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Transcript

I'm Louvre-ing It · Stuff Keeps Happening

• 0:00
  Hello. I stepped on a particularly crunchy leaf.
• 0:04
  But stuff still happened. So what's up? I'm louvering
• 0:09
  it. I'm louvering it. I'm louvering it. Last
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  week, right as I had finished up doing the episode
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  of Stuff Keeps Happening, I learned that the
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  heist of the century took place in France. Imagine
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  my distress. Me, not talking about the heist
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  that just happened. Dear listener, when I tell
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  you that it was one of the hardest days of my
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  life, When I made the decision to be patient
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  and wait until this episode, it was not actually
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  all that hard. I just decided to be patient.
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  But this episode, we're gonna dive into what
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  happened at the Louvre. The Louvre. Lou, Lou,
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  Louvre. Fair warning, despite having taken like
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  eight years of French, I never actually developed
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  a capable French accent. I'm going to be saying
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  the Louvre, and it's gonna suck, but I'd rather
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  say that than Louvre, which I don't like that,
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  and I'm just, I'm bad at the guttural R. I don't
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  know, here we go. First up, the Hall. So the
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  Louvre has a bunch of important shit, including
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  like crown jewels from former French royalty.
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  The kind of stuff that you target... on a heist
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  to the Louvre. And that's what they did. They
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  targeted that. They stole eight pieces of the
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  crown jewels of France. Well, they were going
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  for nine, but they dropped one. According to
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  Interpol, they made off with a smattering of
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  earrings, necklaces, tiaras, and a brooch. They
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  would have had a crown if they didn't drop it.
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  That was one that they dropped. Apparently it
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  was damaged when they were taking it out of the
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  display case, and then they dropped it and just
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  moved on. In total, the hall is valued at about
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  88 million euros or a little over a hundred million
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  dollars. Let's talk about the crew. It was four
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  dudes. Four guys, really two guys doing the brunt
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  of the work, but four guys that we're aware of.
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  Two doing the B &E, two doing the getaway, the
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  GOA, the G &A. God, now I want to watch a snatch.
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  It's a good movie. At time of writing, at least
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  one dude is in custody. French authorities claim
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  that they got some suspect who was trying to
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  flee the country. They may have others, but they're
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  being very cautious with actually revealing any
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  information. Best I can tell, there's two people
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  in custody that are suspects. Not like, you know,
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  not like we got them. We don't know. Could be
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  anyone. Could be a fall guy. Could be my plan
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  worked. What? The timeline. There are two sort
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  of distinct moments in this heist, about a week
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  prior to the actual break -in and then the break
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  -in itself. A week prior to showing up at the
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  Louvre, they went to a town also called Louvre
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  and they stole a service utility vehicle. You
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  know, one of those like cherry pickers, like
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  the mechanical lifts on the back of a truck.
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  They basically went to a company and they're
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  like, give us that. We're taking it. So that's
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  part one. Part two. is two of the guys roll up
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  in the vehicle with high viz vests behind the
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  Louvre. They just rolled up onto the sidewalk
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  and were just like we're just gonna put this
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  utility vehicle here. They then used a ladder
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  on the vehicle climbed up onto a balcony and
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  broke through a window. The car pulled up at
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  9 30 a .m. The window was broken at 9 34. They
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  left the Louvre. at 938. They were in there for
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  four minutes, during which time they used glass
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  cutters to cut holes in the display cases and
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  get the stuff out of there. 936 is when the police
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  were first informed of anything happening. A
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  security person at the Louvre pressed the button
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  that's like the call the po -po button, but at
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  that point they had two minutes to do anything
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  about this, at which point... The thieves got
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  out. They went down the ladder, tossed their
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  supplies, and met up with their getaway drivers
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  who were on scooters that went ZOOM, and they
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  just kind of peaced out. When I say scooters,
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  I don't mean, like, Razor scooters. That would
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  probably be the only way this would be more rad.
