Latest / Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel / Friday HAPPY HOUR! July 28th, 2023 | The Great Love Debate & Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

Transcript

Friday HAPPY HOUR! July 28th, 2023 | The Great Love Debate & Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel · Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I remember being in a small town in Italy, struggling
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  Speaker 1: That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash P-O-D. Start your journey to
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: real conversations in a new language today. Hi guys, it's Rachel.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: You could tell you're listening to my podcast misunderstood today.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: We're doing things a little differently. I was on another
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: podcast called the great love debate with Brian Howie and
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: the episode actually was pretty good and gives an insight
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: to me my relationships in the past what I believe
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: about love and in general. And so we decided to
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: put that episode on my feed so you could listen
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: to it. And I think you will really enjoy listening
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to this because I'm the guest instead of the host.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: So let me know what your thoughts are. Sit back, relax,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: and enjoy The Great Love Debate with Brian Howey and me,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Rachel Yucatel.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I just feel like this is the one thing, love, dating, relationships,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: that everybody has experience with, everybody has an anecdote on,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: everybody has an opinion on, everybody has pain from. It's
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: the one thing that you can grab any people from
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: anywhere in the world and have a conversation, and that
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: conversation should be engaging to everybody involved in that conversation.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: And so I sort of laid out, because somebody had
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: asked me at one of our shows, why do you
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: care so much about this stuff? But answering that question
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: really sort of only brought it down to about 5,000 feet.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I wanted to know, what this stuff is. I want
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: her to know what it is we care about. And
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I want to know why we care about what that is.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: So I brought in a pro. She's laughing. She's like,
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I'm a pro. Because she has sort of privately and
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: publicly dealt with a lot of this stuff. And she
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: has a very popular podcast that gets into this stuff
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: and a whole lot more. You may have seen her
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: on Celebrity Rehab with her old friend Dr. Drew back
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: in the day. You might have seen her on Millionaire
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Matchmaker with our not-so-good friend Patty Stanger back in the day.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: That's another podcast for another time. She's the host of
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: the Misunderstood podcast. I'm not sure how misunderstood she is,
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: but we'll get to the bottom of that. Rachel, you
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: can tell. How are you?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I'm great. Thank you for having me.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: So when somebody says... You obviously, like I said, publicly
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: and privately have been like, I care too much or
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I care so much or I really need this in
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: my life. What is it that we need besides the
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: primal companionship? We always say that we're wired to be
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: with another person. It's more than a physical thing. It
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: is an emotional, chemical thing that we really feel the
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: need to be in a relationship.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Well, I think it's different for every person. Some people
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: derive credibility from it. Some people, listen, some people don't
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: love to be alone, but they just want the physical
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: intimacy sometimes and want to separate completely after that. So
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I think for everyone, it's very different and everyone has
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: their own version of what means something to them or
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: why it's so important to them, but it's the way
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: they connect with other people for sure. And to me,
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  Speaker 1: for me personally, I, My relationships for a long time was,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: and I would get myself in trouble this way, I think,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: and I've dealt with it a lot, but like I
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: derived my credibility by who I was with. And if
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  Speaker 1: that person, everyone wanted to know them, but they wanted
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: to be with me, that made me feel loved and worthy.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I think everyone's relationship.
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  Speaker 2: If they're somebody, I'm somebody. Yeah, yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And I think that that derived a lot from my
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  Speaker 1: childhood and from, you know, things that I went through
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  Speaker 1: very early on. And feeling the need to be loved
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  Speaker 1: meant I was worthy. So that's my psychological issue with
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: being in relationships. But I'm 48 years old. I'm still single.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I believe in monogamy.
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  Speaker 2: That's only 4 o'clock. That's right.
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  Speaker 1: I believe in love. I believe in getting married. I
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: would love to have a family. I want a witness
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  Speaker 1: to my life. But it's really hard to find that.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm a shredder. I'm not great at it.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: So, you know, it's something I'm still striving for.
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  Speaker 2: It's really hard to find that. But, you know, as
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: we say, the juice is worth the squeeze on some level.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: It should be hard to find that. We make it
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: hard to find that sometimes. We make it hard to
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  Speaker 2: keep that. We make it hard to recognize that. We
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  Speaker 2: do all of these things. But that was a really
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: good point you brought up at the beginning. I need,
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  Speaker 2: because I lack self-esteem or I don't trust the love
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  Speaker 2: I was given from other people or I don't love myself,
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  Speaker 2: that somehow... We need the validation, not from just this person,
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  Speaker 2: but from the people who see me with that person.
