Latest / All About The Joy / From Foster Care to PhDs: Dr. Dashia’s Journey of Radical Resilience

Transcript

From Foster Care to PhDs: Dr. Dashia’s Journey of Radical Resilience · All About The Joy

• 0:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
• 0:06
  Carmen Lezeth: This is the private lounge.
• 0:08
  Carmen Lezeth: We have Mario back in the house.
• 0:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey, mario.
• 0:12
  Cynthia Lopez: Hey.
• 0:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia's here.
• 0:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Hello, cynthia, rick Costa, blessings, how you doing, and our guest today I'm so excited is Dr Dashia.
• 0:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Did I say your name right?
• 0:22
  Dr. Dashia: Dasha it's.
• 0:23
  Maurio Dawson: Dasha, dasha, dasha.
• 0:25
  Maurio Dawson: I'm sorry.
• 0:26
  Carmen Lezeth: See, I've been saying I do this every time with all our guests.
• 0:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I just am horrible.
• 0:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I am so sorry, but it is such a pleasure to finally get to meet you.
• 0:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I always like to tell people how we connected and we were both in a grant making funding thingamajig I don't even know what the right thing to call it, but I made a huge mistake Everybody in our audience knows because that day that I decided to quit, I came out on the live show and I'm like I had to quit the grant making.
• 1:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I was so upset.
• 1:02
  Carmen Lezeth: But what was beautiful about the process and I'm so grateful to you is when I decided to leave.
• 1:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I left a note on the bulletin board.
• 1:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that what it is, the bulletin board?
• 1:13
  Carmen Lezeth: To let everyone know that I was walking away and that I wished everyone well or whatever.
• 1:17
  Carmen Lezeth: And you were one of the first people who reached out to me and you were so comforting.
• 1:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You were so comforting, you were so kind, and now I realize that's your whole brand.
• 1:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Like you empower people.
• 1:28
  Carmen Lezeth: You are someone who is so passionate about help, lifting people up.
• 1:33
  Carmen Lezeth: So welcome to the show, and I just I just want to say I'm so grateful to meet you.
• 1:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm so excited.
• 1:40
  Dr. Dashia: Thank you, I'm excited to be here.
• 1:42
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, when I saw your note I was like, oh my God, I know that must have been difficult to do, but so brave and I admire that a lot.
• 1:51
  Dr. Dashia: It's so brave, you know to walk authentically in where you are in life, and so I had to reach out.
• 1:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Can you tell us a little bit?
• 2:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, your story is amazing and all of them are going to ask you questions after I get off my little, you know, beginning thing of like gushing and loving and whatever.
• 2:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But can you give us a little bit about your story that is so powerful?
• 2:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You know the whole 72 and your PhDs.
• 2:18
  Carmen Lezeth: Can you just give us the little synopsis of that?
• 2:22
  Dr. Dashia: Sure, so I am just a regular girl from the city of Miami.
• 2:28
  Dr. Dashia: I grew up in the project only child.
• 2:31
  Dr. Dashia: Well, so I thought until I was 32.
• 2:33
  Cynthia Lopez: We've been there, Welcome welcome.
• 2:41
  Dr. Dashia: Raised by my grandmother because, you know, the crack epidemic, the AIDS epidemic, had really kind of overtaken my mom and I was raised by my grandma and when my grandmother passed I ended up in foster care, navigated through 72 foster homes until I got out on my own.
• 3:01
  Dr. Dashia: I got out on my own.
• 3:05
  Carmen Lezeth: Can I interrupt you there for a moment?
• 3:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Because I just want to express, as someone who's also experienced a tiny bit of what you went through someone going through 72 foster homes as a child, that is first of all.
• 3:19
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not normal for any child to go through foster care Number one, but 72.
• 3:26
  Dr. Dashia: I want to just throw that out there to make sure the emphasis on that.
• 3:28
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, 72 homes is is a lot.
• 3:29
  Dr. Dashia: I must say I ran away from some of those homes, um, because you could just feel the vibes from the moment you walk in, like, yeah, I'm not gonna be here long, I'm going to school and I'm never coming back, right.
• 3:41
  Dr. Dashia: Um, you know, and some of them were like that and some of them I like that, and some of them I felt like I had to escape, you know, from from those homes, because there were things that happened to me in foster care that never happened in my home, at home.
• 3:53
  Dr. Dashia: You know, I feel like, honestly, the most trauma probably happened in foster care.
• 3:59
  Dr. Dashia: I mean, sometimes, you know, that's how it ends up being, especially when you go through so many homes.
• 4:04
  Dr. Dashia: But I didn't know.
• 4:05
  Dr. Dashia: I went through that many homes until I aged out, right, and I went and I got my, my, my blue jacket this is what they call did your file and I saw it's like having an outer body experience reading about the life that you live and I'm from someone else's perspective, right, so I'm reading about my life from multiple people's perspectives, and it was.
• 4:31
  Dr. Dashia: It was interesting.
• 4:32
  Dr. Dashia: I learned a lot about, a lot about myself at that time, and I've just been on this journey to heal and not just heal me, but, you know, to help other women who have gone through even just a snippet of the things that I've gone through.
• 4:46
  Dr. Dashia: So that's my goal.
• 4:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm going to, I'm going to, I swear, I'm going to stop talking Like I almost wanted you all not to come on the show so I could.
• 4:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I know I am, though I'm going to be really good, Cause you're all here.
• 4:57
  Carmen Lezeth: You were all supposed to tell me we can't make it, so I can just be with her by myself.
• 5:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I just wanted just one more thing, though.
• 5:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So here's the thing, though you, you went through all that and you have two PhDs, you don't just have one, and it's so important and this is what I'm going to say is the last part, and I'm gonna let my, my, my people do their thing is just this I don't want to get upset or sad or whatever, but we always hear about the tragic, horrible, sad stories of people who don't.
• 5:32
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what you see in the movies.
• 5:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You see all the bad things.
• 5:35
  Carmen Lezeth: We don't hear about all the wonderful people who make it through and excel anyways, and I feel like part of what I learned about you and just reading all about you on your website is we don't lift up enough people who make it through and then become so successful.
• 5:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm just so grateful to meet you.
• 5:53
  Carmen Lezeth: All right, go ahead.
• 5:54
  Maurio Dawson: Okay, I got to chime in on top of that.
• 5:57
  Maurio Dawson: Okay, For most people in America who don't have PhDs.
• 6:02
  Maurio Dawson: In America who don't have PhDs, only 3% of Black women in the United States only have one.
• 6:18
  Maurio Dawson: Phd.
• 6:18
  Maurio Dawson: Can we just applaud you for having multiple PhDs your undergrad plus your master's degrees and I heard that you said if they would have kept paying, you would have got a law degree.
• 6:28
  Maurio Dawson: Is that right?
• 6:29
  Dr. Dashia: Or I would have kept going.
• 6:31
  Dr. Dashia: Yes, I know, that's right.
• 6:33
  Maurio Dawson: So what I'm saying to you is that you are truly an overcomer in every facet of the word.
• 6:42
  Maurio Dawson: You are dynamic, you are phenomenal, you are chef's kids.
• 6:49
  Maurio Dawson: God bless you.
• 6:50
  Maurio Dawson: You're amazing.
• 6:51
  Dr. Dashia: Thank you, I appreciate that.
• 6:54
  Maurio Dawson: Receive it, take it in.
• 6:56
  Maurio Dawson: I do?
• 6:56
  Dr. Dashia: I received that and you know, that's something that I'm working on.
• 6:59
  Dr. Dashia: I really am intentionally working on receiving.
• 7:04
  Dr. Dashia: I really am intentionally working on receiving.
• 7:06
  Dr. Dashia: Receiving love, receiving attention and, you know, praise, like that has been a struggle for me, honestly, and so I'm really doing my best to like really receive it and live in that moment, because that has been really that's been a thing for me.
