Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST EPISODE _7 _HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS

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SEASON 2 DA CREW PODCAST EPISODE _7 _HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS · DA CREW Podcast

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Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome to the Crew podcast. I am
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the visionary Queen Angela and welcome to season two. I want to thank you
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for tuning in and for all of your support throughout season one. We're back
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Get featured, Sweeze Sweezee. Good evening and welcome to Believe in the Journey
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Podcast. Welcome to season two. We are grateful that you are here with
2:52
us tonight, tuning in to Believe in the journey. We know that it
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is Super Bowl Sunday, but I thank you for taking the time to tune
3:00
in with us tonight. I am your host, Trevita Harris, and this
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is my first show coming back for season two. I am grateful that you're
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here with us tonight. I want to dedicate this show to my mom coming
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back for season two. This is something that she enjoyed watching me do,
3:19
watching my fellow podcast sisters, the family and everything. She was always looking
3:24
forward to the next show that was coming up. So I want to dedicate
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this show to my mom, Miss Alfridia Ann Harris. And tonight we're gonna
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be talking to my guest, Mss Lacoya Fraser, and we're gonna be talking
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about blended family. Most of the time, we don't want to touch on
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this subject, but it's part of life that we end up going through.
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But before we do any and anything, we gotta go to God in prayer
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and thank him for the opportunity to be part of season two of the Crew
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Postcast Family. So, Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together.
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You do each and every time we come in front of you, You
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bless us and give us the worst that we need to share with those who
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need to hear. Let any heart that's heavy, lay it at your feet.
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Guide them through anything that they may be going through, where there is
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good or bad or indifferent. You know the outcome of each and everything that
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we face. We honor you, and we thank you and your precious and
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holy name. Amen tonight. As I said, my guest tonight is miss
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Laquoia Fraser. She was born in Syracuse, New York. She is now
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residing in Gris, South Carolina. She is a proud mother of two children.
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She has one granddaughter that she spends a lot of time with and she's
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very spoiled. She may not tell you that she is the oldest of amongst
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her cousins. She's a beloved daughter. She loves to read a good book,
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have a good conversation, meaningful conversations and experiences. This is my friend,
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missus Laquoia Fraser. Welcome to the show. Hey girl, girl,
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how are you doing good? Doing good? I know it is a national
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holiday, whether many people want to admit it or not, but you know,
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I think those who have taken the time to tune in with us tonight
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and we're gonna talk about blended family, I can say that I definitely come
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from a blended family because you know, my mom and my dad, they
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each had another spouse. My mom had two additional children. I'm the I'm
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the oldest of all four, the smallest of all four. Also, my
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stepdad, I don't know if he ever had any other kids. If he
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did, I never met them, But that ain't really got nothing to do
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with me. But you know, if he did, you know, my
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siblings had, you know, that part of their family to deal with.
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But I have my step mom. It's Mama Jay. So she treated me
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like I was her own m hm. And she still treats me like her
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own. And I'm grateful for that opportunity. Now, when you got married,
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did you think that that marriage was going to be a forever marriage.
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Well, no, you thought it was gonna be a forever marriage, which
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actually ended up in divorce. So that is another time. Okay, But
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when you talk about their family, well, listen, I could definitely talk
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to you about it. It's a delay, I think, Yeah, I'm
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catching it. Yeah, it's a delay. But you know, blended families,
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like you have two adult children, like my ex husband has a son,
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and that child loves to be at my house, in my space,
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and I've never looked at him as you know, that's my ex husband's son.
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Any kid that's in my presence, it's my child any way. That's
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just how I look at it, and that's how I treat them. I
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don't think many adults, whether it's black or white or whatever, when the
7:42
relationship goes south, you have some people that are very immature when it comes
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to allowing the children to be with that other parent without the let me see
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how I can put this without the foolishness, so to speak, right right,
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they'll go, let's go. Yeah. So what are your thoughts on
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on that, Because it's difficult when you start to date someone else and they
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have children, whether they're older children or younger children. What are your thoughts
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as far as making a blended family work without the foolishness? What does it
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take? It takes a lot of communication. You have to learn how to
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let go of that other person so that they're able to move on in the
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relationship to be comfortable. Yes, you have to. Also when you're blending
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this family with these kids. Your husband has kids, you have kids,
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and then the significant others of them. It's just like it's a respect factor
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and if there's no respect, then it's not gonna work right. And a
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lot of relationships these days, you know, don't work with the blended families
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because your partner keeps going backwards. If you don't understand how this works,
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it's not gonna work. I have children, and it's like if that father
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keep going backwards or that mother don't know how to let go, I can't
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do what I need to do right. See. One of the things that
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I think sparks trouble in trying to blend a blended family is the partner once
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the relationship, once the two parties who had the child agree to separate,
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I feel like the access needs to be limited to only discussing the child.
