Latest / Very Fine Friends / Mission Impossible: Ghost Toe-tocal

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Mission Impossible: Ghost Toe-tocal · Very Fine Friends

0:00
we're just so many all the time we can't save everything for the no some of it's for us some
0:19
of it is just for us and god but mostly us yes yeah the ashes what you're saying about
0:26
could you turn ashes back into a log i like you want to turn ashes back into a log not a human
0:31
being no one cremated um yeah that doesn't appeal to me at all but i was thinking um
0:38
because you could just burn it again talk about unlimited fuel burn it scoop it
0:45
this makes me feel stupid uh for even asking this but where does the rest of the mass of a thing that
0:53
you burn go atmosphere really it's just like yeah it i'm a lawyer and
1:00
earth expert that is the technical term you're an ee a jd and an ee oh yep earth expert uh well
1:13
i know that the earth experts in our audience are like slapping their foreheads that i'm even
1:18
asking that question i know all of them i yeah you are their leader um um uh okay well atmosphere
1:29
yeah they go into the atmosphere and you breathe it oh it's okay so i'm breathing logs right now
1:36
yep okay all right uh well welcome to the podcast everybody um
1:47
This is Friends Like Us.
1:51
Not friends lick us.
1:52
Not friends like Gus.
1:55
Nope.
1:56
Friends Like Us.
1:58
It's the podcast where friends talk about stuff.
2:02
So, Francis, I mean, how have you been since we last spoke?
2:08
I've been great.
2:10
It's hot.
2:11
Dennis, is that you, Dennis?
2:13
um yeah not a lot's happened again days the same moments the same you look good oh thank you i've
2:23
been hoping you'd say that yeah oh sorry i forgot to introduce myself i'm jenna and i'm the man that
2:30
looks good is francis yes and the woman that looks good is jenna oh thank you actually i think i
2:34
should describe you because the audience can't see you yet okay um start with how lithe i am
2:39
very lie let me do this in my own way okay i'm sorry i'm sorry she's live
2:44
picture the the hottest girl you know that girl is now ugly yeah and not live but if you know me
2:55
don't picture me and then now i'm ugly this is only if you don't already know me oh this is just
3:01
like that it's like when you try to explain how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to like
3:05
someone who doesn't know what any object is oh and you have to do like you give you like pull out
3:10
the bread and then like where are they pulling it from right and the teacher's like what's bread
3:13
and you're like oh come on yeah maybe just eat the damn thing and don't ask how it's made shut up
3:20
that reminds me of being in elementary school no middle school is that um eighth grade is that
3:28
middle school middle school is six seventh eighth i think oh that's a nice nugget of knowledge
3:34
You're welcome.
3:35
Thank you.
3:36
I'm a middle school expert.
3:38
Okay, that's on earth.
3:39
I should have known it.
3:40
I know.
3:41
I was thinking how I had this teacher who, this is going to sound benign, but it really
3:48
bugged me.
3:49
Was that your word?
3:51
Was benign your word?
3:52
No.
3:53
Okay.
3:54
Before, I should explain, folks.
3:56
We do a little something on the pod.
3:57
Our producer gives each of us a secret word to say during the podcast.
4:02
And if we can catch the other one saying their secret word, we get a prize that is yet to be determined.
4:10
But if you're wrong.
4:11
I die.
4:12
No, no, no.
4:13
Let's start lighter than that.
4:14
Okay.
4:15
All right.
4:15
Okay.
4:16
I'm going to choke her.
4:18
Make choking noises.
4:21
I'm done.
4:23
Do better.
4:25
I enjoyed that, actually.
4:26
Okay.
4:28
Here's Joe with today's secret words.
4:30
jenna's secret word is honed francis's secret word is kidnappers back to the pod
4:40
so i i thought benign might have been francis's word it's not uh so i am punished anyway so
4:50
sorry is your word punished no i thought you were trying to slip it in my ass oh no i gotta choke
4:55
you know no harder do better okay sorry go back to your story the teacher yes um she had exposed
5:08
toes okay the way you said that made it sound like it was some kind of deformity or something
5:18
or like some kind of like something but you're just me she wore like sandals that's exactly what
5:24
i mean and like there was nothing wrong with her feet but i feel like when toes are in the room
5:32
that's where your eye just goes goes to toes yeah and um it just i found it very distracting
5:41
just my science teacher toes are in the room
5:47
um my middle school i should just tell you that i was not um i was an odd child of course
5:55
and i used to laugh uncontrollably um i would start laughing and i couldn't stop and i'd have
6:01
to be like removed a lot in math because i would i didn't understand math so i would like zone out
6:07
think of something funny laugh and be kicked out and um a girl in my class had pigtails braids
6:15
and I remember like sliding pencils into her braids slowly so that she didn't know.