• 7:23
  Cynthia Lopez: I think that's hard for a lot of people.
• 7:24
  Cynthia Lopez: In general, we're not used to taking compliments and good things happening to us because the world we live in is just a tailspin, but especially someone who's been in the foster system and 72 of them at that you see the good and you see bad, and it's so hard to take any type of compliment.
• 7:50
  Dr. Dashia: so yeah, thank you.
• 7:53
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, it's.
• 7:54
  Dr. Dashia: It's hard.
• 7:54
  Dr. Dashia: I didn't realize it.
• 7:56
  Dr. Dashia: I think I I begin to realize it in my marriage, in my previous marriage, where it's like, oh, you don't really, you don't ever trust that people really love you.
• 8:05
  Dr. Dashia: Like you don't trust that people mean what they say when they compliment you or when they, and you don't see yourself how other people see you.
• 8:15
  Dr. Dashia: Because I would like I, I was in this business and I would walk into certain rooms and people would be like, oh, oh, my God, can I take a picture with you?
• 8:23
  Dr. Dashia: And I'd be like what's wrong with y'all?
• 8:25
  Dr. Dashia: I'm just me, right, and I didn't understand that.
• 8:28
  Dr. Dashia: And it took someone to tell me that she's like, it offended me that you didn't realize who you were and I was like, oh, yep, I agree, I agree with I.
• 8:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I I love on women who are so brilliant and amazing.
• 8:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Y'all saw me with the other interviews we had and I'm inspired by you and I.
• 8:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I would get offended if you tried to push it away, but but you didn't you.
• 9:00
  Carmen Lezeth: You know you're taking it in as best you can.
• 9:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I got you, but you are so nice to meet people that and I say this respectfully most people don't impress me that much.
• 9:11
  Carmen Lezeth: They just don't.
• 9:14
  Maurio Dawson: Excuse you.
• 9:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't say you, Mario.
• 9:20
  Maurio Dawson: Okay, but I'm just making sure you ain't talking about me.
• 9:22
  Maurio Dawson: I just got to make sure you clear the air.
• 9:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's pretty.
• 9:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, we're going to do the gushing for like another five minutes, we're going to let Rick jump in on it and then we go ask you some questions about what you do.
• 9:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, go ahead, rick.
• 9:36
  Rick Costa: So, after watching many, many YouTube videos of yours and many, many thread videos of yours and Instagram videos of yours, I'm like you know what?
• 9:47
  Rick Costa: This is the classic example of you cannot keep a good woman down.
• 9:52
  Rick Costa: You might knock me down, but I ain't staying down.
• 9:55
  Rick Costa: You always get up, no matter what, and you have been through it.
• 9:59
  Rick Costa: What I'm like, no, what, and that happened to you.
• 10:04
  Rick Costa: I'm like, oh my God.
• 10:08
  Rick Costa: But you get up every single time and that alone is enough to make me say, wow, like you are amazing.
• 10:13
  Dr. Dashia: Wow, thank you so much.
• 10:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Were you expecting all that?
• 10:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I was not.
• 10:19
  Dr. Dashia: I didn't know what to expect.
• 10:20
  Dr. Dashia: But I definitely was not expecting that, and if I could blush I'd be super glad.
• 10:26
  Rick Costa: You blushing.
• 10:27
  Maurio Dawson: We blush.
• 10:29
  Maurio Dawson: It's just a little darker, but we blush.
• 10:30
  Maurio Dawson: Look at that them cheeks is beaming.
• 10:34
  Dr. Dashia: I really appreciate that, though, and I am taking it in, because it's those things that, like on those days when you don't have and I teach this to people it's have and I teach this to people it's so crazy because I teach this to people and when I always tell them I'm teaching you, but I'm really talking to me, like on those days I have this jar here that's called count, that that says counter blessings, and I just put sticky notes in it every day, something that I'm grateful for, I'm proud of myself for, or something, because you don't feel like that every day, right, and when people do give me compliments or say I've helped them in any way, I screenshot it, I put it in a little folder, because on those days when I'm not feeling like Dacia and I'm not feeling like I am who I am, I use those things to remind me so that I don't go too deep into that and I'm able to use, you know, the great things that other people have said to help pull myself out of it when I don't have it in me to pull myself out of it.
• 11:35
  Dr. Dashia: So, thank you guys, I appreciate that.
• 11:39
  Maurio Dawson: You're the quintessential example of I can show you better than I can tell you.
• 11:45
  Dr. Dashia: You know, that's kind of sort of my motto.
• 11:47
  Dr. Dashia: That's what those two PhDs are about.
• 11:52
  Dr. Dashia: They weren't for me.
• 11:54
  Dr. Dashia: And I tell people all the time, like I have seven college degrees, right, and people ask why you got so many degrees.
• 12:03
  Dr. Dashia: You got two bachelors, two masters, a specialist, two phds, and I'm like you know what for one I was.
• 12:10
  Dr. Dashia: I'm really good at school, like I, because I like learning.
• 12:14
  Dr. Dashia: It was the one thing that my grandmother, when I was six my grandmother, bought me an encyclopedia set.
• 12:19
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, you were gonna learn.
• 12:20
  Dr. Dashia: If you didn't do anything else, you didn't care what was going on.
• 12:23
  Dr. Dashia: The little man would come to the house every month and bring another encyclopedia and get his payment.
• 12:28
  Dr. Dashia: And that's how it was.
• 12:29
  Dr. Dashia: Like the insurance people Like it was a plan and I had to read certain a certain number of pages every day and write a certain number of things every day.
• 12:40
  Dr. Dashia: I was in the spelling bees and like the one thing my grandmother said to me, she said there's a lot going on around you.
• 12:47
  Dr. Dashia: I know you've seen a lot, but if you could just finish school, you can make it out of here.
• 12:52
  Dr. Dashia: And so that's the thing I held on to, because I did really well in school I always excelled and school was kind of easy for me, but it was an escape for me as well.
• 13:05
  Dr. Dashia: You know, it was that place I knew that I was good at, I didn't second guess myself in that area, and so I just did it.
• 13:15
  Dr. Dashia: But when it came to my college degrees, it was like oh, you guys already made this, created this whole narrative, a story what my life is going to be.
• 13:25
  Dr. Dashia: So I'm going to show you I'm going to show you better than I can tell you.
• 13:30
  Dr. Dashia: And so they weren't really about me.
• 13:35
  Dr. Dashia: None of those degrees were about me.
• 13:37
  Dr. Dashia: It was about saying hey, see my worth, see my value, see, you know that I am a good person, a person worthy of love.
• 13:44
  Dr. Dashia: It really wasn't about me you know?
• 13:49
  Carmen Lezeth: when did you decide, or when did you know that you were?
• 13:52
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you talk a lot about purpose.
• 13:54
  Carmen Lezeth: When did you start that focus?
• 13:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Was there a light bulb moment or was it something gradual?
• 14:03
  Dr. Dashia: it was.
• 14:03
  Dr. Dashia: I remember it so clearly.
• 14:05
  Dr. Dashia: I think I was like 29 and I was a principal.
• 14:08
  Dr. Dashia: I was the youngest principal in my county um of course you were of course.
• 14:16
  Dr. Dashia: I was the youngest teacher, you know in my in the state I think.
• 14:20
  Dr. Dashia: I started teaching like full-fledged teaching with my certification at 18, because I did dual enrollment in high school and I had a bachelor's.
• 14:28
  Dr. Dashia: And so I was, I was teaching, and and it was like around 29.
• 14:34
  Dr. Dashia: I was probably in my second or third year being a principal and I just did not feel fulfilled.
• 14:40
  Dr. Dashia: I was not happy.
• 14:41
  Dr. Dashia: I had three kids.
