Latest / The Breakfast Club / THROWBACK: SZA Talks About Her New Album, Ex-Boyfriends, Sidechicks & More

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THROWBACK: SZA Talks About Her New Album, Ex-Boyfriends, Sidechicks & More · The Breakfast Club

0:01
Speaker 1: You're watching The Breakfast Club morning. Everybody is DJ Envy,
0:09
Speaker 1: Angela Ye, Charlomne the guy. We all the Breakfast Club.
0:12
Speaker 1: We got a special guest on. I'm super excited for
0:15
Speaker 1: this one. Yes, because my girl Scissor is here, the
0:18
Speaker 1: side chick zig zag Zig. First of all, talking about
0:26
Speaker 1: the whole album, just a lot of the album this one.
0:30
Speaker 1: First of all, have you never had a side check?
0:34
Speaker 1: Of course I had a few. Also did she know that? Yes, Okay,
0:39
Speaker 1: that's a different thing. Did they all know they were
0:42
Speaker 1: side checks? Aren't you marry? Yeah? Now, but you're talking
0:45
Speaker 1: about I've been a lot of a long time time.
0:47
Speaker 1: But you know, I listen to the album and I
0:49
Speaker 1: feel like the album represents for the girl who is
0:52
Speaker 1: dating a guy who has another girl. But like most
0:56
Speaker 1: side checks do, they catch feelings and then they want
0:59
Speaker 1: to be the main So about weekend, the weekend, the
1:01
Speaker 1: weekend there? Yeah? What else? So? Um, what was the
1:06
Speaker 1: other record? I don't remember the names of it. That's
1:09
Speaker 1: the only one. It seems like it's more than that,
1:11
Speaker 1: and it seemed like you connected to that because that's
1:12
Speaker 1: the life you live. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie though.
1:17
Speaker 1: The weekend is this is a standout song on there though.
1:20
Speaker 1: It is like I really did. I was listening to
1:22
Speaker 1: it and I really loved it, and I was tweeting
1:24
Speaker 1: about it, and now I'm doing a side check playlist
1:26
Speaker 1: for title because of the song why One. So it's
1:32
Speaker 1: more so I think you have to put your lips
1:35
Speaker 1: on the mic. I told you this last time. I
1:38
Speaker 1: don't recall thank you into um you go, We're just here.
1:43
Speaker 1: This is a nice distance. Yes, um, I feel like
1:47
Speaker 1: it's a male it's a male bread term where it's
1:51
Speaker 1: like what I'm actually saying the song is my man
1:55
Speaker 1: is your man? Like we all share the same dude
1:58
Speaker 1: saying that I'm aware, I don't care. I'm not trying
2:00
Speaker 1: to like I don't need to be his girl, like
2:03
Speaker 1: not even saying that you're his girls, and none of
2:04
Speaker 1: us are his girl. All of us are just out
2:06
Speaker 1: here trying to get different things for different reasons. And
2:09
Speaker 1: my particular reason is just get here and do what
2:11
Speaker 1: you said you was gonna do on Friday and Saturday
2:14
Speaker 1: on this particular song. All weekends as particular is the
2:18
Speaker 1: best part of the week. And for the record that um,
2:20
Speaker 1: this is like it's warm. I think it's like taking
2:26
Speaker 1: the power back because it's like women just are supposed
2:30
Speaker 1: to doing with like cry and feel weird and like
2:32
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like I don't have no nigga, like
2:34
Speaker 1: he's not my man. I have set which just it
2:36
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Just enjoy your life focused almost important to you.
2:40
Speaker 1: If you want to kick it with the nigga, kick
2:41
Speaker 1: it with him. If you don't move on, like it's
2:44
Speaker 1: not a big it doesn't have to be a thing.
2:46
Speaker 1: So it's not about pickings being slim out here. When
2:49
Speaker 1: it comes to men, it's just about comfortability. It's just
2:51
Speaker 1: about like being confident in yourself because if you I
2:54
Speaker 1: think most men don't tell women you're not my only one.
2:58
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's how you get in trouble. You gotta
2:59
Speaker 1: be on from up top. I think you have a
3:02
Speaker 1: rare knack for honesty. I think most men do not
3:06
Speaker 1: possess that. Not even most men, just human beings in general.
3:08
Speaker 1: Like I would be scared and nervous to admit the
3:11
Speaker 1: things that I feel out loud, maybe in a one
3:13
Speaker 1: on one room like with a dude, but on wax
3:17
Speaker 1: it's a lot different, Like I can come clean about
3:19
Speaker 1: all kinds of things. So I don't know. It's like
3:21
Speaker 1: men kind of have I don't ask, don't tell policy,
3:24
Speaker 1: you don't ask them. No, I'm saying, if you don't
3:29
Speaker 1: ask him a specific question, they're not going to volunteer information.
3:33
Speaker 1: I'm telling you off top, I got a woman. I've
3:34
Speaker 1: been on my woman in nineteen years. I'm letting you
3:36
Speaker 1: know from the start, I mean used to used to. Yeah,
3:39
Speaker 1: I'm letting you know from the beginning. I feel like
3:41
Speaker 1: like for certain people, like people would be like, well,
3:44
Speaker 1: you didn't ask him if he had kids, you didn't
3:45
Speaker 1: ask him if he was married, how'd your kids, but
3:50
Speaker 1: just don't tell you. Have you ever had a guy
3:51
Speaker 1: not tell you he had kids or not tell you? Loki?
3:54
Speaker 1: Don't feel like I have dated enough dudes with kids.
3:58
Speaker 1: I've maybe dated like one dude with kids, and I
4:02
Speaker 1: don't know, like it was very I love kids, so
4:05
Speaker 1: I'm not the person that you have to hide kids
4:07
Speaker 1: round my more just like let's all play like, let's
4:09
Speaker 1: all go somewhere. But I don't know. No, if a man,
4:12
Speaker 1: if a man hiding his kids from you and you
4:14
Speaker 1: find out, you gotta stop giving them, absolutely stopped talking
4:17
Speaker 1: to him. That's over. I agree after this album. Right,
4:20
Speaker 1: I listened to the album, I felt like you needed
4:22
Speaker 1: a hug, like, oh no, I feel like you got
4:25
Speaker 1: so much older, four years worth of niggas. I just,
4:32
Speaker 1: I just I'm exasperated. No, I just it's really just
4:40
Speaker 1: I never really talked about like relationships in a direct way.
4:44
Speaker 1: I'm we used to be very metaphorical, very figurative, very
4:47
Speaker 1: like um and also just kind of scared, like to
4:51
Speaker 1: talk about the way I felt in a literal way,
4:53
Speaker 1: like very directly. And I think all these relationships I'm
4:55
Speaker 1: talking about are over like you needed a man for approval,
4:58
Speaker 1: because in some of the songs it felt like you
4:59
Speaker 1: would look for approval as to say, my ass looks bigger.
5:04
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I think all women are. It's I
5:06
Speaker 1: think from the person that it's like, it's weird. You
5:09
Speaker 1: could be this hell confident person. But if the one
5:12
Speaker 1: person that you want to find you beautiful doesn't find
5:16
Speaker 1: you beautiful, it kind of doesn't mean anything, Like it
5:18
Speaker 1: just negates all these things, even though all these things
5:20
Speaker 1: are still true, like you're still beautiful, you're still narly like,
5:23
Speaker 1: so I basically took this idea of you know, when
5:29
Speaker 1: you want a man, he's unattainable, Like you want his attention,
5:32
Speaker 1: you want his favor, you want you want to be
5:34
Speaker 1: the apex of his taste level like all these things.
5:36
Speaker 1: So it's just a natural feeling. It's like I've been thick,
5:40
Speaker 1: I've been thin, I've had ass, I've lost ass, and
5:44
Speaker 1: I felt like insecure in the process of losing weight
5:48
Speaker 1: and losing booty. But like, you love me and you're
5:52
Speaker 1: my friends, so I'm likely to me for today and
5:54
Speaker 1: then tomorrow you can come clain and be like, Okay,
5:55
Speaker 1: well did you have a guy that was like all
5:57
Speaker 1: into you when you was like bigger and like he
6:01
Speaker 1: was kind of making you feel bad about being bigger,
6:03
Speaker 1: but when you lost the weight, he's still tried to
6:05
Speaker 1: like play mind games with you. No, no, I actually
6:08
Speaker 1: I am blessed to have dealt with real niggas, Like
6:11
Speaker 1: I don't really dealt with niggas and talks like that,
6:13
Speaker 1: Like I don't, that's crazy. Like when I was bigger,
6:15
Speaker 1: I was actually mad at my man because it didn't
6:17
Speaker 1: tell me that. I was just like, what, how did
6:20
Speaker 1: you miss that? Like? But it's more so he loved
6:22
Speaker 1: you regardless, and that was the key, and I think, um,
6:28
Speaker 1: that's just the bottom line. And I was more so
6:29
Speaker 1: focused on like being happy and like being in a situation.
