Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3966 The New Phil Hendrie Show
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: The following is a world-famous Phil Henry Show encore presentation.
- 0:08Speaker 2: Wow. Welcome to Phil.
- 0:09Speaker 1: Henry Show, philhenryshow.com. I'm Phil Henry. We've got Bobby and
- 0:14Speaker 1: Steve Dooley in studio today. We're also going to be
- 0:16Speaker 1: talking to Ted Bell today because there's a promotion coming up, right, Margaret? Yes,
- 0:20Speaker 1: Ted is doing Ted's of Beverly Hell.
- 0:23Speaker 3: And while I think that is extremely inventive, that's all
- 0:27Speaker 3: I want to, Well, Margaret, no, that's as far as
- 0:30Speaker 3: I'm going with that because he's changing his slogan again.
- 0:32Speaker 4: Well, Mr. Bell, as you know, Mr. Henry, has dabbled,
- 0:37Speaker 4: you know, has dabbled with it, you know.
- 0:40Speaker 1: Dabbled with what?
- 0:41Speaker 4: I'll do it, Dick.
- 0:42Speaker 1: You know, he's always changing the slogan from we want
- 0:44Speaker 1: to put our meat in your mouth to we insist
- 0:47Speaker 1: on putting our meat, and so on and so forth. Yeah,
- 0:49Speaker 1: I thought we did that discussion last summer.
- 0:51Speaker 3: Well, he's come up with a new one for this
- 0:54Speaker 3: Ted's of Beverly Hell Halloween promotion.
- 0:57Speaker 1: And what is that? I'm not going to use it.
- 0:59Speaker 1: All right, okay. It's called Your Mouth, Our Meat. Yeah.
- 1:03Speaker 1: Something like that, bud. Yeah, no.
- 1:05Speaker 4: It's Teds of Beverly Hills.
- 1:07Speaker 1: Your Mouth, Our Meat.
- 1:09Speaker 4: Thank you.
- 1:13Speaker 1: When you laugh like that, Phil.
- 1:15Speaker 4: Come on, Margaret.
- 1:15Speaker 1: No, no. When you laugh like that. Margaret, you went, no.
- 1:19Speaker 1: I don't care what I. I just did it again.
- 1:20Speaker 1: You want to make something out of it? No. All right,
- 1:23Speaker 1: then sit down. You. No.
- 1:25Speaker 4: You.
- 1:26Speaker 1: I haven't said a thing. When you laugh like that, Margaret,
- 1:30Speaker 1: don't slam stuff down on the table. I'm upset. When
- 1:33Speaker 1: you laugh like that, you encourage that slob. He's a sponsor.
- 1:38Speaker 1: He's a longtime. He may be a longtime sponsor, Phil.
- 1:42Speaker 1: The question arises.
- 1:43Speaker 3: And I think it arises with a lot of your
- 1:45Speaker 3: listeners as well. What will Phil Henry not do for money?
- 1:50Speaker 1: Oh, give me a break. No, I mean it. What
- 1:53Speaker 1: will you not?
- 1:53Speaker 3: Here's a man who comes on as your sponsor, Ted Bell,
- 1:56Speaker 3: and I like Ted personally.
- 1:57Speaker 1: Your husband is a frequent diner at Ted's at Beverly Hills.
- 2:01Speaker 1: Not just my husband. I eat there as well. What? Food, asshole. Hey, man,
- 2:07Speaker 1: don't start something, bud, that you can't finish. Sorry. When
- 2:11Speaker 1: you said you eat there as well, the boy wanted
- 2:13Speaker 1: to know what you were talking about. As if he
- 2:15Speaker 1: didn't know. Now, Phil, I'm telling you right now. Margaret,
- 2:19Speaker 1: I understand and register your You're complaining, and I, hold on,
- 2:22Speaker 1: I understand and register your objections, but we're not changing anything.
- 2:26Speaker 1: If Ted has a promotion he wants to do and
- 2:28Speaker 1: come on here to talk about it, Ted's a Beverly Hell,
- 2:30Speaker 1: and what is it again?
- 2:31Speaker 4: It's, I think I'm getting it right.
- 2:33Speaker 1: I've got it right here. Your mouth, our meat, your move.
- 2:37Speaker 1: They took that from me. So now it's changed again. No,
- 2:40Speaker 1: it has not. Yes, it has. It was, first it
- 2:42Speaker 1: was your meat, our mouth, yeah.
- 2:44Speaker 4: Yeah, no, it was your meat, it was your meat.
- 2:47Speaker 1: Speaking of voice cracking, your meat.
- 2:49Speaker 4: You said.
- 2:51Speaker 5: I think Ted said, and correct me if I'm wrong, General,
- 2:55Speaker 5: your mouth, our meat, what are you going to do now?
- 2:59Speaker 1: No, it wasn't. What is the name? If I don't
- 3:01Speaker 1: get the slogan. No, Phil, I'm telling you. They liked
- 3:04Speaker 1: what General Shaw said, so it's your mouth, our meat,
- 3:08Speaker 1: your move. That's right. Your mouth, our meat, your move.
- 3:13Speaker 1: This is what I object to.
- 3:14Speaker 4: Well, I'm sorry, Margaret.
- 3:15Speaker 1: I like to laugh, and when things are funny, they
- 3:17Speaker 1: strike me as funny. All right, in the meantime, we've
- 3:20Speaker 1: had very patiently waiting here. Hi, Chris. Hello. Chris Norton
- 3:24Speaker 1: waiting for us in the wings. And Chris, come on,
- 3:26Speaker 1: sit down, Chris.
- 3:27Speaker 4: Thank you.
- 3:28Speaker 1: How you doing, Chris? I'm doing really good. Thank you
- 3:30Speaker 1: very much. So, Chris, along with your forays into adult films,
- 3:36Speaker 1: which we've had some fun with, I know that you
- 3:39Speaker 1: take it very seriously. I mean, you people have... You people.
- 3:44Speaker 1: I mean, you have.
- 3:45Speaker 2: You've sort of just ripped into me and... Talk to
- 3:48Speaker 2: me about like I'm some kind of pervert or something. Well,
- 3:50Speaker 2: I mean, you're doing all these dirty movies. I don't
- 3:52Speaker 2: consider them dirty movies. I consider them adult films.
- 3:56Speaker 1: Yeah, they're hot.
- 3:58Speaker 2: I try to make the adult films as hot as
- 3:59Speaker 2: I can because, look, when people buy adult films, you know,
- 4:04Speaker 2: they want to get hot. And I'm not going to
- 4:07Speaker 2: make an adult film that ain't hot.
- 4:08Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not going to make an adult film that
- 4:10Speaker 1: isn't hot. We got that, Chris. And so you try
- 4:13Speaker 1: to make them as graphic as you can.
- 4:15Speaker 2: I mean, you can call it graphic, but what I'm
- 4:17Speaker 2: going for when I make adult film is it's got
- 4:22Speaker 2: to be high, you know, and it's got to show it.
- 4:26Speaker 1: And by show it, you mean what? You're talking about
- 4:27Speaker 1: the sex act. Well, yeah.
- 4:29Speaker 2: You know, you've got to show it and show it from...
