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What Should I Buy? - UGLY Cars · BREAK/FIX the Motorsports & Vehicle Enthusiast Variety Show

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Our panel of break fix petrol heads are back for another rousing.
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What should I buy?
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Debate using unique shopping criteria.
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They are challenged to find our first time collector, the best vehicle
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that will make their friends go.
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Where do you get that?
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Or what the hell is wrong with you at the next cars and coffee?
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As you know, we've asked many of our guests about the mythical
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three car garage or cars.
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They had his posters on their wall as a kid, or even sexiest car of all time.
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Well, we thought this time, let's turn the conversation around and see what's
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the ugliest car we could recommend for someone else, and we can't wait
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to see what you all come up with.
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And as always, I'm your host Brad.
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And I'm Eric.
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So let's roll.
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In keeping with the tradition of what should I buy, we have
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to set some ground rules.
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In this case, we have to define ugly.
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Our usual suspects are always the Aztec, the Pacer, the Edsel,
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the Bricklin, and even the HHR.
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But if you suspend disbelief for but a moment...
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You could argue there are ways to make those cars cool.
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But tonight, we're talking about an entirely new caliber of ugly.
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The designs where no amount of mods could make them better.
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Cars with looks that only a mama could love.
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Alright, let's kick this off.
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What car would you wish on your worst enemy?
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I have a 17 slide PowerPoint.
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I only came up with 11 cars.
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11.
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That's my first three slides.
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What are you talking about?
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Well, because I figure I'm, I'm probably picking stuff that some
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of you may not have thought of.
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Like there's the obvious choices like the HHR and the Cobalt and
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the PT snoozer and crap like that.
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And of course the square bodies.
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Those are beautiful cars.
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So we're talking about ugly, but the sad thing is so many different
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styles of stuff's been done with cars.
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It's like they're running outta stuff to do.
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'cause what has been done that we haven't already seen in some concept
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of former variation on a car already.
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Hopefully all we can hope for is the fact that they stop leaning
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towards the ugly aspects and start looking towards the more appealing
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when they build stuff in the future.
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Well, the problem you're running into right now is
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one, one shape teats the wind.
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I mean, in all seriousness, next time you're in a parking lot, don't look
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at the car and they all look the same.
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There's not a whole lot of, well, that's just it.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Mr.
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You, you, you have to quantify ugly when it comes to a car because they're
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ugly, but then You, there's a whole nother, when you really do your
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homework, a whole nother level of ly out there, that is, that is easily
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distinguishable because this is where I draw the line with what should I buy?
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Ugly cars, right?
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Is that a car, like an h H r, put some wheels on it, maybe a body package,
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do some, some aftermarket stuff.
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You could, you could make it look better than it is, but there are cars
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out there that are impossible to modify and they are ugly from the word go.
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And I'm going to highlight a bunch of them.
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Making it look better than it already is, is like taking a liquid
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turd and making it a solid turd.
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It's still a turd.
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Now I will say, since you have this spread, this, this PowerPoint presentation
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that has 5 billion cars on it.
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I think Eric's first slide is just going to be a bowtie.
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It's just going to From 1979 through 19 through the present, but the three hour
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government presentation commence, not a government presentation, but we're going
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to bring the laser pointer out here in a second, but you guys can see my screen.
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Yeah, yeah.
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We got the Aztec, the vagina, the safety car and the HHR.
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So we're going to, so we're going to, we're going to take a step away
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from what I consider the mundane.
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Right?
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Because the Aztec, yes, we all agree.
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It's ugly.
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The Edsel is ugly.
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The HHR is ugly.
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The Bricklin, which is the car in the bottom left corner, is ugly.
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But so if I get the Bricklin and paint it silver, it'll look like it doesn't rain.
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Pretty much.
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I mean, people will be confused.
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There's some pictures out there.
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The Bricklin is as long as a C three Corvette, and when you put them side
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by side, they actually don't look too different at the right angles, even
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though the Bricklin is much more square.
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They kind of run a similar profile and it's kind of and,
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and it's kind of interesting.
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Sorry.
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I will say the C three Corvette is terrible.
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It is the worst Corvette ever.
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It's the worst.
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It's the St.
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Worst Corvette.
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The Stingray.
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That's not a stingray.
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Well, it's a Mako shark.
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I mean, I loved my stepdad's, but his was a 78 20 fifth anniversary.
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Yeah, and it had 125 net horsepower.
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How do you say that?
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Out of a 7 liter motor.
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No, it was 5.
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7, but it just went 0 to 60 really slowly.
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There are cars that are far beyond the level of ugly that we know every day.
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Do we want to take a trip into the truly ugly?
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Go ahead.
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Yeah, go ahead.
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Are you guys ready?
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I think the Prowler is an ugly goddamn vehicle.
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Trapped right up there with the PT Cruiser and all those.
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Yeah, and, but the thing that gets me about the Prowler is you
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could buy a Prowler with a trailer that was the back of a Prowler.
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I take a little offense to that because I have the back half of a original
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Austin Mini that I'm planning to make a trailer for behind the Mini.
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It was a factory option.
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Well, and what's wrong with that?
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I mean...
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Well, you had no trunk space, so you had to have the trailer.
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Yeah, I mean...
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There's a lot, there's a lot worse things they could have done.
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But, look how There's not worse things that could have been done.
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This is like that chest that they used to sell decades ago, like, the front
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end of a car and you put it in front of your bed and like, it opened and it
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was like a chest to store things in.
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Like, that's the same thing except you drag it behind your car.
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The biggest disappointment with the Prowler was the fact that
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it was a six cylinder automatic.
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Look at, look at my Prowler.
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It has this furious 2.
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7 liter V6.
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What they should have done is stuck a bigger motor in the
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Crossfire and called it done.
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Because the Crossfire wasn't bad looking, especially compared to the Prowler.
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What other motor should they have put in the, in the crossfire?
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And it had a 3.
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2 liter Mercedes six cylinder.
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It was a great engine.
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Okay.
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That's right.
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That was after the merger.
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The problem was they made the crossfire end up looking like the, the Lincoln
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Blackwood with all those stupid stripes and ribs and Oh, so Yeah, the blackwood
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That always makes my, my list of hideous things, but I always forget about
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it because I try to forget about it.
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, pinstripe paint job, I mean, can you imagine the pin that that
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wasn't a paint job that was chrome piping on the side of the bed?
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God, all the way around the bed, but it stopped at the bed, so it, it broke up.
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Once it got to the doors.
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I, if memory serves, it actually had barn doors for the bed, for the tailgate doors.
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I think that's correct.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it's a terrible idea.
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So not only that, but it had a carpeted bed.
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Yes, it was, it was a giant trunk.
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The concept of the Prowler was great.
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Unfortunately, just like the SSR, it was pointless.
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If you want a hot rod, build a hot rod.
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Don't buy, don't buy a brand new car.
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The side view of the Prowler, does anyone, does it remind
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anyone of the Panther DeVille?
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Well, think of Cruella de Vil's car.
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Oh, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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When I see the Prowler from the side, I think of that car.
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But like a more modern version, a concept y modern version.
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I don't know why.
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Because that was kind of the era they were hearkening back to.
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So it's gonna look kind of like that.
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I just don't like how the Prowler like went to a nose, went to a
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point, and then had just those tiny little plastic things that stuck
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out to the side for the reflectors.
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You guys talked about the Prowler, but do you know about the Ford Indigo,
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which resembles Geordie LaForge?
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It's the Forge Indigo.
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The Forge Indigo, exactly.
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What do you, what do you guys think about that?
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Talking about ugly cars.
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It looks like something that should be on Mario Kart.
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It's smiling.
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Yeah, I can see Bowser sitting in it.
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It seriously looks like a go kart.
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Now, for those that don't know, Ford designed this alongside of the
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GT90, which I'll let you guys look up on your own, because I happen
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to like that car as a prototype.
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It was the mid stage...
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The GT90 looks like Epcot Center.
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The GT90 looks like the Nintendo 64 rendering of a GT40.
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That's a very good description.
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I like that.
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Yeah.
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GT 90.
