Latest / Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast / How to Overcome Perfectionism & Perform Under Pressure | DJ CEO Interview

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How to Overcome Perfectionism & Perform Under Pressure | DJ CEO Interview · Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast

0:07
This is season 2 of Rise and Thrive for Doctor J Nicole.
0:33
There's a version of success that looks effortless.
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It looks polished, It looks intentional, it looks elevated.
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But what we don't always see is the pressure behind it, the
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quiet expectation to get everything right, to maintain
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the standard and never drop the ball.
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And overtime, what starts his excellence can slowly become
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perfectionism. Not because we want to be
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perfect, but because we don't want to feel.
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So today's conversation is about releasing that weight.
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It's about understanding that God never called us to be
1:05
perfect. He called us to be faithful.
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He called us to be diligent. Today I am joined by someone who
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embodies excellence at a high level.
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Known as Mr. Style and Performance.
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Jurrell Green has built a brand rooted and precision presence
1:23
and curated experiences through the style and performance
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experience from stages to global spaces.
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What he creates is not just seen, but it is felt.
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And today we're going beyond the experience and into the person
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behind it. Jarrell, welcome to Rise and
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Thrive. Thank you.
1:43
Thank you, Doctor. Doctor Jar, I appreciate you.
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Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here.
1:49
Yes, thank you for joining for sure.
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And I'd love that we're able to have this conversation after
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knowing each other 20 plus years and just seeing you grow and you
2:01
do your thing. And you know, it makes me proud,
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right? And so I love to share stories,
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but I also love to share stories, especially from my
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family, my, my bison family, right?
2:14
We're we're also group of people, right?
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There we are, there we are. Speak the truth ain't the devil.
2:19
OK, so for anyone who doesn't know you, please introduce
2:24
yourself. Tell them who you are.
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Well, yes, I am Jerrell Green, better known or most more
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popularly known as DJCEO, Professional DJ.
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Now Miss Marks 20 years in a business for me.
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I'm born and raised Brooklyn, NY, all day proud Howard grad.
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You know, my background is in television and film degrees in
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broadcast journalism and all that.
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But my calling is very clearly for me to serve the people and
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connect with people through music.
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OK. And I've been obedient in that
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regard again for 20 plus years now.
2:57
What, 20 years now officially. Yeah.
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Did you know I am, I can be credited and if I'm not, I will
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speak up and say all these DJs that you see that are just in
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snazzy and fancy. Now this is something I was
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doing 20 years ago when DJs were just showing up for hoodies and
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T-shirts. I wasn't being very
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unintentional with my branding. I mean how I presented myself,
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but all at the same time never losing sight of my purpose and
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my responsibility as a DJ, right?
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The I didn't substitute the brand for the calling, I just
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married the 2 so. Yeah, I love that, marrying the
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two and bringing it together. So like, Speaking of style,
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right, 'cause every time I see you, you, you, you, you, you
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know how to put a look together, right?
3:44
And what influenced your style? So to be honest, in the very
3:49
beginning, in the very beginning, I didn't.
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Well, I've always been someone who's had a certain substance of
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style. Even when I was young, my mom
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would tell me I'm always certain looks I'm always going after.
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But when just being like a child of hip hop and kind of growing
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up in Brooklyn, the sophisticated look wasn't
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something that I had a lot of examples to learn from.
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So when I first started to apply it to myself as a DJ brand, I
4:20
wouldn't say that I had great style.
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I think I was just, I was just locking into a a certain fashion
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look. So even the suits that I wore,
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they didn't necessarily fit right, right.
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The shirt, you know, I was shopping like I was shopping for
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urban apparel, but like, you know, the shirt might be too
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big. The soup, you know how, how they
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say back and then you're looking like a soup sandwich, right?
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That's you know, that's how it, it kind of started.
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But I stood out regardless because again, like no other DJs
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were even attempting to dress up right.
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So it didn't the suit by itself stood out.
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But then I will always give a credit to a good friend of mine,
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Gardy friend of mine back here in Brooklyn.
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He was the first. He was the first one.
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He was like, now I got to take you shopping, he says.
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Because like, I see what you're trying to do, but you're not
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doing it right. Like you have to dress according
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to your size and your shape and your physique.
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And again, we were, you know, coming off the oversized
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throwback jerseys and, you know, all this stuff and following
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Jay-Z of all people. I don't know why we were doing
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that. But, you know, buy like buying
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French cuff shirts that was just too big.
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Like you can slip your wrist, your hand out the sleeve without
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unbuttoning the cufflinks. Like it was bad.
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And so he, he kind of, he, he kind of taught me because he's
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a, he's a stylist. And so, yeah, a personal
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shopper. So he's like, Nah, this is what
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you need to do. And he introduced me to Zara,
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you know what I'm saying? I didn't have a lot of money at
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the time, so Zara was perfect, you know, in my lane where I
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could get some, some luxury looking and feeling items at an
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affordable price. And that's what really changed.
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And that's when I really started to go, OK, now I know what the
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fit is like. Now I could just be the creative
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self that I am and just put some fits together.
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So I give a lot of credit to Guardians for helping me find my
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style. You know, what I love about that
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is that you were doing what you felt organically.
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And when you just move and you move like that, like who you
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need shows up, people see it, they recognize it.
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So like you said, he saw you and he was like, listen, just come
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on, let's, let's, let's do this. I got you.
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Absolutely. I love that that like we're
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supported along the way. So before the stages, before the
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travel and everything that people see now, like what was
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Jarrell Green and what really shaped you in the beginning?
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Just as a person or are you saying musically?
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You can do both right because of the person first.
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Yeah, so I mean, it all all definitely comes back to my
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household. You know, I was fortunate to
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have two really great parents in a sense, you know, they just a
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fan of family in general. Like, I have my parents, right,
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But my grandparents, my older cousin, aunts and uncles like
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it. It was really a village and then
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my village within my community, right?
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So the church I pretty much was raised in Emmanuel Baptist
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Church right across the street from my house.
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So I spent a majority of my upbringing there, but not
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necessarily in the religious aspect because the church was
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like black churches, particularly back then were very
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much a cornerstone of the community.
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So like I'm with the preschool there, I went to after school
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there. I did Boy Scouts there.
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They had a program called Teen Canteen, which was pretty much a
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community group for like the young teens in the
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neighborhoods. And they come and we have
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conversations about stuff that teenagers are dealing with.
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And then we'd have parties and, you know, trips and all of this
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type of stuff. So they played a huge part in it
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as well. So again, it was just all
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community. And so we just, I learned a lot
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about leadership going through that process.
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I was always, you know, I always give credit to my father for my
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introduction to or for my love for music.
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When we say that my love for music, I watched him.
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I mean, I'm like 4 or five years old and you know, my aunts,
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uncles will come over on a random Friday, right, just to
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hang out with their their older brother.
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And he just would play music and we all would Just Dance in the
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living room all night long, right.
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So that's like my introduction, like I knew the impact of music
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and I knew what it would do. And then also, and you know,
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with that sports, a lot of people don't know, I played a
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year of college basketball before I came to Howard.
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OK. My dad played semi pro baseball.
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They always had me involved in like team sports, but also like
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my social life was like I always had people around me and
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friends. So I think at an early age I was
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being shaped to be a leader. I was shaped to be.
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I was being shaped to be a community organizer.
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That's what a DJ really is. If you don't, people don't
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understand that's what we do, right?
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The crux of it all is it what we do.
