Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Kevin Standa - Exploring the Complexities of Fatherhood

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Kevin Standa - Exploring the Complexities of Fatherhood · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Now this company's mission is to provide an unparalleled Alaskan experience that will enable their customers to explore everything that the region has to offer.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Additionally, they are dedicated to supporting and promoting the local community, the culture, as well as protecting and preserving the natural beauty that the resources of the region have to offer us.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: So I'm going there in June.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I can't wait.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: And whether you're looking to find a wellness retreat, if you're looking for a place to take your favorite customer, if you're looking for a way to maybe take your leadership team, check out LatitudeSitkacom, because they will give you some amazing sea exploration from fishing to commercial fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, even paddle boarding.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If none of those sound interesting to you, well then go.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: So go to LatitudeSitkacom now and book that next wellness retreat.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it is Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dadcast, we are in season four and it has been such a journey and such a fun year talking to so many fantastic dads.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: And this next one is we'll continue that same theme.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: He is someone I met when I had the luxury of speaking at their company last year.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Actually, I had a chance to play golf with them too, and I met him through former guest Brett Kavanaugh Kaby.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: What's up, brother?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: And our next guest is Kevin Standa.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: He's the chief revenue officer at Temporc Software, also Lone Oak payroll, which is a subsidiary of Temporc Software.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: He's a fantastic golfer, he's a golden golfer, but more importantly, he's a dad, and we're going to learn about how Kevin is working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his households without further ado.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Mr Standa, welcome to the quarterback dadcast.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me, Casey.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: How about that intro?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: How about that intro?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: When's the last time someone give love to the golden golfers man?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: it doesn't happen often and it's not something that I'm.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I wasn't a huge like rah rah college guy, but I'll take it anytime I can get it.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Well, there we go Well, and we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a father today?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: As a father, I am grateful for family with a capital F.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I have three healthy, happy children.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: My wife is a rock star.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: But on the broader scale, my big brother is moving home to Minnesota in the next two weeks.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Him and his wife built a life over the last 13 plus years in the Chicagoland area and they are moving home to provide a better atmosphere for their family.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: They have a autistic daughter who got into a very prestigious I shouldn't say prestigious, but very well rounded school to help autistic children here in Minnesota.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So they're relocating back.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Excitement and happiness doesn't begin to describe it.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: My younger brother is also living locally in Minnesota.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: He is thriving.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: He is a serial entrepreneur who's had several successful businesses.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: My parents are healthy and happy, located here in Minnesota, unbelievably involved in our lives and the lives of our children, so just couldn't be happier about that.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: And then something that might be a little bit rare in this instance I hit the jackpot, or the lottery, if you will, with in-laws.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I have the best in-laws in the world.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I'm so thankful and grateful for them.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: They're very involved in our lives, our children's lives, and it's fantastic to have everybody here in Minnesota.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Love it, love it.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, man.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: You just kept rolling.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: You know the gratitudes genuine from the heart when that all just came out.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for like one on one time I've been having with my kids and I'm grateful for the growth I'm seeing them in multiple ways, whether it's through goal setting or visualization or hard work.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: My daughter this past weekend, as we talked about before we started recording, I was at our member guest golf tournament and I get a text from my daughter that has a picture of her workout with a fire emoji.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Like I didn't ask you to work out.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's like the habits of she just loves.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: She's a high school basketball player, so she loves.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: She's like here's the shots.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: I got up and I didn't ask for it, but she just loves, she's proud of it and wanted to share it with me, so it's like I love that that habit has stuck for her.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: And then this weekend my son was.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: He also had.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: He was at the member guest but he cattied for one of our members.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: He's a great, great dude and his son Alon.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I had numerous people come up to me and say, man Ryder is he's one.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: He's such a good kid, he asked great questions, man.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: He was so respectful and I told Ryder I said, buddy, I know that golf is super important to you and it's.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: It's a hard game, as we all know, but whether you shoot 5,000 or 28 under, I could give two shits the fact that you're a good human being and people respect you and like it, and these are life skills that are going to take you forever, and so I'm grateful for these, seeing that and he still puts way too much pressure on himself at times, but I'm just grateful for those opportunities to like slow down and to celebrate them.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: That's all I mean.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I'm years away from that stuff.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: But the dreams I have about my daughter texting me independently when she could have sent that to her friends or you know whoever about her workout.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Instead she sends it to her dad Like that's the coolest thing.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: And then from your other, your other episodes.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: What I love hearing is the continued gratitude that you have for the one on one time with your kids, and it sounds like you know you do an excellent job of making sure you get that time with them.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: But it's just cool to hear over and over again like I got to spend this time with my kids one on one this with my daughter, this with my son like that's the stuff of dreams, so that's cool.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's definitely hard.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: You got, you got to be intentional about it.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: I think the the you and your spouse had to be on the same page.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: A lot of times we'll do stuff as a family, but I've I learned this from other dads.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: They, you know, sometimes that one on one time and it's not always doing what you want to do Like I could say, hey, honey, do you want to go play golf?
