Latest / Stories That Live In Us / A National TV Crew Showed Up At My House: Discovering a Lost Legacy (with Melissa Stafford) | Ep 121

Transcript

A National TV Crew Showed Up At My House: Discovering a Lost Legacy (with Melissa Stafford) | Ep 121 · Stories That Live In Us

• 0:00
  Crista Cowan: I find it really interesting when someone is so close with their immediate family but knows very little about their family tree.
• 0:09
  Crista Cowan: My guest today learned more about her family tree in a really unusual way.
• 0:15
  Crista Cowan: And it involves ancestry and good morning America.
• 0:19
  Crista Cowan: Enjoy my conversation with Melissa Stafford.
• 0:23
  Crista Cowan: Hi, I'm Crista Cowan, and this is the podcast where telling your family stories can help create a deeply connected family.
• 0:32
  Crista Cowan: Welcome to Stories That Live In Us.
• 0:35
  Crista Cowan: Melissa, thank you so much for joining me.
• 0:41
  Crista Cowan: I'm so excited to have this conversation with you.
• 0:43
  Crista Cowan: My pleasure.
• 0:44
  Crista Cowan: Thank you for having me.
• 0:46
  Crista Cowan: Of course.
• 0:47
  Crista Cowan: Well, I would just love to hear about growing up in Massachusetts and what that was like.
• 0:53
  Melissa Stafford: You know, I've thought a lot about that in the last few months because I think I take for granted living here.
• 1:00
  Melissa Stafford: I was born and raised in this area.
• 1:03
  Melissa Stafford: And so not traveling a whole lot growing up, you really just kind of assume that all these really cool historic places are just the neighborhood.
• 1:11
  Melissa Stafford: And you kind of grow up there thinking, oh, you know, there's the Freedom Trail, Bunker Hill, the Statehouse, the Capitol, like it's just kind of the backdrop of your growing up.
• 1:20
  Melissa Stafford: So it really didn't seem all that unique to me.
• 1:25
  Melissa Stafford: Um, but as I've gotten older and have learned more about my very awesome lineage, it's kind of taken on a new persona with how I'm viewing things, you know, kind of around the city and and even just around my town, because I didn't know that I was really kind of embedded in this town the way I am.
• 1:45
  Melissa Stafford: So it's it's been very eye-opening.
• 1:47
  Crista Cowan: Wow, I love that.
• 1:48
  Crista Cowan: And I'm excited for our listeners and viewers to hear that story.
• 1:52
  Crista Cowan: Um, but tell me a little bit about your family of origin.
• 1:56
  Crista Cowan: Like, did you grow up with both parents?
• 1:59
  Crista Cowan: Do you have siblings?
• 2:00
  Crista Cowan: What did that look like?
• 2:02
  Melissa Stafford: I was born in the early 70s, which was a wonderful time from music and fun and the best soundtracks, I think, are from the 70s and 80s.
• 2:12
  Melissa Stafford: So I grew up, you know, that was the backdrop of my growing up.
• 2:15
  Melissa Stafford: Um, my parents were young and we had a great time.
• 2:20
  Melissa Stafford: I have one sister who is 10 years younger than me.
• 2:24
  Melissa Stafford: So there's quite a big gap there and not a lot in common growing up with a 10-year difference.
• 2:30
  Melissa Stafford: But as we got older, that gap got a lot smaller and we're very close.
• 2:34
  Melissa Stafford: And having young parents too has made us an even closer family, you know, because we all kind of just do everything together.
• 2:41
  Melissa Stafford: So it's it's been wonderful.
• 2:43
  Melissa Stafford: Lots of cousins, lots of aunts.
• 2:45
  Melissa Stafford: Um, I have one grandmother who's still living.
• 2:47
  Melissa Stafford: She just turned 97, my Italian grandmother.
• 2:50
  Melissa Stafford: So Nana Eve, she's she's amazing.
• 2:53
  Melissa Stafford: So I'm very, very fortunate to have such a huge family.
• 2:57
  Crista Cowan: That is amazing.
• 2:58
  Crista Cowan: So, did you know all four grandparents or just some of them?
• 3:04
  Melissa Stafford: I knew three out of the four.
• 3:07
  Melissa Stafford: The fourth one, um, so my mother's parents divorced when I was younger.
• 3:11
  Melissa Stafford: So I I remember him, um, but did not have really much of a relationship.
• 3:16
  Melissa Stafford: He they got divorced and he moved to Florida.
• 3:20
  Melissa Stafford: And so that's kind of where the the break kind of happened, where I didn't really know much more about the family from there.
• 3:26
  Melissa Stafford: Then is it your dad's side that's Italian?
• 3:29
  Melissa Stafford: It's my dad's side that's Italian, yes.
• 3:32
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 3:32
  Crista Cowan: And how how far from the city did you grow up?
• 3:36
  Melissa Stafford: I grew up in Hyde Park, which is technically part of Boston, um, but it's more of a suburb.
• 3:42
  Melissa Stafford: So right on the outskirts.
• 3:43
  Melissa Stafford: So you can easily get into the city, but you can very much enjoy suburban life and neighborhoods and green grass and um that type of thing.
• 3:51
  Melissa Stafford: But it was very easy in high school.
• 3:53
  Melissa Stafford: I remember saying, should we go this way to go home or this way to head into downtown?
• 3:57
  Melissa Stafford: And a lot of times we hopped on that bus and hopped on the subway with whatever change we could all kind of gather together from the bottoms of our bags and we'd get McDonald's, we'd walk around downtown crossing, and it just was great, wonderful freedom.
• 4:12
  Crista Cowan: Oh, I love that.
• 4:13
  Crista Cowan: That's so fun.
• 4:14
  Crista Cowan: So um, so on your mom's side, you said your grandpa moved to Florida, and then your grandmother, was she close to you there?
• 4:22
  Melissa Stafford: Oh my gosh, my grandmother.
• 4:24
  Melissa Stafford: She was amazing.
• 4:26
  Melissa Stafford: She's a very strong woman and she raised six kids.
• 4:30
  Melissa Stafford: She has a ton of grandkids.
• 4:33
  Melissa Stafford: Well, she's she's gone now, unfortunately, but she had a ton of great grandkids and great-grandkids.
• 4:38
  Melissa Stafford: And my gosh, does she have great grades yet?
• 4:41
  Melissa Stafford: Um, but she was wonderful, always had to have a million kids around her.
• 4:46
  Melissa Stafford: She was a foster mother for decades.
• 4:48
  Melissa Stafford: Wow.
• 4:49
  Melissa Stafford: She was honored in the state as being a foster parent for just decades.
• 4:54
  Melissa Stafford: She was always involved with children.
• 4:55
  Melissa Stafford: So, and I was her first grandchild and granddaughter.