6:32
Speaker 1: It's more so the way you see yourself, because you know,
6:34
Speaker 1: we don't see the world as it is received as
6:36
Speaker 1: we are. So I felt fat, I felt ugly, I
6:39
Speaker 1: felt undeserving. So I would look for things and like
6:42
Speaker 1: probably like dig in places that there weren't anythings to be,
6:45
Speaker 1: you know, to be dug. So what happened to him?
6:48
Speaker 1: I don't know the record of what the song on
6:52
Speaker 1: the album is about that guy, I know all of them.
6:55
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm I don't know. Maybe go Gina, Maybe
7:03
Speaker 1: go Gina. I think my dumb math listen to that
7:07
Speaker 1: record three times last night because I try to figure
7:09
Speaker 1: out it feels about Martin. Oh my god, I love
7:11
Speaker 1: first of all, yes, kind of okay, yeah, Um, it's
7:16
Speaker 1: more so like Gina. It is always like the semi
7:19
Speaker 1: corporate kind of stuck up, but also really beautiful and
7:21
Speaker 1: like has a sense of humor. But she looked like
7:23
Speaker 1: she if she lived like Pam, she might have more fun,
7:27
Speaker 1: Like you might just like just go get some get right,
7:30
Speaker 1: like goin, like do you live your life? And like
7:32
Speaker 1: don't be afraid to be crazy. Like remember that time
7:34
Speaker 1: that Martin came in that party, the hotel party, and
7:37
Speaker 1: he thought it was like a real corporate trip, but
7:40
Speaker 1: he thought it was gonna be real. Like if that
7:43
Speaker 1: was the energy, Like if she just played more, if
7:45
Speaker 1: she was just like let go, Like, yeah, I see
7:48
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. On the record of anything, that's an interesting,
7:51
Speaker 1: interesting record too, were really talking about. First of all,
7:55
Speaker 1: the album's dope, thank you. No, it's really dope. Thank you.
7:59
Speaker 1: But you keep your pete. Do you even know I'm alive? Yeah,
8:02
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're trying to get someone's attention. Yeah,
8:04
Speaker 1: well so I feel like, see, that's why I said
8:07
Speaker 1: you needed to hug. This album is like a release.
8:13
Speaker 1: It's like a release from over the last four years.
8:16
Speaker 1: I haven't been just doing music. I've been burying friends, family,
8:21
Speaker 1: like bearing family members, bearing weight, the way I feel
8:24
Speaker 1: about myself, the way I feel about the world, the
8:26
Speaker 1: way I feel about God, the way I process information.
8:29
Speaker 1: Like I've just been growing as a human being. And
8:31
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that I was just like kind
8:33
Speaker 1: of in a box, Like I didn't really I was
8:37
Speaker 1: missing a lot of worlds going on. So I think
8:41
Speaker 1: singing from my perspective of the world, where it's like,
8:46
Speaker 1: I don't know, I felt like trapped in myself and
8:49
Speaker 1: around my friends and then around like guys like I
8:52
Speaker 1: just I couldn't explain it. It was weird. It was
8:54
Speaker 1: like I felt very invisible around very many people. So
8:57
Speaker 1: that's why you said, do you even know him alive?
8:58
Speaker 1: So you're talking to a whole bunch of people talking
9:00
Speaker 1: to myself. I'm um, it's like a lot of most
9:05
Speaker 1: of the album is me talking to me. So if
9:07
Speaker 1: I'm talking about saying like even for the weekend, like
9:13
Speaker 1: a lot of these things have dual meetings, like I'm
9:14
Speaker 1: singing from the girlfriend and from the other perspective, like
9:17
Speaker 1: I've been a girlfriend that didn't know and I've been
9:19
Speaker 1: a girl that didn't know that you had a girlfriend.
9:21
Speaker 1: So it's like, I I don't know. It's like you
9:25
Speaker 1: just got to sing from different points of view, like
9:28
Speaker 1: from your where your mind is at experiences you had
9:30
Speaker 1: exactly like the Top Dog Entertainment have anything to do
9:33
Speaker 1: with that. What you're feeling like you're not alive because
9:36
Speaker 1: they wouldn't give you a release date. Oh my god, No, okay,
9:40
Speaker 1: wake up one day and kind of bug out on
9:42
Speaker 1: him just a little bit. What happened? I did? She
9:45
Speaker 1: just woke up one day and was like, I don't
9:47
Speaker 1: know if you said you want it off the label
9:48
Speaker 1: or you like, when's my album coming out? It was ninetime,
9:53
Speaker 1: but you know I said that I was conscious I
9:56
Speaker 1: made I Did you regret that? Woman? What drove you
10:00
Speaker 1: to that? Um? I'm just hella childish, and I think
10:04
Speaker 1: when I just get caught up in some shit like
10:06
Speaker 1: depending on what it is, like, I don't know, Like
10:09
Speaker 1: I just felt very overwhelmed. I felt like the pressure.
10:13
Speaker 1: It's like halfway through, I felt like people were expecting
10:15
Speaker 1: something from me, and I was like, I don't know
10:18
Speaker 1: how to meet expectations, Like I'm just a human being
10:20
Speaker 1: that's like borderline, not even sure if this is a
10:22
Speaker 1: hobby or not, like really, and then I was I
10:25
Speaker 1: felt I just felt like a lot of pressure and
10:26
Speaker 1: I just felt like I didn't know what to do.
10:29
Speaker 1: And then Punch is very like um stoic, like very chill,
10:35
Speaker 1: but hyper chill, so where like and I ask a
10:37
Speaker 1: lot of questions. So if I'm like, what do you
10:38
Speaker 1: think about this? What do you think about that with it,
10:40
Speaker 1: and he's just like, after like the fourth question, his
10:42
Speaker 1: answer is just but I don't know. They just turned
10:44
Speaker 1: into that. So I'm asking questions about my album and
10:48
Speaker 1: I'm like, how you feeling eating this song is strong enough?
10:56
Speaker 1: Do you think I should get it to the song?
10:57
Speaker 1: Any yo? At everybody? Wait nobody. It's like, I'm like, yo,
11:04
Speaker 1: I'm like I need answers. I need to figure out
11:06
Speaker 1: like where am I? Like, how do you find? He
11:07
Speaker 1: just wanted to answer me, not just And that was awesome.
11:09
Speaker 1: To day I watched somebody like passed away for the
11:12
Speaker 1: first time. It was really crazy. I was hello, emotional,
11:16
Speaker 1: I was hello over it, and then I'm also a scorpio,
11:19
Speaker 1: which should just like just add that up. Who called
11:21
Speaker 1: you first after you put that out there? Who was
11:22
Speaker 1: the first call that you got? That's how I think
11:24
Speaker 1: nobody even called me because I think they were just
11:26
Speaker 1: like they were like but a like but on something
11:31
Speaker 1: like if she is she wild? Like is she okay?
11:35
Speaker 1: Or I think everyone just assumed that I was wild
11:36
Speaker 1: and I was gonna be fine, but nobody hit you.
11:39
Speaker 1: I talked, of course, top like outside of the obvious
11:42
Speaker 1: the top, I spoke to dit I spoke to Punch
11:45
Speaker 1: that night and that I don't know. I think they
11:49
Speaker 1: didn't even say anything. They just listened to me. And
11:51
Speaker 1: that's all you need some time, somebody to listen. Yeah. Now,
11:54
Speaker 1: think about when you first signed to TV and how
11:56
Speaker 1: you are now. Yeah, it was a lot of artists
11:59
Speaker 1: development for you. So what does artist development actually mean?
12:03
Speaker 1: I mean it means see that like you put out,
12:05
Speaker 1: you put out. No, I really don't know. If I
12:06
Speaker 1: always wanted to know, I can ask you because it's right,
12:09
Speaker 1: you know, because like even just the way that you dress,
12:11
Speaker 1: the way that you present yourself, the confidence that you
12:13
Speaker 1: have now I'm locky, also very nervous right however, now,
12:18
Speaker 1: because when I first met to you, gotta think like
12:20
Speaker 1: you probably had no idea what it was that you
12:23
Speaker 1: really were going to put out, like just even your
12:25
Speaker 1: music from early on, and how I progressed to now
12:27
Speaker 1: you being able to open up and be honest about
12:29
Speaker 1: two experiences like at this table with y'all. I just
12:33
Speaker 1: thought that was but I don't know, I just didn't.
12:35
Speaker 1: I don't know, But that's artist development, even just writing
12:37
Speaker 1: for other people. I don't agree with that. I think
12:40
Speaker 1: you just you just grow as a human being. Yeah,
12:43
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't think anybody at TV could
12:44
Speaker 1: teach you how to be No, no, no, not that
12:47
Speaker 1: they teach you. But I think sometimes people want to
12:49
Speaker 1: sign people there they're ready to put out right now,
12:51
Speaker 1: they already have everything ready and for you, it was
12:54
Speaker 1: more like you discovering yourself and people need time to
12:56
Speaker 1: do that and it is time to grow. I commend
12:59
Speaker 1: my label because we didn't know that I needed time
13:01
Speaker 1: to do that. They definitely, I can't like they didn't
13:06
Speaker 1: know that I needed time to like build all that.
