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Valuing Yourself, Cultivating Deep Connections and BLSS with Stephanie Singer · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're conditioned to feel guilty, right?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: We feel guilty.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's selfish if we go and do these things.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you take time to go to a yoga class, like not being the one that's like always on and that need to feel important.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: That is your ego, ladies.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that is your ego informing you that your value is in service to other people.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I would like to welcome people into shift that to say you have to do you first, right?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they tell you on the plane is you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone uses that as a reference, but it is fucking true.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't fill your own cup up, how are you filling other people's cup?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Elise Bassine, trauma and breath work expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: You'll hear stories and teachings that expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's dive in.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: So this week I have Steph back with me, uh, my partner in crime.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: We've been percolating a lot behind the scenes and reflecting on our first bliss retreat back in October.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And now we're getting ready for the second one next week.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Next week.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: March 5th.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Next week.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Come join us.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: We had actually been meaning to do an episode after the first retreat to like reflect on the whole experience and everything we learned, but time we didn't do that.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: But now we're doing it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we're just talking about the next one and just really like going deeper into like what is this experience, what it means to us, and just kind of like, you know, in terms of the retreat experience in general, what we think is so important about it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think there's so many people doing retreats or so many different types of retreats.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it really just depends what resonates with you or what is important to you.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's one of the things that we've been talking about and reflecting on.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I know for me, like obviously I've been a part of retreats, and there's things I love about planning and things I hate about it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I think for me, this was kind of especially different because I was able to do what I want to do, but then also kind of like have a wider perspective of like, why did this work so well?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: What were the elements that were different than any other retreat that I've experienced?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then being able to kind of like, I don't want to say capitalize.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like capitalize is a weird word to say, but like grow those things or expand on those things or focus on optimize.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Let's start there.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: For you, like just reflecting on the first one.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are some of your biggest takeaways as far as like what happened and then what you learned from it?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good place to start.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think less is more, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think that was like the big takeaway for me.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was so excited to build the programming.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, there was definitely space in it and rest time and playtime and sauna and hot tub.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I really wanted to encourage people to experience the space because it's so special and beautiful.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that is part of it, right?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just sitting in nature and sitting with other women and you know, having those sort of downtime moments as part of the programming.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: That said, you know, I was up watching the sunrise every morning and making everyone coffee and trying to get people to start.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I know, did you like sleep?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Clearly, yeah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really sleep, but it was like from excitement, it wasn't like weird.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was like you were just like, yeah, I was like a little girl on Christmas Eve, you know, every night.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, I can't wait to wake up, says the Jewish girl.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I think, you know, then I was trying to rally people to start yoga at 7:30, which to me felt good because I had been up for a couple hours.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I do recognize that, you know, maybe a slower morning would feel really nice and to have people gather with their coffee and sit and not feel any pressure to do anything, but have like an extended morning.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the shift that we're gonna make in this next one.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe we'll start, you'll get like nine, nine thirty, and give women a chance to just kind of have those little conversations or start to wake up and just sort of get into themselves and get ready for the day because it is really juicy where we go during the day, you know, especially with the stuff that you bring to the table, the stuff that Deb brings to the table.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm even gonna teach a little bit of Matt Pilates.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I think just making sure that women know that they're not performing, you know, there's no like need to really push themselves.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think more of a gentle start to the day, I think is gonna be the secret sauce this time.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And like what I think too is like some of the retreats that I've been on, and especially for the last one, I think the most like memorable moments are sometimes like in those morning coffees, like sitting there, like talking to someone.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: And whatever you're talking about, I feel like the experience itself, like as soon as it starts and just like the nature of the work that we're doing, like people immediately feel so close to each other where they're just gonna be sharing the deepest stuff where it's not like weird small talk.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's like we're sitting at seven in the morning drinking coffee and looking at the sunset, but we're talking about deep shit and like connecting with each other and those like unplanned moments, I think are the most like they feel the best, or they're the things you remember the most or take away.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like lately the people that I've been connecting with, it's like this onion layer, and it's almost like you're connecting on this surface level and you feel a vibe, you feel a connection.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this happened to me the other day with this woman that I actually work with.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we always had a vibe, like we always connected.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then it took me to invite her to the retreat.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then she's like, wait, come to my office.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to talk to you.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: She ended up having a home birth.