6:23
And then she started like flicking her hair like casually.
6:27
And so the pencils were like flying around.
6:29
And then I lost, I just lost it.
6:32
And my teacher like did the like Tommy boy like loud sigh, slow turn,
6:41
and just like get out.
6:45
so that's would be funny that would be funny for anyone i think yeah that's legitimate let me laugh
6:52
yeah rhymes with math goes to toes
6:57
sounds like you're italian talking about ghost toes
7:02
ghost toes
7:05
oh i like the idea that only a specific part of your body can haunt
7:14
can come back and haunt you.
7:17
The rest of you is still alive.
7:19
Oh, so some...
7:19
Okay, so...
7:21
It's like if you get...
7:22
What's the health thing
7:23
when you have, like, frostbite or something?
7:26
Oh.
7:27
When your, like, toes are dead?
7:28
Like, gangrene or something?
7:29
Oh, yeah.
7:30
And so you...
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Yeah.
7:32
Now you've got...
7:32
Coast to toes.
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Look out.
7:34
I'm telling you.
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If you had to pick one part of your body,
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like, if you died,
7:38
your whole body died.
7:40
You mean when?
7:41
Go on.
7:42
No, if.
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science will catch up
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and you
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can only have one part of your body come
7:49
back and you can't
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say your genitals I wouldn't
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I'm ready for those to go
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those have served their purpose
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they're done now
8:00
those are needed in heaven what part
8:03
of your body would you come back to be the
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haunting part
8:05
well what are they capable of like people just see
8:09
this disembodied yeah like whatever
8:11
ghosts do in life
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now like
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if a ghost was in the room right now it'd be the same thing
8:18
except it would be like just one part of the
8:20
body. I guess I would pick my eyes.
8:22
That's a good answer.
8:24
You have nice eyes. I wasn't trying
8:26
to please people. I was
8:28
trying to unsettle them.
8:29
That would be a good answer. As someone
8:32
who will be haunted by
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your eyes. I'm happy
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about that. And what would you pick?
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I don't
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know um maybe fingers but not the palm of my hand just fingers do you think you would know it was
8:51
fingers if they were just like floating yeah because they're not those yeah that still looks
9:00
like a finger you wouldn't think it was like a worm or like a no my nails will still be painted
9:05
Oh, yeah.
9:07
My nails will still be painted.
9:08
Oh, and I'd know those hands anywhere.
9:09
For the audience at home Jenna has really nice gorgeous model hands For the audience at home Francis has an inflated view of my hands I don know why he likes my hands so much
9:21
She's humble, too.
9:23
I just remembered I had a dream the other night that my dad was drinking a Diet Coke,
9:28
which he does not drink, and there was something in it,
9:32
and I was like, what if it's a human finger?
9:34
It's like, you could sue Coke and get so much money
9:37
because there was like something in the can.
9:40
And then I opened up the can and it was pills that were in the can.
9:44
It wasn't a human finger.
9:45
I feel like you could sue for that too.
9:46
I know.
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And I was surprised that they hadn't disintegrated
9:49
because they were like the capsule pills.
9:51
And it was like in the Coke, it didn't disintegrate yet.
9:53
See, Coke's safe.
9:55
That's, yep.
9:57
The Earth expert.
9:58
Oh, this was a dream?
9:59
This was a dream.
10:00
Oh, I was, okay.
10:02
Oh, no, otherwise you would have heard about this on the news.
10:04
We already would have sued Coke.
10:06
Would you have given me any money?
10:07
Well, in this case, I guess it would be my dad.
10:09
But if it was me, yeah, I'd keep you on retainer.
10:13
I appreciate that.
10:14
Like an entourage or something.
10:15
I'd pay you to be my friend.
10:17
Oh, my God.
10:17
I would do it for free, but it's like a tip.
10:19
Yeah, kind of.
10:21
Thank you.
10:22
Yeah.
10:24
Friends like us.
10:24
Friends like us.
10:27
Let's move to our first segment.
