Latest / Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk / From Pain to Purpose - Chaplain Darrell Hartley

Transcript

From Pain to Purpose - Chaplain Darrell Hartley · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

0:00
This entire military is 1 cohesive dedicated force and the
0:06
threats to our nations, they don't sleep.
0:09
They're watching our every move. Iran, Russia, China, North
0:15
Korea, ISIS, Al Qaeda, they may be watching this right now.
0:22
Our military should not be mistaken for our cable news
0:25
dadfest show. We don't care what you look
0:28
like. You don't care who you voted
0:30
for. Who you worship, what you
0:32
worship, who you love. It doesn't matter if your dad
0:36
left you millions when he died or if you knew who your father
0:39
was. We have been honed into a
0:43
machine of lethal moving parts that you would be wise to avoid
0:47
if you know what's good for you. We will not be intimidated.
0:51
We will not back down. We don't want war.
0:58
But if you want war in the United States of America,
1:00
there's one thing I can promise you.
1:02
So help me God, someone else Military broadcast radio, the
1:14
station that's giving veterans a voice.
1:17
Find us on the web at MB Radio dot US.
1:24
Welcome to the Propane to Purpose radio show.
1:27
I Am Your our host, Steva Fulton.
1:29
In this show. We explore the incredible
1:31
journeys of resilience, healing, and transformation.
1:35
In each episode, we will sit down with individuals who have
1:38
faced unimaginable struggles and turn their pain into power,
1:42
heartbreak into hope, and their challenges into meaningful
1:46
change and finding new purpose in life.
1:49
Through candid conversation and inspiring stories, we will
1:54
uncover how pain, whether emotional, physical, mental or
1:58
spiritual. Can be the.
1:59
Catalyst for profound growth and a deeper sense of purpose.
2:03
So if you are looking for motivation, insight, and real
2:07
stories of triumph over adversity, you're in the right
2:10
place. Let's get started on this
2:12
journey from pain to purpose. Let's give veterans a voice
2:16
through military broadcast talk. Hey, hey, happy birthday Army
2:24
250 years. Today is June 14th, the year of
2:30
our Lord 2025, and we are celebrating the 250th birthday
2:37
of the United States Army. I am of course, a proud Army
2:42
veteran from Desert Storm and let's not forget that today is
2:47
live day. So so you know, I'm really
2:51
excited to be here. It's been an incredible journey.
2:56
Gosh, so much has been happening.
2:58
Y'all saw my y'all saw self seeing saw my travels to Boston
3:03
this week and to American University and hopefully getting
3:08
some answers on just physical things.
3:13
You know, I think we all have a journey in what we're doing in
3:18
as veterans. You know, we have different
3:20
issues from our experiences and, and from really, you know, to me
3:26
that's a big pain to purpose thing that what I'm doing is
3:31
helping other veterans. This is a Gulf War study that
3:35
I'm participating in and actually have another one that
3:38
I'm meeting with the intake people on Monday.
3:44
So that's two different studies and hopefully, you know, this is
3:49
going to, like I said, help other veterans and I'm helping
3:53
us give us a voice as go for veterans.
3:56
We tend to be the quietest group out of all the generations that
4:01
have served. So, you know, here I am on NB
4:06
Radio and I'm excited to introduce my my guest.
4:12
Gosh, Darrell and I met, I don't know how many years ago it's
4:20
been. I mean, he's going to come on.
4:24
Guy probably been close to 10 years.
4:26
I think he says 7. I can see seven.
4:29
I can see his fingers behind stage.
4:31
So guys, we've been we've been friends for about 7 years.
4:36
He's missed our alphabet. He's got more alphabet letters
4:39
behind his name than I do, but it's not too many people you
4:46
meet in your path. And you're like, you know,
4:49
there's, there's more connection that we have to do, not just
4:54
from a friendship. So, you know, oddly enough, I
4:57
was chaplain of Women Veterans of America at the time.
5:01
And so, you know, chaplains like mindedness, we tend to gravitate
5:07
towards each other 'cause you just kind of know that, you
5:10
know, we need support for each other as well.
5:13
So I'm going to go ahead and bring Mr. Daryl Hartley on
5:17
stage. Daryl Chaplain Hartley, welcome
5:24
to TV Radio. I'm, I'm honored, I'm honored,
5:29
I'm humbled. You know, we've, we've come a
5:34
ways. So, Steve, and here we are.
5:37
Yeah, we have. Continuing to build the people's
5:41
Garden. See, you get it.
5:43
I'm so glad you get it. Now tell a little about your
5:48
history, because I part of me thinks that you are a Navy,
5:51
right? Yes, OK United States Navy
5:56
19811991. I am a private practice
6:00
addictions counselor, a board certified Hospice assisted
6:05
living chaplain. I am a board certified coach for
6:11
addictions and Wellness and I'm also an academic mentor, which
6:18
allows me also to transition into jails, the prisons, the
6:22
hospitals and institutions and spread not only the gospel of
6:25
Christ Jesus, but offer opportunities for people just to
6:30
vent because you know some things that that men don't do.
6:34
Most men don't like to talk. They don't like to talk about
6:37
what happened to them or why it's happening or what they can
6:40
do for it not to happen. So just to be a bashing of
6:45
support for them and women as well.
6:48
Women are talk. What I've found over the years,
6:52
it's the men. I don't want anyone knowing my
6:54
business. Well, when I met you, you
6:55
authorized me to know your business.
6:58
So here we are. So I love the fact that when I'm
7:06
counseling someone, I don't give advice, I give counsel.
7:10
Counsel's proven advice is suspect.
7:12
You know the dog barking down the street, you know you want to
7:15
go shut him up. Advice is go down and and shut
7:19
him up. And if he bites your hand off,
7:21
you know the counsel would have been he's a dog, let him bark.
7:23
That's what he does. So we have to know the room we.
