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Men's List Unveiled: 100 Qualities Men Actually Want in a Woman Partner · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Detail. Welcome to the Diva Detail,
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where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention,
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we keep it raw, real, and powerful. No filters,
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no limits, just fearless conversations to help
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you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia.
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Well, hello, this is Diva Mia, and today we are back going over
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the qualities that men are looking for in a woman.
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So this is turning the table and looking at what men want from women.
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This conversation matters because dating advice often reduces men to
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a handful of stereotypes. We are told that men only care about
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beauty, youth, sex, and whether a woman makes their life easy,
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how much you can serve them. Physical attraction matters, of course,
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but that explanation is incomplete. Men are looking for honesty,
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loyalty, affection, respect, emotional stability, friendship,
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appreciation, compatibility, and peace within the relationship
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as well. And those are higher priorities than you would expect. Just like
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women's lists, these 100 qualities are not mandatory requirements.
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They include core relationship needs, deal breakers, strong preferences,
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and bonuses. No woman should feel that she must transform
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herself into a flawless dating product to deserve love, but the goal is self-awareness,
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not performance. As we examine what men want, we also
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need to confront an uncomfortable question. Are we expecting qualities from
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a partner that we are not consistently offering ourselves? I always
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say, if I want honesty from them, I have to be honest as well.
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If I want loyalty from someone, they— I have to be loyal to them as
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well. It's kind of the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have
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done unto you. If you want affection,
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are you affectionate to them? If you expect emotional maturity, are you
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emotionally mature? Can you manage your emotions without punishing your
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partner? If you want someone financially responsible, are you responsible
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with your money in your own life? Men and women want far more of the
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same things than dating culture actually admits. And that was
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one of the surprising things for me. I was shocked by the list of what
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women wanted in men and what men wanted in women, because it's not
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what they advertise. It's not what the Instagram says you have to be.
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It's not what the social media tells people they need to be. Both want to
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feel desired, respected, safe, appreciated, and chosen.
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The difference often involves how these needs are expressed and prioritized though.
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So let's break down what men commonly want from women, which expectations
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are reasonable, and which are personal preferences. And then we're going
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to go over standards that may be keeping people single for reasons they have never
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honestly actually examined in themselves. And first, I'm going to do what I
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did last time. I'm going to go over the top 5 things that men are
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looking for and see where that rates against a woman. All right. Number 1
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for a man, They want a woman to be honest.
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You know, honest is number 1 for a man. It's number 1 for a woman.
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They want a woman to be loyal and loyalty is number 2.
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So men and women both want honesty and loyalty. That again,
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it tells me something's wrong out in the dating world. If you know, that should
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be a given, but you know, it's the core relationship. So it is a non-negotiable,
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but yeah, it's up there. Trustworthiness is number 3. So can you trust
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the woman? When she's out and about. Trustworthy is number 3. For a
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man, number 4 is kindness.
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And number 5 is respect is number 4. So there you go.
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There are the things that men want, the top 5. I wanted to cover
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those again because the reality is, is the top 5 matters a great deal.
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And you don't actually realize that, you know, we have very
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similar things that men want and women want. So let's go over the
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core requirements that men want. These are the ones that if a woman doesn't have
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it, ladies, that a lot of men will walk away. Now, every man is different
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and every woman is different, but if a woman doesn't have it, a lot of
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men aren't interested in a long— these are long-term relationships. Okay? So number 1 is
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honesty. Number 2 is loyalty. We covered that. Number 3 is trustworthiness.
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Number 4 is kindness. They want you to be kind. Number 5
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is respect. Now men require respect. I was shocked that women require respect at
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a higher level than men, but respect is number 5. Men like to be respected.
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Don't disrespect your partner. Ever. Both sides, I think respect needs
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to be earned, but at the same time, we need to respect each other better.
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Number 6 is emotional stability. They want emotional stability as core
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relationships. Number 7 is genuine affection, and it has to be genuine.
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It can't be faked. Number 8 is clear communication. Can you talk to your
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partner when something's bothering you? Do you talk to them? Number 9 is reciprocal interests.
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Are you interested in some of the same things? They're looking for also
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a friend because I think men don't have typically as many friends as women.