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  Speaker 2: That really has a lot of layers to it that
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: actually make total sense. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I think it makes sense. It's what I've
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  Speaker 1: been dealing with my whole life, I think. It's gotten
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: me in a lot of trouble, but it's also made
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: me understand. You know, I suffered from love addiction. That's
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: what I was on Celebrity Rehab from dealing with. And
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I used to go on tour with Dr. Drew on
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: all sorts of shows to talk about the validity of
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it because some people don't believe in it. And I
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: believe that your problems with love addiction is what stems
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: into a lot of tangible addictions like drugs, alcohol, drugs. Um,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: and people don't see how there's a correlation, but there
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: really is. And it was very interesting to me to
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: find out about it and then to teach others about it.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I think every addiction of any kind
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  Speaker 2: comes from a hole or an emotional need that you're
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  Speaker 2: trying to fill. Yeah. I knew somebody who had a
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  Speaker 2: problem with alcohol and he quit that and he became
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: a sex addict. Of course. And I've never seen anybody
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: struggle with such a self-loathing and hatred as with the
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  Speaker 2: sex addict he's just like i am ruining my entire
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: life for these little sort of 30 second bursts of
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  Speaker 2: pleasure and the whole time it was i'm like go
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  Speaker 2: back to drinking like it's really really hard love addiction
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  Speaker 2: yeah a lot of people probably say it's um it's
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  Speaker 2: a made-up term or whatever it's a fake term but
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: if you are addicted on an emotional level to this
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: need to feel connected, bonded, validated, any of those things.
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  Speaker 2: It's as real as anything else.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: And it can be hard for people to function in
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: their job, in their other relationships, in their parenting, whatever
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  Speaker 1: it is for them. If they get so enmeshed in
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: someone else, that is probably wrong for them. And they
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: tend to have a bad picker. They tend to replace
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  Speaker 1: love for intensity. You know, they're looking for the ups
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: and downs. They're looking for this toxic thing and it
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: becomes so overwhelming. They cannot function as a person. They're
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: picking the wrong people that make their lives unlivable in
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: some ways.
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  Speaker 2: And then, you know, people get out of a relationship
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  Speaker 2: and they treat it like a game of musical chairs
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  Speaker 2: and they better find a seat as quickly as possible
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  Speaker 2: because they are floating without this life raft of both
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  Speaker 2: a connection and the validation that you talked about.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and not only that, when they get out of
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  Speaker 1: a relationship, it takes all their self-value away. So for
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  Speaker 1: a lot of these people.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's get started.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Are you first-time buyers?
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's our first time.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: So, it's your first time here?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: No, it's first time buying. Did you say no?
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: For first-time buying.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: No, wait, hold on.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: Okay, please hold.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: What?
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: No, no, I told you to hold on.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: You're viewing homes, not mortgage advisors. So find your nearest
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: branch at ebs.ie to get a dedicated mortgage person throughout
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: your mortgage journey. EBS, the mortgage people. Lending criteria, terms
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: and conditions will apply. EBS DAC is regulated by the
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: Central Bank of Ireland.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: The struggle with love addiction, they cannot... get up easy.
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  Speaker 1: You know, they cannot recover from losing this other person
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  Speaker 1: because that person's took all their happiness and all their worth.
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  Speaker 1: And that, that is the most debilitating for a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people as well.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Where, where are you from in real life? Where'd you
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: grow up?
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  Speaker 1: Anchorage, Alaska is where I was born. I lived there
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: till I was five and then I grew up in
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  Speaker 1: New York city.
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  Speaker 2: Okay. That's wow. Wow. That's a transition. Yeah. Um, you know,
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  Speaker 2: New York city is an interesting place. You know, I'm
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: from New York. A You can be what I call
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: a bubble in a waterfall where there's all this energy
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: around you and you sort of can float through an
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: existence fairly isolated and fairly lone. And you really do
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: have to try hard to connect there. It is a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: little bit cold. It is a little bit distant. Did
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: you feel good about yourself at an early age? When
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: did you, and you're obviously beautiful.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: When did that kick in?
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I don't think physical, you know, what
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: you look like physically really has a lot to do
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  Speaker 1: with women's self-esteem.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: No, but it gives you opportunities.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: It does give you opportunities. And by the way, you know,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I used to run nightclubs for a living in Vegas,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: New York, the Hamptons, St. Barts, whatever. And I can
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: tell you that the heavier, unattractive women were the ones
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: with the most self-esteem. They'd be getting up on top.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: tables dancing and they would go home with men at night.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: The models who were hungry, who were mean, who didn't smile.
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  Speaker 1: They were the ones that the guys wanted to meet,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: but they were not the ones that the guys fucked
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: at the end of the night.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Or, you know, even got their number because they were
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: just annoying, you know? And the fun girls who just
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: didn't care.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Because you're getting something back from them. You're getting energy
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: back from them.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, to get back on what I was saying,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: being in New York, you know, I was just talking
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: to somebody about this today. The Housewives of New York...
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: none of them are married. All the other franchises, a
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: lot of the women are married. New York is the
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: hardest place in my opinion. And I've lived almost everywhere
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: from LA to New York. Um, it's a really hard
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: place to find people and you really can be, and
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I learned this from working in the nightclub industry. You
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: could be surrounded by people, but feel so alone. And
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I've suffered from that for a long time, but it's
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: also cause I have really high standards. Funnily enough, I was,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I had interviewed, um, Mama June.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Do you know who that is?
