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S4 E30 - Listener Emails · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_06: Hey, thank you again, Steve and Jeff Show band.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_06: What a great way to sing us into the show.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_06: And great to be here tonight.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_06: How's it going?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_06: I think we talked about this before.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_06: It's Liberation Week.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_06: Liberation Week.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_06: That means more taxes.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, well, I mean tariffs.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_06: Wow, but I'm sure there will be, but are there any countries left to tariff?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe these are just increases in existing tariffs because nobody has said thank you even once, right?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_06: I haven't heard a thing about it.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_06: For some reason, nobody talks about tariffs anymore.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_06: Or the Epstein files, or the lawsuit he filed against himself, or the crypto, or the JET.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_06: Hey, remember the JET?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_05: Barely.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_05: Isn't that amazing?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's amazing.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_05: And Liberation Week is probably going to help people forget even faster.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_05: The liberate them of their memories.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_05: So they won't they won't have that.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_05: And you're right, there are a lot of important issues, but I think the one thing that the king has realized is it's about America first.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_05: So getting America stoned, as stoned as possible, not worrying about getting Canada stoned or getting France stoned.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's about getting us stoned.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_05: And that's the reason I voted for him.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_06: That would be certainly an excellent way to manage what's coming.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_06: But you know, Jeff, at least you didn't vote for him because he promised to lower food and gas prices, lower inflation, and of course, say out of other countries' businesses, you know, no regime change or starting wars that we didn't need to start.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_06: That's good because if you voted for him for any of those reasons, you'd be disappointed.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_06: Now that we have an all-powerful president, not even the big strong alpha men in Congress can say anything critical of.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_06: Oh gosh, no.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_06: See, he gives himself grades.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_06: That it was an executive order, and basically the the rating of the president is directed by the president.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_06: So he hates himself essentially.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_06: And the press just reports at verbatim because you know that's what they're told to do.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_06: Let me pull out my official MAGA scorecard here.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_06: It looks like our king gave himself an A on each of those promises.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_06: He actually gave himself extra credit for reinstating the respect our country deserves from other countries all around the world, especially NATO, our good friends, our constant and consistent friends that we've been so nice to in NATO.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_06: I think we've talked about this before, Steve.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_05: To have somebody have the courage, the skills to grade himself an A when he is doing none of the things that he's promised to do.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_05: Outside of David Copperfield, I don't know who else in this country could ever do that, could make all the problems disappear by just denying that they exist.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_05: God knows he's gotten an A in everything he's ever done.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, he never made a mistake.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, by his own admission.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe he is who he thinks he is.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe he thinks maybe he is Jesus or Moses or you know, whoever he wants to be, or or or the Antichrist, but or or the Pope.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_06: Or the Pope, yeah.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_06: You know, Jeff, speaking of drugs, which we were saying.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_06: And let's let's uh which let's yeah, I mean let's have a pleasant conversation.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_06: Why not certainly uh speaking of drugs?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_06: I was going through our mail, you know, our email, and listener had a really good drug trip, uh wait, sorry, drug tip that might come in might come in handy until Congress allows our king to legalize meth, you know.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_06: Would you would would you like to hear it?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_05: Steve, I'm dying to hear it.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_05: The only thing that's weird is doesn't it seem strange to you and backwards that conservatives are the ones that want to legalize all the drugs, I guess if our king is considered conservative, and that the liberals are the ones that are not in favor of that.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_05: Are conservatives in favor of men competing in women's sports?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_05: I i is this an Antifa thing?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_05: This is like upside down day.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_06: So you're saying if there is an Antifa, you know, which there's not.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_06: Well, but if the boss did say there was, pretend, pretend there is.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_06: If there was, they're actually hiding in the Republican Party?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_06: That is brilliant, if true, because who would look for them there, you know, right?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_05: So since they're going to be legalizing everything, why don't you give me that tip?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_05: Because I'm probably gonna need that at some point.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_06: Well, I I I will, but I just thinking, you know, about Antifa hiding there.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_06: I bet all of Antifa could hide inside Mark Wayne Mullen's hat.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_06: But I digress.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_06: We got this email.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_06: This email is from Steve Lipschitz of Urbana, Illinois, who says he happened to get stopped by a cop at a nightclub.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_06: You know, he's causing a scene or whatever, and the cop found a small bag of a class A drug in his pocket.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_06: So, you know, Mr.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_06: Lipschitz, timing is everything.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_06: If you had just waited a few days, you wouldn't have been caught with an illegal class A drug, but only with an illegal class C drug.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_06: See, that's so much better.