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Unfortunately, it's so ugly.
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It's awesome.
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Along with like the Bugatti EB 110, but those don't make my list of ugly cars.
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The indigo is definitely up there.
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That weird Cyclops front light and smiley face as Mike pointed out, it's
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pretty heinous, but along with it, we got to enjoy the prowler, which probably
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should have stayed in concept form.
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Next up, we got the Bulldogs.
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TT, first gen, terrible looking cars.
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Especially with the Dodge Challenger spoiler.
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Oh, that actually enhances the ugliness.
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Right?
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You guys think the TT is ugly?
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Audi decided, you know what?
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We're gonna make a SUV, we're gonna make the Steppenwolf, and we're gonna
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build a prototype race car on top of the Avis chassis, which later became
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the Nardo and a bunch of other cars.
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And we're just going to take all the TT's body panels and stretch
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them in every direction we can.
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It looks like somebody took a TT and just put it on a four wheel drive chassis.
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So that's just a TT sitting on a damn Suzuki Sidekick, you
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know, four wheel drive chassis.
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But the far right one looks like they were trying to reach back
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to like the era of like the 30s.
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Yes, it's supposed to be like the Silver Arrows, yeah.
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Okay, hang on.
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The Rosenmayer is a Bugatti.
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Veyron now and the a2 looks like something bmw released which was like the one series
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Van correct, but mike the rosemeyer is actually built on the avis prototype
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which came out years earlier Which all of those cars are built on but i'm
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saying i'm saying it looks like what?
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It looks like they took that and said This will be the Veyron.
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It's much longer than the Veyron.
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Unfortunately, it's a very, very long, but yeah, you're correct.
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So I equate the bulldogs is what I call them.
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Cause they all look like little French bulldogs, right?
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Which the TT does as well.
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I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying that the TT is the most attractive
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car in the world cause it isn't.
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And we've called the terrible toad for a reason, but I equate
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all these to Adam driver.
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Like, he's not a handsome actor, and yet we cast him to play Kylo
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Ren, and he is been g in Girls and a bunch of other movies.
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So he's, it's like one of those Hollywood stars that's famous because they're ugly.
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Right.
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So these cars fall in the, you should put CEMI on the screen.
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We're getting, yeah.
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So, so, so you're saying all of these are very bad idea.
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A a hundred percent, yes.
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So moving on from the Bulldogs, Negative a thousand points to
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Ferrari for developing the Mondial T.
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This is the ugliest Ferrari ever, and there are some ugly Ferraris, and
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there are some extremely beautiful Ferraris, but this takes the cake.
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As the dumbest idea they ever came up with, which is let's take a 308
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and turn it into a convertible.
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The proportioning I see on that reminds me of like the 1980s
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Barbie car convertible because it's not proportioned to a real car.
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No.
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I had one of those.
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It was better looking than this.
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I mean, it's ugly, but it's not.
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Something about this doesn't scream at me, this is an ugly car, it just,
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it just screams at me, they didn't fix the proportions right, but it's
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not an unattractive car at its heart.
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Until you see one in person.
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But, I will say, the only redeeming value of the Mondial T is that it
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was featured in the John Hughes film, Weird Science, just like the Mondial T.
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Turd man is also in that movie.
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So I put the two of them mentally together, turd man and the
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Monty Alti, just because it made it onto the silver screen.
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Doesn't no, it's a terrible car.
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Plenty of shit.
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My biggest issue is the side vents.
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The proportions are a little off, but the side vents really look off.
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And that's because you're expecting Tessarosa down at the bottom.
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Of the door, not at the top, and you're expecting them to be taller.
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So that's the thing that sticks out to me as the oddest.
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And of course, the convertible top stuff.
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But they are also functional because the motor is still back there, right?
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So you have zero trunk space.
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It's a completely useless car.
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It's a bad idea.
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You're right.
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It looks like a Ferrari.
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Does it have a frunk?
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Uh, yeah.
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Well, then it's not, you know, totally useless.
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Well, I guess you could, you could carry your purse.
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You're not carrying it anywhere.
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Cause the car won't run.
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And I think the T stands for turd in Mondial T.
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That's why I also make the association with turd man, because
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nobody knows what the T is for, but the Mondial T anyway, this, this.
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Piece of Italian history into more Italian history.
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So you know how, you know how L for love, well, L in the Italian car badging system
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is Luso, which means luxury, right?
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So Alfa Romeo, unfortunately, they also have a history of designing
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some very exquisite vehicles.
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Right.
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And then we have these three gems.
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Here we have the GTV six spider, which is heinous.
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If you've ever seen the back of it, it looks like it was in a train wreck.
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Shigeru, which in dialect means missed.
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And then you have the winner of all winners here, the Arna Lusso
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edition, which in my opinion, you know, the Corolla, the terrible unto
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itself, whatever, but Alpha found a way to make that car even worse.
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He's with that.
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I owned it.
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So the Arno reminds me of the only both.
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Yeah, the Omni and the Datsun hatchback that my, my dad had when I was a kid.
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Oh God, I don't even know what it was.
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So if we're gonna go with like 80s type cars, like the Dodge Omni.
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I like the Omni!
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It was the, it was the Did you get a turbo 4 cylinder in the Omni?
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That, that, you should be slapped for saying that.
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It, it, it had a Volkswagen motor in it!
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And that's a good thing?
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My cousin had one, and that thing was the biggest heap of shit we ever rode in.
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But we didn't have to ride the bus to school.
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So we rode it.
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That's the thing.
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Yes.
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I know, I know the, the house is falling apart, but it has a good furnace.
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Has anybody ever, did anybody ever drive the GLHS?
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Oh, I knew you have, right?
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Yeah, it's still a horrible car, , and they tripled the horsepower
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even at a hundred miles an hour.
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It's a horrible car.
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The best was that it had the, uh, the 4 46 pack hood on it.
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So as you go down the road at 60 miles an hour, you watch the hood
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going, kind of wait for it to open.
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They call that the shaker hood.
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The shaker hood.
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Yeah.
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It was shaking all.
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But the thing, the problem, the thing with the Omni is again, Like a rabbit.
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If you're not a fan of an original rabbit, if you're not a fan of the
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panda, or any of those really boxy hatchbacks, or the Renaults, or whatever,
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it is, it's still in that category.
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I don't know that it's truly ugly.
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I mean, you guys are putting out some softballs.
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Okay.
15:14
Oh, it's, it's ugly.
15:16
I don't know.
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I still like that Shelby Omni.
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I'm sorry.
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It looks good in black.
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Well, the Shelby Omni because it's ugly.
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It's it's again.
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It's one of those cars.
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It's so ugly.
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You have to either so it's so ugly You love it Runs one on the road
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course stuff that has an Omni and I don't know Maybe it's just the
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crazy the bright color paint job and stuff He has on it, but it actually
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looks kind of cool what a stock Omni.
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It looks horrible The Shigera looks like somebody had a sports car inside.
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Hey, let's take it chop it in half and stretch it Stick a Hoover on the front,
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a comparative car from an automaker that makes some of the most beautiful
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cars in the world, Lamborghini.
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But this car, I think it follows the same kind of, I guess, route.
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And it's the, the Veneno it's, it's another one that's blisteringly fast.
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And it's probably.
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We had an amazing car to drive, but looks wise, it just looks like
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some kindergartner took his pro tractor and it just drew a whole
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bunch of triangles and stuff.
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And he's like, here, mommy, here's my car.
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The computer said that that's a good looking car.
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That's what that boils down to, but that's not the first time Lamborghini
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has made an ugly Lamborghini.
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Because if you look at the gala, I think it was heinous.
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Right.
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It was ugly, just, just disgusting looking Lamborghini, in my opinion.
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Um, not to say that some of the older ones, the designs that led up to the
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Kuntosh, like the Jalpa and all those, those weren't great looking either.
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Cause, and everybody was doing wedge cars back then between the Esprit, Alfa Romeo,
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everybody was like, Oh, here's one shape.
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They're all the same.
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So that, that's.
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You know that that's pretty much par for the course, right?