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Yes. Do you remember her? Okay. She just got remarried.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: She just got married. Now, I literally was coming up
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: with the questions for her and a legitimate question I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: had was, give me your tips on finding love and
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: getting married because I can't get myself married even if
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I threw myself at someone. And someone was like, you
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: cannot ask her that. That's ridiculous. Because she's picking someone
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: who has like a meth habit and no teeth.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Right. But she's married. A, you can have a high...
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Both Menendez brothers are married.
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Are they?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, in prison?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: They're kind of hot.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I guess. But, you know, you could say I have
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: a high standard, but are you making it because I
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: have a high standard that it's not about that? You're
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: like moving the bullseye out of range so you don't
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: have to deal with it. Maybe. You brought up Millionaire
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Matchmaker when Patty's done this show. She always goes that
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: there's no good man. There's no good man. Everyone wants
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: to blame the city they're in, the people they're in, whatever,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: or I'm too busy or I'm picky or whatever, because
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: they don't want to take ownership of there are opportunities
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: and possibilities and people right in front of you who
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: you probably could date. And it's scary to you to
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: go down that road. Probably.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I'm not someone who's easy to get to know, which
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: is my fault. I have a lot of boundaries around me.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: I'm somewhat of a recluse. I don't like to, I mean,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I love my home here in Florida. I don't like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to leave. I have a beautiful home. I love my dogs.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: I have an 11 year old. Um, I, I don't
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: meet people out at bars. I just would never do that.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: I don't, uh, I do a lot of online dating. Um, I,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: you know, it's just, it's interesting to me being on
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Millionaire Matchmaker, um, By the way, we could talk about
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: that in a second. But, you know, I try so
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: hard to meet someone. I really do. But I probably,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: to answer your question, don't go above and beyond to
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: pick the people that I really could meet. Because it's
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: not that I find something wrong with them. It's just
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: that I cut it off way too soon. As Patty
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: labeled me, I'm a shredder.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm not good at giving people a chance. And
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I've interviewed somebody who hosted the Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: She was the Jewish matchmaker.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Aliza Ben Shalom, wonderful woman. And she was like, listen,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: you have to give people a chance. You don't know
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: anybody after the first date. You don't know this person.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: And my problem is I will meet someone and I
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: can immediately know if they're going to be a boyfriend,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: you know, if we're going to be in a relationship.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: And that's my problem. And I will get into a
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: relationship with someone for three years. And not date anyone else.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: But like, I don't, I'm like, I know this person
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: so well. They know me. They make me feel good.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: That's like a red flag. I know now not to
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Do you say Google me or don't?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I never say Google me. They usually have.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Does it help?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Well, that's an interesting question. If they haven't, I always
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: have that. And if they haven't and I like them,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of anxiety that goes on with, oh,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: how am I going to tell them this? Or how
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: are they going to find out?
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: There are plenty of times, even as of late, that People,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: before they get into even meeting me in person, they
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: will say, just so you know, I know who you are.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: And I have no problem with it. I think you've
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: been through a lot. I think you're amazing. I'm so
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: excited to meet you. And then there are people that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: when they find out who I am, and this happened
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: last year, someone said, I went on two dates with them.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And then I spoke to them on the phone and
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: they said, you owe me an apology. I can't believe
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: how you have not been transparent with me. And I said,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: for what? And they said, you didn't tell me who
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: you were. And I said, I don't even know what
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: that means. I mean, obviously I know what it means,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: but I couldn't believe they had the audacity to say
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: that to me, that I owed them an apology. And
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: their thought was, you know, why should I find out
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: from taking a flight and seeing the documentary Tiger and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: There You Are? I should know that that's the girl
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I'm dating. And I thought to myself, but it's not
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: like you disclosed everyone that you've had a relationship with
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: in the past or your biggest regret. Maybe it's not
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: like you put that out on the table either. So
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: what are we talking about?
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: And not only that, you could make the argument and
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: it'd be a valid argument. This is not what defines me.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm trying to give you the things that are
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: who I am now that you deal with. If everybody
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: had to be like, Oh, here are the 10,000 important
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: pieces of information that That's why when people make these
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: little checklists, like I need this, this, and this, well,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: those are five of 10,000 things you probably need. You
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: don't know what's important to them, so there's no reason
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: for you to volunteer it. But it's probably something that somebody,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: no matter what, because it's relatively interesting or really interesting
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: depending on who you are, they're going to have questions about,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: do you bring it up over the edamame? Like when
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: do you.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: First say, oh, by the way? It's really hard to know.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And when they do know, they do have a lot
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: of questions, which, you know, It depends who the person is,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: but I really don't feel.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Keep listening. Stop Googling. You can do that after the show.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: But I don't feel the need to go into details
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: unless it's somebody I know that I like or I
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: want to.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: know about the drawer.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: The drawer. Just the one square before bed. Or two,
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: you know. Nobody's watching.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: You deserve a treat. With eight flavors to choose from,
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• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Spend more time with, and I feel it's important to
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: let them know the basic facts, not of what happened,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: but of just, you know, how I kind of want
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: to shape that conversation. Because listen, it's like, you know,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: have you ever cheated on someone? Have you ever done
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: something that you feel guilty about? And then the whole
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: world knows. Imagine what that's like. And then you are
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: defined by that forever. I mean, everyone makes... mistakes in
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: their life, but rarely are you defined by it unless
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: you like go to prison for it and Google it
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: or whatever you get to learn from your lessons, hopefully,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: and move on. But when something that big is the
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: most talked about story, not just in your area, not
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: just in the, in America, in the world, and it's
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: still brought up to this day, it's very, it is
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: not easy.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Why do you say it's a mistake?