• 14:43
  Dr. Dashia: Fulfilled, I was not happy.
• 14:50
  Dr. Dashia: I had three kids.
• 14:50
  Dr. Dashia: I was in the process of adopting my former foster sister's daughter and so and having my first grandchild at 29.
• 14:57
  Dr. Dashia: Wow, and so I just I didn't feel I was not happy.
• 15:02
  Dr. Dashia: I did not feel happy.
• 15:04
  Dr. Dashia: I didn't feel fulfilled.
• 15:05
  Dr. Dashia: It's like what looked like success to everybody else and what I should have been feeling.
• 15:10
  Dr. Dashia: I think I was engaged at the time.
• 15:12
  Dr. Dashia: I just did not.
• 15:13
  Dr. Dashia: I just didn't feel happy and I was like it has to be more to life than just this.
• 15:20
  Dr. Dashia: Like I'm still financially struggling.
• 15:23
  Dr. Dashia: You know, I got a nice car, I got a nice house, but like I still nobody ever taught me financial literacy.
• 15:29
  Dr. Dashia: So at that point I'm still making crazy money decisions, right, so I'm stressed out about that and I just and then my oldest daughter was like it was a lot happening and I just I just said, god, you know you got to, something got to happen, and I don't mean to get religious, but that's where I had to go to.
• 15:46
  Dr. Dashia: So I had to figure it out.
• 15:50
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to apologize for going religious.
• 15:51
  Carmen Lezeth: We have a pastor in the house over there.
• 15:57
  Dr. Dashia: I grew up as a Jehovah witness, and so it's weird, because I was like I had already made the decision oh, I'm not going to heaven.
• 16:05
  Dr. Dashia: They talk about 144,000.
• 16:07
  Dr. Dashia: I do too many bad things, I'm never going to make it.
• 16:09
  Dr. Dashia: I'm never going to make it, so I have written it off.
• 16:13
  Dr. Dashia: I have written it off, but you know, when you go through foster care, you go to a lot of different churches.
• 16:19
  Dr. Dashia: You experience whatever they believe in.
• 16:21
  Dr. Dashia: That's where you're going, and so I experience religion on almost every level, almost every level.
• 16:29
  Dr. Dashia: Um, and I'm grateful, though, for that, because then I was able to make a decision for me, not just what someone else believed.
• 16:36
  Dr. Dashia: And now I grew up that way and that's what it is.
• 16:38
  Dr. Dashia: Um, and so I just went to my creator and say you know, this is not working.
• 16:43
  Dr. Dashia: I don't know what's happening, but I don't feel like how I think I'm supposed to feel.
• 16:50
  Dr. Dashia: I'm not feeling it.
• 16:51
  Dr. Dashia: I just remember, like just starting to, I've always journaled.
• 16:55
  Dr. Dashia: Journal was my way.
• 16:57
  Dr. Dashia: You know, as an only child, you ain't really got much.
• 17:00
  Dr. Dashia: You got a pen and a paper, and you, you know that's what you do and teddy bears.
• 17:04
  Dr. Dashia: You got a pen and a paper, that's what you do and teddy bears.
• 17:06
  Dr. Dashia: And so I journaled and I just remember journaling and asking questions and writing answers and not feeling like those answers were my answers they were definitely my questions, but not feeling like those were my answers.
• 17:25
  Dr. Dashia: And it took me down this really long journey and at the end of it I like during the journey, I didn't know what I was doing.
• 17:31
  Dr. Dashia: I just knew I was just trying to write my way out of wherever I was.
• 17:34
  Dr. Dashia: And at the end of it, when I look back and I was like oh my God, I feel like I'm doing something that I'm supposed to be doing.
• 17:43
  Dr. Dashia: I left the school board.
• 17:44
  Dr. Dashia: People thought I was crazy, like you're going to leave a for sure job and start a nonprofit and you're going to write grants and do this.
• 17:52
  Dr. Dashia: And I'm like this is what I'm going to do.
• 17:57
  Dr. Dashia: They're like you're crazy and I'm like, well, this is what I'm going to do.
• 18:00
  Dr. Dashia: And the first grant I wrote I got it was $700,000 and I wrote it sitting on my bed and I'm like yeah, this is what we're going to do can you write?
• 18:11
  Cynthia Lopez: a grant on me?
• 18:12
  Cynthia Lopez: You know a game on me, I mean you know a brother leader.
• 18:16
  Cynthia Lopez: You're going to be a good leader.
• 18:20
  Maurio Dawson: But they say if you don't know, you put yourself around people who do.
• 18:24
  Maurio Dawson: Look, we are formally introduced.
• 18:29
  Cynthia Lopez: Mario, mario.
• 18:49
  Carmen Lezeth: That's how you make the connection, though that's what you got, but yeah, that's that's kind of how that purpose journey started and did that start.
• 18:54
  Dr. Dashia: Then she, she's on purpose, or that was the general idea.
• 18:56
  Dr. Dashia: So I just started really saying she's on purpose.
• 18:57
  Dr. Dashia: Okay, it was like this scene that I would just say and people would be, you know, just in regular conversation I'd be like, yep, because she's on purpose, that worked out.
• 19:07
  Dr. Dashia: Because she's on purpose and it just kind of stuck.
• 19:10
  Dr. Dashia: And, um, I think I officially made she's on purpose and it just kind of stuck and I officially made she's on Purpose like a business like 2017 or 16 or something like that.
• 19:24
  Maurio Dawson: I have a question, I know, since you lost your grandmother at such an early age, I know what is your fondest memory of your grandmother.
• 19:34
  Maurio Dawson: What do you remember?
• 19:35
  Maurio Dawson: What sticks with you?
• 19:36
  Maurio Dawson: Oh, wow.
• 19:38
  Dr. Dashia: So my grandmother was super funny.
• 19:40
  Dr. Dashia: So what I remember is every day coming home from school, my grandmother was like an avid card player.
• 19:50
  Maurio Dawson: Like Bedwiz.
• 19:52
  Dr. Dashia: Spades and Jen Rami.
• 19:54
  Dr. Dashia: And she would be.
• 19:55
  Dr. Dashia: I would come in the door from school and she would have the card.
• 19:58
  Dr. Dashia: She would already be at the table with the card set up.
• 20:01
  Dr. Dashia: She's like sit down, we're playing Jen Rami and we would play.
• 20:04
  Cynthia Lopez: Jen.
• 20:04
  Dr. Dashia: Rami, and then every night at 7 o'clock we would watch Wheel of Fortune and she would bet me a quarter who could solve the puzzle faster?
• 20:14
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, okay, and so that was our thing and I'm like I'm gonna solve this.
• 20:19
  Dr. Dashia: Like she would always beat me, always beat me, but she still give me a little quarter here and there.
• 20:27
  Dr. Dashia: Sometimes she felt bad for me, but yeah, that it was.
• 20:31
  Dr. Dashia: It was I only beat her one time and I would second guess myself and be like did I really beat you or did you let me beat you?
• 20:39
  Dr. Dashia: And she's like no, you really did it that time.
• 20:43
  Dr. Dashia: But one time that I could count.
• 20:45
  Dr. Dashia: But that was like our thing.
• 20:47
  Dr. Dashia: You know, I was her oldest grandchild, I'm the first grandchild, so that was really like our thing.
• 20:55
  Dr. Dashia: Jim Rommie and Will of Fortune oh my God.
• 21:00
  Maurio Dawson: That's special.
• 21:01
  Maurio Dawson: But see and you also talked about her getting those encyclopedias- Listen, I had an encyclopedia and I had a typewriter.
• 21:11
  Dr. Dashia: But encyclopedia set and a typewriter Nobody had typewriters back then.
• 21:14
  Dr. Dashia: Well, none of the kids you know.
• 21:18
  Dr. Dashia: The adults were the typewriters, but the kids.