• 5:26
  unknown: Right?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_06: That's right.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_06: We've made such progress.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_06: But more digression, sorry about that.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_06: Just as the cop was about to arrest him, he says to the cop, Look, it's not my fault.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_06: It's gonna sound nutty, but every time I try flushing this class A substance down the toilet, uh it magically appears back in my pocket again.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_06: Now I read that, I thought, what, is Todd Blanch this guy's lawyer?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_06: Wait, that's that's that is almost as ridiculous as some of the stories I've heard Todd Blanche say.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_05: But Well, and and it's worse than that, Steve, because does that mean basically that everything that he flushes ends up in his pocket?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I hope not.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_05: It's not a good situation, but I but I get it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_05: I get why he said that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_05: So go on.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_06: Well, the cop didn't believe him either.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_06: Of course.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_06: In fact, the cop said, I don't believe you.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_06: That's that's that's how Steve knew that the cop didn't believe him, right?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_06: Because the cop said, Right, right.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_06: So Steve says, I can prove it to you if you want me to.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_06: So the cop the cop is you know, almost laughing at this guy at this point, and he figures that's that's a small amount of drugs, and you know, who cares?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_06: All right, okay, I'll play along.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_06: Let's do it, let's go.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_06: Come on then.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_06: Gives the drug back to him, the guy flushes it down the toilet.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_06: Cop looks at him, kind of grins, and says, Okay, let's see your pockets now, you know.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_06: He says, Why do you want to see my pockets?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_06: He says, Well, I want you to show me the drugs.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_06: Steve says, What drugs, officer?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_06: Aha.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_06: Now that's he was on I think he was on that great trip when he had that great tip.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_05: You know, that also reminds me of the fact that we learn so much from our readers, from the people who who listen to our show.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_05: The people, Jeff, let's just say, yeah, the mil yeah, absolutely.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_05: And I kind of miss that, Steve.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_05: It's been a while since we've gotten more wisdom from the people who listen to our show.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_05: Or do you think maybe we ought to go through some of our mail?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_06: Jeff, I am so glad you asked that.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_06: And in fact, great minds must run alike.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_06: The Steve and Jeff Show band actually put a song together for our reading our email, reading our inbox days.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_06: Well, let's play it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes! Could be God give us anything we can read.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_06: All right, ready to read some emails.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_06: You you want to go first?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_05: You want to go first?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, this is an email from a Steve Lipschutz of Urbana, Illinois, which sounds familiar.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_05: He is a really devoted listener.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_05: Is he related to the other Steve Lipschutz?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_05: I guess there's probably not a lot of them in it.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_05: I think incredibly closely, yes.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_05: I'm from Urbana originally, and maybe that's where I kind of know him from.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_05: Anyway, so Steve writes, I love the show, and yes, Jeff, we were in school together.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: Well, there you go.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, you know, and I am the same Steve I was that was just mentioned at the beginning of your show.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_05: So that's kind of So we're not going to nuts.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_05: I mean it's the same.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_05: We're not going.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_05: It's the same guy.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_05: I'm glad he confirmed that.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_05: So my question, my question is a legal one.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_05: I have been in jail for the last two.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, so this tip that he gave us, not sure it's working out for him.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_05: But he says, I've been in jail for the last two weeks because of a drug bust.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know any good lawyers?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it doesn't sound like that tip was such a great tip after that.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_06: Because it didn't work out well, Mr.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_06: Lipschitz, but I have some good news and some bad news.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_06: You know, now, Jeff, as I've said many times on the show, I am from the future.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_06: In addition to being from the future, I am also an attorney.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_06: I do happen to be an attorney.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_06: But I remember that.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_06: Mr.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_06: Lipschitz's not the kind that will get you out of jail.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_06: But the good news is I could really introduce you to somebody that could not sell you insurance, but help you buy some insurance.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_06: Which you might need, although if you're currently in prison, underwriting might might decline you.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_06: But so anyway, we'll we'll work on that, Steve.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_06: And I'll just move on to the next one here.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_06: This next question is from Janet Steinberg of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, who says, I just was just down there not too long ago myself.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_06: Beautiful docs, yes.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_06: She certainly does.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_06: I just love your show, Steve and Jeff, and really have enjoyed the new music you have on the show from the Stephen Jeff show band.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, they're pretty cool, aren't they, Janet?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe I could come to Fort Lauderdale and we'd do some dancing to the music.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_06: I but but I digress.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_06: So anyway, let me go back to the email.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_06: Any chance I could hire them?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_06: My daughter is getting her bot mitzvah in September, and we could really use a great band like theirs at the dinner.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks, and keep up the good work.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_06: Well, they're like us, they're always looking for always looking for a gig.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_06: So I don't know.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm sure they'd be interested.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_05: And and in fact, I don't know, is there a sample that we have of of maybe didn't they do a bar mitzvah for was it Myron Cohen or Myron Cohen?
