Latest / Heroes Behind the Badge / She Was Taken to the Wrong Hospital While Her Husband Died | Part 1

Transcript

She Was Taken to the Wrong Hospital While Her Husband Died | Part 1 · Heroes Behind the Badge

0:00
and this one officer, you could actually
0:02
see the color leave his face.
0:04
He said, "You're the one
0:06
that wrote that over there?"
0:08
I said, "Yes." I mean,
0:11
tears were coming down.
0:12
He said, "You're the one that let me know
0:15
I don't have to die to be appreciated."
0:18
[MUSIC]
0:29
Vivian Eney Cross would go on to leave a
0:31
permanent mark on one of
0:33
America's most sacred monuments.
0:35
But in August of 1984, she was just a
0:38
wife waiting for her husband to come home
0:40
from a training exercise.
0:42
So let's go back to
0:43
that fateful day, Vivian.
0:46
It's August 24, 1984. Your husband is
0:50
U.S. Capitol Police Sergeant Chris Eney.
0:55
Unfortunately, in a training exercise, he
0:58
was shot and killed, not by a criminal,
1:01
but unfortunately by a
1:02
fellow officer, in fact, a friend.
1:05
He left behind, of course, you and your
1:07
two young daughters.
1:11
Our guest today on Heroes Behind the
1:13
Badge is Vivian Eney Cross.
1:17
And what she did with that grief, that
1:20
unbelievable grief,
1:21
what she built from it,
1:24
that's the story that we're going to tell
1:27
today. That's the
1:28
conversation that you need to hear.
1:31
If you've ever visited D.C., the law
1:33
enforcement memorial wall, Judiciary
1:35
Square in Washington, D.C.,
1:38
unfortunately, there are over 24,000
1:40
names inscribed on that
1:42
wall of fallen officers.
1:44
Okay? But there's also an inscription,
1:47
and there are four lions
1:48
that guard the memorial wall.
1:52
And one of the lions on the west, the
1:55
northwest side of the
1:57
memorial, has an inscription.
1:59
And it's important to know what that was.
2:03
It's not how these officers
2:05
died that made them heroes.
2:07
It's how they lived. And you know, I've
2:10
been to the memorial hundreds of times.
2:13
I saw the inscription. I saw the name,
2:16
but I never was able
2:17
to put it with a face.
2:19
So today, finally, that is your
2:22
inscription. It is inscribed on the
2:24
marble walls of the Law
2:26
Enforcement Memorial. So I'd like to
2:29
start today by asking you
2:32
about Chris. You know, on Heroes
2:34
Behind the Badge podcast, we talk about
2:36
people who've done heroic
2:38
things, people who have paid
2:41
the ultimate price, but we oftentimes
2:43
don't talk about how they
2:45
lived. Let's take it right from
2:47
your quote. Talk to us about Chris and
2:51
how he lived. He was a
2:53
good man. He had integrity.
2:57
And we met in high school, dated on and
3:02
off. And then after high school, he
3:05
joined the army with
3:06
my brother. And he went into Green
3:09
Berets. And he was a Special Forces medic
3:13
that he never left the
3:15
United States. It was the height of the
3:18
war. So it just God must
3:20
have said, no, not this time.
3:23
So he did that. And then after he got
3:26
back, we got pregnant and
3:29
then he wanted to look for a
3:33
serious job. And there was a gentleman at
3:38
our church that was a
3:40
deputy chief, Yancey Garner.
3:43
And he knew him and talked to him. And he
3:46
was the influence for him to
3:48
go on over to Capitol Police
3:51
and to get on that department.
3:56
And interesting. How long had he served?
4:01
How long was Capitol Police?
4:04
12 and a half years.
4:06
12 and a half years. Do you recall any of
4:09
his recollections about
4:10
what it was like to police
4:12
the U.S. Capitol? You know, one of the
4:14
most prestigious police
4:17
positions you can have.
4:19
How did he feel about that?
4:22
He was very serious about his job there.
4:29
He had the privilege of guarding and
4:31
keeping the U.S. Capitol.
4:34
And it was an honor for him to do that.
4:37
Indeed. Indeed. Craig Floyd, one of our
4:42
co-hosts. Hey, Craig. Hello, Craig.
4:45
Dennis.
4:46
And Billy's here too. Billy Erfurth. We
4:48
got the whole crew here
4:49
for Vivian. Everybody.
4:50
Everybody showed up. Craig has some
4:54
particularly poignant memories.