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So what we don't know here is, and I'll fill in, so Giugiaro, famous Italian
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designer, designed many cars from the Rabbit all the way up to the NASCAR
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BMWs, to all sorts of prototypes.
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He's involved with Dallara and a lot of other companies.
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Famous Italian designer, some really iconic cars.
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So during this car, did he have like some sort of party and drinking drug phase?
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Yeah, because his son designed it instead.
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Right.
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So the one thing I, when I look at the Shigeru, A, I see the Lamborghini
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that Brad was talking about.
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Like I can see where that came from because this is much older, but I also
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see the Italian Harlequin design where you draw the black makeup through the eyes.
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It's a very, it's a very Milan thing.
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So I get the face.
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But it is a face that you really have to love.
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It is pretty terrible.
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How old was the son that designed it?
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I have to look that up.
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Yeah.
17:43
Yeah.
17:43
Right.
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Okay.
17:45
So moving on.
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Rad alpha Romeo SC and I will talk about that.
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You know, I did a search for ugliest cars of all time and there were some, some
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commonalities between all the articles.
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This was one of them.
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Yep.
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I'm gonna, so this is, this is the one card.
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I don't hate it.
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Okay, I hate the back.
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I hate the back.
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You must also like whatever BMW it is that looks like that from the front,
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because that one's hot trash too.
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I mean, the only, the only people who missed the 850 after, when it went
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out of production were hairdressers.
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That's, that's the front end BMW that that alpha reminds me of.
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Both hot trash.
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So I will admit to liking the 850 just because it's a massive coop.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but considering what it replaced, it was a huge disappointment.
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So I gotta say...
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I got a chance to see one of these in person in Italy.
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I was out with my uncle one night and we went to some car show
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that they were doing or whatever.
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And I got to see it and I thought this car as a kid, it was interesting, right?
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I don't like the body line.
18:55
Yes, but it looks like it was in an accident.
19:00
No, but here's the problem.
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When you see it in person, okay, you realize, no, no.
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What you realize is it doesn't photograph well because it's very low and very squat.
19:13
It looks like a tall car, but it's not.
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It's about the height of an A2 Scirocco.
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It's really really short, right?
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I will have to take your word for it.
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Trust me.
19:23
It's alpha's version of the Corrado.
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It's just way uglier than the Corrado, but because it's ugly and because it's
19:30
funky and it's, it is about the same size as a Corrado and it's rear wheel drive.
19:35
It's got the classic.
19:36
Alfa V6 in it.
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It sounds amazing car.
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And I'm going to talk about this in a little bit, too.
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It's a neat car.
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It's different.
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Again, they're stepping out of their box.
19:49
They wanted something that compete with the Corrado, Scirocco
19:52
kind of era of cars there.
19:54
And Alfa was experimenting.
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But again, when you see it in person.
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It looks way better and it's way more impressive than it does in picture.
20:02
So had you had you had like two bottles of wine and five pounds
20:05
of pasta before you saw this?
20:07
So you're in a carb, a carb wine crash?
20:10
To me, to me, it looks like.
20:13
It looks exactly like a Lego brick with wheels on it.
20:16
That's exactly what it looks like.
20:18
It's a Lego brick.
20:19
I mean, I mean, it looks like hot trash in a photo, so I can't speak to what
20:23
it might or might not look like in person, but in a photograph, this thing.
20:28
It's a, I don't know what you're saying.
20:33
You're trying to say it's good looking.
20:33
You see this picture.
20:34
It really is weird looking.
20:35
I can't even describe, I can't describe it.
20:39
It's, I look at it and I see multiple different cars trying to be made into one.
20:43
And it's like.
20:43
Yeah.
20:44
They don't gel together.
20:47
Reminds me of that Subaru, again.
20:49
It's one picture of the back that looks like a CRX.
20:51
Correct.
20:53
It's really odd.
20:54
Again, it looks very different when you see it in person.
20:57
Cause you realize like those rear fenders that photograph weird, it's flared out.
21:02
So it doesn't photograph well, and they only came in this color.
21:06
So red doesn't photograph well.
21:08
And the one thing about red, you guys don't realize is, or maybe you know,
21:11
this is Brian, Mike knows this is red throws off your depth perception.
21:15
So it's hard to judge what it actually looks like.
21:17
That's why if you play on a red pool table, it's 10 times more difficult
21:21
than playing on a regular green one.
21:22
Like if you've ever done it, red just throws your eyes off.
21:25
So again, when you see it in person, you're like, dude, this
21:28
car is kind of slick because again, it's low, it's wide, it's short.
21:33
I could see the flaring in the picture, the other angles.
21:36
I could see it.
21:37
And I don't mind the way the flaring looks, but it's just, there's something,
21:41
there's something that just it's off.
21:43
Yeah.
21:43
Yeah.
21:44
But it was hit with a cricket bat on the back shortened at two feet.
21:47
I, I think I'm with Eric.
21:50
I think it's, it's an interesting car.
21:52
I would actually, I'm going to reserve judgment until I actually get the
21:56
chance to see one in person, which will probably happen never, but I.
22:01
I'm reserving judgment on this one.
22:04
You're taking the easy way out, Brad.
22:05
I mean, you, dude, you owned a Corrado.
22:08
The back of the Corrado's not, it's, it's chopped flat on the back.
22:11
It's the same idea.
22:12
Yeah, but looking at that, the way that tail and everything sits up, I guarantee
22:17
you can't see shit out that back.
22:18
Oh, probably not.
22:19
But that doesn't matter because you look cool as hell and everybody goes, wow.
22:22
But I will say this, the back of the Corrado doesn't look
22:25
like hot, trash, burning, wow.
22:28
And it's like, wow, what the hell was that guy thinking?
22:30
Exactly.
22:32
He likes it because he thinks it's a Cylon in the back.
22:34
Yes, it does.
22:34
I do.
22:35
A hundred percent.
22:36
But did you guys know you can take the FSZ to the next level
22:42
and go with the Cabriolet?
22:44
Right?
22:45
That's amazing.
22:47
Because how short the roof is.
22:49
That looks like a body kit on a Geometric convertible.
22:52
Yeah, I mean the roof the roof line or the windows are tiny.
22:56
Yeah So that takes it to a whole nother level of ugly.
22:59
So again when I look at the sz I don't think it's terrible,
23:03
but the convertible version.
23:05
Holy cow So so I mean if you've ever seen the convertible version Yes, I
23:10
can now understand why you thought the sc looked okay Because you've seen
23:14
this and you can't forget this And so now so now this is the this is like
23:20
looking at the steaming pile of shit And the SZ is just like, eh, that's just,
23:26
you know, poorly cooked ground beef.
23:28
Right.
23:29
We're going to, it's really, it starts to grow on you after a while.
23:33
And then you start as fungus.
23:34
So fungus grows on you too.
23:36
The hard top version, dark top and the red bottom.
23:39
Especially in that right picture reminds me of like the talons how they
23:44
had the right top and then the green.
23:47
The eclipses it's, it's ugly.
23:49
It's ugly from the front, the headlights, the, the, the, the hood, this weird
23:54
nose that it looks like it has.
23:56
Cause they ridged the headlight down to the center triangle grill.
24:00
Those headlights are garbage.
24:02
The side, especially from the back, it looks like it was
24:05
in an accident that somebody.
24:07
In a big, huge pickup truck, just t boned it in the quarter panel, the
24:11
rear lights, fine, it's a single bar, but then there's this, you know,
24:18
eight foot of trunk lid, you know, and then this weird wing, or whatever.
24:24
It has a highbrow, highbrow, Neanderthal.
24:28
I just picked up something on this picture, the right picture
24:30
there, that Stands out to me.
24:34
Now I understand why Eric doesn't mind it because the hood line there
24:38
is very similar to that on a Viper.
24:40
Yeah, that makes sense.
24:43
You being a Viper fanboy.
24:44
Now I see it next.
24:46
All right, so up next dad ass.
24:50
These are some of the worst rear ends that I could find.
24:54
And the Arna makes the list yet again, because that car is terrible from
25:00
every angle you look at the Marlin.
25:03
I don't understand how they designed that car.