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: She's like I don't like golf, dad.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: But sometimes I'll say, hey, do you want to ride that?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Do you want to drive the cart?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and then so then not obviously dad wins, she gets to win, she's driving the cart, or we'll go get coffee or ice cream or something, but like it's and sometimes it's not always the quantity or but it's quality.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: It could be in for us, like even her rebound, me rebounding for her.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: She loves that's like our thing.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Go out, shoot for 45 minutes and rebound, and that's where you get.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: You're talking about stuff, All right.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: So you, you talked about the family, you talked about the big bro moving home, which is fantastic.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: But I want to hear inside the stand to huddle like, talk to me about your wife, how you guys met and then talk about each member of the team.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so my wife is a rock star and she doesn't know it, which is good for me because it keeps me married to her, where she could very easily trade up or could have, you know, not settled down.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: She could have settled up if she wanted to, but she's awesome.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: We met on.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: We went out on the lake with one of my good friends at the time was dating her best friend at the time and they were like, hey, we're all going on the lake together tonight.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: It's one of those met on a boat and she had a boyfriend at the time and she was like but we obviously you're on a small boat, so it's not far apart.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: We chatted while we were out there.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: When our separate ways six-ish months later, ran into each other party and like, as I walked through the front door, her friend screamed she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, must have made quite an impression on a boat if they're still thinking about it six months later.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: And then we've been dating pretty much ever since then, been married for 10 years now.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in June.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: She is.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: She owns two different businesses.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: We are partners in a salon here locally that she is an owner and operator of.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: She also owns her own hair and beauty business.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: She does a lot of wedding hair and makeup.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: She is nationally renowned, if not internet.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: She's won several trips and contests internationally.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I joked with her when she was making the transition from being an employee at a salon to running her own business, being very nervous, as I'm sure you are well aware, taking the leap of faith of I can do this myself.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I had to give her the speech of you're, lebron James.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: You have to know that no matter where LeBron James goes, greatness is going to follow.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I don't follow basketball at all, but LeBron is a present enough character to know.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I've been through several different teams and won championships with just about all of them.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: That is the insight on her, if you will.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: She's fantastic.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: She keeps our house together.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: She keeps our kids well clothed and clean and ready for the day.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Are you her best customer with your haircut?
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you and I share similar characteristics.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I make it very easy on her of not having to give her a hard time.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Those that can't see so real quick, this is an audio only podcast.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Kevin and I can see each other right now, thanks to our friends at Zencaster, but if you did see us, it's almost like we're brothers.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm staring at myself.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: We're bald, strikingly handsome, with fantastic beards.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Maybe your wife could trim the beard.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I've asked to get it faded, like some of those social media stars that you see, and she just laughs at me.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But I make it easy on her for that.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: But she is wonderful, my partner in crime, my best friend all the other good things I can say about her.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: she's an absolute rock star.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: The other circus members in our family, if you will we have Swift, our oldest boy.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: He is five years old.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: He's named after, in a way, me, but it's a family name that goes back generations.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: It's my middle name.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: It has been a first, middle and last name throughout my mom's side of the family.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: So a little bit of pressure, if you will, of naming your first kid Swift, being that unique of a name and kind of having that story.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: No pressure on him, but more pressure on the parents when you tell other people and they're like oh that's named Swift, but he's a Mathlete.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: He's a stud.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: He's five years old, mathlete's name.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: He's into everything.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: He does hockey.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: He's a great swimmer at five he's playing tennis.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: He's playing golf, he's into all of it, and if you have a game for him to play that he can win.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: He's going to find a way to win.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Our middle child, our daughter, the princess Monroe, is.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: We lovingly joke that she is going to be on the 10 o'clock news one day.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: It's either going to be her accepting the presidential award for some great thing that she did or it's going to be me and her mother standing in front of the camera going we love you, but you need to turn yourself in.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: She is everything all the time.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I could not love her anymore.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: She has me wrapped around her finger.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: She is the best and gives me a run for my money every single day.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: And then our youngest is.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: He'll be five months next week.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: His name is Tripp.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: He is named after my younger brother, Obviously also a family name, and with Swift being his older brother, we figured we couldn't name him Paul, Tom or Chris, so we had to go with something a little creative.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: But I could think of no better way to honor my brother.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: And it's been great.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: He's healthy, happy, sleeping through the night, and he's just the quietest, happiest little baby.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So we've been very fortunate.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Love it, and is your daughter.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: What was her age?
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: She's three, and is she showing interest yet in activities that bring a smile to her face?
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, she absolutely loves to color and all things artistic.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Just in the past, I would say four to six months she has become a girly girl and kind of as a background, like my wife's, artistic creativity and ability knows no bounds.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: She can draw every Disney character from memory with nothing more than a pencil, whereas I can't draw a stick figure to save my life.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So all signs are pointing to my daughter taking after her more, which I couldn't be happier about.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: And yeah, she's up for anything but hasn't shown a ton of interest in sports.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: We're talking about getting her involved in all of the standard stuff gymnastics and tennis and all that stuff kind of coming up this year.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: She's wonderful.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Well, sounds like a busy crew.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Love the names.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I love unique names.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I think those are.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Those are those fun.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: And when he said swift, I'm like I have a swift stand.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: That sounds like a, like an athlete, which obviously you described him well.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: So I want to go on and look, I want to transition on.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Talk about life for you growing up.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I know you're a hockey guy, we talked about that in the past but talk about what was life like growing up for you and then share a little bit about what the impact your parents had on you now that you're a father.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I had maybe the most blessed, enchanted childhood a kid could ever have, looking back on it, realizing my parents sacrificed a great deal and worked incredibly hard to provide the three of us with a dream childhood.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: We got to pursue on a very popular lake here in Minnesota called Lake Minnetonka.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: We got to pursue just about anything within reason that we wanted to as far as sports or interests were related.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Our parents were very involved in our childhood, importantly with lessons learned every step of the way.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Born and raised in the Chicago land area, my dad was raised by two immigrants to the United States.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Both my grandpa's fought in World War II.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: They were raised in certain ways back then that made them be who the people they are today, but in the best way possible.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: They were accountability and responsibility.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: We're two of the biggest things in our household growing up, but growing up in a household with three boys.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: We're all roughly two years apart.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: I'm in the middle.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: We each got a little bit bigger and faster as it went down the line.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: So there was just talking about this with a friend the other night.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: My wife brought it up.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: She was like, have you ever been punched in the face?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And I was like a lot, very hard.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: And I was talking about it with a friend and they were like did you and your brothers just used to fight like crazy?