7:28
We. And that's the room of life.
7:30
That's the room of what we are and, and what our standing is.
7:34
And the, the incredible thing that I found with what you're
7:38
doing and building the people's garden is that it's a choice.
7:42
People either want to be proactive about it, actively
7:46
seeking how to transform their lives, or they'll remain where
7:50
they are doing absolutely nothing.
7:52
It's a choice. It's the same choice that the
7:54
Lord our God gives to us. It's free will.
7:57
We can serve him or not. So I choose to choose, you know,
8:03
I choose to choose to serve him, just like, you know, most people
8:08
want to be able to do. And it's an honor once again to
8:11
be on your show. Well, thank you.
8:16
Sorry, I'm having some technical problems tonight.
8:19
I don't know. It's a journey.
8:22
Sometimes it happens. Can you still hear me?
8:26
Yes, absolutely. OK.
8:28
I don't know why it's doing this.
8:32
I have all kinds of extra noise tonight that I don't normally
8:35
have. Nothing but the enemy.
8:38
Let's get through it, I guess. I didn't change anything else.
8:43
So you very interesting the other day and I was so intrigued
8:53
and I'm going to add it, add it to the screen, this extra thing
8:59
going on. And, and I think what you had
9:03
even said, you posted something the other day and we're going to
9:07
make sure we talk about it at the end of the show, 'cause I
9:09
think you have some exciting stuff going on yourself.
9:13
But but I love that you post the Chaplain Chronicles and you had
9:19
a question of the day and it started out with Psalms 4610.
9:25
So this is on screen for folks if you are not with us in the
9:30
viewing side of things. So I'm going to go ahead and
9:33
tell you what it's saying. It says from New International,
9:36
the Sacred Scriptures and I didn't pull up Psalms 4610.
9:42
Do you have that handy real fast?
9:44
I I do you. So you want you want all of 46
9:48
or you just want 46? Just 4610, this is the one you
9:50
mentioned. OK, All right, so.
9:55
Maybe I can? Psalm, Psalm 46.
9:59
Yeah, Psalm 4610 Be still and know that I am God.
10:05
I will be exalted among the heathen.
10:08
I'll be exalted in the earth. So the the synopsis is God's
10:15
plan is always the best. Sometimes the process is painful
10:20
and hard, but don't allow yourself to forget that when God
10:25
is silent, He is still doing something for you.
10:31
Exactly right, Yes. So I'm going to go ahead and go
10:41
to. So you asked a question and
10:46
maybe it'll help to You asked the question, but then you
10:50
talked about the DVD below. I think it would help if you go
10:54
ahead and talk about dialectical behavior therapy first before we
10:59
actually go through the question.
11:03
So what I normally do is I've, over time, I've, you know, just
11:09
thrown information out to see if it'll stick on the wall.
11:12
And sometimes it does, but people won't go and look at it.
11:15
You know, it'd be like a Andy Warhol painting or something.
11:18
You know, we'll either look at it or they want.
11:20
So the reason why I form it this way is because not only do I
11:24
present the clinical aspect of what something like DBT would
11:28
be, but also have the the spiritual connection to it as
11:33
well. I until recently, I had never
11:37
even heard of DBT. So I'm like, I'm, I'm your fresh
11:42
Guinea pig off of the street 'cause I, you know, I only come
11:46
from the chaplain side, not the, not the clinical side of things.
11:51
So I I I know nothing. I know nothing about DBT.
11:59
So as you see, and I gave the answer, you know, that is the
12:04
answer there. It's, it's a type of talk
12:07
therapy, basically talk. It's based on CBT, basically
12:12
cognitive behavioral therapy that assists individuals to
12:15
manage their intense emotions and improve their ability to
12:19
cope with challenging situations.
12:22
It's particularly effective for those who struggle with
12:25
emotional dysregulation, which means they're in and they're
12:29
out, they're out and they're in. And so when they struggle with
12:33
that, it can also manifest as borderline personality disorder,
12:38
substance use disorders, major depressive disorder, bipolar
12:42
disorder, and eating disorders. DBT focuses on teaching core
12:47
skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional
12:52
regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
12:57
So is this going to be, you know, we have a lot of veterans
13:01
that listen to the show, probably a lot of military as
13:05
well. I'm assuming that there is a
13:09
connection with maybe some combat experiences or even
13:14
traumatic events that would, if they went and saw a counselor,
13:21
they would introduce DBP as a discussion on a technique to be
13:27
able to help the individual get through things.
13:31
Is that my? I would I would say that that is
13:34
correct, Eva and I would also say because it's evidence based,
13:40
it's there's a resort, a resource and a research that
13:43
supports its effectiveness based on its format and the goals.
13:48
The format is it involves a combination of individual
13:51
therapy sessions, group skills training and sometimes phone
13:56
coaching. And the overall goal is to
13:58
assist individuals building a life that they find worth living
14:02
by improving their ability to manage emotions, cope with their
14:06
difficult situations, and improve any and all
14:10
relationships. OK.
14:13
So we'll go back to the question that you had posed in your post
14:18
is what is the primary therapeutic goal of dialectical
14:22
behavior therapy or DBTA is to answer, challenge and modify
14:29
negative thought patterns and that and from what you've been
14:32
telling me so far, that is not correct.
14:36
The next one is to develop mindfulness and distress
14:39
tolerant skills. Not a bad and not a bad answer
14:44
at all based on what you've told me.
14:47
I mean, I know it says that the answer is B to explore in
14:52
concrete motivations and past experiences.
14:55
That seems like that's about trying to dread the up stuff.
15:00
That's not necessarily trying to get to a a therapeutic side.
15:08
It's it's called like when I'm talking about printing out my
15:12
backyard and I'm trying to get those stones out.
15:15
That's the unconscious motivation in past experience.