• 21:22
  Dr. Dashia: You're coming home in elementary school and she's like, yep, read this many pages from the encyclopedia and the atlas and I need you to type up this.
• 21:31
  Dr. Dashia: And I'm like, okay, so she was teaching me a whole bunch of skills all in one.
• 21:39
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, that's exactly what you want.
• 21:40
  Cynthia Lopez: Yeah, go ahead, cynthia so you said that you have seven degrees.
• 21:46
  Cynthia Lopez: Could you tell us what you taught?
• 21:48
  Dr. Dashia: us in sure so my first bachelor's is in Sure, so my first bachelor's is in elementary education, with the ESOL endorsement, and not that I speak a lick of any other language, but that was the thing.
• 22:00
  Dr. Dashia: That was the thing.
• 22:01
  Dr. Dashia: And then I have a bachelor's in reading.
• 22:05
  Dr. Dashia: I have a master's in reading, a master's in exceptional education for students of varying exceptionalities, and then I have a specialist's in exceptional education for students of varying exceptionalities, and then I have a specialist degree in varying exceptionalities.
• 22:18
  Dr. Dashia: And then I have a PhD in educational leadership with a specialization in special education.
• 22:28
  Dr. Dashia: And then I have a PhD in organizational leadership with a specialization in nonprofits.
• 22:36
  Cynthia Lopez: Come on now.
• 22:37
  Dr. Dashia: Amazing.
• 22:38
  Carmen Lezeth: God, I feel.
• 22:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I feel so inspired, but also I'm like I need to do some more stuff.
• 22:45
  Carmen Lezeth: We got to step it up a little bit.
• 22:47
  Cynthia Lopez: I feel a little lazy.
• 22:52
  Dr. Dashia: Exactly.
• 22:52
  Dr. Dashia: You know what's weird is?
• 22:54
  Dr. Dashia: I don't really use any of those degrees right now, but you kind of.
• 22:59
  Dr. Dashia: I mean I have phd.
• 23:02
  Dr. Dashia: It helps, you know, especially on my books and things like that.
• 23:06
  Dr. Dashia: But like actively working in the field of like not even using it yeah, but it's kind of like, why do?
• 23:15
  Carmen Lezeth: we learn why do we learn math?
• 23:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, it's not like we're all sitting there every day doing five plus five equals ten, but what we do learn is logic, and that's what I think people don't understand that even though you're not working in the field that you specialized in, you learned a lot, and all those skills are coming through every day.
• 23:34
  Carmen Lezeth: And I have to say I'm like today I must've said it five times I'm like I need to get home on time Cause I am interviewing a PhD person.
• 23:42
  Carmen Lezeth: This is a doctor, okay, this is a real person, and so it's working.
• 23:48
  Carmen Lezeth: It worked for me Well yeah so yeah, no, no, we're not
• 23:54
  Maurio Dawson: that was actually early I'm late.
• 23:59
  Rick Costa: I'm always late, so he was on it today, so so, first of all, I need somebody to hurry up and make a movie about your life, because people need that part get angela mass and then, after they do that, like really like analyze, like wow, like, oh, like Mario said, overcomer.
• 24:18
  Rick Costa: But the question I have now too, is your life was so chaotic, you know, especially as a kid and when you're a kid you don't have control, like it just happens to you what are you going to do?
• 24:28
  Rick Costa: Do you feel like school because it's structured, it's a state place, they know, by going to do nothing to you, feel like school because it's structured, it's a safe place?
• 24:34
  Rick Costa: Ain't nobody going to do nothing to you there?
• 24:35
  Rick Costa: Hopefully that happens in real life.
• 24:38
  Rick Costa: Do you feel like that helped you a lot as far as getting the great education that you had, and that it felt safe?
• 24:46
  Rick Costa: So you felt like I'm good at this and I'm going to really really do good at this because this is a safe place.
• 24:50
  Rick Costa: And you know what I'm trying to say.
• 24:52
  Rick Costa: I did.
• 24:52
  Dr. Dashia: I felt like to really really do good at this, because this is a safe place and you know, you know what I'm trying to say I did.
• 24:58
  Dr. Dashia: I felt like school really was that place, right it?
• 25:01
  Dr. Dashia: was a place I knew I was guaranteed to get a meal, I was guaranteed to have people that like poured into me positively.
• 25:08
  Dr. Dashia: You know nobody was talking about what's picking at me, you know, at least not the, the, the teachers and things about my mom being on drugs or seeing my mom or where they saw her.
• 25:20
  Dr. Dashia: You know I wasn't worried about that in that space.
• 25:22
  Dr. Dashia: And then, honestly, in elementary I have this principal, um, her name was Dr Young.
• 25:29
  Dr. Dashia: She's passed away.
• 25:31
  Dr. Dashia: God rest her soul.
• 25:32
  Dr. Dashia: But Dr Young really took me under her wing and I remember she asked my grandmother I was in the fifth grade, I was doing spelling bees and they had me in the spelling bees at school and then we had to go to, like the regionals were at Berry University, which happened to be the college I end up going to, and I won there.
• 26:01
  Dr. Dashia: And then we went to Washington and so she, like you know, took me under her wing and during that process and she asked my grandmother she's like, can she spend the summer with me during that process?
• 26:13
  Dr. Dashia: And she asked my grandmother she's like, can she spend the summer with me?
• 26:20
  Dr. Dashia: I remember in fifth grade and she took me to her house for the summer and it's the first time like, well, I have seen out of the projects before, but not like this.
• 26:26
  Dr. Dashia: It was like a, you know, a predominantly minority neighborhood, big houses.
• 26:33
  Dr. Dashia: You know, I grew up in Miami so this was like down south, for like an hour away from us, which was like in our mind where the rich people live, where the rich people live.
• 26:42
  Dr. Dashia: So I saw like homes and I saw like people living in huge homes that looked like me right, nice neighborhoods.
• 26:51
  Dr. Dashia: And she took me to all these things that summer.
• 26:55
  Dr. Dashia: I remember, and that was the first time I remember saying, oh, I can have a different life.
• 27:00
  Dr. Dashia: Like that gave me hope, that let me see something else different.
• 27:06
  Dr. Dashia: And she really kind of kept me, kept me close right Even when she left the school and I went off to middle school.
• 27:12
  Dr. Dashia: Kept me close right Even when she left the school and I went off to middle school.
• 27:15
  Dr. Dashia: And we lost touch, of course, when I went off into foster care.
• 27:17
  Dr. Dashia: But you know the world is so.
• 27:19
  Dr. Dashia: It's so interesting because I ended up meeting her best friend's son, getting engaged to her best friend's son, and her best friend was a teacher and I ended up become, when I became a teacher, like maybe like six or seven years into my career, I ended up being a teacher at the school where she was principal at.
• 27:47
  Dr. Dashia: So, she was my boss, she was my principal and I was engaged to her best friend's son.
• 27:51
  Dr. Dashia: So it just bought everything and I talked to her and I'm engaged to her restaurant son and so it just bought everything full and I and I and I talked to her and I'm like you don't even understand how so much of my success right now I owe you because she was really one of the.
• 28:04
  Dr. Dashia: Her and my fourth grade teacher were really the only people that kind of really took me under their wing to show me different things.
• 28:11
  Dr. Dashia: But her you know more because she took me for a whole summer, you know, and and really like I, I saw and I went to so many things that I had never seen before.
• 28:23
  Dr. Dashia: She took me to a ballet, she took me to all types of things that I can never get out of my memory.
• 28:29
  Dr. Dashia: Um, but she was the one where I knew like, okay, I can, I can, I can have a life outside of what I see day to day.
• 28:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But when did you decide to write those books?
• 28:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Who they are, who are they for?
• 28:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And let's talk more about your business Now.