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Anything outside of that, it becomes are you trying to rekindle the relationship?
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Are you trying to actually punish the other person? What it's the father that
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has the kids or is the mother? Are you keeping the child away because
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you're angry that the relationship ended, or But like I feel like paruarantee can
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exist when the when the when both parties are mature enough to have that communication
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where they can talk and it not be brought up to why the relationship ended,
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because I feel like most of the times that happens where the bitter party
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is so angry with the partner, that relationship that the child has with the
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other parents. Right when you got those two other parents carrying on and not
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being truthful with one another about the relationship, it makes it hard on their
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new wife or their new husband. So they just have to be honest with
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one another that what's happening. So, you know, yeah, it all
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depends. It all depends on a given situation, because all of them are
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different in Turkey. Yeah, and they really are. And I've seen some
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that work really well. I can say that when my ex husband and his
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son's mom, it was it was difficult, even though I tried several times
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to make it to where it wasn't an issue. Because when the little boy
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was just a baby, I invited my ex husband and his girlfriend at the
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time to my house so that we could discuss how that how the kids were
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gonna, you know, interact with each other. If she needed a break,
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the child was welcome at my house. House, he could stay.
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You know, y'all go do what y'all need to do. I have no
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interest in being with him anymore. That's not my desire. That's not my
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desire. I just want to make sure that my my children are able to
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be with their sitis. That was what was important to me, and that
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went left several times and it was not on my my side. So when
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they their relationship ended, she would call me and ask had I talked to
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the dad And I'm like, I don't have any contact with him, so
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I'm not sure why you're calling me. But remember when I was telling telling
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you you that my children need did their father? You owe me to mind
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my business and that your kids were more important than those three that we had.
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So now the shoe has flipped. Now you want to bless in the
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blow that your child is having to experience, but you blame me when I
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was just trying to make sure that their father was in their lives. Now
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you see that it was never me that was the issue. It was whatever
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was going on. If my dad says this is a great storyline, God
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bless everyone watching. This is need information. Thank you, daddy. But
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you know that was one of the things and it was like, Okay,
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I'm not hindering them to grow up in the same space, in the same
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city and not even know that each other existed. And so now this child
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is about fourteen fifteen years old. He still loves to come to my house
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and I have no problem with that. One of their children, one of
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his wife's children, needed her hair done, and so my daughter asked me.
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She was like, MI, can you do her hair? And I
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was like, baby, I'm gonna have to pray about that and think about
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that, because you know, I'm trying to stay out of that space,
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you know. And so I prayed about it, and of course I did
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the young lady's hair, and I also invited the mom over so that I
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could teach her how to do the daughter's hair, because she's a mixed child
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and the mom didn't really necessarily know how to take care of the hair,
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and so I walked her through the process and everything. And then afterwards,
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my daughter came to me and she was like, Mom, you are truly
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an amazing woman, because not many women would invite their ex husband and his
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new wife into their house and do something like that. And I said,
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well, honestly, sweetheart, it wasn't me. I prayed about it.
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God guided me through that. I said, so, I'm just doing what
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he told me to do. I said so. And what I'm not about
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the yeah right, which allows you to do what you need to do,
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so, you know, yeah, and being able to do that sometimes,
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Oh my god. I see parents that argue back and forth and and they
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are you know, well, I don't want her around my kids. I
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don't want him around my kids. He can't say nothing to my And it's
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like, okay, but you complain it. Number one, you don't get
15:11
a break. Number two, that nobody's ever available for you when something important
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happens. You don't feel like you need to respect the other parent, this,
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that, and the third. And it's like, okay, hold up,
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you are an adult. Are you gonna be twelve years old? Are
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you gonna be the age or whatever it is that you are now? If
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you want to act like a twelve year old, then I'm gonna put you
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on your playpen and give you your sippy cup and you're gonna have a good
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day, because that's you being very childish, you know. And if you're
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gonna be a childish, there's no need for me to treat you like an
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adult. You can't act me to treat you like an adult when you're acting
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like a child. That's what I don't understand. Now, Listen, you
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can't let me monopolize conversation listening to it. You know we all have all
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the time. And I be like, okay, whence and Okay, I'm
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gonna let her keep talking. So I could get it and these other people
16:15
could get it too, especially when you actually go through it, and going
16:21
through it, it's like, okay, let me listen and see, I've
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been through that. And I never thought I would be in a in a
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position to have to go through that because my kids are grown, but there's
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still a little child that's still involved. And he still loves to be in
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my house. He loves my cook and he loves me and do his hair.