4:58
He has a lot of history. Obviously, he's
5:00
the founder of the
5:01
memorial and had a long history
5:03
there. And you and Craig know each other
5:06
pretty well. I'd love to
5:07
hear Craig and you maybe have
5:09
some conversations about some of the
5:10
things that you guys
5:11
experienced together.
5:14
Let me start with a story very briefly,
5:18
but so powerful. And for me, especially,
5:23
I had the privilege of working for
5:25
Congressman Mario Biaggi, who introduced
5:28
the bill to authorize
5:30
a national law enforcement officers
5:32
memorial to be built. And that happened
5:34
in 1984, the same year
5:36
Vivian's husband, Chris, died in the line
5:38
of duty. And so a year
5:40
later in May, there was a group
5:43
called Concerns of Police Survivors that
5:45
was fledgling. It had
5:47
just started. Susie Sawyer
5:49
was their founder and executive director.
5:51
And Susie said, Craig,
5:52
come and talk to this group of
5:54
surviving family members that had
5:57
gathered really for the
5:58
first time in Washington, D.C.
6:01
for National Police Week and tell them
6:03
about this memorial that
6:05
Congressman Biaggi has now
6:08
authorized through law. And so I gave a
6:10
nice speech about the new
6:12
law, about this memorial
6:13
that was going to be built to honor the
6:15
men and women who had
6:16
died in the line of duty.
6:18
And I felt pretty good. You know, got a
6:20
nice ovation. I think
6:21
people were pretty happy with
6:23
the message I delivered. Went back to my
6:26
office and a couple hours
6:27
later, the phone rings. And
6:29
it's Vivian Eney calling me. And I
6:33
thought, oh, you know, she's a survivor.
6:35
I'm sure she's going
6:35
to thank me and say all these nice
6:38
things. That didn't actually happen.
6:41
Vivian was a rather angry,
6:43
rather bitter. She had lost her husband.
6:47
I told her how much
6:48
America cared, how much Congress
6:51
cared. And that's why we are building
6:53
this memorial. And
6:54
Vivian's experience was not so
6:57
positive. She did not feel that those
7:01
words really were authentic and true. And
7:05
she more or less read
7:06
me the riot act a bit. Fended, you know,
7:08
and I was the target, but I
7:11
knew she wasn't venting at
7:12
me. She was just getting it off her
7:15
system. But Vivian taught me something
7:17
very important that day.
7:19
She explained to me how many cards and
7:21
letters and phone calls she
7:23
had gotten from members of
7:24
Congress, from others, and how much that
7:28
meant to her. And I
7:29
thought to myself, my goodness,
7:31
if a condolence card or a phone call
7:34
could mean so much to a
7:35
survivor who's lost a loved one,
7:37
how much would a national monument mean?
7:40
A national memorial?
7:42
And for the first time,
7:43
I think I fully appreciated the
7:46
importance of the project that I had been
7:49
handed by Congressman
7:50
Biaggi. He said, "Go out and build this
7:52
memorial." And until then, it was just
7:55
one of many projects,
7:56
one of many issues I was working on for
7:58
him. But all of a sudden,
8:00
that project rose to the top of
8:02
the heap. And it became really my life's
8:05
calling after that, meeting
8:07
people like Vivian. She started
8:09
it, and I met thousands of survivors and
8:12
officers after that that
8:13
reinforced her message that this
8:16
memorial was in fact very important. But
8:18
Vivian, I'd like you to go
8:20
back and talk to us about the
8:23
difference between the way survivors were
8:26
treated in 1984, 1985, how they're
8:30
treated today, and how
8:31
these fallen heroes are honored today
8:35
versus what was happening
8:36
back in 1984, when there was no
8:39
memorial. Good question. Yes. Well,
8:43
Chris's death with Capitol
8:46
Police started a nightmare that
8:51
the department or my family didn't get
8:55
out of quickly. The first
8:57
inkling I had that anything
8:59
was wrong was a phone call. I was told
9:02
Chris was shot and to sit
9:04
tight, somebody would pick me up
9:07
and take me down to where he was. Well,
9:09
I'm putting on my makeup,
9:11
you know, thinking we're
9:12
going to laugh about him being shot in
9:16
the foot or something. That
9:17
was about as far as it went.
9:19
And they did send the officer, and he
9:22
took me to the wrong
9:23
hospital. And by the time I got to the
9:26
right hospital, Chris was dead. And it
9:32
just got worse from there.