• 28:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Let's talk about how your whole story has now brought us to the place where you are inspiring and helping others to be their best selves, you know gotcha, so she so.
• 28:59
  Dr. Dashia: So, girl, you're the shit.
• 29:00
  Dr. Dashia: You wouldn't be able to read that because it's not even out yet.
• 29:02
  Dr. Dashia: Um, when is that coming out?
• 29:05
  Dr. Dashia: That is, man, that day's guy moved so much, but it'll be out before the year is over you.
• 29:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what we're going to have to bring you back when that comes out so we can promote that book on that day.
• 29:18
  Carmen Lezeth: So let's talk about your other book then, is that?
• 29:21
  Dr. Dashia: available.
• 29:22
  Dr. Dashia: Yes, so, girl, you're the Shit is actually going to be my eighth, I think, published book.
• 29:29
  Dr. Dashia: So the first book that I actually wrote is cause she's on purpose and it was really just like a guide, a kind of self-assessment, to help women under like kind of figure out where they are and understanding.
• 29:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that on?
• 29:44
  Carmen Lezeth: But that's on your website that you can.
• 29:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, that was on there, okay, so I'm not crazy people.
• 29:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, you're not.
• 29:51
  Carmen Lezeth: There is a book, okay.
• 29:57
  Dr. Dashia: Girl, you're the yeah, you're not.
• 29:58
  Dr. Dashia: And the other the girl, you're the shit book that's on there for pre-sale as well.
• 29:59
  Dr. Dashia: So that's probably why you spotted it.
• 30:01
  Carmen Lezeth: So everyone should go on and purchase that.
• 30:04
  Dr. Dashia: Yes, okay, yes, and so everybody that actually purchases that book before it is um, officially published, they'll, they'll get a form so their information, they'll get like a spot where they can put their name and their business or whatever, and it'll be published in the back of the book so that people will be able.
• 30:21
  Dr. Dashia: So it's kind of like free advertising for those, for those people, well, and that's also at the website.
• 30:27
  Carmen Lezeth: It's going to be dr.
• 30:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Dr.
• 30:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm gonna mess up your name again.
• 30:30
  Carmen Lezeth: It's okay, you know, why?
• 30:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Because I've been saying it in my head all this time, because we've been talking for what?
• 30:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Two months now trying to get this together right.
• 30:38
  Carmen Lezeth: And in my head I'm like Dashaia.
• 30:42
  Dr. Dashia: Well, because that's how my mother phonetically spelled it.
• 30:46
  Dr. Dashia: So, as a reading teacher, you're absolutely right.
• 30:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you so much, but it's D-a-s-h-i-acom.
• 31:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me do it again audio dr d-a-s-h-i-acom, so please go and visit that website.
• 31:06
  Carmen Lezeth: She has free downloads that are really helpful.
• 31:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I did one of them, um.
• 31:12
  Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, visit the website.
• 31:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Please purchase the pre-order book Right, and um, we're going to have you back for that as well.
• 31:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Let's talk about the business part of this.
• 31:28
  Dr. Dashia: So she's on purpose.
• 31:29
  Dr. Dashia: Ispose is about helping women, you know, crush their limiting beliefs, uncover their purpose and be able to live authentically in that purpose, whether it's building a life or a business, just in that, in who they were authentically created to be.
• 31:46
  Dr. Dashia: And so I help them through that in many ways.
• 31:48
  Dr. Dashia: I have a community that she's on purpose academy, where they can flow through several courses that I've created about crushing your you know,000 people across the US to show its effectiveness and helping women really understand what their purpose is and then how to begin to build from that.
• 32:21
  Dr. Dashia: So we do that through the academy, through the published books that we have and some one-on-one coaching.
• 32:30
  Dr. Dashia: I try not to do as much one on one coaching anymore because it's very consuming, but but through the coaching as well, but mainly right now, really through the book.
• 32:40
  Dr. Dashia: The first book that that I wrote was that she's on purpose, one which I tell people that's the worst book.
• 32:45
  Dr. Dashia: Don't buy that.
• 32:46
  Dr. Dashia: Don't buy that book.
• 32:48
  Dr. Dashia: You know you just, it was better done than perfect.
• 32:52
  Dr. Dashia: Buy that book.
• 32:56
  Dr. Dashia: You know you, just, it was better done than perfect, and so it was done.
• 32:57
  Dr. Dashia: But the next book was the meditation journal.
• 32:58
  Dr. Dashia: Really, because one of the things that I help, I try to teach women, is that, yeah, you can pray and pray, and pray, but at some point you got to listen.
• 33:06
  Dr. Dashia: You got to listen for the direction that you're asking for.
• 33:09
  Dr. Dashia: You got to be able to and then, and then to write that down right, because we can't remember everything.
• 33:15
  Dr. Dashia: And so I created that meditation journal to just kind of teach women to kind of take a pause and and listen and get quiet within yourself and then be able to write down those things that you're hearing.
• 33:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I think I did that on the website, right?
• 33:31
  Carmen Lezeth: That's one of the meditation.
• 33:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe that's what I put, that you have a free.
• 33:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I guess it's a sample PDF.
• 33:37
  Carmen Lezeth: That's the one I did.
• 33:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, okay.
• 33:39
  Maurio Dawson: So did you stop and listen to yourself?
• 33:41
  Carmen Lezeth: No, clearly not Only for money.
• 33:43
  Carmen Lezeth: We need money to survive, but this is passion for you, this is yeah this is in your heart.
• 33:57
  Maurio Dawson: I can just see it in your writing.
• 33:58
  Maurio Dawson: You said something really interesting just now.
• 34:00
  Maurio Dawson: Who pours into you?
• 34:03
  Dr. Dashia: Well, right now my husband pours into me.
• 34:07
  Dr. Dashia: Thank God for that, for that, um, you know, my kids are in a well not all of them, not all of us when yet she's not there yet, but, um, you know, my middle daughter is, so she's always poured into me in ways that, um, I didn't know that I needed, I felt like it was defiance but it really wasn't.
• 34:32
  Dr. Dashia: She was the one who would say, like at nine or 10, she'd be like I don't agree with that whole.
• 34:37
  Dr. Dashia: What happens in this house stays in this house.
• 34:39
  Dr. Dashia: Like I don't agree with that At nine or 10?
• 34:43
  Dr. Dashia: And yeah, she's like if we need outside help, then we need to get outside help.
• 34:47
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, I don't agree with this whole thing.
• 34:50
  Dr. Dashia: And she's always like so she was pouring into me when I didn't know that I needed it.
• 34:55
  Dr. Dashia: But now that she's almost 30, she is.
• 34:58
  Dr. Dashia: She's an amazing mother.
• 35:01
  Dr. Dashia: She went to my you know my alma mater and she's like I remember you used to bring us here when you were in college and used to bring us to class with you, and she's like man, and now I'm here and I'm like bringing my daughters, you know, and so that's even that's pouring into me, because I had a lot of mother like I had a lot of parenting guilt and yeah.
• 35:25
  Dr. Dashia: So now my kids are pouring into me.
• 35:27
  Dr. Dashia: You know, my community even pours back into me, because there are days I show up in my academy and I'm just like listen, I need to hear.
• 35:36
  Dr. Dashia: You know, how am I supporting you?
• 35:38
  Dr. Dashia: How am I Because every day is not a great day.
• 35:41
  Dr. Dashia: No, you know, and I don't shy away from that, those feelings anymore, or those days anymore, and I don't just try to show up strong every day anymore, because I don't deserve that.
• 35:55
  Maurio Dawson: You realize people are your sandpaper, how people can just smooth out those rough edges.
• 36:01
  Maurio Dawson: It's not like that middle daughter was your sandpaper, because I know my daughter is my sandpaper Baby.
• 36:07
  Maurio Dawson: She roughs me up and she smooths those edges out because we can be challenging.