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Well, a mistake is I don't, I'm not somebody who
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: would like to define myself as having affairs with people.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: So that is the part that.
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: Was a mistake.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: You're the affair, you're with the married one.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I was not the married one, correct. But I mean,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: it was, I was the monster, so to speak. You know,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: the mistress is always the monster.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: You were willing a participant in an adulterous situation. And,
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: you know, at the end of the day, that's between them. Um,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: it's not great. It's messy.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And the issue is between the three of us, not
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: the world.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: So that's also what was, it became something I got
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: angry about when people would ask me, cause I'm like,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: that's really none of your business. That's my business. And
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: you know, I have never in my life cheated on
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: someone I have been with. I believe in monogamy and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: people don't think they are not like, well, well, why
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: were they in that? What, you know, what caused that?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: And obviously he was with 15 other women. Obviously, you know,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I had met him at a time.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Did you know that?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I knew that he had been because I met him
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: when I was dating Derek Jeter. And Derek Jeter and
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I let him come stay at, well, Derek let him
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: come stay at the apartment. And I knew that he
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: wanted to meet a couple of my friends. And, you know,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: I remember asking Derek, didn't he just have a kid?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, but that's not their relationship. So
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: it was something I'm not going to talk to him about. But,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: you know, I knew that there was... There was no
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: issue there from years before. Okay, guys, I'm so excited
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• 22:00
  Speaker 2: It's a complicated subject. This is a complicated subject. I
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: gotta take a quick break because we got to pay
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: for dates with Derek Jeter and a whole lot more
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: around here. I'm with Rachel. You could tell we're talking
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: about what it is that we love and why we
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: love it. We will be back right after this. And
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: we are back. So when you say now, um, you
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: want to be in this relationship, a relationship for, for,
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: 50 years happily ever after. I do.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I believe in that.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: We always say, but before you can define love, before
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: you can find love, you need to define it. How
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: do you define it?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Um, how do I define love or how do I define,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: define what I want in a relationship?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: One thing at a time.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: First, how do you define love for you?
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Um, love would be something that is unconditional that you
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: really have no judgments about. Um, and, You really care
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: about that person or that thing's feeling, well-being, sometimes more
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: than your own, and you look to always protect that person,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and you almost glaze over a lot.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: know about the drawer. The drawer. Just the one square
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: before bed. Or two, you know. Nobody's watching.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: You deserve a treat.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: With eight flavours to choose from, you can choose the
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: flavour you favour with Cadbury Dairy Milk.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Of, uh, things that are bad. For example, I love
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: my dogs. I love my daughter. Um, I love some
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: of my daughter's friends. I think they're just incredible. You know, I,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: there are some people that I don't even know that well.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I love their personality or their energy. I really care
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: about these people who maybe are not my best friends,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: but I just love who they are. Um, and then
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: there've been relationships that I, you know, I love that person.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Um, So that to me is love. But that is
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: different maybe than what I want in a relationship.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: You bring up the unconditional thing and the judgment thing.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Is that because that's really important? Do you get that
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: back in return based on that? Is there some guilt
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: in that?
