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how to be too strong for a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face and hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy like myself,
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  and also validate the victims, survivors, and thrivers of said
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  disorders. Said toxic people, said toxic
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  traits and whatnot. Today's episode is going to be
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  called How to Be Too Strong for a Narcissist.
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  Oh OK, before you hop into today's episode, y'all.
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  If you do not know, I'm releasing a kids book here
• 0:38
  pretty soon, I cowrote with my wife to get more details coming
• 0:42
  out in the next couple of weeks. To get more details about that,
• 0:44
  make sure you subscribe to my my my newsletter.
• 0:48
  The link is in the description of every video and podcast that
• 0:50
  I do. The newsletter so it's on its
• 0:53
  fire updates, all the other good stuff.
• 0:55
  The weekly newsletter, Well, here we go.
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  Yes, yes, yes. Y'all.
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  So you get it into this space right here.
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  How to be too strong for a narcissistic person?
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  A lot of people ask me y'all. It just comes.
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  It is one of the main questions I get.
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  Like how do I stop attracting narcissists?
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  How do I do this? How do y'all?
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  You can't stop attracting narcissistic people.
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  Narcissistic people are going to be attracted to you because you,
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  your, your physical appearance, your financial, emotional,
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  whatever, whatever attracts A narcissistic person to you.
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  You can't unless you get rid of your attractiveness that your
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  level of attractiveness. You can't get rid of them like
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  that. You can't avoid.
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  You can't avoid narcissistic people.
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  You can't avoid narcissists in general, you mean.
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  But what you can do is become too strong for them if you do
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  end up in a relationship space with them.
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  If you do have a parent, that is one of if you do have a boss
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  that is a narcissistic person, toxic person, whatever you mean.
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  The main way to be strong for like, especially into the
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  relationships and what not. The main way to be too strong
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  for narcissists is to have strong, unmovable, unwavering
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  boundaries. You.
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  Yeah, you just have to. You have.
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  Yeah, I know people. What about boundaries, Lee?
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  Look, you have not. Boundaries is not just one type
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  of thing. Y'all.
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  It's a it's a goodness. It's a cluster of things.
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  Boundaries. You have emotional boundaries,
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  financial boundaries, physical boundaries, mental boundaries,
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  things like that. Y'all, all different types of
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  boundaries and boundaries are for you.
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  Boundaries are a fence that you place around whatever need or
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  want that you have. Boundaries of something, a fence
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  that you place around you. It keeps things out, it doesn't
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  trap things in because if you try to trap things in, it
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  becomes controlling and not it's not so much so a boundary.
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  You see what I'm saying? But this is the very unique
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  space that we enter right here. Y'all this is a very unique
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  dynamic that we enter and we go into.
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  Like boundaries are for you. So being able to say about
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  narcissistic people y'all hate boundaries they hate because
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  they narcissists will make you feel like a boundary is
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  controlled. Hey, I don't, I don't want to
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  talk about this like, hey, I don't like this right here
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  because I have trauma in my past concerning that.
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  So can we not do this again? Can you this?
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  I don't. I don't.
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  I don't want to go here because I have trauma.
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  I have some old childhood trauma that I it this triggers me.
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  This is leave it at that. I just don't want to do that.
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  Well, I want to talk about it then.
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  But you want to talk about it then.
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  Because you can't control me. You can't think about it.
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  Yeah. You see what I'm saying?
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  They don't like your boundaries. They don't like.
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  Hey, I need to leave. Give me.
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  Can you give me two feet? Right.
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  I need some personal space. I ain't going to give you
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  nothing. I'll be on your face like this.
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  You see what I'm saying? They're invading your
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  boundaries. It's a fence.
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  Literally. A fence.
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  A mental fence. A physical fence.
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  A financial fence. Hey, I don't want to spend money
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  on that. I'm trying to save money for a
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  house. It's our money.
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  You see what I'm saying? Our statistic people hate
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  boundaries. The more boundaries you set and
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  the more boundaries you keep and the more boundaries you enforce.
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  You had to enforce the boundaries are you had to
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  enforce the boundaries. The violation of the boundaries
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  equals no more access to you. A lot of times, you know what
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  I'm saying? You have to be able to enforce
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  these boundaries as well, Because about a stated boundary
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  means nothing if you're not going to be willing to enforce
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  it. It's pretty much like a
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  restraining order. A boundary is a restraining
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  order not only on your physical stuff, but your mental stuff.
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  I have a restraining order against you on my mental health.
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  For my mental health, I have a restraining order against my
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  finances, against you know I have you.