• 36:16
  Maurio Dawson: But I see you completely, yeah.
• 36:22
  Cynthia Lopez: Does she remind you of your grandmother?
• 36:23
  Cynthia Lopez: Is she more like your grandmother was?
• 36:28
  Dr. Dashia: No, she's not actually.
• 36:30
  Dr. Dashia: She's so much more like quiet and reserved and just like.
• 36:35
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, she's not like my grandma, she, she doesn't remind me of anybody, she's just her.
• 36:42
  Dr. Dashia: It's so weird, she is just, she's just.
• 36:46
  Dr. Dashia: She's always been like quiet and she dealt with some confidence issues because she had um eczema growing up, um, and that kind of you know, messed with her confidence some.
• 36:58
  Dr. Dashia: But man, when she got that thing back, she is just like, this is what I believe in and this is who I am, and she's like, and I'll give you this one quick story.
• 37:07
  Dr. Dashia: So she has daughters, two daughters from this guy that, of course, I did not like, but the parents never liked the guy, never does and um, and you know she was transitioning and she was working and going to college and doing all these things and and I remember calling her one day and she's like I'm like what are you doing?
• 37:26
  Dr. Dashia: She's like, oh, I'm packing up the girl's stuff.
• 37:27
  Dr. Dashia: They're about to go live with their dad.
• 37:29
  Dr. Dashia: And I was like what, what?
• 37:30
  Dr. Dashia: And she's like she's like yeah, she's like it's too much for me.
• 37:34
  Dr. Dashia: I got a lot going on.
• 37:35
  Dr. Dashia: I'm trying to go to school, I'm trying to you to school.
• 37:38
  Dr. Dashia: I'm trying to work.
• 37:39
  Dr. Dashia: I got all these bills, I got all this stuff on my own.
• 37:41
  Dr. Dashia: He's not doing anything.
• 37:42
  Dr. Dashia: He's about to get his daughters.
• 37:43
  Dr. Dashia: I'm like you're so wrong.
• 37:46
  Dr. Dashia: I put all of my beliefs and things.
• 37:52
  Dr. Dashia: She's like mama, I'm going to just tell you right now I didn't make these kids by myself.
• 37:56
  Dr. Dashia: I'm going to just tell you right now I didn't make these kids by myself.
• 37:58
  Dr. Dashia: I'm not raising them by myself.
• 38:00
  Dr. Dashia: That's their father.
• 38:01
  Dr. Dashia: I'm not giving them to a stranger.
• 38:02
  Dr. Dashia: She's like he needs to get them for like a year so I can get some stuff together and then when they come back, I'll be better and I'm like she's like I'm going to send them on purpose.
• 38:12
  Dr. Dashia: I see them.
• 38:12
  Dr. Dashia: But she understood that so clear and for me I thought that like I could never do that, oh my god, how could you?
• 38:21
  Dr. Dashia: Just she's like I'm not giving my kids away, but they're they're just gonna go live with their dad.
• 38:26
  Dr. Dashia: She's like what's the difference?
• 38:27
  Dr. Dashia: The weekend or years, what's the difference?
• 38:29
  Dr. Dashia: It's not a difference.
• 38:30
  Dr. Dashia: And I'm like wow, and I thought that that was so brave of her and brave of her.
• 38:39
  Dr. Dashia: And just she stood in her own and she's like this is what I believe, like we have to do this together and if I don't have the capacity to do it right now, then they're his responsibility too, and he can do it.
• 38:52
  Dr. Dashia: And she didn't feel a way about it.
• 38:53
  Dr. Dashia: She went to school, she, she worked two jobs, she finished that degree and and yeah, and then she got him back and she's like, okay, now we're gonna, we're gonna, I'm a school and I'm, and I was like I just I couldn't even imagine.
• 39:08
  Dr. Dashia: I love it.
• 39:10
  Dr. Dashia: But she's always just been her own person, very like, solid and strong in her beliefs, and even if she believes something today and next week she decides she doesn't believe in it, she'll tell you.
• 39:21
  Dr. Dashia: She's like yeah, I don't think like that anymore.
• 39:23
  Dr. Dashia: And she's like I did last week and I was fine, but not anymore.
• 39:26
  Dr. Dashia: So you know, I really appreciate that about her, because I never had the confidence to do that.
• 39:33
  Dr. Dashia: I was very much a people pleaser, very wishy-washy, like whatever you would.
• 39:40
  Dr. Dashia: Ok, that makes you happy, I'll do that.
• 39:42
  Dr. Dashia: That makes you happy, I'll do that.
• 39:44
  Dr. Dashia: That you know, and she was, she's like you ain't going to like me, you're going to respect me though.
• 39:54
  Carmen Lezeth: OK, you've been a principal and an educator, and should we say coach?
• 40:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that right?
• 40:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you want to say coach.
• 40:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know.
• 40:02
  Carmen Lezeth: Some people don't like the life coach thing, and I know I know that's why I'm always the ambassador what's the biggest myth about leadership that you like to kind of tell people is true or not true?
• 40:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Like what's the biggest myth?
• 40:21
  Dr. Dashia: Ooh, that, the leader got it all figured out.
• 40:23
  Dr. Dashia: They don't.
• 40:26
  Dr. Dashia: They know just as much as the people they're leading.
• 40:29
  Dr. Dashia: Probably just a little bit more.
• 40:31
  Dr. Dashia: Just a little bit more.
• 40:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Everyone's faking it till.
• 40:34
  Carmen Lezeth: They make it.
• 40:37
  Dr. Dashia: I almost lost my job as a principal the first year I was a principal.
• 40:42
  Dr. Dashia: I was almost fired.
• 40:43
  Dr. Dashia: I was called down to the superintendent's office and it was the scariest thing and he's like well, you know, part of your job is making those teachers do their job, and I was.
• 40:57
  Dr. Dashia: So I became principal of a school where I was teaching at.
• 41:00
  Dr. Dashia: So I was teaching there for a while, so me and the teachers were friends, basically like we're colleagues, and then I became principal.
• 41:08
  Dr. Dashia: So now all of a sudden I have to switch that colleague hat to.
• 41:12
  Dr. Dashia: Now I have to hold you accountable and remember I was a people pleaser yeah and that was very hard for me to do.
• 41:19
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, you don't have your lesson plans.
• 41:21
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, ok, I'll give you another week, knowing the district is saying we need this by this day.
• 41:26
  Dr. Dashia: So I'm late on my things, not because I don't have it together, but because I'm waiting on someone else or I've given, and it was.
• 41:35
  Dr. Dashia: It was.
• 41:35
  Dr. Dashia: It was bad.
• 41:36
  Dr. Dashia: It was that first year was bad, and when that superintendent said, yeah, we're gonna like you, you're gonna take a leave for a little bit, um, and you need to figure out if this is really what you want to do, because if you're telling me you're not and and I was the one where I'm not gonna throw my team under the bus, so I took all the blame and that wasn't good.
• 42:03
  Dr. Dashia: It's like we did not Like you weren't showing up this way during your training.
• 42:07
  Dr. Dashia: You weren't showing up this way before, when you were at another school.
• 42:10
  Dr. Dashia: It's like now you're back at this, like this is a whole other person I'm seeing.
• 42:14
  Dr. Dashia: And it was because I didn't want to lose my friends, right?
• 42:19
  Dr. Dashia: Person I'm seeing.
• 42:19
  Dr. Dashia: And it was because I, you know, I didn't want to lose my friends, right?
• 42:21
  Dr. Dashia: I didn't want them to be mad at me or to think that I got too big and you know that I big headed and it was.
• 42:27
  Dr. Dashia: It was rough and I had to go back to the school and tell them, like, first of all, I have three kids to feed and, yeah, we can't lose this job, so y'all have to get y'all stuff together, Right, but that's kind of the whole idea of like this.