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: No, no, not at all. I just think that what
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: makes relationships tough is that, you know, it could be
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: so nice in the honeymoon phase for a little bit,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: but then it gets really... Toxic almost sometimes you might
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: love someone, but then pick out all their negative things
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: that bother you, you know, and give them a hard
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: time and nitpick on stuff. And, you know, I think
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: that's what makes a relationship difficult. So when you really
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: love someone, I think you look over a lot of
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: that stuff because you're just like. I love them. Like
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: my daughter, she could be a total bitch half the time.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: You know, she's 11. She's going 11.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: She's 13. Yeah. More than half the time.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And she's, you know, can be awful.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: But I love her. So I have to laugh it off.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I get mad. But then that anger goes away in seconds.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Whereas if I'm in a relationship, I can hold on
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: to that. I can really let that fester. And then
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I want to make them pay because they've hurt me.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: And, you know, it's one of the things that's going
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: to be easier for you in your forties and fifties. It's,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: it might be, the pool isn't quite as big as
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: during our nightclub days back in the day. But when
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: you are in a relationship or you were married in
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: your twenties and thirties, at some point you go from husband,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: wife to mom and dad. And that is a completely
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: different dynamic in the thing, which sometimes brings people apart
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: as husband, wife. It just kills the bond of what
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: got you together in the first place. You're still a mom,
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: but when you get into it in your forties and
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: fifties or whatever, you are sort of adults over that
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: hump of needing that or, or having that wherever. And
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: you can be like, this is my shit and this
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: is your shit. Can our shit go together? And we
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: can sort of make this work. I think that has a,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: has a good chance, you know, or better chance to
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: work at that age. If you can find the person,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: because a lot of people, especially men, I'm set in
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: my ways. This is the way I live my life.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: This is what I need. And, and a lot of
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: times I think it's not the responsibility of the woman,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: but I think there's an opportunity for the woman to
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: create an environment where his confidence can flourish in a
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: way that he will change in whatever way she wants
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: him to. And a lot of times it is harder
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: for a woman in their 40s because you don't need
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: us as much. You can buy your own shit. You
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: can do your own shit. So the need of a
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: man has gone away a little, which makes him... loses
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: hero thing that he needs to play and all that
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: kind of stuff. But if there's like, you know what?
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I believe you can enhance my life, my world, my family.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I think then he's willing to do whatever you want
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: him to do.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I agree. I think if somebody is
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: accretive to the situation, if they are an asset, so
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: to speak, they make you better. They believe in you.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: They love who you are. That is a better relationship
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: than sometimes you get into in your 20s and early
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: 30s when you don't even know who you are yet.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: And you don't know what you're looking for. So the
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: reason I think why I'm so picky at this part
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of my life is because I know who I am.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: If someone has any problems with something that's happened in
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: my past, because that comes up a lot, that's not
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: the person for me. Because I know who I am.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And I know the friends that I have, they love
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: me for who I am. And I was a person before.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I've been a person after. And I think it's just
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: really important to, like you said, find who you can
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: be in a foxhole with. And they are going to
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: be an asset to you. And not let you down.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: And for me also, it's really important that I find
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: a catcher. I am the man and the woman in
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: my life in so many situations. I've been through my
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: mother sending me to an awful therapeutic boarding school. The
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: one that Paris Hilton went to for a few months.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I graduated from there. I was left at the school
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: when I was 13 years old and did not leave
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: until I was almost 17. It was awful. You had
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: to like dig a grave with a spoon. You had to,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, horrible things happened to you there. And it's
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: now been closed for abuse. I, you know, I've, been
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: engaged to someone who was killed while we were engaged.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: No one got me through that but myself. I was
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: in an awful scandal and I had no one to
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: turn to. My family and friends were like, that's a
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: bad look. I don't know her. I had to get
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: through that on my own. I've had to figure out
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: crisis management. And then my father died of a cocaine
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: overdose when I was 15 years old and I had
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: to get through that. So I need to find a
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: man who is going to be stronger than I know
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: will be stronger than me in any situation. I can
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: figure out anything. I can get a reservation anywhere. I
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: can handle if someone hijacks a plane. I feel like
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I've got it from little to big. So I really
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: want a person that I feel like Can get me.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Even though I like to handle things, but I want
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: to know that the guy's a little smarter.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Will you let us handle some things?
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I can try.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Will you play like I can't reach that on the
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: shelf at Whole Foods?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not good at that.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I know. That's part of what you have to do.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: You have to give us an opportunity to be the boy.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: You're right. And it's hard because you don't even need
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: a ride anymore. I know. You can fix your own shit.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: You can buy your own shit.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: It's really hard for the men. I used to say
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: for generations we were shooting at a 10-foot basket. Now
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: we're shooting at a 12 foot basket. We got to
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: become a better shot, but you have to be aware
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: that you raise the basket to get in your world
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: because you simply need us less. Yeah.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I guess so, but I appreciate men.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I want to be able to lean on someone. I
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: just have felt so disappointed, I guess, in the past
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: that that might be my issue. But something really funny
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: we're doing on my show is that we're trying to
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: do things in a different way than what we've been
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: trained to. And now in our 40s, you know, we've
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: gone a certain way and everyone has a type, right?
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: You go on an online dating site, you have a type,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: you fill out all these check marks. So my producer, Kelly, we've,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: we do this segment on happy hour. She's 45 years old.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: She's tells me all her dating stories. And we decided,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: we announced that she is getting married New Year's Eve
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: of 2024 and And the only catch is we haven't
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: found the guy.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Manifesting. Yes.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: So we're manifesting it. We put her on every dating site.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: We talk about every date she goes on. Now she's
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: visiting me in Florida and we're going to go out
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: every night and look for different men, see what it's
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: like online versus at bars. So we're doing the whole
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: thing backwards to see if it works.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Hey, I think that's got as good a shot to
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: work as anything. Can you be asked out at Target?