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  How? Like, how did this happen? Let's talk about
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  the security situation. First of all, there wasn't
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  a camera where they broke into the museum. There
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  just wasn't. There's just a balcony? next to
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  a very shatterable window next to the Louvre,
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  and there was no camera there whatsoever. Security
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  didn't even know what was going on until, you
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  know, four minutes into their plan. No one stopped
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  them from just putting a cherry picker next to
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  a museum for no reason. It's the kind of thing
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  that usually somebody's like, hey, what are you
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  here for? It's just, you know, the perimeter
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  of one of the most famous museums housing some
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  of the most expensive things known to man. Why
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  would we be cautious? Additionally, you know,
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  they use the glass cutty thingies because apparently
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  the glass enclosures were bulletproof, but not
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  cut proof. They were installed when bullets was
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  the biggest thing they were trying to defend
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  against and never upgraded. Now, it seems like
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  that's a pretty major lapse in security. for
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  something like this, and that's correct, it is.
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  They've been understaffed and underfunded for
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  a long time. Weird how that doesn't matter till
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  it does. But there could be another angle here,
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  and I want to take this with a grain of salt
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  because this is coming from authorities who have
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  a lot to lose if this looks bad, which it does,
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  but investigators in the case have stated that
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  there is digital forensic evidence that this
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  may have been an inside job. It could be that
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  the information about the lapses in security
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  were given to the thieves by a security guard
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  at the museum. That'd be so convenient. It wasn't
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  our fault. It wasn't the chronic underfunding.
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  It wasn't not taking anything seriously and not
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  actually caring about the security. It was an
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  inside job. No one could have stopped this. Anyway,
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  what's the fallout of this? Not a ton, aside
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  from like, France is pretty embarrassed right
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  now. It doesn't look good for the French government,
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  but also the French government... doesn't need
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  a whole lot more to not look good right now.
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  Authorities in France are trying to project strength
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  and claim that they're gonna get the guys and
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  they're gonna bring back everything that was
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  stolen in one piece. One piece! But that's pretty
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  unlikely, like crime analysts say that this is
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  the kind of thing that you break them down into
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  components, you melt down the metals, you get
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  all the gems out, you send them to a bunch of
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  different places, get them all cut, and it's
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  basically untraceable. That's what I should be
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  doing. Anyway, the world woke up and saw that
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  like four dudes just absolutely owned France
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  and stole some crown jewels that had questionable
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  origins. Most likely worn by royals and such.
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  I don't know. Feels a little heartwarming. Just
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  a nice change of pace. Dear listener, did you
• 6:20
  know that I stream? I stream twice a week. You
• 6:23
  should go to it. You can find my streams on Twitch,
• 6:25
  on YouTube, or at live .endeavorance .tv every
• 6:29
  Wednesday and Friday starting at 11 a .m. US
• 6:31
  East. All of the stream recordings are then posted
• 6:34
  to my YouTube channel. There's also an archive
• 6:36
  on YouTube of older streams. I've been doing
• 6:39
  this for a while, so plenty of content. Check
• 6:41
  me out, come hang out. It's me and my dog and
• 6:43
  we have a good time. Cool. Anyway. What else
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  is going on? SNAP is getting snapped. Thanos
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  would be proud. The U .S. government is still
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  shut down, and as we roll over into the month
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  of November, the USDA has now announced that
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  SNAP benefits will not be paid out for the month
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  of November. For context, SNAP is also known
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  as food stamps. It's food assistance programs
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  in the U .S. It helps people who can't reliably
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  get food get food. And 42 million Americans depend
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  on it. That is about 12 % of the U .S. population.
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  That depends on food assistance programs. Because
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  we're poor and hungry. Anyway, the USDA is supposed
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  to pay out funds to states so that states can
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  help people get food and so on and so forth.