13:07
Speaker 1: They just supported me the way I was. And even
13:09
Speaker 1: when I gained weight and lost weight and stopped lotioning
13:12
Speaker 1: and started lotioning, like I had to call my hair,
13:16
Speaker 1: I'm not coming my hair, I'm getting bracest. I'm not
13:18
Speaker 1: getting bracest. Like just went through mad different phases of
13:20
Speaker 1: wilding out like being me, and I think they just
13:23
Speaker 1: supported me every time when I wanted to start a
13:25
Speaker 1: holding song for the album, right and she's just like, okay,
13:27
Speaker 1: let's find on the studio because some labels will just
13:29
Speaker 1: drop you if it doesn't work out right away. No,
13:32
Speaker 1: it was they were so like literally like me wilding
13:35
Speaker 1: out on Twitter, and like, bring a brat will get
13:38
Speaker 1: me drop quicker than wilding out looking crazy in the
13:41
Speaker 1: world they're needing artist development, Like I'm not giving you
13:44
Speaker 1: a release they needed if you're an ashy woman. But
13:49
Speaker 1: a girl cannot be sitting in the studio crazy. Now
13:52
Speaker 1: she exfoliates and she does a little bit what makes
13:55
Speaker 1: you But I don't want to just like it looks
14:00
Speaker 1: like an extra five whole minutes if I now his
14:04
Speaker 1: body oil and him boil and coconut oil and lots
14:06
Speaker 1: of oils and shape, but but not still not every day,
14:09
Speaker 1: like I can't. It's still like a task, like I'll
14:12
Speaker 1: tell you like five whole minutes to get your whole body.
14:14
Speaker 1: Because first of all, okay, this is funny if you
14:16
Speaker 1: think about how you mectans in the way that those work.
14:18
Speaker 1: You got a lotion while you wet so that you
14:20
Speaker 1: like keep the moisture in right, But it's like now
14:22
Speaker 1: I gotta air dry, and it's like this is now
14:24
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes into my I gotta go, So now I'm
14:26
Speaker 1: not lotioning from a woman. No woman have to take
14:28
Speaker 1: a little bit of extra time. No, No, If I
14:32
Speaker 1: was fifteen minutes late. You would you would say, rather
14:35
Speaker 1: you put take the time to put lotion on your elbow. Time.
14:39
Speaker 1: Let's let's talk about the sound of this album. You
14:41
Speaker 1: said you change the sound of this album, and listen
14:43
Speaker 1: to you, there's nothing like this album out that I've
14:46
Speaker 1: heard in a while. So why did you what makes
14:48
Speaker 1: you change the sound of the album and why? Um,
14:52
Speaker 1: I don't think I consciously changed the sound. I think
14:55
Speaker 1: I just didn't know what my son was. Like I
14:57
Speaker 1: didn't know who I was, or what I wanted to
14:59
Speaker 1: make son of, or what I was trying to achieve,
15:01
Speaker 1: or what I was attracted to sonically, Like I think
15:04
Speaker 1: music was like a separate entity and I was just
15:06
Speaker 1: over here being me, but I didn't know how to
15:08
Speaker 1: conjoin the two or like merge me into the way
15:11
Speaker 1: that I process music. So me singing and falsetto and
15:14
Speaker 1: whispering being hellometaphorical and dealing with reverb, Like I don't
15:17
Speaker 1: have any introduction in music. So if all I know
15:19
Speaker 1: is plugins, and like let's just put thirteen in them,
15:21
Speaker 1: hose on there and turned all these backgrounds up, and
15:24
Speaker 1: like it's a song, Like that's all I knew. So
15:27
Speaker 1: now learning about songs, and like when you turn down
15:31
Speaker 1: all the reverb and all the plugins and all the
15:34
Speaker 1: stacks and all these things, like you left just with
15:37
Speaker 1: your voice and your thoughts, and then now you kind
15:39
Speaker 1: of have to say something. You don't have to say anything,
15:41
Speaker 1: but you have to meet it. So the easiest thing
15:43
Speaker 1: to say is the truth. On Supermodel, you said you
15:47
Speaker 1: said you've been secretly banging your dude's homeboy interview that
15:52
Speaker 1: I was supposed to First of all, I supposed to
15:54
Speaker 1: go through all these songs in a very tender, safe
15:56
Speaker 1: place face and now I feel I feel its hacked.
16:01
Speaker 1: I did not. I didn't come up with any any explanation.
16:05
Speaker 1: I respect the honesty. I respect the truth attack I wrote,
16:09
Speaker 1: but you said you've been secretly banging your dudes. Yeah,
16:12
Speaker 1: own boy, it was. It wasn't at all. It happened once,
16:19
Speaker 1: I hope, So tell it. You got to tell this story.
16:21
Speaker 1: He had an orgy in Vegas. His man's called me
16:24
Speaker 1: and told me that they were having kind I don't
16:27
Speaker 1: know his man was hanging on him as much as
16:30
Speaker 1: his man was comfortable with me, like I was friends
16:32
Speaker 1: with his friends, like his friends were like my son.
16:34
Speaker 1: That's fast so they so they felt like but they
16:36
Speaker 1: told me on something like say his friends like your son. Yes,
16:39
Speaker 1: it was like an accident, like because you know, it
16:40
Speaker 1: was like if you like, if I'm nurturing right, hold on,
16:43
Speaker 1: So your your man's homeboy called you to tell you
16:48
Speaker 1: that your man was having it, but it didn't come
16:50
Speaker 1: out like that, and you rewarded him with pussy. No no, no,
16:57
Speaker 1: he was doing that and you were at home. No,
17:00
Speaker 1: oh my god. So it was another guy. You have
17:03
Speaker 1: to clear my character first, Okay, Okay, I did not
17:07
Speaker 1: sleep with the boy that told me to snitch, right, Okay, Faul,
17:11
Speaker 1: you shouldn't trust him in Hi, I'm pretty sure I
17:15
Speaker 1: can't trust any of them. And then it's kind of
17:20
Speaker 1: the bottom like that. So it was this boy that
17:24
Speaker 1: I just like, a boy that I liked and I've
17:26
Speaker 1: been seeing and we had like been kind of talking
17:28
Speaker 1: and like I wasn't giving him any play because I
17:31
Speaker 1: liked my boyfriend and should I wanted him to like me,
17:35
Speaker 1: and then he just didn't. On the Ventaine's Day, he
17:37
Speaker 1: like aimed me with a value. It was crazy. He
17:40
Speaker 1: aimed me, didn't call me, didn't text me, He aimed
17:42
Speaker 1: me on top of the orgy phone call. So I'm
17:46
Speaker 1: just like aim anymore. It was crazy. Well this was
17:50
Speaker 1: back then. This is all old. Yeah, of course you
17:54
Speaker 1: don't get a man back like that, though you can't.
17:56
Speaker 1: I'm no matter. It wasn't intentional, it was just now
17:59
Speaker 1: it's the song. The song is more intentional than the action, right,
18:03
Speaker 1: the songs time exactly. I was mad as hell on
18:06
Speaker 1: some scorpio shit quite long ago. I would never wish
18:10
Speaker 1: that on me. Did you tell them? Did you tell
18:11
Speaker 1: the girl? No? But y'all just did so. First of all,
18:18
Speaker 1: most of the people that I've dated are so arrogant.
18:20
Speaker 1: They would never even assume that this is about them.
18:22
Speaker 1: They'd be like, it wants to be about No, they're
18:24
Speaker 1: still arrogant. They're gonna think it. No, absolutely not. They'd
18:28
Speaker 1: be like, I know, she's not about it. She would
18:29
Speaker 1: never trip on me like that or whatever. The dude
18:31
Speaker 1: who smashed on Valentine's they definitely gonna say, so, it's
18:34
Speaker 1: the most arrogant. He'll be like, who that? Like? I wonder,
18:39
Speaker 1: it's definitely that's I'm sure that you start off doving
18:42
Speaker 1: to win. That's the record with Kendrick, right, that's you
18:45
Speaker 1: started off by saying, niggas do not deserve pussy. Real
18:48
Speaker 1: niggas right reserve so much everyone kinds of the pussy sign.
18:55
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Put it way more pussy in
18:56
Speaker 1: it than I did. It was like, get the whole box.
18:59
Speaker 1: It was mild before he came exactly what does that mean?
19:02
Speaker 1: Real niggas don't deserve pussy? I'm so the next sentences
19:06
Speaker 1: meaning it's more you see right through walls. Ain't talking
19:10
Speaker 1: about pussy, so saying like, meaning you deserve more pussy?