25:05
If you want to talk about 11 million feet of a rear end, the Marlin takes the
25:10
cake and it's all one contiguous piece.
25:13
I don't even know how they developed that glass and the glass retracts.
25:17
I mean, it's terrible, but the Cerbera looks like an ogre.
25:22
And when you, and I have to take it from this angle because it's the
25:25
only flattering angle, it literally has tusks coming out the back.
25:31
It's like you could sit on that and have lunch with the exactly.
25:34
It's functional bonus.
25:36
Hey, I, I really liked the Cerbera.
25:39
I'm a huge TVR fan though.
25:41
And only look at the line body line down the right.
25:44
It's a Viper again.
25:46
But yeah, I mean, the Sabera is the, is the sticking your jaw way out and putting
25:51
your, your, your closing air, but it, it, uh, it's functional just like, you know,
25:57
a spoiler makes a nice, uh, picnic table.
26:00
That's not how they came.
26:01
That's just the body kit.
26:02
Did it have function to get downforce?
26:03
No, that is a factory build for that car.
26:07
That is not a body kit.
26:08
That came from TVR that way.
26:10
I think it's the Cerbera Speed 12 or something like that.
26:13
Yeah, it's terrible.
26:15
I'm sorry.
26:15
That's pretty ugly.
26:17
I still see your voice.
26:19
All right, next.
26:21
Soviet block cars, right?
26:23
These are the Clint Howard of vehicles did.
26:26
They don't get uglier than the Fiat 128.
26:29
I love I love the Clint Howard forehead and the scion Hakko forehead.
26:34
Right?
26:35
I'm saying man, like there's a whole lot of the frickin Trabant.
26:41
Like there's a bunch of other Fiat's the 127 the 131 really in its plain form.
26:46
They're just East German, you know, Soviet, just bricks on wheels.
26:53
You want to talk about, I'm going to throw it out there.
26:55
I like you, but many people don't the Hillman.
26:58
Am I like it?
26:59
My God, the amp is, it is, but ugly.
27:05
The Hillman super amp is awesome.
27:06
It is, but that's another multiple roof line.
27:10
I like that.
27:11
I don't know why I like the roof height.
27:14
As someone who's tall.
27:16
So I'm okay with this.
27:18
So you say you like the roof height, but you have to realize that's
27:20
probably like a foot tall total.
27:22
So I didn't look time your left shoe.
27:25
I mean, come on.
27:27
And it has the, uh, yeah, I don't really bad when you look at a car
27:32
like the Hakko there and you go.
27:34
Is the multi plug better looking than that, right?
27:40
But it's still not, but I had to stop and think about it.
27:42
The thing, the angle of that Hako picture makes it look like the
27:46
windshield is slanted in reverse.
27:48
Yes.
27:49
It makes it look like it comes out from the base of the windshield
27:52
and then goes back again.
27:54
Yes.
27:55
But again, again, again, there's, these are ugly cars.
28:00
Nienderbrow.
28:01
Would anybody use trendsetter and fashion in the Soviet in the same way?
28:06
Yeah, a hundred percent.
28:07
No.
28:07
But you want to talk ugly.
28:09
I mean that you're talking, that's ugly straight up.
28:11
Right.
28:12
And the Lada, the Trabant, they're based like the Lada, especially,
28:16
and some of the other Russian cars, they're based on terrible Fiat, right?
28:20
So it's like, Oh my God.
28:23
Talk about ugly.
28:24
So anyway, moving on from that.
28:25
Well, no, so, so the cyan Hakko is how the Japanese thought a
28:30
Russian looks in a sweatsuit.
28:35
It's missing the Adidas stripes down the side.
28:38
And the gold chain.
28:39
But, but still.
28:41
I just like the fact that Brad picked up on the resemblance
28:44
from the Hakko to Clint Howard.
28:45
Oh my God.
28:46
It's totally his forehead.
28:47
Right?
28:49
The French.
28:49
Oh my God.
28:50
The French.
28:51
I mean, you want to talk about quintessentially ugly vehicles.
28:55
The French.
28:56
Yeah.
28:56
Take the cake.
28:57
And one of my absolute top of the list, French terrible cars is the
29:02
ami, which means friend Monami.
29:04
So the first generation, which is the middle picture in the right picture.
29:08
I mean, from every angle, this car is terrible, especially from the front.
29:11
When you look at it, it has a face.
29:13
And obviously the people at Citroen were like, I want to see how
29:16
complicated I can make the hood.
29:18
It's bad, straight up, bad period, bad.
29:20
And then they decided we're going to make the ami.
29:24
Generation, which, you know, by all means, it's very plain, very
29:29
kind of, you know, uh, utilitarian, but it is still a very ugly car.
29:35
It's very 70s.
29:36
The original looks like a bug.
29:38
This is what happens when you put any freeze...
29:41
This is what happens when you put any freeze in the wine to prematurely age it.
29:45
Laughter So, I've never understood why so many of these cars look like a dog
29:52
dragging their ass against the carpet.
29:53
Right.
29:54
Because the ass and squats, I've never understood why
29:56
they designed them like that.
29:58
It's like, there's no explanation for it.
30:00
It just is.
30:01
It exists.
30:02
It exists.
30:03
Therefore it is.
30:03
It's, it's like surrealism, right?
30:05
You're just like, you look at it and go, oh, it's French.
30:09
It's three bottles in.
30:10
That's what it is.
30:11
The hydropneumatic suspension.
30:13
Yes.
30:13
Like the, like the De Chavot, correct?
30:15
Yeah.
30:16
Or no, the ones that, you know, would raise up and down the pneumatic.
30:20
Moving on from the AMI.
30:21
We go to the goddess herself, the Citroen DS, this car literally angers me.
30:30
I've seen too many.
30:32
I hate this thing.
30:33
It is terrible.
30:34
Everybody says it's one of the most gorgeous cars ever produced.
30:37
I think it is one of the most heinous vehicles.
30:39
It looks like a pill bug, potato bug, water bug, whatever you call them.
30:43
It's fugly from every angle.
30:46
It never got better.
30:48
It only got worse and they built it for like a hundred years.
30:52
It doesn't anger me.
30:54
There's no way this is one of the most gorgeous cars in the world.
30:57
No way.
30:58
It's not gorgeous, but it's not...
31:00
I see it as the, you know, it's a plain Jane car.
31:04
It's not an ugly car.
31:06
It's not an attractive car.
31:08
It's just a car.
31:11
It's like the Camry of the time.
31:13
That fiat, whatever, was just a car.
31:16
This is ugly . This is terrible.
31:22
I mean, it, it, it looks like trying to capture that teardrop shape
31:28
before they understood aerodynamics.
31:31
I mean, I can sort of, the upper right picture, it's like, okay, I
31:34
squint a little bit and blink really fast at the same time, and I see
31:38
a SOB in profile and I don't know.
31:42
Matt, what, how do you feel about the dss?
31:44
I'm sure you don't.
31:45
Matt has left the building.
31:46
That's how he feels about it.
31:48
He hated it so much.
31:49
He got blessed.
31:51
Listen to you guys.
31:52
No, those are, they were hideous.
31:54
Senator Haley hideous.
31:55
Now the kicker is that the Citroen SM is so similar.
31:59
That's true.
32:00
And yet we like the SM because.
32:02
It had a Maserati engine in it.
32:04
Maybe that's a case of where it's so ugly it looks good.
32:07
I just realized something.
32:08
The Citroen you were just showing.
32:10
The DS?
32:10
Yeah.
32:11
Which Dr.
32:12
Seuss had those cars in it?
32:17
Really?
32:17
I don't remember that.
32:19
I'm telling you, one of the Dr.
32:20
Seuss movies had them cars running around in town.
32:23
I wouldn't be surprised.
32:25
I'm just trying to think which one it was.
32:27
If you look up the Di er, the DS, not the Diane.
32:30
The Diane came later.
32:31
If you look up the DS, there's lots of articles that are like, Oh, one
32:33
of the prettiest French cars and one of the gorgeous cars of all time.
32:37
And I just do not see it.
32:39
I hate this.