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  And the Fed is no longer going to be doing that
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  because the USDA has said, quote, I'm not kidding
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  when I say that the USDA posted this on their
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  website in giant letters. thinking that this
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  is a winning message. Quote, Senate Democrats
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  have now voted 12 times to not fund the food
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  stamp program, also known as the Supplemental
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  Nutrition Assistance Program, SNAP. Bottom line,
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  the well has run dry. At this time, there will
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  be no benefits issued November 1st. We are approaching
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  an inflection point for Senate Democrats. They
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  can continue to hold out for health care for
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  illegal aliens and gender mutilation procedures
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  or reopen the government so mothers, babies,
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  and the most vulnerable among us can receive
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  critical nutrition assistance." End quote. I
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  always love it when the people who are in charge
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  of giving out food assistance use the withholding
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  of food assistance and the struggles of those
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  who won't get that food assistance as a political
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  chip against the people that they're trying to
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  blame for not giving out the food assistance
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  that's totally in their control. Anyway. The
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  U .S. Department of Agriculture has said no more
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  benefits, which means that states are now just
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  going to have to figure out what the fuck to
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  do. So it's going to be a state by state thing
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  and you should look up your state and what's
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  going to happen with your food benefits if that's
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  something you depend on. What's maddening is
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  that the USDA put out a statement saying that
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  they would use existing emergency funds to help
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  ensure that people still get their benefits a
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  month ago. That statement has been removed from
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  their website, and now they're trying to claim
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  those funds are not, quote, legally available
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  to them. Essentially, there are multiple multi
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  -year funds that the USDA can use to fill in
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  gaps in spending for emergency situations such
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  as this. They had fully intended to do that a
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  month ago, but they changed their mind. Nationally,
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  legal scholars are like, it is insane to claim
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  that the USDA can't use these funds. A whole
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  bunch of states have also called out the Fed
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  being like, what in the fuck? This is going to
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  cause a lot of people to go hungry. It's really
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  fucking gross. And if this is something you depend
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  on and this is adding to your stress, I'm very,
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  very sorry for the situation that you're finding
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  yourself in. It's not your fault that these people
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  have riled up a base that need constant red meat
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  to stay focused and they're using you. as that
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  red meat. The only solace is that hunger is a
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  universal language and it doesn't matter who
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  you voted for. That vote is not going to give
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  you the food you need. Anyway, what else? Oh,
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  on the topic of intentionally hurting our own
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  citizens. Earlier this year in Western Maryland,
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  there was torrential downpour that caused near
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  record flooding and created an absolute disaster
• 10:10
  scenario in Garrett and Allegheny counties. Historic
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  flooding tore through towns as a river raised
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  to near record levels in six hours. The state
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  of Maryland applied for federal disaster relief
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  from FEMA, which is the U .S.'s Federal Disaster
• 10:24
  Relief Agency, and that relief was denied. Over
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  and over again, for months, FEMA had assessed
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  the damage in the area to be $33 .7 million worth
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  of damage. That is three times the requirement
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  for the state of Maryland to apply for that federal
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  funding. So while FEMA acknowledged the disaster
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  was well within the requirements, the Trump administration
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  still repeatedly refused aid, presumably because
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  Maryland is a blue state. Right next to Maryland,
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  in fact, like interlocked with the same counties
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  that were affected in Maryland, is West Virginia.
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  In June, West Virginia saw a similar disaster
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  and they got their relief funding in July. West
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  Virginia is a red state. For international viewers,
• 11:06
  a blue versus red state in the U .S. means which
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  way it went for the presidential election. So
• 11:11
  like a red state went for Trump, a blue state
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  went for Kamala Harris. Trump famously is withholding
• 11:16
  as much as he can from blue states as retaliation.
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  What's really sad here is that the counties affected
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  in Maryland, Garrett and Allegheny County, swung
• 11:26
  for Trump 70 -30, Garrett actually more like
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  75 -25. So in doing this, in punishing a blue
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  state, he's actually just punishing millions
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  of people who voted for him. And I'm not saying
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  this as a, haha, they got what they voted for
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  kind of dig. It's just sad. It's the same thing
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  as when a disaster hits Florida or Texas and
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  people cheer because there's a lot of Republicans
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  there or they swing red, like, no. That's gross.
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  Even with that logic, if you take Garrett and
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  Allegheny County, that means that 25 and 30 percent
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  of the people living there didn't vote for this.
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  They did quote the right thing with their vote.
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  No one deserves this. We're held hostage by a
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  fucked up system. And watching the federal government
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  pick and choose which citizens are worth saving
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  based on where they fall geographically in the
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  country is fucked. So hey, maybe use disaster
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  relief to relieve disaster for your citizens.