- 4:32Speaker 2: And I also am one of the only... To this day,
- 4:35Speaker 2: I'm the only adult filmmaker who introduced drones, who used
- 4:38Speaker 2: a drone, you know, to.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Are you.
- 4:42Speaker 4: Kidding me, man? I've heard about that.
- 4:43Speaker 1: No, you haven't, man, because nobody else has done it.
- 4:45Speaker 1: You're the first adult filmmaker to use a drone.
- 4:49Speaker 2: That's right.
- 4:50Speaker 1: I use the drone.
- 4:51Speaker 4: Well, how?
- 4:52Speaker 1: I just had it hover. I think I mentioned this
- 4:54Speaker 1: once before. Well, you did mention the fact that you
- 4:57Speaker 1: use the drone hovering over someone's rear end.
- 5:00Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, what you do, if you use the
- 5:02Speaker 2: drone in adult films, you fly it as the two
- 5:06Speaker 2: people are going at it. Then you swoop it in,
- 5:09Speaker 2: and you have it hover over a butt. Does it
- 5:12Speaker 2: matter who's?
- 5:15Speaker 1: I mean, no, not really. I mean, yeah, it does
- 5:17Speaker 1: sort of make, you gotta be able to see it.
- 5:18Speaker 2: Cause if, if, if they're, if the, if, if, if, if,
- 5:21Speaker 2: if slow down, if someone's on the bottom, whether it's
- 5:24Speaker 2: the man or woman, then you can't see their butt.
- 5:27Speaker 1: So who has, or who's ever, but is, is up top.
- 5:31Speaker 1: That's the butt that you'll hover the drone over. What
- 5:34Speaker 1: is he laughing at, man? Well, general, what do you
- 5:36Speaker 1: find funny? Are you kidding me or something? Yeah. That's
- 5:38Speaker 1: the butt that yes, that's the butt that you use.
- 5:42Speaker 1: So the drone hovers over that butt. Yeah.
- 5:45Speaker 2: The drone will hover over the butt area.
- 5:48Speaker 1: And then we do a lot of other things.
- 5:50Speaker 2: Like we'll swoop it down for extreme close-ups. And then
- 5:54Speaker 2: we swoop it back. And then, like, say a cess
- 5:57Speaker 2: act is going on. Then I'll say, I'll give the
- 6:03Speaker 2: code word to the drone operator. I'll say swoop in.
- 6:07Speaker 2: Or I'll say swoop number one. And they'll go, yay.
- 6:10Speaker 2: And then it'll go right in. into a closeup, you know,
- 6:13Speaker 2: we get it like within an inch of what's happening,
- 6:16Speaker 2: you know, within an inch. Yeah, I do. I, I
- 6:19Speaker 2: insist on it. I insist that we get very close,
- 6:23Speaker 2: you know, we sweat and I'll.
- 6:24Speaker 1: Say, okay, swoop.
- 6:25Speaker 2: I'll say swoop out.
- 6:28Speaker 1: What is with this swoop? That's the code word, man.
- 6:31Speaker 1: What you mean is fly, right?
- 6:33Speaker 2: Yeah. But it's more than fly.
- 6:34Speaker 1: Cause you're, you're wee, you know, you're sort of gliding
- 6:37Speaker 1: it in. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- 6:39Speaker 4: Okay, so if I said, if I'm the director, if
- 6:42Speaker 4: I'm you, which I would never be, I know, but.
- 6:44Speaker 1: If, let's just say, okay, let's just say magically you
- 6:47Speaker 1: became me.
- 6:48Speaker 4: Say magically, I'd say swoop number one.
- 6:51Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it would just glide in, hover, and
- 6:53Speaker 2: then dip down for a close-up, then dip back up
- 6:56Speaker 2: for a hovering shot of the butt, and then swoop
- 7:00Speaker 2: out of the room. Almost as if you had come
- 7:03Speaker 2: in to get a glass of water, and you go, wow,
- 7:06Speaker 2: I didn't know you were here.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Meaning me, I'm the one who's the drone? Well, you're
- 7:11Speaker 1: the camera's view of it. Okay, I guess, so at
- 7:14Speaker 1: what part, when I come in for a glass of water,
- 7:16Speaker 1: do I dip down within an inch? You know, I
- 7:20Speaker 1: got better things to do. No, no, come on, Chris,
- 7:21Speaker 1: we're screwing around. Come on, Chris, sit down, sit down. Chris,
- 7:27Speaker 1: you are here not to talk about adult films. You're
- 7:29Speaker 1: not here to talk about drones. You're here to talk
- 7:32Speaker 1: with us about a relaxation tape, and it's called what?
- 7:35Speaker 1: This is a new one.
- 7:36Speaker 2: It's called Relax with Chris.
- 7:41Speaker 1: And what? Nothing. We're listening. We're listening. Okay.
- 7:44Speaker 2: So what I do is I've recorded some, because I
- 7:48Speaker 2: wanted to branch out a little bit from just doing
- 7:52Speaker 2: adult films and get into the relaxation tape business, because
- 7:55Speaker 2: a lot of people are doing it. I don't know
- 7:56Speaker 2: if you're familiar with it, Mr.
- 7:58Speaker 1: Henry.
- 7:58Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 7:58Speaker 1: There's a lot of... A lot of people are attempting that.
- 8:01Speaker 1: They're not all successful.
- 8:03Speaker 2: I think one of the areas where relaxation tapes, surprisingly,
- 8:07Speaker 2: are not successful is a lot of women who do
- 8:11Speaker 2: relaxation tapes, other women don't want to listen to them.
- 8:16Speaker 2: They think they sound just, I don't know, maybe they
- 8:20Speaker 2: just don't like listening to other women. It sounds almost
- 8:22Speaker 2: naggy or something.
- 8:24Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of women don't like to listen to
- 8:25Speaker 4: other women because it sounds harsh.
- 8:27Speaker 1: Well, I can understand that.
- 8:29Speaker 3: I would much rather hear the soothing, calming voice of
- 8:32Speaker 3: a man, although I'm not saying women can't do it.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Well, what do you think the hang-up is? I don't know.
- 8:38Speaker 1: I think the women are just prejudiced against each other
- 8:40Speaker 1: when they hear them.
- 8:41Speaker 3: I don't think that's it at all. I think what
- 8:43Speaker 3: you need is a deeper resonance, and I think a
- 8:47Speaker 3: lot of women are sing-songy.
- 8:50Speaker 1: Well, they just need more professional people doing it. Well, yeah,
- 8:52Speaker 1: but I mean, in the meantime, you know, forgive me, Mr.
- 8:55Speaker 2: Henry, but I'd rather you not you know, squat over
- 8:58Speaker 2: my good, I would rather you not squat over my
- 9:01Speaker 2: project and just go, ah, all over it, you know.
- 9:05Speaker 1: I don't think I was doing that. What are you
- 9:09Speaker 1: laughing at? What are you laughing at? I'm not doing
- 9:12Speaker 1: that at all, Chris. I'm not trying to wreck your project.
- 9:14Speaker 1: I'm just saying, well, all right, tell us, tell us. Well,
- 9:18Speaker 1: I brought in some music and, but if you, yeah,
- 9:20Speaker 1: I got it right here. I brought in some music.