15:18
I'm digging those stones out and then these two against cognitive
15:25
restructuring techniques, and that sounds like a whole
15:29
different thing. Well, So what what you're on to
15:33
is, is something that's something everybody can embrace.
15:40
And so when you look at what DBT represents, you know, in this
15:44
setting, it's, it is because it's more skills focused and
15:49
present oriented rather than exploring deep rooted
15:52
unconscious processes. And so for me, when you present
15:57
these things and as I told said earlier, you know how it can be
16:04
integrated with the sacred scriptures.
16:06
Now, not everybody wants to hear about the sacred scriptures
16:09
because they think that you're preaching to them, but that's
16:12
not what you're doing. You're you're attempting to
16:14
assist them in connecting the dots of life is.
16:17
There a better plan? Is this where you're talking
16:22
about? Right.
16:24
No, so the sacred scriptures, you know the Bible, I, I, yeah,
16:30
so I, I say the sacred script. I've been saying the sacred
16:32
scriptures. I'm like 6 years old.
16:34
So the Bible. So instead of people, you know,
16:38
you talking to them about the Bible, because some people that
16:42
departed from hearing anything about the word, but sometimes
16:47
the person says this, Hey, you know, I, I, I'm looking for a
16:50
book that I can read, you know, a book that you know, it's, it's
16:54
got everything that, that, that I need.
16:56
I said, you know what, I got the perfect book.
16:59
It's got intrigue, it's got espionage, it's got murder, it's
17:05
got rebuild, it's got it, it's got leadership, it's got
17:08
kingship. He said, what is it?
17:10
I said it's the Bible, man. It's all right.
17:13
Because I don't want anybody preaching.
17:14
So nobody's preaching to you, man.
17:16
Those people in those days, in those times, they're us today.
17:23
Yeah, I, I, I was talking with somebody the other day and I
17:31
think, I think he had said he was opening up to Ezekiel and it
17:36
was about the things that Ezekiel was facing back then and
17:43
thinking about, you know, experiences as a warrior and
17:48
going through a lot in general, how much parallel there is and,
17:54
and, and navigate, you know, in general.
17:59
I'm going to go ahead and move this to a break in April.
18:02
And on my audio, it's horrible. So we're going to get through
18:09
it. Yeah, I know.
18:13
I'm going to go ahead and show this commercial.
18:15
We'll be right back, all. Right.
18:17
Join military broadcast, radio and fairway travel for the 2025
18:21
veteran's day cruise aboard Carnival Vista.
18:24
We will embark on a six day Eastern Caribbean cruise
18:27
November 9th through 15th from Port Canaveral.
18:30
Are you ready to relax, explore, celebrate?
18:34
This is a voyage you don't want to miss.
18:36
Destinations include Amber Cove, Half Moon K and the all new
18:40
Celebration key. Delight in the Dominican
18:43
Republic's Amber Cove with stunning beaches and island
18:47
vibes. Enjoy Half Moon Cave, known as a
18:50
private bohemian paradise. And finally a day at Celebration
18:54
key Carnival Cruise Lines exclusive new getaway.
18:57
Honor the heroes in your life with an unforgettable cruise
19:01
experience. This veteran's day at Sea
19:03
Fairway Travel will handle all the planning so you can focus on
19:08
making memories. Call Fairway Today Tutu 83653480
19:14
or e-mail Fonda at fairwaytravel.com or read at MB
19:20
Radio dot US. How does this sound?
19:27
It's perfect. I'm still getting this weird
19:30
background noise that anyways I'm going to have to just
19:34
pretend it's. Not ignore it.
19:41
Ignore it. Yes.
19:44
All right, so I want to what, what, what page do you want me
19:50
to go to? We're on Slide 5, but I feel
19:52
like we need to like either go backwards or forwards.
19:56
You can go if you want to talk about how it relates to the
19:59
sacred scriptures, if you want to talk about DBT and the mind
20:02
on it, mindfulness, the the stress tolerance, emotional
20:06
regulation. You know, and, and how secular
20:10
counselors and therapies utilize this for Christian counselors or
20:15
what is the veteran experiencing when they want DBT?
20:19
I think that that's probably the connection is, you know, I
20:23
attended a meeting one time on moral injury in Fort Worth.
20:30
You know how they had a, there's a book out there.
20:34
I don't know the name of the book, but moral injury is a big
20:37
deal. And I think if you were somebody
20:42
who is faith-based or want to be able to go towards something as
20:47
faith-based, but you know that there is still the, you know,
20:51
the the sciency side of things, where how do you, how do you
20:57
transition or intersect that science side to get the faith
21:04
side to? I think I'm asking the question
21:08
right. Yeah, you.
21:09
You, you asked him correctly. So remember, remember,
21:12
recovering from anything is ongoing.
21:14
You when you have arm surgery or knee surgery, you know you, you
21:18
get well, but you're seeking to get better.
21:21
It's physical therapy, right? You're getting physical therapy
21:24
from the knee replacement. Because the knee replacement,
21:28
hip replacement, you know, whatever replacement, right?
21:31
You know, although you had successful surgery, although
21:36
you're feeling better, right? Your action here is to get well.
21:43
Right, because, but it doesn't happen overnight.
21:46
It's not, it's good. And so this is something, this
21:50
is this is maybe for the remainder one's life, dependent
21:52
upon their biological age, they're going to be recovering
21:56
for life. Because let's say a person has
21:58
an amputation, unfortunately, well, they had an amputation
22:03
because they had to have the amputation.
22:05
According to the medical report, they have to have the, the
22:08
healthcare synopsis, they had to have an amputation.
22:15
So there's a psychological, there's the physiological,
22:18
there's, there's the emotion, there's, there's everything
22:21
going on here that the, you know, you used to have, you were
22:25
whole at some point. Now you're not whole anymore.