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So that was like my life. It's, you know, I had my aunts
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live. I've had aunts, grandparents,
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cousins, God sister. Everybody lived with us at one
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point, right? So this is also showing me when
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I'm young, what it means to be a service to others.
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People are in need. Boom.
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Like show you. No, no, this is what you do for
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the people that you love. So these are all the things that
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are kind of shaping me to be like who I am, a person of
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immense love or capacity to love and to serve.
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I didn't realize though, until I was maybe this past year that
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everybody isn't necessarily given those gifts or those
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training wheels at an early age, right?
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I never thought I was kind of special in that regard.
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I was just like, yeah, I don't do this.
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Y'all don't, you know, show up or you know, whatever.
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You don't have passion for people, right?
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But no, that's who I was being shaped to be and a lot of that
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comes from my parents. I'm constantly hosting and just
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having family and friends around.
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Again, the music is tied into that.
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Again, being a part of team sports is a part of that because
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you have to figure out a way to work with other individuals and
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personalities. These all things that, as I'm
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saying them now, as a revelation of how this shaped me to be as
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great as I am and what I do because all of these things are
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transferable. Like as a DJ, I'm constantly
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dealing with different people and personalities and trying to
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get everyone on one accord so we can have a successful, whatever
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it is, right? That's been my life, my entire
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life. Wow, I love that.
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I love that and how community played a part in that.
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And it was just modelled. And so you soaked it up from the
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environment. I imagine they were also
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intentional conversations, but just having that and seeing that
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and coming into the awareness of like, you know what, everybody
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didn't have it, and it can make you appreciate it that much
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more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And I don't, to be honest, I, there weren't a lot of
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conversations that I remember, especially not for my parents.
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I mean, I, I, I think maybe through the teen canteen process
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and things. And, and then I had like great,
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like my people, you know, technically they're my best
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friends, but they're my brothers, you know, their
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parents, you know, speak pouring into me as well.
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But I don't remember there being a lot of conversations.
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You just just learn by learn by example.
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Yeah. You know, leading it will the
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men around me led by example. Life moves fast and somewhere
11:55
between work responsibilities and routine, a lot of people
11:58
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12:33
OK, so let's talk a little bit more about that right?
12:36
And what success and what influenced your standard of
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excellence growing up. And it sounds like that's the
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direction you were going in. Talk about those men that
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influenced you. Well, I think all of them, all
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of them influenced me in various ways and I don't for me, it
12:56
wasn't intentional. I think it was just a natural
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process for me to become the some of them, right.
13:03
So like my dad is a model of consistency.
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Consistency in Hall that's. Super important.
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That's who we consistency, our work, get up at the same time
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every day. Do this, do that.
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Like I'm going to provide for my family.
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I'm going like consistency, right?
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So I got that from him. My cousin who's more like my
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older brother, we've always been super, super close.
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He really maybe might have been my introduction as far as men is
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men are concerned, my introduction, the kind of style,
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but also how to be very charismatic, right?
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And to kind of use my personality to get to the things
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that I want. I learned a lot from him in that
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regard. And also just to like live he
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he's always been like I'm going with a good, bad indifferent.
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It don't matter. Like I'm going after it with,
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you know, unconditionally, right.
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So I got that him all best friends.
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Jason, his dad was principal. I'm growing up.
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So like the importance of even though everybody like instilled
14:12
in points of education, I always looked at him more as an
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intellect, right? So the importance of being a
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thinker, like I got that from him.
14:21
You know, one thing I loved about Emmanuel, when you think
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really when the biggest issue when it comes like Christianity
14:28
is this holier than thou kind of approach and missing the whole
14:33
point in how to connect with people and you know, whatever.
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But Emmanuel has always been one of those.
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Ain't nobody here perfect. Yeah, that's the one down,
14:45
right? And we're all just trying to get
14:47
it right. And so they were very nurturing
14:50
in that regard. And so to see like the clergymen
14:53
or even young men who were like mentors to us and then become
14:59
clergymen like to watch their journey, right.
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But I think it was very impactful on me and how I
15:05
incorporated God into my life and and how I lived on a daily
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basis, right. It wasn't Bible thumping toting.
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It was really a kind of a, a lesson in morality and grace and
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fairness and forgiveness and all of these things, right?
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So I got a lot of that from them.
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So that's, you know, I, like I said, I got a little bit from
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everybody and I think I've just subconsciously and I'm grateful
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for that. It's just I just decided to
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apply all these things because some of the things that I
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learned particularly from like my older cousin was like my
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brother, like young black kid from the project.
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You know, it was a womanizer, right?
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That's what he was, right? He was and not in a sense of
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like because that that term is so heavy, like he was single,
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but he was just doing his thing. But in that, I watched how he
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dealt with women in person. Right, OK.
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And from that, I learned how to be affectionate and loving and
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gentle with women. OK.
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Because, I mean, because to be a womanizer and a good one, you
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have to be able to create that experience and make people feel,
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you know? Exactly.
16:29
So I got down. My dad wasn't.
16:32
It was not an affectionate person.
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He was a this is this is the things right.
16:37
He showed his love in action and you know, again, food on the
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table, you know, roof over your head, clothes on your back.
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I'm I'm there for every game. Like he showed his love in that
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regard. As far as I did not see that, I
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didn't see the infection in the softness towards my mom.
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OK. You know what I'm saying?
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Like he just as a family, I'm, I'm going to make sure we good,
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right? But I didn't see him love up on
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my mom and, and all that type of stuff.
17:05
And, and also another person to give credit to, and that is my,
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my maternal grandfather, my maternal grandparents, they were
17:13
all over each other all the time, right?
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So, so, you know, so to see that, to know like, no, this is
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something that you, you know, can do.
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So again, I just subconsciously or or maybe intentionally and
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just didn't realize that a young age, I was just picking the best
17:29
out of everybody and just applying it to myself.
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Yeah, wow, you had quite the village for sure.
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Yeah, and of course, and over time, doing a journey, I'm, I
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picked up bad habits and bad things as well.
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You know what I mean? Like you pick it all up but I
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think the total sum of me. Yeah.
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That makes me who I am. I think I picked the best of
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everybody that was around me so. Yeah, and finding our way to our
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true self, right? We try on some things.
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Some things don't fit or they fit for a season.
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Sometimes it hurt, it's too tight.
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And we we learn, right. But those foundational things
18:06
were still there. So when we think about your
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career and as it began to grow, when did you start to feel like
18:15
a pressure to maintain a certain standard?
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I think I always put pressure on myself.
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OK, I think that's just something it could be because
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I'm an Aquarius. It could be a multitude of
18:26
things. But I've always put that
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pressure on myself to be who I say that I am.
18:30
And that pressure, I don't think I don't think it feels like
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pressure for me because it's such a normal way of being.
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Excuse me for myself. So even like only, I would say
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only when I move, it might have been when I moved to Vegas or
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maybe right before I moved to Vegas is when I started to add
18:52
more diversity even to my style. OK, right.
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Because when I came in, because nobody was doing anything I was
18:59
doing, it was like suits, suits and variations of suits, right?
19:05
It was the tie, maybe the best, maybe a three piece, maybe just
19:08
the best. Like it was, that was it, you
19:10
know what I mean? And then over time I was like,
19:12
no, this, this can't be that, right?
19:14
This has to, has to be more right.
19:17
And then I just started to kind of develop my own style.
19:21
But there was never any pressure in it.
19:22
It was just more so like I always like to look good,
19:26
period. Right.
19:28
As a DJ, this is no pressure in doing something that you love.