10:32
Let's open up the invention of the week.
10:35
Oh, you're going to love this.
10:37
inventions.
10:43
The invention of the week
10:45
is a...
10:49
Maybe you won't like it.
10:51
Okay, here's a different one.
10:53
It is...
10:55
How many times have you been
10:56
out at a restaurant?
10:58
Has this ever happened to you?
11:00
Exactly.
11:00
You know what I'm talking about.
11:02
Where you're with your friends
11:04
and it's a loud environment.
11:05
You can't hear anybody.
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at least I can
11:08
it's like god I wish I knew what they were saying
11:10
I don't want to ask them to repeat themselves
11:11
so instead you just smile
11:14
and
11:14
my invention is
11:18
a
11:20
it's a
11:22
collar it's a metal
11:24
telescoping collar so it goes
11:26
around you like
11:27
like old fashioned like Edwardian
11:30
collar okay and
11:32
you can telescope out
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the
11:36
like wings and your friends all have one too and it keeps the conversation
11:43
acoustically present stops it from like going out so other people can't overhear you
11:51
you mean the main intention is that you hear you okay but then so but okay so acoustically
12:04
you hear yourself
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you look like
12:10
you're like
12:11
how are you not getting this
12:12
you idiot
12:14
I said a warden collar
12:16
and it keeps the present
12:18
conversation down
12:19
so you do get it
12:20
yeah it keeps the conversation
12:22
in your ring of friendship
12:24
so everyone's
12:25
everyone's wearing like a dog
12:27
neck collar
12:29
your words
12:29
and please don't poison those
12:31
with dog collar
12:32
alright
12:33
It's all that people need to hear and they're not going to buy it.
12:35
No, Edwardian acoustic collar.
12:38
Okay.
12:39
And so it makes it...
12:41
So does it block...
12:43
It doesn't block out the outside noise.
12:45
In a way it does because by amplifying the conversation happening around you,
12:49
it means that you're listening to the other stuff less.
12:52
All right.
12:54
So I think you've invented walls.
12:57
I think the walls that you wear.
13:00
I find that reductive.
13:01
But yeah, but it would help.
13:05
But does it help stop other people from listening to your conversations?
13:10
I feel like that's really important to you.
13:12
Well, I mean, that's kind of more that's more important, I think, than because.
13:19
OK, if we're at the point where a group of friends is all deliberately wearing Edwardian
13:28
callers specifically so they can hear each other better wouldn't then couldn't you just then be
13:34
like let's all just talk a little louder i don't know if i feel comfortable asking that you would
13:42
be comfortable asking that everyone wear an eduardian color don't think of it as something
13:46
you bring from home think of it as something the bar has that you can borrow okay like a booster
13:53
seat okay or parmesan cheese you give back the parmesan cheese you don't have to
14:01
anyway um stew on it uh okay what is this invention called hear me roar
14:11
i would buy it for the name alone uh but i feel like okay so you're saying to be clear because it
14:29
seems like you're getting angry at me for asking this you don't want it to stop other people from
14:34
hearing you you just want it so that your friends hear you we can have a upgrade model
14:44
we're on the back of the collar it's putting out
14:47
you know yeah like a frequency so it does obscure if that's something that would help you invest
14:57
if that helps you
15:00
uh yeah because again if everyone's just wearing these things why not just be a little bit louder
15:11
the reason to not be a little bit louder is because you don't want other people to overhear
15:14
you well the the original idea for this was different but because it was so similar to
15:21
last week's invention i didn't want to say it but it was basically a table umbrella
15:26
you know you put it in the middle of the table and you open it up and it's like a little umbrella
15:34
around the whole table and it keeps the conversation in but i like that actually
15:38
i have a new name okay how do you speak at night
15:44
oh somehow better than hear me roar
15:52
I feel like you really
15:56
honed your naming
15:58
craft. Good job.
16:00
Thank you. Sugar crush.
16:05
Was your word craft?
16:07
It was not
16:08
Oh, nice try.
16:10
It was not my word.
16:12
Do you want to make a slapping noise?
16:17
Do better.
16:18
Okay.