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Because I showed you a picture of him today. He has a lot
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of hair on his head, so he either want to twist it or he
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wants it braidy. And yeah, here you come with this too, and
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I'm like, dude, get somebody yes to do it. And it's mama
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t no. Actually get along when along? It's good. Oh yeah,
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they definitely get along. Look, they get along so much. I could
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have called that I birthed him because he acts just like his siblings to the
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tea and I'm like, lord, yeah, there's always Mama t what Mama
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Tea cooking. I'm coming to Mama tea house. Mama Tea don't want her
17:30
own kids. He'll have to time. But you know that's interesting the kids
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to be over and that's all the time. Well, they definitely get the
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love in here. And I'm grateful that God provides the space for me to
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be able to do that because my kids, like when they were younger,
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and all kids, the neighborhood kid would used to flock to my house all
18:00
the time, and my kids would get so irritated and they were like,
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my, why do the kids love to be at our house? And I
18:07
had to explain to them that every kid doesn't grow up in an environment where
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you guys do. Even though it's a single parent household, most kids don't
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know what it's like to be a kid and to be able to talk to
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somebody where they're not being judged or being told that they're being disrespectful for just
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voicing their opinion or how they're feeling on something. I said, So,
18:27
if this place is very open and they get to be themselves, they get
18:32
to be free. Then this is the space for them to do that.
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And so you guys have to understand that you're gonna have to share Mommy with
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your friends if you want me to meet them, because when they meet me,
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they do want to be over here, and especially at dinner time because
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they know I'm gonna cook. So that's how they ended up with a lot
18:51
of friends. Like it was one day I spring fleeing was in town.
18:56
Kids were small and they wanted a funnel cake. But I was not going
19:02
to the spring flame to go up there and pay them people five or six
19:06
dollars for a funnel cake. I went in my kitchen, I mixed up
19:10
the better and I made, you know, my kids three funnel cakes.
19:12
But guess what my kids did. They went outside with the funnel cakes.
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So next thing I know, I got a line of kids coming the house
19:22
to get funnel cakes, and I'm like, what is going on? They
19:26
tell my mom we went outside and we told them when we got the funnel
19:29
cake. I said, what makes y'all think I got enough flowing eggs to
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make thirty two funnel cakes? But neither Yeah, everybody got a fune cake
19:41
and I was like, see, that's that's what happens. But you know,
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kids don't always have that environment where they have adults, where they can
19:49
actually be children and being in a blended family. I look at it like,
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you get a bonus mom, you get a bonus dad. You know,
20:00
you know, you get an opportunity for somebody else to love you just
20:03
as much as your parents did. And I feel like if we as an
20:07
adult can actually extend that and let go of our own emotions and our own
20:12
egos and our own pride and stop feeling so hurt behind that kind of stuff,
20:18
it would be beneficial for the kids. And you'll watch how well they
20:22
flourish, how well they respect each and every person that they encounter. But
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it starts with the adults. But I don't think everybody understands that adulthood means
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letting go of that pride and an ego sometimes when it comes to that situation,
20:37
correct actually be an adult about the situation. It did not work,
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So that's work in the best interest of the child now because we didn't work.
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Yes, that you got to be able to do that. And if
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you're not able to do that, admit it. To yourself, Well,
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ask yourself the questions, why can't I do that? What is the problem
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with me? Because sometimes we don't want to take accountability for what it is
21:04
that we feel in that situation or what part we play. Because I could
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have easily said, you know what, I'm dealing with none of y'all.