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  You have to set up for yourself. You have to protect yourself in
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  a lot of these situations. So having strong, having good
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  boundaries to protect you keep narcissists the way or make you
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  too strong for a narcissistic person.
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  They just do. You have to enforce those
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  boundaries because if you have a boundary, they continue they if
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  you have boundaries and they're continuously violating
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  boundaries out they are in control Night you you see what
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  I'm saying? But they haven't.
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  So that happens quite a bit in the next way out.
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  To be too strong for a narcissist is be able to say no,
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  no, it's also a boundary. But then y'all that two letter
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  word covers has so much damn power.
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  I promise you no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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  You see what I'm saying? It just covers so bad because
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  Narciss hate being feeling rejected.
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  Y'all and the word no seems like the ultimate rejection for a lot
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  of narcissist and talks to people.
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  It just makes us feel like we. It makes us feel like we are the
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  scum of the damn earth. When you reject this for
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  something along those lines, you see what I'm saying?
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  It happens quite a bit when you deal with narcissistic people.
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  Y'all It's just like you say no to us.
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  You make us feel rejected. We just it it breaks us down a
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  lot of times. It really, really does.
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  It breaks us down. It makes us feel worth worth
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  less. And what not makes us feel
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  ashamed. So the word no repels
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  narcissistic people. It just does.
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  If you say no and you enforce that.
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  No, that no, no boundary. You know what I'm saying?
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  It helps you be too strong. For a narcissistic person like
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  especially y'all all this stuff really needs to be done in the
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  beginning. When you meet people, you need
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  to establish your boundaries in the beginning.
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  You need to be able to say the word no in the beginning because
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  I promise you 42345101520 years down the road, it's a lot harder
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  to start saying no later. You see what I'm saying?
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  Because now you have a fear of you.
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  If I say no, I might get hit but I say no.
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  I might get yelled at but I say no.
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  I might get the I might get the silence remit.
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  But I say no. Something bad is going to
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  happen. You see what I'm saying?
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  If I set a boundary, I'm going to get hit.
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  You see what I'm saying? If I start saying boundaries,
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  I'm something I'm in danger. It's a lot easier to set those
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  boundaries upfront, to see how people react to your boundaries,
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  to see how people react to when you say the word no.
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  So do it upfront, Don't wait till later.
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  Do it upfront because upfront helps out a lot more you.
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  I promise you. Saying it and doing it upfront
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  gives you the power. It shifts the power dynamic into
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  your hands. It makes you feel.
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  It makes you the strong. It makes you strong.
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  It just is. It's one of those things that
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  allows you to be strong and take over it just.
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  It's just one of those things, though.
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  I promise you. Being able to say no, Yeah.
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  And not being like another way to be too strong for
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  narcissisted people is going to sound like another boundary,
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  because it kind of is. Don't be afraid to walk away.
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  Boundaries. The word.
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  No, not being afraid to walk away.
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  You can't. Yeah, you can't be.
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  You have to be afraid. You can't be afraid to walk away
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  and release this person or this job or this situation.
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  I know everybody's situation is different.
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  Y'all. I know everybody's situation.
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  I'm not telling you to quit a good job.
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  But sometimes if you, but sometimes if you enforce
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  boundaries and you be able to say the word no, you can keep
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  your job. And I say keep that boss, that
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  toxic ass boss at Bay. Because they're afraid of being
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  exposed. They're afraid of you.
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  Whatever you have on it. You see what I'm saying?
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  Harassment, bullying, whatever you have on them, like you said,
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  your boundaries and document things.
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  But at the end of the day, being afraid, not being afraid to walk
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  away, it's so empower. It's so powerful.
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  Y'all not being afraid. It's just like, okay, look, I'm
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  done. I'm going to peace, peace, peace
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  out. I'm finished.
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  Because they narcissistic people, y'all don't expect you
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  to be strong enough to walk away.
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  They expect you to tolerate the stuff that they do to you.
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  They expect you to put up with it.
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  They expect you to deal with it because hey, I'm me, you need,
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  you have to deal with me in the circumstance in these
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  situations. So I mean, if you love me,
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  you'll put up with it. If you love me, you'll deal with
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  it. If you love me, blah blah blah
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  Boo Boo Boo, BBB. You see what I'm saying?
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  If this and that, this, that and the third, that's what they say.
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  This, that and the third, this, that and the 4th.
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  If you love me, this happens. If not that happens.
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  You know what I mean? It just gets into these spaces
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  right here where you get, you get a lot of narcissistic
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  people. If this happens to y'all, it's a
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  it's a space. Don't be afraid to walk away.
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  Don't be afraid to take your kids and and move.