- 9:22Speaker 1: This is the realization music that I plan on using on,
- 9:26Speaker 1: relax with Chris. Um, I'm, I'm thinking of using a
- 9:30Speaker 1: couple of different, uh, relax the Chris way or relax
- 9:33Speaker 1: with Chris Norton, you know, and I'd like to do
- 9:36Speaker 1: the voiceover on that too, say relax with the career
- 9:39Speaker 1: with Chris Norton. So it has to be that kind
- 9:42Speaker 1: of a, uh, yeah, it's that, that sort of way
- 9:44Speaker 1: of saying that, you know, but, um, all right. So,
- 9:46Speaker 1: so this is, somebody is going to listen to this
- 9:49Speaker 1: tape and relax to try to sleep. That's correct. Yeah. Okay. Um,
- 9:56Speaker 1: I used to listen to these kinds of tapes in
- 9:58Speaker 1: the 80s. I listened to relaxation tapes. Well, now, you
- 10:02Speaker 1: had a hard time sleeping, you said. I did, I
- 10:04Speaker 1: had a really hard time sleeping. And the voices that I,
- 10:07Speaker 1: generally they were of other men.
- 10:10Speaker 4: What's that about?
- 10:11Speaker 1: It ain't about anything, Bud. Bud, what is wrong with you?
- 10:14Speaker 4: Well, God, don't you want to listen to a chick?
- 10:17Speaker 1: Dude, I want to hear anybody that is rapping a
- 10:20Speaker 1: very calm way for me to relax and sleep. And
- 10:25Speaker 1: a lot of the ones that I found were successful,
- 10:27Speaker 1: but now I understand a lot more women are getting
- 10:31Speaker 1: into it, but you are, and a lot of more
- 10:32Speaker 1: amateurish people, I suppose. A lot of people have never
- 10:34Speaker 1: been in voiceover work before. That's correct.
- 10:37Speaker 2: And since I've been successful as adult filmmaker, I decided
- 10:41Speaker 2: to get a realization tape.
- 10:43Speaker 1: Okay. Okay.
- 10:45Speaker 2: So this is called Relax with me, Chris Norton. The
- 10:50Speaker 2: Sestastic Way of Relaxation.
- 10:53Speaker 1: What is it? The Sextastic? Yeah, Sextastic.
- 10:56Speaker 2: The Sextastic Way of Relaxation with me, Chris Norton. I'm Chris.
- 11:04Speaker 2: I want to invite you to take a walk with
- 11:08Speaker 2: me down a beach. I'm wearing a light almost like
- 11:14Speaker 2: a pale blue speedo, and I have with me a
- 11:18Speaker 2: setback of tab, or perhaps Diet Coke. It's you and me,
- 11:25Speaker 2: hand in hand, as we walk down the beach. It's
- 11:30Speaker 2: a beautiful day. You see the ocean, the white calves,
- 11:35Speaker 2: and a very gentle breeze is blowing through your hair.
- 11:41Speaker 2: You can feel the relaxing, the sounds of the wind,
- 11:45Speaker 2: and feel the relaxing rays of the sun as the
- 11:48Speaker 2: sun comes down on top of you and you feel
- 11:52Speaker 2: it warm you up. Can I stop right here?
- 11:56Speaker 1: Go ahead.
- 11:57Speaker 2: What I want to do is I want to add
- 11:59Speaker 2: sessual tones to it so I don't want to freak
- 12:02Speaker 2: you out or anything.
- 12:03Speaker 1: So you're going to put sex in this? No, just
- 12:06Speaker 1: sessual tones, that's all.
- 12:10Speaker 2: And as the sun comes down and beats on you,
- 12:13Speaker 2: And I see how beautiful you are. I want to
- 12:16Speaker 2: almost beat it too, but I won't because we're on
- 12:19Speaker 2: a beach.
- 12:21Speaker 1: What? Go, keep going. It's ridiculous. Keep going, Chris.
- 12:28Speaker 2: As we walk along the beach and feel the relaxing
- 12:31Speaker 2: sounds of the wind and the relaxing sounds of the
- 12:34Speaker 2: ocean and my Speedo tightens around, you know, the ass,
- 12:40Speaker 2: the ass area.
- 12:42Speaker 1: It relaxes you. To see. It relaxes her to what,
- 12:47Speaker 1: see her dick? All right, turn it off. Hey, turn
- 12:51Speaker 1: it off. Okay, hold on. I don't want, General, I
- 12:55Speaker 1: don't want any of that. Come on, I'm asking. No, man,
- 12:57Speaker 1: I didn't, I never even used the word. Guys, quit
- 13:00Speaker 1: interrupting him and let him do what he's gonna do.
- 13:02Speaker 1: And Margaret, you know, just roll with it. I don't
- 13:05Speaker 1: like the whole graphic nature of General Shaw. Well, he
- 13:08Speaker 1: said it's tightening around.
- 13:09Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, it tightened and it's tightening around.
- 13:12Speaker 2: My scrotum. I was going to use shorthand for scrotum. Oh,
- 13:16Speaker 2: for God's sake.
- 13:16Speaker 1: All right, let's go. Pick it up. What's that mean,
- 13:19Speaker 1: pick it up?
- 13:19Speaker 2: Start.
- 13:20Speaker 1: Keep going.
- 13:24Speaker 2: And you can feel the warmth of the sun, and
- 13:27Speaker 2: you feel the warmth of the sand. Little sea lions
- 13:31Speaker 2: frolic hither and thither. And in the ocean, you see
- 13:35Speaker 2: surfers and people. What is water surfing? I mean, it's
- 13:39Speaker 2: body surfing. As we walk along the sand, it's relaxing
- 13:46Speaker 2: to feel the sand under our toes and we decide
- 13:49Speaker 2: that we'll stop and lay in the warmth of the
- 13:52Speaker 2: sand and feel the heat of the sun and the
- 13:54Speaker 2: warmth of the sun and the heat of the sand too.
- 13:58Speaker 2: As we lay down into the sand, you look down
- 14:01Speaker 2: on me and I look up at you. It's a
- 14:04Speaker 2: beautiful day and I see the fullness and richness of
- 14:08Speaker 2: the breasts as you look down at the The large
- 14:13Speaker 2: area in the shorts.
- 14:18Speaker 1: I haven't said anything.
- 14:21Speaker 2: We can see a beautiful ocean turtle, a sea turtle
- 14:24Speaker 2: just gliding along. And we realize it's in our imagination
- 14:29Speaker 2: since we're laying on the sand. There's no way you're
- 14:31Speaker 2: going to see a sea turtle floating underwater. It's then
- 14:34Speaker 2: that we realize our imagination has taken off and we're
- 14:37Speaker 2: using our imagination. The peacefulness And the serenity of the
- 14:44Speaker 2: sea is all around. You feel yourself beginning to relax
- 14:51Speaker 2: even more and more and more and more until finally
- 14:54Speaker 2: the relaxation has taken over and you feel yourself going unconscious.