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we had all these other things in common.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to come on the retreat, she has a business, she invited me to, you know, all of this deeper layer stuff, I feel like just becomes exposed when you give it that space and brush away all the dust on top of it, right?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: All that sort of programming of, you know, putting your guard up or not revealing too much of yourself.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's what's tripped away at this retreat and this really deep presence and curiosity and seeking to understand who's around you and like playing with that.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I just think that all the walls come down and you're able to connect on that deeper level way faster than you would like immediately, immediately, yeah, exactly.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that surprised not surprised me, but it was just a unique thing that I think for this retreat, like it that I was thinking about was every single person was like so cool, amazing, like doing really cool things in the world, but also like the way that everyone kind of came together and like shared those things about them.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like it all just like fit together, like these puzzle pieces or something.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like once you started talking, you're like, oh my God, you're so cool, or like what what you're doing is so unique, or you're so special, like in all these different ways.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that to me was really cool because I feel like there was this way that like the group like gelled or fit together that it was something that I never experienced before, honestly.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's really cool.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for saying that.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's you know, curating the type of woman that we want to be there that sort of embodies sort of the bliss energy, if you will.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there you have to be a little bit of down-to-earth, right?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: To step into this space.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you know, I think that's what's gonna draw you into the brand, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And resonate and that you feel like you are part of that.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I've been to different retreats and conferences where, you know, I'm looking around, I was like, wow, these people are so cool, or they're doing all this stuff more than me.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I here?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you sort of start to get a little insecure as you sort of evaluate, you know, how do I fit into this group?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is really intimidating, maybe, you know, and I just feel like with what we're creating here, there's nothing pretentious about it, you know, and everybody's so welcome from day one.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start to realize, like, wait, I do belong here and I am uplifting other people around me as much as people are uplifting me, and there becomes this interplay.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I always talk about the oneness, and I do think like when people are sharing during your session, and you know, it's a really beautiful thing because you really feel yourself as part of everyone else's story because it always reflects something in you that maybe you didn't think about that perspective.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about it when I was walking this morning, you know, it's kind of like why we love movies and books and art, and right, we see a piece of ourselves in the characters that are portrayed.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're creating at the retreat is like in real time, you're playing with that, right?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: You get to meet the character that resonated with something within you, and you can have a conversation with them and talk to them and hear their story or their perspective, and maybe it shifts something in yourself to think a little bit differently.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really the intention of the space that we're creating is for you to kind of come in and just be open to the idea that maybe the way that you respond to stress or your life or anything around you, you know, maybe if you put a little bit of space in there and ask why, why was that my reaction?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Why was that my thought?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: What is it coming through?
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I think the work that you do of anchoring it to maybe it's to something that happened in your inner child trauma, you know, and and start to deprogram that and see what overlaying that new energy has on how you engage with the world, I think it's like really fucking healing, you know?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that's the response.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've talked to people that came like even months later.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: I talked to people last night, and this one woman was just like, you know, I've continued to do the things that Elise taught me, and I see those triggers coming up, and I'm not responding in the way that I did before, you know, and it's like this everyday practice that this retreat gave her in particular a space to sort of breathe and play with.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's just completely changed the way that she's living her life, and it's like so humbling to be able to receive that because it's pretty profound, right?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like totally.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you just think about just the time frame, it's like four days.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's like not that much time, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and what can be accomplished in that time.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And even for me, like, and I always say this, like my certification students especially know I'm saying this nonstop that like you should just work with clients because that's how you learn, right?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: You learn from working with people.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I too got so much out of that retreat and like working with everybody because like just even people coming up to me in the interim and like thanking me or whatever, their reflection of me, where they were like telling me what they saw or what they how they perceived the experience, that adds another layer of like how I can understand my own work and articulate my own work.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, like those things are so profound for me too.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's not like I'm just oh, I'm just teaching everyone, like every reflection that I get of how people absorb the work or how they're perceiving it or where they're kind of fitting it into their lives.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's something I take as like, oh, this is what I do.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I can explain that.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I always say like 99% of the struggle of like this kind of thing is being able to articulate what you do.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, like all of those things are so helpful for me because it helps me to understand like the different facets of how this work impacts people and to be able to do it in that short amount of time, that was profound because it's it's like, okay, this can work in like a very short amount of time for people.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I completely agree.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's like, I think it's the presence that people come into the space with and really showing up from themselves.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's an investment, right?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: People paid to come and they're placing that investment in themselves.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And most people had never done that before, right?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so, what's the value that you place in yourself?