19:14
Speaker 1: Is it's connected to me. It's a thing. There's a
19:19
Speaker 1: lot more that I can give you. Besides all that
19:29
Speaker 1: not real? That's what I was like. That's another When
19:34
Speaker 1: I kept rewinding, I'm like, what is she trying to
19:37
Speaker 1: Meaning it's more you see right through walls, so seeing
19:39
Speaker 1: through my walls, like the walls I put up, like
19:42
Speaker 1: emotional walls, mental walls, emotional issues I don't even know
19:45
Speaker 1: I have that you be putting up with. That's what
19:48
Speaker 1: happens when you give the pussy first. All give the
19:50
Speaker 1: pussy first, and don't give a guy a chance to
19:52
Speaker 1: know you. Right then all he sees is the pussy
19:55
Speaker 1: in the beginning. It's kind of hard to go. It's
20:00
Speaker 1: kind of it's kind of hard to go backwards, you
20:02
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like, once I hit didn't you
20:04
Speaker 1: want me to get to know you? Right? It happens
20:06
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, all right, now let me what
20:12
Speaker 1: was it like meeting Rizza? I love I love his
20:14
Speaker 1: turtlenecks ful turtlenecks. Um. He's very He's exactly, he's like
20:20
Speaker 1: a character, like a movie character. He's brilliant. He's like
20:23
Speaker 1: he's got hella different fast, He's multi faceted as fuck,
20:26
Speaker 1: and in a way that you can like quantify. So
20:29
Speaker 1: like if you'd be like, yo, can I get some
20:30
Speaker 1: Bobby Digital Plus like Today's math plus a little bit,
20:33
Speaker 1: people like okay, and then like go into this yeah,
20:36
Speaker 1: and he'll just go off into that and then like
20:37
Speaker 1: but he's also like very warm and like nostalgically parental.
20:42
Speaker 1: It's weird. Were you a fan because you were young?
20:44
Speaker 1: Like you didn't. My sister was a heavy wood Tang
20:46
Speaker 1: and I just caught the wind. Basically, my sister is
20:49
Speaker 1: like my introduction every sound like because she used to
20:51
Speaker 1: listen to Tupac and Wood Tang and Little John like
20:55
Speaker 1: bone cars just a lot of aggressive music. She's from California,
20:59
Speaker 1: but she moved into Jersey, so she's taken all her
21:01
Speaker 1: like West Coast influences and bringing them where I live.
21:05
Speaker 1: And I don't know, like when I each drop and
21:07
Speaker 1: see what I can see and just take whatever I can,
21:10
Speaker 1: I just get like I'm very easily obsessed. So I
21:12
Speaker 1: just woo. Was very like cool to me. They were
21:14
Speaker 1: so that's why you call yourself the Scissa. Well that
21:19
Speaker 1: was actually I feel like that kind of um. It's weird,
21:21
Speaker 1: like how things kind of folding to each other and
21:22
Speaker 1: then just start to make sense. It kind of My
21:25
Speaker 1: name is Selana. My friends call me sos for sure,
21:27
Speaker 1: which is like so Sa. But at the time Chief
21:31
Speaker 1: Keith had just came out and it was he was
21:33
Speaker 1: like Sosa and it was crazy, like I can't be Soca.
21:35
Speaker 1: Also so Easy was Soca too? Yeah? Easy Mum. I
21:48
Speaker 1: love the trailer too. By the way, I thought that
21:49
Speaker 1: was genius, just having resident voices because you know, as
21:52
Speaker 1: a as an older guy, I think scissor, that's what
21:55
Speaker 1: I automatically think. Residents and all that stuff. We just
21:58
Speaker 1: it was people call me for that first all on
22:01
Speaker 1: there were like bitch, you're not a WOUE tang. Yeah,
22:03
Speaker 1: it's crazy. They're like, you're not a WOE member. Who
22:06
Speaker 1: are you? No? On Love Galore, that's another dope record.
22:10
Speaker 1: You're scolding a man for being with you when he
22:12
Speaker 1: got a woman. And I was listening to it saying,
22:14
Speaker 1: you know it takes two right, which you mean if
22:17
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, she's saying she's a lot of times
22:19
Speaker 1: she's from You're real honest um. So basically it's one
22:28
Speaker 1: of those casual situations where you see a dude in
22:31
Speaker 1: public and he's always trying to like be cool with
22:35
Speaker 1: you or whatever the case may be, and he won't
22:39
Speaker 1: admit that he has a girlfriend. Everyone told you he
22:42
Speaker 1: has a girlfriend. Your own eyes kind of make you
22:44
Speaker 1: feel like he has a girlfriend. But then like you,
22:47
Speaker 1: it's just like what is this? Like it's annoying, but
22:49
Speaker 1: it's also like all right whatever. So the song is
22:53
Speaker 1: more so about like when I said you're crew, No,
22:57
Speaker 1: your crew better than you do. So this is speaking
22:59
Speaker 1: in this same sense of the dude telling because I
23:03
Speaker 1: know your friends like I do your friends laundry, I've
23:05
Speaker 1: cooked for your friends niggas, So I'm just like so
23:09
Speaker 1: and I'm just saying, like this is it just be
23:11
Speaker 1: like that it sounds Sometimes dudes are wildfout say why
23:16
Speaker 1: bother me when you know you don't want why? Right? No,
23:21
Speaker 1: but how do you know if it's about hitting, it's
23:23
Speaker 1: about you ain't want the idea of me. The video
23:25
Speaker 1: was very sexy, by the way. Yeah, I was a
23:31
Speaker 1: what do you call this here? Your man's here doing orgy? Like?
23:34
Speaker 1: Was that? Oh my god? It was so it had
23:37
Speaker 1: it slipped out, slip It was an accident, not slipped out,
23:41
Speaker 1: slipped No, No, he was on I'm like, oh my god.
23:43
Speaker 1: I was like, are you guys having a good time?
23:44
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh my god, don't you were
23:46
Speaker 1: having such a good time and were where this mansion
23:48
Speaker 1: and we're having and it just didn't slip out, slipped out.
23:52
Speaker 1: I think he was definitely on something as well, so
23:55
Speaker 1: he was in a very good mood and these are
23:57
Speaker 1: like that damn it. And that's how that happened. And
24:01
Speaker 1: I was like, oh is that crazy? So crazy time?
24:07
Speaker 1: Have you ever cheated? Um, you're talking about album? Yes?
24:15
Speaker 1: Oh no, yes, But I feel like I'm justified for
24:21
Speaker 1: the for the for the reasons I and honestly, like,
24:27
Speaker 1: if if a dude is not cheating you as this girl,
24:31
Speaker 1: if he's who knows, if he's claiming you in every circle,
24:34
Speaker 1: if he's having orgies, who knows if he's having orgies,
24:37
Speaker 1: who knows if he's even considering you in the same
24:39
Speaker 1: way that you're seeing him as a man who like
24:40
Speaker 1: you're not his girl in his brain? So did I
24:43
Speaker 1: cheat on anyone because you didn't have a you trying?
24:47
Speaker 1: Told you, told everyone you didn't have a girl. Ain't
24:50
Speaker 1: told me you didn't have a girl. No, No, that's
24:52
Speaker 1: your guilt talking again. I'm talking to you, I was
24:55
Speaker 1: talking to you. I would never are seeing somebody now
25:04
Speaker 1: huh um um um for this album. No, lord knows, no,
25:14
Speaker 1: I uh. I was trying to explain what my seeing
25:18
Speaker 1: someone situation, right, I feel like right now, I'm very
25:23
Speaker 1: I'm in a space where I've never been in this
25:24
Speaker 1: place before in my life, and I don't know anything
25:27
Speaker 1: about myself. So I'm learning about myself. I'm learning about
25:31
Speaker 1: and honestly, I think I was in a lot of
25:32
Speaker 1: these unhealthy relationships because I didn't have enough self love,
25:35
Speaker 1: like built up so and I found when I fixed
25:39
Speaker 1: the way I felt a boy myself, like these situations
25:42
Speaker 1: didn't happen to me anymore, Like I haven't dealt with
25:44
Speaker 1: a trife dude, and so long, like and so long,
25:48
Speaker 1: and I'm super blessed and grateful for that, but I
25:52
Speaker 1: do know. So why would you tolerate? Would you tolerate
25:55
Speaker 1: what you or even what you believe in, what you
25:57
Speaker 1: want to hold on to to be lonely? Like you said,
25:59
Speaker 1: you can't just gonna be on me, but you also
26:00
Speaker 1: can't be afraid to like let your pride go because
26:03
Speaker 1: he could do all these things and because your homegirls say,
26:05
Speaker 1: don't mess with him. You don't want to mess him anymore,
26:07
Speaker 1: but you can only now like this makes no sense,
26:10
Speaker 1: Like you still love him, he still loves you, Like
26:13
Speaker 1: these things are workable. People are human beings, People grow,
26:15
Speaker 1: people change anything as possible. So it's like it's kind
26:18
Speaker 1: of just in a realm of I don't know, I'm
26:20
Speaker 1: just chilling. You can't trust guys at this point, you
26:23
Speaker 1: in your career, after sexy, Now you don't got all
26:25
Speaker 1: sexy and glowing up on him. You got an album
26:28
Speaker 1: coming out. People know you're about to blow somebody out here,
26:30
Speaker 1: Gonna try to trap you. I cannot. I simply cannot
26:34
Speaker 1: now like a right you say that somebody actively that.
26:38
Speaker 1: The more I listen, I like, um, you're classy for
26:42
Speaker 1: like forty minutes and I was like, wow, this is
26:45
Speaker 1: so long. I like, I like, I like normal girl too.