• 4:59
  Melissa Stafford: So I was the queen, and she used to always tell the story about how she was in Virginia when she got the word.
• 5:06
  Melissa Stafford: She had traveled and she was in Virginia, and she immediately dropped what she was doing, got in the car, and drove back to Massachusetts um to see her her first grandbaby.
• 5:15
  Melissa Stafford: So it was, yes, she was just that grandmother that just spoiled you rotten.
• 5:19
  Melissa Stafford: You know, that was that was man.
• 5:21
  Melissa Stafford: Yeah.
• 5:22
  Crista Cowan: I love that that that you have those memories of being so well loved.
• 5:26
  Crista Cowan: I think that's so beautiful in a grandparent-grandchild relationship.
• 5:30
  Melissa Stafford: Yeah, never a question.
• 5:31
  Melissa Stafford: Never a question.
• 5:32
  Melissa Stafford: You just always felt it.
• 5:33
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 5:34
  Crista Cowan: Was she a storyteller at all?
• 5:37
  Melissa Stafford: No, not really.
• 5:38
  Melissa Stafford: Okay.
• 5:39
  Melissa Stafford: Not really.
• 5:39
  Melissa Stafford: But but her traditions kind of lived on um with some of her some, you know, her kids, she would teach them um some of her recipes, which we always laugh because they were not recipes that I ever liked because I'm a very picky, very picky eater.
• 5:55
  Melissa Stafford: And so some of these things I was just yikes, you know, not anything I would I would go near, but it makes me laugh and I remember that, you know.
• 6:02
  Melissa Stafford: So it's even though I didn't like the food, I just enjoy the memory of it and how I used to laugh and, you know, get a little freaked out.
• 6:12
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 6:13
  Crista Cowan: So you're growing up surrounded by family, surrounded by history.
• 6:16
  Crista Cowan: But what did you know about your own family tree?
• 6:21
  Melissa Stafford: Not a whole lot, Krista.
• 6:22
  Melissa Stafford: It was, I had started a family tree years ago, but I had four kids, worked in Boston five days a week, kids had activities, a house to keep, you know, the laundry was never ending.
• 6:35
  Melissa Stafford: I just never got to do those kind of extra little things that weren't really going to change anything for me at that point in time.
• 6:43
  Melissa Stafford: So I really did not know much at all.
• 6:45
  Melissa Stafford: I vaguely remember great-grandparents on the Italian side.
• 6:50
  Melissa Stafford: Um, never met any on the other side.
• 6:53
  Melissa Stafford: So to me, that's kind of where my family tree stopped was with my immediate grandparents and my aunts and uncles and my cousins.
• 6:59
  Melissa Stafford: So I was very fortunate to have that.
• 7:01
  Melissa Stafford: Um that, you know, very loud Italian Christmas Eve, you know?
• 7:05
  Melissa Stafford: New people would c come in to Christmas Eve and they would look so frazzled.
• 7:10
  Melissa Stafford: And I'm like, oh, they don't, they didn't, they have not had that kind of loud holiday yet.
• 7:14
  Melissa Stafford: So um they'll love it.
• 7:16
  Melissa Stafford: They'll love it in the end.
• 7:18
  Melissa Stafford: But I just loved that, you know, house full of people, and we we still do that to this day.
• 7:22
  Melissa Stafford: So now I'm hosting.
• 7:24
  Melissa Stafford: And so I love carrying on that tradition.
• 7:26
  Melissa Stafford: So thankfully I have a husband who enjoys hosting as well.
• 7:29
  Melissa Stafford: So it worked out.
• 7:31
  Crista Cowan: That's fantastic.
• 7:32
  Crista Cowan: So, where did you said you had four kids?
• 7:34
  Crista Cowan: Where did you and your husband raise your family?
• 7:37
  Melissa Stafford: So we um we have a little bit of an interesting story.
• 7:41
  Melissa Stafford: We actually met at karate class.
• 7:43
  Melissa Stafford: So we were both taking karate.
• 7:45
  Melissa Stafford: So my husband had two sons from a previous marriage.
• 7:48
  Melissa Stafford: I had a son previously, and then we had Jackson together, our last son.
• 7:53
  Melissa Stafford: Um, but we met at karate class when our three original kids were taking karate.
• 7:58
  Melissa Stafford: We just we had both independently took karate class as adults and were taking self-defense and we were beating each other up.
• 8:05
  Melissa Stafford: And, you know, it was a wonder, wonderful experience.
• 8:08
  Melissa Stafford: And we became very good friends and ultimately started dating and found love and had Jackson and decided to move to Sharon.
• 8:17
  Melissa Stafford: And that's how we ended up here was, you know, just the schools are great, the town is great, and it was just a wonderful spot to raise kids.
• 8:27
  Melissa Stafford: And so we we bought a house here in Sharon and we beloved it.
• 8:30
  Melissa Stafford: So we moved here about 13 years ago.
• 8:33
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 8:34
  Crista Cowan: And how far is Sharon from the city and in what direction?
• 8:38
  Melissa Stafford: We're in a great spot because people laugh that we're kind of in the woods, but like once you leave the woods, it's really close to any highway.
• 8:46
  Melissa Stafford: You can get to really any highway about 12 minutes in any direction.
• 8:49
  Melissa Stafford: So, and the commuter rail is really close by, so I can hop on the train.
• 8:54
  Melissa Stafford: It's about a 25-minute commuter rail train into Boston.
• 8:57
  Melissa Stafford: So it's um it's very nicely located.
• 8:59
  Melissa Stafford: I can get to Rhode Island, you know, in about 30 minutes.
• 9:02
  Melissa Stafford: I can get to Boston in 30 minutes.
• 9:04
  Melissa Stafford: I can get so it's really a nice, nice spot.
• 9:06
  Melissa Stafford: You can really go anywhere.
• 9:08
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 9:08
  Crista Cowan: Oh, I love that.
• 9:09
  Crista Cowan: That sounds sounds idyllic.
• 9:13
  Melissa Stafford: But growing up in more of a city-esque uh landscape, um, Sharon was a bit rural for me in the beginning.
• 9:21
  Crista Cowan: I bet.
• 9:22
  Melissa Stafford: Very woodsy, very woodsy, and you know, heaven forbid we ran out of milk or something.
• 9:27
  Melissa Stafford: It was like, oh geez, who's going to get some milk?
• 9:30
  Melissa Stafford: You know, would do a rock, paper, scissors, and you know, who's gonna go out at that point?
• 9:34
  Melissa Stafford: Because previously you could just two minutes go grab a gallon of milk, but out here it's you actually have to trek a little bit.
• 9:42
  Crista Cowan: So yeah.