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: How do you value yourself, right?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And your self-worth to know that, you know, I'm gonna take a leap of faith and do something maybe I've never done before, and I'm not gonna be tied to the outcome, right?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not getting like a tangible outcome, like you're coming and you're leaving with a Tesla car or whatever car, you know, there's no like maybe Tesla's not the best example.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: A Lamborghini, okay.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you're not like coming and getting something in exchange for it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're you don't know what that is, right?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know what that you're leaving with when you enter.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's also part of cultivating and curating, calling in people that are willing to place a bet on themselves, regardless of what the outcome is and where it's going to take them.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like I think on the last time I said it's a lot of like choose your own adventure because you can take this where you want to take this.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can participate in the sessions, you can go sit in the sauna.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't matter to us.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're just creating a template for you to play in.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I go to a lot of like music festivals and psychedelic festivals and things like that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I love a little playground and I love a little adventure on my own or with a buddy and doing something that I'm feeling called to do.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: There were people who jumped into the pond as like a cold plunge, and you know, and it was just like so cool to see like, hey, I have this idea, I have this idea.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's go do it together and laugh and have fun and be authentically themselves.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there was no conscious, like consciousness, self-consciousness about it.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just sort of tripped away of like, hey, I'm just gonna like go do this thing.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone was really supportive, like, great, go do that thing, you know, and come back.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, tell us if you want to, how was it, you know, or don't talk about it.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think there was like this really sensitivity to the protecting the space and that shared space.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I was looking through the pictures and some of the videos the other day, and you know, just like the joy in people's faces while we're just sitting and playing with the clay or eating meals, and just really this almost like campy vibe that came together.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, it's just it's really, really special to hold space in that way.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really sensitive to all of the little micro moments that let people relax in that space, you know, and let people know that they're being cared for and that they don't have to do anything.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've really thought of all of the details along the way, you know, even like the yogurt and you know, just my biggest takeaway is the fucking yogurt.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sponsored by Trabani, you know, which is real.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: I got Trabani to sponsor, you know, lock alone to sponsor.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: And now these are like my breakfast every morning, by the way.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny because I never would have chosen to drink these before.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: But then at the retreat, I was like, oh, it's like no added sugar, 20 grams of protein.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because I like don't really even like yogurt that much, but there was something about it.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's funny too, because you know how like when you go to a retreat, if you like have a meal or something that you like and then you like extend it off of the retreat, it like holds the energy of the retreat, you know?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And like it's partially that for me.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I'm not affiliated with Chobani, but I just there was something about it where I was like, ooh, these are like the perfect breakfast.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's your daily dose of bliss.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: But wait, I wanted to go back to the idea of like you touched on it earlier of because this is something that has been coming up for everybody that I work with, which is around like placing value on yourself and like making that investment in yourself.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: And like, I think I want to go deeper into this because what I find is that until we kind of like peel back the layers of it and get underneath of what's going on, most women that I work with don't even realize that they're like operating from this foundation or like assumption of them not being valuable or that their partner or their kids' like feelings or needs or whatever are more valuable than theirs.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: And like everything they're doing in their lives is based on that assumption.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: So then what ends up happening is that they will constantly feel like overwhelmed or that they never have time to do the things that they want to do.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: But the reason why is because if they're assuming everyone else's needs are more important, then they're always gonna get stuck serving everyone else.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then they come last and that just like falls by the wayside.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, what do you feel like is the barrier for people to like value themselves in this way to say yes to this, right?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Or what would you say to the person who is like struggling with like, should I, is it really okay for me to invest in myself like this or something?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if that's the right way to ask it, but I think you know what I'm saying.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, let's get into this because this is what I think about all the time.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I was joking the other day that everyone wants to outsource the blame of why women feel this sense of like devaluing themselves or prioritizing everyone else, right?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's the conditioning that we've been through as women, you know, there's many reasons, but I'm like, take the Scooby-Doo mask off and recognize and own that it is you putting this pressure on yourself and perpetuating narrative that just has no place anymore.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: We love a Scooby-Doo moment.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love a Scooby-Doo moment.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I yeah, so my dog growing up was Scooby-Doo because I told them.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I didn't know that.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I love Scooby-Doo as a kid, and I always told my parents, please can I have a dog?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then finally, when my sister went to college, they replaced her with a dog and it was a female beagle, and guess what her name was?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Scooby-Doo.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, love Scooby-Doo, love a good Scooby-Doo reference.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's the women putting pressure on themselves, and I think we're conditioned to feel guilty, right?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: We feel guilty, it's selfish if we go and do these things, even if you take time to go to a yoga class, like not being the one that's like always on and that need to feel important.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is your ego, ladies.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that is your ego informing you that your value is in service to other people.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I would like to welcome people into shift that to say you have to do you first, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they tell you on the plane is you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone uses that as a reference, but it is fucking true.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't fill your own cup up, how are you filling other people's cup?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're constantly filling people up from a depleted, empty cup, you're gonna just exhaust yourself, you're gonna get sick, it's not gonna feel good, right?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's everything reaction is gonna come from like your cortisone, your fight or flight.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there, I've been there, right?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not comfortable and it's not healthy.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up getting a stomach ulcer, you know.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really came from a really dark, hard place.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just celebrated my 300th hot yoga class at the studio that I go to.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, we were there.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: We were there, and you know, I was really reflecting on the shivasana when I started.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: I would literally be like, okay, breathe to my feet and breathe out from my feet.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And my nervous system was so deregulated, and I was not in a good place.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And like now I'm just like having a party on my mat at the end of the practice and feeling all of this energy come over me and having these like psychedelic visuals coming through and just feeling really fucking amazing.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the consistency in the practice, and you have to start somewhere, right?