32:40
And what made me mad, what, I don't know why I have an association, but if you
32:44
ever watched the original Highlander, Adrian Paul drove one of these after
32:49
he got rid of his Thunderbird because they moved back to France or whatever.
32:53
And so for whatever reason, when I saw him driving this, it just,
32:58
it just lit a fire inside me.
33:00
And I hate this thing.
33:01
To me, this car epitomizes what it means to be French.
33:05
Because it exudes a certain arrogance when you have no
33:09
reason to actually be arrogant.
33:11
Well, and, and, and you, you said it yourself.
33:13
You said articles describe it as the prettiest French car.
33:19
That's not saying much bingo.
33:21
So although the Renault Megane and the Renault Clio are actually really
33:26
good looking cars to me, I will give you that some of the generations.
33:29
Yeah.
33:29
But it's like, you know, it's, there's not much you can say the prettiest French car.
33:35
Okay.
33:35
You know, it's the best toilet wine.
33:42
It's the best hooch you can buy.
33:44
The DS gets my blood pressure up, but we'll move on from that.
33:48
And we'll talk about cars that look like fish.
33:50
And there's a lot of them.
33:52
So as you can see on the screen, we have a Stutz Bearcat.
33:55
We have a car that I can't pronounce the name and we have the MR2 TTE along with
34:00
the Marcos Mantis which is a British car and these are pretty terrible.
34:06
Real quick, did you by any chance put in this PowerPoint, the will I am car because
34:13
that car is fucking atrocious to I did.
34:16
I did not.
34:18
I don't have to pull that up.
34:20
We will.
34:20
We'll go back to that.
34:21
But these cars to me all look like fish.
34:24
So so the the Mitsubishi Orochi Yes, actually is a good looking
34:30
car except for the front bumper.
34:33
No, it's not.
34:34
No, there's no way that has out of power Rangers.
34:37
I mean, it looks like it's smirking at me.
34:40
So, I mean, like if you get rid of the headlights in the front bumper, the rest
34:44
of the lines are actually very sports car y, but the problem is you can't
34:48
get past looking at the front bumper.
34:51
No, it's not good looking at all.
34:52
It kind of looks like a Jaguar HGT 20S.
34:55
I can't get past the fact that this thing needs to be filleted and
34:58
put into a rice roll and served to me with some spicy yum yum sauce.
35:02
I mean, it looks like something I would pull out at the sushi bar.
35:05
Now, the Bearcat is god awful.
35:08
Yes.
35:09
Pontiac.
35:10
Pontiac should be embarrassed.
35:12
Well, it wasn't technically a Pontiac.
35:14
Yeah, it's a Pontiac base.
35:16
It was built on a G body platform, but it also had Italian designing in it.
35:20
The worst thing is, like, they had multiple different variations
35:23
of powertrains and stuff.
35:25
Well, that that in the, uh, what was the Excalibur?
35:28
You remember, you remember the Excalibur that looks?
35:30
Kind of like the thirties car, but not right.
35:33
I think, I think Dan should take his, his Bonneville and you should
35:38
give it the bear cat treatment.
35:40
Slap you.
35:41
It's not on three.
35:42
Oh, your grand Prix or whatever.
35:43
I actually had a G body car when I was in guy school and Jesus to
35:47
know that that was built on a G body that depresses me because I
35:50
had a Cutlass Supreme Coupe G body.
35:53
Is that on this list?
35:54
It should be.
35:55
I actually liked that.
35:56
So, you know, that was the weird cut list that had the like
35:59
grills that were on springs.
36:01
So like, if you hit something, the grill would spring into the car,
36:04
but the rest of the bumper didn't.
36:05
So it's pointless.
36:07
That car that's that's Bearcat is offends me deeply.
36:11
Yeah, right thing back in the 80s when they were making them.
36:14
I think if I recall correctly, they were starting out at around like 85, 000.
36:19
I wouldn't give you 85 cents for that thing.
36:22
I'm saying that wasn't the model, but like, I know Elvis Presley had one.
36:27
I bet you can see really well at night with those headlights
36:30
that are bigger than my head.
36:32
To Tanya's point earlier, that car just screams Disney Villain.
36:38
Yes, it does.
36:38
Yes.
36:39
The problem with those headlights is you had to fill them with whale oil and then
36:42
ignite them in order for them to work.
36:43
No, other than Disney Villain, it screamed 1970s pimp.
36:48
So, yeah, I had an 80s G Body, not a 70s.
36:51
Now, I will say the MR2TT looks like a Dustbuster with a nose.
36:57
Right.
36:58
For some reason I see that and I don't know if it handles with them,
37:00
but I'd like to take it on track.
37:02
I would drive the heck out of that car, but look at the door.
37:05
To me, it reminds me of an aerial add on, but the doors I can see where
37:09
the Senate got the door idea from.
37:11
So, I mean, the fact that I wouldn't Montana track is
37:14
the fact that it's so ugly.
37:16
I wouldn't put it in a wall, but here's the thing.
37:17
Here's the thing, though, that MR two, if you drove down the road and
37:20
then MR two and you were talking about the alpha, And how people would
37:23
be laughing at you, dude, I wouldn't be caught dead driving on the track.
37:27
I drive that going down the road.
37:29
No way.
37:29
At least the alpha people go, what the hell is that this?
37:32
They would physically either vomit or laugh to the point of crying.
37:36
Nobody knows what it is.
37:37
The MRQS is a great car because it handled really well, but it was just
37:42
the styling was confused, terrible.
37:45
Well, and there's, and there's no storage space at all.
37:48
I looked at one once at a dealership.
37:50
And, um, you, you could not pack for a nudist weekend.
37:56
Not only that, they were the first to offer a manumatic transmission.
38:00
You know, a, a, a paddle shifter.
38:02
And you know why it didn't sell?
38:04
Because it did not have an automatic mode.
38:06
Oh, wow.
38:07
So a lot of people blew their engines up.
38:09
Yeah, a hundred percent stuck in first gear.
38:11
No, they, well, they didn't buy it because it was too fucking small.
38:14
I mean, it's a waste of money.
38:16
So then we have this piece of excellent French engineering, and you all
38:20
were talking about how the interior has to be better than the exterior.
38:24
Well, this is literally called the Karin.
38:27
And when I saw this, I was like, somebody call the manager.
38:31
Because this.
38:33
Is an ugly, ugly car, but leave it to the French to take it to the next level.
38:39
I think I saw this in Total Recall.
38:41
That's 1980s sci fi right there.
38:43
That's what they thought we'd be driving now.
38:45
I mean, well, actually that middle picture, it's very cyber trucky.
38:49
Just take the headlights away.
38:51
Nothing sucks like Electrolux.
38:58
I just like the fact that the interior shot was taken by opening the lift
39:02
back, and then you see that like cyclops camera that poses as, I don't
39:08
know, a rearview mirror or something.
39:09
The proportions are, it's mental.
39:11
You sit in the middle.
39:12
I was going to say, did you sit in the middle?
39:13
Yeah, you sat in the middle like you can see from the upper picture.
39:16
And then the people sat behind you like on a couch.
39:19
Right.
39:19
I mean, and it's a moving pyramid.
39:21
Which, uh, Ferrari did that or was it a McLaren?
39:25
The original F1.
39:27
Yeah.
39:27
The F1.
39:28
So you had the single center seat and the two back seats.
39:31
This is just, I mean, this is pretty bad.
39:33
You want to talk about ugly?
39:34
This is right up.
39:35
I'm just dreading the headroom for the people in the back, because the slope
39:38
of that going into a point, you go around a turn and they're going to be
39:41
banging their heads against the window.
39:43
It's disarming.
39:43
It's disarming.
39:44
It is.
39:46
Oh my, there's a picture.
39:48
The 1980 Caron front three quarter view with the Cybertruck underneath in 2020.
39:54
They're, they're, they're freaking siblings.
39:57
And I will say it probably has more rear headroom I'll say that to Daniel's
40:02
point, you know, the passengers, if you're driving one of these, you don't
40:05
have to worry about that because you don't have any passengers with you.
40:08
You have no friends.