16:20
I don't know if this is
16:21
an invest for me i'm gonna be honest if if you add if you add some kind of noise canceling thing
16:27
so that other people can't hear you i'm on board but i know that bastardizes your original invention
16:33
that's not what you wanted that's not your vision okay so you're saying i brought that to you that's
16:39
my shark take and i don't have it's not on that one you're saying no and i'm going home to cry
16:49
myself to sleep yes yeah so it's up to you are you a purist do you keep the vision i'm a money man
16:57
okay all right well then if you add that feature i'll invest and our audience can check it out on
17:02
our website friendslikeuspod.com forward slash how do you sleep at night how do you speak
17:10
my bad i went right to the pun source oh no you pulled back the curtain on how the joke was made
17:19
burn back the collar burn back the collar wow
17:23
all right i think it might be time to close the invention of the week all right
17:31
uh okay let's move on to our next segment uh seance
17:40
She blinded me with seance.
17:47
Ooh.
17:50
And not just because we discovered ghost-a-toes.
17:54
Are we playing seance?
17:57
So our producer Joe has a dead celebrity,
18:02
and Francis and I are going to try and guess who it is
18:07
via the guess who, like the game guess who,
18:10
the yes or no questions, and we're going to see if we can bring this dead celebrity back
18:14
to life.
18:15
Oh, I like that.
18:16
Yeah.
18:17
All right.
18:18
So, Francis, you want to have the honor of the first question?
18:21
The first question.
18:22
First question.
18:22
Is this a woman?
18:27
No it is not No not a woman um ask if it a man it wasting a question okay francis uh okay um
18:41
i don't have another one yet i'm trying i'm trying to strategize do we have a
18:48
set number of questions that we can ask do we get to 20 all right let's let's cap it we've
18:53
He's invoked guess who?
18:54
He's invoked 20 questions.
18:56
I know.
18:57
For the brand new game of seance.
19:00
You're losing focus.
19:01
A celebrity is dead, okay?
19:02
We have to try and bring them back.
19:04
Okay.
19:05
Did he die in the 21st century?
19:11
Yes.
19:12
Okay.
19:15
We just got an audience question.
19:17
When is that?
19:19
From the year 2000 on.
19:21
Okay, I don't know.
19:22
And you said yes?
19:23
Thank you, audience member, for that clarifying question.
19:26
Okay.
19:29
Is this an action star?
19:34
No.
19:35
Ooh.
19:37
Is this an actor?
19:39
Yes.
19:39
Okay.
19:40
Hmm.
19:43
Is this someone who's funny?
19:48
Yes.
19:48
is it
19:53
norm mcdonald
19:55
no
19:57
is it
19:58
good guess though
19:59
thank you
20:00
oh my god he said good guess
20:02
if he doesn't say that to me
20:04
you go kill yourself
20:05
it's like when you go to a restaurant
20:06
do better
20:07
and the waiter doesn't
20:09
they don't like your order
20:10
when they don't tell you good order
20:11
yeah
20:12
yeah
20:13
is it robin williams
20:14
no
20:15
oh darn
20:17
check again
20:20
bad guess
20:23
damn
20:24
alright
20:27
do they have brown hair
20:29
I don't know
20:36
I'm coming up empty here Francis
20:38
this is the one and only time we play
20:41
are they a carbon
20:45
based life form
20:46
um i'm gonna say did you say yes or no i i'm not sure if we're accepting that question as canon or
20:53
not yeah i mean they did at one point have brown hair oh that was some revealing information okay
21:02
are they hot were they hot
21:06
no oh oh i guess that's how come they had to be funny
21:14
dead and ugly that's gonna be my tombstone
21:19
inscription
21:20
but in brown hair
21:22
not a woman
21:28
was he
21:34
shorter than 5'10
21:37
yes he is shorter than 5'10
21:40
oh I think I know who it is
21:41
I don't know his name
21:43
we could talk amongst ourselves
21:47
okay
21:48
have you seen
21:49
the hit film
21:50
nine months
21:50
with Hugh Grant
21:51
Hugh Grant is alive
21:54
it's not Hugh Grant
21:55
no I haven't
21:56
the one with Julianne Moore
21:57
yes
21:57
god I love Julianne Moore
21:58
do you love her
21:59
I used to hate her
22:01
I like her now
22:02
whoa
22:02
I know
22:03
okay
22:04
well as long as you're on board
22:05
yeah
22:06
I tweeted her once
22:07
but a lot of stuff
22:08
was going on politically
22:08
and she ignored me
22:10
that's probably the only reason
22:11
yeah
22:12
um he was in that movie what else was he in oh um brown hair brown hair
22:21
no i just don't know his name um okay it's fine well he said he wasn't hot i was thinking maybe
22:27
john ritter but john ritter is attractive if you're thinking of robin williams who's in the
22:35
movie nine months yes robin williams already i wasn't thinking no it's the guy with the glasses
22:39
the guy who beats up the Barney lookalike
22:41
death smoochie
22:44
Tom Arnold
22:45
wait is Tom
22:46
I apologize to Tom Arnold
22:49
I know you're a listener
22:50
I am sorry
22:53
you're not dead
22:54
oh that's not who I meant then
22:57
he's one of our biggest supporters
22:59
Tom I'm sorry Francis didn't mean it
23:01
into the future estate of Tom Arnold
23:03
I apologize and I think he's attractive too
23:06
and thank you for leaving us all your money
23:07
of course
23:09
I think everyone's hot actually
23:11
so this is tough for me
23:12
wasn't it you that asked the question?