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think again, like that's what the retreat is is like an opportunity for you to really go in deeper to do that deep reset that's gonna take you.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm hearing it from all the women, and I'm sure you have friends that go on other retreats, right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's like Ali said at the top of the call, like there's several, there's many retreats are trending, friends.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Retreats are trending, and bliss retreat is a retreat that you can go on.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's many retreats that you can go on.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love for people to just go on a retreat, whether you come on ours or you come on anyone's, because it's really about creating that space to really deeply pause and reflect.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And for bliss, it's shine back into the world.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to start to value yourself.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the head cracking open and the concept of this sort of guilt free experience that you need to give yourself because that is going to open up more space and give you more strength to tap into your inner knowing, right?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think we said this on the Call last time, but it's the work that you need to choose to do.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not ready to do it, then that's just where you're at.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's great, you know.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: But it's an opportunity to really, I think, tether the thinking.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're already percolating and thinking about it, right?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Then you need to place the bet on yourself and you need to trust that you're here to do big things and to create bigger things and really participate and live your life.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: I actually just went to Radiohead in London and everyone was like sitting and we kept wanting to stand.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And there was this guy who maybe had a lot to drink in the our section, and he's like yelling at everyone, like, live your life, live your life.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually become this talk track for me and my friends of live your life, right?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's really profound for him to say in that space, like he wanted people to get up and dance and live.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And by the end of the con, pretty much everyone was.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it kind of worked, but you know, the notion of like live your life, like this is your life to live.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: You only get one.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're gonna put off stuff until a time when the stars are aligning and everything's in this perfect place, like what if that never happens?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's actually happening now.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've been saying this about the astrology we're experiencing right now with the Saturn Neptune conjunction and zero degrees Aries is actually now when the stars are aligned.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no, it is.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I I sent an email about this last you heard it here.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually now where like the best time to move forward with one of those things that you put off for like, oh, well, I'm not ready, or someday in the future, actually right now is the best time to do that.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's like this reset energy of like Neptune, which is like your dreams and visions, Saturn, which is structure 3D.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: So they're meeting at zero degrees areas, the beginning of the zodiac.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: So that's your dreams coming into physical reality at a new beginning, a new story.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like the best time to do that.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: The time is now.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: The time is now.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing I just wanted to mention before I forget, because I think that for me, I know a lot of my clients, if they aren't motivated to do the deeper work around valuing themselves for themselves, they will be motivated by their kids, right?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: And especially if you have daughters and you and I have daughters who are the same age and who are friends.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And when I think about like what I want to model to my daughter as far as like how to engage with the world, how to treat herself, it's not to sacrifice herself for everyone else.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's not to make everyone else's feelings more important than hers.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, like to me, that's like a huge motivating factor of just like, do we want to continue to model to our daughters that this is like how women are supposed to be?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Or do we want to like break the cycle?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that what I experience working in the corporate world, right, is I see just women in utter exhaustion and burnout constantly around me, right?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, is that what you want to model?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is coming from this place of really like deep exhaustion?
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then how do you spend your time when you're not working, right?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Are you just recovering from that?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or can you thrive and can you take each day and start to decide how you want to respond?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And look, there's a lot of pressure out there.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to shy away from the pressure.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have a high pressure job too, you know.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's sort of that grace that you can bring into how you work, right?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And how you respond and how you pull people in and how you communicate and start to really weave this new energy into that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not an instant on, right?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is work that it takes time to develop and time to grow.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think, you know, calling women in in their 30s and 40s and 50s when they're in this time of sort of this bigger reset of, you know, I think the word grace is coming up, you know, in my head.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: And like, how do we want to sort of navigate this next part of our lives, right?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: We've spent our younger years trying to prove ourselves and our jobs and what we do and how we make our income and you know what we represent in the world, and you know, having fun and partying and all that stuff.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, yes, we're moms or we're career women, or we have our own business.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's hard out there.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: The economy is hard, right?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's even more important now to focus in on what's the gifts that you're uniquely bringing.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: How do you attract people and and pull people in and connect with people and start to play into that?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And because I do think a lot about what we are remembered by isn't what we did, but it's how we did it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: How did you make people feel in part of that process, right?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really more important than whatever invention that you can invent.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think it's really like the quality of the experience that you're giving to people.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so Yeah, your relations.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: How do you look in the mirror today and think about like, how do I make people feel?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do I make people feel good?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Do I make them uncomfortable?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, it's good to be self-reflective.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, did I want to say that thing?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: But really, what was that thing that you said?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Where did that thought come from?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you start to unwind it that way, why did I have that response?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Where did that response come from?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then I said it, and that person felt uncomfortable, you know, and start to reverse engineer.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, why am I even having this thought?