40:09
If you have no friends, your friend is Karen and she doesn't even like you.
40:17
Oh man.
40:19
Anyway, now, now, is it a rear motor or a front motor?
40:22
Cause you can't really tell from those pictures.
40:24
Electric.
40:25
I mean, it is an Electrolux, but you know, Uh, I can't tell
40:31
you which way stuff opens.
40:32
Like I can't tell from up or down on this thing.
40:35
It has, it's, it's fueled by the discounts you get by calling the manager.
40:40
It actually has red headlights and white taillights.
40:42
You just get, you know, the pictures are backwards.
40:44
I mean, it's like that Renault I posted the other day, the project 900, which.
40:48
You can't tell if it's coming or going.
40:49
It's got two front ends.
40:52
somewhere in there.
40:53
It makes no sense.
40:53
But when I saw this, I was like, you gotta be kidding me.
40:57
I do want to bring up one because I have a feeling it's going to come up.
41:00
You should bring up a lot Mike.
41:01
This is a flowing conversation.
41:03
All right, let's go.
41:04
But I think someone on this call has expressed some affection
41:08
for this vehicle in the past.
41:10
It is the Fiat Multipla.
41:11
Well, was that the one that had the headlights that were like eyelet?
41:14
There were There was some, were windshield level as well?
41:18
Oh yeah.
41:19
I don't think anyone has ever expressed a like of that car.
41:23
It is, I mean, it is amazing.
41:27
It is the fuggliest thing, I mean that, what an embarrassment.
41:31
Fiat, really?
41:32
Alright, I'm gonna throw it out there because first time I saw one was just,
41:37
I didn't know what to think of it.
41:39
When I was stationed over in England, a girl that I was talking
41:41
to went out to meet her one night.
41:43
And she showed up in that thing and I'm like, what is this?
41:47
It looks like the car from Demolition Man.
41:50
It reminds me of that.
41:52
It's, and the weird thing is sitting inside of it.
41:56
Like, see if you can get an interior shot of like the dash and everything.
41:58
Because it felt so weird to me.
42:01
Here's the worst part is there.
42:04
Here's the worst part, though.
42:05
The second row picture.
42:06
Don't go yet.
42:07
The orange one.
42:08
There was a version that was still ugly, but it didn't look as hot trash.
42:12
Why they decided to, to lift the windshield and add those lights there.
42:18
I mean, it was already not great, but at least you were like, okay, it's
42:21
some sort of weird van thing they're trying to do with more windows.
42:26
Oh, that looks like a Volkswagen Polo that hit a wall.
42:30
Then, and then they came up with this.
42:31
They thought this was the next step.
42:33
I mean, this was first, I guess.
42:35
Maybe the other one is the one that came after.
42:37
I mean, when you chop the roof off of the previous multi plug and put it on top
42:41
of a neon, that's what you end up with.
42:43
I mean, yes.
42:44
Well, look at the third row.
42:47
See, wait, wait.
42:50
I think I know what happened with this one.
42:52
Whoever did the design, they faxed it over to the people who were building it.
42:57
It ran.
42:58
Stuck, and that's why I lifted that section at the back of the boat.
43:02
And that's what they went with the picture to build.
43:05
I think they sent it over as a joke.
43:08
And they're like, ah, they'll never make this.
43:10
We should just send it like this.
43:11
And then the next day it went into production.
43:14
If you take this car here and you stick your hand and you, and you
43:17
don't look at the top part, that front end actually isn't that bad.
43:22
That front end would actually look pretty cool if the rest of the car,
43:26
the roofline, was something that made sense for the bottom half.
43:30
It reminds me of the Civic Wago van.
43:32
If you took out the little bump under the windshield, it
43:35
reminds me of the Civic Wago van.
43:37
The height of the windows is two thirds the total height of the car.
43:39
It's like a big old fish bowl on top.
43:41
But you know, in comparison to the Multiply, I found the car that was very
43:45
similar to it that I'm gonna put up now.
43:51
Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh What is that?
43:53
It's a Japanese French mixture.
43:57
It is the Nissan S Cargo.
44:00
Oh, god, I remember that.
44:01
That was really...
44:04
That was really popular for a while.
44:05
It looked like a snail.
44:06
Yeah.
44:06
It literally looks like a snail.
44:08
Holy cow, that thing is terrible.
44:10
What is up with that window?
44:12
That's like the uh, That's the SVX.
44:14
SVX.
44:15
Yeah.
44:15
For Subaru, yeah.
44:16
There was a Ford that had windows like that too, that went like
44:18
the bottom half of the car.
44:19
The DeLorean had that as well.
44:20
The, the, the toll booth windows.
44:22
Yeah, I never understood why.
44:25
But you know what, you know what still makes more sense than the cyber truck?
44:29
I mean, if you look at, but, but is more functional.
44:32
But will its windows take a ball bearing without shattering?
44:35
Uh, probably.
44:36
Probably, yes.
44:37
. Yeah, exactly.
44:38
So we, we love the multiple, obviously, and every time I see the multiplier,
44:45
especially in this color, I am reminded of the movie Life Aquatic with Bill Murray.
44:49
I mean, I'm sorry.
44:51
It is what it is.
44:53
Super turd, but we've covered that in detail.
44:55
I love how this one has dents in the hood.
44:59
It missed the bumper that sticks out about six inches past the hood, but
45:03
it's still got dents in the punch at it.
45:06
What was that one that they made?
45:08
That was the Mercedes safety car, something, something 11.
45:11
I can't remember what the hell the net model was.
45:14
The C one 11 was a prototype mid engine sports car.
45:17
Yeah, well it was a safety car too, just like Volvo used to make.
45:20
Now there's three versions of the C111.
45:22
The earliest ones are heinous.
45:25
They had like a weird coupe looking thing, yeah.
45:28
That picture, last one on the second row there, Brad.
45:31
That has all three generations of the C 111.
45:34
So the very first one's in the back.
45:35
It's terrible.
45:36
The middle one.
45:37
Yeah.
45:38
The middle one's not great.
45:39
And the last one, they kind of finally got it right.
45:41
And it's all terrible.
45:42
They are all terrible.
45:43
But if I was to choose one, I would choose the middle one.
45:47
The last one is the front of a GT 40 and the back of a Fiero,
45:50
but what they were trying to do outside of being a safety car.
45:53
And from that angle, it looks way better.
45:55
They were trying to compete with the M one.
45:57
So that was the idea behind that car.
45:59
It's a goal.
46:00
It's got a lot of weirdities.
46:02
I like it because it's different.
46:04
And Mercedes was stepping out of the box.
46:07
It's a mid engine sports car.
46:09
There's a lot of things that are redeeming about it.
46:11
Sometimes you shouldn't step out of the box.
46:14
Because Volvo made some safety car thing as well.
46:18
And it was equally as bad.
46:20
All right.
46:21
So from there, we go to the Volvo safety car, also known as the Duckville Platypus.
46:27
I mean, you want to talk about ugly.
46:28
This thing is my number two pick for ugliest car ever and we are getting close
46:34
to number one But I mean those bumpers front and rear I mean look at them, right?
46:39
I love the opal manta black hood though to really give it that
46:43
sporty I don't mind the line.
46:47
If you hold your hand and you block the whole front end and you take the
46:50
A pillar line all the way to the back of the trunk, excluding the bumper.
46:54
I don't even mind it.
46:55
I like, I would want to see what the Volvo front end would
46:58
look like on a car like that.
47:00
It reminds me of a Mark 2 Jetta.
47:02
But then the front, it looks like fricking some sort of Plymouth turd.
47:06
I'm going to throw out just a huge generalization.
47:09
All of their cars were ugly, but you can't, the P1800 is a good looking car.
47:14
They were known for being the safest cars, probably because
47:17
nobody wanted to drive them.
47:19
Yeah.
47:21
That's very true.
47:23
Well, so I think that, I mean, I'm pretty sure this is based on an
47:26
actual Volvo and they just added the safety bumpers too, correct, Eric?
47:30
I believe so.
47:31
Yeah, it's our, there is, there are some early Volvo's like this.
