Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #251 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#251 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now I say it all the time, kids spell love t.
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  Speaker 1: I am And now here's the stars of our show,
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  Speaker 1: my mum and dad.
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  Speaker 2: Hey can I tell you Joe?
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  Speaker 3: Shoot?
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  Speaker 2: Knock?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Hey, no knock jokes?
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  Speaker 5: Don't you who's there? I've done it, I've done up.
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  Speaker 5: Who isn't that a good jokes?
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  Speaker 3: So bad?
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  Speaker 2: It's such such a show.
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  Speaker 3: So juvenile for the kids love it, don't they can?
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  Speaker 4: I This is doctor Justin Coilson on the author of
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  Speaker 4: six books about how to make families happy. Pooh jokes.
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  Speaker 4: Pooh jokes make families happy. Not mums, but everybody else.
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  Speaker 4: And I'm the founder of Happy Families dot com dot
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  Speaker 4: I you who are you? Who am I?
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  Speaker 2: Well, no, I know who you are, but tell everybody
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  Speaker 2: who you are.
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  Speaker 3: I'm Kylie.
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  Speaker 5: You call me missus Happy Families from time to time.
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  Speaker 5: I don't know how happy I am all the time.
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  Speaker 5: And I'm the mum to our six daughters.
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  Speaker 4: Today is I'll do better tomorrow if you knew to
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  Speaker 4: the podcast. Every Friday we talk about things that we've
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  Speaker 4: learned so that we can parent with better intention tomorrow
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  Speaker 4: so that we can be better parents. I don't know, tomorrow,
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  Speaker 4: next week, next time we get the opportunity to be parents.
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  Speaker 3: In five minutes.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, as soon as the podcast's over and we are
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  Speaker 4: back with the kids again. Do you want to go
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  Speaker 4: first today or you're on me too?
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  Speaker 5: Oh? Look, I have to share a little thing that
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  Speaker 5: happened last weekend. Yeah, Saturday morning is our family clean up.
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  Speaker 3: We spend some time cleaning up and.
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  Speaker 2: At the moment, don't the kids love it?
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  Speaker 3: By the way, yeah, that's a whole nother story.
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  Speaker 5: But anyway, we've had a lot of rain lately where
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  Speaker 5: we live, and our garden is overgrown with weeds, and
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  Speaker 5: so the last few weekends in particular, we've spent some
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  Speaker 5: time out in the garden. Miss seven burst into our
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  Speaker 5: bedroom at six am. I wasn't even oh I probably
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  Speaker 5: was awake, only just, but I was still on my bed,
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  Speaker 5: and she.
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  Speaker 6: Said, Mummy, mommy, have I missed weeding?
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  Speaker 2: It's like, no, not at six o'clock in the morning.
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  Speaker 5: Yea, And she said, oh, few, that's my favorite.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 3: At least one of us likes weeding.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we love to get into the garden. And weed.
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  Speaker 4: I think I'm going to have to buy some spray.
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  Speaker 4: I know that's bad for the environment, bad for everything,
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  Speaker 4: but I'm sick of spending my Saturday mornings weeding we had.
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to go with older better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: First, I had just another reminder of how sometimes just
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  Speaker 4: getting out one on one with the kids is hugely,
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  Speaker 4: hugely important. So one of the kids had a birthday
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  Speaker 4: just the other day. She turned eleven, very excited that
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  Speaker 4: she's not a teenager and not a teenager anymore, but
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  Speaker 4: she was having a kind of a so so day.
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  Speaker 2: I had stacks on.
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  Speaker 4: As much as I wanted to be fully available for
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  Speaker 4: her her, it just wasn't going to happen.
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  Speaker 2: You were flooded.
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  Speaker 4: With more to do than was possible. And it's one
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  Speaker 4: of those things, right, this is the reality of life.
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  Speaker 4: We're supposed to be available and attentive to our children.
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  Speaker 4: We're supposed to well you and I I'm like, you know,
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  Speaker 4: I'm the expert. We're supposed to absolutely get this right.
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  Speaker 4: And it just was working out for her. So she
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  Speaker 4: came to me miserable, and I was so grateful that
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  Speaker 4: she did and that she could put her arms around
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  Speaker 4: me and explain what was going on. And I said, okay,
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  Speaker 4: well after dinner, what about if I take you out?
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  Speaker 4: So he jumped in the car. I said, where do
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  Speaker 4: you want to go? She said, let's go get some
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  Speaker 4: ice cream. I said, okay, ice cream it is. We
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  Speaker 4: went to Cold Rock ice Creamery. And because I'm a
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  Speaker 4: bit stingy, I really don't like going to these ice
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  Speaker 4: cream shops where you kind of pay about eight bucks
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  Speaker 4: for a scoop of ice cream.