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Where is that coming from?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that is like, I think, work that you can do in meditation and work that you can do in yoga.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think again, anchoring it back to the retreat, it's just a bigger space to play and sort of start to unwind, right?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think there is a flow to the to the weekend of unwinding and then rewinding.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's really this really beautiful, like reverse bell curve of how you want to engage.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like deconstructing and then like reconstructing of like how you're gonna be in the world.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to ask you too, because I feel like this is something that comes up for so many people I work with, which is if you have a corporate job, this happens to a lot of women, like they have a corporate job or whatever, and then they want to start a business and they start a business maybe, but like their first instinct is to like compartmentalize the two, where it's like, okay, I have to like do the business over here and then my corporate over here and like not talk about it because they feel like afraid of what people are gonna think, or they feel like they're shame or they're not allowed.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like you didn't really do that.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you talk about it at work, people at work know what you're doing.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: How do you feel like you navigated that?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I feel like a lot of people have so much trouble with that.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, no, no, it's just one thing, like you're one person, like it's all you, you know?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I'm not competing with what my business for my corporate job.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not competing in that space.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, from like a legal perspective, I'm good.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually was a little nervous in the beginning, and I ended up connecting with an executive and sharing what I've been doing.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Oh, you just met Johnny over there, you know, he's a realtor and everyone has other means of income and you can do your thing.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like it was in that conversation that he really gave me the permission to just go bigger with it.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was unsure at first.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I did have an experience at a previous job where I was consulting and it wasn't maybe received in the right way.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I had to really have a conversation with my design principal about it.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I think you have to be smart about, you know, how you do it and when you do it.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's also women who are putting a lot of pressure on themselves is our tar, that's our target audience, right?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you ever like open the air in the instant pot, right?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that release valve, like that's what our retreat is.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're the release valve.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really important to sort of call in women who are really putting a lot of pressure on themselves to hold their hands to say, you know, we're here and we see you and invite them into the space.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think experiencing the first retreat and just really understanding how people left and how people continue to start to elevate in their lives really motivated me to deeper connect with working women and understanding the corporate pressure.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not easy and it's it can be exhausting, it's demanding, it's the way that decisions get made and you know, watching how big corporations operate, and you know, then they don't know if that organization structure is the right thing.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've been a part of a lot of re-orgs and restructuring and different leaders, and then you're on this leader, and so you have to be really resilient, and you have to really take the change and use it as a way to thrive in that change versus resist the change.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's a really good life lesson to how you want to respond and you know, to new circumstances or things that are unexpected that happen and not take it personal, not take it personal a hundred percent.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think the other thing that I always see people too worrying about is like what other people are gonna think or people are gonna judge them or whatever.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: But like I know for me that like when I started my business, pretty much everyone was like, Oh, obviously, like that makes sense.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it's the same for you too.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm sure anyone you work with that knows you and they hear that you're doing that is like, oh, well, that's the perfect thing for you to do, obviously.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's and I feel like that usually happens because if people know you, whatever you're doing, they're gonna be like, Oh, yeah, weren't you already doing that?
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or you know, they just assume it's just so natural for you to do that.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: It makes so much sense.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's really funny because in the corporate world they love like a personality test.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so a couple of years ago, we did this one and it was on this circle, and everyone on my team, there was like 30 of us, right?
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone was like in this top right quadrant, and then here it was me alone in the bottom left.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so funny to the point that this one woman bought me a unicorn crown because she's just like, you're a unicorn.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, who are you?
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that is how I show up, you know.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: I bring humor, I wear color, you know, I try to just show up authentically me and I want to give permission to people around me because yes, you do have to be polished, you do have to have executive presence, and I have those skills, you know, and I know how to turn things on and turn things off.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: But at the end of the day, we're all people, right?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: Even the president of our company, we joke the other day, do you have a driver?
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna be able to look at the slides when we're presenting?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know you're driving during the call and he's just cracking up, like, you think I have a driver?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're hilarious, you know?
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just like this really funny interplay of being vulnerable and not being afraid to say something and trust that everybody's just putting one leg on in their pants every day, you know, at a time.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's we're all human.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that's like why you rose to the top, too, is because you just are authentically connecting with people.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think people realize how valuable that skill is in the corporate world because no one really teaches it.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: They just teach you that you should like do what you're told, not like rock the boat.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: But the people who are able to create authentic connections and still show who they are and are good at what they do, that's kind of the like you have to be able to stand out in that way.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that is what separates me and something that I try to teach my team.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's really trying to think about how you connect with people and also uplift them, right?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And and someone on my team yesterday, she was like, I love how you always give me an opportunity to shine.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And like she appreciates that so much because there's so much ego out there, and people need to feel that sense of worth and they're outsourcing it.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think going back to what we were talking about in the beginning, I do think that we outsource our value, right?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: We want other people to tell us we did a good job.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to be one of those people.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love positive reinforcement.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, tell me I did a good job.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Did I do a good job?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's your whole inner child thing we that we got to the bottom of 100%.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, well, what is that coming from?