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But if I'd have done that, my kids would have missed out on an
21:17
opportunity to have their brother in their home, you know, and growing up
21:22
with him and things of that nature. Because I could have easily said I
21:25
don't want a kid in my house. You know that ain't got nothing to
21:27
do with me. Y'all can meet him at the park or whatever. I
21:30
could have easily been that person, you know, and said I don't want
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nothing to do with that. Them, your kids, you you handle that,
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you know, a lot of times I feel like women are the hardest
21:42
ones to be accepting of another woman, you know. I feel like they
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they struggle with that. It depends. It all depends on the way that
21:56
the situation unfolded. Because and right, if you're in a relationship with someone
22:02
and he has another child, and you're in a relationship and he had another
22:07
child, why you were in a relationship. It's hard for a woman to
22:10
just take that other child. So it's going to be some bitterness there as
22:15
well as you, as well as the other the other mother that knew that.
22:19
Yeah, read or whatever. That's a lot that holds a lot of
22:22
resentment. Yeah, that definitely does hot. You want to tell a woman
22:29
that be growing up about the situation, but sometimes you it's hard. Hard.
22:36
It's the man that puts the women in those situations awesome, and men
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oftentimes don't want to take accountability for creating that situation and creating that hostility towards
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the and men men oftentimes, I swear they do this and then they want
22:52
to hide their hands. They throw the rocks and wherever they fall and whoever
22:56
gets hit, they have no accountability for that. And I feel like that's
23:00
the wrong thing to do as well. If you did it, you created
23:03
this situation, You brought this other person in, give them enough information to
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where there or not. If they want to stick around, they can,
23:14
but don't lie to them and present one story one way and then you go
23:19
to the other woman and you present it another way, because that creates the
23:22
animosity and you have no idea why this woman even hates you. Correct,
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you know, you have no idea, and when you're able to sit down
23:33
and have a conversation with each other, then it's like, oh, well
23:36
he told me this about you. He said this, and you know,
23:40
and it's like some women messy too, because you knew before you put yourself
23:48
in that situation. You knew. So some men are messy and they keep
23:52
the situation going and some women just won't care. So right now you look
24:00
at to take your child in and embrace that child. But it's just like,
24:06
yeah, but he hurt me, don't you feel hurt? Yeah,
24:10
So it's a lot. It's a lot going on with blended families. It
24:12
really is. Definitely they just got god them going anywhere and they don't even
24:18
care. Some of them don't even know. Yeah, that is definitely true
24:26
because you have or your cousin. But you know, you know, I
24:33
guess at least this takes me into a whole nother. This blended covers family
24:37
conversation can cover many many different topics because you know, you also have the
24:45
so to speak, the side chicks that know that this man was married,
24:48
then they set themselves up to get pregnant and then they want to act like
24:56
they have well I ain't even gonna say they act like it though that the
25:00
guy presents it to them. Is the access that they give to them makes
25:06
it to where they feel comfortable to talk to the wife any kind of way.
25:11
Then you have the side checks now who want to get in the main
25:19
position? Now understanding that the same woman may want to be running for the
25:27
hills, and she'll be glad to give you to give to you because she's
25:33
tired of dealing with the foolishness that he's put her in, you know.
25:37
So it's like, baby, if you want it, you're going to have
25:40
him, because I don't want to have to deal with this headache and his
25:42
hats on. You think that the grass is greener over here, but you
25:45
don't know how much manure is fertilizing the stuff to keep it as green as
25:51
you think that it is, because when it stops being fertilized with all this
25:55
mess, you'll realize that it's just some dirt, you know. But you
26:00
know, yeah, I don't know. Hold on, let me see,
26:07
my best friends says, she texts me her comments because they ain't showing up.
26:11
Let me see. Hold on, let me read. Let me read
26:18
Hannah. It says God created me different. Okay, children clean to you
26:26
mine included, which yeah they do. And He definitely created me different,
26:30
and all kids definitely. I think Number no, I'm gonna say this about
26:36
myself. I think most of the kids clean to me because number One,
26:40
when they first meet me, we the same height, so they think I'm
26:42
just one of their little friends for real. But then as they grow up,
26:48
you know, I'm still the same size, but they're still able to
26:52
come and talk to me about whatever, and they feel comfortable with talking to
26:56
me about stuff that they wouldn't talk to their moms and dads about with I'm
27:00
grateful for that space and that opportunity for kids to feel that comfortable with me.
27:04
But I think that when they first meet me, they think I'm just
27:07
you know the sighs. Yeah, so they're like, my mama got a
27:14
friend that's small. So I don't even know if this lady grown or not.