22:29
Now you, you got a way to navigate the safe harbor daily,
22:34
to be whole, right? Meaning you're reading, you're
22:37
walking, you're whatever. The same thing if you lose a
22:40
foot, if you need a, you lose a leg or whatever the case, the
22:43
body and the mind can adapt. But there are times you'll still
22:47
be sitting down wondering what might have been if you still had
22:49
your foot, you still had your leg, you still had your hand,
22:52
right? So that's why counseling and
22:55
therapy, particularly in the therapeutic community, is
22:58
essential. OK, that makes so much sense
23:03
because I know there are people who lose the limbs and they
23:06
still have the memory itch, like the toe is itching, but but the
23:10
toes not there. And, and so there's but I, I
23:15
would think from the mental or emotional side because I think
23:21
those are very intertwined that mental and emotional.
23:24
I mean, I, I describe, you know, even my analogy for the purpose
23:31
is we're, we're like a four legged chair.
23:34
And those are, you know, we have 4 legs, physical, mental,
23:42
emotional in spirit. And when you have the leg of of
23:47
a chair getting shorter on one side, then it reduces the
23:53
stability on all four legs of the chair.
23:55
Is that fair analogy? Yes, it is.
23:59
It is. You know, if you you take away
24:01
one of those legs on the chair, you know it's you're going to
24:03
wobble or fall. And so.
24:06
That's why, you know, if you do lose, you know, unfortunately if
24:09
you do lose a limb or you know, you go all the way up to where
24:14
you lose the thigh and you're up to the hip.
24:17
You know, you need a Walker, you need a cane, you need a
24:20
wheelchair. You need some sort of
24:22
alternative support to ensure that you know, you don't, you
24:26
know, have a fall or you, you have some other type of accident
24:32
that you know, you may not be prepared for.
24:36
So. Those were the those were the
24:39
obvious physical injuries that are still equally viable That
24:46
that that what is the word I'm looking for that weaken the leg
24:54
of the chair. If it's a concussion, ATBI or
25:00
something like that, that's still is a physical and a mental
25:04
and emotional thing that you're that you don't function as well
25:08
you as you did before the injury happened.
25:12
But if the if the person, the client, the patient does not
25:17
continue to put the work in those types of things, it's
25:21
almost like an addiction relapse.
25:24
So start feeling bad about yourself.
25:26
You don't feel good about yourself.
25:28
You don't feel good about people coming to see you.
25:30
You know, you begin to have more excuses than somebody going to
25:33
see the executioner on why you can't get some things going on
25:37
correctly. So you got to lay the groundwork
25:41
for a more comprehensive life to live.
25:44
And you have to understand this. You got to integrate some
25:46
spiritual, some emotional, some behavioral healing that aligns
25:51
with where you're stationed in your life in that garden.
25:55
You have to understand that the care of the person, it, it
25:59
depends on whatever times of suffering they're going through.
26:04
It highlights their mortal vulnerabilities, their
26:06
sufferings and the hardships. But more importantly, these are
26:10
the grand opportunities that it'll be displayed from other
26:13
people who've lived their lives. And certainly and very clearly
26:17
even and for everybody that's listening, it's important to
26:21
remember the therapy and professional support are crucial
26:26
in addressing the trauma and its effects that have occurred.
26:31
It sounds like it's ongoing. So like it's not like, you know,
26:34
it's kind of like doing dishes, right?
26:36
You do dishes, but tomorrow you got to do the dishes again.
26:40
It's an ongoing thing. It doesn't.
26:42
It's not a one and done. When you wash your dishes, you
26:47
should wash them, dry them and put them away.
26:51
That way, if you do come back to the kitchen, you don't see them
26:54
there, right? And yes, you may have to do it
26:56
again tomorrow. But at the minimum, you know,
26:59
you went to bed, your kitchen was straightened, everything was
27:02
clean. You put the dishes up.
27:05
You took the trash out. You put another bag in.
27:07
You did your due diligence. Now, if you have a flood that
27:10
comes in at 3:00 AM, that's not your fault.
27:13
You did what you're supposed to do to make sure that the place
27:16
was effervescent for you going out.
27:21
So let's see, now I'm figuring out where the A and the C is
27:26
for. Those were for the other answers
27:28
that we didn't cover, but I like that on this.
27:33
Of course I DBT is unique because it blends acceptance and
27:37
change their strategies. I'll go over for you.
27:41
I'll go over for you. So it's not a, it's, it's not a
27:46
because the, the, the remember, the primary therapeutic goal of
27:49
dialectical behavior therapy DBT is to develop mindfulness and
27:54
distress tolerance skills. And DBT focuses on assisting
27:58
individuals to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, and
28:02
improve interpersonal relationships by integrating
28:06
mindfulness techniques. So this is a a would be
28:11
challenging the question. The question is challenging and
28:14
modifying negative thought patterns.
28:16
That answer would be While DBT includes cognitive components,
28:21
its main focus is not on changing thoughts directly, but
28:26
on accepting emotions and managing distress through
28:30
mindfulness and behavioral strategy.
28:33
This approach differs from CBT, which specifically targets
28:37
thought restructuring. OK, that's a number C.
28:43
Letter C is question exploring unconscious motivations and past
28:48
experiences. That's not the answer because
28:51
that would align with more psychoanalytic and psychodynamic
28:55
therapy where the goal is to uncover unconsciousness,
28:58
thoughts and how past experiences shape current
29:01
behaviors. Remember DBT is more skills
29:04
focused and present oriented rather than exploring deep
29:09
rooted unconscious processes. And then and then D is the
29:16
answer is not enhancing cognitive restructuring
29:19
techniques. DBT does involve some cognitive
29:23
elements, but like or maybe not unlike traditional CBT, the
29:29
focus is more on tolerating distress and regulating emotions
29:34
rather than restructuring thoughts.