• 9:43
  Crista Cowan: But I understand that there is a particular landmark or statue in in your community that you would pass, and there's some history attached to that that you learn just by living there in Sharon.
• 9:55
  Crista Cowan: Tell me about that.
• 9:57
  Melissa Stafford: Well, if you grew up in Sharon, you always had awareness of certain things around town.
• 10:05
  Melissa Stafford: Not many things, but certain things really stood out.
• 10:08
  Melissa Stafford: Um, one of them is the name Deborah Sampson, who there's a statue of her, there is a street named after her, there's a ball field named after her.
• 10:17
  Melissa Stafford: Um, where she the house she lived in is right centrally located, where she's buried is really close by.
• 10:25
  Melissa Stafford: So if you grew up in Sharon, you did a project on her in third grade.
• 10:30
  Melissa Stafford: You read her book, you wrote a paper, you might have even dressed up in colonial garb.
• 10:35
  Melissa Stafford: So her name is very well known um here in town.
• 10:38
  Melissa Stafford: So anywhere you go in town, there's Deb Sampson something.
• 10:42
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 10:42
  Crista Cowan: So, how old was Jackson when you moved there?
• 10:45
  Crista Cowan: Six months.
• 10:47
  Crista Cowan: Okay, so he grew up knowing all about Deborah Sampson.
• 10:51
  Melissa Stafford: He grew up knowing all about he'd done the project.
• 10:53
  Melissa Stafford: And actually, two out of our three older boys also had been here for third grade.
• 10:58
  Melissa Stafford: So they had done the Deborah Sampson um project as well.
• 11:02
  Melissa Stafford: So all very well versed in Deborah Samson.
• 11:06
  Crista Cowan: Okay, so for for people who have no clue who Deborah Sampson is, can you tell us her story?
• 11:12
  Melissa Stafford: Deborah Sampson, incredible, incredible lady, she decided to dress as a male to join and fight the Revolutionary War and was the first woman to receive a full pension for those efforts.
• 11:27
  Melissa Stafford: And she just kind of was a pioneer and an inspiration to all because she, after all of her experiences, um, she went on to tour, if you will, and talk about her experiences and just inspired many, many, many people and mostly women, pioneer.
• 11:45
  Crista Cowan: And you have to think that during the Revolutionary War, right?
• 11:48
  Crista Cowan: Like a lot of these people are joining as communities into militia groups and companies.
• 11:53
  Crista Cowan: And so people would have known who she was if she tried to join locally.
• 11:57
  Crista Cowan: So was she originally from Sharon?
• 12:00
  Crista Cowan: And is that where she enlisted, or did she have to go elsewhere to enlist?
• 12:03
  Melissa Stafford: She was South Shore.
• 12:04
  Melissa Stafford: She was more South Shore.
• 12:05
  Melissa Stafford: She was not born in Sharon.
• 12:08
  Melissa Stafford: She ended up settling here in Sharon.
• 12:10
  Melissa Stafford: So she definitely had to leave her area to enlist.
• 12:14
  Melissa Stafford: And she was a lefty.
• 12:16
  Melissa Stafford: She was a lefty.
• 12:17
  Melissa Stafford: So signing, not many people were lefties.
• 12:20
  Melissa Stafford: So that was definitely a my son is a lefty.
• 12:23
  Melissa Stafford: So she definitely was a giveaway when she was local signing with her left hand.
• 12:30
  Crista Cowan: Aha.
• 12:30
  Crista Cowan: And so then so she got caught a few times because people knew her or recognized her, but then ultimately she was able to serve.
• 12:40
  Melissa Stafford: She was.
• 12:40
  Melissa Stafford: She joined under the name Robert Shirtlip.
• 12:44
  Melissa Stafford: Okay.
• 12:45
  Melissa Stafford: And she was able to serve.
• 12:46
  Melissa Stafford: And she was injured and she dug that bullet out.
• 12:50
  Melissa Stafford: So she wasn't found out.
• 12:52
  Melissa Stafford: I know only only a very strong woman would do that.
• 12:54
  Melissa Stafford: We get it done.
• 12:55
  Melissa Stafford: Yeah.
• 12:56
  Melissa Stafford: Wow.
• 12:57
  Melissa Stafford: I got shot.
• 12:58
  Melissa Stafford: Let me just get that bullet out and continue on.
• 13:01
  Crista Cowan: Right.
• 13:02
  Crista Cowan: Well, and you think about right, like the circumstances under which these men are fighting, the circumstances under which they are marching and camping and doing all of the things that were involved in the Revolutionary War and what she had to probably have gone through or how she had to have moved through that world in order to keep that hidden for any amount of time.
• 13:25
  Melissa Stafford: It's really quite quite impressive because thankfully she was of a taller stature.
• 13:31
  Melissa Stafford: So I think she was 5'8.
• 13:34
  Crista Cowan: And that's really tall for a woman back then.
• 13:37
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 13:38
  Melissa Stafford: Pretty tall for a woman, exactly.
• 13:39
  Melissa Stafford: So I think that definitely helped her with trying to maintain um a different persona at that time.
• 13:46
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 13:47
  Crista Cowan: And did she have family?
• 13:49
  Crista Cowan: Did she have parents or siblings who knew that she was doing this?
• 13:51
  Crista Cowan: Or was she orphaned?
• 13:53
  Crista Cowan: Like what was her family situation?
• 13:55
  Melissa Stafford: She so her she had parents and a whole gaggle of siblings.
• 14:01
  Melissa Stafford: But the hut the her father, it's kind of undetermined what happened to him.
• 14:05
  Melissa Stafford: They think he was lost at sea, is kind of what the consensus is, but there's no real proof.
• 14:11
  Melissa Stafford: Um, they think he was lost at sea and they had no money.
• 14:15
  Melissa Stafford: They were very much in poverty.
• 14:18
  Melissa Stafford: And so the family ended up kind of scattering, and she went to work for family.
• 14:23
  Melissa Stafford: She was indentured for a while.
• 14:25
  Melissa Stafford: And ultimately, when she was done with that, she was like, What do I do now?
• 14:31
  Crista Cowan: Was she able to serve through the duration of the war, or did she get caught at some point before the war ended?
• 14:37
  Melissa Stafford: She got caught before the war ended, but it was because she ended up with an infection, but she was honorably discharged.
• 14:43
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 14:44
  Crista Cowan: So how like she wasn't from Sharon.
• 14:47
  Crista Cowan: Um, so how did she end up being such a prominent figure in Sharon?
• 14:51
  Crista Cowan: Is that because she settled there eventually?
• 14:53
  Melissa Stafford: She settled and married here, raised her family.
• 14:57
  Melissa Stafford: She they had a piece of land, her and her husband, and they ultimately gave that land to their son, and he built a house there.