- 15:00Speaker 2: And because you're with the one you love, she absentmindedly
- 15:05Speaker 2: reaches down into your shorts. And that kind of, you know,
- 15:10Speaker 2: you sort of wake up and go, yeah, what? You know,
- 15:13Speaker 2: I haven't figured out this part, Mr.
- 15:14Speaker 1: Henry. Turn it off. But no, and I got more. Okay,
- 15:17Speaker 1: go ahead. But I got to rewrite. Yeah, I would
- 15:20Speaker 1: say you do.
- 15:22Speaker 2: And finally, as the ocean and the tide begins to
- 15:26Speaker 2: come in, you feel the very relaxing, rippling, you know,
- 15:31Speaker 2: ocean water go up the crack of your, I don't
- 15:36Speaker 2: want to say ass, but that's what I meant. You
- 15:38Speaker 2: feel the relaxing warm ocean water ride up the crack
- 15:41Speaker 2: of your ass.
- 15:43Speaker 1: As you... What? Nothing, man. I haven't said a thing.
- 15:47Speaker 1: People are looking at me. Well, obviously, we don't think
- 15:50Speaker 1: this is a very successful effort. Keep going, man. I
- 15:53Speaker 1: don't think it's that bad.
- 15:55Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
- 15:55Speaker 5: Yeah.
- 15:56Speaker 2: And so you feel the warmth of the ocean as
- 15:58Speaker 2: the tide comes in. And the warmth of the ocean
- 16:02Speaker 2: rides up the crack of your ass. You know, the
- 16:04Speaker 2: crack of the butt.
- 16:06Speaker 1: And you feel... and you feel her hand go in
- 16:08Speaker 1: your pants, and the warmth of the water go up
- 16:11Speaker 1: the crack of your ass. Okay.
- 16:13Speaker 3: Fuck it.
- 16:13Speaker 1: Hey, watch the language. This is what I mean, Phil.
- 16:17Speaker 1: Did you come in here... Turn that off. Did you
- 16:18Speaker 1: come in here today to okey-doke us? What? Did you
- 16:22Speaker 1: come in here today to okey-doke me or any of these? No,
- 16:27Speaker 1: I didn't. Hey, Margaret, because you don't agree with his approach,
- 16:30Speaker 1: and Chris has a very rough approach, it doesn't mean
- 16:32Speaker 1: he's in here trying to con people. Well, I don't
- 16:35Speaker 1: like the whole idea of your relaxing with her hand
- 16:38Speaker 1: in your pants and the water up the crack of your.
- 16:41Speaker 4: Yeah, right at the crack of the ass. I mean,
- 16:42Speaker 4: I got to agree with Ms.
- 16:43Speaker 1: Gray. Oh, yeah, right, man. You agree with Ms. Gray
- 16:45Speaker 1: about what, man? You don't agree at all. You'd buy
- 16:50Speaker 1: this tape. No, I'm not, man.
- 16:51Speaker 4: What am I going to buy this tape for?
- 16:52Speaker 1: Because it would help you sleep, man.
- 16:54Speaker 5: Yeah, it would help me sleep because there's nothing else
- 16:56Speaker 5: in there that's boring.
- 16:58Speaker 1: What? Chris, I mean, not to criticize, but hey, look,
- 17:03Speaker 1: if you're able to sell this tape... More power to you.
- 17:06Speaker 1: There's Phil walking both sides of the street. Why don't
- 17:08Speaker 1: you take a stand for a change? I'm not kidding.
- 17:11Speaker 1: I think if Chris can market this, hey, I hate
- 17:15Speaker 1: to say this, Chris, some people may find it funny.
- 17:18Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you know, if laugh humor makes you sleep,
- 17:21Speaker 2: it relaxes you and makes you sleep.
- 17:23Speaker 1: Here, look. Here's something. I was thinking about it.
- 17:27Speaker 2: I'm Chris Norton, and this is Relax with Chris. You're
- 17:33Speaker 2: walking down the street and it's so relaxing and it's
- 17:37Speaker 2: so peaceful that you decide just to lay on a
- 17:41Speaker 2: sidewalk and a kid comes by and hawks one up
- 17:46Speaker 2: on you.
- 17:47Speaker 1: Bad move, big mistake, big mistake. See, you're laughing, Mr.
- 17:54Speaker 2: Henry.
- 17:54Speaker 4: What are you laughing at, Mr.
- 17:56Speaker 2: Henry?
- 17:57Speaker 1: Because it was funny.
- 17:59Speaker 2: Oh, sure. The beautiful, relaxing music that you hear in
- 18:03Speaker 2: your mind is how you feel when you're walking down
- 18:08Speaker 2: a beach with her. A beautiful girl with big.
- 18:12Speaker 1: You know... Why didn't you just say big tits?
- 18:15Speaker 2: Because that's not part of the relaxation.
- 18:17Speaker 1: You're not going to say big tits. I won't relax it.
- 18:20Speaker 2: Relax what? You're walking down the beach with a beautiful girl.
- 18:26Speaker 2: And yeah, she's got big.
- 18:28Speaker 1: Maybe you could keep the sex out of it.
- 18:30Speaker 2: What RELAST with Chris is about, RELAST into the cess
- 18:34Speaker 2: and to the cessal energy.
- 18:36Speaker 1: Take it easy, man.
- 18:38Speaker 2: As you look at how large they are, you're RELAST
- 18:41Speaker 2: by it. And you feel, yeah, later tonight, I'm going
- 18:46Speaker 2: to be all over that like white on rice.
- 18:52Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Chris, if you're going to sit
- 18:54Speaker 1: there and laugh, you are, Phil. What do you want
- 18:58Speaker 1: me to do, man? I came in here, Mr. Henry,
- 19:01Speaker 1: to try and be taken seriously. Yeah, I'm really relaxed, man.
- 19:04Speaker 1: I'm going to be all over those like white-eyed rice tonight.
- 19:06Speaker 1: How's that relaxing? Hey, Chris. No, forget it, man.
- 19:09Speaker 4: Hey, Chris. Need a ride home?
- 19:11Speaker 1: No, I got my car, man. Nice going, Phil. Don't
- 19:14Speaker 1: give me this nice going Phil stuff. You guys were
- 19:17Speaker 1: on him the minute he walked in here. I gave
- 19:20Speaker 1: the boy the benefit of the doubt. Yeah?
- 19:23Speaker 2: I just want to say these tapes are going to
- 19:25Speaker 2: be available for sale on my website on October... either
- 19:29Speaker 2: October 28th or November 6th. Jeez. What?
- 19:36Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. Chris Norton's relaxing tapes for you to go
- 19:41Speaker 1: to sleep by. Coming up next, Ted Bell and the
- 19:45Speaker 1: Teds of Beverly Hell. Teds of Beverly Hell and the
- 19:48Speaker 1: new slogan, Your Mouth. Our Meat, Your Move. That's right.
- 19:52Speaker 1: Coming up, world-famous Phil Henry Show.
- 19:55Speaker 2: Hi, this is Chris Norton. And along with my realization tape,
- 19:59Speaker 2: even though Mr. Henry was sitting there going, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
- 20:03Speaker 2: in the most rudest of fashion and the biggest put-down,
- 20:07Speaker 2: I still encourage you to get a backstage pass to
- 20:10Speaker 2: the world-famous Phil Henry Show.