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, 100%.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: I did my inner child work, and now I'm fucking giving it to myself because I am gold and glitter, and I love that about me.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to shine that into the world and spread my wings and you know, feel fucking good and live my life, right?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's so funny because I'm thinking about Delia.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: She was at the retreat, and like there was this moment, I think it was the first night where she said that she was like learning to make soup, which by the way, like making soup like isn't like her thing or whatever.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you were like, she's like, Yeah, I'm like learning to make soup.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you were like, You're gonna make soup at the retreat.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you're gonna bring.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna come and make soup.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like she felt so seen by you in that moment.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: You were like, you like held her in that like you like saw her, and you were like, This is like your contribution.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: And she did, she came and she made soup, and it was really a religious soup.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and there was so much love in it and so much intention in it.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's I think that's it.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's confidence, right?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and also it was like it's one of those things where you could have just like been, oh, cool, you're making soup next conversation, but like you were able to like see that and make that connection and like allow her to like give that gift and be seen in that way, which is important, you know, it's special for people because people don't feel seen all the time and they don't feel seen growing up, and it's like healing to be able to feel that from somebody, which obviously goes deeper than just that moment.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think the whole retreat is about that, but that was just so funny, like that whole yeah, it is so beautiful.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: And and I do love to see people's gifts, right?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we all have gifts, we're all artists, we're all creating art all the time, and it doesn't have to be a painting, and you know, you don't have to have something like tangible, your art could just be the way that you listen, right?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: It could be something so simple, and that's where I really want to inspire people to inventory like what is your art?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: What is your gift?
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And let's share that with the world.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: The world deserves to receive that, right?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't you're the only one holding yourself back, and then try to understand like why?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you hold yourself back?
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: I actually this time of year, it was about, I guess, I don't even want to date myself 25 years ago.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: So my my mama, my grandmother on my mom's side, she sadly passed away my freshman year of college.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I played a lot of soccer growing up.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: That was my sport, and was getting recruited by division three teams.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I just was like, maybe I want to reinvent myself and not be soccer staffy anymore.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so at her Shiva, one of her friends, Phil, was like, Why are you not playing soccer in college?
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why would you waste your talent?
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it really stung, honestly, because I knew he was right.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that is my was my talent at that time.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went to Ruckers, which is Division One, and I went back to school, met with the coach, went to tryouts, and I made the team.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: I walked on.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, again, it was like he reminded me of the confidence that I have in myself and like why would I not want to leverage that and be that?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it can completely changed the trajectory of my whole college experience.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I actually played with Carly Lloyd, who hopefully you know number 10 on the women's national team.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Carly, she's amazing, you know.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: But now I when I tell the story that I played with Carly Lloyd, you know, it's really prestigious and really, you know, I did that.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: I pushed myself.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I didn't get all the playing time that she got, but you know, I was there, I was on the team traveling, and really just it's about confidence and reminding who you are and what do you want to be.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't that I didn't want to be soccer Steffi anymore, but I think there was more information that I needed from that experience to take into the world, and I got so much out of that.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: I always talk about how when my dad taught me to play softball growing up, because it was very intense.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had to like, we went very deep and practiced a lot.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I always tell the story of like I had to get up every morning before school and practice my swing.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: And my dad used to record it on VHS, and then we would watch my swing frame by frame and like like make sure it was exactly right.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: But every time I talk to somebody who was really good at a sport and like put time in to be really good at a sport, I feel like that is such a parallel that translates to like being successful at anything because it shows you the value of putting in time like incrementally, where like you don't see the result right away, like you don't see the fruit right away, but you know that over time you're going to.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like if I didn't have that experience, like I wouldn't have been able to create what I've created in my business because I did like it just shows you that like discipline and like wherewithal.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I see it with everybody that I work with when if they bring up that they played a sport, I always make the parallel, not only with business, but even with doing like personal growth work.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because you need to be able to understand that like you're not gonna see a result immediately, but like over time you will, and understanding the value in that, I think it's so important.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_00: I love this conversation because it is an athlete mindset.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think that that's something that separates some people from other people, especially in the working world, right?
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think of Kobe and the Mamba mentality, and I think all of that mental toughness, I think that is what life is about, right?
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have to be on the court to know what Mamba is.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is something you take into your everyday, right?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's how you focus, right?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's how you keep your composure, which is something my soccer coach always said to me, right?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, keep your composure, keep your composure.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like all these things are true.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's focus and it's how can you say stay consistent in the face of anything that comes your way?
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that is an athlete mindset.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I think you're right, it's the incrementality that you know, this practice over time, over time, over time.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Really, how do you start to open into it?
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I think as a culture, right, we're so in green with this instant gratification.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is programming.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: That is not true, that's not real.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Let go of that, right?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like again, there's no on-off switch here.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is slow builds that happen over time.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it is about the consistency of the everyday practice.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, how do you want to live your life every day?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to start your life?
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do you pick up your phone and go on your iPhone, go on Instagram every morning, right when you wake up?