23:19
you asked a question that doesn't
23:21
narrow it down at all
23:23
I say
23:26
let's wrap this up
23:28
let's get three more questions and then we each have a guest
23:30
okay but now I'm feeling really inadequate
23:32
with my questions
23:33
they're an actor, a comedic
23:38
actor he died in the 21st century no i not a comedic actor you said was he is he funny and i
23:44
said yes oh i'd like to clarify the nuance we're not this the nuance of the seance is he a dramatic
23:53
actor yes did he die after the age of 50 yes
24:00
we always lose the old ones
24:06
I know
24:08
they died so old
24:10
he was too old
24:13
too old to die
24:15
was it Sean Connery
24:18
ooh
24:19
so it wasn't Sean Connery
24:22
it wasn't anyone else we guessed
24:23
wasn't known for being hot
24:27
he was funny
24:28
I almost just said Ted Danson.
24:30
He's alive right now.
24:31
I know.
24:31
I'm so sorry.
24:32
Ted, I know you're listening, and I apologize.
24:34
I didn't mean it.
24:35
I just thought of a...
24:36
But you were also a comedic actor, so that was just stupid on multiple levels by me.
24:40
Francis, make a slap noise.
24:44
Do better.
24:47
Sugar crush.
24:48
Okay, so let's each make a guess, and then whoever's closer gets the point.
24:53
However Joe defines closer.
24:55
I will say Sean Connery is a closer guest than any of your prior guesses.
25:00
Okay.
25:01
I can't picture anyone ever dying.
25:03
See, what's funny is in real life, not in seance when I'm on the spot,
25:09
I assume everyone's dead.
25:11
I'm like, didn't they die?
25:13
But now it's like, no, they're all alive.
25:15
I can't remember anyone dying.
25:17
I know who it is.
25:20
What is James Gandolfini?
25:21
that oh that's his get okay i'm not gonna say i want to show you guys uh
25:28
tony sirico it's tony sir
25:32
oh
25:33
james gandalfini is six feet tall oh two inches walnuts oh my god rest in peace wow yeah oh my
25:43
god wow oh my god and ghost of toes because the does italian oh full circle that was fun for us
25:50
I have a feeling not a great listen.
25:54
Whatever.
25:55
As long as Tom and Ted are still listening, which I know they are.
25:59
Tom Arnold, Ted Danson, thank you for listening to Seance.
26:05
All right, let's move on to the main event.
26:08
The big question.
26:11
The question is very big.
26:16
Oh, the question.
26:17
I have it for you.
26:18
Sorry.
26:18
Francis, do you have a big question for me?
26:20
Huge question.
26:21
All right, I'm ready.
26:22
Yeah.
26:24
The question is, let's say you have a genie, and the genie can grant you wishes.
26:29
Okay.
26:29
Now, no loopholes, okay?
26:32
You can't wish for a million wishes or anything like that.
26:33
Right, and once you hear the catch, you can't wish to undo it.
26:35
Nothing like that.
26:36
Okay.
26:37
If every time you made a wish, you lost a quarter of an inch off all of your fingers, including the thumbs, how many wishes would you make?
26:48
A quarter of an inch.
26:50
Including your thumbs.
26:52
Yeah, it's not good.
26:54
I mean, I would only get four.
26:59
I would probably get six wishes max without losing a thumb completely.
27:04
But then also, who wants that last quarter inch of thumb?
27:09
Someone who doesn't have it.
27:12
Well, no, I mean, I think I'd rather be completely thumbless than have a thumb.
