yeah. Like cut up your eyelids.
51:54
Speaker 1: Cut up. your breasts put zed breasts on a tiny
51:58
Speaker 1: little frame because that was the fashion loaded you up
52:02
Speaker 1: with painkillers you're never gonna shit again shitting isn't important
52:06
Speaker 1: to them they probably got a bit trigger happy did
52:08
Speaker 1: some cutting they've sewed up your butthole on as part
52:12
Speaker 1: of your bbl yeah exactly they were also like working
52:16
Speaker 1: out heaps i'm like you're not meant to exercise after
52:18
Speaker 1: surgery no Like, it was bad. But that dentist, by
52:24
Speaker 1: the way, who gave them all the same teeth, lost
52:28
Speaker 1: her license since. And I think it's all summed up.
52:33
Speaker 1: Great doco, I will say. Great to have on in
52:36
Speaker 1: the background. Don't really need to concentrate. Very visual. And
52:39
Speaker 1: at the end, they have a reunion. They all cheers
52:41
Speaker 1: to tits, teeth, and trauma. Wait, wait. Do they look good?
52:46
Speaker 1: They look like normal women of their age, which is
52:49
Speaker 1: really interesting. So did their surgery melt? Yeah, and they
52:52
Speaker 1: couldn't afford to do like top-ups. To the upkeep. Yeah.
52:55
Speaker 1: They're like, I couldn't afford Botox. Why would I get Botox?
52:57
Speaker 1: I have a family. I had a family to feed.
53:00
Speaker 1: I couldn't afford that. So they've aged in a lovely way.
53:05
Speaker 1: I've always thought this. It's like it's one thing to
53:07
Speaker 1: not be hot. What you don't want is to have
53:09
Speaker 1: once been hot. You don't want to taste of that. No.
53:12
Speaker 1: You don't want to taste of that. I think I'm
53:14
Speaker 1: honestly finding aging quite fine because my looks are never
53:18
Speaker 1: my currency. Yes. It's so boring. Exactly right. Exactly. Whereas
53:22
Speaker 1: I'm like, it would have sucked to be hot at 16. Yeah.
53:25
Speaker 1: Because it's all downhill from there. And I'm like, there's
53:28
Speaker 1: no hill. There's no hill. It's, if anything- It's an
53:32
Speaker 1: incline as I wear things. Well, you got your laser.
53:35
Speaker 1: I got my laser. You got a big scar on
53:38
Speaker 1: your nose. Yeah, you're lucky. You're lucky it's not your currency. Yeah.
53:44
Speaker 1: I need to share a lazy girl story because that's
53:46
Speaker 1: what we do every episode is we get a lazy
53:47
Speaker 1: girl story from– One of our listeners. Can I just say,
53:51
Speaker 1: my favourite, because you shared your favourite Lazy Girl stories earlier,
53:55
Speaker 1: my favourite will always be a story, and it had
53:57
Speaker 1: a title, which is... Merle. A Ghost Called Merle. Oh,
54:01
Speaker 1: Ghost Called Merle. This is my favourite. And it was
54:03
Speaker 1: a lazy girl who was being haunted, but she was
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Speaker 1: so lazy she couldn't get out of the way. And
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Speaker 1: that's the thing about... I think that's why it kind
54:11
Speaker 1: of goes with the vibe of this podcast, is, like,
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Speaker 1: if you were haunted in the middle of the night,
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Speaker 1: you wouldn't do anything about it. No, I'd be like...
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Speaker 1: Like I just wouldn't have the energy. She knew that
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Speaker 1: this ghost was on a particular floor of her house
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Speaker 1: and she could have gone and like gone downstairs. She
54:26
Speaker 1: could have gone to the other room, but she didn't
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Speaker 1: want to because she was like, I want to be here.
54:28
Speaker 1: And Mel would get into her room and she was like, Mel, honestly,
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Speaker 1: as long as you're quiet, let's just share the space.
54:34
Speaker 1: Let's just share the space. Clean up after yourself. So please,
54:37
Speaker 1: Lazy Girl Hour on Instagram, DM us your lazy girl
54:41
Speaker 1: stories and we're going to share our favourite ones. This
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Speaker 1: is my one from this week. Chloe writes... I discovered
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Speaker 1: our new robot vacuum has a live video and microphone feature.
54:52
Speaker 1: Her having a robot vacuum isn't even the lazy girl hack, but, like, respect. Yeah.
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Speaker 1: I was in bed sleeping in one morning and sent
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Speaker 1: it into the office to request my husband bring me
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Speaker 1: a coffee. It works every time. What? I have also
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Speaker 1: asked him to come and turn off a light for me. Oh.
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Speaker 1: Through the vacuum. Okay. That's like the best life hack
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Speaker 1: I've ever heard. That's so– because it's like– it's like vac, yes,
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Speaker 1: but also people forget about the robo. The robo element.
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Speaker 1: The robo element. That you can just go and bark
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Speaker 1: instructions at people. When you said sent it to the office,
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Speaker 1: I didn't picture him waiting for mine. Okay. So I
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Speaker 1: did picture directing robo with a remote control into an Uber.
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Speaker 1: Main road. Oh, I was main road. I was turn left.
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Speaker 1: I was getting the bike lane. I was go upstairs,
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Speaker 1: get a coffee, and it's like– And it's like, hey,
55:40
Speaker 1: and he's in like an executive suite. And you're like, hey,
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Speaker 1: can you get me a coffee? And he's like, hon,
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Speaker 1: I'll put it in the robo. The robo needs a
55:49
Speaker 1: cup holder. A cup holder. Exactly right. The robo is
55:51
Speaker 1: so dirty by them. So dirty. Please send us your
55:55
Speaker 1: Lazy Girl stories. They are our absolute favourites. And, of course,
55:58
Speaker 1: your Hootie Dootie. And your Hootie Dootie. And you can
56:00
Speaker 1: join the Lazy Girl Executive Committee on Facebook. At some
56:03
Speaker 1: point we'll set up an email address. I've been thinking
56:06
Speaker 1: about doing that so then they can email us. I
56:07
Speaker 1: don't know. We actually know because I did purchase Gmail
56:10
Speaker 1: for business and we do have email addresses. Okay. I
56:14
Speaker 1: think it's Claire at LazyGirlHour.com. But I'll confirm that. Okay.
56:19
Speaker 1: All right. Cool. Thank you so much for joining us. Please, like,
56:22
Speaker 1: leave us a review. Like, we're just ladies in business
56:26
Speaker 1: and we're just, like, trying to own our shit. Yep.
56:29
Speaker 1: Trying to hustle. Trying to hustle. Emigrating the shit. Yeah.
56:34
Speaker 1: Emigrating the shit. So please, like, support us. Follow. Leave
56:38
Speaker 1: a review. Yeah. We'd really like that. You don't have to, like,
56:41
Speaker 1: give us, like, money because we don't have, like, a Patreon. But, like, just...
56:46
Speaker 1: We won't, this is a very, we won't ask for
56:50
Speaker 1: anything from you. That, sorry, that requires standing up. That requires,
56:55
Speaker 1: that's actually such, no, I reckon that we might do
56:57
Speaker 1: live events. Oh, yeah. But you don't have to come. Okay,
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Speaker 1: all right. That's actually a great point. Thank you so
57:02
Speaker 1: much for joining us. And we'll be back next Thursday.
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Speaker 1: Lazy Girl Hour, every Thursday. We'll be back next Thursday. Bye. Bye.
57:09
Speaker 1: We acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation on
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Speaker 1: whose land we're recording today.