- 20:12Speaker 1: It's good.
- 20:13Speaker 2: It's got 50,000-plus hours of Phil Henry's classic radio show.
- 20:17Speaker 2: It's got 1,000 hours of Mr. Henry's podcast out on
- 20:22Speaker 2: the digital verse and out there on the worldwide web.
- 20:26Speaker 2: It's also got videocasts, home movies. There's a lot of
- 20:30Speaker 2: TikTok videos on there. And, of course, there's a lot
- 20:34Speaker 2: of emoji head. material with myself, Chris Norton, Steve Bozell,
- 20:40Speaker 2: a lot of people, man, like Ms. Gray and Bobby Dooley, too.
- 20:45Speaker 2: So get a Bass Stage Pass to not just a
- 20:48Speaker 2: website with a radio show on it, a website with
- 20:52Speaker 2: lots and lots and lots of digital content and lots
- 20:55Speaker 2: of media on there for you to enjoy. I'm Chris Norton.
- 20:58Speaker 2: Get a Bass Stage Pass and then relax with me,
- 21:02Speaker 2: Chris Norton.
- 21:05Speaker 1: The Backstage Pass at philhenryshow.com. The greatest value online other
- 21:11Speaker 1: than Chris. Yeah. Ted's of Beverly Hills. Steakhouse, come on down.
- 21:26Speaker 6: Hey, come on down to Ted's of Beverly Hills because
- 21:28Speaker 6: guess what we got for you? We got a wonderful
- 21:31Speaker 6: Halloween celebration. Ted's of Beverly Hells.
- 21:35Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
- 21:36Speaker 1: Here at Ted's, we want to put our meat in
- 21:40Speaker 1: your mouth. Ted Bell joining us in a world-famous Phil
- 21:44Speaker 1: Henry show from Ted's of Beverly Hills. And great to
- 21:48Speaker 1: have you with us, Ted. And I know we've been
- 21:50Speaker 1: talking before you came on. We were talking about the
- 21:52Speaker 1: Ted's of Beverly Hill promotion. And also, where did Ted go? Ted.
- 21:59Speaker 1: I'm right here. I'm waiting to... Sorry. We've been talking
- 22:03Speaker 1: about your new Ted's of Beverly Hell promotion and the
- 22:07Speaker 1: new slogan.
- 22:08Speaker 6: Bill, as you know, we never tire on Ted's of
- 22:12Speaker 6: Beverly Hills. We never tire of looking for new ways,
- 22:16Speaker 6: better ways to roll out our slogan. And we've tinkered
- 22:22Speaker 6: with it down through the years. We've had, you know,
- 22:24Speaker 6: as we've said, we want to deliver our meat to
- 22:28Speaker 6: your mouth. We insist on our meat going into your mouth.
- 22:32Speaker 6: But I was talking, of all people, to my dear son, Josh,
- 22:37Speaker 6: and I wasn't bringing up the Ted to Beverly Hills
- 22:38Speaker 6: slogan with him, but I was saying, you know, we've
- 22:41Speaker 6: got a problem at work and trying to come up
- 22:43Speaker 6: with a new advertising slogan. And he said, you, me,
- 22:46Speaker 6: In-N-Out Burger, which is Josh's favorite place.
- 22:49Speaker 1: It's not Ted's of Beverly Hills, huh? No, Josh, you know,
- 22:52Speaker 1: as you know, we've got a policy about kids. Do
- 22:56Speaker 1: you let kids in the restaurant? Only on special occasions.
- 23:00Speaker 6: Most of the time, no. Kids are not allowed. They're
- 23:02Speaker 6: not allowed anywhere near the restaurant. And I mean nowhere
- 23:05Speaker 6: near it. If I can set up, I know it's
- 23:08Speaker 6: probably extra legal, but we actually do have people down
- 23:10Speaker 6: at Wilshire, Santa Monica Boulevard, wherever we can, the ingress
- 23:14Speaker 6: and egress to the restaurant, and if we see anybody
- 23:17Speaker 6: with a kid, and we'll say, hey.
- 23:20Speaker 1: Are you going to Ted's? And if they say yes,
- 23:22Speaker 1: we'll go, the kid, you can't, something like that. You're
- 23:25Speaker 1: kidding me. You actually stop people.
- 23:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 23:28Speaker 1: You stop people and you say you're not allowed to
- 23:30Speaker 1: come in to Ted's with a kid. Well, what's the big.
- 23:33Speaker 3: Well, Ted, for God's sake, there's people that have children. Obviously,
- 23:36Speaker 3: they value the company of their children.
- 23:39Speaker 6: Well, I understand that, but I let them know... it
- 23:41Speaker 6: don't hurt i look at our bob i'm a father
- 23:44Speaker 6: i'm a family band i agree with all the things
- 23:46Speaker 6: you're saying but you're not coming here with a kid
- 23:50Speaker 6: are you people serious.
- 23:52Speaker 1: I i did not know that you had such a
- 23:53Speaker 1: stringent policy no i did not bill how long have
- 23:56Speaker 1: i been a advertiser in your show i'd like a
- 23:58Speaker 1: long time and i did not know i knew that
- 24:00Speaker 1: you didn't let kids in i think what after six
- 24:03Speaker 1: o'clock we don't let kids in here at all On
- 24:07Speaker 1: special occasions, I told you we did the Easter, Ted,
- 24:09Speaker 1: which was an absolute disaster.
- 24:12Speaker 6: An absolute disaster. The one and only time that I said, sure,
- 24:16Speaker 6: we'll let a.
- 24:18Speaker 1: I don't know. All right, Ted, we realize that this
- 24:19Speaker 1: has gotten to be very, very emotional for you. Ted,
- 24:23Speaker 1: what's the problem with kids? It's an adult establishment. Oh,
- 24:27Speaker 1: my God. All right, Ted, don't flip out, man. These
- 24:30Speaker 1: are things we don't know. I'm not a restaurateur. Nobody
- 24:33Speaker 1: here is a restaurateur. Why don't you let kids in there?
- 24:36Speaker 1: Because we want adults to come in here, have drinks,
- 24:40Speaker 1: have a dinner, and enjoy themselves. And you can't do
- 24:43Speaker 1: that when you've got kids running around here, when you've
- 24:45Speaker 1: got a bunch, excuse me for saying, Phil, but you
- 24:47Speaker 1: can't do it when you've got brats running between the tables.
- 24:50Speaker 1: Trust me when I tell you, you know that's true.
- 24:52Speaker 1: Every adult listening knows it's true, but because they want
- 24:55Speaker 1: to be all politically correct. All right, Ted, don't get
- 24:59Speaker 1: so pissed off, man. Well, I was looking forward to
- 25:02Speaker 1: coming on your program tonight. And we want to talk
- 25:04Speaker 1: about two, we've got two great promotions to talk about.
- 25:07Speaker 1: Ted's at Beverly Hill. Ted's at Beverly, yeah.
- 25:10Speaker 4: I mean, everybody's looking forward to it.