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like yep, but there was a moment for each of us where, like the younger, one realized they were bigger and stronger and a little bit meaner.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And it happened for me when I was 19 and I came home for my freshman, my first semester of freshman year at college.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I walked in the front door and I looked at my younger brother and I was like oh, somebody got fat while I was away.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And he stood up and ripped off his sweatshirt and at the time he was being recruited to be a Division 1 football player and in that moment I realized how big of a mistake I had made and he punched me in the chest so hard I thought my soul left my body and that was the moment I was like okay, it's over for me.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I'm no longer the big bad guy in the house.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: But back to your actual question.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: We had a fantastic childhood that was based off of Accountability and responsibility for my dad and my mom was the ultimate homemaker, the best mom we could ever have.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Looking back as an adult now, that's how, if you would have asked me when I was 18 or it was so hard, our parents were tough on us.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Looking back, now you realize they did everything they needed to do to make sure that we were well-rounded individuals, which I think we've all.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Some people may not agree, but all three of us have grown up to be Everything from.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: You.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Don't leave your baseball mitt lying around, especially not outside.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: You don't leave it by the front door.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: You put it in the cubby, where it belongs.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: You pick up your bike, you put it in the garage.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: When I say the law needs to be mowed on Wednesday, I expect it to be mowed by the time I get home on Wednesday, because I'm not forcing you to have a job when you're 13.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: And then, looking back on the sacrifices that my parents made my dad leaving the house at 5.45 some mornings to get to the hospital he's a podiatrist by trade to perform surgery, to see patients, to do all that stuff to provide for us.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: My mom, similarly waking up at 5.30 in the morning as we got a little bit older to drive us to practice before school or to go see a coach or trainer or whatever it was.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: That's the kind of stuff that I carry with me today.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping to instill that on my three kids half as good as they did.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Love it, ma'am Was I know mama dad's still with us?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay great 72 and 69 healthy.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: They are my kids best friends, all of their grandkids best friends.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: They are wonderful for our family.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: They still have the house that we well, it's a few doors down from the house we grew up in, but they've been on the same block for the last 40 plus years and we are fortunate to be able to spend a ton of time with them.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Is dad still working?
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: He is.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: We celebrated this weekend.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: It was his last Friday ever working.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: He is now going down to three days a week and then he casually well, I may flex in a Friday or two.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, there it is, but yeah, he loves what he does, he's very good at it and the hospitals keep asking him to stay on to train their new people and to help span the gap of patients that they need to be seen.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: So he's still doing it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: And mama still works part time.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: What does she do?
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: She works a few things.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Her friends and this is when I was in high school now so 20 plus years ago started a thing called the junk market back in the day and they still to this day rent out a huge conference hall in the metro area here and it's called junk bonanza.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: So she's always had like and it's.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: You know, people who repurpose things and remodel things and refurbish all kinds of items from all over the country come in for that.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I believe it's twice a year and then she does some part time work for General Mills, who's located here in Minneapolis area.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: You mentioned accountability and responsibility.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Those are like two big words I've talked to a lot of dads about.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: You know there's sometimes it's just like a corporate.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: You know the corporate values.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Those are words on a wall or they're words that really mean something.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: So I'd love to understand, maybe talk about a few stories of if as I ask is that they maybe come to mind on where you truly learned what accountability meant and what responsibility meant.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I brought up the baseball glove example Because, like I said, as a child I may have thought it was way overboard and by today's standards probably would be considered way overboard, but I left my baseball glove out one night.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: It rained.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I woke up the next morning my dad, standing at the kitchen counter with my wet baseball glove on the counter, opened up our garbage through the baseball glove and the garbage and he's like it's going to be really tough for you to play baseball without a glove, isn't?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: It Brought me to practice that night without a glove.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Go get them, let's see what you got.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: You know, at the time I'm like what a jerk.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: You know why is he doing this to me?
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: But learning that lesson that powerfully made sure that I applied it to everything else that I did, or everything else that was in my possession, you know.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: So from that day on, it was the baseball glove gets put up.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: The, you know, when we're done playing hockey, all the equipment gets put away.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: If it's mowing the lawn, I mow the lawn, I finish mowing the lawn to a high standard and then I make sure the lawn mower gets all the way back into the shed where it belongs.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: As we got older, you know you are given the responsibility and the luxury of having your own car to drive.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: It stays clean.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: You lock the doors when you're not using it.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: You don't, you know, jump it off of things because you're feeling like you want to have some fun with your friends, that kind of stuff.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: It's weird to look back on it now and see that, but that's, I think, the most present one.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: The other ones were the you know a value to things to say you want me to fill.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: You know, give you money for gas.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I need the shed painted.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: As soon as the shed is painted, you'll have money for gas Both an incentive and a you know, a sense of accountability of like we need to do things around this house in order for it to continue running.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I feel spoiled that I got to use those as examples, not.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: My parents needed help making ends meet, and so I had to get a job to help put food on the table.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: You're unbelievably spoiled in that regard.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Well, it's a blessing and a curse to be your dad's obviously a very successful guy, you know you, don't you want to.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: You want to celebrate the blessings that he's earned, to be able to share him with the family.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: But then the other thing is but you don't want to make it too easy for kids.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: You know you and your role.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I would think you're going down a similar path.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: You know I've been fortunate in my journey that you know, my kids have taken more playing trips than I ever took and I grew up I took one, you know, and camping was our vacations and so, but I don't want my kids to feel guilty for the journey.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I went on to work, work, my work, my ass off, right.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: But the same point too is, you know, whether it's making your bed or like.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I love the, the story your dad about your dad and the.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: The little things matter and I sometimes were.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: We're very, you know, I would say, strict on that type of stuff too, but it's like it's not because we're going to, we want to be a holes to you guys, but it's like we're teaching you that you're going to have to be coached in life.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: You're going to teach you that there's is accountability, for that's why bosses say, hey, show up at eight, leave at five, or whatever your hours are, it's not like you know.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: I think you know every, every generation probably gets said, oh, they're not, they're soft kind of like you know, they don't, they don't, they're entitled.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Well, every generation probably says that and like as we're probably the older guys now, it's saying this about the other generation.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: But I think it's important that these, those words are taught.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: And you know, then we have to probably do them in different ways because so much has changed through technology and devices, and but I love that those came to mind for you.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Another huge one, that he.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: He's very proud and protective of our last name and it's, you know, a fairly uncommon one.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: I don't think it sounds or looks all that unique, but it's not.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: There aren't many, very many, stand us in the.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: United States, and so he would.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Anytime we'd be doing something that was not within the you know idea of what.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: You can.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Change your last name, then go be a, an Anderson or a Smith or somebody where you can blend in because you're not going to be a stand up.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: If you act like that and that was as you got older you're like oh, he did everything he could to make a name for himself and to bring pride to that name, and he wasn't joke around about the seriousness of that.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's like again looking back as an adult.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: You're like oh that makes way more sense now as kids.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: really, one of my best buddies last day was Anderson.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I'll go butte them like that'd be cool.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: But as an adult, anderson got a ring to it.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: That makes sense.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Have you shared?