• 15:06
  Melissa Stafford: It's still there today.
• 15:07
  Melissa Stafford: Um, and she ultimately lived there and and died there.
• 15:11
  Melissa Stafford: She was buried up the street, which is just at the corner of my street.
• 15:15
  Crista Cowan: What?
• 15:16
  Melissa Stafford: So the whole family's there.
• 15:18
  Crista Cowan: That's amazing.
• 15:19
  Crista Cowan: So here you are raising your family in Sharon, seeing the statue, the ball field, your kids are doing projects.
• 15:26
  Crista Cowan: Like this is somebody that you're aware of as a historical figure.
• 15:30
  Crista Cowan: But at some point, Ancestry contacted you and there was an opportunity for you to be on Good Morning America and tell me a little bit about like what you were thinking or what you knew or believed as you were going into that experience.
• 15:44
  Melissa Stafford: To say I was a little bit um in the dark, but very curious, uh, to say the least, I had gotten an email from Lisa at Ancestry and to an email address I don't really use anymore, but it was one that I had when I started my tree in Ancestry a million years ago.
• 16:04
  Melissa Stafford: And I happened to go through that email every so often because having four kids go through the school system, some have this email, some have that email.
• 16:12
  Melissa Stafford: So every once in a while I'll do a quick scroll through.
• 16:15
  Melissa Stafford: And I happened to see this email that did not look like spam.
• 16:19
  Melissa Stafford: So after doing a little digging on is Lisa a real person, you know, type of thing, I agreed to chat with her.
• 16:27
  Melissa Stafford: And my gosh, once you chat with her once, lovely person, very easy to talk to.
• 16:34
  Melissa Stafford: And she asked if she could look into my family history, that they were going to do some different projects of women in Boston, you know, Women in History Month was coming up.
• 16:44
  Melissa Stafford: Um, could they look into my family tree?
• 16:47
  Melissa Stafford: So who would not want that um type of gift?
• 16:51
  Melissa Stafford: To me, it felt like a gift because I didn't know anything.
• 16:54
  Melissa Stafford: But the deal was I couldn't look into anything myself now that she was going to look into it, which was not a problem at all.
• 17:01
  Melissa Stafford: That was not a problem.
• 17:02
  Melissa Stafford: So we we chatted a handful of times and um I had no idea what she was finding out.
• 17:08
  Melissa Stafford: And then she had one day said, Oh, by the way, we pitched it to Good Morning America and they loved it.
• 17:17
  Melissa Stafford: And can we shoot at your house?
• 17:19
  Melissa Stafford: So very interesting.
• 17:22
  Melissa Stafford: A little mind-blowing, a little bit, wow, really?
• 17:26
  Melissa Stafford: Me?
• 17:27
  Melissa Stafford: They must have found something.
• 17:29
  Melissa Stafford: I'm just gonna wait and see and we'll go with it.
• 17:32
  Melissa Stafford: And so thankfully, I was away the the couple of weeks prior.
• 17:36
  Melissa Stafford: We had had a blizzard in Boston.
• 17:38
  Melissa Stafford: It delayed me even getting home.
• 17:40
  Melissa Stafford: I couldn't even get home in time to do the Good Morning America.
• 17:43
  Melissa Stafford: So I said, You guys are gonna have to do it without me.
• 17:45
  Melissa Stafford: I'm you know, I'm sure the other people that you're working with, because I was under the assumption they were doing multiple stories.
• 17:52
  Melissa Stafford: So I said, You you're just gonna have to go with them.
• 17:54
  Melissa Stafford: I'm sorry, I'm still in California.
• 17:56
  Melissa Stafford: I can't get back.
• 17:57
  Melissa Stafford: We've got like five feet of snow at home.
• 17:59
  Melissa Stafford: And so they rescheduled it, which like wow, for me.
• 18:05
  Melissa Stafford: For me, what's going on here?
• 18:09
  Melissa Stafford: So, um, so yeah, we rescheduled it and we even had to bump it earlier by two hours because we were getting more weather.
• 18:16
  Melissa Stafford: So they arrived at my house at 6 a.m.
• 18:19
  Melissa Stafford: Um one day, and it was the most just amazing experience I've ever had.
• 18:27
  Melissa Stafford: The the team at Good Morning America was just fantastic, made me feel so comfortable working with Lori Bergamoto.
• 18:36
  Melissa Stafford: She was amazing.
• 18:37
  Melissa Stafford: The producers, the camera, I mean everybody.
• 18:39
  Melissa Stafford: And then to actually meet Lisa in person was just the whole thing was just dynamite.
• 18:45
  Melissa Stafford: And when we finally sat down and started chatting, it was, you know, the hype was crazy.
• 18:52
  Melissa Stafford: And so finally Lisa had come out and started flipping through the her iPad.
• 18:58
  Melissa Stafford: Do you recognize these names?
• 19:00
  Melissa Stafford: Do you recognize these names?
• 19:01
  Melissa Stafford: And I still had no idea.
• 19:03
  Melissa Stafford: Um, I really thought it was going to be my Italian side for some reason.
• 19:07
  Melissa Stafford: And I saw that it was my grandfather from Florida, and I didn't recognize any names.
• 19:13
  Melissa Stafford: I didn't know his mother's name, his father, I knew nothing.
• 19:17
  Melissa Stafford: So we got to the end and it said Deborah Simpson.
• 19:21
  Melissa Stafford: And I was like, mind-blowing.
• 19:24
  Melissa Stafford: Mind blowing.
• 19:25
  Crista Cowan: Right.
• 19:26
  Crista Cowan: Like you think about that, right?
• 19:29
  Crista Cowan: Like you grow up knowing, oh, I have this grandpa who lives in Florida.
• 19:33
  Crista Cowan: And I think sometimes that's what happens in families when there's divorce or disconnection.
• 19:38
  Crista Cowan: Like you just kind of lose touch with the stories that could have been passed down or the information that might have been shared.
• 19:46
  Crista Cowan: And so to have that information restored to you essentially, those those family stories given back to you, but this connection to this person that you essentially knew um all the stories about already, that's that's crazy.
• 20:02
  Melissa Stafford: It was it was mind-blowing.
• 20:05
  Melissa Stafford: It it kind of just blew me away.
• 20:07
  Melissa Stafford: I honestly I didn't know how to react or feel.
• 20:10
  Melissa Stafford: And I just remember Lori from GMA saying, How do you feel?
• 20:14
  Melissa Stafford: What do you think?
• 20:17
  Crista Cowan: But after the lights, after the lights are gone and the microphones and cameras are off, and you had some time to sit with it for a little bit.
• 20:26
  Crista Cowan: Like, did you have some feelings about it?
• 20:30
  Melissa Stafford: Oh my gosh.