19:32
That's what it is. Like, I never felt like, oh, I
19:34
got to get this right, or I got to do this because people are
19:37
going to think like, no, like I think it's because I've always
19:39
been guided supernaturally. I almost want to say, yeah, it's
19:44
to kind of go in and just use your gifts.
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I'm over it. Like during the pandemic, I, I
19:51
gained a greater understanding of why I've been chosen to do
19:54
what I do. So now I'm very much aware of my
19:57
approach, which if there were any pressure, there's absolutely
20:00
none now because I'm chosen, right?
20:05
That's how I look at it. You know what I'm saying?
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I'm chosen So but I think before it was always like, Nah, like I
20:12
just I just love D Jing like I don't, I think because I care
20:15
for it so much and I people were surprised when I tell them this
20:18
before every set. I have a I'm nervous like a
20:21
little bit like in my head I'm just like, oh, what if I?
20:25
What if I forget how to DJ? You know, it's just, it's such a
20:28
weird thing, but I had it when I played ball too.
20:30
Like before every game I was nervous.
20:31
And then once the ball goes up, I know what I'm doing here,
20:36
right? It's the same thing with DJ.
20:37
And once I played the first record, I'm like, OK, I got it.
20:40
And we just, I move forward and I and I do what I do.
20:44
So yeah, I don't think there was ever been any pressure.
20:48
I just think I loved what I do. So my my good friend who I
20:52
always I get really, he's another person who's really my
20:55
brother who without him I don't really have a DJ career.
20:58
He always says like I know how to do everything well and I tell
21:03
him that is not true. I just.
21:05
He says that about you. Yeah.
21:07
And I tell him I only do things that I know that I can do.
21:11
Well, you're never going to think that's a good.
21:13
Strategy. That I can't do well because
21:16
that's not my plate. That's not what I'm supposed to
21:17
be, right? I only do the things that I, I'm
21:22
genuinely called to do, right? And even before I understood it
21:26
as a calling, like if something is attracting me to do it, I'm
21:31
going to do it. And every time that I follow
21:33
that feeling, I'm really good at what I do.
21:36
But you only catch me doing things I'm good at.
21:39
So when do you first remember that following Because some
21:42
people are not that tapped in. I don't that I don't think I
21:49
ever paid attention to it until I mean this probably within the
21:55
last 10 years. Like I don't think I was aware
21:58
that that's what's happening. I can look back on it and go,
22:01
oh, This is why, right? Because why didn't I want to go
22:04
do this other thing? Why didn't I want to go, you
22:07
know, play football? Why didn't I like you go want to
22:11
go? I just like, Nah, that's not
22:15
what I'm supposed. I, I, I never at the time, I
22:17
wasn't saying that's not what I'm supposed to be.
22:19
I just didn't, it didn't pull me enough to want to do it right.
22:23
Like my mom for years was like, you know, you should model.
22:28
And I was just like, OK, like if somebody comes to me and is
22:32
like, hey, I want you to be in the shoot, I'll be in the shoot.
22:34
I don't, I don't feel pulled enough to go in that direction
22:38
that I'm going to go through the process of auditions and getting
22:42
these photos done and getting a look book.
22:44
I don't care enough and it's not calling me enough to want to do
22:48
that. I just don't, right?
22:50
Same thing with acting. She said the same thing with
22:52
acting. And you know, I'm like, yo, if
22:54
somebody asked me, they want me to be in it, they go, hey, we
22:57
want you to do this. I will do it.
22:59
If you're asking me to go out and I'm not, I don't care enough
23:03
to do that, right? DJ ING was different.
23:07
DJ ING and basketball, those are the two things I will.
23:09
I can't even walk on a basketball court and not want to
23:12
touch a basketball and shoot. I don't care what I'm wearing.
23:15
Like I need to. That's how much I love it for.
23:18
And it's the same way the DJ ING like I just, I can't stay away
23:22
from it. So I never, so it wasn't the
23:26
spiritual aspect of it. I was completely unaware of it
23:30
until maybe about 10 years ago. Listen, now that you're aware,
23:34
like that changes things. And I'm trying to remember when
23:37
I was like, oh, no, because like I remember seeing like over the
23:41
years before, like where you were, I was, I saw you doing
23:45
some TV stuff at some point, but then I saw you really locking in
23:49
with the DJ stuff. And then I was like, Oh no, no,
23:52
no, he legit like you were in like Moscow or something.
23:55
Where? Did you go?
23:55
I was. I was in Russia.
23:57
Yeah. Yeah, I was in Moscow, in a city
23:59
called ijesk. Yeah.
24:01
And like, how did that even come about?
24:04
So it all stems from a good friend of mine, Mike Michael
24:08
McConnell. him and I were doing a Monday night party in New
24:11
York, a weekly Monday night party called the Influence
24:13
Series. This is before there was any
24:15
term called influencers and self labeling themselves.
24:19
It was none of that, right? It was called Influence Series.
24:23
He was a brand ambassador for Belvedere, and they had an
24:25
influencer program in which the brand ambassadors would just,
24:29
you know, go out, do activations, things of that
24:31
nature. So he needed some activations.
24:34
At the time, I was just becoming more business savvy and aware of
24:38
like, how much brand partnerships can benefit you.
24:41
Yeah. I was like, yo, let's do
24:45
something together. I'm let me get you.
24:47
He said, yo, you found me a spot.
24:48
We could do something. So like within like 24 hours.
24:51
No, it was less than that. It was like within like 2-3
24:54
hours, I found a spot and we started the Influence series.
24:59
This is about 2009, I want to say.
25:01
OK, so we were doing it. It was one of the best, like you
25:07
guys, anybody. It was one of the premiere like
25:09
New York City, Monday night night life parties.
25:11
And it wasn't like late night, it was like from 6:00 to 11:00,
25:14
something like that. But it was OK.
25:15
That's that's prime. People can go to work.
25:17
It was perfect, but we were young so it for us.
25:20
We will party all night and go to work.
25:21
And it didn't, that didn't matter.
25:22
But yeah, it was at that time nobody was like, because most
25:27
like after work parties were like on a Thursday.
25:29
And we didn't fashion it as an after work party.
25:32
We really fascinated about it was an industry party.
25:35
That's what's pretty much what it was.
25:36
It was an. Industry Party.
25:37
So we're doing really well. A friend of ours was like, yo,
25:41
she was working for the one group who they're they under
25:44
their portfolio was Bagatell and the Ganzibor Hotel, things of
25:48
that nature. But she was working for them out
25:50
in Turks and Caicos. She was like, you guys got to
25:53
come out here and host a weekend and touch some Caicos.
25:56
So it was like, I bet. So we did that.
26:01
When we were out there. We met this couple.
26:04
Funny enough, the dude lived like 5 minutes from me in
26:08
Brooklyn. We had never met before.
26:10
Wow. So, you know, we all became cool
26:14
ADJ. You know, the whole time out
26:16
there, about a year or two later and his wife reaches out to me
26:21
and she's like, hey, would you be interested in going to
26:23
Moscow? The DJ in Moscow?
26:24
I'm DJ in Russia. And I was like, the hell yeah.
26:29
Like, let's go. Like, you know what, I'm not.
26:32
It could be ignorance. It just could be the Brooklyn
26:34
and me. It just could be my faith and
26:37
the fact that everything's going to work out.
26:39
Whatever, I, I wasn't nervous about anything and I, so I was
26:42
like, yes, it's like, boom, her dad owned this company, this
26:45
really big eyewear company out there, really successful.