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  who voted for you. I truly don't give a shit
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  who you voted for. If your house is swept away
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  by a river, I think you should get some help
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  from the government. And they're, you know, helping
• 12:31
  people having disasters agency. Speaking of disasters,
• 12:35
  let's talk about Amazon Web Services. You probably
• 12:37
  were impacted by this. This past week, Amazon
• 12:39
  Web Services had a major outage in their US East
• 12:42
  One sector. AWS is Amazon Web Services. It is
• 12:46
  a giant cloud service provider that corporations
• 12:49
  can basically rent servers and services from
• 12:51
  to build their apps. There was a major DNS issue.
• 12:56
  that took down a large chunk of AWS for 15 hours.
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  Instead of getting super technical about what
• 13:02
  happened, I'm gonna use a bit of a metaphor,
• 13:04
  because it's not, you would leave this video
• 13:06
  if I actually started explaining what happened.
• 13:08
  Imagine, if you will, a restaurant, and this
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  restaurant has three different receptionists.
• 13:13
  It's a high -end restaurant, and at the start
• 13:14
  of the night, management gives the receptionists
• 13:17
  a seating plan. Receptionists A, B, and C all
• 13:19
  got the seating plan for that night, but receptionist
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  A went out for a smoke break. While he was out
• 13:24
  on that smoke break, B and C got a revised seating
• 13:27
  plan from management. They're like, we actually,
• 13:29
  we're going to do this instead. And so A comes
• 13:31
  back from their smoke break and they see that
• 13:33
  there's a different seating plan on the desk
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  than the one that they were given. And they're
• 13:37
  like, that must be an old one. I'm going to toss
• 13:39
  this aside and put mine here instead. And then
• 13:42
  they started to try to seat people and it was
• 13:44
  a fucking disaster. That's basically what happened.
• 13:47
  There's a system that's supposed to route data
• 13:48
  to places and that system got tripped up. Didn't
• 13:51
  know which places to send people to because of
• 13:54
  a timing error. and oopsie daisy all of my apps
• 13:58
  if you're wondering specifically it was a dns
• 14:01
  issue with dynamo db and and that if you know
• 14:04
  what those words mean you know why it was catastrophic
• 14:06
  so it took about 15 hours during which time basically
• 14:09
  half the internet dissolved worldwide outages
• 14:12
  affecting dozens of countries untold billions
• 14:15
  of dollars likely lost always good we love a
• 14:18
  good amazon outage this happens not infrequently
• 14:21
  It happens infrequently, but not infrequently
• 14:24
  enough. Lightning round! Prince Andrew's gonna
• 14:26
  stop using the Duke of York title, largely because
• 14:29
  of the whole, he's a pedophile thing. One of
• 14:31
  the guys in that leaked young Republicans chat
• 14:34
  with all the racism, turns out he was a Vermont
• 14:36
  state senator and has since resigned. The US
• 14:39
  is continuing to bomb boats off the coast of
• 14:41
  Venezuela, despite providing zero evidence that
• 14:45
  they're narco -terrorists, as this administration
• 14:47
  keeps claiming. Speaking of blatant corruption,
• 14:50
  Trump pardoned the founder of Binance, which
• 14:52
  is a crypto company that has deep ties to Trump's
• 14:55
  crypto schemes. The CEO of the company had previously
• 14:58
  pled guilty to facilitating money laundering.
• 15:01
  And finally for today, after an angry word from
• 15:03
  his estate, OpenAI has made it so that you can't
• 15:06
  generate AI videos of Martin Luther King Jr.
• 15:09
  on Sora anymore. Or at least they're trying to
• 15:12
  do that. What a bad idea. I'm referring to computers
• 15:16
  when I'm saying that. Thank you so much for listening
• 15:18
  to today's episode of Stuff Keeps Happening.
• 15:20
  Head to SKH .News for sources, bonus content,
• 15:23
  and a great deal on various gemstones and precious
• 15:27
  metals. My name is Endeavor, and we'll talk again
• 15:30
  soon. Take care and be well.