- 25:12Speaker 1: Well, I don't feel it. Come on, Ted. Ted, look,
- 25:16Speaker 1: I understand the policy. Frank does, because as you know,
- 25:19Speaker 1: Frank and I are regulars at your restaurant. We get it.
- 25:22Speaker 1: We are parents. We understand. We know it's not personal.
- 25:25Speaker 1: That's the whole thing. It's not personal.
- 25:27Speaker 6: I just don't want your kid in here.
- 25:29Speaker 1: Okay?
- 25:30Speaker 6: If you're going to come out for a steak, you're
- 25:31Speaker 6: going to come out for a drink, you want to
- 25:32Speaker 6: have a good time, keep whatever you've got to do.
- 25:35Speaker 1: Take it. Give it to a... You mean him or her?
- 25:38Speaker 6: What?
- 25:39Speaker 1: Him or her.
- 25:40Speaker 5: What?
- 25:41Speaker 4: Talk about the kid, is it?
- 25:43Speaker 1: All right, him or take him or her and give
- 25:47Speaker 1: them to a babysitter. All right, Ted Bell at Ted's
- 25:49Speaker 1: of Beverly Hills tonight. We're discussing Ted's of Beverly Hell.
- 25:53Speaker 1: Tell me about it.
- 25:54Speaker 6: All right, Phil, this is going to be fantastic. Ted's
- 25:56Speaker 6: of Beverly Hell. What we wanted to do... is we
- 26:00Speaker 6: wanted to invite people into hell, okay? When you come
- 26:04Speaker 6: to Ted's in Beverly Hills on Halloween night, you will
- 26:06Speaker 6: be walking into hell, okay? And if you can take it,
- 26:11Speaker 6: if you can take the gauntlet that you have to
- 26:13Speaker 6: run and make it to our dining room, then you
- 26:17Speaker 6: can sit down to a delicious half-off steak dinner. Here's
- 26:21Speaker 6: what you get for the half-off for running the Ted's
- 26:23Speaker 6: in Beverly Hills gauntlet. You'll get a beautiful Kansas City porter, Ted.
- 26:30Speaker 6: A free Ted, potatoes, and of course, baked Ted for dessert.
- 26:37Speaker 1: Baked Ted? I didn't know you had baked Ted. We
- 26:39Speaker 1: got baked Ted. What is it, baked Alaska? No, it's
- 26:41Speaker 1: baked Ted. Well, but it's baked Alaska, right? No, it's
- 26:45Speaker 1: baked Ted. T-E-D. Oh, my God. All right, so it's
- 26:50Speaker 1: baked Ted. Now, what do they got to do to
- 26:52Speaker 1: get the half off on the baked Ted? Hold on.
- 26:53Speaker 1: Baked Ted, a Ted, potatoes.
- 26:56Speaker 6: Potatoes, a baked potato. Or you can get the mixed potatoes.
- 27:02Speaker 6: Then there's the mixed tenables, which are vegetables. And then,
- 27:05Speaker 6: of course, the big Kansas City porter, Ted. 32 ounces, okay?
- 27:11Speaker 6: 32 ounces of meat for you to shove into your mouth.
- 27:15Speaker 6: And all of that half off at Ted's at Beverly Hill,
- 27:19Speaker 6: if you can make it to the gauntlet.
- 27:20Speaker 1: So what is the gauntlet they have to run? What
- 27:22Speaker 1: is this? All right.
- 27:23Speaker 6: You come through the door, and I'll be dressed as Dracula.
- 27:27Speaker 6: And the first thing that happens is I'm there, and
- 27:28Speaker 6: I go, yeah!
- 27:30Speaker 1: Okay?
- 27:31Speaker 6: And I leap out. So I'm leaping out from behind
- 27:33Speaker 6: the hostess stand. So you come to the door, and
- 27:37Speaker 6: I go, ha-ha! And I have the big cape.
- 27:40Speaker 1: Okay?
- 27:41Speaker 6: Now, if you can make it through that, then you
- 27:43Speaker 6: walk a few more steps, and we bring down the
- 27:46Speaker 6: big automatic skeleton. We drop it down from the rafters.
- 27:48Speaker 6: The skeleton comes down.
- 27:50Speaker 1: Okay?
- 27:51Speaker 6: And it drops right in front of you. Then all
- 27:54Speaker 6: the lights are off, by the way, Phil. Okay, then
- 27:57Speaker 6: I run around in front of the skeleton, and I've
- 27:59Speaker 6: got on like a green goblin costume. This thing glows
- 28:02Speaker 6: in the dark, Phil. And I go, ah!
- 28:04Speaker 1: You know? And if you make it through that... When
- 28:08Speaker 1: you say if you make it through that, what do
- 28:10Speaker 1: you think people are going to do? I think a
- 28:11Speaker 1: lot of people are going to turn around and leave. Ted,
- 28:13Speaker 1: that does not sound scary. Oh, really?
- 28:15Speaker 6: Let me explain something to you guys. Hey, you guys,
- 28:17Speaker 6: hold on for just a minute. You guys want to
- 28:19Speaker 6: shut up? All right, let me explain something to you, Phil.
- 28:21Speaker 6: When a guy comes out of the dark, okay, out
- 28:25Speaker 6: of the pitch black, and goes, ah! And he's wearing
- 28:28Speaker 6: a Dracula costume, and I'll have on the fangs, I'll
- 28:31Speaker 6: have the blood coming down, I'll have the whole nine yards. It'll,
- 28:34Speaker 6: excuse me for saying this, Phil, and forgive me, everyone,
- 28:37Speaker 6: it'll scare the shit out of you.
- 28:39Speaker 1: Okay, you understand? I understand that that's what you think
- 28:42Speaker 1: it'll do. I'm just, I agree with Margaret. It sounds
- 28:46Speaker 1: like people may survive that, Ted. All right, if they
- 28:48Speaker 1: survive it, they survive it. God damn it, what do
- 28:51Speaker 1: you want from me, you know? Well, I mean, you're
- 28:52Speaker 1: going to be giving out a whole lot of half-off
- 28:54Speaker 1: steak dinners. What are you talking about? Let me ask
- 28:59Speaker 1: you something, Phil. If you're walking in.
- 29:01Speaker 6: Through a dark door and you're not expecting anything, okay,
- 29:06Speaker 6: and all of a sudden the guy goes, you're trying
- 29:09Speaker 6: to tell me that's not going to scare.
- 29:10Speaker 1: The living hell out of you? Yes, that would scare me.
- 29:12Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. But would it scare me so much
- 29:15Speaker 1: that I'm not going to come into the restaurant?
- 29:18Speaker 6: Well, what we're looking for, if it scares the vet
- 29:21Speaker 6: so much that they go, ooh, like that, you know,
- 29:25Speaker 6: then we go, you don't get the steak dinner.
- 29:27Speaker 1: Oh, so in other words, you have to survive that
- 29:31Speaker 1: without showing any fear. Exactly.
- 29:35Speaker 6: So if I come out of the dark dressed as
- 29:37Speaker 6: Dracula with fangs, blood coming out of my face, okay?
- 29:41Speaker 6: I mean, I got blood coming off of my fangs,
- 29:45Speaker 6: and I go, ah!