29:36
DBT is unique because it blends acceptance and changes based
29:42
strategies, equipping individuals with tools to handle
29:47
emotions effectively in the moment rather than focusing
29:51
solely on thoughts or past experiences.
29:55
And remember, you want to integrate this with many
29:58
different things because it depends on what that person is
30:02
in their station at that particular time.
30:05
OK, and you said that. So this bottom paragraph says
30:12
DBT can integrate with Sacred Scripture principles,
30:15
particularly in areas like mindfulness, distress tolerance,
30:19
emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.
30:22
While DBT itself is a secular therapy, many Christian
30:26
counselors adapt its technique techniques to align with
30:29
Scripture. That that that's to me sounds so
30:35
good. So it's if, if you were
30:37
somebody, I would think even for somebody that let's see they're
30:43
married and and that that spouse is very much on the faith-based
30:49
side, but not so much on that super science side.
30:53
This would help teach the individual how to maybe see that
31:01
both sides of the coin, I guess more or less that if you're
31:06
working on language skills, talk with their significant other on
31:12
the base side that they now could be perceptions because how
31:22
they're talking on the same language, yes.
31:31
I can hear you fine, yes. OK, no, did I did?
31:36
Did I ask that question? So yes, let me give you some
31:41
clarity for everybody else. So again, you know, we talk
31:48
about, you know, some people say they don't want to be preached
31:50
to. No one's preaching to you,
31:52
providing the information that ordinarily you wouldn't, you
31:55
know, have in your possession. So for me when I posted this and
32:01
it got a lot of. You had some good interaction on
32:05
it. So, but there are a lot of
32:08
people who just want to know and if you have answers or people
32:12
share them with them. So DBT can be integrated with
32:16
the sacred Scriptures and the principles, particularly in the
32:19
areas like again, mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional
32:23
regulation, interpersonal effectiveness.
32:25
And it is a secular therapy and my many Christian counselors,
32:30
they'll adapt his techniques to what the sacred Scriptures are.
32:34
That's why Psalm 46 really speaks to the mindfulness
32:39
approach of it is being very aware that God is present and he
32:44
aligns himself because he's still, we must be still and know
32:50
that he's God. And the Christian mindfulness
32:52
focuses on recognizing that the Lord, our God's presence is
32:58
other than self-awareness alone. You know, people just try to do
33:01
everything themselves and it it doesn't work.
33:04
That's why people relapse. That's why addiction is
33:07
pandemic, because they're doing it their way instead of the way
33:12
it's supposed to be done, step by step.
33:16
Yep, that makes so much sense. I am going to go ahead and go to
33:23
a commercial. I'm for we, we have, we have
33:26
commercials on the quarter hour. So June 12th was Women veteran's
33:33
day and I know that can be controversial for a lot of
33:36
people. Why are we doing it?
33:38
Well, you know, the history of it is, is that it gave women
33:43
veterans the ability to be that we're veterans, you know, and
33:48
get the benefits before we were considered auxiliary.
33:52
You know, members are not given benefits.
33:56
Anyways, I'm going to play this beautiful song You Can't Spill
34:00
Hero Without her from Mr. Cockney.
37:02
Such a gifted artist, isn't he? Isn't he good?
37:06
And he's in the Dallas area, right?
37:08
I'm pretty sure that coffee Anderson's from the Metroplex.
37:12
I am your host, Eva Fulton, and you are listening to the From
37:17
Pain to Purpose radio show. I have Chaplain Daryl Hartley
37:22
with me. He is a chaplain with the How
37:27
many organizations are you the chaplain with?
37:30
Spell it all out. So, so you know, that would be
37:34
I'm the. VFW.
37:36
The VFW, American Legion, Amvest, DAV, Knights of
37:40
Columbus, and I'm a global chaplain.
37:43
So when there's a crisis, I'm there for assisted living, for
37:48
Hospice care. I'm there in unfortunately, but
37:54
fortunately I get to see how it all ends. 3 or maybe 4 * a week
37:59
with people passing on the glory.
38:01
We all have an expiration date. So there is.
38:05
But also I think more importantly, you know, you get
38:08
to hear some of the stories from the people you sit with or you
38:11
involved with. You know, there's a phrase that
38:14
says don't get too attached to people, but you don't have any
38:16
choice. This is what we do.
38:19
The same thing in addictions counseling.
38:21
I have a private practice. The people come in and they
38:24
think they know what they need, but they don't know what they
38:26
need until they sit before you. Same thing with coaching, same
38:29
thing with mentoring. You know, people, sometimes
38:32
people go through and say what they've heard or what they have
38:37
experienced instead of the full experience.
38:40
So you want to be able to offer them, you know, live life
38:43
experience that they can take, that, you know, whatever's on
38:47
that shelf being offered to them and they can go and secure that
38:50
and open it up and be having a part of their lives as well.
38:55
Well, I like the sound of the way you're introducing DBT
39:02
because it's I mean, I just even the way I'm reading this on
39:07
screen that some scholars have explored how DB TS mindfulness
39:12
component can be adapted to focus on the Lord our God's
39:16
presence rather than secular mindful practices that faith,
39:21
hope and love, which is 1st Corinthians 1313, right.
39:28
Thank you. Faith, hope and love and mental
39:34
health. Yeah.
39:38
Can work hand in hand. Embracing both can create a
39:42
single foundation, a zillions, laying a foundation for further
39:46
healing by addressing the present reality before delving
39:50
into the past. Because the way I always look at
39:52
it, even in the garden side of things, is that I have to deal.
39:59
You know, I call them the. Wait a minute.
40:00
Vines. Right.
40:01
You know, from the Army. We.
40:02
You're going. Before you can start digging
40:05
anything, you got to deal with those wait a minute, vines that
40:08
are happening right here in front of you.
40:11
There is no digging if you if you don't have a space to dig in
40:16
front of you, right? And you need and you need the
40:19
tool. Right, you need the tool.