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_05: Somebody, yeah.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_06: And do we have that, Steve?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_06: Do you think you did?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_06: You know, and I remember that uh the Myron Cohen bar mitzvah.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_06: I remember that because he got up and he was gonna do uh his routine and it just took so long.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_06: Every joke was so long.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_06: It's like, wow.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_06: But yeah, but other than that, it was a beautiful holy day, yes.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_06: But uh yeah, you know what?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_06: We we have that song, and I don't know that they got paid really, but so let's let's play it again.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_06: Maybe hey, maybe they can get paid by the Steinbergs.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_06: Uh that could work.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_06: That could work.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_06: All right, let's hear it.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: Muzzle Tove, muzzle t little Myron Cohen boy.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: Your bar mitzvah pinch your cheek and bask in all our joy.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: You're a man today, a man in training at least.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: Quit talking now and come on down and start the feast.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: You'll start with potato niches, and after that for sure, there'll be kisses from anti That you just have to endure.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: But we ordered it so good.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: We've got enough that we can feed the whole neighborhood.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: Someone smuggled in tequila, and take whistle ankle dancing to a Nekila.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, that's great stuff.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_06: And we kind of have this pattern where one of us reads, the other one answers.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_06: So this could be your answer here.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_06: So I'm gonna read this one.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, please.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_06: Next question comes from John Kramer of Morning Noon and Every Other Night Plumbing.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_06: It's right here in the Metro, one of the big plumbing shops right here in the metro.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_06: We've we've used them in the past, I know.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_06: Let's see what he says here.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_06: It's uh Stephen Jeff, I love your show.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_06: It is obviously very successful, and I would think quite profitable.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_06: Well, you would think.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you would.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_06: I wouldn't, but you would.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_06: That's well, he might, yeah.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_06: That's why I'm confused as to why you haven't paid your bill for that emergency call, which we did last November.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_05: John, John, John.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_05: I'm glad you wrote us because this is where there's uh misunderstandings, things happen.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_05: In this case, this wasn't our fault because it turns out that the bill you gave us ended up in the toilet and then clogged the toilet.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and it's the call, right?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and so we don't have the bill anymore.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_05: We have a clogged toilet.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_05: So my suggestion is why don't you come out here and unclog it, pull out the bill, give it to me, and then Steve and I will find a uh a way to make sure that you get paid.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_05: You know, there are simple things that cause a lot of these problems.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_05: Try it off.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_05: That's a good idea.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, you don't want to do it after Taco Tuesdays either.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_05: That's probably not a good idea.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_05: Hope that helps.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_05: Feel free to come out any any day now.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_05: We want to pay the bill, so please do that.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_05: Anyways, the next message that we got or email is from an Alice France of Utopia, Virginia, who writes, Steven Jeff, you are sounding great again.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_05: Like America, um, as the saying goes.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_05: Keep up the great work.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_05: My question is that I'm on YouTube and TikTok a lot these days and would love to find you everywhere I go, including the bathroom.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_06: You know, I'm I'm I'm sensing a real theme to the show already.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_06: And we're only, I don't know, what are we, 10 minutes in?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_06: I'm I'm getting a theme already here.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm I know I could listen to you and the streaming services, but to be honest, that isn't enough.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_05: Please, I need to know more, and I need more Steve and Jeff and more cowbell.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_06: Alice is just like so many other of our millions.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_06: Let's let's just face it, Jeff, the millions of listeners who want Steve and Jeff 24-7.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_06: Alice, I have some good news for you and all the others that want us more.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_06: Soon, we will be everywhere you are, including that upstairs bathroom.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_06: But not the downstairs one.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_06: No, the downstairs one has got that funny smell.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_06: No, we're not.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_06: I'm not going there.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_06: Upstairs, sure.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_06: Keep an eye out for us on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_06: Uh won't be too long.