26:49
Speaker 1: Thank you. I almost took that off. Really yeah, I
26:52
Speaker 1: feel like that's what you was talking about a little
26:53
Speaker 1: while ago, because tell me if I'm wrong, because my
26:55
Speaker 1: interpretation might be different. But it sounded like you were
26:57
Speaker 1: waiting for a man to get his ship together and
27:00
Speaker 1: make an honest woman out of you know, if you're
27:03
Speaker 1: saying normal girl, if you're saying you load the way up,
27:05
Speaker 1: pop my top of how I lose my cool, of
27:07
Speaker 1: how I look at you saying like I'll be wilding
27:09
Speaker 1: and you love that shit. So I'm a headache. I'm
27:12
Speaker 1: stressful and it's just the way I am. But I'm
27:14
Speaker 1: also fun as hell and we're gonna do this for
27:17
Speaker 1: as long as you want to do it. That's all
27:19
Speaker 1: that is. But saying normal girl like feeling like I've
27:22
Speaker 1: always wanted to be. I feel like the dudes that
27:24
Speaker 1: I ended up dating, we're always dating like this like
27:27
Speaker 1: arch type where it was like several degrees very aristocratic,
27:30
Speaker 1: like very like super conservative and reserve, were like a
27:34
Speaker 1: mean press out and like very like just something very
27:37
Speaker 1: crazy and nice skin and drink hell of water and
27:39
Speaker 1: like a lot of credentials. And I know it's a
27:44
Speaker 1: long list, but nobody it is true like for those
27:47
Speaker 1: of the kind of girls like and I don't know
27:49
Speaker 1: why I always end up dating dudes that they like
27:52
Speaker 1: the craziest of women, and I think, like on the
27:55
Speaker 1: positive scale. Um So that was me feeling like like,
28:00
Speaker 1: though these are normal girls to you, this is what
28:03
Speaker 1: you consider a normal girl. I wish I wasn't normal
28:05
Speaker 1: girl because I'm not. I'm not organized. I don't make
28:08
Speaker 1: sense a lot of times. And again I'll be wilding
28:10
Speaker 1: by am. So it's just that you said that three times.
28:15
Speaker 1: What does you wild like that? But I'm some like
28:17
Speaker 1: like I adventure really hard and I play really hard.
28:20
Speaker 1: So like I went to Mexico, got hit by a car,
28:23
Speaker 1: but continue my trap, had a fantastic time. But we
28:27
Speaker 1: were racing. No no what they come out with them guns.
28:31
Speaker 1: You're gonna walk away from whatever happened to you because
28:34
Speaker 1: you don't want to be caught up in a mass
28:36
Speaker 1: and I was just racing with my friend on some
28:38
Speaker 1: other cycles and she hit like a backstreet and I
28:40
Speaker 1: was trying to cut her off and I couldn't, so
28:43
Speaker 1: I went around and then this taxi just came inside
28:46
Speaker 1: swept me, and I just I was in a g
28:49
Speaker 1: stret and coming from the beach right. All of a sudden,
28:51
Speaker 1: all these policies came with like very large guns and
28:53
Speaker 1: they were just paid a thousand dollars. About that was
28:57
Speaker 1: it with my life. Even though I got hit, I
28:59
Speaker 1: was just limping. I'm just like, it's all cool. I
29:00
Speaker 1: don't even care. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. No,
29:03
Speaker 1: I had my ankle, my arm, my scrapes, uh, my
29:06
Speaker 1: rib and then I had like Monta Zuma's revenge the
29:08
Speaker 1: next day, diarrhea for nine hours. It was Oh, it
29:12
Speaker 1: was just so crazy, Sime. No. I drove to Ply
29:16
Speaker 1: to doll Karmen. I was in tuloom Oh and I
29:18
Speaker 1: just went there. I was in there. I first of all,
29:22
Speaker 1: my fat, It is a very offensive word. Don't say that.
29:24
Speaker 1: Tell them don't call fat big. You look all those
29:29
Speaker 1: other agities you had in your rolling deck, just prepared
29:33
Speaker 1: so you was medium sized. I'm just trying to imagine
29:35
Speaker 1: you medium sized on the toilet. I was larger than
29:37
Speaker 1: I am now. I was in I had a great
29:42
Speaker 1: I love this, but I didn't get sick. I didn't
29:44
Speaker 1: get sick in too Loom was fine, but I wanted
29:46
Speaker 1: to do water sports because I'm extra. And I drove
29:49
Speaker 1: into ply do Karmen and yeah, I was having a
29:53
Speaker 1: great time. My mouth was open and I was just screaming,
29:55
Speaker 1: like having a great time in the jet skis, and
29:57
Speaker 1: I just why wouldn't a guy like that? That's all
30:00
Speaker 1: like fun, especially if you're paying for it. Because I
30:01
Speaker 1: also got him hit on a car in Mexico. Hold on,
30:06
Speaker 1: you got him hit too. Yeah, he was on the
30:08
Speaker 1: back of a car, on the back of the bike
30:10
Speaker 1: with you. Yeah, but that's what do you get He
30:15
Speaker 1: should have been driving the bike. What the hell? Drive
30:18
Speaker 1: the bike? Drive better. I'm not going to risk this
30:21
Speaker 1: race for you. Just hang on. Yeah, and we are.
30:28
Speaker 1: Are you still writing for other people? Oh my god? Um,
30:32
Speaker 1: I think I'm like ready now. I don't think I
30:34
Speaker 1: was ready before when people were asking you to write,
30:36
Speaker 1: because I'd never written for anybody before. But now I think, um,
30:40
Speaker 1: I'm kind of developing. I think everybody has a different
30:42
Speaker 1: way that they communicate with the world and via music
30:45
Speaker 1: in general. And I did figure out the way that
30:47
Speaker 1: I communicated with the world and what my like form
30:50
Speaker 1: of musical communication was. And I think before I could
30:53
Speaker 1: really write for someone with confidence. And now, you know,
30:56
Speaker 1: it's like you have to find a style. Like if
30:58
Speaker 1: you don't have a style, then you're kind of writing
31:00
Speaker 1: for other people with them in mind, Like what would
31:02
Speaker 1: you say? But I think honesty and you know, all
31:06
Speaker 1: those words coming from a place that counts for everybody,
31:09
Speaker 1: Like it's about how you know everybody, not just how
31:11
Speaker 1: you know you. So I just had to figure out
31:13
Speaker 1: what my style was, how I communicate what I feel,
31:15
Speaker 1: what I know like and just streamline it in some way,
31:19
Speaker 1: but like keep it. I don't know. I just had
31:20
Speaker 1: to learn more about myself before I could write for
31:22
Speaker 1: other people. I'm reading now, is that your grandma or
31:25
Speaker 1: your mom giving your advice? Granny and my mom? Yeah, okay,
31:28
Speaker 1: I thought different people. Yeah they sound like the gs.
31:33
Speaker 1: I have the best family in the world, And I'm
31:36
Speaker 1: sure everyone has a beautiful family, right giving you like
31:38
Speaker 1: a lot of advice on guys, you tell him everything, like, um,
31:41
Speaker 1: I never was crazy, and I spent my whole life
31:43
Speaker 1: not asking my mother about men and or ask my
31:46
Speaker 1: grandmother and or ask my father. Nobody talked to me
31:49
Speaker 1: about or my sister about men in my entire life,
31:52
Speaker 1: and I think I've had more focus on activities or
31:56
Speaker 1: what I wanted to do and my sort of my family,
31:59
Speaker 1: like they ever talk to me about esthetic or being
32:02
Speaker 1: attractive or which I like resented when I got older,
32:05
Speaker 1: because I'm like, damn, I wish tobody just put me
32:07
Speaker 1: on on how to like polish up like I mean
32:09
Speaker 1: now and again when I really wanted to. I was
32:11
Speaker 1: an athlete exactly. That's they just put him in sports.
32:16
Speaker 1: You ain't got time for boys. You just practicing all days,
32:19
Speaker 1: so we ain't got to have that cup athlete. Oh no, yeah,
32:22
Speaker 1: definitely still an astley athlete. I Um, I don't know.
32:26
Speaker 1: I think so the way gain had to be hard
32:29
Speaker 1: because you had a gymnast, so you always thin. I
32:32
Speaker 1: was muscle, I was butuffed. I was very like I
32:34
Speaker 1: was very heavy even as a gymnast, and I ran track.
32:37
Speaker 1: So I have like very would you in too? Um?
32:44
Speaker 1: I have very like dense squads and a lot of
32:47
Speaker 1: like muscle memory. So that packed on with like eating
32:51
Speaker 1: and everything else was just like very heavy and very
32:54
Speaker 1: difficult to get off because two hundred feels like two
32:59
Speaker 1: twenty when you have leg, muscles or anything else involved.
33:01
Speaker 1: It was crazy. Was it a lot of scress? Eating? Yes?