- 29:48Speaker 1: And a guy flinches. And the guy flinches, yes. Then
- 29:51Speaker 1: he doesn't get the steak dinner.
- 29:55Speaker 5: Well, I mean, that sounds kind of cheesy, man. It
- 29:57Speaker 5: sounds like it'd be easy. It sounds kind of cheap.
- 30:01Speaker 1: Why does it sound cheap?
- 30:02Speaker 4: Because, I mean, God, man, you got.
- 30:05Speaker 1: To be like almost like dead.
- 30:07Speaker 4: You'd have to be a robot.
- 30:08Speaker 1: I agree with Bud. You'd have to have no emotion
- 30:10Speaker 1: at all not to have at least some reaction. Otherwise,
- 30:13Speaker 1: you don't get the half-off steak dinner.
- 30:16Speaker 6: Well, I don't know what business you guys think that
- 30:18Speaker 6: I'm in, but I'm not in the business of giving
- 30:21Speaker 6: food away.
- 30:22Speaker 1: I know, Ted, but don't you want the contest to
- 30:23Speaker 1: be fair? So what is this anyway? I come on
- 30:27Speaker 1: your program, Phil, as sponsor, and I... Ted, you know,
- 30:31Speaker 1: you've always said to us, you know, challenge me on
- 30:34Speaker 1: some of these things. Make it sound like a real interview.
- 30:36Speaker 1: Didn't you say that to us last week? You didn't
- 30:38Speaker 1: want it to sound like a commercial? Oh, my God.
- 30:41Speaker 1: Listen to this guy. You guys are giving too much away.
- 30:44Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Didn't you say that, Ted?
- 30:47Speaker 6: Yeah, but you're going to talk about that on the air?
- 30:48Speaker 6: That's something that I talk with you guys about in
- 30:51Speaker 6: programming meetings.
- 30:52Speaker 1: Well, you want it.
- 30:52Speaker 4: Okay.
- 30:54Speaker 1: Okay, as long as you spill the beans, yes, I
- 30:56Speaker 1: want it to be realistic. Okay, so we're asking you
- 30:58Speaker 1: questions that I think other people would ask. I have
- 31:01Speaker 1: to be honest with you. I think anybody would ask
- 31:03Speaker 1: the question, okay, well, that doesn't sound like you're going to,
- 31:07Speaker 1: that sounds like you're demanding too much of people. Like
- 31:09Speaker 1: you're not going to give away one steak dinner. Well,
- 31:12Speaker 1: like I said, I'm not in the business of giving
- 31:13Speaker 1: food away. Well, you guys kill me, Phil.
- 31:17Speaker 6: Sometimes you say that I'm not doing a good enough
- 31:19Speaker 6: promotion because people don't, you know, get enough. Another time
- 31:22Speaker 6: you tell me that I've given it up too easy.
- 31:24Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. Well, all right, okay.
- 31:26Speaker 1: I mean, let me put it to you this way.
- 31:29Speaker 1: I would love to be at the restaurant on Halloween
- 31:31Speaker 1: night to see who survives having the crap scared out
- 31:34Speaker 1: of them.
- 31:35Speaker 6: Well, it's a good question, isn't it? It's Ted's of
- 31:38Speaker 6: Beverly Hills, see? You walk into my restaurant on Halloween
- 31:41Speaker 6: night and you think it's going to be some fun
- 31:44Speaker 6: and games? I'm going to tell you, you'll have.
- 31:46Speaker 1: The shit scared out of you when you come to
- 31:49Speaker 1: the front door. Hey, Ted, what's the story, man? You
- 31:52Speaker 1: sound like you're taking something personal.
- 31:54Speaker 6: No, I just don't like being challenged like this. It's
- 31:57Speaker 6: my promotion, my restaurant, okay?
- 31:59Speaker 1: All right, Ted's at Beverly Hills on Halloween night. Ted's
- 32:03Speaker 1: at Beverly Hell.
- 32:04Speaker 6: Yeah, Ted's at Beverly Hell, Halloween night. And when you
- 32:08Speaker 6: come through that door, okay?
- 32:10Speaker 1: Now, we're announcing this on the air. People are going
- 32:12Speaker 1: to be expecting it. What is it? The people listening
- 32:15Speaker 1: are going to be expecting you to be leaping out
- 32:18Speaker 1: and going, ah, or whatever. Well, I'm not going to
- 32:21Speaker 1: do it like that. I'm going to do it good, okay?
- 32:24Speaker 1: But they're going to be expecting it. I don't care
- 32:26Speaker 1: if they're expecting it. How do you figure that? Ted,
- 32:29Speaker 1: you're talking about it right now. Obviously, they're going to
- 32:31Speaker 1: expect it.
- 32:34Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
- 32:36Speaker 4: Well, didn't you understand that that happened?
- 32:39Speaker 1: Hold on, Fred. Hey, Bobby, think of something else because
- 32:42Speaker 1: they're going to be expecting it. All right, Ted. Thanks
- 32:47Speaker 1: a lot, Phil. Thanks for nothing. What are you talking about, man?
- 32:50Speaker 1: I'm coming over to Ted's at Beverly Hills on Halloween night.
- 32:52Speaker 1: I expect everybody to come over to Ted's at Beverly Hills,
- 32:54Speaker 1: have yourself a steak dinner.
- 32:56Speaker 6: But it ain't going to be half off, okay? You've
- 32:58Speaker 6: got to survive Ted's at Beverly Hills.
- 33:00Speaker 1: But they already know what it's going to be. All right,
- 33:02Speaker 1: then I'll change it. What are you going to change
- 33:04Speaker 1: it to? Well, if I tell you that... Oh, man.
- 33:07Speaker 1: Get a load of this. All right, Ted. The very
- 33:10Speaker 1: best of luck to you for Halloween night. We hope
- 33:13Speaker 1: everything goes well for you, but... I'm sorry we blew the... Yeah,
- 33:17Speaker 1: thanks a lot. Well, you're the one that told us, Ted.
- 33:22Speaker 1: Hang it up. Hang it up, will you? Hang it up. Phil,
- 33:25Speaker 1: when you laugh, you know that that makes him feel...
- 33:28Speaker 1: I don't care what it makes him feel like, okay?
- 33:30Speaker 1: I'm getting a little tired of this stuff. Ted is
- 33:32Speaker 1: an adult. He's a grown-up. He's an all-grown-up man. And
- 33:36Speaker 1: he knows what's up. Yeah, but I mean, Mr.
- 33:38Speaker 4: Henry, Ted's a Beverly Hill. You know, he's going to go, ah.
- 33:41Speaker 1: So he's going to go, ah. Didn't he tell us
- 33:44Speaker 1: to challenge him on some of these concepts?
- 33:45Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 33:46Speaker 1: I don't understand how. Look, it's Mr. Bell. Yeah, Ted.
- 33:52Speaker 6: Thanks a lot for talking about me after I hanged
- 33:54Speaker 6: the phone up, by the way, Phil.
- 33:55Speaker 1: Listen, look, Ted. I want this to be a successful promotion, okay?