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then that energy is going to inform your consciousness.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if you let go of that, right, that's one small thing.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want to show up?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is a blank canvas, and that is, I think, what we're offering, you know, through bliss and through all this other retreat culture right now is an opportunity to give you a blank canvas for you to create what you want to create and live your life.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Live your life.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Live your life.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, and I think that like, you know, I always tell people, you know, you're gonna start to feel different right away because I think immediately when you start to do this work, you know, you have like a perspective shift or an aha, or even after somebody's first breath work session, they're like, oh my God, you know, I feel so different.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it's it's, you know, it's your whole life isn't gonna change immediately.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: And really the way that your life actually changes is really how you decide to meet each moment based on the information that you have, and then based on making that into a practice, a daily practice, because it doesn't just like like snap your fingers and things change just because now you are aware that your mom was a narcissist or whatever it is.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have to like now be like, okay, well, then how does that change how I show up in each moment?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can master that, then that's how change really happens.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what's been so profound for me is seeing the way that people have been able to take the information and the tools that I gave them to show up differently in the moment and actually show up differently in the moment after just such a short amount of time.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I think also it's because of the container of it that's just Like so immediately.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to say it's not intense in a bad way, but it's just like you can like absorb it.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: I use the word potent.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a potency to it, you know, there's this alchemy that happens that it's so much deeper and realer and comforting than anything else that you have experienced in that way.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's something about the type of women that like you bring together or attract.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think I was talking to Ed when I was like, if Seth is somewhere, she's gonna like find all the people and like connect them.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: She'd be like, oh, you should meet her.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and you and you do something, like you're like so good at seeing people who not only should meet, but like connecting with these things that people do or the things that you like see about people.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that way you were able to like bring people into the space that all would naturally feel connected or had something really unique to bring.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I think for that reason, it just created this like energy of cohesiveness pretty much like immediately.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like I often get from people like they feel like they've met me before, they feel like they know me.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's just like this warm, safe energy that I like is who I am, you know.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think it like allows people to open up.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: I oftentimes people are like, I've never told this to anyone before, but I feel like I need to tell you.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, great, you know, I'll receive it and hold it.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I just I feel like that trust is something that I've always experienced.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's an openness too.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think you're open to people in general.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm open and I've also gone through some really fucked up shit.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I've seen some dark shit, and I think it just makes me really humbled and aware that we're all holding stories and many layers to it.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I just am genuinely curious to try to get to that deeper onion layer.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing that people say weirds me out or freaks me out.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: I just feel like I've heard a lot, I've seen a lot.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, just share it, get it out because it needs to get out, right?
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think we hold on to what we perceive as our truth because we don't think it's going to be received or it's not safe to share and holding on to things and working through things on your own is unhealthy.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, because you can't really necessarily work through things on your own.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, in a way you can, but also if there's no like container to get support and kind of like be held in in working through things, like it's really hard to really see that on your own.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: And until you get the reflection back from somebody else, it's not, you're not gonna be able to see it in the same way.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's just not how it works.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like you can't, you have to be able to share.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I always say to people too, because people will always say to me, like, oh my god, I'm is it okay?
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like dumping all this on you.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, listen, I can already feel it.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's more comfortable for me that you say it.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: Cause if you didn't, then I would be uncomfortable.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: Please just fucking say it.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: Or I think that people hold on to things because they think they know the outcome that somebody's gonna tell them.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had a friend and she was like, I was like, why don't you go to therapy?
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you have, you know, a bunch of kids and you know, you're working and you're a lot going on here, you know.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why don't you have therapy?
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Well, the therapist is gonna tell me to divorce my husband.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was like, Okay, that's like one potential outcome, but like, you know, is that what you think you need to be doing?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: And like, she's she she's not divorced and she's happily married and actually has like a new way that she's connecting with her husband, and it's beautiful, you know.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I think when we're in these moments, we think we know, and I I think that's very television.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's the fear of losing something too, because I think that's a common thing where because people will come to me and be like, Do you think I should divorce my husband or whatever it is?
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, that's like an irrelevant question to me.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because first of all, I don't tell people what to do in that realm.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I also think that when you do the deeper work, your relationship will shift or you'll have clarity on what to do.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that people assume that when they do the deeper work, they're gonna lose something.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's either gonna be like their relationship or their friends or whoever.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like that's the fear of going there, is like, oh, well, I'm gonna have to divorce my husband, or I'm gonna have to like, I'm gonna lose my friends or whatever it is.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you've read any Eckert Toll, right?
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's the pain body.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like that pain body becomes their security blanket and they want to hold on to it because it has their identity, right?
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm the girl in the in the marriage that you know is lacking this thing, and you know, that's my identity.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd rather just be that than put this blanket down and go live my life, you know.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's that pain body of what he talks about in his books and his work is, you know, releasing that.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then, like I said, like having the blank canvas to just go be who you want to be and decide.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to have that to be part of your identity, that shame, that guilt, whatever emotion is attached to it.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can actually go and be free and live your life and not be weighed down by it, right?
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes like a physical tattoo or physical quality that people hold on to.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, like an identity.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not to devalue the experience that you went through and the trauma or whatever it is, like that can be part of you, and you don't have to have that as the imprint of how you live your life every day, you know, two things to be true.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think also people get afraid to let go of it because then they think it means that that was okay, or it's saying that whatever happened to them was okay, and it's not right.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a matter of like, okay, this happened, but like this is how I'm moving on from it.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to mean that it's okay or that you have to forgive the person that did something to you.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to, you can still move on.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that's like a thing that I think holds people to that.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know we're we're coming up on time here, so let's just kind of like recap and then I know we have a couple more spaces open for the retreat.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's just talk about that for a minute too.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, amazing.