40:22
And so I always looked at that, that, you know, I've got to have
40:26
God to help be there with me, to do the digging, to be present
40:32
because I don't want to handle that stuff by myself.
40:36
Not that I'm not strong enough, you know, but it's, but
40:41
emotionally and spiritually I, I, I need this right before I
40:47
can get this right with other people.
40:50
And, and that's why I look at it on the people gardening side,
40:54
because everybody can see your front yard, but only you can see
40:57
your backyard. And my book, you know, I'm, you
41:01
know, it's getting republished. It's coming out again in August.
41:06
You know, I'm republishing it. So August 12th is the date for
41:09
that. I'm so excited.
41:11
It's with TBN and you know, I, I knew that everybody sees that
41:19
front yard, but only you see your backyard, but there's not a
41:23
lot of help out there to tell you how, how do you clean out
41:28
your personal backyard. And it sounds like for a combat
41:32
veteran DBT and what you're doing with the spiritual side.
41:38
And then I think probably my people guarding, they'll kind of
41:41
help go hand in hand with that, right?
41:46
Yes, you, you know, when you do work with the civic and the
41:50
service organizations. So being the past district
41:55
commander for the VFW, being the current post, district and
42:02
division chaplain for the American Legion, being a
42:05
chaplain in the DAV and in the Ambits.
42:09
And then of course, with the Knights of Columbus doing
42:11
certain things within the confines of not only the, the
42:15
parish, but the diocese and even maybe, you know, offering some
42:19
support to other people globally within the confines of the
42:23
church. It's, it's a humble experience.
42:26
And, and the reason why it's humbling is because you know, in
42:30
many regards you've been those same people.
42:33
And here's the Lord who's endowed you to be able to go out
42:37
and enhance the life of other people.
42:39
And, you know, you have to let people know that we're only here
42:44
for a short period of time. The Bible tells us in Proverbs
42:47
that life is a wisp of smoke. It's here and it's gone.
42:50
And we have to take advantage of of every second that we have.
42:55
So if people continue to go out into the world, you know, Eva,
43:00
this is the truth for all of us. But some people just realize
43:03
that later. The streets are not your friend.
43:08
Home is your friend. If something happens, that's
43:11
your alibi. I was home.
43:16
I was. I got cameras to support the
43:18
alibi. Yeah.
43:19
Yeah, yeah, we're safe at home right now.
43:21
Your your phone is tracked. You, you're at home right now.
43:25
You're at. Home, it's, it's recorded,
43:27
right? And so, but also it's being
43:29
recorded in heaven, It's being recorded somewhere else.
43:32
You know, somebody may be in a Dom somewhere, somebody may be
43:36
somebody may be on the street. The guy told me once, he said he
43:40
said you were all this religion, you know, whoa, What was God?
43:42
When I was hungry, he was there. What was God when I was I was
43:47
homeless, he was there. What was God when I was naked,
43:52
he was there. How do you know?
43:54
Because he didn't go poof, right?
43:56
You know he God can go. He's everywhere.
44:00
He, he's everywhere. He, it's, you can't run from
44:03
him. It's kind of like Santa Claus,
44:05
really. He's taking names, you know.
44:08
Yeah, but you. But it's always a choice, you
44:10
know, I, I always think about the, you know, Jesus and and the
44:15
other two gentlemen on the crosses.
44:18
They had choices even to the last very minute. 1 denied
44:22
another and the other one said I'll follow you, you know.
44:27
You know all of them except for John, Mr. Crucifixion because
44:35
they ran they. Were.
44:37
Or right and so a person goes back and say, you know, what
44:41
would we have done? You probably ran too.
44:43
You afraid, you know, you didn't want to lose life as you knew
44:46
it, right. And so yes, this yes, in that
44:49
moment their faith was exhausted and and it went and did what
44:54
anybody else probably on circumstances would have done.
44:57
But John was right there and Jesus said on the cross, you
45:01
know, woman, that is your son right there.
45:06
And so when he expired on the cross, you know, John took up
45:11
the mantle of being Mary's son. And So what we have to be able
45:15
to understand the, the, the work is plentiful, but the laborers
45:22
are few. So how many of us are going to
45:24
labor to get ourselves in order, you know, stop using drugs, stop
45:30
going out doing things that you know, you're not supposed to be
45:33
doing. Stop running these streets.
45:35
These streets are dangerous. Yeah.
45:38
Oh, wait, there's no, you know, my one of my fraternity brothers
45:41
said, hey, man, come. I said, man, I'm not going to be
45:43
the old dude in the club. I I don't have any reason to go
45:46
down to the club to do. My club is at home here in
45:50
Carrollton, TX. That's where I'm at.
45:52
And that's why I love to be because I have over 3000
45:58
channels that I can look through or I can subscribe to or
46:01
whatever the case is. That's what I want to do.
46:03
I can watch Netflix or Apple or Hulu or Amazon, whatever I want
46:09
to be able to do, I can do. Or as is my custom, I'm online
46:14
gathering information so I can prevent the best pieces of
46:19
information to people who need it at that time.
46:22
The scriptures teach us that we're supposed to have a word in
46:25
season and out of season. And so we need a word for
46:28
people, no matter if it's coming from the sacred scriptures or
46:31
what's been, you know, tried and proven in a laboratory or
46:35
whatever the case is. We need to be able to give that
46:37
information to people that they may live sounder lives.
46:43
So I like, I like how the way you have this outlined is that
46:48
this lays the groundwork for a more comprehensive counseling
46:51
approach that integrates the spiritual, emotional and
46:54
behavioral healing, aligning with with scriptures called to
46:59
care for the whole person in times of suffering, provide
47:02
guidance towards restoration, as well as highlighting mortal,
47:07
mortal vulnerabilities, sufferings and hardships.