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: If I go to Target, sure. Whatever. I love Target.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Whole Foods.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I don't like Whole Foods. I like Publix.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, Publix. That's a very Florida thing. You can be
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: asked out like some stranger, like, hey, I just noticed
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: the way you touched those melons. Would you like to
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: go get a drink sometime?
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if I didn't think that was a cheesy line.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Can I barbecue this? You know, whatever.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: You can.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: A hundred percent. And probably I would like that guy
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: more because I probably look like shit in the.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: know about the drawer. The drawer.
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: Just the one square before bed. Or two, you know.
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: Nobody's watching.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: You deserve a treat. With eight flavors to choose from,
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: you can choose the flavor you favor with Cadbury Dairy Milk.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: So not to play back in the day too much here,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: but you're not, me and you are not quite old
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: enough to remember the Studio 54 days. But the people
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: who talk about those days talk about an era that
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: that was the greatest time that ever was. The closest
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: we have to that, and me and you kicked around
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: the same sandbox back in the day for a while,
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: was those LA Vegas late 2000s, early aughts or whatever,
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: teens days. Explain what that was like. Because I try
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: and tell people what that was like in that height
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: of that nonsense before it all kind of shut down.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: The lines and the cash and the access.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: I can tell you from the very beginning, because I
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: grew up from when I was five in New York City.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I went to an all-girls private school, Nightingale Bamford. My, my,
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: the circle that I grew up in, my boyfriend, my
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: very first kiss when I was 12 was Jason Strauss.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: His best friend was Noah Tupperberg. They are the two guys,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: they're Tao now, but they opened up Marquis. But before that,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: they started at Sweet 16. And when I dated Jason,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: when he was 12. He had a box, a tin
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: box in his bedroom filled with cash. And it was
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: because he was a promoter. And he did all these things.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: He was the young kid that promoted all these parties
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: and got kids to come in. And he promoted for
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Sweet 16. And he knew how to get people to places.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: So it started when we were young and it was
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of cash. Then he went on to, you know,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: be a part of different nightclubs in New York and
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: different things. And then I moved to Vegas because of him.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: He was opening Tao. And that was a completely different
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: experience in the way that he was now a real
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: part owner of something big in a hotel. I came
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: there maybe a month before it officially opened. And he
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: taught me. He's like, listen, the women here are either
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: strippers or... or waitresses. I don't trust any of them.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I had just quit my job at Bloomberg News. He
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: knew that I kind of got it. And I was
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: his friend for years since we were 12. Or actually,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: we knew each other since we were like six or seven.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: So he's like, if you come here, I will give
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you a job and you can help me figure this out.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: So I did. I went there and I stayed. I
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: became known as the first lady in Vegas because we
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: started dating again. But I was taught a level of
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: customer service that actually Now it doesn't even exist anymore
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: because there's so much saturation of nightclubs. But at the time,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: we were taught in a manner that no one knows
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: this anymore you had to do outreach every day you
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: had to go touch everyone in the city from the
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: cab drivers to the concierge to let them know that
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: tau was opening or tau was open and what the
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: party was that week you had to bring the waitresses
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: would get fired if they didn't bring in a guest
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: list of 25 people the hosts had to have 10
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: things booked tables booked and it.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Started everything right people Yes.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Well, it started with, because New York is much different
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: than Vegas. Vegas is, they'll take anyone depending on what
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: the price is.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: New York, even if you get in, there's another room
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: you're never getting in. Vegas, you're in and.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: You can pay your rent. But New York was crazy
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: because you had to, I mean, I worked with a
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: guy that made women stand on a scale to get in.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's how mean it was. They would be like,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: you're fucking ugly. What are you doing here? They were
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: mean there. But that's not how it was in Vegas.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: You could look like anything and come in.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: And they loved it. They loved the money. They loved
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: the people, the amount of people they could pack in.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: So we started at charging tables of $ 500 a table.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: And then when we really got into it, on those
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: $ 500 tables, the minimums were $ 5, 000.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: And we were making, on New Year's, they were making
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: over a million. And I was the person who cultivated
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: the first real bottle service customer that was spending $ 250, 000, $ 400, 000
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: a night. And that became somewhat of the norm.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: But also, we would teach our staff. to know everything
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: about them. You had to know their wives, their mistresses,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: what they like to eat, what they, you know, what
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: they did, where they were from. And then you could,
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: they could not leave at the end of the night
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: without writing a thank you note. So it was really
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: done well.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: I mean, it kind of changed back in, back in
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: the day, nineties used to be able to go out with,
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: you know, a couple hundred bucks and do whatever.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: The table, the access, the bottle service, the VIP, it
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: changed everything. We used to have to bring out another
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: guy who, so we had access to the girls and
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: be like, you want to come with us? You're buying.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: And he knew his role and he'd be like, okay,
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I'm the guy with the black card. I will pay $ 20, 000
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: and I get to hang out with you guys. And
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: he was getting something out of us and we were
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: getting something out of him and everybody's getting free drinks.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: And that just, it was like such a different world
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: that people would be like, oh, let's go to Vegas.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I heard of this place called, you know, Pure. And
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: it's like, you're nowhere unless you are spending five figures. Right, right.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: And when I worked.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: And the pools changed.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And when I worked there, it was all cash.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: We were making almost... $ 10, 000 in cash a week, and
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: they told us, do not put in more than $ 10, 000
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: into your deposit, whatever, because you will get flagged. So
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: we put cash under our bed for years. And it
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: was only when Stevie D from Pure got, I don't
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: know if he got arrested or got into some trouble
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: with the IRS that they started to tax everybody.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: And that's what happened to Studio 54, the bags of
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: cash in the ceiling. But the amount of money that
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: people were making with the clipboards on the lines in
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: those clubs.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Or crazy, yeah.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Or the appearance fees that people were getting to show up.