47:34
However, the earlier Volvo's of this Have a more, um, a more flat
47:40
grill versus this is where they try.
47:42
This is kind of that cab forward design.
47:45
Cause if you look at how the windshield is raked, how they rake the grill,
47:49
extended the bumper, because it's for pedestrian safety, knock you at the
47:53
knees and then flip you over the hood of the car, is it actually, is it
47:58
actually pedestrian safety or is it a.
48:01
Better five mile per hour impact bumper that actually can absorb higher speeds.
48:06
I understand it's like all of the above, and again, that's with
48:09
the sloped grille and everything.
48:11
Um, because again, the Volvos of that era, they could have put this grille on those
48:14
Volvos, but they were much more square.
48:17
So, so...
48:19
I don't see how this is for pedestrian safety in any way.
48:25
I think pedestrian safety when designing a car is a complete myth.
48:28
How about don't get hit by a fucking car?
48:31
Everything you buy today is built for pedestrian safety.
48:34
So yeah, so, so to Matt's point, and I can, I can argue why this
48:38
would be for pedestrian safety, is that it would kick them up onto
48:41
the hood rather than under the car.
48:43
Right.
48:43
And modern cars are designed that the hood actually has a gap between the hood and
48:48
the motor, so that if the pedestrian gets thrown up onto the hood, there's some...
48:53
Crush zone to absorb the impact.
48:54
So so I can understand where this is coming from both from pedestrian safety
48:58
and from a car crash safety You know, we should just adopt what they do in
49:02
the in the locomotive industry and just put cow catchers That kind of push
49:06
the pedestrians away Screw all this other bullshit flip them onto the hood.
49:10
No, no, just push them out of the way front loader.
49:15
So having b I don't care what you say front.
49:22
It hurts like hell I think your idea of pede the fact of the game of
49:30
y Based off of what type of person you need to kill.
49:32
Oh, that's like, uh, death rates.
49:35
Double points for rollerbladers.
49:36
Yeah, so it's like, I think that was the concept here because that thing
49:40
sticking out, I think their idea was completely backwards in the fact that
49:45
that sticking out there, that single point of force is going to hit you at the
49:48
knees or whatever and snap your knees.
49:50
Exactly.
49:51
Exactly.
49:51
If that thing was maybe six inches lower and then it could scoop you
49:55
up and then you slide up this angled front end, I could maybe buy it.
49:59
But that right there, that, that lops you off at the knees.
50:05
Better to be alive, alive without shins than dead.
50:09
Well, yeah, but all it's going to do is lop you at the knees and you're just
50:12
going to go whap right on the hood.
50:13
You ain't ever going to get scooped up on the hood.
50:15
Your face is going to...
50:16
faceplant into that grill.
50:18
You're going to knock your brain out right on the hood.
50:21
I mean, we weren't exactly smart in the 70s.
50:24
I think it's, I think it actually is designed to hit more pedestrians
50:27
because it gives you less time to get out of the way because it sticks
50:30
so far out in front of the car.
50:32
I just like the fact that if you notice in the first picture on the left, once
50:37
you have You know, if you've retained your knees and flipped up over the
50:41
hood and you're sliding across the windshield, you have a ridge along
50:45
the B pillar to grab so that you don't fly off the back of the car.
50:49
Did you guys notice that?
50:50
There's a lip.
50:50
Nice.
50:51
No, no, no, no.
50:52
That's not the catch.
50:53
That's like, you know, the, uh, vegetable slicer.
50:57
That's so it takes a huge layer of skin off you as you go off where you
51:01
just straight me onto the asphalt.
51:03
Once you hit the ground behind the car.
51:05
But the, here's the thing, even more than the pedestrian safety.
51:09
Anybody who ever did drive this, I'm curious how many times they had to get
51:13
out, write a note, put it on a car in front of them when they were parking,
51:16
because they went up and hit them, because how far the damn bumper stuck out.
51:19
Oh, dude.
51:19
And they, they do what the, what the 80 year old people do.
51:24
And they put the little flags at the end of the bumper on both sides.
51:28
The bumper collapses, so when they start to hit something, maybe a
51:31
light lights up inside so that the bumper, they know the bumper hit
51:34
something and start to compress.
51:36
So according to the Volvo Cars Global Newsroom, okay, and I've
51:42
skimmed this really quickly, but there's one bullet point here.
51:44
The extremely pronounced bumpers gave the car a characteristic profile.
51:49
They protected the body against panel damage in low speed impacts
51:54
at up to 16 kilometers an hour.
51:56
Yeah, so they're better five mile per hour bumpers.
51:59
They hate saving you as a pedestrian.
52:01
Yeah, so all this talk about pedestrians is bunk because they don't give a shit.
52:05
But I will say this, bear in mind, if you guys ever dealt with some old
52:09
European cars, you'll realize that they, they were very Uh, simple in the fact
52:14
that they were basically strapped like railroad ties to the front of them, right?
52:18
You ever look at like an old rabbit?
52:19
It's like, here's a piece of metal that we bolted to the front of the car.
52:22
They were not light.
52:24
So my question is, how heavy are these bumpers to be this
52:29
large on both ends of the car?
52:31
Because you gotta remember the tail end is the same way.
52:32
They're huge, right?
52:34
Well, they got away to 150 pounds a piece.
52:37
Look at the picture.
52:38
There is no wheel well space.
52:39
Yeah, right.
52:40
That's lower.
52:41
Before the bumper was up, there was probably five inches of gap there.
52:49
When they put the bumper on, it lowered it bumpers from the 80s could withstand
52:54
some decent impacts because I might have been involved in some car tag
52:57
with some friends in slow traffic.
53:01
It guardrails to the front of those old Bingo.
53:04
So that's back when we had five mile per hour bumpers that were actually
53:07
not damaged the car compared to nowadays, this is probably a better
53:10
design because nowadays you, you have a select fender bender and it's 12,
53:13
000 worth of damage because you need like five new bumper covers and three
53:17
sensors and all that other stuff.
53:19
So, you know, in that regard, this is actually a good design.
53:21
I like the fact that you can sit on this and have lunch.
53:25
I mean it's, it's very convenient.
53:26
It's a multi purpose.
53:28
You can have a fucking picnic.
53:30
You can go to a sporting event, sit there with the headlights on, so the headlights
53:34
are shining out in the field and you just sit in between the lights and watch.
53:36
So, so what you're saying is this tailgater, what you're saying is
53:39
this should be on an Italian car.
53:41
So you have somewhere to sit when it's broken down.
53:43
A hundred percent.
53:44
Yeah, absolutely.
53:45
Absolutely.
53:46
So I think you guys would agree up until this point, I have brought to light
53:50
some very ugly cars, way uglier than the Aztec and the HHR, but you've sullied
53:59
the poor name of the duck bill platypus.
54:00
Come on, but you can't, you cannot deny.
54:03
It doesn't look like one.
54:05
I will deny it looks like the Platypus doesn't have a deck hanging off its ass.
54:09
I mean, it's got that big old tail back there.
54:11
Yeah, they have a, they have a beaver tail.
54:12
Yeah, exactly.
54:13
Yeah, they do.
54:14
That's the beaver tail back there.
54:15
But there is a car that goes beyond all reason and understanding.
54:23
It re defines the word.
54:27
Ugly.
54:29
Redefines the word ugly.
54:30
Are you guys ready for this?
54:31
Are you ready?
54:32
Little drumroll.
54:39
1957 Aurora safety car.
54:41
This is the ugliest car ever built.
54:45
I've noticed one key thing is attributed to ugliness.
54:49
Safety.
54:52
So what do you guys think of this?
54:53
And this gentleman is the proud owner and restorer.
54:57
What the hell is it based on?
54:59
I don't remember off the top of my head.
55:01
There's not a straight line on that thing.
55:04
Someone took a balloon, blew it up, squeezed it down, covered it in
55:07
plaster, and then called it a body.
55:09
Apparently so.
55:10
Now this thing is designed to scoop up pedestrians.
55:14
That's a parade mobile where you just have people sitting on it
55:17
while you're driving down the parade and they're sitting there waving.
55:19
I mean, can you imagine this guy?