33:04
Speaker 1: I love eating when on my mind. I just like
33:07
Speaker 1: I'm born, I want to eat. I'm sad, I want
33:10
Speaker 1: to eat. I'm happy. Let's eat like it's just now
33:12
Speaker 1: we can go shopping exactly, Let's shop and eat. So
33:15
Speaker 1: with your with your man, your prior man. You're very competitive,
33:19
Speaker 1: like you compete on everything when it comes to your man. No, no,
33:23
Speaker 1: my man. Both. Why you say that, I mean because
33:26
Speaker 1: you're an athlete, so that's what you've basically been trained
33:28
Speaker 1: to do. So no matter what it is, what your man,
33:30
Speaker 1: you got to be better. I'm gonna make you come first.
33:35
Speaker 1: Nobody wa No woman wants that. A real man let
33:40
Speaker 1: you come first, but you don't ever let him win.
33:43
Speaker 1: My god, my mother's gonna see this. She definitely told me.
33:47
Speaker 1: After love girls, she said, don't do that shit no more.
33:49
Speaker 1: This counts. Is that this whole conversation, I'm not listening,
33:54
Speaker 1: but go ahead. Um, yes I am I'm very competitive
34:01
Speaker 1: and I can't help it. It's weird. I didn't even notice.
34:03
Speaker 1: I like Jess realize that with man because but it's exciting.
34:09
Speaker 1: It's like healthy. It's like you slay, I slay, I
34:12
Speaker 1: slay you, like now come catch up and then like
34:14
Speaker 1: we'll go back and it'll be like whatever, like look
34:16
Speaker 1: what I got, I gotta do this, you got do that.
34:18
Speaker 1: It's just it's fun. And I guess tracking and being
34:20
Speaker 1: a gymnasist really a one on one competition. It's not
34:23
Speaker 1: like a you know, it's weird. It like it is,
34:25
Speaker 1: and it's not because it's like you have to represent
34:27
Speaker 1: your group. You have to not embarrass the people that
34:31
Speaker 1: you with. But it's like and if you shine too
34:33
Speaker 1: hard people don't like you, then you kind of like
34:35
Speaker 1: out your group and then it's like life really, but
34:39
Speaker 1: it's like your points and your details and everything that
34:43
Speaker 1: you prepared for is like for right now, but it
34:45
Speaker 1: also reflects on a whole like of humanity and society.
34:49
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I just don't play yourself. Well,
34:51
Speaker 1: why was m Drew barrymore and inspiration to you? Because
34:54
Speaker 1: you got the record and then she picked you up.
34:56
Speaker 1: I think it was you don't Kimmel, right, Yeah, I
34:58
Speaker 1: did play Kimel. And then she went valid or something
35:02
Speaker 1: and said, um, she's so nice, she's amazing, But why
35:05
Speaker 1: she's an inspiration to people do a whole record named
35:08
Speaker 1: after a whole three minute Yeah? Um, Basically, I think
35:16
Speaker 1: when she came out there was something very interesting or
35:19
Speaker 1: when I was younger, like I feel like all the
35:21
Speaker 1: actresses of that time, like we're all the white actresses
35:24
Speaker 1: of that time, like the Nicole Kidman's and like the
35:27
Speaker 1: Michelle Peiffers and the like the very like you know,
35:31
Speaker 1: like polished, so polished, Like the hands looked like you remember,
35:35
Speaker 1: like cartoon hands and like creativille like, but they looked
35:38
Speaker 1: like that. Or even Glenn Close, like Glenn Close wasn't
35:41
Speaker 1: like the epitome of you know, textbook beauty and fatal attraction,
35:45
Speaker 1: but she was still white and blonde and wore all
35:47
Speaker 1: white and like angelic like this was the idea. And
35:51
Speaker 1: with Drew was just kind of like she's quirky, she
35:55
Speaker 1: has crooked teeth, she has a belly laugh like she
35:57
Speaker 1: really laughed from here. It's a giggle. It's like she
36:00
Speaker 1: has a list. I have a list, like she's made
36:03
Speaker 1: me feel I related to her characters a lot, like
36:06
Speaker 1: an incredible life growing up too, like as I did. Yeah,
36:10
Speaker 1: and she beat drugs. She was on drugs real, it
36:12
Speaker 1: was like a child start going to parties and all
36:14
Speaker 1: kinds of crazy stuff when she was really yeah classic, Yeah.
36:18
Speaker 1: It just made me feel I'm a goofy like person,
36:21
Speaker 1: and I think I attached talk I love living single
36:23
Speaker 1: for the same reason like attaching to Kadijo or Sinclair
36:26
Speaker 1: like for those because they're hella goofy, and that's just
36:28
Speaker 1: how I get down. Like it's just it's just a yeah,
36:31
Speaker 1: I give you had any black female like Felicious shot
36:35
Speaker 1: tons of those. It's just a matter of when I
36:36
Speaker 1: think of movies, and like I'm thinking of usually like fashion,
36:40
Speaker 1: hair and energy for movies and like visual like what
36:43
Speaker 1: inspires me. So when I think of like Drew Barrymore,
36:47
Speaker 1: I think of what poison ivy And when she's swinging
36:49
Speaker 1: on that swing and like her hair to the side,
36:51
Speaker 1: and like she's kind of in a dark place, but
36:54
Speaker 1: she's like kind of sad, she's lonely, she wants more.
36:57
Speaker 1: She's with this girl that seems to have a perfect life.
37:00
Speaker 1: Who's also rather boring, and she's over her life too,
37:03
Speaker 1: like it's weird. She's like dysfunctional on some weird sexual
37:07
Speaker 1: devi and shit, like she's just weird. So it just
37:09
Speaker 1: made me feel like this dark beat and my friends
37:12
Speaker 1: make everything from scratch, so when they play the chords
37:14
Speaker 1: and like all that, it just kind of builds and
37:15
Speaker 1: you start to see a show in your head. Did
37:17
Speaker 1: you grow upround a lot of white people in jail?
37:19
Speaker 1: I did? Yeah? Is that kind of why you your
37:25
Speaker 1: images of beauty are like white women? I guess, Wait,
37:28
Speaker 1: what makes you think mit one song after a white
37:33
Speaker 1: woman a very mixed environment, Mima is a beauty were
37:35
Speaker 1: after a white woman? My hair would not be textured? No, no,
37:42
Speaker 1: I um no. I think, if anything, growing up around
37:47
Speaker 1: white people just made me under like just see different
37:51
Speaker 1: facets of what I've seen all kind of white people.
37:53
Speaker 1: I think if it comes to the loving, warm, accepting,
37:57
Speaker 1: I've seen some ignorance in all shape, I've seen some
38:01
Speaker 1: hate've seen some really sad things. I've seen support and
38:03
Speaker 1: all colors and shade. So I just I think, if anything,
38:07
Speaker 1: it just kind of I've had a weird experience, Like
38:09
Speaker 1: even in gymnastics, Like my hair doesn't slick back like
38:12
Speaker 1: y'all's like the spragletter don't look the same. I have
38:16
Speaker 1: a different build, like you know, black girls are just
38:18
Speaker 1: built different, Like I have body, Like I'm on this
38:20
Speaker 1: team and I'm and I'm still small because I'm a gymnast,
38:23
Speaker 1: but I'm kind of shapely and I'm in a leotard
38:26
Speaker 1: and my legs are out and it's like it's a
38:27
Speaker 1: different experience for me, so I think, and in my
38:30
Speaker 1: girl Scout troupe, like being the only black girls more so,
38:33
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've had I had a beautiful experience.
38:35
Speaker 1: I've had some learning experiences. I've had some unfortunate experiences
38:39
Speaker 1: with white people that could contribute to your insecurity at all.
38:42
Speaker 1: Um No, I don't think white people in particular contribute
38:45
Speaker 1: to my insecurity. I think society, myself and the way
38:50
Speaker 1: that I think self love is a very weird thing
38:54
Speaker 1: to try to teach your kids because it's kind of
38:57
Speaker 1: led by example only, like and they kind of pick
39:00
Speaker 1: up on and absorb it, and like my parents are
39:04
Speaker 1: so like their corporate and accomplished and like all these
39:06
Speaker 1: other things. I don't know, like we just didn't really.
39:10
Speaker 1: I never really took time to build my confidence at all,
39:12
Speaker 1: like ever, so I think I don't know. And my
39:16
Speaker 1: homegirls like I was very I was also very comfortable,
39:18
Speaker 1: like being the meek like I don't know, like the
39:24
Speaker 1: goofy wan, like I'm I'm the friend like I was.
39:27
Speaker 1: I was always okay like being that. And my friends
39:29
Speaker 1: were so beautiful and they dressed well and like they
39:31
Speaker 1: would give me pointers and like call my baby hair
39:34
Speaker 1: and whatever else they felt like dressing me up in
39:37
Speaker 1: for the day. But I think the insecurities just came from,
39:40
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's just the way I was built.