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  Speaker 2: Even if you.
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  Speaker 3: Can get a leader of ice cream.
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  Speaker 4: For that, that's right, you can too, of the high
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  Speaker 4: quality stuff. You can go and get the very best
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  Speaker 4: ice cream for about eight dollars for a Leader. And
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  Speaker 4: here I am getting a scoop with a few mix ins,
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  Speaker 4: and so we've walked in.
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  Speaker 2: I ordered, actually, let me tell you.
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  Speaker 4: I ordered lemon sawbet with a raphae yellow white chocolate
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  Speaker 4: mixed into it and some passion fruit.
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  Speaker 2: It was amazing.
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  Speaker 3: She ordered this sounds like all of your favorite things,
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  Speaker 3: Yes into it a little car.
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  Speaker 2: I was in heaven. Anyway.
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  Speaker 4: She ordered this bubblegum ice cream with all the sour
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  Speaker 4: and herds and all that sort of stuff. She asked
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  Speaker 4: so she could try mine. I'm like, ah, it's lemon sawbet,
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  Speaker 4: She's not gonna like that. She had one bite and
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  Speaker 4: her eyes looked up and she's like, oh, can I
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  Speaker 4: have yours? No, So I had to share my ice
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  Speaker 4: cream with her. I gave her about half of my
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  Speaker 4: lemon saw babes her birthday.
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  Speaker 2: It was her birthday.
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  Speaker 3: I'm guessing you didn't eat the rainbow and nerds.
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  Speaker 1: No.
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  Speaker 2: Then I ate half of hers.
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  Speaker 4: But what was so cool about it is there was
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  Speaker 4: just this beautiful genuineness. There was this sharing, and it
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  Speaker 4: reminded me again of love these kids so much. And
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  Speaker 4: it reminded me again of why it's so important that
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  Speaker 4: we had that one on one time. I say it
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  Speaker 4: all the time, kids spelled love t im e dollars
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  Speaker 4: of the currency of our economy. Connection is the currency
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  Speaker 4: of our relationships. I walked out of her and thought,
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  Speaker 4: I really hated spending. I think it was seventeen bucks
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  Speaker 4: for two ice creams, Like I.
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  Speaker 2: Just killed me. I was like, no, who does this?
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  Speaker 4: And yet I reckon if it cost me seventeen b
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  Speaker 4: a week to have an experience like that once a
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  Speaker 4: week with each of the kids, I'd do it. I'd
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  Speaker 4: have to work out a lot harder in the gym
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  Speaker 4: to get over it, but I would do it. That's
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  Speaker 4: such a small price to pay for such beautiful connection.
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  Speaker 4: Don't need to have ice cream to make the connection,
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  Speaker 4: but just a really beautiful experience made me grateful for
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  Speaker 4: the kids, made me grateful to be a parent, and
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  Speaker 4: I thought, yeap. Next week, I've got to make sure
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  Speaker 4: that I do this with one of the other kids
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  Speaker 4: as well.
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  Speaker 2: It's special.
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  Speaker 5: Maybe this time you might go and do something active
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  Speaker 5: instead of scoffing down some ice cream.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe we can do both. Let's find out about your
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  Speaker 2: I'll do better Tomorrow.
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  Speaker 1: Next, it's the Happy Famili's podcast for a happier family.
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  Speaker 5: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't
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  Speaker 5: just happen.
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  Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au.
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  Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time
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  Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we
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  Speaker 5: are talking about reflections on our week.
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  Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: How can we be better parents and learn from what's
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  Speaker 4: happened this week so that we can do more of
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  Speaker 4: the good st or less of the bad stuff. I've
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  Speaker 4: shared mine, what's yours?
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  Speaker 5: Look, it's no secret I am one of those parents
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  Speaker 5: who often will just do everything myself because it's just easier.
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  Speaker 5: I don't have to go back and repeat what the
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  Speaker 5: kids have done because they haven't done a.
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  Speaker 6: Good enough job right. And then I'm left feeling.
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  Speaker 5: Frustrated because there's not enough hours in the day to
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  Speaker 5: do it all, not even close. And so the other
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  Speaker 5: day I was feeling a little bit swamped. It was
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  Speaker 5: during school holidays, and there was a lot to do.
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  Speaker 5: There's a lot of bodies in the house, and so
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  Speaker 5: the house was just not up to scratch. But I
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  Speaker 5: had an appointment that I had to go to, which
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  Speaker 5: meant that the kids, if I left them to their
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  Speaker 5: own devices, would literally be on devices. And so I
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  Speaker 5: said to them, girls, today is a bit of a
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  Speaker 5: cleaning up day, and unfortunately I have an appointment to
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  Speaker 5: go to. But I've written a list of all the
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  Speaker 5: things that need to be done, and I would just
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  Speaker 5: love it if while I'm gone, you work on that list.