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So reciprocal interest is important. Number 10 is romantic and sexual
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attraction. Number 11 is reliability. Are you
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reliable? When they show up to pick you up for a date,
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are you ready to go? Number 12 is compatible core values.
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Do you have honesty? Do you have integrity? Do you have high morals
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or whatever morals levels they're at? Number 13 is emotional availability,
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or are you still wrapped up on an ex? Are you still pondering
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if you really want to date. Number 14, personal accountability.
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Do you hold yourself accountable? And when you mess up, do you actually
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own it? Number 15, healthy conflict resolution.
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Healthy conflict resolution was in the top for both sides.
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Realize a lot of the top 15 core relationship values were the
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same for men and women. We're not that different. We're not that different at all.
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But again, you need to come up with your list of at least 10 core
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relationship requirements that, you know, if it happens, you walk away
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before, you know, you get disrespected or you walk away before they
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start lying to you. Because honesty and loyalty, if they're not an honest person or
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a loyal person, you may— it's just not a good. Now let's go over the
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deal breakers. Number 16 is chronic dishonesty. So if the woman's chronically
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lying to a man, he walks away. 17 is infidelity
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or hidden sexual behaviors. So if you're cheating on your partner
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or hiding things from them, they're gonna walk away. That's number 17.
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It was 16, I believe, for women, but 17 for men. Contempt. If you're showing
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contempt, rolling your eyes, disgusted by your partner, making fun of
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them, those things are disrespectful, but it also shows a sign of contempt. That's number
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18. Number 19 is manipulation. Don't manipulate people.
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Just don't do it. Number 20, and these are deal breakers, so a man
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may walk away for any of these. Number 20 is physical or emotional
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abuse. I didn't realize this was a problem, but I guess there's physical or emotional
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abuse from I can see the emotional a little bit, but the physical, some women
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hit their partners. You shouldn't be laying your hands in a violent way on anyone.
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Number 21 is uncontrolled addiction. If you have an alcohol or
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substance abuse problem, that's number 21 for men.
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Constant chaos and manufactured drama. Now ladies, I know sometimes
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your hormones are all over the place, but number 22 is constant chaos and
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manufactured drama. 23 is financial exploitation. Are you
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trying to rip the guy off? Now it's funny because sometimes men are trying to
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rip women off these days. Excessive jealousy. Are you always
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jealous of everyone he talks to? Are you over the top and get
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angry when he just has a basic conversation with someone?
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Number 25 is controlling behavior. Are you controlling of his
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every move? Do you not let him go anywhere without telling you? Do you control
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everything about him? Number 26, an unresolved attachment to
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an ex. Are you still talking to your ex-husband or your ex-partner?
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That's a problem. So an unresolved attachment to an ex. Number 27,
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refusal to communicate. If you go into a quiet
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place. And I have been guilty of this where you're, you just, you want
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to isolate before you come back and communicate, but you've got to actually communicate.
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Don't refuse to communicate completely or give them the silent treatment. Number 28
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is the chronic victim mentality. Ladies, don't have a chronic
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victim mentality. You're not a victim. Okay. Talk things
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out. Number 29 is cruelty towards others. That's a non-negotiable
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for a lot of men. Number 30 is public or private disrespect.
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So respect was up there, but they just don't even want to be disrespected
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at home. Do you you blame them? I wouldn't want to be disrespected at home.
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Number 30 is public or private disrespect. Number 31 is incompatible
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definitions of monogamy. Again, what is your definition of monogamy? Does it mean that you're
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just with one person or does it mean that you are DMing people
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online? I mean, that's not monogamy in a lot of people's
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eyes. Most people see that as emotional cheating. Number 32, sexual coercion
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or manipulation. So men don't like to be pressured
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into sex. They don't like coercion as well. Although it's way down the
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list for men, it is a non-negotiable. Number 33, chronic irresponsibility.