39:42
Speaker 1: I think I've always been that way when I was
39:44
Speaker 1: a gymnast. Yeah, well, I mean I think who's good now,
39:47
Speaker 1: Who's like, who's one hundred percent good now? All the time,
39:49
Speaker 1: I think I'm very happy with the way my life
39:54
Speaker 1: is shaping. I feel very blessed. I'm super happy to
39:58
Speaker 1: not be um as unhelp because I was before. I'm
40:01
Speaker 1: happy that I feel like I have a choice when
40:03
Speaker 1: I see pasta um um, how do you feel about
40:08
Speaker 1: that album? Was a bad day? I don't know, I
40:10
Speaker 1: don't know. I said it was good. I was really
40:13
Speaker 1: happy to say that, because I was like, really, um,
40:16
Speaker 1: I mean I tried to we have this backup plan
40:19
Speaker 1: right to where this backup plan and me and stage
40:22
Speaker 1: made a backup plan to where if I couldn't, if
40:25
Speaker 1: I couldn't like handle releasing the album because I didn't
40:28
Speaker 1: like it, that I would release a photo of me
40:30
Speaker 1: listening to the album and just explain that I finished it,
40:34
Speaker 1: explain what it's all about, and then just like leave
40:37
Speaker 1: it at It's like that with the once you created,
40:39
Speaker 1: it's almost just up for public consumption now, like you
40:42
Speaker 1: do your best work and then you got to release work.
40:45
Speaker 1: And that was my issue, I think a matter of
40:47
Speaker 1: like I think when I was younger, I was very
40:51
Speaker 1: quick and excited to be like like I'm special, Like
40:55
Speaker 1: I'm good at this, I'm listening to that. But like
40:57
Speaker 1: when you get older, you started to real that's how
40:58
Speaker 1: small you are in the world, and you're not like
41:01
Speaker 1: all of us are special, but none of us are
41:03
Speaker 1: more special than the other, like at all. But and
41:06
Speaker 1: it's just it's just interesting, Like it's very humbling, it's
41:10
Speaker 1: very and then it's weird. It's a fine line between
41:12
Speaker 1: humbling and like crippling because it's like when you realize
41:16
Speaker 1: that you're not the ship, or like you're not you
41:18
Speaker 1: know everything you think you are, but there's a lot
41:20
Speaker 1: of room to grow. It's very inspiring and exciting, but
41:22
Speaker 1: it's also like, have I done enough growing yet to
41:25
Speaker 1: go back in the world, Like, am I prepared to
41:27
Speaker 1: be in this place? And I think that's kind of
41:30
Speaker 1: where I was. My father would always say, you're never
41:32
Speaker 1: as good as they say you are, and you're never
41:34
Speaker 1: as bad as they say you are. I like that,
41:36
Speaker 1: that's just the mentality to have. Definitely putting this album out,
41:39
Speaker 1: there's no listening to it. I've gone now when you're
41:44
Speaker 1: not going to put it out, like, I think it's dope.
41:50
Speaker 1: Women are Women are going to love this album because
41:53
Speaker 1: I told you I felt like a lot of emotions
41:56
Speaker 1: when I was listening to it, because there's a lot
41:57
Speaker 1: of situations that we've all been in and not too
42:00
Speaker 1: many songs that we have that we can relate it to.
42:04
Speaker 1: What's the day Friday? This Friday? I'm R and B
42:06
Speaker 1: head like, I love Ericado, I love Flowetry like I
42:10
Speaker 1: love Marching Ambrosis. As a solo artist, I love Jill Scott,
42:12
Speaker 1: A love Salon this is kind of this is in
42:15
Speaker 1: that vein the twenty somethings is the perfect anthem too.
42:19
Speaker 1: I think for for a lot of twenty somethings just
42:21
Speaker 1: trying to just trying to figure it out. I feel
42:25
Speaker 1: that way that was an exercise or writing exercise. Is
42:28
Speaker 1: that a constant struggle? Are you looking forward to the
42:30
Speaker 1: thirties that you just working it out now? I don't know.
42:33
Speaker 1: I feel rash. Chake your time, girl. One punch is
42:36
Speaker 1: mad at me. He just tells me I'm the thirty
42:39
Speaker 1: just when to make me feel bad, like just what
42:42
Speaker 1: do you mean? What? I know? It's terrible when you
42:44
Speaker 1: tell when I feel he's mad at me, and it
42:46
Speaker 1: feels like I'm being immature, Like he's just be like, dude,
42:48
Speaker 1: he's thirty, and it'll just be like, wow, this is terrible.
42:50
Speaker 1: I can't be just no, like to make me feel
42:55
Speaker 1: like it be more mature. He's saying, like I need
42:57
Speaker 1: to get off. But I think, um my twenty have
43:00
Speaker 1: been the most like a violet weird experience. Violent. Violent
43:05
Speaker 1: doesn't have to mean physical. Violence doesn't have to mean blood, gore, guts,
43:09
Speaker 1: the literal. It could be violent. You've never feel like
43:11
Speaker 1: something is jolting, like emotionally abrasive. It's like it's been
43:16
Speaker 1: visually abrasive. I think for right now, for anyone who's
43:19
Speaker 1: in their twenties and watching the state of the world
43:21
Speaker 1: and their teens and their any age is on some
43:23
Speaker 1: whole other shit right now, it just feels crazy. So
43:26
Speaker 1: I think my twenties has just been a lot of learning.
43:28
Speaker 1: Like I'm sure I have quite a bit ago before thirty,
43:32
Speaker 1: but by thirty, I'm trying to chill on, like, you
43:34
Speaker 1: gotta get all your get a fine, don't take this
43:37
Speaker 1: the wrong way, but you have to get all your
43:39
Speaker 1: holing out before thirty like anything, No, no, you gotta
43:43
Speaker 1: get it. You gotta get it out before third whatever.
43:47
Speaker 1: My aunt, no, my aunt, you do whatever. You. My
43:50
Speaker 1: aunt called me and was just like, I'm gonna go
43:52
Speaker 1: see this man and this is not but she's not.
43:54
Speaker 1: She's so conservative, she's not like but but it made me.
43:59
Speaker 1: She's just like she's comfortable and confident and established and
44:02
Speaker 1: paid like so she's just doing what she wants. So
44:04
Speaker 1: I just thought older women just be doing well. Your
44:07
Speaker 1: album is very confident and very in control, So that's
44:11
Speaker 1: a good sign. How you going on tour, I am
44:13
Speaker 1: thank god, Finally I'm tired of singing the same songs.
44:16
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm bored with my own music. Finally
44:20
Speaker 1: I'm going and I'm going to rehearse, and I'm really
44:23
Speaker 1: excited this time. I think last time with tour, I
44:26
Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing. I never performed alive.
44:28
Speaker 1: I never even knew that I sang full voice. That
44:30
Speaker 1: was an accident that I found out on tour, which
44:33
Speaker 1: is how this album kind of came around with the sound,
44:35
Speaker 1: like not knowing that I was singing in falsetto in
44:37
Speaker 1: a much lower tone. When you're live with a loud
44:39
Speaker 1: ass band, you have to like yo over them in
44:42
Speaker 1: order to hear yourself, et cetera. So I don't know
44:44
Speaker 1: that kind of like blended. We don't know what you're
44:46
Speaker 1: talking about, but somebody she's learning, she's learning, and she's
44:48
Speaker 1: saying she might either that. I not know that because
44:52
Speaker 1: I didn't know with me. No, I just talking about
44:55
Speaker 1: tour job after nine eleven, That is semi true. Yes, no, yeah, so, um,
45:05
Speaker 1: my parents my mother's Christian and my father's Muslim, so
45:09
Speaker 1: I would wear my jab whenever. My mom was very
45:12
Speaker 1: supportive like I went to Muslim prep school on Fridays,
45:15
Speaker 1: I went to do MYI with my dad, and I
45:17
Speaker 1: felt very my dad kind of ran my household. So
45:21
Speaker 1: that's just kind of the way everybody went. But I
45:22
Speaker 1: still would go to church my mom every other Sunday
45:25
Speaker 1: or et cetera, because my dad is understanding and a
45:28
Speaker 1: human being. Um So I don't know when nine to
45:32
Speaker 1: eleven happened. It was just like I don't know, like
45:36
Speaker 1: it became a thing, and I didn't know it was
45:38
Speaker 1: a thing. Like kids were very like yeah, and they
45:42
Speaker 1: were very sure about the way that they felt about me,
45:44
Speaker 1: or about the religion or about Islam, or like the idea.
45:48
Speaker 1: And as kids, they thought it was like a very
45:50
Speaker 1: separate thing, like you don't believe in God, you believe
45:53
Speaker 1: in a lot when like the exact literally the translation,
45:55
Speaker 1: like it just means God, it's another word. And I think, um,
46:01
Speaker 1: kids main kids paired with fear and ignorance and like
46:04
Speaker 1: that was a very traumatizing thing that happened to all
46:06
Speaker 1: of us. Like as a kid, we had to sit
46:09
Speaker 1: down and have an assembly, like and everybody talked about that.