27:21
I think that's what it be falling down, she said. They don't
27:23
think I'm grown, just be like ooh she she my size. We can
27:30
play together, you know, we can wear to say, And so I
27:36
think that's what it is I don't know, but you know, I feel
27:40
like if you're going to especially if you're over the age of thirty five and
27:48
you are back in the dating world or whatever, and you have children from
27:53
a previous relationship, you have to be upfront and honest. And this is
27:57
on both parties, male and female. You have to be up front with
28:02
the expectation and and that's a problem. I feel like, as we were
28:10
talking about at work today on communication, uncommunicated expectations lead to a lot of
28:17
confusion because we're not openly discussing what we expect. And when you don't expect,
28:23
you put people in a position to where they'll never meet the standard which
28:30
you've set because you've never told them what it was. You know, So
28:37
I can't meet it if I never knew what it was, and then you
28:41
want me to assume. But then if I make an assumption, then I'm
28:45
just jumping to conclusions. So it's like, where is the space for me
28:48
to actually know what it is and what you expect for me if you never
28:52
communicated that with me. So I feel like we don't talk about out that
29:00
because we don't want to have to deal with the headache and the hassle of
29:04
actually being open and honest. And if you be open and honest, you
29:07
give the people, You give the person the right to choose if they want
29:11
to participate in this type of situation. But it's always that mentality take me
29:17
as I am and everything that comes with me. Well, what if I
29:21
don't want to take? You told me, right, Like, what if
29:26
I don't want to take? Yeah? What if I don't want to take
29:30
it? Though? You know, you ain't told me that you've got thirty
29:33
two children and seventeen baby mamas. You ain't told me that. You told
29:37
me that you have to and I come to find out there's thirty thirty three
29:42
other ones down there, you know, right, And I'm supposed to be
29:48
okay with that, And I'm looking at you with the side I seriously because
29:52
it's like, oh, okay, you just expect me to just be like,
29:56
okay, I'm I got a whole I got two basketball teams. Now
30:00
that you want me to just go out here and introduce myself to honey,
30:04
Uh No, you supposed to told me about this. I'm out. You
30:08
know, I ain't even gonna participate in this because you didn't. You wasn't
30:11
upfront with me, you know. So since you weren't upfront with me,
30:15
I'm gonna go ahead and buy out gracefully. I don't want to and I
30:18
don't want the hassle. I don't want no parts of that. But now
30:22
you got an attitude with me because you like you to hear me like you
30:26
got the attitude. You won't got no right, no attitude with me.
30:32
You weren't not honest with me. You told me half truth. So now
30:36
I got to figure out the whole truth, put this puzzle together. Now
30:41
I got a whole attitude. Now I want to talk to you. I
30:44
don't want no parse, but yeah, like now I'm just gonna chuck up
30:48
the deuces and see you late because it's just not gonna work. But you
30:53
got these kids that meet their fathers or their you know, mothers and if
31:00
other and they think that it's that person is going to be a role,
31:03
play a role in the life, and then too much down the line,
31:07
here's another one. So a lot of kids that get hurt behind situations like
31:12
that too. Don't bring all those people around your kids if you're not ready,
31:18
and please, oh my God, for the love of me, I
31:22
ain't even gonna say, for the love of God, because God ain't got
31:25
no under dow with that foolishness. And that is basically, don't be introducing
31:30
these kids, especially this is for the women. Don't introduce those kids as
31:33
this is Uncle such and such knowing dog go well, Uncle such and such
31:37
is in the bedroom with you at night. Don't do that. Don't do
31:41
that. That's wrong for the kids. Like when my ex husband and I
31:45
split up, like I did not have male company in my house after eight
31:51
o'clock. If you wasn't seeing me when the sun was up, you don't
31:53
call my phone asking to come over after eight o'clock because sir, I don't
31:56
care. If you have Jesus himself with you, you're not getting in my
32:00
dough, you know. And I had that rule up until my kids,
32:05
Like Kyla was in college about well, honestly, she was about to graduate
32:09
before I even had mail company in my house after eight o'clock. It was
32:15
just it was a rule. And I didn't date a lot of people either,
32:19
and I had Honestly, I'll just be honest with you, I ain't
32:23
like a lot of people either, So it was hard because you know,
32:29
I've been alone for a minute and you say some stupid stuff to me,
32:32
and I you know what, this ain't even gonna work. I ain't evenna
32:36
waste your time and waste my You don't sneeze the wrong way, sir.