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If you won't take responsibility for the stuff that you're doing, that's number
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33, a man may walk away. Number 34, almost done, concealing major
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life circumstances. So if something happened and you've been lying about
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it and not telling your partner or your boyfriend or your husband, that's a reason
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a man will walk away. Or maybe you spent a bunch of money on the
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credit card and you didn't let them know, and they are the ones
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paying the bills, and that can happen as well. So that's concealing major life
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circumstances. Number 35, fundamental incompatible life
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goals. So that's number 35 for a man as well. So that was big for
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men and women. I think men and women, they want to align and compatible life
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goals allows for alignment. Now I'm going to go through 36
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through 80. Okay. Now some of these you're going to notice are different. These are
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strong preferences for men. In a woman. And I was actually
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a little shocked by a couple of these because I didn't know men were actually
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looking for that in a woman. But it's interesting that
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women are looking for some of the same things. I'm just going to say number
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36 is intelligence. Men want intelligence over physical
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fitness because number 36 is intelligence. So they want an intelligent woman.
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Basically, they want somebody they can communicate with and have good conversations.
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And they need a woman that's intelligent to do so. They don't want the ditzy
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blonde that, you know, was Hollywood tries to portray as the Barbie
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dolls that every guy wants. Intelligence is number 36. Now I'm going to go
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through these quickly because we've got several of them. You should have probably 15 of
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these on your list of, if you're a guy, on your list of things that
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are preferences. Go ahead and write those down now if you're not driving. Number 36
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is intelligence. 37 is sense of humor. Guys like it when you laugh at their
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jokes, ladies, and make your own jokes. 38 is confidence.
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39, warmth. 40, Empathy. That doesn't surprise
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me. 41, healthy lifestyle. 42, good grooming.
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Do you put yourself together before you go out? Number 43 is physical fitness.
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So it was way down the list. 44, facial attraction.
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Is your face pretty? 45, sexual compatibility.
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So it's 45. It's not even in the non-negotiables. I think
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it should be higher, but it's 45. 46, enthusiasm for life.
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47 is personal independence. 48 is financial
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responsibility. Are you responsible with your money? 49 is ambition
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or purpose. 50 is curiosity. Men actually like
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women that are very curious. Number 51 is playfulness. That wasn't even on the women's
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list. Number 52 is supportiveness. Men want to be supported,
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ladies. 53, expressive appreciation.
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Are you expressing that you appreciate them when they do something nice for you?
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Number 54, compatible need for affection.
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Okay. So basically, are you holding hands when they want to hold
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hands? Are you snuggling? Are you giving hugs, giving kisses? Those are compatible
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needs for affection. Number 55, genuine friendship. Do you like being around
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the person? 56 is patience. 57,
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resilience. Can you get back up when you get knocked down? 58,
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adaptability. 59,
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generosity. Are you generous to people? 60 is social
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confidence. Are you confident in who you are? 61, compatible with
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each other's families. 62, compatible parenting
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values. 63, similar social preferences.
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Maybe they like to go to bars. They want you to go to the bars
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as well. 64, compatible spiritual or religious beliefs.
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65, compatible political values. 66,
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similar daily habits. 67, similar standards
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of cleanliness. 68, punctuality.
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69, time available for the relationship. Men want you to have
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time as well, ladies. 70, healthy personal boundaries. Men like it
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when you have boundaries, not as high as women like having their boundaries, but they
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want you to have some boundaries. 71, direct communication.
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So when they ask you a question, are you direct or do you manipulate?
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72, listening skills. 73, ability to manage stress.
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74, celebrating his accomplishments. Men like to be appreciated
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and approved of. So celebrate his accomplishments when he does something.
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75, respecting his independence. Give him space when he needs it.
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76, willingness to operate as a team. I think
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men are very big. A lot of this has been geared to finding a partner
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that you can have a good relationship with and rely on each other.
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Men are very much, it looks more like a team player, but willingness to operate
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as a team. 77, practical problem-solving abilities.
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78, commitment to personal growth. I'm going to
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go back to 77. So practical problem-solving abilities. Do you solve
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problems or do you just always go to your man to solve all the problems?
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So I think that's why men like a woman with practical problem-solving
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abilities because they don't want to have to handle everything. 78, commitment to personal
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growth. 79, authenticity. This is why men a lot of
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times say, I don't like to see women in complete makeup all the time.
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They want to see the authentic you. Number 80 is consistent words
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and behavior. Do your words and behaviors match? I mean, a lot of these are
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duplication. I mean, because honestly, consistent words and behavior kind of goes back to honesty
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as well. But these are preferences. And so ladies,
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you thought, you know, you had to have the perfect butt, but that's just a
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preference. That's not a non-negotiable or a core
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relationship requirement because men, at least solid
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men, are gonna care more about who you are as a person in
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order to develop a relationship with you. And the funny thing is, is those core
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requirements up above and the common deal breakers, ladies, you should all
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have these. I don't understand why most people don't have these personally, but nonetheless,
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those are things that you should all have. And men, you should have the things
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on the ladies' top 35 as well. The core requirements and the non-negotiables or
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the deal breakers. If you have the deal breakers, women will walk away.