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  Speaker 5: So I didn't hand out any assignments. There was just
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  Speaker 5: a list to be done. I was actually really blown
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  Speaker 5: away I came home. Not only was their absolute peace
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  Speaker 5: in the house. I couldn't believe they were all engaged
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  Speaker 5: in doing a job.
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  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 3: Wow, they were all engaged.
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  Speaker 5: And when I asked our seven year old whether or
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  Speaker 5: not she'd been helpful, fully expecting that she would have
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  Speaker 5: just done her own thing, gone off and played in
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  Speaker 5: the garden, she said, no, I've been helping Annie. So
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  Speaker 5: Annie had been taking her around and actually helping her
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  Speaker 5: do jobs as part of the process.
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  Speaker 3: My list had gone.
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  Speaker 5: They'd probably done about a third of the things off
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  Speaker 5: the list, and I was just really proud of them.
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  Speaker 4: So what's the take home message? Go out more and
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  Speaker 4: leave the kids in charge? Is that what you're saying,
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  Speaker 4: because that's a bit.
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  Speaker 2: Of a one off. I don't remember that happening before.
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  Speaker 5: No, it doesn't happen very often at all. What it
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  Speaker 5: allowed me to reflect on is the fact that if
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  Speaker 5: we don't give our children opportunities to surprise us, they
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  Speaker 5: never will.
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  Speaker 2: Ah beautiful.
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  Speaker 4: And the other thing that I take from that is
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  Speaker 4: that it does get easier for any parents who are
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  Speaker 4: li and your parents have little kids and you're thinking,
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  Speaker 4: oh my goodness, this is just driving me in, say
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  Speaker 4: one of the kids to do anything. They actually start
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  Speaker 4: to when you give them those opportunities, particularly as they
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  Speaker 4: get older. We really hope that you've enjoyed the Happy
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Families podcast. Before we wrap things up, a really important reminder.
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  Speaker 4: This Sunday is Anzac Day, and it's a day that
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  Speaker 4: matters because we get to remember the sacrifice of those
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  Speaker 4: who have given their lives or given their lives in service,
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  Speaker 4: even if they haven't died from their service, so that
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  Speaker 4: we can live in the free, safe, prosperous country that
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  Speaker 4: we enjoy.
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  Speaker 6: You know, as I've got an older, Anzac Day has
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  Speaker 6: become more meaningful as I've come to understand the sacrifice
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  Speaker 6: that these men and women gave so that we could
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  Speaker 6: have the freedoms that we experience.
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  Speaker 3: And it never hit.
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  Speaker 5: Me as hard as it did the year I lost
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  Speaker 5: my grandfather. My grandfather was actually captured by the Japanese
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  Speaker 5: and was in self isolation for three years during World
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  Speaker 5: War Two, and as a result, he was left a
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  Speaker 5: really wounded person. He never talked about the war Outside
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  Speaker 5: of that, I don't know much about his experiences, but
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  Speaker 5: I remembered going to that first Anzac parade following his
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  Speaker 5: passing and just being so overwhelmed at all that he
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  Speaker 5: had lost and as a result, I had lost, as
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  Speaker 5: his granddaughter and not really knowing who he really was
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  Speaker 5: because he just retreated into himself. And so Anzac has
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  Speaker 5: become a really important part of my family story as
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  Speaker 5: each year I reflect on the sacrifice that he gave specifically,
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  Speaker 5: but I guess across the board.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, and when you look at that sacrifice and the
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  Speaker 4: cost that it took his life, but also your parents
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  Speaker 4: and now you the way that those relationships have been affected,
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  Speaker 4: and then you multiply that across every family, every individual
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  Speaker 4: that's been affected by these terrible wars, it gives you
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  Speaker 4: some sense of just how incalculable the cost of war is.
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  Speaker 4: My favorite Anzac Day ever was twenty twenty during the
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  Speaker 4: COVID lockdown. We walked to the botto of our driveway
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  Speaker 4: with lit the candle. We listened to the last posts
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  Speaker 4: as we watched up and down the street, other families
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  Speaker 4: doing the same as the sun came up.
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  Speaker 2: It was a really I would call it a sacred experience.
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  Speaker 4: So we hope that this weekend you and your family
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  Speaker 4: have the opportunity to remember them, lest we forget. The
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  Speaker 4: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
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  Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: If you'd like more information about how you can make
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: your family happier, you can find it at happy families
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: dot com dot au