• 20:31
  Melissa Stafford: I would actually say by the end of that day was just I was emotionally drained.
• 20:38
  Melissa Stafford: Um thankfully, GMA did not show any of my ugly crying that I did um here and there throughout the day.
• 20:44
  Melissa Stafford: But the last stop was actually at the Sharon Historical Society.
• 20:48
  Melissa Stafford: And what a lovely group of people.
• 20:50
  Melissa Stafford: And they were just so happy and thrilled that we were there.
• 20:55
  Melissa Stafford: And they just went all out.
• 20:57
  Melissa Stafford: You know, they just really wanted to make sure that Deborah was kind of seen, you know, and it was it was just wonderful.
• 21:03
  Melissa Stafford: And by the time we like completely finished filming, I just burst into tears.
• 21:07
  Melissa Stafford: Like it was the most emotional.
• 21:09
  Melissa Stafford: Like these people did all of this for me.
• 21:11
  Melissa Stafford: Like that was what kind of got me was they did all this for me.
• 21:14
  Melissa Stafford: And like, who am I?
• 21:16
  Melissa Stafford: I'm just uh, you know, another person, but they did all of this for me.
• 21:20
  Melissa Stafford: And I think that was really very humbling for me was to have this attention to kind of bring out this amazing Deborah Sampson, you know, to kind of kind of bring her back out again and spotlight her and give me that star, you know.
• 21:38
  Melissa Stafford: It just it's really hard to explain, but I was I was humbled by the whole thing.
• 21:42
  Melissa Stafford: I was I was misty when they told me that they reached out to Rock Ridge Cemetery where she's buried, so that they could plow a path to the grave so that I could go there.
• 21:54
  Melissa Stafford: And I just got so emotional thinking about that, like the things that people did to make this happen for me.
• 21:59
  Melissa Stafford: I think was the most moving part of it was to kind of give me that.
• 22:04
  Melissa Stafford: It was a gift.
• 22:04
  Melissa Stafford: Yeah.
• 22:05
  Melissa Stafford: It was truly a gift.
• 22:06
  Crista Cowan: Well, I love that.
• 22:07
  Crista Cowan: I love that perspective too, that you have that humility and that connection.
• 22:11
  Crista Cowan: I think that's really beautiful.
• 22:13
  Crista Cowan: As a mom, though, like were was your family off-camera experiencing this with you, or did you have the opportunity to share it with them later?
• 22:21
  Melissa Stafford: Well, so my husband and my son, they both, they, they were here.
• 22:25
  Melissa Stafford: They live here.
• 22:26
  Melissa Stafford: Um, but Jackson went to school that morning.
• 22:29
  Melissa Stafford: So he was, he was there in the very beginning and they got a little shot of him at the very beginning.
• 22:34
  Melissa Stafford: That was his two minutes of fame.
• 22:36
  Melissa Stafford: My husband, you can kind of see him a little bit because they said, Oh, you know, go about your day.
• 22:40
  Melissa Stafford: We're gonna take, you know, some shots of you just kind of in your home.
• 22:43
  Melissa Stafford: And so, but then my husband was kind of in the background, just kind of watching and listening and just taking it all in.
• 22:50
  Melissa Stafford: And that he had some, he works from home, so he was downstairs doing some meetings while all this was kind of going on upstairs.
• 22:56
  Melissa Stafford: So Jackson knew all about it and he could not wait for me to get home from going to all these different places so that I could tell him all about it.
• 23:06
  Melissa Stafford: And so my husband was really good.
• 23:07
  Melissa Stafford: He wasn't telling anybody, he's like, it's her story to share.
• 23:11
  Melissa Stafford: And he knew that it needed to be top secret until it was aired.
• 23:16
  Melissa Stafford: And so we were only going to tell my mother and my sister and the kids.
• 23:20
  Melissa Stafford: And so my mother and sister had been messaging my husband like all day.
• 23:24
  Melissa Stafford: And I didn't even take my phone with me because I knew it would be buzzing and ringing.
• 23:28
  Melissa Stafford: And so they were just dying to know what this big connection was.
• 23:34
  Melissa Stafford: So when I finally got home to Jackson, I told him, and he was beside himself, but he also was a little bit like, why couldn't we have learned this earlier when I was in third grade and we did this project on Deborah C, you know, it was, but he was dying to tell his brothers and my mother and my sister.
• 23:53
  Melissa Stafford: So I let, you know, we did it all together, but we let him share the news.
• 23:56
  Melissa Stafford: And he was just so excited.
• 23:59
  Melissa Stafford: He was so excited.
• 24:00
  Melissa Stafford: And when we we FaceTimed with one of my sons, um Aaron, we said, Um, do you remember Deborah Sanson?
• 24:07
  Melissa Stafford: And he was like, Yeah, what a badass.
• 24:09
  Melissa Stafford: Why?
• 24:10
  Melissa Stafford: And so we're like, hey, guess what?
• 24:12
  Melissa Stafford: You know, so it was really cool news for all of them.
• 24:16
  Melissa Stafford: They just really enjoyed it.
• 24:18
  Crista Cowan: Oh, that's so fun.
• 24:19
  Crista Cowan: So do you remember what your exact connection is to her?
• 24:23
  Melissa Stafford: She's my sixth great-grandmother.
• 24:26
  Crista Cowan: That's pretty close.
• 24:28
  Melissa Stafford: It's and my mother's fifth, and my mother, you know, so it's we went out today where we had a congressman, a senator, our state rep, the select board, the library trustees, the Sharon Historical Society Board.
• 24:41
  Melissa Stafford: It was this big event um for 250.
• 24:43
  Melissa Stafford: So it was kind of this like, you know, Deborah Sampson, hey, how awesome is she?
• 24:48
  Melissa Stafford: Let's honor her with this kind of you know, event.
• 24:51
  Melissa Stafford: And we were invited as the family.
• 24:53
  Melissa Stafford: So my mother, my sister, and my son Jackson went.
• 24:56
  Melissa Stafford: So we had five, six, and seven um for generations there.
• 25:00
  Melissa Stafford: And it was just so cool.
• 25:01
  Melissa Stafford: And they loved it.
• 25:02
  Melissa Stafford: They were so happy to have family there, you know, to kind of you know, be the witness.
• 25:09
  Crista Cowan: How many children did Deborah Sampson have?
• 25:11
  Crista Cowan: She had three.
• 25:13
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 25:13
  Crista Cowan: And did all of them have descendants?
• 25:17
  Melissa Stafford: They do, but you know, I think there's a couple of distant cousins around here, but nobody I've met um that's as direct as as me just yet.
• 25:27
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 25:28
  Crista Cowan: So it's not like family has been honoring her, the community has been honoring her, but family hasn't been really participating in those celebrations or honoring until yet.