46:11
Speaker 1: So it's like, in hindsight, it pains me to see
46:15
Speaker 1: all this like Islamophobia growing and like snowballing and all
46:20
Speaker 1: the bandwagoning, because I know the damage that that can
46:24
Speaker 1: really cause and where that comes from. It comes from
46:26
Speaker 1: a place of ignorance and fear. Now I'm a place
46:28
Speaker 1: of I don't even know. You know, nobody wants to
46:31
Speaker 1: be that hateful or that, but nobody wants to be
46:33
Speaker 1: that scared either. So it's just like, I don't know,
46:37
Speaker 1: do you feel the need to speak out or do
46:38
Speaker 1: you think like the label might be like, hey, you
46:40
Speaker 1: know what, maybe not right now? What would never do?
46:44
Speaker 1: Never did that. I happened to be on a label
46:48
Speaker 1: of real niggas as well, like they don't they support
46:52
Speaker 1: they support anything that's real and true. And um, I
46:56
Speaker 1: think because somebody like you standing up and you know,
46:59
Speaker 1: like and seen your faith right now, I could really
47:01
Speaker 1: help the community, help the Muslim community. Yeah, but I
47:04
Speaker 1: also don't Muslims going through that. I agree. I also
47:08
Speaker 1: want to be careful about the way that I represent
47:12
Speaker 1: my community or the Muslim community, because I have so
47:15
Speaker 1: much respect and so much reverence and I know that
47:17
Speaker 1: I don't live by my dean, So you wouldn't do
47:19
Speaker 1: that just to make a statement. Yeah, I mean like
47:21
Speaker 1: I feel like I can support people and in every
47:25
Speaker 1: way I can, and I don't. I also don't feel
47:26
Speaker 1: like I'm not allowed to wear a jab, Like I
47:28
Speaker 1: feel like I just to be authentic to exactly. So
47:30
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna jump out the window and like start
47:32
Speaker 1: a mosque tomorrow. But I definitely feel like if there
47:34
Speaker 1: are any anyone that needs to like talk or hang
47:37
Speaker 1: or feel reinforce, and I have no problem wearing a jab.
47:40
Speaker 1: I've picked out new ones recently, Like, I'm very comfortable.
47:43
Speaker 1: I'm just comfortable and I love everyone and I want
47:45
Speaker 1: everyone to feel not afraid. I feel like educating some
47:48
Speaker 1: of these younger kids before they turn into crazy ass
47:50
Speaker 1: bullies that snatching off your jab in the hallway like
47:54
Speaker 1: can help too, in a positive, friendly way. I don't know.
47:56
Speaker 1: Did it affect you in a way because you was
47:58
Speaker 1: kind of choosing, like I guess feel or faith. Yeah, yes,
48:02
Speaker 1: that affects your relationship with God, that or affects the
48:05
Speaker 1: way you process um goodness. It's yes, that was a
48:11
Speaker 1: very interesting thing. I think a lot of things it's weird,
48:16
Speaker 1: like religion when you're young versus religion when you're older.
48:19
Speaker 1: It's shaped by your parents, the relationship with the church,
48:21
Speaker 1: the people in the church, et cetera. Like and when
48:23
Speaker 1: I say church, I mean any denomination that has a congregation.
48:26
Speaker 1: So I'm just thinking about I don't know. It took
48:31
Speaker 1: me a long time to like fall out of fear
48:35
Speaker 1: and like kind of fall into faith. But it's weird.
48:37
Speaker 1: I got into Christianity afterwards to learn, and not because
48:40
Speaker 1: I was afraid of Islam, but just because I spent
48:44
Speaker 1: like a lot of my childhood running from like the
48:48
Speaker 1: issues with my dad and that represented Islam at the
48:51
Speaker 1: time for me, and plus nine eleven plus everything else,
48:54
Speaker 1: which is like I just want to try something else,
48:55
Speaker 1: Like I just want to Like my dad is a
49:00
Speaker 1: very stern My dad is very stern, and he's very
49:03
Speaker 1: he doesn't mince words and he doesn't renig on things
49:07
Speaker 1: that he says, and sometimes, you know, I don't know.
49:12
Speaker 1: I think my dad was just growing at the same
49:14
Speaker 1: my parents were growing at the same time that I
49:15
Speaker 1: was growing, and I'm sure they wanted more for me.
49:19
Speaker 1: Initially they were afraid that I wouldn't have enough or
49:21
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be enough. And I don't know, I
49:24
Speaker 1: think my dad was just I get it. I get it.
49:27
Speaker 1: He was really going hard on some whole other ship.
49:29
Speaker 1: But I'm not afraid of anything. Didn't want you in
49:33
Speaker 1: the music industry. Oh, he didn't care about that. It's
49:36
Speaker 1: so backwards. He didn't want me on roller coasters, didn't
49:38
Speaker 1: want me like inventuring and doing like random things, but
49:41
Speaker 1: wanted me to go to school one of me. It's
49:43
Speaker 1: nothing that. It wasn't the music industry that he didn't want.
49:45
Speaker 1: It was more so he wanted me to do something
49:47
Speaker 1: with my life. And he felt like he wasn't sure
49:50
Speaker 1: if being in music was like doing something with my life.
49:52
Speaker 1: But but now he is. Yeah, he's down, he's so
49:56
Speaker 1: and he calls me. I'm like, thank you on me
49:59
Speaker 1: mad when he the whole album now, yes, something like
50:04
Speaker 1: I'm singing about me and from my perspective and everything.
50:10
Speaker 1: You think they're gonna talk to you about it and
50:11
Speaker 1: ask your questions since you said your mom never really
50:13
Speaker 1: addressed certain things about relationships, you think now is going
50:16
Speaker 1: to be like what you mean, what were you going through? Baby? No, No,
50:22
Speaker 1: I talked to my mom. It's funny. My mom is
50:24
Speaker 1: now like when I do I do talk to her
50:25
Speaker 1: about like men in the way I feel now, and
50:27
Speaker 1: she's very like she wants me to just be patient
50:32
Speaker 1: and like be loving and understanding, but also like not
50:36
Speaker 1: take no shit. I don't know, it's weird. I'm not
50:39
Speaker 1: very a vice person like from my home girls, Like
50:41
Speaker 1: I don't talk about men with my friends, but we
50:44
Speaker 1: hang out have fun. But I'm not really like that,
50:47
Speaker 1: Like I kind of just keep those kind of thoughts
50:49
Speaker 1: to myself, well explaining that I'm tited for you get
50:51
Speaker 1: out there because I can tell you gotta pee. No.
50:53
Speaker 1: I just you know what's crazy. I'm very like fidgety,
50:55
Speaker 1: and my legs are the most like fidgety part of me,
50:57
Speaker 1: so I always like adjust them and I want to
50:59
Speaker 1: say my legs voter, but I can't, and it's cherished. Yeah,
51:03
Speaker 1: let to stretch a lot. I stretched a lot every day.
51:05
Speaker 1: That's weird. So control, yeah, well it's a life concept.
51:11
Speaker 1: It's more so um when I first think about control,
51:16
Speaker 1: like the computer computer key, I think about sneaking up
51:18
Speaker 1: into my parents added to wait for the dialogue to
51:21
Speaker 1: like work, even though I'm banned from the phone and
51:23
Speaker 1: banned from the computer. Like it might be thirty sister,
51:26
Speaker 1: you make a lot of old Oh you might be
51:32
Speaker 1: over thirty if I was. Literally there's Twitter and aim
51:39
Speaker 1: and into it. All that came in the same of
51:41
Speaker 1: my lifetime. So like I was here before Twitter, I
51:44
Speaker 1: was here before real internet, like before it was like
51:47
Speaker 1: a whole worldwide web. And she was at the time.
51:51
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but I mean I was just on Juno
51:53
Speaker 1: and like googling random things like that's what any of
51:55
Speaker 1: us were doing on the Internet back then. It's not
51:56
Speaker 1: ship out to look at, Like, let me just google
51:58
Speaker 1: what else does look like? Bro? What's that? That's a
52:04
Speaker 1: You can ride around in that little van and just
52:06
Speaker 1: walk up to random girls and try to get them
52:08
Speaker 1: to have sex, right, No, roll up in a creepy
52:19
Speaker 1: van and ask womens Okay, but control, I'm sorry, Okay. Control.
52:31
Speaker 1: Control is a concept. It's just I've just lacked control
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Speaker 1: in my whole life, and I think I've craved it
52:36
Speaker 1: my whole life and I couldn't really arrive at it.
52:38
Speaker 1: And now I'm not really looking to arrive at it anymore.
52:41
Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be present and then trying to
52:45
Speaker 1: It's weird. If you try to control a future moment,
52:48
Speaker 1: it's impossible and there's no sustings control anyway. She's a concept,
52:52
Speaker 1: it's a word, it's a fantasy. And but if you
52:55
Speaker 1: focus on controlling, like the way you feel in the
52:58
Speaker 1: now and what you do with it now, I feel
53:01
Speaker 1: like it leads to having true control in the future.
53:05
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a theory. I'll figure out, but
53:09
Speaker 1: we like watching you figure it out. The album is
53:11
Speaker 1: really dope. I'm not just saying that, it's really it's
53:15
Speaker 1: a really good album. You should be proud of yourself, Sis, Yes,
53:20
Speaker 1: all right, Scissor. It's The Breakfast Club. Good Morning, the
53:27
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. Every weekday morning tune in