26:48
They, they were celebrating their twenty year anniversary
26:51
and she had told him like, if you really want to make this,
26:54
this anniversary special, you need to bring in a DJ from
26:58
America. And he said, OK.
27:00
She said, I know the guy. So she reached out to me.
27:04
Boom. That was it.
27:05
I was out. I was in Russia for like 2 weeks
27:09
and I never once felt there or uncomfortable.
27:12
You know, my head is always on the swivel, my antenna is always
27:15
up because I'm a Brooklyn kid I was born in.
27:16
Yeah, you're from Brooklyn. So I'm always like, you know,
27:19
whatever. But it was, it was a wonderful
27:21
time. I had an amazing time out there.
27:22
And yeah. And so that those are things,
27:25
those are just kind of just following my heart that this is
27:29
what needs to happen. So again.
27:30
But everywhere I go, I treat every set like an audition.
27:37
Because there's always somebody. There, right.
27:39
Somebody there has never heard me before.
27:41
Yeah, right. So I'm always, I don't take any
27:43
nights off. And then because of that, you
27:45
know, they like, yo, so they flew me out to Russia and did
27:50
that. So.
27:50
Yeah. And another highlight, because
27:52
I'm, I'm, I'm a brag on you a little bit or give you the space
27:55
to do it right and talk about the facts and your experience.
27:59
You also had a residency in Vegas.
28:02
Talk to us a little bit about that.
28:04
I had multiple residencies. There we go.
28:07
Yeah, so my wife and I, we were dating at the time, both living
28:13
and she was living in Queens. I was in Brooklyn and we both
28:16
had our full of had our fill of New York.
28:18
By this time. We were just over this city and
28:21
she was like, I want to move to Vegas.
28:22
And I was like, why? Like what?
28:25
Like I'm like I'm in New York, I'm in New York.
28:28
I'm good. I was lying to myself, right.
28:30
So I was just like this. It just wasn't.
28:35
New York just wasn't serving us. And so finally I was like, you
28:38
know what, let's do it, right? And then in 14 we went out to
28:45
visit and again, so the New York and both of us was kind of like
28:52
we were looking around and we were like, yo, I think, I think
28:57
we could take this town for everything that it's got like,
29:00
you know what I'm saying? That's how we was looking at it.
29:02
So the next year we moved out. So she, you know, my wife's a
29:05
makeup artist and at the time she was working for Mac, so she
29:09
just transferred within the company.
29:11
OK. And then I, I didn't know
29:14
anybody out there. I knew one.
29:16
I knew one person out there was a friend of mine.
29:17
We grew up together in Brooklyn. She had just.
29:19
Moved out there. No Howard connects out there.
29:22
I didn't know any. I didn't connect with my how
29:24
people that were out there until later.
29:25
I didn't like saying like I didn't know anybody.
29:28
Like I didn't know I knew one person that I knew.
29:31
So I moved out there like 3 or 4 months before Serene came out.
29:38
So I stayed with my friend and her, you know, her family or
29:40
whatever for a little bit. And it was tough.
29:46
Yeah, Vegas is a different animal and I didn't think about
29:49
that. I'm thinking I can move like I'm
29:51
moving New York. I could just pull up on people
29:54
and make something happen. Biggest is a very different
29:57
place. It is it's own world.
29:59
It doesn't operate by any rules that anybody else does.
30:03
And then also it's very corporate, which people don't
30:05
really understand. Like it's not like in New York
30:07
you could just walk into a venue, talk to a manager and
30:11
work something out. It's all corporate.
30:13
Like you could go to the club. Ain't nobody at that club.
30:16
Club ain't open until the club is open because they all have
30:18
corporate offices that are off the strip and it's just a very
30:22
different thing. Oh, it was rough.
30:26
It was, it was really rough. I didn't have any gigs out there
30:28
for about 6 to 8 months. So it was a couple of times I
30:31
was, I was flying back to New York, do some gigs in New York,
30:35
come back things of that nature. And then what happened?
30:41
And then so my same friend Mike, who I did the Influence series
30:43
where he connected me up with this guy EJ me EJ he's that's my
30:48
brother. I mean, I love him to life.
30:50
That is my brother. So he just like he would just
30:55
take me around and introduce some of the people and have me
30:57
out and just, you know, looking around, just connecting with
31:00
people. And so off of that, I started to
31:03
build and then the beautiful thing downtown Las Vegas, which
31:07
is the original strip, Fremont Street, right?
31:11
They are kind of like New York in a sense.
31:13
So I had emailed this spot called the beauty bar, same
31:16
beauty bar that's I was in New York and I think there's one in
31:19
Miami too, if I'm not mistaken, or Chicago, something like that.
31:22
Perfect case emailed them. We gotta hit me back.
31:25
He was like, yo, you know, come up, you know, let's meet or
31:29
whatever. So I met and talk with them.
31:31
You know, my my skill set and the things that I've done
31:35
doesn't mean anything to them. It's because because you got to
31:38
just think about it like this, since the advancement and
31:42
introduction to technology as it is today in the DJ space,
31:46
everybody's a DJ, right? So who like you say you, you
31:49
would like, are you really that good?
31:52
So he's like, all right, let's see what you can do.
31:54
So they put me on a, they asked me one night I wanted.
31:59
So I'm like, yo, give me, give me a Sunday, right?
32:04
Who's asked for Give me a Sunday?
32:06
OK. So they gave me a Sunday and I
32:10
mean tore that place down. Why'd you pick a Sunday?
32:16
So part of it, I'm still in my New York mindset.
32:18
In New York, hottest party nights at is Sunday through
32:21
Wednesday, Thursday through Saturday.
32:25
That's for amateurs, you know, that's the weekend warriors.
32:28
Oh, you know, you got to Nah, the real parties with the real
32:33
talent and the real people, that's Sunday through Wednesday.
32:36
That's what it is. So I was like, yo, give me a
32:40
Sunday. So give me a Sunday.
32:41
Killed it. They were like, yo, and of
32:43
course I'm coming with my New York swagger approach to even
32:47
how I play. And they was just like, yo, you
32:52
know, So that became my first residency in New York.
32:56
They had me there. They moved me to Wednesdays
33:00
because they were still OK. I was like perfect.
33:02
So I was there every Wednesday and then after a while they was
33:04
like, we got to put you on Saturdays too, like because you
33:06
just right. So you know, I was there like
33:09
Wednesdays and I would be like maybe one Saturday a month or
33:12
something like that. But the cool thing about it was
33:14
that all the people that worked on the strip, they hung out
33:17
downtown. I didn't hang out on the strip.
33:20
They wanted to be away from that.
33:21
They wanted to be. So then I started to build
33:24
relationships off of that. I started to meet different
33:26
people and then I had an opportunity to do a DJ battle,
33:31
which I got robbed. And because everybody who was
33:34
there was like, Nah, you should have won, but it was.
33:38
But I was OK because me doing it, I got so much respect and
33:41
built so many relationship that was there.
33:45
So I was like, alright, cool. So that started to build.
33:47
And then I moved out there. April 20th, 2015, very 14th of
33:57
2016, I headlined LAX. So less than a year, right?
34:03
Yeah, I got the headline of major nightclub on the Las Vegas
34:06
Strip, so I just put in the work and after that it was just some
34:12
wall effect. And then so I held residencies
34:14
at Dre's after hours. I was a residency at Hyde inside
34:18
the Bellagio. I held a residency at the Dorsey
34:21
inside the Venetian Aquatic Pool Club, inside the Palazzo.
34:28
I had a couple. I had a couple of.