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: So one of the before I asked the last question, knowing what you just talked about now, I guess maybe tell me the last time you thought about this stuff.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Interestingly enough, not too long ago it was right around the time when I got promoted to Chief Revenue Officer and I kind of had this watershed moment, if you will thinking about everything my wife and I have accomplished, Kind of the.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: We had just had our son.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: We were fortunate enough to spend a couple of weeks in Florida at the end of her maternity leave with our family of five and with her parents, who have a home down there, and it was just one of those moments where I was like this is all the stuff my parents were teaching us about the pride that I have right now.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Kind of looking back on, like for me, I'm in a position where I'm higher up than I ever imagined possible, if I'm being realistic, five years ago, let alone 10, 15, 20 years ago, and so kind of that hit really hard and looking back on all of that stuff made me come to terms with it and I sent my parents a long message while we were in Florida, specific to that of.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there were times where you were worried I'd be living under a bridge.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Thankfully, you guys instilled some pretty good characteristics and some work ethic in me.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: That has allowed me to accomplish something that I didn't necessarily think was realistic.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Incredibly thankful that they did, because without it there's no chance it would have been realistic.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I think having kids man really makes you reckon with all the good, bad and ugly that you've dealt with.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Have you shared besides the message you sent to them?
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Have you talked about it since?
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Were they surprised by the message or grateful?
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we talked about it.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Obviously it was intended to draw out a conversation.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: We had a nice talk about it In our family, traditional Irish Catholic family, where it's like emotions and emotional subjects tend to get kind of railroaded a bit for more serious and easier on the eyes, if you will.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: A lot less crying involved, but it was good to have that put out into the atmosphere so that we had the conversation.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: My dad kind of joked.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: He's like jeez, I didn't realize.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Some of the things I was doing landed so hard with you guys growing up.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: It's good that they did reminding him it was OK.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: It's good that you did those things, because both my brothers, we all countless stories of childhood.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Remember when he made me lock home from practice.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Now we look back on him and laugh.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: And they were did you ever do it again?
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Of course not.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not an idiot.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: So yeah we were able to have a great conversation about it.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: We were able to talk through some of the lighter hearted stuff about that.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: Hello everybody.
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: In fact, beeline's history of first-to-market innovations have become today's industry standards.
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: I get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: And I say this it's simple.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: The guy flat out gets it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: Relationships matter.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: In fact, his book when the Relationship and Not the Deal has become required reading for all new members of the global relationship management team.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn, and if you don't know Casey Jaycox, go to kcjcoxcom and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: Love it, I love it.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: That's, I mean, one of the things that's been fun to talk to.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: So many dads we're over 200 now, which is crazy to think that when we started this thing, my shout out to my boy, Tiny UNes he's got a lot of love in this because he's the one that helped me get this thing off the ground.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: I never thought it's still going and I never would have thought that, even though the consulting work I'm doing I would have never would have crossed over to the podcast and it just never would have made never.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: But now it makes all the sense because it allows me to get to know people better and allows companies to learn more about their executives or their employees or whatever role you play.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: But most importantly, I think it gets us dads to embrace vulnerability and talking about things that back in World War II, your grandpa I'm guessing that most grandpa's back then men didn't want to talk about this stuff and I think it's such a gift we get to give our kids to talk about, just talk about feelings and fears and struggles.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: And because there's millions of dads out there doing their best to provide structure for their family, keep their kids out of jail, be a positive example, and I don't have it figured out.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I make mistakes every day, but I think if we, as dads, can lean in to what we're doing, show gratitude, like Kevin did, to his parents, slowing down, so we can go faster as a dad slowing down to really maybe talk to a buddy that you're like hey man, you're doing this better than I am.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: How did you do that?
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: How did you handle that conversation?
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: And I think it just allows us because you don't need a microphone to have a conversation with one of your buddies like Kevin are doing right now.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: But I would encourage if there's what Kevin just shared, inspired you either pick up the phone, call your parents.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: I don't get to call my dad anymore.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: He passed away December 29, 2021.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: So I don't have that opportunity anymore.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Thankfully, I did get to say a lot of things to him before he passed.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: My mom's still with us, but I don't know.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: I love that you did it, I love that you thought about the message and what a cool moment for your dad and mom to hear Just that they're their son, Because my mom used to joke.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: My mom called my high school football coach and said he's a dipshit, he's not going to make it.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm telling you cheeky, but that was pretty much the summary and my coach was like he's fine, he's going to be just right, Just trust me.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: And I was like he is.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I hate school.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: How am I going to do this?