27:15
I am on that way, too.
27:16
It's all or nothing with me.
27:17
Okay.
27:18
Okay, so not like lose a finger for every wish.
27:22
They just keep getting smaller.
27:23
All of your fingers get shorter.
27:25
Yeah.
27:26
Turning your arms into bats.
27:28
How much time do I have to make?
27:33
Yes.
27:35
What was the question?
27:37
Sorry.
27:38
Turning your arms into bats.
27:40
So, close to toes.
27:45
How much time do I have to make the wishes like is it throughout my whole life yeah yeah it not like I don have to come up it not like I out of work okay so I can really think about the wishes
27:54
yeah rub the lamp I'm gonna come back later
27:56
okay
27:56
but no loopholes
27:57
what do you mean by a loophole now
27:59
like
28:00
like you can't get out of the finger thing
28:01
oh okay
28:01
so no matter what that's happening
28:03
once you say
28:04
Jeannie I officially declare a wish
28:06
you don't even have to say it like that
28:07
but yeah
28:08
okay
28:08
well I don't want to accidentally activate a wish
28:10
but use his name
28:10
Gordon
28:12
stop calling me genie i'm using an official wish right now i don't want to accidentally activate a
28:19
wish um because then i'm what if like i'm like god i wish this restaurant had jalapeno poppers
28:27
and then it's like well quarter of my fingers or quarter inch my fingers is gone um not a bad wish
28:32
i honestly don't even know why i said that i've never had all we should get those you've never
28:36
had them never had a jalapeno popper close the laptop genie i wish for jalapeno poppers
28:41
What happened to your hands?
28:43
Oh, Gordon, no, that wasn't a real wish.
28:46
Ghost of fingers.
28:49
And it wouldn't be like a situation with needful things like that.
28:58
Or like the Rick and Morty episode when Satan has the shop that he'll sell you anything.
29:05
but it's like oh yeah you can speak any language but you live in a box for the rest of your life
29:14
no no you're not getting bedazzled here you're these are nice yes clean wishes they just come
29:19
at a very high cost okay so it's not there's i don't have to like properly phrase it just so
29:25
to avoid any kind of like trickery so i could just like truly think about what do i really wish for
29:31
how many wishes would I make.
29:34
I'm worried that once I made one wish and it came true,
29:37
I'd become addicted to wishes.
29:39
Oh, yeah, until you try tying your shoes.
29:43
Velcro, baby.
29:45
Yeah, until your husband asks you to pinch something and you can't.
29:48
Damn, that happens all the time.
29:52
Well, I guess you'd still...
29:52
I didn't clarify.
29:54
Maybe I should say your fingers are getting shorter.
29:55
You're not losing...
29:56
Like, you still have tips of your fingers.
29:58
You're not losing functionality.
29:59
So it's like cutting from the middle.
30:01
Your hands are almost getting smaller.
30:02
They're getting smaller.
30:03
Yeah, cutting from the middle.
30:03
I like that.
30:05
Yeah.
30:06
So your palms stay the same size?
30:08
Yeah, it's just like little tiny finger kidnappers.
30:11
Okay.
30:15
I'd probably make two, maybe three at the most.
30:24
Your hands would be so cute.
30:28
I had three wishes.
30:29
oh my god teddy fingers
30:32
I would want your hands in every picture
30:35
oh Dan would want it too
30:39
I don't know what that means
30:42
you know the optics
30:44
okay so
30:48
alright
30:49
this episode
30:59
brought to you by
31:01
who's sponsoring us?
31:04
Halliburton.
31:06
Marie Callender's, the restaurant.
31:09
Who's in the mood for pie?
31:11
Marie Callender's.
31:13
Rocco's real world or whatever.
31:15
Rocco's modern life.
31:16
Rocco's modern life.
31:18
Rocco's real world?
31:21
Oh, what if Rocco was on the real world?
31:24
That MTV TV show.
31:26
I think as
31:27
as far as like characters go who are animated
31:30
he actually has some riz
31:32
Rocco like I think Rocco's like
31:37
he'd do okay
31:38
he could ask me out on a cartoon date
31:40
I also like like
31:42
the idea of him just like
31:44
losing his shit because there's one
31:47
housemate that like won't do dishes
31:49
or something like
31:50
like you know like
31:52
because in the real world they would just like
31:55
they'd all like hate each other
31:56
I was thinking of the cartoon.