34:31
I'm drawing a blank because I had a lot of them.
34:36
I had a lot. I had a lot.
34:37
I had a lot of a lot of residencies and it was great in
34:40
an overtime. Oh yeah.
34:42
On the record inside Park MGM. I've done a couple sets at Bruno
34:46
Mars Club, Pinky Ring. So now I've been, you know, I've
34:49
been grateful and fortunate in that, in that regard.
34:51
So yeah, I just went out there and did.
34:54
I just went hard. That's it.
34:56
And I succeeded. Yeah.
34:58
So let's let's talk about that a little bit more.
35:00
And just like Faith and Colin being protected and chosen like
35:04
you were in Sin City, as they call it, right?
35:07
And they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?
35:10
So like, how did you stay grounded during that time and
35:14
like meeting all of these different people and heaven
35:16
knows what maybe you did see or heard of, you know?
35:21
I just kept my eye on the prize, right?
35:24
That is Sin City. I had temptation out there.
35:27
I'm grateful because I was out there with my wife always, you
35:30
know, she keeps me balanced and it's it's not.
35:35
Yeah. I'm not going to say it was
35:36
easy. I'm not going to say there
35:38
weren't bumps in a row because they definitely were.
35:41
Well, I came out on a prize like I came out there for a reason.
35:45
Wasn't to be. Oh, buddy, buddy with everybody.
35:49
I don't care about being famous. I don't need anybody to to label
35:54
me as cool. I am who I am.
35:57
I'm coming for what I want. I want to dominate.
36:01
Part of this is the competitiveness in me as
36:03
athletes. So I just kept my eye on the
36:06
prize. And also like I was determined
36:09
again, My, my, my spiritual growth really started during the
36:13
pandemic That should have really started like I always believed
36:17
in God. What is that faith?
36:20
But I think it was just kind of a thing that was, there wasn't a
36:24
thing that got nurtured. It wasn't a thing that I relied
36:27
on. It was just like, Nah, it has to
36:28
be a God. That's it.
36:31
That's the beginning of the end, right?
36:35
I, when I went out there, I said, there's no way I'm losing.
36:39
That's I just kept saying like, imagine me, like imagine me
36:42
losing. This is crazy.
36:45
There's no way I'm losing. That was my entire approach.
36:48
That was my entire thought process.
36:50
There's no way that I'm going to lose.
36:53
I'm too gifted, I'm too talented, I've worked too hard.
36:58
I jumped out the window like we moved to Vegas.
37:01
I don't know nobody out here. Like I don't have an option.
37:04
Losing is not an option. That was my approach.
37:07
So I didn't, I didn't have AI, didn't allow myself the
37:10
opportunity to get caught up in what Sin City had to offer.
37:16
Right. Was I outside a lot?
37:18
Absolutely right. I had to be outside like, you
37:20
know, whatever. You were the soundtrack to
37:22
Outside. And you're right.
37:24
And I and I saw a lot, yes, I saw a lot of wild and crazy
37:27
stuff, but I get to DJ like and Internet entertainment capital
37:33
of the world like and major I'm good.
37:36
Like I've had like really, really, really big name DJs like
37:42
come up to me during sets. Like yo dude, you are
37:45
ridiculous. Like, you know what I'm saying?
37:46
Like you are very much like that.
37:48
That's all. I really, I don't care about all
37:51
that other stuff. Like I'm not because I wasn't.
37:53
And I'm also wasn't a kid. Like if I was, if I moved out to
37:56
Vegas when I was 21, it might have been a whole different
37:59
story. Yikes.
38:00
You know what I'm saying? Especially if I moved out there.
38:02
If I was single, it might have been a whole different story.
38:05
When I moved out there, I was 34.
38:08
OK. Right. 2015, yeah, 34.
38:13
I was 34. I'm sorry, I was 34.
38:19
My priorities are just different at that point, you know what I'm
38:22
saying? This is an opportunity of
38:24
lifetime, and I seized it. This is that simple.
38:27
So my mind is also thinking about all the people you talked
38:31
about that you took all the pieces from and how that
38:35
prepared you to go in with a work ethic, the consistency, not
38:41
being afraid of hard work because you said they were like
38:44
8 months where you were just and you didn't give up.
38:48
I had to get a job. I was just, Oh my God, I was
38:51
just so like, Jesus, I didn't get a job.
38:55
I got a job. You know what I'm saying?
38:56
I worked with Job Corps for real.
39:00
But. Wait, hold on.
39:02
I'm stuck on the way that you said a job.
39:05
I had to get a job you because I, I firmly believe everybody
39:08
deserves the opportunity to do what they love for a living.
39:11
And if you do what you love for a living, it's not a job.
39:13
It's not work right, correct. So, but I had to do something to
39:17
help bring money in because I'm out here with my woman.
39:20
Come on, this again, this goes this goes with my father.
39:22
Like you got to you got to provide and it was tough.
39:26
You know what I'm saying? It's like she was bringing in
39:29
all the money for a good amount until I was able to kind of get
39:32
the ball rolling I had to get. A job that's the real one.
39:36
Shout out to Shereen. No, no, she is as real as they
39:39
come. So I had to get a job and I got
39:41
a job and this is in the process of me getting, I think I had the
39:51
job before I got the residency at Beauty Bar.
39:53
Yeah, I had the job before. I got the residency at Beauty
39:56
Bar, got the job, then got the residency and things and I think
39:59
I was at the job for maybe a year.
40:02
The longest it serves its purpose because after that time
40:05
it was just like boom, I was on, it was on like now I was DJ ING
40:08
like 5-6, seven nights a week, some nights 2, three sets, a
40:13
different club, you know, I mean, so I was good at that
40:15
point, but it was tough because this was home now and I needed
40:20
home to provide. I needed home to be a source of
40:23
income and so I had to work towards that.
40:26
Yeah. And So what I kind of hear from
40:29
you based on what you've been sharing, is that, well, is there
40:38
a difference? I guess I'll ask it as a
40:39
question. Is there a difference to you
40:41
between excellence and perfectionism?
40:43
Yes, OK. So I just feel like the idea,
40:47
like perfectionism is an endless pursuit to a goal that is
40:52
unattainable. Because.
40:55
Perfection is not real right outside of us.
40:58
God is perfect outside of that. That's it, right?
41:01
We will never, we will never be perfect, right?
41:04
So for me, it's always been about excellence, like even even
41:11
perfection. If there's a moment in where I
41:13
can I get a glimpse of me being perfect, It's almost kind of
41:18
like scary, like, you know what I'm saying?
41:21
Like, and also my wife gets on me because I always tell people
41:26
I'm far more gifted than I am talented.
41:29
Like what you gripped me is the and my gift is more powerful
41:34
than my talent, right? My talent is my learning skill
41:36
set. My gift.
41:39
You can't like my gift is perfect.
41:41
Let's say that my gift. Is given to you by.
41:45
Yeah, right. My gift is perfect.
41:46
My my talent is imperfect, right?
41:49
OK. So I don't press record because
41:52
I just believe in my gift so much.
41:53
Like no matter how great this set was, I'll do it again
41:56
because this, you know, I'm not relying on me, I'm relying on my
41:59
gift, right? But she's like, no, you got to
42:02
press record and then, you know, whatever.
42:03
So there are moments when I don't press record, right?
42:08
Where I have sort of like an out of body experience for like, yo,
42:13
this is absolutely perfect. And I'm like, damn, I didn't
42:17
press record, right. I hope you know me.
42:20
Like that happens, right? There's moments of perfection,
42:24
but perfection can never be sustained because we're humans.