• 42:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Leaders are not everyone, but most leaders are faking it till they make it.
• 42:47
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I've worked with many clients who I'm telling you right now they don't know as much as they pretend to know.
• 42:53
  Maurio Dawson: You probably knew more than they did Carmen.
• 42:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah Well, I'm just saying, like in general, it's just kind of that thing, right, that it was a great answer is all I'm trying to say.
• 43:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I have some rapid fire questions.
• 43:06
  Carmen Lezeth: They're not really rapid fire.
• 43:10
  Dr. Dashia: But what's a quote you live by?
• 43:11
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, speak it.
• 43:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Speak what you seek until you see what you said Say it again, because that's at the bottom of your emails.
• 43:18
  Dr. Dashia: Yep, speak what you seek.
• 43:21
  Dr. Dashia: Until you see what you said, say it again.
• 43:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Cause that's at the bottom of your emails, yep, what you seek.
• 43:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Until you see what you said and that's yours, right, that's right.
• 43:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I live by that.
• 43:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Keep speaking it.
• 43:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you want to explain it to people who maybe don't get it it?
• 43:34
  Carmen Lezeth: Took me a moment and I was like wait Ooh it is.
• 43:37
  Dr. Dashia: It is.
• 43:38
  Dr. Dashia: It's wrapped into the affirmation book I wrote.
• 43:40
  Dr. Dashia: I really believe in affirmations, I really believe in speaking life into yourself and I believe that you see things twice.
• 43:46
  Dr. Dashia: You have to first see it in your mind first before you can materialize it in the real world.
• 43:52
  Dr. Dashia: You see it in your mind, with your beliefs, you got to believe that.
• 43:56
  Dr. Dashia: You know that you can have this thing or do this thing or be this thing, whatever it is, and you just keep saying it until it shows, until it materializes I want a million dollars.
• 44:06
  Dr. Dashia: I see a million dollars keep speaking it and it's funny like I would you ever thought about.
• 44:18
  Dr. Dashia: It's like um, it's like that theory.
• 44:21
  Dr. Dashia: I forget what it's called now.
• 44:22
  Dr. Dashia: It's crazy.
• 44:23
  Dr. Dashia: Um, dang, I forget it.
• 44:26
  Dr. Dashia: It's a three-letter acronym, starts with r.
• 44:28
  Dr. Dashia: But you ever, you, you ever notice like when you say you want something, all of a sudden you see it like you say, oh, I want this car.
• 44:34
  Dr. Dashia: And then everywhere you go, you see this car, car, yeah, you should have everybody have the same car.
• 44:38
  Dr. Dashia: It's your subconscious way of saying I'm going to give you what you desire, but you've got to really believe it and you've got to really keep seeking it.
• 44:45
  Dr. Dashia: And so I really believe that.
• 44:48
  Dr. Dashia: I love that quote.
• 44:49
  Carmen Lezeth: That's really good and I love that it's yours, because I did a little Google search.
• 44:58
  Dr. Dashia: I'm like but it's hers okay, I thought that was a little too pretentious, so I don't think it is at all.
• 45:03
  Dr. Dashia: I don't think it is I think you should put your name on it.
• 45:08
  Carmen Lezeth: What's one thing you wish more women knew about themselves?
• 45:14
  Dr. Dashia: Oh that they are, the SHIT they are.
• 45:20
  Dr. Dashia: They don't need to go find it anywhere else, it's already in them.
• 45:26
  Carmen Lezeth: What does that mean exactly?
• 45:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Can you give me some other words?
• 45:30
  Dr. Dashia: Sure.
• 45:31
  Dr. Dashia: So you know, shit is an acronym, right, it is self-s, it's self-sufficient, hardworking, innovative and triumphant.
• 45:42
  Dr. Dashia: Come on now, and I believe that, um, all of us are that, all women are that.
• 45:47
  Dr. Dashia: You know, we, we, we, uh, most of us love a man to do the man thing, but we are self-sufficient, we can do it if we need to.
• 45:57
  Dr. Dashia: I'm sorry, you said the man thing, you know, I don't want to take out the trash, I don't want to pay out the bills, I don't want to do those things, like you know.
• 46:06
  Dr. Dashia: I understand it was just funny, but we can if we needed to, you know.
• 46:13
  Dr. Dashia: And so I think that sometimes we look so much outside of ourselves for validation and for things, and if we just realize that we're already, that we don't need to look for it.
• 46:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Can you say what the acronym means again?
• 46:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Because when you first said it, it cut out.
• 46:28
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why.
• 46:29
  Dr. Dashia: Sure, it's self-sufficient, hardworking, innovative and triumphant.
• 46:34
  Dr. Dashia: That's brilliant.
• 46:36
  Maurio Dawson: Okay, so you guys are the shit basically, basically, basically, that's brilliant.
• 46:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, so you guys are the shit, basically, basically, basically.
• 46:40
  Carmen Lezeth: What's your superpower?
• 46:44
  Dr. Dashia: My listening skills?
• 46:46
  Dr. Dashia: I think I am.
• 46:49
  Dr. Dashia: I listen very well and I didn't always have that.
• 46:53
  Dr. Dashia: I feel like I can listen to the and I can hear the things that people are not saying and be able to speak to those things.
• 47:03
  Dr. Dashia: Ooh, like you're intuitive, very intuitive, very much an empath, I can walk in a room and just and feel and see, and, and I let that guide me, even when, if I walk into a crowded room, I let that feeling guide, even when, if I walk into a crowded room, I let that feeling guide me to who I speak to, who I you know how.
• 47:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I really think that's my superpower, I know that's my superpower what's one thing you're working on right now that lights you up?
• 47:34
  Dr. Dashia: Oh, so that book is one Girl I see that is.
• 47:41
  Dr. Dashia: It lights me up and it scares the heck out of me.
• 47:44
  Dr. Dashia: And I say that because I've been writing this book slash journal because really it's not a book about my life, it's really a journal to help women be able to, you know, discover themselves again, empower themselves and then heal, and and so I've had to go through that journey as I write this book.
• 48:09
  Dr. Dashia: And so it lights me up because all of the things that I'm getting through that healing process, because I'm on the last end of that, I'm loving who, I'm discovering in myself, and so it really it really lights me up.
• 48:24
  Carmen Lezeth: The way you just said it too, I don't know.
• 48:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Like just the shine or something just came through when she said it that way.
• 48:31
  Carmen Lezeth: Do you guys have any more questions?
• 48:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Any last questions?
• 48:36
  Rick Costa: I was going to bring up a story that you told that it's not funny.
• 48:38
  Rick Costa: Like in the situation was funny, but in hindsight I can see how somebody could think like it's a little bit funny how your aunt came over and ate the food and your mama went off on her and said you ate my baby's food.
• 48:51
  Dr. Dashia: My mama was mad you have to tell us a story.
• 48:56
  Rick Costa: Loved you?
• 48:56
  Rick Costa: Rather, your mama really loved you because you went off on her.
• 48:58
  Rick Costa: We have to tell us a story Loved you?
• 48:58
  Rick Costa: Rather, your mama really loved you because you had offered her.
• 49:00
  Carmen Lezeth: We have to tell everyone the story.
• 49:02
  Dr. Dashia: My mom and my aunt were really best friends.
• 49:06
  Dr. Dashia: I love my aunt to death.
• 49:08
  Dr. Dashia: My aunt was, and I always tell people this I've never seen a fat crackhead ever.
• 49:14
  Dr. Dashia: My aunt was one.
• 49:18
  Dr. Dashia: It didn't matter how much drugs she was on.
• 49:24
  Dr. Dashia: That lady did not lose weight because being she would tell me she's like I'm not spending my last five dollars on crack, I'm gonna go get me some food and start this time.
• 49:32
  Dr. Dashia: My mom, my mom had bought you know some things to make for me for breakfast the next day a dozen of eggs.