• 25:39
  Melissa Stafford: There's people that are, they might as well be family.
• 25:41
  Melissa Stafford: They they've really been honoring her in such a way.
• 25:44
  Melissa Stafford: We have this one gentleman, Steve, um, who's uh Sharon resident, and he worked so hard for years to get Deborah on the stamp.
• 25:53
  Melissa Stafford: So she's on the stamp um currently with the 25 revolutionary heroes.
• 25:59
  Melissa Stafford: And then I understand there's a Deborah Sampson Day.
• 26:01
  Melissa Stafford: There's a Deborah Sampson Day.
• 26:03
  Melissa Stafford: It's May 23rd every year, and that date is significant because it's the day she was able to officially enlist.
• 26:11
  Melissa Stafford: So it's her enlistment date.
• 26:13
  Melissa Stafford: Um, so we celebrated at the Historical Society.
• 26:18
  Melissa Stafford: We had lots of wonderful people there.
• 26:21
  Melissa Stafford: And the state does this whole um proclamation uh with a citation.
• 26:26
  Melissa Stafford: And so they do that every year.
• 26:27
  Melissa Stafford: They proclaim it Deborah Sampson Day, and they have a reenactor, Julia, who's absolutely wonderful.
• 26:33
  Melissa Stafford: And it's almost like you're talking to Deborah Sampson.
• 26:36
  Melissa Stafford: So I find that incredibly cool.
• 26:38
  Melissa Stafford: But it's just wonderful.
• 26:40
  Melissa Stafford: And there's also an amazing award um through the state.
• 26:44
  Melissa Stafford: It's at the state house and it's Deborah Sampson Award, and it's for a female veteran.
• 26:48
  Melissa Stafford: And I attended to witness on my great-grandmother's behalf.
• 26:53
  Melissa Stafford: And it was to see it in my town, you know, and we all know Deborah Sampson.
• 26:58
  Melissa Stafford: She lived here, she died here, the whole thing.
• 27:00
  Melissa Stafford: But to kind of leave my little area and to go to the state house and just see her so honored was mind-blowing.
• 27:10
  Melissa Stafford: They had, you know, Color Guard, Star Spangled Banner, you know, just the pe all the people from the Veterans Affairs were there.
• 27:18
  Melissa Stafford: So I got to meet the deputy secretary, the deputy um lieutenant was lieutenant governor was there.
• 27:24
  Melissa Stafford: And um I met the families, I met last year's recipient, the nominees.
• 27:31
  Melissa Stafford: I mean, it was just an honor to be there and just baffling to see the honors bestowed upon my great-grandmother.
• 27:39
  Melissa Stafford: No family has been there before.
• 27:41
  Melissa Stafford: I was the first of family to kind of go to these things.
• 27:46
  Melissa Stafford: So it was just an honor for me to be there on her behalf to witness these amazing things that these women are doing in her name.
• 27:54
  Melissa Stafford: So it's really pretty cool.
• 27:57
  Crista Cowan: Well, and to have a reenactor, I think that is so cool.
• 28:00
  Crista Cowan: I was just talking to a friend today, and one of the things that we said was like, how like there are some ancestors we just really wish we could have a conversation with and just learn more about their story directly from them.
• 28:11
  Crista Cowan: And so through Julia, you're almost able to do that, right?
• 28:16
  Melissa Stafford: She's she's wonderful.
• 28:18
  Melissa Stafford: She's fantastic.
• 28:19
  Melissa Stafford: We had gone to a reading that she had done.
• 28:22
  Melissa Stafford: Um, basically, she was sitting at a table going through what would be her journal and just kind of talking at the audience.
• 28:27
  Melissa Stafford: And I had my six-year-old nephew with me, who I'm like, oh, is he gonna sit through this okay?
• 28:33
  Melissa Stafford: He was mesmerized.
• 28:34
  Melissa Stafford: He thought that he was looking at his great grandmother and he was, can I meet her?
• 28:40
  Melissa Stafford: It was just, it was wonderful.
• 28:42
  Melissa Stafford: It was one, and it was pretty new to me when we had found out that she was our great.
• 28:47
  Melissa Stafford: So to be sitting there listening to her like she's Deborah Samson was just so much fun.
• 28:53
  Crista Cowan: Uh, that is the coolest.
• 28:54
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 28:55
  Crista Cowan: And I love that you took your nephew.
• 28:57
  Crista Cowan: I think as you think kind of to the future and how, like now that you know this story, now that you have this connection and understanding of your family tree and and this, like you knew the story intellectually before as a piece of history, but now it's a part of you and it's a part of your family history.
• 29:15
  Crista Cowan: How does that change like your family now and the connections that you have now and how this story continues to perpetuate in your family going forward?
• 29:25
  Melissa Stafford: I think it's it's our duty and responsibility to continue on with our legacy.
• 29:30
  Melissa Stafford: Initially, I was thinking, I actually I think it's Lisa or Lori at Good Morning America had asked me, you know, do you feel like this will change things for you?
• 29:39
  Melissa Stafford: And initially I said, no, I already do everything that I think Deborah would be proud of.
• 29:47
  Melissa Stafford: You know, we give back, you know, my son is very avid in scouts, and we're always doing community service and we're always trying to do for the community.
• 29:55
  Melissa Stafford: And so I just felt like I was a very strong female and I feel like I would be doing her proud already.
• 30:01
  Melissa Stafford: But then as I kind of had a moment to think about it quietly, it's kind of our responsibility to continue on and to be there in her in her stead and to bear witness.
• 30:13
  Melissa Stafford: Like I wanted to be at the the award ceremony.
• 30:15
  Melissa Stafford: I wanted to be there to congratulate somebody on behalf of my grandmother.
• 30:19
  Melissa Stafford: So I just think it's something that we need to keep passing on.
• 30:23
  Melissa Stafford: And and now, so today we went to an event and my son went too, you know.
• 30:28
  Melissa Stafford: So I think that we just need to keep that, keep that going.
• 30:31
  Melissa Stafford: And somebody needs to be Deborah's descendant.
• 30:35
  Melissa Stafford: We need to keep her, you know, at the forefront and keep inspiring women and people in every gender, every race, every culture, just everybody should have a voice.
• 30:44
  Crista Cowan: Oh, I love that.
• 30:46
  Crista Cowan: That's so beautiful.
• 30:46
  Crista Cowan: And I feel like you are the perfect person because you were already living so many of those values to step into this role to carry it forward.
• 30:55
  Crista Cowan: I think that's beautiful.
• 30:56
  Melissa Stafford: It's showing me so many things I never even thought of before.
• 31:00
  Melissa Stafford: I was like, wow, there's there's an award.