42:28
So that's just not possible. But excellence can always be
42:31
sustained because it's just a matter of consistence and this
42:34
consistent discipline. Yeah, right.
42:37
Yeah. Relying on the things that you
42:39
know, relying on your gift, relying on your talents, putting
42:43
in the work. If you remain consistent and
42:46
sharpening your tools, if you remain consistent on
42:49
understanding what your purpose is, if you remain consistent, or
42:52
just being faithful to why you're in the positions that
42:54
you're in, you will always rise to a level of excellence.
42:58
You will always be excellent, but that doesn't mean you're
43:00
going to be perfect, all right? Everybody's got a 99 on the
43:05
test, right? And then maybe the teacher might
43:07
have wrote the word excellent, right?
43:09
It ain't perfect because you didn't get 100, right?
43:12
But it's excellent, right? Excellent.
43:15
And I think for me, particularly as a DJ, my excellence resides
43:19
on my impact on the people in front of me, right?
43:22
Not necessarily my transitions, which are.
43:27
They matter. Which are the best in the
43:29
business, if I do say so myself, Right.
43:31
But the excellence doesn't from a skill set, it does, but from a
43:35
purpose in a calling. My excellence rests and it lives
43:38
inside my impact on the people in front of me.
43:40
How do I how did I make you feel?
43:42
Do you feel better than you did when you came in?
43:45
Right. Yeah.
43:47
Did I bring joy to your life? That's when my excellence was
43:50
at. And so there's a, there's a very
43:52
clear difference and I will, I can't be perfect.
43:58
I don't believe that I can be perfect in that.
44:00
But I could just be excellent in that because I put the, I put
44:03
the people first. I love that distinction because
44:06
there are a lot of people who are actually chasing perfection
44:10
but mislabelling it as excellence to justify why they
44:14
are not doing it or why they're so particular.
44:18
And everything has to be a certain way.
44:20
And I need you to do us all a favor and just please press
44:23
record every time, OK? How would you?
44:27
I have now my wife's friends, like they see me out.
44:30
They woke up to me. Did you press record?
44:32
Like they. It's like it's a thing.
44:34
I look, I am. I don't.
44:39
I'd be lying if I don't battle with the idea of perfection of
44:42
the aspects. Like I produce music, right.
44:45
So it's like, oh, this ain't right.
44:47
Oh, this is, you know, perfection keeps us from sharing
44:50
our work. Really, at the end of the day,
44:52
yeah, it's an excuse not to share your work.
44:55
But I think, I think, like I said, excellence resides in
44:59
like, the consistency of the discipline.
45:02
I think the perfection again is more so if it feels right.
45:07
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46:02
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
46:06
Like if it feels right, then it's perfect from a from a
46:13
spiritual standpoint. Yeah.
46:14
All right. My wife and I have a podcast
46:16
called How Does It Feel? Yeah.
46:19
And we discuss music through the lens of memories, emotions, and
46:22
spirituality. Muse.
46:25
Like if it feels, if it feels real, like man, this feels
46:29
really good, then it's perfect. You don't need to touch it
46:34
right. We look at perfect from a human
46:37
analog standpoint about how this if it feels right, then it is
46:43
perfect. I love that because that is
46:48
actually attainable, right? Like that feeling.
46:51
But then sometimes people, sometimes you can't recreate
46:55
certain things because you're not the same.
46:57
The people what's happening around us.
47:00
It's like, it's just it, it's that, that's.
47:03
That's why that's why I said the moment there's moments of
47:05
perfection and music is all about healing.
47:08
It's all if it feels right, it's perfect.
47:11
You can change, you know, put filters and all.
47:16
Nah. If it feels right, it's perfect.
47:19
Don't touch it. Don't do nothing to it no more.
47:21
So that's kind of how I view it, you know, with perfection,
47:25
excellence. Yeah, love that.
47:27
So thinking about some of those other areas where you say you've
47:30
had some struggles with perfectionism, how did that
47:33
affect your peace? Look, I still have dreams about
47:42
games that I lost in high school, right?
47:46
I'm very serious. Yeah.
47:48
Some dreams are like when I'm sleeping at night.
47:50
Some are daydreams, like I just, I think about.
47:53
They don't. I don't think they disrupt my
47:55
peace, but they don't ever leave my consciousness.
47:58
I'm always like, damn, if I would have made that shot or if
48:01
I'd have did this or if I'd have done that, that that's I think
48:06
about those things exist and I think about them and decisions
48:13
that I made in my life, whether it be like past relationships,
48:17
you know, conflicts or confrontations with friends and
48:19
people. I always read if I would have
48:23
just done this, if I'd have done that right.
48:28
And I guess enough of it was definitely will chip away at
48:30
your piece because you're kind of just hanging on.
48:33
So you know, those those things start to add up.
48:37
So it's always been thing. I don't, I don't know if you
48:42
experienced that. I don't know if anybody else
48:44
experiences it, but I know for me this, I'm always randomly
48:48
having conversations or going through replays of moments in my
48:51
life that that have impact and they're not.
48:54
I don't think some of them are small and insignificant in a
48:57
sense of like to who I've been, you know, what I've done in life
49:00
and who I've become. But some of them are just
49:03
because I feel right. I'm like, damn, I wish that
49:06
didn't go that way. And what could I have done to do
49:08
different to make that different or decisions or how I could
49:11
handle it? I have those thoughts all the
49:13
time, but I don't lose peace. But maybe in that moment, I'm
49:18
not at peace. Maybe in that moment, I'm kind
49:21
of like, you know, it wears on me a little bit.
49:24
And in those moments, you know, I have to have conversations
49:28
with myself. Oftentimes I do take it to God.
49:31
I'll pray about it. I'll have meditation.
49:33
I'll do whatever I can to restore my peace.
49:36
And those moments aren't long lasting, right?
49:40
Which is a beautiful thing. So in a sense that sounds like
49:43
it doesn't really affect my piece in that regard when now
49:45
I'm like depressed or angry or whatever for like weeks on end.
49:49
But I just have those moments where it hits.
49:52
It's like, damn, I think like something will trigger it.
49:55
I start to think about it and you know so and that happens
50:00
from time to time. Yeah, and some of that is
50:04
normal. It's when you are doing it all
50:06
the time, right? And that literally like that
50:09
past oriented thinking is literally linked to depression
50:12
when people spend too much time there and the coulda woulda
50:15
shoulda's and not giving themselves compassion and no
50:20
grace, right. And it sounds like you've used
50:22
it in a healthy way to grow and evolve.
50:26
Yeah, yeah, so funny. I had a conversation with a
50:30
friend of mine this morning. My piece is everything.
50:38
So yeah, there's a part of me because I'm human, like if I
50:41
walk away from something that like deep down I wanted to
50:47
address and maybe address in an aggressive man or really like
50:50
check the situation. Like damn, really?
50:52
I should have, you know, that's just the Brooklyn and the human,
50:56
you know, whatever. But I'm like, yo, I really look
51:00
at the person or the thing that's in front of me.
51:06
I got way more to lose. I got way more at risk.
51:12
This don't mean nothing to me. Go ahead, you got it.
51:16
You got it. You're good.
51:17
You know what I mean? Like that?
51:20
That's how I look at it now. And I, and I was telling my
51:24
friend, I learned a lot of this from friends of mine who used to
51:27
be in the street heavy, like really violent individuals who
51:33
just be like, you got it. I'm good.
51:36
You know what I mean? People who spend time in prison,
51:39
I'm good because they, they, they learned the hard way.