- 34:00Speaker 1: And I don't doubt for a minute that there's going
- 34:03Speaker 1: to be a lot of people freaked out when they
- 34:05Speaker 1: come through the door. When you leap out of the door. Yeah,
- 34:07Speaker 1: but what? I'm just saying, talking about it now tells
- 34:11Speaker 1: people what to expect. Well, all right.
- 34:14Speaker 6: What I'm thinking about is they won't know when I'm
- 34:17Speaker 6: going to do it. So they'll go through the front door.
- 34:19Speaker 6: They'll be expecting it. But it won't happen when they
- 34:21Speaker 6: expect it, okay?
- 34:22Speaker 1: See? So when would you do it? I would do
- 34:25Speaker 1: it probably just before they get to the dining room.
- 34:27Speaker 1: They're thinking, oh, there's the dining room. I've made it.
- 34:30Speaker 1: And I'm probably going to get a free steak or whatever.
- 34:32Speaker 1: And then I'll come out and I'll go.
- 34:36Speaker 1: Like that, see? Well, now you just told people you
- 34:38Speaker 1: were going to do that. What? Now you just told
- 34:41Speaker 1: people you were going to do that. What a dickhead. Ted, look,
- 34:47Speaker 1: we've got one more thing we need to talk with
- 34:49Speaker 1: you about. And that is the new slogan.
- 34:52Speaker 6: Well, you know, we are rolling out the new slogan.
- 34:55Speaker 6: What we thought we would do is roll it out
- 34:57Speaker 6: after Halloween. And we feel we have a good opportunity
- 35:01Speaker 6: doing that. It basically is your mouth, our.
- 35:03Speaker 1: Meat, you know. I thought you were going to use
- 35:07Speaker 1: your mouth, our meat, your move.
- 35:09Speaker 6: We were going to, General, and then I realized that
- 35:12Speaker 6: that was something that you had made popular. They hold
- 35:15Speaker 6: your move. And I thought, well, we might have a problem,
- 35:18Speaker 6: not so much in terms of a copyright, but I
- 35:21Speaker 6: thought some people might think that somehow.
- 35:23Speaker 1: I'm copying you or I'm walking around behind you, you know,
- 35:27Speaker 1: hoping to pick up some meat from your cheeseburger or something,
- 35:31Speaker 1: you know, like I'm some dog following you around, waiting
- 35:34Speaker 1: for some meat to drop off of your cheeseburger or something.
- 35:36Speaker 1: What are you talking about, Ted? I don't think anybody
- 35:37Speaker 1: thinks that. I just, I wanted it to be original.
- 35:40Speaker 1: All right, I mean, I think we're all friends here.
- 35:43Speaker 1: At least I thought we were. Yeah, that's what I thought, Phil.
- 35:45Speaker 1: All right, okay, I... I'm sorry if we got off
- 35:48Speaker 1: on the wrong foot, but your meat... Say it again?
- 35:51Speaker 1: What do you mean, your meat? Your mouth... Okay, your mouth,
- 35:54Speaker 1: our meat. Your mouth, our meat.
- 35:57Speaker 2: Ah.
- 35:58Speaker 1: Ted, didn't you get into trouble once before? Oh, come on, Phil.
- 36:02Speaker 1: Would you give me a break? Give me at least
- 36:04Speaker 1: one promotion. Ted, you did something once before with ah. No,
- 36:08Speaker 1: I did not. Somebody did. Bud, do you remember?
- 36:10Speaker 5: Yeah, it was... I don't know. It was a guest
- 36:14Speaker 5: we had on a long time ago.
- 36:17Speaker 1: I don't know what you guys are talking about. Hold on.
- 36:19Speaker 1: What was it? It was a guest we had a
- 36:21Speaker 1: long time ago, and his whole thing was something, something, then... Ah.
- 36:25Speaker 1: You know what? I think it was Dean Wheeler or
- 36:27Speaker 1: somebody operating a spa. I don't know. Are you accusing
- 36:30Speaker 1: me of ripping somebody off? No, I'm not accusing you
- 36:32Speaker 1: of ripping anybody off. I'm just saying that it might
- 36:33Speaker 1: be something that someone else has done. All right. Well,
- 36:36Speaker 1: let me tell you what.
- 36:37Speaker 6: Until such time as I find out that, quote, somebody
- 36:40Speaker 6: else has done it, end.
- 36:41Speaker 1: Quote, Ted Bell... This is a Ted Bell original. Your mouth...
- 36:45Speaker 1: Our meat? Ah, yeah.
- 36:47Speaker 6: Something like that. I haven't figured it out. I got
- 36:49Speaker 6: this Halloween thing in my brain, you know.
- 36:51Speaker 3: Ted, do you ever worry, ever worry at all, that
- 36:54Speaker 3: people are going to be profoundly offended by some of this?
- 36:56Speaker 1: No, I'm not, Margaret, because as I've said a million times,
- 36:59Speaker 1: and I'll say a million times yet, it is not
- 37:01Speaker 1: intended pruriently, it is not intended in a dirty way,
- 37:05Speaker 1: it is intended for people to enjoy meat as in steaks,
- 37:09Speaker 1: mouth as in eat steak. It has nothing to do
- 37:13Speaker 1: with blowjobs! I'm sorry, Phil. I really... Okay, he's wound
- 37:18Speaker 1: too tight tonight. I should say he is, and I
- 37:21Speaker 1: will not speak to that man. All right, Margaret, get
- 37:23Speaker 1: off your high horse, okay?
- 37:24Speaker 4: Yeah, no kidding, Margaret.
- 37:25Speaker 1: Give the guy a break. I beg your... Just give
- 37:28Speaker 1: him a break. There's something going on with him. He's
- 37:31Speaker 1: wound too tight. Like you said, maybe it's business off, bud?
- 37:34Speaker 4: I don't know. Sound to me like business is good.
- 37:36Speaker 1: Call him up. No, I don't want him back on
- 37:38Speaker 1: the air. Call him up and tell him we forgive him.
- 37:40Speaker 1: We'll just talk to him later, okay? Yeah, Ted. Yeah,
- 37:43Speaker 1: don't do it now, man. Oh, I'm sorry. They don't
- 37:46Speaker 1: want me to do it now. Yeah. Okay, look, Phil. Ted, listen.
- 37:51Speaker 1: I'm not angry. Believe me. I'm not angry. I just
- 37:54Speaker 1: want to say I didn't mean something. What do you
- 37:56Speaker 1: think I mean when I say I don't want to
- 37:57Speaker 1: talk to him?
- 37:58Speaker 4: I forgot.
- 37:59Speaker 1: What's to forget? I got it, Margaret.
- 38:01Speaker 2: Never mind.
- 38:02Speaker 1: Never mind. Never mind. World-famous Phil Henry Show, executive produced
- 38:10Speaker 1: by me, Phil Henry, for Siempre Incorporated, All Rights Reserved.
- 38:13Speaker 4: Is that it?
- 38:13Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. Bye. I'm Margaret Gray.
- 38:18Speaker 1: I'm General Cameron Shaw.
- 38:19Speaker 4: I'm Bud Dickman.
- 38:20Speaker 1: We're having a ball. On iHeart Podcasts.