9:36
So many ways in the DC area,
9:39
you fall through the cracks. We lived in
9:41
Maryland, but there were no
9:43
Maryland death benefits. He
9:45
worked in DC, but not for DC. And there
9:49
were no benefits. And
9:51
with Capitol Police, their
9:54
legislative and the other federal
9:57
officers are judicial. And although they
10:00
all give monetary for
10:04
comp time and annual leave, legislative
10:08
did not. So he had over
10:11
1,000 hours of comp time
10:14
that they wouldn't pay me for. And it was
10:18
just crazy. Chris and
10:19
I were not prepared.
10:22
I mean, everything was in his name. And I
10:27
ended up having to pay
10:29
inheritance tax on what was mine because
10:32
my name wasn't on any of the documents.
10:36
It was just blow after blow after blow.
10:42
And it really takes you to
10:44
your knees. And then when
10:46
a department isn't prepared, it's
10:50
additional trauma. They're
10:52
not. When it comes for a line of
10:54
duty death and they haven't prepared,
10:58
they react instead of act.
11:01
And that's when a lot of those
11:03
other traumas will occur. And I was. I
11:07
was so angry and so bitter for such a
11:11
long time. And it was
11:12
finally my preacher during a summer
11:15
during a sermon said, being
11:18
bitter is like taking poison
11:21
and waiting for somebody else to die. And
11:24
I thought that's exactly
11:27
what I'm doing. I'm waiting for
11:29
somebody else to die. And that's when I
11:34
thought I've got to get
11:35
better. I've got to get my girls
11:38
through this. We all have to get through
11:41
it together. I mean,
11:43
how old were Shannon and
11:45
Heather, your two daughters at the time
11:46
of Chris's death? They were nine and 11.
11:50
Nine and 11. Here's another memory I
11:52
have. And you can talk
11:54
about it. You and your two,
11:57
nine and 11 year old daughters going door
11:59
to door on Capitol Hill,
12:02
telling members of Congress that
12:04
you were not able to get any federal
12:07
death benefit. There was
12:08
a federal death benefit in
12:09
place at the time it was authorized in
12:11
1976, $50,000 at the time for any
12:15
surviving family member of
12:17
an officer who died in the line of duty.
12:19
But it only applied to state
12:20
and local officers. And you
12:23
had to go and tell members of Congress
12:25
who Chris worked for to
12:27
protect that you were not getting
12:31
those benefits. You and your daughters
12:32
were not part of that
12:35
legislation. So tell me, and then
12:39
that even became more of a nightmare.
12:41
Explain that and then that journey.
12:44
Yes, it was when I was
12:46
told there was the PSOB.
12:48
The PSOB. It had been
12:52
written and unintentionally
12:56
disclued did not include federal
12:59
officers. And so they said, hang on,
13:03
we're going to make it better.
13:04
We're going through to rewrite it now.
13:07
And so they did that and
13:11
they made it retroactive to
13:14
September 1st, 1984. And Chris was killed
13:19
in October 24th, 1984.
13:22
August 24th, yes.
13:24
Yeah, so it was it
13:26
was not available to me.
13:28
Unbelievable.
13:29
Of course, the police officers on Capitol
13:34
Hill, they were really
13:35
talking it up with senators and
13:37
congressmen. I went around with the girls
13:40
and I handed a letter
13:42
to everybody on the Hill.
13:47
And it took over two years to get that
13:51
personal relief bill so
13:53
that I could have access to
13:56
that benefit, which I felt was mine to
13:59
have. I didn't want anything
14:01
wasn't do me, but I felt it was mine to
14:04
get and help with the girls.
14:07
We talked about the pastor helping you
14:09
get through your grief and bitterness.
14:12
There was another group that played a
14:14
role in that I know. And and
14:16
that's the concerns of police
14:17
survivors, cops. I mentioned Susie
14:20
Sawyer, who started that
14:21
group in 1984. And you were one of
14:24
the first members. You probably attended
14:26
the first survivor
14:27
meeting of cops in 1985.
14:31
Talk about cops. You went on to serve as
14:33
their national president for two years,
14:35
not just one is typical three years. My
14:38
goodness. All right. So you
14:40
were there for three years as
14:41
their president early on. Talk about how
14:44
cops helped you and what
14:46
cops does for other survivors.
14:49
Well, one of the first things it does is
14:51
you go there and
14:54
somebody will come up to you and
14:55
ask you about the incident that took your
14:58
loved one's life. And
15:00
they will say, I know.