51:43
But it's just way too much, you know, And people who insist and
51:47
which much rather operate in intense, violent, dark emotions,
51:57
You, you have your own healing to do.
51:59
Slam across the bear. Be.
52:03
Be good. I'm gonna be over here with my
52:05
wife and my dog. You know what I mean?
52:08
Like I'm good. You know what I mean?
52:10
That's so peace over everything. You don't like me?
52:14
Cool. All right.
52:16
I'll be all right. That's a them problem, right?
52:19
Like you don't like me? That's a you problem.
52:21
I'm sorry, but not sorry really. Hey, look, and I don't got
52:26
nothing to say about you to anybody.
52:29
I'm good. That's a different type of
52:32
peace. That's a different type of like
52:34
security and just like identity, like you know who you are so
52:39
you're not shaken by those things.
52:42
My wife says it and a lot of people have said this about me.
52:47
So I possess a really quiet strength because it's a lot of
52:52
people, especially where I come from, like everything is on his
52:55
sleeve and it's like you can see the roughness.
52:58
I don't I don't not possess the same edge that they do.
53:03
It's just I don't want to attract the things that I don't
53:07
want. And if I walk around with that
53:10
in front of me that leads before I show up or even when I show
53:15
up, I'm going to get the things that I don't want.
53:19
I'm going to get the fights. I'm going to get the, you know,
53:22
saying that the it's just, it just doesn't make sense.
53:26
Like I don't care for that. I do really don't care for it.
53:30
I want everybody to be have peace, not just me.
53:32
I want everybody to have peace. And there's more than enough
53:35
peace to go around. There's no limit on it.
53:38
But what I, what I love about what you're saying is it
53:41
challenges that match energy, vibe or whatever, like the
53:47
matching energy that people are doing.
53:49
And it's like, that's actually very reactive and you're giving
53:52
away your power. You're letting other people
53:55
control you. You're giving them exactly what
53:57
they want. And you, you can lose yourself
54:00
in that. And you put so much ever.
54:03
It's like you say, you have far more to lose.
54:05
Absolutely. That's not.
54:06
At the end of the day, whatever it is, is you not that serious?
54:09
Like if I put hands on you or your family, Your mom, your
54:13
wife? Yeah, because like if I, if I
54:17
haven't like physically or emotionally violated you or
54:21
anybody that you love, like this could be resolved a certain way.
54:25
If you don't want to resolve it that way, then it doesn't have
54:28
to be resolved. And I could just remove myself
54:31
in a situation. You can sit and stupor in that
54:33
anger and frustration you want, but it's just like you not.
54:37
And again, it's the healing that you have to do.
54:40
And I'm not here to walk around in, you know, help people heal.
54:44
That's not my I do that through music, right?
54:47
I do that when I DJ, But I don't like care to help you get past
54:55
whatever fog that you're living in.
54:57
Like, I don't it's too much going on us out in the world for
55:01
me to add that to my plate. Yeah.
55:04
I love the wisdom that's coming from this and I want you to
55:07
share a little bit more. So like now operating from this
55:10
place of peace and knowing and understanding your calling,
55:14
right? How do you handle maybe mistakes
55:17
differently? And then what helps you to stay
55:20
grounded and to return back to yourself?
55:24
How do I handle mistakes differently?
55:25
That was a very good question. I think the biggest difference
55:28
now is just giving myself grace and giving the and if the
55:35
mistake is coming from somebody else, some, some what everything
55:38
outside of me giving that person grace, right And kind of just
55:42
seeing where they are. I took a over the past year.
55:48
My wife and I both went through this.
55:51
I guess you call it like a self help program, but it's so much
55:54
deeper than that. It's called momentum education.
55:57
OK. We actually have it in DC, but
55:59
we went through the and I just learned so much about myself and
56:04
I learned so much about people. And it's like, you want to get
56:09
angry at somebody not taking into account they're not in the
56:15
same place that you at, right? Like somebody does something and
56:20
in your mind, like this is the dumbest thing.
56:23
Like how could you not? You know, whatever, you know,
56:25
whatever. And we never take into account
56:28
that I don't know who this person is or where they, what
56:34
they got going on, what's going on in their life or where they
56:36
came from or how far behind they are in evolving and growing to
56:41
be a better person. They made a decision based on
56:44
where they are, right? And often times we don't have an
56:48
opportunity to have those conversations, right?
56:50
Because if whatever conflict comes up, we're just going to
56:53
address this thing that created the conflict, right?
56:57
But we're not going to address, we're never going to sit there
57:00
and be like, well, what happened to you when you were eight or
57:03
why? Did you know how you know?
57:06
Did your did your daddy love you?
57:08
Did your mommy? Like we're never going to do
57:09
that. That's not real life.
57:11
Like that's not what happens in the mid.
57:13
But that's how my brain works. Right.
57:15
But that's, but it's not, but it's not in the middle of
57:18
conflict. Yeah, like you did.
57:20
We're just not going to have that conversation.
57:21
And so now that I have the tool, like I think about that.
57:24
And that doesn't mean that I'm void of like in the middle of
57:27
it, like or whatever. I've had situations where like
57:32
recently where I've kind of like, OK, you want to talk about
57:36
this? Oh, no, you want to talk?
57:37
Cool. What?
57:39
What am I going to? You know, what can I do, right?
57:42
I'm showing Grace's first because I'm not even blaming
57:44
them other than they're they're not there.
57:48
Not that they avoid a fault, but I'm knowing that you made a
57:53
decision based on all the information that you have.
57:57
And not only do you not have enough information, you don't
57:59
have proper information, right? I've had this conversation with
58:03
my mother. I've had this conversation with
58:08
myself. When I think back of decisions
58:11
I've made in the past, like I made these decisions based on
58:14
where I was emotionally in life, what the knowledge that I had,
58:18
what I thought about myself, how I view other.
58:21
Like these are decisions. I made those decisions based on
58:24
that. And I would hope that somebody
58:26
who shouldn't give me the same grace some people have, some
58:29
people haven't. And I get it.
58:32
I totally get it, But that's what it is.
58:34
It's really giving people grace. Doesn't mean that they shouldn't
58:39
be held accountable for the things that they've done.
58:42
If I make mistakes doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable
58:44
for the things like that. Now, that's not what I'm
58:46
advocating, right? Decisions have consequences.
58:50
That's that, right? But the grace that is given
58:54
affords me the opportunity to not only forgive, but not hold
58:58
on to, right? Because, great.
59:01
I don't now, I don't believe the responsibility of holding on to
59:05
the anger that you caused me, right?
59:08
The frustration that you call me, the disappointment that you
59:10
caused me, right? Depending on who it is,
59:12
disappointment is reserved for people that you really care for,
59:15
right? Right.
59:16
I don't get disappointed in strangers, right?
59:19
I get angry with them. I get frustrated with them, but
59:21
I don't get disappointed. People I love me, care for, I
59:23
get disappointed with. So.
59:25
So, yeah. I mean, that is the biggest
59:27
thing, the grace aspect. This is giving people grace and
59:30
it's understanding like everybody's not in the same
59:35
space to see things the way that I see them.
59:38
And that's fine, right? And it's, it's OK.
59:41
They'll I pray that they eventually get there.
59:44
And if they don't, right, just just because I walk away from
59:48
something don't mean you tougher than me or stronger than me or I
59:50
can't. The fact that I can walk away
59:53
might suggest that I'm tougher and stronger than you.