• 31:02
  Melissa Stafford: Oh, there's a day.
• 31:03
  Melissa Stafford: There's, you know, just how else can we honor Deborah?
• 31:07
  Melissa Stafford: A million different ways, even just by ourselves going to the food pantry, you know, just anything really, just paying it forward.
• 31:14
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 31:14
  Crista Cowan: Well, Deborah is such an illustrious ancestor to have, but has this experience um changed your level of curiosity about exploring more of your family tree?
• 31:26
  Melissa Stafford: Oh my gosh.
• 31:28
  Melissa Stafford: Hours and hours.
• 31:30
  Melissa Stafford: If I start looking, just oh, let me pop on ancestry for a little bit.
• 31:34
  Melissa Stafford: I it my husband's like, oh, she's gone.
• 31:36
  Melissa Stafford: She's gone.
• 31:37
  Melissa Stafford: We'll never see her again.
• 31:38
  Melissa Stafford: Um, but I'm currently knee deep all over my family tree.
• 31:44
  Melissa Stafford: So I recently applied to the Daughters of the American Revolution and also the Mayflower Society because Deborah's roots go back to uh Governor Bradford, John Alden, Miles Standish.
• 31:56
  Melissa Stafford: So it's been really fun.
• 31:58
  Melissa Stafford: It's been really fun.
• 32:00
  Melissa Stafford: Some of it is a little frustrating based upon they all like to name their kids the same names as other people in their family.
• 32:07
  Melissa Stafford: And so it's sometimes you hit a roadblock, but I love finding that little breadcrumb and kind of finding out something cool that I that I didn't know.
• 32:16
  Melissa Stafford: So it's it's been really fun.
• 32:17
  Melissa Stafford: So yes, the curiosity level has just skyrocketed.
• 32:22
  Crista Cowan: Has your mom, your siblings, your children, your nibblings, is it anybody else in the family kind of shown a similar interest or spark because of this?
• 32:31
  Melissa Stafford: I think they're happy for me to do it and for them to hear um stories and connections and whatnot.
• 32:38
  Melissa Stafford: Um, it's funny.
• 32:39
  Melissa Stafford: When I I think when I was first initially interested in it, but I had, you know, a whole bunch of kids and, you know, a job I had to travel for.
• 32:47
  Melissa Stafford: My sister is in that place now.
• 32:50
  Melissa Stafford: So she's got the smaller kids.
• 32:51
  Melissa Stafford: So she doesn't really have the bandwidth to do that, but she enjoys everything that I tell her and you know, these cool connections and whatnot.
• 32:58
  Melissa Stafford: And my mom's enjoying that as well.
• 33:00
  Melissa Stafford: Um, Jackson, my youngest, just finished the genealogy merit badge, um, which Lisa very graciously had a Zoom with him and some other fellow scouts uh to talk about, you know, what she does.
• 33:12
  Melissa Stafford: And so it was very cool.
• 33:13
  Melissa Stafford: So he he has an interest in it as well.
• 33:17
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, that's pretty typical that there's usually one person in a family when they get to a point in their life where they become the family historian.
• 33:25
  Crista Cowan: And the other, I think it's just a really beautiful thing, actually, because you have the time and the drive and the interest to dive into that.
• 33:32
  Crista Cowan: And then you become the connector to share those stories.
• 33:37
  Crista Cowan: And so as you think back, you know, I asked you earlier about, you know, was your grandmother a storytelling grandmother?
• 33:42
  Crista Cowan: And you said no.
• 33:43
  Crista Cowan: But now you can, you have the opportunity to become the storytelling sister and aunt and mother.
• 33:51
  Crista Cowan: And I think that that's a really beautiful, beautiful role for you to step into.
• 33:56
  Melissa Stafford: Well, it's interesting because, you know, when you look at your family tree and you're just trying to, oh, how far back can I go?
• 34:03
  Melissa Stafford: Where do my roots start?
• 34:04
  Melissa Stafford: But you also have to think about what you're doing right now.
• 34:06
  Melissa Stafford: What's the history you're making presently and what you should be documenting about it now, so that it's then seen years from now.
• 34:14
  Melissa Stafford: So you got to kind of keep that in mind, which I wasn't initially.
• 34:19
  Melissa Stafford: I was like, oh, I don't need to worry about my photos.
• 34:21
  Melissa Stafford: My photos are everywhere.
• 34:22
  Melissa Stafford: And but you really need to kind of keep that all documented now, um, or it's lost.
• 34:27
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, absolutely.
• 34:28
  Crista Cowan: Well, if you could sit across from Deborah Samson today and and tell her one thing or ask her one thing, right?
• 34:35
  Crista Cowan: I know Julia's a great um kind of stand-in to give you that connection.
• 34:40
  Crista Cowan: But if you could actually have a conversation with Deborah, what would that look like for you?
• 34:45
  Melissa Stafford: I'd want to know about her quiet moments.
• 34:47
  Melissa Stafford: I think I would want to know, you know, what was her concern or worry or her happiest moment as she was living up the street from me.
• 34:55
  Melissa Stafford: You know, I know I'm sure everybody had asked her, what was it like to be a man in the Revolutionary War?
• 35:01
  Melissa Stafford: But I think I'd want to know about the quiet moments, the the anecdotes, you know, where she, you know, was making a cake and she spilled it everywhere and something funny happened.
• 35:10
  Melissa Stafford: I think I would want to know those little tales, you know, about the really gross dinner she made or what made her kids laugh.
• 35:17
  Melissa Stafford: You know, I think I would want to know about the everyday Deborah, just the great grandmother Deborah.
• 35:22
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 35:23
  Crista Cowan: I love that so much.
• 35:24
  Crista Cowan: I think that's kind of as family storytellers, as family historians, I think sometimes we want to be able to tell the heroic story of enlisting in the military, right?
• 35:34
  Crista Cowan: And uh, you know, dressing up as a man and like that heroic story, which is amazing and incredible and deserves to be retold.
• 35:42
  Crista Cowan: But like you just said so beautifully, I think our descendants are gonna want to know those same things about us.
• 35:48
  Crista Cowan: Like, you know, what did we believe?
• 35:50
  Crista Cowan: What did we think about?
• 35:51
  Crista Cowan: What were our hobbies?
• 35:52
  Crista Cowan: What were some of those quieter um characteristics that came out in just everyday life?
• 35:58
  Crista Cowan: I think that's so lovely.
• 36:01
  Melissa Stafford: And it's like, who do you take after?
• 36:02
  Melissa Stafford: You know, I I love that kind of like little tidbit of where our ancestors connect with each other.
• 36:08
  Melissa Stafford: So having those little personal traits or stories, or, you know, my son's a lefty.
• 36:12
  Melissa Stafford: I know Deborah was a lefty, you know.