31:57
I'm like, I don't remember that episode.
31:58
I know.
31:58
Yeah.
31:59
No, like in the real world house.
32:01
Yeah.
32:01
And he's actually like a bro.
32:03
And I don't like him anymore.
32:05
Yeah.
32:05
He goes on the challenge.
32:07
Well, the audience probably doesn't know this about me.
32:08
I'm a total softy lover boy.
32:13
Yep.
32:14
Not into games.
32:18
Finds everyone attractive.
32:19
Everyone's hot and alive to me.
32:23
Tiny fingers are your thing.
32:24
come as you are okay so that's my answer i'd probably i don't know three wishes unless i
32:33
got addicted to the wishes well just make sure one of them is someone to grab things for you
32:39
yeah that would be my last wish yeah my final wish all right how many would you do
32:44
um my hands are small enough one max whoa yeah and when i say small i mean huge
32:52
but yeah i think i could do one one wish and i would probably just be like give me a lot of money
32:58
give me so much money it doesn't matter my hands look weird now
33:01
okay so by which you you mean that doesn't matter that my hands look weird now
33:09
so like you could just pay people to be your friend yeah yeah i think i would put a number
33:15
on it i think i would say i want a hundred billion dollars after taxes like the genies
33:22
the government still gets their cut it comes with a letter from the irs that says we don't want
33:27
anything we like this for you this is actually a gift and not in the traditional sense where you
33:37
know something no no uh uncle sam missed all those birthdays all right so just yeah i feel
33:44
with a lot of money you could make anything happen so you can make anything happen with a lot of
33:49
money yeah this episode's brought to you by money give us some uh oh all right i think that's uh
33:59
that answers the big question of the week i'd at most do three maybe two you do one yeah because
34:08
you want to keep your hands i'm not greedy i just want 100 i just want all the money in all the world
34:13
the big question all right folks well uh let us know what you'd do if you had a genie that cut a
34:21
quarter inch of your fingers off we want to hear from you you know what really sucks about this
34:25
huh everyone has different size hands so some people can get away with like a piano player
34:29
could be like i don't care 10 because they have super long fingers well then they wouldn't be
34:34
able to play the piano anymore a small price to pay yeah but also your fingers are all different
34:41
sizes too so at some point you're gonna run out of at some point it's just like well i only have
34:46
the middle finger left anyway like i'll just keep going in this world hey oh nobody drive near
34:53
francis you can see a stubby middle finger speaking of that i mentioned to my therapist
34:59
that i had road rage one time yeah and every time after that she asked about my road rage i'm like
35:04
it was supposed to be something we laughed at yeah like it wasn't real it was just like focused
35:09
on the word rage.
35:10
Yeah.
35:11
And I came in,
35:11
she's like,
35:12
any other red rage incidents?
35:13
I'm like,
35:13
no.
35:15
There's about to be office rage
35:17
right now.
35:18
You didn't laugh.
35:20
All right.
35:21
Well,
35:22
we have to get to one last thing.
35:24
Okay.
35:25
Our secret words.
35:27
We both guessed.
35:28
We both were wrong.
35:30
Did you get your secret word out?
35:32
I did.
35:33
I did too.
35:34
You did?
35:34
I did.
35:35
Oh,
35:36
damn.
35:37
And you were close
35:38
when you guessed.
35:38
You were close to my word when you guessed.
35:41
Because you guessed the word was craft.
35:44
And it wasn't.
35:46
It was honed.
35:48
I said you've really honed.
35:51
Damn.
35:52
Yeah.
35:53
Wow.
35:54
I'm a loser.
35:55
No, you were close.
35:56
I think closer than me.
35:58
What was your word?
36:00
Kidnappers.
36:01
I didn't know how I was going to get it in there.
36:04
I forgot what you said.
36:05
Oh, really?
36:06
I remember you said, just imagine little kidnappers taking a quarter.
36:21
What does it say about, Francis, what does it say about you that that didn't raise any
36:27
reflex at all?
36:28
Yeah, this is how Francis speaks.
36:30
I like to think I'm just a really cool customer.
36:33
Yeah.
36:36
Well, okay.
36:37
Well, you've kidnapped my heart.
36:39
And I'm never giving it back.
36:42
All right, folks.
36:43
Thanks for listening.
36:45
We'll see you next week.
36:47
Friends like us.
36:49
We love you.
36:50
Bye.