32:38
I can't. I can't. I mean, I'm just out here. FNNA
32:43
deal with that. You cheer your food too loud? You know, I
32:46
certain, No, I'm just uh you cheer your food too loud? I
32:51
okay, Like I mean, it was just that bad for me. So
32:54
it's like, you want to come to my house. You won't do what
32:58
uh huh, you ain't here at eight o'clock before the sun go. Now,
33:01
sir, you can't come. You can't come. I'm not gonna do
33:05
that. And so women, please stop introducing your children to Uncle Tommy.
33:12
And then next week it's Uncle Jerry, and then three three months down the
33:16
line, you got Davonte coming over, like what we doing, and then
33:22
these kids they see that. And also it doesn't teach your young boys respect
33:29
for women, you know, because if you're not showing yourself that kind of
33:32
respect, what do you expect your boys to do? Because they gonna see
33:37
what kids mimic and imitate what they see and when they're seeing that, it's
33:43
like, Okay, my mama did this. My mama had multiple men.
33:47
And also for your women, like I have one lady that I work with.
33:52
Her thing was she invited her male company over when she thought her children
33:55
were going to bed, and it was like, you realize their sounds that
34:00
are being made. So if your daughter gets up in the middle of the
34:04
night and this man is in her house that she knew was not in there
34:07
when she went to bed, how do you explain that? And she was
34:13
like, well, what you mean, I'm grown? I said, yeah,
34:15
you are grown, but you are lacking the respect of a woman number
34:22
one. To have any man in your household after nine o'clock is the only
34:27
things that's opening your legs and waffle house and baby that ain't what they're supposed
34:30
to be, you know. But I said, but that's your house.
34:37
I said, that's your house, your rules, your legs. You do
34:40
what you want to with them, but don't be mad when your daughter starts
34:45
mimicking the same behavior that you do, because they tend to do that,
34:51
you know. And so of course I was the mean person at work because
34:54
I said it, and I was like, well, I'm not here to
34:58
be your friend, honest, and if you don't want me to be your
35:01
friend, that's fine too. You don't have to talk to me, but
35:04
don't tell me your business and expect me not to have an opinion on it.
35:07
Because you told me this. I didn't ask you. You know,
35:12
this was your your information that you gave to me. So since you gave
35:17
me that information, I feel that I'm free to comment. Now. You
35:21
don't have to like my comment, but you don't have to talk to me
35:23
and ask me either, right, But since you did, this is what
35:28
I am. But got your amen corner over here that's gonna agree with you.
35:30
But baby, I'm not that amen corner. I'm not about to agree
35:34
with you. If you stupid, you stupid And that was my opinion on
35:37
that you were stupid because you allowed this man to come in your house after
35:40
this hour. Ain't nothing open after nine ten o'clock but legs and waffle house.
35:45
So baby okay? Almost says I had a partners like paynies, Oh
35:53
lord, whoa, because you know that's a lot. I can't who and
36:06
change them every day, and sometimes if you're going out, you might change
36:08
them twice. Some people don't. But see some people don't even wham.
36:17
Now, so we got it. Ooh, I don't know that. Yeah,
36:24
oh, lord, have mercy. I don't even know where to go
36:30
with that one. After that, that's a lot. But you know there
36:32
are women that are like that, and it's like, but you can't excuse
36:37
the dudes either, because they sleeping with each other and so you know,
36:43
they play a part, the male and the female they call mingling, and
36:47
they creating these children. And then the children are the ones that suffer because
36:51
the parents don't know how to act. You know, they don't know how
36:53
to get themselves together. They don't know how to get themselves under control.
36:57
They still want to act like they seventeen and can go out here. But
37:00
when them bones and stuff start going, and then you know, you go
37:05
to the clinic and you having a couple of shoes where you know, you're
37:09
trading. So some things shot in the family. Now, like I can
37:19
have a baby with you and your cousin the yah, yeah, and see
37:27
I don't understand that baby. If I don't, I don't want nobody in
37:30
the family. I said, I'm done with you. That's just me.
37:32
I don't want your cousin. I don't want your uncle. I don't want
37:36
your long distance because I don't even want your play cousin. I don't want
37:38
none of y'all. Leave me alone. I gont buch your business by you
37:44
part of the family. I'm gonna need you to stay over there. Okay,
37:46
uh uh no, mm hmmm. That's just me. But you know
37:52
I digress, You know me, I digress. That's that's your business.