59:57
You seem to be weak enough to fall Privy to, you know, your
1:00:01
emotions as opposed to this is kind of like yo, just voicing.
1:00:04
You can voice. I could be in the wrong
1:00:06
completely and you can just voice it to me in a manner that
1:00:10
I can receive it. But if you don't want to do
1:00:12
that, what it what it, what can I do?
1:00:18
That's kind of how that's where I'm at with it right now and how
1:00:20
I handle mistakes from myself and from other people.
1:00:25
It's just about grace. Now granted, I'll probably be
1:00:28
harder on myself than other people because like, you know
1:00:30
better, you shouldn't have done that.
1:00:34
You know better. But I'm human, so I'm going to
1:00:37
make mistakes. That's so good.
1:00:41
There was so much in there. I'm just going to let that sink
1:00:43
in. It's going to let that sink in.
1:00:46
And as I just bring us to a close, I always end with a
1:00:50
signature question. If you could leave the audience
1:00:54
with one powerful truth to help them rise and thrive, what would
1:00:59
it be? This you Discernment and
1:01:04
patience might be the two most valuable things that you ever
1:01:08
have in life. Discernment in patients, you
1:01:12
have to have discernment. That's what's good for you and
1:01:15
what's not. And the patients aspect is I
1:01:19
tell my wife all this you are you approach, you move with
1:01:24
urgency in your process, but you have to have patience with the
1:01:28
results because. Like that?
1:01:33
Just because you're moving fast doesn't mean that the results
1:01:37
are going to come fast because because most of anything that we
1:01:40
do in life is going to require community, right?
1:01:47
Think about how long it took for us to get here for us to do this
1:01:50
interview. Right.
1:01:52
I wasn't going to tell your business.
1:01:54
You were, you were urgent. You were urgent and your
1:01:57
requests, right. But I was just kind of all over
1:02:02
the place and forgetting to do and whatever.
1:02:04
So you know what I mean? And if you really believe in
1:02:07
something and you really believe you, this is what you hope you
1:02:10
when you believe, this is the space you want to be like, yes,
1:02:12
be urgent in your process, be urgent and your request, be
1:02:15
urgent in your actions. But you have to be patient with
1:02:18
the results because we're not working on our time, working on
1:02:21
God's time, right? God has to prepare somebody else
1:02:25
to receive the thing that you're providing for them to be like,
1:02:28
yes, he has to make them open to receive the thing that you.
1:02:32
So you just got to be patient and it's hard.
1:02:35
I I'm not saying it's easy, I'm saying it like it's easy, but it
1:02:39
is not right. You can say that because you've
1:02:42
learned it. I've learned it right.
1:02:44
But you got to stay urgent and aggressive with your process,
1:02:49
but just be patient with the results.
1:02:51
They're gonna come. They're gonna come.
1:02:54
That's so good. And that's actually something
1:02:56
that I've learned from this platform and what you're saying
1:02:59
I've learned to just flow and it's gonna be everything it
1:03:03
needed to be. And so I've just learned like, I
1:03:06
didn't stress you out about it. I was just like, OK, so when you
1:03:09
said I saw you popped up in my inbox, I said he didn't.
1:03:13
Winning schedule. We ready.
1:03:15
It's go time. It's it's a everything is
1:03:18
everything in proper timing. And yeah, and I'm someone who I
1:03:22
don't like to waste people's time.
1:03:24
I don't like to, you know, I because I know how I am when I
1:03:26
put a request in, ideally I want it to be like immediate, but
1:03:29
I'll just understand. Again, just giving people grace
1:03:32
like it doesn't work that way. Sometimes you might miss
1:03:37
something. Maybe it wasn't for you, right?
1:03:41
We, we put so much value on the things that we miss and we very
1:03:47
rarely think about the idea. Like maybe I think that you miss
1:03:50
wasn't for you. Like not all opportunities are
1:03:54
for you, correct? So just like, OK, give yourself
1:04:01
grace. Hey, maybe I dropped.
1:04:02
Maybe I did drop the ball on. OK, lesson learned.
1:04:06
I'm not going to drop the ball on the next one.
1:04:08
Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
1:04:11
Well, listen, it's been an absolute pleasure to have you
1:04:14
here. And there was so much in what
1:04:17
you said that I know it's going to resonate with a lot of
1:04:21
people. And for those of you listening,
1:04:23
if this resonated with you, I want you to sit with this for a
1:04:26
moment. I want you to reflect where in
1:04:29
your life are you striving to get everything right instead of
1:04:32
allowing yourself to receive grace?
1:04:35
And then I want you to take action.
1:04:37
This week. I want you to release 1
1:04:39
expectation that was never yours to carry.
1:04:43
And then I want to affirm you. I am not defined by my
1:04:47
performance. I am grounded in grace and that
1:04:51
is enough. So if you haven't already and
1:04:55
this really spoke to you, make sure you subscribe, share this
1:04:58
with someone who needs it and stay connected at
1:05:01
www.evolvefordoctorjnicole.com. Now, DJCEO, if the people want
1:05:07
to stay in touch with you, where can they find you?
1:05:10
How can they have some of the style and performance
1:05:13
experience? Yes, yes.
1:05:15
Well, I encourage, I encourage, I encourage everyone to go to
1:05:18
the website. I am DJ ceo.com subscribe to the
1:05:22
newsletter. You know I put out a newsletter
1:05:26
monthly, sometimes bi monthly depending on things that come
1:05:29
in, but usually monthly. Also.
1:05:31
You can follow me on Instagram at DJCEO.
1:05:33
It's got simple TikTok is at Original DJCEO because you know
1:05:38
people I did Jack in my swag at Original DJCEO.
1:05:45
There's only two places I really from social media that I care
1:05:47
about is Instagram and TikTok and then.
1:05:50
Of course the. Website, yes, because the
1:05:52
website will take you to everything.
1:05:53
That's why I always say go to the web.
1:05:55
Website will put you on to my social media pages, my
1:05:59
SoundCloud page where you can hear my mixes, you'll know where
1:06:02
I'm DJ ING from popping up in your city, all of that.
1:06:05
So go to the websites and that will take you everywhere you
1:06:09
want. OK.
1:06:11
And if you don't know, you can catch him every year faithfully
1:06:14
during how we're homecoming doing 2, maybe even three sets
1:06:19
in different places across. The city.
1:06:23
I've met in a day, though. In one day I'm.
1:06:27
Being intentional, I think I might, I might scale back.
1:06:31
I might keep it to like just three sets this year because I
1:06:33
want to hang out with y'all. Like I don't get to hang out
1:06:35
with y'all at all. Like I saw you in between, like
1:06:39
like, hey, quick. It's a blessing to be a good
1:06:42
man. I don't I, you know, I'm saying
1:06:43
I don't, I don't, I don't knock it at all.
1:06:46
But and and hey, at the end of the day, my homecoming
1:06:50
experience ends up being completely free.
1:06:52
So thank you to all that book me.
1:06:53
I appreciate you. That's real.
1:06:56
That's real, but it's it's it's different being able to create
1:06:59
the experience. So it goes so much deeper than
1:07:02
that. So thank you for being you.
1:07:05
Keep operating in your calling. And you know I got to pull up on
1:07:08
you at least one time. So if I don't see you until
1:07:12
homecoming, I'm going to see you, right?
1:07:15
I'm going. To see you.
1:07:15
Thank you so much for having. All right, so thank you all
1:07:18
again for tuning in for another episode of Rising Thigh with
1:07:21
Doctor J Nicole, where we rise in faith and thrive in purpose.
1:07:25
See you next time.