15:03
And you know that they know because
15:06
they're police survivors. And to hear
15:09
somebody say that and
15:11
realize they really do know what I'm
15:15
going through was
15:16
tremendous. Just to be able to talk
15:20
to other survivors. Some had had it worse
15:24
than I did. Some had
15:26
had it much better. But it
15:28
bring it. It brought levelness to the
15:33
whole survivor issue because
15:35
we were all there together.
15:37
And it was just great. It it really
15:42
helped in me getting rid of that
15:45
bitterness and that anger.
15:47
And I I just felt that, well, I'm not
15:50
doing any good to myself or my girls
15:52
while I'm like this.
15:54
But if I walk away from that bitterness,
15:57
it helps me help others who are going
16:01
through the same thing.
16:04
And Vivian, let me jump in and ask you.
16:06
So how did you help some
16:07
people? I'd like to hear you.
16:09
You talked about some had it worse. Some
16:11
had it better. There's
16:13
probably some really significant
16:15
moving stories that maybe are worth
16:18
sharing. Yes. One I think
16:21
of. Excuse me, is Judy Welsh.
16:28
Her husband was a D.C. police officer
16:32
that he went into the it's off what
16:37
street I can't think
16:38
14th Street. Anyway, a woman who had
16:40
escaped St. Elizabeth's had
16:44
run to the bridge and jumped
16:45
off the bridge and he went in after her.
16:50
But he never surfaced. And
16:53
Judy was eight and a half
16:56
months pregnant when he died. And she had
17:01
really so much support
17:03
from the agency that it really
17:08
helped her. I went with her when she went
17:12
to see her husband and
17:15
down the road, her brother
17:18
died overseas. They're really not sure
17:22
what caused it. I think it
17:25
was he was involved in a band
17:28
that was really kind of living on the
17:30
wild side. But I went with her
17:32
to see her brother. And you do
17:36
that. You call them on days that you
17:41
think maybe they want to hear somebody
17:43
else's voice that knows,
17:46
and it is just so meaningful. Let me tell
17:49
you a story. When my
17:53
daughter Heather got up the day
17:55
that Chris was killed there on the
17:57
kitchen table were two erasers
18:00
that Chris had gotten her for
18:02
her brand new chalkboard. So she sat down
18:06
and wrote this thank you
18:07
letter thanking him for getting
18:10
them for her. And of course, he never got
18:13
the letter. He was he was
18:16
killed that day. And if you
18:19
fast forward maybe four or five years
18:22
later, and we're in the car,
18:26
and Heather says, Mom, you got
18:27
to listen to this song. And she turned it
18:30
up. And I'm aging myself. It
18:33
was Mike and the mechanics,
18:35
the living years. And the voice came on
18:38
the verse came on that said,
18:40
I wasn't home that morning,
18:43
my father passed away. I didn't get to
18:46
tell him all the things I had
18:48
to say. And so I grabbed her
18:51
hand and I said, Well, Heather, what
18:53
would you have said to your
18:54
dad? And she said, I would have
18:59
asked him to watch over me, I would have
19:02
asked him to love me every
19:05
day, but I would have thanked
19:07
him for my erasers. And with that, she
19:09
started to cry. And so I held
19:12
her hand. And we got to where
19:15
we were going. But when I got back to the
19:19
house, I called another
19:21
survivor who knew what those
19:23
moments were like, who would talk me
19:26
through it, not pity me, pity
19:29
is a wasted emotion, just help
19:31
me be and do what I need to for myself
19:36
and my girls and others
19:38
that are going through this.
19:40
And so it's it's just this camaraderie
19:43
that is based on an event that ties you
19:48
together completely.
19:51
And sometimes I would call people and ask
19:54
for help. Sometimes they would call me.
19:58
But it was a network of resources to find
20:03
those people who really
20:05
get you and can help you
20:08
become what you need
20:09
to be for your family.
20:12
Yeah, you know, Dennis and Bill, I want
20:16
to summarize a little bit
20:17
of why Vivian's place in
20:19
1985 was a little different than what a
20:22
survivor's position might
20:23
be today. You know, no death
20:26
benefit, all right, for at least federal
20:28
officers when Chris died.
20:31
There was just a new group called
20:33
Concerns of Police Survivors, but nobody
20:35
yet was calling each other.