37:54
I'm gonna let you don't do what you want to. If your shoe flip,
37:58
that gone baby, wear that one, walk on in it. But
38:00
I don't want it. You're just gonna keep on doing what they're doing,
38:06
you know, you know. But blended families, Blended families is a tough
38:17
thing when the parties are not mature enough to handle the situation that they've placed
38:22
themselves in, and if you're not willing to have those hard conversations from the
38:29
beginning, it makes it difficult to make it to where the kids are not
38:34
affected in a negative way. And you never want the kids to suffer at
38:37
the end of the day for dealing with adults who don't know how to actually
38:43
adult. You got kids that are running around here that are seeking guidance and
38:47
understanding from the older people because sometimes the parents, I can't even say the
38:54
parents, it's the the the creators, I'll say it that way that created
39:02
these children, who don't seem to understand the level of responsibility that comes with
39:12
creating a child, creating healthy spaces to where the child can actually do what
39:19
is necessary and be nurtured and blossom them into respectable members of society. But
39:28
they want to be friends with their kids. And this is one thing that
39:30
I told my kids when they were younger. It ain't my job to be
39:34
your friend until you get of age, and then we can talk like friends.
39:37
But at number one rule is I will always be your mama, and
39:42
if you overstep, Mama is always gonna show up. We can be friends
39:45
as you get older, and as my children have gotten older, we've developed
39:50
a friendship. But we didn't always have that. And that they were quick
39:53
to tell and they tell their friends. They still tell their friends, my
39:57
mama crazy. She might be small, but she crazy. So don't go
40:00
in there talking funny because she she liable to hit you. And they ain't
40:05
lying. I mean, I will not tell any parents you want me to
40:08
watch your kid I'm gonna treat your kid just like I treat mine. So
40:13
if they being disrespectful, no that they're gonna be in the mouth. I
40:15
mean, it's just what it is. I might have to stand on step
40:17
still to do it, but it's what's gonna happen. I just I don't
40:22
deal with that kind of stuff. I had two little boys. They love
40:25
to be at my house. I had met the boys before I met the
40:29
parents, and the boys were at my house all the time. So I
40:31
finally met the dad and he was like, I wanted to come over and
40:36
introduce myself. I know my boy's been at your house a lot. I
40:37
said, yeah, they have. He said, if that's bothering you,
40:42
I can make them stay at home. I said, well, let me
40:43
ask you a question. I said, if they come home with a n
40:46
upside their head or a busted lip because they've been disrespectful in my house,
40:50
is that gonna bother you? He said no, I said that we don't
40:52
have no problem. I said, so we could. And I said,
40:57
because I don't deal well with smart mouth children or dis respectful children. I
41:00
said, so, if they come home with an upside of head or a
41:02
busted lip, know that they were being disrespectful in my house and I'm not
41:07
feinna tolerated. I said, but if you good with that day, good
41:09
come anytime they want to. Never had any problems out of them. But
41:14
those are the rules. If you want me babiesit your kid. I understand
41:16
that these are the rules. These are house rules. I ain't making them
41:20
now, I didn't make them, but because they're not. But anyway,
41:25
for being here with me tonight. This is number one episode season two.
41:32
No, I am very very grateful to be able to be in season two,
41:38
something that I did not think I would last through season one because I'm
41:44
shy. I'm very shy, no matter. Yes, I am as shy
41:52
as a car. But this gets me out of my comfort zone. But
41:57
I enjoy talking to people and getting to know them in a personal way,
42:01
but also knowing that God is first and everything that we do and without him
42:08
nothing is possible. We can't do anything without him and giving him the honor,
42:14
the glory and the space to be able to allow us to share our
42:19
experiences tonight. So of course I would definitely love to have you back.
42:23
We're definitely gonna have to talk more relationships. So I don't know when that
42:31
will be, but we'll definitely have you back on the show again. I
42:37
think everybody for tuning in tonight. You know it was a holiday super Bowl
42:42
Sunday, So those of you who too and gave me forty minutes of your
42:45
time, I thank you. I appreciate you. But as I always say,
42:51
stay out of God's business. The only thing that he needs you to
42:54
do is be obedient to what he's called you to do until February the twenty
43:00
second. I'll see you then, y'all have a good night. Yes,
43:06
yes, ma'am. It was the sweet sweete sweete. Oh no,