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Like Kim and Paris and Lindsay and everybody got just
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: to go sit in a booth for eight hours.
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: It was insane, but the publicity and the dollars that
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: that would generate was worth it.
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: It was more than they were paying the DJs. Kim
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: was getting $ 200, 000 to come sit and talk to a
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: guy named Jolo, who now is... I don't know if
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: you know who that is from Malaysia. He was on
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: the run and all this stuff. But we were paying
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of random celebrities at the time that were
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: just in... in not social media, but in entertainment or
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: pop news, right? To come be with these people. So
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: it was a very, you know, very interesting.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: Now, how do you find, is love on your mind
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: in that situation? Because it's such a chaotic thing. Getting
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: a relationship there is sort of like you're taking yourself
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: off the ride. And the ride is such a exhilarating
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: period of money and cash and people and all that
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: kind of stuff that it's like trying to have a
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: relationship during that time is hard.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting you ask that because I used to
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: say all the time, I am in a room where
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: 3000 new people come in four times a week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Um,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: and we, there's no one that I re that rarely
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: throws me off. You know what I mean? And I was,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Dating Jason, again, we had dated when we were younger,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: as I said, we decided to date again there. We
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: ended up living together there. And to me, that was
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: great because I was dating the owner of the club,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: my boss, whatever. And he, I knew him. I felt
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: close to him and bonded with him. I also was
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: highly aware of the trouble you can get in Vegas.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Like I could have dated anyone that came in every weekend,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: any celebrity that came in. But that to me would
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: have been, it would have taken me out of the game.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I was so good at my job. So it was
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: better for me to be in a relationship with someone there.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: But I did sort of have my eye out looking like,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: could I meet anyone else and fall in love and
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: have someone almost save me from this and get me
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: out of here because I'm not going to live here forever.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: And I really didn't meet anyone like that. I mean,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: that's where I met Derek Jeter for the first time,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: but I didn't have any interest in dating him. We
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: were just friends. And I also found that I became very... um,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: someone everyone wanted to know there because I was the
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: gatekeeper and I was like their buddy and their best friend. Yeah.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: So I knew everyone on a level where they trusted me,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: but if I ever crossed the line, that would have
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: ruined it.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: But they wanted validation from knowing you in the way
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: that you needed validation from knowing somebody else. It's a,
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: it's kind of an icky circle of life there, but
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: that's sort of true, you know? And it's tough if
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: you're empires for lack of a better term just the
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: amount of women that they have access to that's why
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: they always say randy gerber was so successful in uh
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: as a nightclub guy and he ultimately married cindy croft
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: or whatever because he didn't get caught up in the
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: nonsense he had the one and that was it.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it's interesting. Women would come to the front
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: of the club every night and be like, I'm here
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: to see Jason. And I'd be like, really? And my
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: host would laugh with me. They'd be like, Rachel, stop.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: but also men were coming to the club. Most, the
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: most famous men to be like, I'm here to see Rachel.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: And like, we just had to have a trust. And
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: he clearly was not going to do this under my
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: nose while we were there. And we literally, when we
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: were there, we were running a business. Like this was
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: not us like trying to have sex. I mean, I
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: had a rule that I had to go upstairs and
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: party with everyone. The waitresses knew they had to put
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: diet ginger ale in my champagne glass and they had
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: to put water in my vodka glass.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: So The illusion of partying. Yeah, the illusion.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: And the whole thing was an illusion. Jason took his
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: job seriously and definitely flirts because he knew he had to.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I definitely did as well, but I also had very
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: good boundaries.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's part of the show. All right, I'm going
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: to let you plug your podcast in a minute. But
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: before we do, this is your first time on this podcast,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: we play something called Worst Date or First Date. So
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: you have to either give us the absolute worst date
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: you've ever gone on or the absolute greatest first date
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: you've ever gone on Your choice.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, I wish you prepared me for this before.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Never. We throw you in the deep end.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: So I met Jim Norton on Bumble. Do you know him,
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: the comedian?