• 49:39
  Dr. Dashia: I remember it so clearly it's crazy.
• 49:41
  Dr. Dashia: I remember Garcia sausage and they only came with like eight in the box and a half a loaf of bread and I mean a loaf of bread.
• 49:49
  Dr. Dashia: And we got up that morning.
• 49:51
  Dr. Dashia: I just remember hearing my mom like screaming like you ate my baby food.
• 49:55
  Dr. Dashia: And I came downstairs and my aunt had literally cooked six eggs out of the dozen, four of the sausages, and ate like a half a loaf of bread like all by herself.
• 50:09
  Dr. Dashia: Oh my god, my mom was losing it.
• 50:13
  Dr. Dashia: And so my mom is like tall and slim and my aunt is like short and chubby and my mom was like she was losing her mind she's you got to go find my, my, my baby, some food You're going to go get like.
• 50:29
  Dr. Dashia: It was a full blown argument, and I say it's funny because, in hindsight, that's the day I found out that my mom had AIDS Because my aunt got so mad that she bl day.
• 50:39
  Dr. Dashia: I found out that my mom had AIDS because my aunt got so mad that she blurted it out in the fight.
• 50:42
  Dr. Dashia: But yeah, they were like.
• 50:45
  Dr. Dashia: My mom had got so mad she put a pot of boiling water on the stove like she was about to throw water on her.
• 50:51
  Dr. Dashia: That's how mad she was about that food.
• 50:54
  Maurio Dawson: She should have made some grits, it would have really been her.
• 50:58
  Dr. Dashia: My mama was mad about that food.
• 50:58
  Dr. Dashia: She should have made some grits, it would have really been.
• 51:00
  Dr. Dashia: My mama was mad about that fool.
• 51:01
  Dr. Dashia: She was like you're going to go find my baby some food Like you're going to replace it.
• 51:05
  Dr. Dashia: She was really upset.
• 51:06
  Dr. Dashia: Yeah, I never seen her like that before.
• 51:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You got some incredible women in your life.
• 51:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know it.
• 51:15
  Carmen Lezeth: It sounds, I mean, I think there's, you know there's the sad part of the story, but I think what makes you so resilient is that you tend to see joy, you see positivity, you see light, you see that other side of thing, and I think that's what you and I have in common, which is what I try to keep telling people Like.
• 51:35
  Carmen Lezeth: We can be in a bad situation, we can find ourselves in mistakes and errors and issues that maybe we don't want to be in, but can you find the light, can you find a way to find joy and walk through it, and that's why I love what you're doing and, and I'm just so glad you're here, will you come back?
• 51:52
  Dr. Dashia: Thank you, yes, of course, I will Thank you If you got I'll be back.
• 51:56
  Carmen Lezeth: No, we're going to have you back.
• 51:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Mara, were you going to have a question?
• 51:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry I saw you reading.
• 52:00
  Maurio Dawson: No, I just wanted to say that, carmen, I see a common thread between the two of you so much you don't even understand the common thread that you and Carmen really have.
• 52:13
  Maurio Dawson: And by you reaching out and touching her in that moment, from that note, you don't even know Carmen has a book herself.
• 52:22
  Maurio Dawson: I don't know if you know that.
• 52:23
  Dr. Dashia: Wow, no, I don't know.
• 52:24
  Dr. Dashia: Yes, no, no, we need to say that oh my God.
• 52:28
  Maurio Dawson: No, because you guys really need to connect outside of the show, because you guys are so You're just like this, believe it, or?
• 52:38
  Dr. Dashia: not.
• 52:38
  Dr. Dashia: So what you're saying is this was purposeful, yeah.
• 52:42
  Maurio Dawson: It was divine.
• 52:44
  Carmen Lezeth: It was truly a divine intervention.
• 52:48
  Maurio Dawson: You were meant to touch her and you were meant to be on this show because you are bringing so much joy and light like Karma said and uplifting to the show.
• 52:58
  Maurio Dawson: This show is called All About the Joy.
• 53:01
  Maurio Dawson: You are the perfect definition of what All About the Joy is truly.
• 53:07
  Carmen Lezeth: It is truly After the show.
• 53:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm only hesitant because this is about her.
• 53:13
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why I get.
• 53:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I know what you're doing.
• 53:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I know what you're doing.
• 53:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I know what you're doing.
• 53:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I know what you're doing, I know what you're doing.
• 53:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm just so glad that you're here.
• 53:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm glad we got to meet.
• 53:24
  Carmen Lezeth: This is not the last time that you will be on the show, for sure, but also in my life.
• 53:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Whether you like it or not, I will be all purpose with you, okay.
• 53:35
  Dr. Dashia: Carmen I am not like really coaching right now, but I would know I was listening.
• 53:41
  Dr. Dashia: Stay connected to you, because it seems like we are supposed to be connected, and one of the things I always.
• 53:47
  Dr. Dashia: I keep a puzzle piece, and that's that's really big for me, because you don't know who you're supposed to be connected to right, and if you don't live authentically in your purpose and doing what you're supposed to do.
• 53:59
  Dr. Dashia: Think about a puzzle piece.
• 54:01
  Dr. Dashia: It has four sides, that there's things that's never going to be able to be complete because you won't play your part, you won't put your piece down, and so, um, yeah, I don't think that this was by accident.
• 54:15
  Dr. Dashia: So I would love to stay connected, because Mario seems like he knows what he's talking about.
• 54:21
  Maurio Dawson: I really do.
• 54:22
  Maurio Dawson: I don't have a PhD, but I do know what I'm talking about Because I am intuitive.
• 54:29
  Maurio Dawson: I can say that I'm very intuitive.
• 54:31
  Maurio Dawson: I've always been that.
• 54:32
  Maurio Dawson: Because you don't know my story and if you knew my story, you'd know why I say what I say.
• 54:37
  Maurio Dawson: And if you knew my story, you know why I say what I say and I believe that's supposed to happen.
• 54:42
  Maurio Dawson: This was supposed to happen.
• 54:43
  Maurio Dawson: This whole interaction was supposed to happen.
• 54:46
  Maurio Dawson: I'm grateful to have met you myself and you know God bless you.
• 54:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you, thank you all for this, Thank you.
• 54:55
  Carmen Lezeth: No, it was so much fun and so inspiring and I feel like we need to do another.
• 54:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I feel like we can do another show.
• 55:01
  Maurio Dawson: Yeah, this needs to be a part two.
• 55:03
  Maurio Dawson: Yeah.
• 55:05
  Carmen Lezeth: But thank you for being here Everyone.
• 55:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Please go check out the website.
• 55:09
  Carmen Lezeth: Dr Deshae, right no?
• 55:12
  Maurio Dawson: Deshae.
• 55:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Deshae.
• 55:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm never going to say it right.
• 55:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what it?
• 55:15
  Cynthia Lopez: I'm never gonna say it right you know it's gonna take like it's okay think about day like daylight and day sha day sha.
• 55:24
  Carmen Lezeth: This is good, because I think what's tripping her up is the eye without the eye in her name.
• 55:30
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know what's so weird too?
• 55:32
  Carmen Lezeth: It's because I've been saying it this whole time.
• 55:34
  Carmen Lezeth: That way, I am one of those people I repeat, repeat, repeat you know, but go check out the website.
• 55:39
  Carmen Lezeth: We're so glad that you were here.
• 55:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you for taking the time and remember everyone.
• 55:45
  Carmen Lezeth: At the end of the day, it really is all about the joy.
• 55:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye everyone.
• 55:49
  Dr. Dashia: Thank you guys.
• 55:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
• 55:54
  Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy be better and stay beautiful folks have a sweet day.
• 55:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
• 55:56
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy, be better and stay.
• 55:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Beautiful folks have a sweet day.