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I joked about the living under a bridge comment, my dad was like if you keep doing what you're doing, you might end up under a bridge, and so when I sent them the message, I was like a call out to that and he was like man, I want to touch on the piece that you just said about not having a chance to still have those conversations with your dad.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: You never know.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I mean to your point.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Thankfully you had time.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: You got to say kind of a long goodbye, if you will.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: But how many guys in our position wake up to a phone call of, hey, you need to come home.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's tough man and we all go eventually, so I'd rather be in the moment as best I can, stay present as best I can as you think about your journey.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: You got young ones.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: You're going to be obviously you and your wife.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: You're on the zone defense.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: It'd be tough to play a man Against that squad.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: But besides I'm guessing, accountability, besides responsibility talk about the themes that are going to be most important to you and your family that you've taken from your parents or your experiences in life so far.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, listening to other episodes, you've had go to the Marks, mark Biscoe and Mark Smith.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: A lot of what they talked about.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Mark Smith had a great piece about where he kept going on and it was all peas, the peas of parenting, present patient proud.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I'd like to add two, maybe three, to it which are not being afraid to be playful, perceptive and put it all in perspective.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Say it again, playful, playful and perceptive.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: And to put it all in perspective, Love that.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: And I take the first part playful and perceptive kind of from the Mr Rogers mentality.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Get down on your kids level, whisper in their ear what's bothering you.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Try to reckon with the fact that for me, a five-year-old and a three-year-old are overwhelmed by the world and you telling them no is the equivalent of somebody calling me and telling me my dad passed away today.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: It's earth-shattering.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: And so getting on their level, getting down on your hands and knees on the floor with them, understanding that this is what's most important to them, they don't care about the meeting that went horribly wrong.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: They don't care about the customers you lost.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: They care that dad's down on the floor playing.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: You know, for my kids it's mini hockey and Barbies.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: You know that's that stuff.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: And then, keeping all in perspective, the biggest thing for me is not putting expectations on them.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: I grew up in a competitive sports world.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I have tons of friends that are dealing with it right now or have grown up in it and have reached the pinnacles of their sports.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Like the expectation that anyone is going to make it as something in sports is so unrealistic that it's laughable, and you and I had a.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: One of my favorite conversations to date about it related to your son's golf journey, when you were saying he had a bad round.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: He shot 79.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: He was so pissed he was let down and I was like 79.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: And that's top 5% of golfers in history break 80.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: And then you talked about some of his better rounds where he's shot 69, broken par.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: I think I talked to you about half of percent of golfers who ever tee up the ball shoot a score that good, like to put it.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: When you put that in perspective and then you remember the point of playing golf is to make sure that you know you build character and that you're a good human being, call penalties on yourself and you shoot the best score you can, no matter if you made a 10 on the previous hole, like that's the stuff that matters.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: Nobody is Tiger Woods.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: Tiger Woods wasn't Tiger Woods.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: So the putting in perspective and not putting those expectations on my kids is something I hope I can do.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I'm going to struggle with it and at times I will fail, but that is.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: That's what I think about.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: That's a good one, dude.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of parents I see I was probably guilty of it too, but I see a lot of kids struggle with that, like they're the mom or dad thinks Billy or Susie is going to be the next on a Kassadin Stam or you know, you know drummer from Motley Crew.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: It's like no, they're not.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: And right, I think it's so important and it's funny you said that made me think of the right before my son left today for his golf tournament, I said bud, and he kind of we played yesterday.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: He kind of struggled, he's kind of put.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I could see he's putting pressure on himself because he's a, he's a high school, he'll be a high school senior, he's already got some interest from colleges.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: He's, he's, you know he's, he's, he's feeling like I'm, like golf is hard enough.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: You put pressure in yourself.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: It's going to be that hard.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: All you can control is your, your mindset, up until the ball is struck and then it's out of your control.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: You know, and I said, because I, I was, I was unable to go watch them today, which I'm bummed, I said whether you shoot 65 or 142, I don't care, I truly don't care.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Now do I want you to score well, 1000%.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to love you the same.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: The sun's going to come up tomorrow and as long as you did your best, you were respectful, you were fun to play with, you cheered other guys on when they were succeeding, you're going to win in life in the long run.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Dude, and it was funny, he's like thanks, dad.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: And then he, he was warm up.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: He texted me.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: He's like damn, it's kind of chilly.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: I hear it's blown like 20 with a smiley face and all I said it's when it's breezy, swing easy and tempo and go have fun.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Golf is fun.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: That's all you can do and you know, think about you.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: I said you're one of 30 kids that are playing this thing.
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: Let's celebrate that, I mean in our world.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Take the top 30 sales people in your city, let alone state country, whatever it is.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Top 30 sales people in your city are doing so well that it's ridiculous.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Hi, I'm Marcy Stout, CEO and co-founder of Rebel Coach, a consulting and coaching company dedicated to cultivating leadership, building cohesive teams and fostering well-being in the workplace.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: At Rebel Coach, collaboration is one of our core principles, which is why I'm excited that KCJ Cox and I are partnering together to host a monthly mastermind called the intentional sales leader mastermind, where leaders can share ideas, exchange insights and gain valuable knowledge from industry experts.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: It's our promise to you that joining our mastermind will provide practical insights on how to use curiosity and humility to build relationships while exceeding revenue expectations.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: We'll also teach techniques so you can stay committed to priorities like family health and, quite frankly, things that bring daily joy.