55:22
I mean, he is, he is proud of this car.
55:24
This is a car, he goes out into his garage and he looks at it and
55:26
he goes, yeah, this is awesome.
55:28
This company went out of business.
55:30
producing one of these prototypes.
55:32
No, I don't believe that.
55:36
Manufactured by a Catholic priest.
55:38
Yes.
55:39
So you said they were making one.
55:42
Is this the only one that exists and this guy is the owner?
55:44
So there were pictures of, well, like, I guess I found them on the
55:47
internet basically where it was like rotting in a, like a yard or whatever.
55:51
And they were pictures of them, like them with the bucks and stuff,
55:55
but yeah, this guy, Oh, this is a, apparently a running production car.
56:00
And this guy, this younger gentleman here then, because they built this
56:03
in 57, he doesn't look like he was.
56:04
Probably he's like born in 57, right?
56:07
But again, I mean, this thing takes the cake.
56:10
Yeah.
56:10
But I mean, it's one of those where, uh, there, I mean, there has to be,
56:15
I'm trying to find some reasoning of what it has and to why, Oh, here we go.
56:22
So it does describe that that front end is to scoop up pedestrians.
56:27
You're still gonna, it's taking you out of the angle.
56:29
There's, I know, I'm, I know, I'm agreeing, I agree 100 percent.
56:33
Also that windshield is bulging, bulging out like that so that if you
56:38
were launched forward you wouldn't hit your head into the windshield.
56:42
Well remember those seatbelts weren't required yet.
56:45
Okay, 1957 glass was not shatterproof.
56:48
So whoever you hit was coming through and you're just, so instead of hitting
56:51
against the glass, you're headbutting the person coming up on the hood.
56:53
No, no, no.
56:54
It's not for the person outside the hood.
56:56
It was for you shooting through the hood to give you more space
57:01
not to smack your face, apparently.
57:02
And this did have seatbelts.
57:04
I get what you're saying with that, Tanya.
57:05
But what I'm saying is, he goes forward and it's domed out so he
57:08
doesn't hit his head on the glass.
57:10
Yeah.
57:11
Because they didn't use shatterproof glass, then the person coming up
57:13
over the hood is going to come through the glass and it's going to
57:16
be the same solution as the human.
57:19
Yes.
57:19
So, it was a fiberglass prototype built on a 53 Buick chassis, partially
57:26
funded by Father Alfred Juliano's parish, but it was planned to be
57:31
available to be built on top of a Chrysler, Cadillac, or Lincoln engine.
57:36
Builds on the BO chassis.
57:37
It said, uh, reverse angle windshield eliminates glare, prevents dust, rain,
57:44
sleet, and snow from impairing visibility.
57:46
Automatic seat adjustments and telescoping steering column eliminate
57:51
driver strain and travel fatigue.
57:52
Rear trunk area is unencumbered by spare tire or other space.
57:59
Stealing accessories total area 20 cubic feet.
58:02
Oh, here's the good part.
58:04
Built in hydraulic jacks operate through push button controls.
58:08
Provide safe and easy tire changing.
58:11
Extra large shock resistant doors.
58:14
Latches are flush.
58:15
Upholstery is the newest spill proof miracle fiber fabric.
58:20
Oh, fucking vinyl.
58:27
Oh my God.
58:28
This is, it's, it's quite, um, astonishing.
58:35
It's the, uh, the new Jeep wagon here.
58:38
If the interior was made of modern materials now, it
58:41
would be sham Wells, right?
58:42
Yeah.
58:42
Spill proof.
58:43
Oh my God.
58:44
It's like the Cadillac CTS.
58:46
It was pretty interesting.
58:47
Oh, this, this gets even better reading, uh, the wiki page.
58:51
It would have been priced just under the most costly car in the U.
58:55
S.
58:55
It would have only been 12, 000 in 1957.
59:00
Well, and remember that in America, safety does not sell.
59:05
Ford tried that multiple times in the past as a, uh, as a, as a marketing ploy.
59:11
And people don't buy cars to be safe.
59:14
They may say they do, but they don't.
59:16
Well, so nowadays they do.
59:18
They buy big SUVs to be safe from all the people in little cars.
59:23
They don't care if they kill the people in little cars, but, you
59:25
know, they're safe in their big SUV.
59:27
Well, yeah.
59:28
I guess, yeah, I could see that.
59:30
So there you have it, folks.
59:32
Ugliest car on the planet.
59:33
1957 Aurora safety car.
59:36
I think we should still go around the horn and see what other people say.
59:40
So that's your number one.
59:43
Uh, you're going to come back to me.
59:44
My, my, my, I think he's a little slowed right now.
59:48
I mean, if I have to go off what was in that presentation, sure.
59:51
No, go off whatever.
59:53
I mean, it doesn't have to be in that presentation, whatever you want.
59:55
Personal opinion.
59:56
I, there's too many ugly cars to say just one.
59:59
Yeah, okay.
1:00:01
I think the Nissan S Cargo or the, the, the Multipla.
1:00:05
The Multipla is definitely a top three.
1:00:12
That's why I came before the duck billed platypus, man.
1:00:15
Multipla.
1:00:16
Volvo safety car.
1:00:18
I mean, so duck bill platypus, if you see them in person are actually pretty cute.
1:00:23
They're very confused and very poisonous, but they're actually really cute.
1:00:28
Oh, I would also list that, uh, that Karen, that's pretty bad.
1:00:33
That's pretty bad.
1:00:33
I mean, if you're going to list the, yeah, yeah.
1:00:35
If you're gonna list the Karen, you have to say the cyber truck.
1:00:37
I mean, I was going to follow on with, and right next to it is the cyber truck.
1:00:42
Cause those are cousins.
1:00:45
The Karen haircut, too, was pretty bad.
1:00:49
I will say I have a very visceral reaction to the PT Cruiser with the fake wood trim
1:00:56
and the fake back tire on the back hatch.
1:01:00
That is like one of the worst thing for me to see and it just is painful to look at.
1:01:05
So what you're saying, Crutch, is since you dislike that so much, the
1:01:08
one that rides around in Thurmont that I see regularly, I need to start
1:01:12
taking pictures of and sending to you?
1:01:14
Growing up, we had the eighties square front priest wagons that
1:01:18
had the fake wood paneling.
1:01:19
And even that, like the wood trim on that didn't feel as painful to look at
1:01:24
as the fake wood trim on the PT cruiser.
1:01:26
It just bothers me on the outside of those cars.
1:01:29
I think, I think the ultimate unicorn would be a GT cruiser
1:01:33
convertible with the wood trim.
1:01:36
And a manual transmission.
1:01:38
I mean, that is like the ultimate of the PT series cars to have.
1:01:42
Would you, and by ultimate, you mean you, you know, for someone
1:01:45
who likes getting enemas every day,
1:01:51
that's awesome.
1:01:52
I think a followup to the ugly cars should be ugly interiors.
1:01:56
Oh god, I could go on for days on that one.
1:01:58
Don't even get me started.
1:01:59
The 90s Firebirds interior was atrocious.
1:02:03
The cars went like stink, but the interior was like sitting inside a Walmart.
1:02:10
The back of those Crown Vic cop cars, I mean, let me tell you.
1:02:13
We're talking about ugly cars, and I have to throw out the fact that...
1:02:17
Looks are the main appeal, but functionality overrides
1:02:21
looks any day of the week.
1:02:22
And is that the excuse of the Aztec?
1:02:24
There's a lot of people that'll say that when they're buying a new car.
1:02:27
It's like, I don't care what it looks like on the outside.
1:02:29
I care more what it looks like on the inside.
1:02:30
And I care about all the things that it comes with.
1:02:33
Because I've heard some people say, well, when I'm driving it,
1:02:35
I don't see the outside of it.
1:02:37
I see the inside of it.
1:02:39
And that's why they sell a lot of Toyota Camrys.
1:02:42
I mean, and don't they try to teach children growing up?
1:02:44
It's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts.
1:02:49
And on that note, Brad, what do you think?
1:02:51
Is it time to end?
1:02:52
Yeah, I think we're good.
1:02:58
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