• 36:14
  Melissa Stafford: So it's just kind of like those little things that I feel like I enjoy the most.
• 36:18
  Crista Cowan: So fun.
• 36:19
  Crista Cowan: Well, Melissa, thank you so much.
• 36:21
  Crista Cowan: I love that you've shared Deborah with us and that you now have the opportunity to share Deborah with the rest of your family and be involved in sharing her with um the state of Massachusetts and those who come in contact with her story.
• 36:34
  Crista Cowan: Um, if people want to kind of follow along with your family history journey or um learn more about Deborah and and see the reveal, like are there places they can go to look for that?
• 36:45
  Melissa Stafford: Well, I know that you can view the Good Morning America um segment if you go on YouTube and look Good Morning America, Deborah Samsa, and you'll find that Good Morning America segment, which was really cool.
• 36:56
  Crista Cowan: Then we'll link that for sure.
• 36:58
  Crista Cowan: Great.
• 36:59
  Crista Cowan: So this season on the podcast, Melissa, um, we are talking a lot about how stories keep families deeply connected.
• 37:09
  Crista Cowan: And you've just shared this lovely story with us about Deborah Sampson and how you're sharing that with her with your family.
• 37:16
  Crista Cowan: But in my box, um, I have random words and we're gonna draw a word today.
• 37:22
  Crista Cowan: And I just want you to do like a little word association and just see.
• 37:26
  Crista Cowan: Is there any story or memory from your own life that comes to mind as we say this word out loud?
• 37:34
  Crista Cowan: One word, one story.
• 37:38
  Crista Cowan: Okay, our word today is airplane.
• 37:42
  Crista Cowan: Airplane.
• 37:44
  Crista Cowan: I remember the first airplane trip I took because we I grew up in California and um we just lived near my grandparents my whole life, and so there was never really anywhere to go.
• 37:56
  Crista Cowan: We took like one big family vacation, but it was by car.
• 38:00
  Crista Cowan: But when I was 13, we moved to Oregon.
• 38:02
  Crista Cowan: And the most devastating thing for me about moving to Oregon was that we were moving away from my grandparents, and I didn't know if we were going to be able to see them again.
• 38:10
  Crista Cowan: And uh the Christmas that I was 15, uh, my parents bought plane tickets, which was a big deal because there were five children in our family.
• 38:20
  Crista Cowan: That's so that was a lot of plane tickets.
• 38:22
  Crista Cowan: And um, and it was, I was so excited to fly to California to see my grandparents, but we had to make a stop.
• 38:31
  Crista Cowan: Like, I don't know why there was not a direct flight from Portland to Los Angeles, but we had to stop in San Jose of all places.
• 38:38
  Crista Cowan: And um, I had been just a little bit airsick, like not like just a little nauseous and like it didn't agree with me.
• 38:47
  Crista Cowan: And we got into the airport and in San Jose, and I was like, we're gonna have to get on another plane.
• 38:52
  Crista Cowan: And that's just all I could think about in my head.
• 38:55
  Crista Cowan: Um, and as we were sitting there in the airport, this guy walks by dressed like kind of like Santa, like he had on like, you know, some Santa accoutrement.
• 39:05
  Crista Cowan: And it was a kid that I had that I was in high school with, um, just randomly there in the San Jose airport.
• 39:12
  Crista Cowan: And he came over and hugged me, and I introduced him to my family, and we got to laughing and stuff, and it just completely took my mind off how I was feeling.
• 39:22
  Crista Cowan: And I was fine getting on the next airport.
• 39:24
  Crista Cowan: I may have had a little crush on this guy.
• 39:26
  Crista Cowan: And um, and so like, so that was my memory of my very first airplane trip was to visit my grandfather.
• 39:33
  Melissa Stafford: I was waiting for you to tell me that you ultimately married him or something.
• 39:35
  Melissa Stafford: I did not, no.
• 39:37
  Melissa Stafford: We didn't we didn't take too many plane rides um growing up, as I'm sure you can imagine.
• 39:43
  Melissa Stafford: You know, you just didn't have a lot of airfare money.
• 39:46
  Melissa Stafford: You got in the car and you drove places, but my folks were really young, so we didn't really take many trips at all.
• 39:53
  Melissa Stafford: I did get to go to England with high school, and I remember saving up for that trip and working all the weekends and buying my clothes at a discount because I worked at Filene's basement.
• 40:04
  Melissa Stafford: That was amazing.
• 40:05
  Melissa Stafford: And I got to go to England and so with my class and getting on the plane and just having that sense of adventure and no parents.
• 40:14
  Melissa Stafford: And honestly, I'm not even sure I remember the actual like being on the airplane, like riding in the flying in the airplane, but more just the people that were with me, my classmates, and just the excitement of going on this trip at you know, 15, 15, 16 years old, going abroad even to England was just unheard of.
• 40:37
  Melissa Stafford: You know, you didn't travel abroad, you know, back in the day.
• 40:39
  Melissa Stafford: It was just not something you did.
• 40:41
  Melissa Stafford: So it was kind of a really cool thing that I got to do.
• 40:44
  Crista Cowan: That's amazing.
• 40:45
  Crista Cowan: Was it like with a like like with a history class or a music class?
• 40:49
  Melissa Stafford: Or it was in high school.
• 40:50
  Melissa Stafford: I went to an all-girl high school, and um, it was something, it was an optional type of thing, you know, so kids who wanted to do it could sign up to go.
• 40:59
  Melissa Stafford: And it was over during a school break.
• 41:01
  Melissa Stafford: And um, you know, you did all that, you got on the bus, you toured all around, and um, it just so happened that there was a um a boy school also going on that same trip.
• 41:11
  Melissa Stafford: So made it a bit more exciting.
• 41:14
  Melissa Stafford: Um, that there were these like cute boys, you know, also on the bus uh type of thing.
• 41:18
  Melissa Stafford: So that was kind of fun.
• 41:20
  Melissa Stafford: But it was just my parents let me go on this trip, which they never traveled abroad.
• 41:24
  Melissa Stafford: So it was just kind of a new, exciting type of thing.
• 41:28
  Melissa Stafford: So it was really cool.
• 41:29
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, I love that.
• 41:30
  Crista Cowan: Have you shared that story with your kids?
• 41:33
  Melissa Stafford: No, I don't think so.
• 41:36
  Crista Cowan: There you go.
• 41:37
  Crista Cowan: Well, Melissa, thank you again for being here.
• 41:43
  Crista Cowan: Thank you for sharing Deborah.
• 41:44
  Crista Cowan: Thank you for sharing your stories, and I'm excited to continue to follow along with how you continue to honor Deborah and her life.
• 41:59
  Melissa Stafford: Studio sponsored by Ancestry.