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: You can learn more about me and my work at rebelcoachcom and, if you want to work with us and other sales leaders who are committed to results both personally and professionally, visit kcjcoxcom for more information on the intentional sales leader mastermind.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: Now let's get back to the podcast.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: Or top 30 accountants or lawyers or doctors.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Be one of those, but be a good human while you're doing it.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: Take the lessons you learn when you struggle to golf to those professions.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: And I know we've talked about this before.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: I live in a very prominent hockey area.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Minnesota breeds a lot of high level hockey players.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: It's part of the community here, much like football in Texas, and so there's a number of guys around who have historical careers, who are celebrities in that world, if you will, because they were great athletes once or still are.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: And I want my kids to see that, to know that it is if lightning strikes.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's possible.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Just like a kid growing up in Pacific Palisades realizes it's possible to be a movie star because their next door neighbor is Tom Cruise.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I want them to see that yes, it's real.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: But as I you know one of my very good friends I might risk my friendship in saying he's one of my best friends had a 12, 12 year NHL career, won a Stanley Cup, you know, reached every pinnacle you can in the sport of hockey.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: And the stat that I know I've shared with you and loved, like he said it best and put it all in perspective, I said, kevin, no one makes it.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I'm one of 5,500 men in the history of the world who have played more than three years in the NHL.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: Wow, the NHL has been around for 126 years.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I believe in that realm.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Wow, 5,500 doctors, lawyers, accountants, salespeople, marketing executives of course, every 5,500 of every single one of those professions, in any state, is doing just as well, if not better, than any hockey player.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Granted, they don't have publicity, they're not well, some of them do, but it's okay.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: I hope that you played those sports and that you learned those lessons, that you applied them to the rest of your life, because no one makes it.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: And the fact, like for you, you were a Division I football player.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: I'm getting.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Division I.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: You're a freak of freaks.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: In terms of the people who make it to Division I, sports are exceedingly few, but you consider the guys your age that played NFL quarterback.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: There's only 30 of them, right?
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: No, not many.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: So that's the perspective that I hope to bring to my kids is I want you to be the best you could possibly be and I will spend my last dollar to pay for anything that you are passionate about, but I'm not signing you up for things you don't want to do and I'm not waking you up at 4am if you don't want to get up to chase my dream.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: Stutson so important.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: It was Division II for the record people scoring a home.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: I can't take credit for that.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: I appreciate the love.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: I mean I could lie and just you know, but that'd be like the balls out of balance it's.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I got to go back to T, you know.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean I sometimes think about that and you know one thing and you can see it behind me is the word believe me, most people can't, but that's a word I'm.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: I learned that.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: I would say I learned a massive passion for that word at age 41.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: I'm a little older than that now Because in anything we do, we should believe what we do matters.
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: Whether your garbage can, a librarian, a barista, a bartender, a football player, I don't care what you do.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: If you don't believe what you do matters, you're already not going to be your best.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: And so, like I teach that to sales teams and leaders and then I also talk to my kids a lot about it, a lot.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: I'm always like I wish.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: When I was 12 or 13, I remember getting cut as a seventh grader on the eighth grade baseball team and it became down to.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: I had just a doubt of not believing in myself.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: Like I think I'll make it and everybody else.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: I was talking about the way I'm making it.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, shit, well, someone's going to get cut.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Who's it going to be?
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Well, it was me.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Same thing in college, you know, I was lucky to be almost a three year starter, played behind John Kittner my first two years, who played NFL for 17 years.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: It was not a doubt in his mind he was playing the NFL, not a doubt, and I'm like you're.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: But we're in a division.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Who's going to?
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Who's going to work?
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: How are you going to?
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: How are they going to find you?
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: They found him, mike Riley, who played after I left.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: He was in the gray cup.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: He won a gray cup, he won the MVP of the gray cup.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: He spent, he sniffed the NFL with Green Bay and Pittsburgh, but he played in the CFL for, like I want to say, 12, 13 years, huge career.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: But it was just a level of competitiveness and I think, the more I, as my wife, our goal is just to teach our kids to compete.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: You know the thing you don't.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: As a basketball player, I tell my daughter you don't have control your height.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: You're five, three, most five.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: Three girls aren't playing.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: She's led it as a freshman.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: She's feisty, she's.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: I get inspired by her way she plays defense and in the scrappy, and that's that's a choice.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: You're choosing to do that, no one.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: And so like we, just those are things as parents we I like to talk about is like celebrating the things.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: You know, my buddy, steve, his, his son right, one of my son's best friends.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: He's going to actually, you know, hampshire to play hockey on an academy this fall and I mean his name is Riley.
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: He's like he's gonna play in the NHL in his mind.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: And Steve's like why would I tell him?
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: No, I'm like I love it, dude.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: He just I mean now he's not saying I expect you to go beat up when you're in Wayne Gretzky.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: He's like, just, dude, dream big, dream as big as you can until they won't let you play anymore, and then dream big about something else.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: As long as it's their dream correct, I guess is my important piece to that 100%.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: I will go to the ends of the earth to support my kids dreams.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: So I'm not going to make my dream theirs.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: No, so important.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: It's such a good reminder for everybody at home to be, to listening to.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: As you think about, as we get ready to kind of wrap in over in showing time, this conversation, I go forever.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: As you think about an area your dad game that I knew, probably heard this before I was like ask about it because I think it just relates us as dads of you know, because the dad home might say, well, I'm not a chief revenue officer, how, how do I relate to you?
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Well, guess what our kids, like Kevin said, could give two shits what dad's doing.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: But we all have our gaps.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: You know one thing I struggle with that.
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: I have to be very focused on his patience as a competitive person and sometimes expectations around Communicating, like if I could see a family event going a certain way.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Am I setting clear expectations?