47:09
And I think for a lot of people with what we've gone through in
47:12
the military service and even probably before and since right
47:18
as veterans, if someone is looking to do, are there certain
47:26
counselors that they've got to go find who, I mean, is this
47:29
where you have to interview perspective?
47:34
Well, what what happens? Yeah, what happens even is that
47:40
when a person has hit rock bottom or they're close, they're
47:44
seeking, they're seeking help. Right.
47:48
Sometimes, often more times than not, the help that there's that
47:54
they're seeking is not the correct help for them.
47:57
And it's the difference between assistance and help.
48:01
Help is I need you now. That's the nine, that's the 988
48:07
calls, right? Call, that's the 911 call,
48:11
that's the, that's the whatever call it is.
48:13
I need you now. The assistance call is a series
48:17
of resources with the help to get you where you're supposed to
48:22
get to. Person needs rent assistance.
48:24
They need lights and gas. They need you know that's
48:27
assistance. Those are resources.
48:29
But help is if I don't get this right now, I don't know what my
48:33
disposition is going to be in 5 minutes.
48:36
So let's say somebody calls me and and they are.
48:42
Yeah, I I'm asking these in, in ways because I know we see posts
48:48
all the time that we've lost, you know, 1 to 22.
48:52
But the only way I've ever known, I mean, I take the calls.
48:56
I've helped several people in my lifetime from not not taking the
49:04
wrong path. You know, I say wrong path, the
49:06
path of no return. I, I've helped several people
49:10
and I know that there are, are some that we've not been able to
49:14
help, but let's say somebody contacts me and I, I'm just Jane
49:21
Doe, right? Not Eva Fulton, but I'm Jane
49:24
Doe. What's the best thing that
49:27
somebody could do if they're getting that call for help right
49:31
now? You allow them to vent by
49:36
listening, by listening and hearing, because while they're
49:42
venting, you're taking notes. Now, if this is suicidal, then
49:48
what you do is particularly if they have a plan, they're
49:53
they're, they're already telling you they're going to do it.
49:57
So what has happened for me in the past, you know, I'm, I'm
50:01
listening, but I'm taking notes, but I'm also on the other line
50:04
dialing 911 and the person, because I've already asked the
50:09
person with their, you know, hey, where do you live?
50:10
You know, what street is that on?
50:12
Right? I'm asking questions that you
50:14
know, before you think about pulling the trigger on the
50:17
shotgun to 45 to 44 to 9, the all those weapons are going to
50:22
end your life. You know, they're not going to
50:24
miss, you're going to end your life.
50:26
So you're trying to bring them down to a place that they feel a
50:30
little more comfortable talking to you.
50:33
And then also that if they do have a home, not an apartment,
50:36
if they have a home, they can, you know, hey, do you have a
50:39
garden? You have plants?
50:41
Hey, when, when did you plant those?
50:43
Hey, why don't you go out and look at them?
50:44
You know, hey, you know, just for a minute put, you know, put
50:47
down the weapon and go out there and look.
50:48
So now what happens is that if you've already, well, I got the
50:53
telephone number that comes up, I've already given that to 911.
50:58
And then they can locate where the person is in the law
51:02
enforcement. Will the law enforcement going
51:04
to come out, the paramedics going to come out, and hopefully
51:06
there's not a tragedy that results because the person just
51:10
wanted to end normally through statistics, normally in the
51:13
person. So they're going to do it.
51:15
They're contemplating, but rarely do they follow through
51:20
because they do see the value of life.
51:22
But for those who did follow through, they had a plan and
51:25
they were going to do it no matter what you said what you
51:27
did, but it's still, you want to make sure you you contact the
51:31
authorities if possible to ensure that they can come out to
51:34
that place. That's what's always important
51:37
to know. Do you have a house?
51:39
You know you like your house, You know you live in an
51:41
apartment complex. You know how many, you know how
51:43
many people are there, right? Do you interact with them?
51:45
Do you live in a townhouse? You live in a condo?
51:48
You know, there's a point of reference of what you what
51:50
you're doing with that. Individual and are there
51:52
children there too? I think the.
51:55
Children, there's a dog or a cat, you know, aquarium, there's
51:58
a bird cage, you know, whatever it is, you know, whatever the
52:02
frame of reference is, you want to always bring them back to.
52:07
This is what you're presents being present right now, right?
52:10
This is what you have. This is what you perish and you
52:14
still can. You don't.
52:15
You don't have to do the thing that you're thinking about right
52:18
now. Right, 'cause I, the way I've
52:21
looked at it and had those conversations, I let him know,
52:25
you know, listen, hey, you call me for a reason and I'm just
52:29
praying to God that he's given me the words to tell you that
52:32
you matter, you know, and you know, I just, I just kind of
52:38
talked to them and well, I listen mostly, you know,
52:42
whatever it is that they are needing to get off of their
52:45
chest, I let them get it off of their chest and know that I hear
52:50
them. Maybe that's probably the
52:52
biggest problem is they just don't know that somebody's
52:55
hearing what they have to say. God expects more from us than we
53:01
can ever expect from ourselves. Yeah, well, I like, I like that
53:07
bottom paragraph you have on this page, knowing that these
53:10
are indeed brand opportunity for Lord our God's power to be
53:15
displayed in their lives, certainly and very clearly
53:17
supported. Therapy and professional support
53:21
are also crucial in addressing the trauma and its effects.
53:25
Yeah, go ahead. No, I was going to tell you, you
53:31
know, when I'm, when I'm writing, maybe journaling.
53:36
Or. On my, you know, nearly everyday
53:39
posting because sometimes I, you know, I just can't get to it.
53:43
But you know, I'll post, you know, before the weekend is out
53:46
because particularly since tomorrow's the first day of the
53:48
week, I'll make sure that people get it.
53:50
But it's, it's from years of council that all wipes it out.