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And before I got together with him, he said that
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: something was wrong with his elbow. And so he had
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: become vegan or vegetarian.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: He wasn't eating certain foods because he couldn't work out.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: So he was trying to slim down. This is what
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: we were talking about on text before we met.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: And then also, I owned a store at the time.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: So we were talking about clothing or whatever. And he said, oh,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: he asked me about my feet. Like if I was
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: walking around in heels, I didn't think anything of it.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: He's like, well, how are your feet? Send me a
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: picture of your feet. So I did. I didn't think
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: anything of it. So anyways, I meet up with him
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: at this like vegan restaurant, which by the way, even
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: on my Bumble now, it's like I won't date Trumpers
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: or vegans. Like it's super annoying to me. So we
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: go to this vegan restaurant. We're eating all this disgusting stuff,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: but I'm pretending I like it. And I realize as
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: we get through this, he has a foot fetish. Now,
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this about Jim Norton,
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: because I think it's kind of.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Out there now. I do now.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: He has a major foot fetish. So like during dinner, he's.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: Like, can I see you? Like a Quentin Tarantino level
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: foot fetish?
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, like can I see your feet? You know, do
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: you let people lick your toes? And I'm like, we're
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: at a vegan restaurant talking about feet. It was so uncomfortable.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: But he's so nice and so funny. I really like him.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: But I knew the date was going nowhere. Because as
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: I told you earlier, I can spot within the first
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: five minutes if I'm going to date this person. So
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: here's where it gets really embarrassing. I kind of wanted
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: to get out of there and leave. My store at
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: the time was like a block away. And I was
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: riding my bike to... the store every day. It was
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: like five blocks away and it was the middle of summer.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, listen. Oh, and I had, and I
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: had heels on. So I'm like, listen, uh, he's like,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: can I drive you home or get, put you in
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: a cab and take you home? I'm like, actually I
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: rode my bike. I'll, um, you know, I'll just, uh,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: walk over there. He's like, well, I'll walk you to
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: your bike. So we go to the bike and we're
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: standing from the bike kind of waiting to say goodbye.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is my store, blah, blah, blah. He's like, okay,
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: so where's your bike? I'm like, it's right here. He
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: thought I meant a motorcycle. Meanwhile, it was a bicycle
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: with a baby seat on the back. Cause my daughter
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: was like three or something. And I had to take
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: my heels off and put flip-flops on. And then he's like,
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: this is the greatest date i've ever had this is
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: so random and then like the wizard of oz i
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: had to bike away from him like with the baby
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: seat behind me he's like no i'm watching you bike
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: off because this is just too hilarious and we never
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: spoke again He never called me. So at that point
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I want him to love me.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Cause I feel like such a loser. So he has
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: to call me. I felt so unsexy taking off my heels,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: getting on this stupid bike when he thought I was
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: that cool that I had a motorcycle. So that was
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: a pretty bad.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Well, how are your feet?
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: My feet look fantastic.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: I used to know this guy who had a foot
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: fetish and he subscribed to this magazine called well healed.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: And he was like, he would go up to random
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: people and it's like, what is that? It was like
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: an eight and a half. Like, It was so weird.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: But part of me, some of these fetish people that
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: I've met, they're into that more than I'm into anything.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: And part of me is jealous. Like they have what
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: they love and they're passionate about it. So maybe we're
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: the weirdos. I don't know.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Tell everybody about your podcast and where to find you, please.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: It is called Misunderstood M-I-S-S. Understood with Rachel Uchitel. You
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: can find it on Apple, Spotify, anywhere you get your podcasts.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I would love for you guys to tune in and listen.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: This was good.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: As far as us, not just misunderstood, but this podcast too,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: please like, share, follow, and review this podcast. Your reviews
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. Shoot us an email,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: greatlovedebate at gmail.com. If you have questions, thoughts for me, Rachel,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: or you want to send us a picture of your feet,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: have at it. As always, at The Great Love Debate,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: we never stop making love. See you next time.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. We'll be back next week, Mondays, Wednesdays,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: and happy hour on Friday. If you ever want to
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: reach us or give us suggestions on guests, please reach
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: us at infomisunderstoodpodcast at gmail.com. And that's misunderstood with an M-I-S-S. Otherwise,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: you can DM me on Instagram or you can DM
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Kelly Brink, my producer. Thank you so much for listening
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: to Misunderstood. I'm your host, Rachel Yucatel. Please be sure
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: to subscribe to the show and give us a five-star
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: rating and review. You can support the show by joining
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: our Patreon at patreon.com slash misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel. Do
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: you have ideas for the show or want to reach out?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Email us at infomisunderstoodpodcast at gmail.com. That's spelled M-I-S-S understood.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and I'll see you next time.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: Misunderstood.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: Misunderstood.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: know about the drawer. The drawer.
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: Just the one square before bed. Or two, you know.
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: Nobody's watching. You deserve a treat.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: With eight flavours to choose from, you can choose the
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: flavour you favour with Cadbury Dairy Milk.