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  Like I said, I'm just telling. I'm just telling y'all
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  everybody's situation is different.
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  Don't just take your kids and move because they could be
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  parent parental alienation and they could get you caught up and
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  tied up in the court courts and stuff like that.
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  But don't be afraid to walk away.
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  Y'all don't be afraid to stand up for yourself another way to
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  be too strong for an artist as y'all is not Don't be afraid to
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  to show your strength. You can be submissive, you can
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  be alpha whatever you want to be.
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  But don't be afraid to to show your strength in a respectful
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  way to protect yourself. Show that you are strong because
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  narcissist, the people, they are initially attracted to strength,
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  but they try to take your strength and weaponize it
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  against you and make you feel like you're a weak person.
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  Do you? You might, they might be
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  attracted to your strength in the beginning, but they sooner
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  or later they're going to try to turn it around and weaponize
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  their strength, the same strength that they admire in the
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  beginning. They take that and weaponize it
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  against you and use the issue later on.
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  So that happens quite a bit. Y'all there's I tell people if
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  you're dealing with a narcissist or attacks person, this is part.
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  This is part of the dynamic. Don't be be.
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  Be strong. You have to be strong.
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  Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
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  You know another way, another way to be too strong for a
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  narcissistic person. Y'all is not to be.
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  You don't have to heal in silence.
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  You don't have to be silent. You don't have to suffer in
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  silence. Healing out loud or just the
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  threat of you healing out loud repels narcissistic people.
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  If you have a history of exposing people or you know
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  something like that, that helps protect you.
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  Narcissistic people don't want to be exposed.
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  So they seen you, especially on social media, if they seen you
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  expose a toxic, abusive person before, they tend to avoid you
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  because like, why would I want to go with somebody who who has
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  a history of exposing people? You know, I mean, I'm not saying
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  that they will avoid you completely, but some of them
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  will avoid you. Some of them just see you as a
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  challenge. So I can.
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  And it's a challenge right there.
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  I can get that. You know what I mean?
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  That happens quite a bit in these in these situations, in
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  these scenarios. But the strength, the strength,
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  like I said, yeah, to be too strong for narcissists, don't be
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  willing to give it. Be friends and family.
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  Keep your hold your boundaries. Don't let them isolate you.
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  Because when you get isolated, yeah, well, it's just you versus
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  them. They feel like they're in
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  control. They feel like the power is in
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  their hands. Don't let them isolate you.
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  That's how you be strong. Too strong for narcissist the
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  person. Do not let them isolate you.
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  Keep your community to keep your friends.
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  Keep your family. Keep them close.
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  Because narcissistic people hate when you have these strong bonds
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  with your family and friends. They just do.
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  If you have strong bonds with your family and your friends and
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  coworkers or whoever it is, then they tend to leave you alone.
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  You know what I'm saying? They tend to not want to be
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  around it because they have to be on.
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  They they always have to be on their P's and Q's.
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  If you don't, especially if you're not, if you're not the
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  silent type, if you're not afraid to talk about stuff, you
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  know what I'm saying? They are afraid of exposure.
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  They how you be too strong for narcissist y'all just you know.
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  Don't let them isolate you. Be able to say no.
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  Set those boundaries. Don't be afraid to walk away.
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  You know what I mean? It empowers you, Empower
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  yourself. You have to keep moving forward
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  because you know at the end of the day, this is your life.
• 11:00
  You have to live this life the way you want to live it.
• 11:03
  Many more y'all that you haven't tuned into another episode.
• 11:05
  I truly appreciate every single one of y'all because as much as
• 11:07
  y'all say y'all learn from me, I promise you promise you promise
• 11:09
  you I'll learn even more from you.
• 11:11
  Also, like I said, don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter
• 11:14
  my kids book is coming here pretty soon.
• 11:15
  Y'all, It's an amazing little book that you can read to your
• 11:17
  kids. That have been dealing with that
• 11:19
  you know dealing with certain situations is is going to be
• 11:21
  powerful and my wife who's who has way more empathy than I do
• 11:26
  teamed up on it because she grew up in a little toxic you know a
• 11:28
  toxic parent, a toxic parent or set parent as well.
• 11:31
  So stay tuned for more y'all like and subscribe to the
• 11:34
  newsletter. But who this is that peace?
• 11:37
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 11:38
  Y'all thank you for watching my video to the end.
• 11:40
  I'm super eternally grateful for every single one of you.
• 11:43
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  channel so we can help reach more people, help more people
• 11:48
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• 11:51
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• 11:52
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• 11:55
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• 12:00
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• 12:04
  Y'all, thank you so much for being here.
• 12:06
  See you next time.