53:56
And, and any new advances that come out, you know, I'm sure to
54:00
update those things as well. You know, I'll make a, a
54:02
notation of, OK, this has been updated, this supersedes this,
54:08
so on and so forth. You know, I, I don't look at
54:11
myself as the pre eminent counselor of the world.
54:14
I look at myself as a person who takes pre emptive strikes in
54:18
ensuring that people receive the information that they certainly
54:21
deserve. Well, I am particularly fond of
54:25
this last paragraph because it talks about scripture, serves,
54:31
notices, guides for each of us as we navigate challenges, as
54:35
well as emphasizing spiritual fitness, health, healing,
54:39
Wellness, peace, and transformation that are
54:42
essential for elements of clinical counseling or
54:45
behavioral therapy. You know, I just came back in
54:48
March from the Camino to Santiago, right?
54:52
And that's the way of Saint James, the Peregrinos, the
54:56
pilgrims that were traveling the Camino for centuries.
55:01
And I think a lot of us probably when we got out, I know I
55:05
certainly fell in that category. Well, nobody's telling me to do
55:09
PT anymore. So by golly, I'm not going to do
55:13
physical therapy anymore, right? Or PT physical training.
55:17
And no, no more fitness side. But as I've gotten older, I'm
55:23
turning into, I got to get fit, you know, I'm enjoying getting
55:27
out there and doing it for me and how much better I feel
55:33
because I'm engaging in in not just spiritual fitness, but
55:38
physical fitness. And I think in some ways they
55:41
really go hand in hand, especially if you're doing
55:44
something like the Camino, that it gives you time to be present
55:51
for yourself and for God that you don't get with all these
55:55
other people. Yeah, maybe, maybe there's three
56:01
takeaways that we have for people.
56:05
If we have 3 takeaways, we're 656.
56:08
So we got to, we got to close it up fast.
56:10
Three quick takeaways. I, I would say #1 is if the
56:15
person needs assistance and help or both, they should receive it
56:21
from someone that's, that's qualified, license certified.
56:24
You know, the reason why we have licensing certification boards
56:28
and such and other because there was a lot of poor information
56:30
out in the world that were harming people.
56:32
The second part of that is, is that take the information that
56:36
you've learned and apply it to your life.
56:38
Apply not only the Secular Council, but the scriptural
56:43
counselor and you will see that your life becomes more
56:46
fulfilling than it was previously.
56:48
The third thing is trust God. You know, you can trust in your
56:52
counselor, your therapist, but trust the Lord because he is the
56:54
chief counselor. He's the chief therapy
56:57
therapist. And also when you're in a, when
56:59
you're therapeutic community, whether it be in an office,
57:02
whether you at some center it was if your home, wherever the
57:06
case is, you know, keep in mind that if you don't continue to do
57:11
the work, it's not going to work for you.
57:15
Is there a way maybe we can put it in the in the comments
57:19
section? How can people reach out to you?
57:22
They just call me directly. Area code 469-2469, 289-8077
57:33
That's my Direct Line. 8077. 0774692898077 My e-mail address
57:42
is counselorcounselordarrelldarrelltheletterchartleyhartley@mailnotgmailmailmail.com.
57:58
Hopefully I got that right. Can you see, can you see the
58:04
comments that I did? I get that right.
58:07
If you call me between the owls at 10:00 PM and 6:00 AM, there
58:11
needs to be a meal associated with it.
58:12
I don't mean. Well, hopefully that's not going
58:19
to be necessary, but remember 988 also.
58:24
And, you know, once again, happy birthday to the United States
58:29
Army and the flags. And you know, I'm very blessed
58:34
to be here. And you know, Darrell, thank you
58:39
for being on. You have a show as well, right?
58:43
I think that was the big thing I wanted you to say.
58:46
I'm I'm revamping my show on Spotify.
58:49
It's called Above the Box and there'll be a tremendous amount
58:52
of things as far as clinical and, and spiritual and
58:56
historical things that'll be going across that people can
58:59
listen to. The shows are normally like 30
59:01
minutes or so. You know, the, the, the ear
59:04
sometimes only has 25 or 30 minutes that it can listen
59:08
through. But but certainly and clearly
59:11
just to provide information that people didn't know, you know how
59:14
the historical timeline is our ally, but God is he's, he's the
59:19
creator and the Lord and and the blessing of all of us.
59:22
So I encourage you to listen to above the box on Spotify,
59:27
Spotify or with the commercials. It's either way it's there.
59:30
I'm inviting you to come back and I think I've already
59:34
connected you with Red Perez Roundtable to come on his show
59:38
for Celebrate Recovery too. So you know, you have a standing
59:43
invitation to come and Co host with me if you want, you know,
59:47
we'll get you on the MBR side more and you can still stream it
59:51
over to Spotify and to you know. So anyways.
59:57
Well, here we. Are look at my connections, go
1:00:00
to LinkedIn, it goes to YouTube it it goes to all those places
1:00:04
as well, so. So you're going to make the rock
1:00:08
star more preeminent, Hon? Is that what?
1:00:11
You're I don't know. I don't know.
1:00:13
All right, well, thank you for joining me today and have an
1:00:18
awesome evening. Go relax now.
1:00:20
Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me.
1:00:24
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to Military
1:00:29
Broadcast Radio. As we wrap up today's show, we
1:00:33
want to remind you that the podcast of today's episode will
1:00:37
be available right after we go off the air.
1:00:41
So if you missed any part of the show or want to listen again, be
1:00:46
sure to check it out. And remember, we're here to
1:00:50
support and honor our veterans. Your stories and experiences
1:00:56
matter, and we are committed to giving you a platform to share
1:01:00
them. That's right, we're here to give
1:01:04
our veterans a voice. So don't forget to catch the
1:01:07
podcast and stay connected with us giving our veterans a voice.