20:37
There was no network of support
20:39
that exists today. As Vivian describes,
20:42
there was no National Law
20:44
Enforcement Officers Memorial
20:46
because it wasn't dedicated until 1991.
20:50
Chris died in 1984. And,
20:53
you know, so much has changed.
20:55
There was no National Law Enforcement
20:57
Museum. And the way we
21:00
honor officers today is just so
21:02
incredibly different and better than it
21:06
was when Vivian was going
21:08
through this grief. And I just
21:10
want people to understand that. That's
21:12
why, you know, survivors back in the day
21:14
maybe felt neglected,
21:16
felt like nobody cared, nobody
21:18
remembered. And that's what
21:20
Vivian taught me. And that's why
21:22
I think that memorial has become so
21:24
special, that museum, the COPS group, the
21:28
death benefit, which
21:29
today I think is well over $300,000
21:32
because they put in a
21:33
cost of living adjustment. So
21:35
it is meaningful. And then there was
21:37
another group that came
21:39
along and helped you, Vivian.
21:41
It was a group called Heroes. A lot of
21:44
groups similar to Heroes
21:45
are called 100 clubs or 200
21:47
clubs around the country. Talk to me
21:50
about what Heroes is and what
21:52
it did for you and the girls.
21:54
Well, they stay low key. At some point
22:01
after your husband's death,
22:03
you will go in to see them.
22:05
And then they will let you know what they
22:07
will be able to do for you.
22:10
Not in the emotional realm,
22:13
but in the realm of benefits, of house
22:19
payments, and just a whole
22:20
bunch of stuff they're able to do.
22:23
And of course, it depends on
22:24
the needs of the survivors.
22:27
Just so people understand, this is a
22:29
group of business leaders in
22:31
the local community who have
22:34
put forth money to assist surviving
22:37
family members of public
22:39
safety officers killed in the
22:40
line of duty. So these are private
22:42
individuals. They don't want a lot of
22:44
glory or recognition,
22:45
as Vivian mentioned, but they do assist
22:48
you in a meaningful way.
22:50
Absolutely. I believe they started after
22:55
President Kennedy was
22:57
shot. And at the same time,
23:00
there was an officer shot. And back then,
23:04
the only way you could
23:06
get some support financially
23:09
was having it in the newspaper or on the
23:12
radio. And this officer got
23:15
nothing because the airways
23:17
were just full of Kennedy and all that
23:20
was going on with that death.
23:24
And they are just wonderful.
23:26
I cannot tell you how good they are. I
23:29
mean, they just listen
23:31
to you. They very quietly
23:33
tell you what they're
23:34
going to do. And they do it.
23:38
I want to just go back because it's kind
23:43
of left me still
23:45
wondering and wanting to ask a
23:47
question. Clearly, a lot of the benefits
23:51
have changed over the
23:53
years. I mean, here in Florida,
23:55
an officer is killed in the line of duty.
23:57
There are so many different
23:58
organizations that step up
23:59
financially. They fund your children's
24:03
college education and
24:04
whatnot. So you took your two
24:06
daughters around Congress and you met
24:08
with all these folks. And I
24:11
don't know, did you ever get
24:13
that resolved? Did you ever get that
24:15
money and did it ever lead to benefits
24:19
for everybody in the
24:22
future there? No, no, certainly they are
24:27
handling survivors much,
24:30
much different. I mean, much,
24:31
much better. It is day and night
24:34
different. They've got liaison officers
24:40
now full time who do this
24:43
stuff for survivors. Anything that comes
24:45
up, they'll ask you if
24:47
you want to go to it.
24:50
Capitol Police has become my family. They
24:52
are wonderful. They
24:54
were just not aware, not
24:57
prepared for line of duty death. And when
25:00
it happened, it just
25:01
things went haywire. But oh,
25:03
yeah, the survivors. And of course,
25:05
there's been other survivors at Capitol
25:08
Police since Chris died.
25:11
And although no survivor is ever going to
25:13
say, I'm happy completely
25:16
with what how they handled
25:17
me because you're wrapped around this
25:20
intense grief that comes at first. It
25:23
just plows into you.
25:25
And that part is difficult. But boy, do
25:28
they treat those survivors
25:29
better. And I am so glad they've
25:33
got a wonderful group of officers who
25:36
really take care of us. And it's amazing.
25:40
You've heard how she survived. In part
25:42
two, you'll hear how she
25:44
shaped the memorial that
25:45
stands today and the
25:46
words inscribed on its wall.
26:10
anyway.