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But I don't know why more men and women don't focus on improving
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themselves before they go out there and date and make a wreck of a,
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of another person, because you're basically throwing up all your insecurities
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and all your issues onto the other person. All right. So these are the bonuses
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in individual preferences. Number 81 is shared hobbies.
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Shared hobbies is 81. 82 is compatible travel preferences. So guys
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like to travel. 83, enjoyment of cooking.
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84 is personal style. 85 is education.
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86, cultural interests. 87,
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career accomplishments. 88, adventurous. Do you like
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to go out in nature? 89, or try new things? 89 is interest in
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music or dancing. 90, shared interest in sports. 91,
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ability to entertain socially. 92, healthy family
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relationships. 93, community involvement.
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94, creativity. Wow. That's really low on a man's list for a woman.
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95, spontaneity. 96,
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calming presence. 97, romantic initiative.
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98, compatible texting habits.
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99, geographic proximity.
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100, preferred age range. You know what I think is kind of the funniest
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is that women are always concerned about their age, but it's the last
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on a guy's list technically for, and it's a Preference. Men don't really care about
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your age as much as we do, ladies. Just so you know, age is way
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down on the list. Again, everyone has a list of what they want in a
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partner. Some people have 5 requirements. Some people have 50. I actually have a
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list of 70, but I have out of my list of 70, I have about
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40 that are non-negotiables. And I have found in the past that
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I've overridden my non-negotiables when I had a lot of chemistry with someone.
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And don't do that because what you find out is later on, it, it,
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it ruins the relationship anyway. But what qualities actually create
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a successful relationship, which are simply preferences, is which standards
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do we conveniently abandon the minute chemistry enters the room?
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Because if you're abandoning it, it's not a requirement. It's not a non-negotiable.
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Again, men and women aren't as different as we pretend. Our core requirements are
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our core requirements. If someone doesn't have it, it's a no. So I want you
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again, if you're a man, it's time for you to go and build your list,
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your 10 minimum core requirements, your 10 minimum automatic
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deal breakers, and then your 15 strong preferences. Everything else
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is a bonus. So then you're only looking for 35 things in a person,
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which seems like a lot, but it's truly not that many.
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If your current or former partner failed your core requirements, why do you stay in
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a relationship though? Because a long list does not protect you if you abandon
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it the moment someone gives you chemistry, attention, or affection.
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You'd have a list of 200 things on your list if you wanted to,
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but if you're abandoning it, you're abandoning yourself. Standards only become boundaries
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when you're willing to walk away. I hope that helps. I hope that gives you
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an idea because having a strong relationship long-term is
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what I think dating is all about. Now, there are players out there
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that are just manipulating and there's people out there that are
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cheaters, et cetera. But it looks to me like most
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solid men and women are looking for very similar things.
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So if you can get out there, work on yourself and get
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your core competencies down, the things that you value,
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if you value loyalty, if you value honesty, Make sure that's
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in you first and all the other things and trustworthiness, et cetera.
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All the things on your list of core competencies or
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core requirements and your list of non-negotiables you must have in
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yourself. You need a match. And this is talking about what
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do you bring to a table, men, for women? Because women are tired of the
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players. They're tired of the games. They're tired of the manipulation. And we live
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in a society that the morals and values and ethics, they seem to be wavering
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here and there with certain people. So I recommend that if
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you want a long relationship, and if you're looking for those values in someone else,
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make sure you have those values in yourself first. I hope that
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helps. I'm glad we got through the men list as well. I'm going to end
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up posting the lists online so you can actually go through
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and review it. That's going to be on our website. So if you have any
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questions, feel free to reach out or download the list. And I
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hope that you can utilize these lists
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in order to help you figure out exactly what you're looking for in
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life, because I don't think you can actually get what you're looking for until you've
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actually figured out what you're looking for. This is Diva Mia. Hope this helped.
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Have a wonderful day.
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