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Are they realistic?
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Are they unrealistic?
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know, you know.
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: So I've had to learn to always slow down, so hopefully me going first helps make the easier on you as a guest.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: But as you think about your dad game, what would be an area that you or you know might not be where you want to want it to be right now, that might resonate with other dads at home that you're working hard to just always improve on a great question and I would say you know the list is pretty exhaustive.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: But I mean, I go to those of you listening at home can't see what I'm doing right now, but I'm peeling this off my computer, which I keep here every day, which is Casey's five golden rules from his book.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: It's actually six golden rules, but that is something that I look at every single morning when I log in and every night when I log off.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: And Three of them hit very close to home with being a dad Don't just here, actively listen.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: Similarly with my kids don't just talk, make sure they actually understand what you're asking them to do and it's as clear as day to adults say I need you to stop doing that, please.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: I need you to stop doing that.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: I need you to stop doing that until you reach the boiling point where you want to.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: You know, yell at the top of your lungs at a five or a three-year-old.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Stop doing that.
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: And I fail it at at least once a week.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: But it's, it's similar, it's almost identical to don't just here, actively listen.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: It's actively teach them why you need them to stop doing that or want them to stop doing that.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Actively get involved in what your kids are doing.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Don't just sit in the backyard in a chair with your beer cracked saying, yeah, go ahead, honey, go play, kick the ball around.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Get on your hands and knees and kick the ball around with your five-year-old and three-year-old.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Actively get involved in their lives.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: It ends up being way more fun for the dad and your kid has ten times more fun and engagement.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Because, as I said, my kids don't care what I do for a living.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: They don't care how much money I make.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: They don't care what's stressing me out.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: They care that dad kicked the ball around To leaving your ego at the door.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: It applies just as much to your kids as it does to your Co-workers, to the people that report to you if you're an entrepreneur, to your employees, especially to your customers.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Your kids are your most important customers you will ever have.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Make sure they have the best experience they could possibly have in that For me, for their lives.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: I want them to look back, like I look back on my childhood, with my dad as my hero, and my mom is my inspiration of.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: They were the best customer service reps I could have possibly had.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: They made sure every one of my passions was followed.
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: When I slipped up as a customer, they made sure to correct course for me.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: All of those things.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Remove yourself from the situation entirely and serve your kids like you'd serve your best customer.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: And Then your final one success.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: Success takes time.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: Be patient and persistent.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Your little kids aren't gonna learn anything the first time.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: They're not gonna learn it the sixth time.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: They might not learn at the 60th time, but the more persistent you are and the more patient you are, they will learn it and then, when you watch them, apply it in real life.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: It is the most rewarding thing you will ever experience and for all of you parents out there Casey's Smiling and nodding his head right now thinking of the ways in which his kids have Implemented something he has taught them it is the most rewarding thing you could ever possibly experience.
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: So that is humbling.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: My man and I did not people scoring home did not know he was gonna say that, did not know.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: I did not pay him to say that.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm super grateful that you said that because I'd say, man, when I, when I wrote the book, I did not Write it, for I mean it says on the cover of six common sense, let's common sense, you know, six common sense strategies to succeed in life and business.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: When I wrote it I was writing for salespeople, but I've learned it's more about life, like just do the right thing to help people.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: And you know when I my son actually funny, my son.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: I'll tell the quick story real quick.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: I know it's, but yeah, I think you'll appreciate it.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: He was catting in another event and he met one of our other members and Get to know him and I just and writer told me when he goes, daddy got to this guy.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: I thought questions and he loved that I love Seahawks and he loves Seahawks and he has season tickets.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: He said I can go to a game.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, yeah, right, there's no way it's gonna happen.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: And I I saw that's awesome but cool, didn't think anything of it.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I met that guy this weekend, this past weekend, I was like, oh, I think my son was catting for you guys.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, writers, great, goes, make sure he falls up me.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I want to get him tickets.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I was like you got to be shitting me.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: This really gonna happen.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Now I hope I get picked by writer.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: We didn't take a buddy, but when I, when I talk to him, he goes quote dad, I'm winning the relationship and I damn near fell over.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, now Sometimes my buddies will give me a hard time about that, like, hey, wait a minute, you know, but I could take it all day long because in the end it's just.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: You know, us guys, being guys, joke around, sure, but I know it's the right thing, it's winning people, right, and I love that.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: You said that, man, and I appreciate you saying it.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, before we get some fun into lighting around, if you were to summarize everything that we have talked about, that dad's a home can, can, can take from our conversation to you know, as maybe two or three things that come up come to mind that dad's can work on, become that ultimate leader or quarterback of their household, kev, tell me what comes to mind for you being there.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: I Mean there's a line in the series shameless I think it's on HBO, netflix, what?
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: But they're, you know, in the worst area of Chicago and they're in the poorest neighborhood.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: And Kevin, that also the characters name and shameless Gets asked by one of the kids I'm about to have a kid, what am I gonna do?
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: He just looks at him, dead pan, and says just love him, man, the rest takes care of itself.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I just just love your kids the way you would want to be loved, have somebody that you know has your back, is going to take care of you and be as present as you can.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: It's not easy.
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: I fail at it all the time.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: But, as you mentioned, not just Quantity of time but quality of time, even if you only have 15 minutes a day because You've got to be the first one at the office and you're working some longer ruling days right now and you can only be home for bedtime, be home for bedtime.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: Read a book.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: Don't come in and scroll on your phone because you didn't get a chance to look at social media.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: That day, social media will wait.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: Put the book you know.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Read that book to your kid.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Be there, I mean, it's Like I said my.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: My dad sacrificed a lot for us growing up, left the house at 545 in the morning a lot of times, didn't get home until after dark.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Every morning he made us breakfast.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Every night, before he went to sleep he was in there reading books with us.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: That's the stuff that matters.