• 50:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think you know what we talked about today is really inviting people to spread their wings, right?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_00: And fucking fly because you deserve it, right?
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you deserve to invest in yourself to feel good, to live your life.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about feeling free and feeling free to be you, to be received, to be seen, to be heard, and to be comfortable.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's something really powerful, not to interrupt you, but I just I see this all the time in like like having other people hold you in like the vision you have for yourself.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not just you seeing that and trying to like embody that, but like when other people see you as that, it's a lot easier for you to step into that more quickly.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's like such a power in that.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's almost like you're making me think of like if you picked out my outfit and you're like, oh my God, I think this will look really good on you.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm like, oh my God, that does.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel really beautiful and really like glowing, and I like that, you know.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then you start to have this different confidence as you go into the world.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the biggest thing I want to help people understand is that yes, you can be confident in your life today, and there's more for you to explore.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what we're inviting you into.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_00: We have public floor yoga with Deb.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have all of the amazing breath work and inner child trauma healing with Elise.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I'm gonna do Matt Pilates, we're gonna do some art at night, we're gonna have really delicious, nutritious food.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's gonna be a gift bag with sponsor gifts and things like that.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_00: There's a nine-person hot tub, there's a wood fire sauna, there's gorgeous vistas, beautiful sunrises, beautiful sunsets.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: The grounds are spectacular.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: The bedrooms are gorgeous.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: The space in and of itself is like just so comfortable and luxury.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, shout out to Silent G Farms in North New York.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's like idyllic.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like so luxury and beautiful, and it just really makes the space that much more elevated.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really the brand, right?
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's like this elevated experience for you to come and reflect and breathe and pause and then go shine in the world because we want you to spread your wings and share your gift with the world.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the other thing that I just that I want to just touch on really quick, too, is like the way that like Deb's yoga goes together with my work is like super profound.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't I didn't really because it's so cool.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't realize that until we experienced it, but her knowledge of the pelvic floor and the body and the breath and the diaphragm and like the way all those things work is so is really profound.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: She's like developed her own way of doing it.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: She's also a nurse and like she knows the body really well.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and for me, like I'm not focused on like the physicality of anything or the details of the physical body that like not my thing.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: For her to come in with that and like set the tone of like how to breathe and like be in your physical body and understand the mechanisms of the physical body before you do something like breath work and like releasing trauma, that is like really profound and really important.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it just adds an element of like depth to the whole thing that is is really powerful.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's so well said.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_00: I almost have nothing to add to that because that was so perfect.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I think Deb is so wise in how, and she's so obsessed with like the science behind like the movements and the breathing.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that was the thing that people kept coming up to her, and they're like, oh my god, I've been breathing my whole life, but like I wasn't breathing the way that you just taught me.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is such a shift.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I think like you're spot on.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think the intention that she puts into what she does and the messaging and you know, her lived experience and her willingness and ability to share so beautifully in relating.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think all of that becomes this really magical experience with her, and then adding in yours is like hers is like the ground floor and your the penthouse, and it's just this really, really cool interplay that we really didn't realize was gonna happen that is so magical.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then I should add that Jessica Kaplan's gonna come and do a sound bath, and I think sound feeling again, just like it ties it all together.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was doing with my wrist.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and how can you really integrate?
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like there's something about the sound that I think really helps you integrate, and that is something I appreciate about Deb too is she's like you said, obsessed with that.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, cause I get obsessed with what I do too.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like there's a quality of like being you have to be obsessed with whatever it is that you do, because like you have to have that element of like a little bit crazy to like take it where you want to take it.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I appreciate that about her so much because I I am like that too, and I just feel like it shows that she's like such a solid practitioner.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I mean, that's why you guys are such critical elements of this experience, because you know, that's the intention that I'm putting in is like bringing in other women who are so obsessed, right?
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can all be obsessed together.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it's this like tenacity that we have to really try to turn people on and do it in a gentle way, in an inviting way, and uh, you know, obviously with consent.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, if you're willing to connect with us, like we're gonna take you places that's what we're all obsessed with, and trying to give you space to to grow and step into your skin in a new way and really get that confidence and that drive and motivation to place the value.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really the conclusion of this is how do you value yourself and in a really meaningful way?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes time, it takes courage, it takes a lot of space to build that.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, you have to think about why you are the way you are and what informed that.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think women's roles are changing in culture and society.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're just being a conduit for that to exist.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I feel really humbled by that.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that is the intention that I'm trying to place in the the brand experience.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I hold really tightly and I really feel honored to be able to do this work, you know, while I'm doing my other work and all the other stuff in life and being a mom, and it's a lot, but I feel really called to be doing this work and really proud of it.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you should be.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll leave we'll link everything below to reach out if you're interested in joining us.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, I think there's a couple more spaces available, so we'll link everything below.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure we'll have you back on again, but thank you for being here.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Louise.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, everyone.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: Peace.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being here.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_01: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_01: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at elise underscore breeds.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you download my Clear Trauma Cheat Sheet at elisebreeds.com.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.