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: Love it goal dude.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: So good, I learned a ton as I, as I shared you before, we'd have two pages of notes notes which I do If people want to learn before we're gonna.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure we talk about loan oak and temp work so people want to learn more about you and your business and and kind of what you guys are, what you guys are up to talk about, how they can connect with you and talk about what temp works and loan oak do, loan, loan oak, payroll do.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I encourage people to connect with me via LinkedIn.
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: That's probably the easiest and best way to get ahold of me.
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: Believe my email and phone number are published in there.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: If not, connect with me, I'll connect with anyone.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: Temp works software is a software company that creates software for staffing companies, primarily in the light industrial space, but we have tools and modules to serve Just about every space in staffing.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: Loan, oak payroll is our services side of the business.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: We offer everything from payroll processing, tax processing and payments to payroll funding, which is factoring by another name, and that is basically from soup to nuts, beginning to end, everything you could possibly need as a staffing company To help your business be more efficient and effective.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: Love it, love it.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: We'll make sure both those are linked to In the show notes.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: I've been, as I mentioned in the beginning interview.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: I've been grateful enough to meet a lot of people at Temp Works, fantastic culture.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I spoke at one of their events that their customers are like I don't know 200 people there.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: I Was called the works.
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: If you haven't know what that is, check it out.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: That you would every year.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: And it's the the, just the feeling their customers had for the team at Temp Works and loan oak payroll.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: You could, just you could see it, you could feel it and which is what I am grateful to our paths across and we're obviously it stayed in touch to which even better.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: So make sure everybody's linked.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: Make sure if he kevs, not just saying this, if you want to learn more about him, connect with them.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: You won't regret it.
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: He's a smart guy.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: He's obviously shared that very, very Through example in our conversation today.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: But now it's time to challenge him With the lightning round.
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: My my goal is to ask random questions.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: I have none of these prep paired.
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: You're gonna see how I have a screw loose and taking too many hits in college playing quarterback not bong hits, but football hits, your job is to answer them as quick as you can.
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: My job is to hopefully get a giggle out of you.
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: Are you ready?
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false, you're the only hockey player in the state of Minnesota history to score seven goals from the opposite blue line.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, there's a laugh.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: True, I win, true or false.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Your favorite song is dolly part nine to five.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: False okay, I'm passionate about music.
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, tell me the, tell me what.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: What instrument would you play if we started a band?
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: guitar or piano.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: I would love to play the piano.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: I want to be able to play walking a Memphis.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: Great song yeah and I couldn't agree more, like if you could sit down in a Mall or something and just hammer out walking in Memphis on repeat.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Instant, yeah, instant gratification, yeah, instant, yet hundred percent.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: If you were to go on vacation right now, where are you and your wife going?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Cabo.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love Cabo.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: True or false, I've danced in a cage in Cabo.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: True, that's true story.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: When K4 spot Hall Canyon back in June of 2004, I my wife didn't believe me.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I was gonna do it and I got up in the cage and it went elevated.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: And then there I was and it was.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Can't be able to said that, but it is Holy fuck, your I Was.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: I would leather pants and a half shirt, cappy, how about that visual?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: If there were to be a, if there were to be a book written up, actually take it back.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: Tell me the last book you read.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: Hidden genius it's actually on my desk.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: There you go, hidden genius.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title overachieving, underachiever, god I love that.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, now people know where this is going.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: We're.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: We're gonna cast this into a movie because everybody's fighting for it Hulu, netflix, they all want it and I need to know who is going to star you.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: Which Hollywood actor is gonna start you in this critically acclaimed Gem that's gonna be shown everywhere?
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: Is KC J Cox not taking acting roles at this?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: time he's not taking active roles.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: You can't yeah, let's check, man.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: I would love to flatter myself and say Jason Statham.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, I do it.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: This is your.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: You get your journey, do you?
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: do it.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll go, jason Statham.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: There we go.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: If there was to be a dream, it's you and three other golfers who's gonna be in the dream for some.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: My dad, my two brothers boom, easy, easy.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: And Last question Tell me two words that describe your wife.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: Great question.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: Those aren't the two words, right?
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: Relentless persistence, I'd like to say.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: Those words have not been used, so you've been unique and uncommon.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: They mean so many things which I love, but I could see why those two words would be bring love, success, grit To positivity, to any, to anything in life.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: So I love those words.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: Um, lightning rounds over, we'll call it tie.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: I giggled, you giggled.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: It's been so much fun learning about you, the impact your parents had on you, how you're taking those Passionate Examples and stories to become that, that ultimate leader.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Your, your home, kevin.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: Love your vulnerability is shared areas where, hey, hey, you don't have us all figured out, near, do I need it as any dad, but I think we can kind of build this community together.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: Um, knowing that there's other dads out there working hard to to, you know, be that that leader like your pops was For you and my pops was for me.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: I think we're all going to make this a better world in place to live.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: I want to give a huge shout out to latitude, sick effort, your continued support of the sponsor.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: Um, I've had, I've had the opportunity to go up there and visit this island in sick, alaska.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: It is fantastic if you guys, if anybody's a fisherman and wants to experience Alaska and see like a thousand eagles.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Uh, go up there if you want, if, like hot springs, go up there and and visit them.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: Assam and his team do just a great job.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: Um, they blew me away, um, and I would highly recommend you guys go up there check them out.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: So go to latitude, sickacom.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: This journey's come to an end.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: I want to thank you again, brother, for for uh, for taking the time to talk to me on a busy day, but I know I'm excited for people to learn more about you and um, thanks again for me to guess on today's quarterback deck yes, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: This was fantastic.