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_06: You'll be seeing us there.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_06: And for those of you who want to see us, you know, in addition to listening to our podcast, well, you know.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_06: Despite my what I said to Janet earlier about the music, I'm married, so I really shouldn't see anyone.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_06: We will let you know.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_06: You may have some options for that as well.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_06: So you know, Jeff, these are such good questions.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_06: I I tell you, I like them because they say how great we are and they promote our show.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_06: And maybe that's why these are the ones we're reading.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you think maybe, I don't know.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_06: But we we do, as you said, we do have the smartest listeners and the most loyal listeners.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_06: Any of them maybe know how to unplug a toilet?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_06: That might be kind of important, at least uh in the next few days.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_06: Somebody here in the metro uh to do it.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that would be good.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_06: Next email comes from Mary Somerville of Trenton, New Jersey, who asks a question and sent she sent in a little song.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_06: Now, fans have been doing this since the Stephen Jeff showed has been creating songs.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_06: Do you want to hear the song first or should we do the question first?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_06: Let's hear the song first.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_06: Want to hear the song first?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_06: Not to spoil the beans too much about her question, but let's she wants to inspire more support for the war.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_05: It sounds like a kind of a goofy question.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_05: I think I'm gonna enjoy the song more, but we we can do both.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_05: So let's do the okay.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_06: Let's let's play the song.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, was she did you think I was talking about you?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_06: No, but I digress.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_06: Back to her question now.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_06: She's very Steve and Jeff.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_06: I love your show.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_06: But I do I smell a rat?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_06: In the toilet, maybe.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, maybe the rat is what maybe that's Alice's downstairs bathroom, isn't it?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_06: That's right.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_06: But I digress.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_06: You say you're a big supporter of our king, but I get the feeling you aren't as loyal as you claim to be.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_06: Are you just another Tucker?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_06: I think that's a T, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_06: Tucker?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, okay.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_06: It might be changes loyalties the minute something appears to go wrong.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_06: Not that anything has gone wrong under our king.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_06: And if it did, it wouldn't be his fault.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_06: And if it was his fault, you'd understand that he's playing four-dimensional chess.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_06: But what if someday he makes a mistake?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_06: Not that it would be his fault since he told you himself he's never done anything wrong.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_06: How would you feel then?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: Well, you know what?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: I think the song was better than the question.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_05: This is what I was talking about, you know?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, I'm I'm kind of uncomfortable with the whole premise of this king makes a mistake.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I don't I don't think any of that ever's is ever gonna happen.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_05: And for the record, Mary is the one who brought this up, not us.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_05: You know, God knows we're gonna go back to Mexico.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_06: So oh yeah, and if Brendan Garcia's back up here, you know, like he did last week.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_06: Remember last week?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, that would be bad.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_06: Uh no, I don't want to see him again.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_05: So, Mary, good luck on wherever wherever they send you.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna move on to the next question.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_05: This is from uh Troy Donahue.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_05: Donnahu, Donna Moo, Donnahu, Donahue, yeah, yeah, from Miami Beach, Florida.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he's a big actor back in the day.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_05: So I didn't know he was still around.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_05: No, I don't think he is.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_05: Uh so he asks another important question.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_05: He says, Stephen Jeff, since you are so connected with the government, I mean our king, can you give me an idea when the war in Iran will be over?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_05: The family would like to go on a vacation to the Middle East, and maybe we can wait until the shooting dies down.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_05: We also have tickets to a Strait of Hormose cruise.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_05: I hear those are great.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, so so what can you tell me?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_06: Well, first of all, thank you for that question, Troy Donnahue.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_06: And uh I loved you in a summer place.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_06: I I think your performance is highly underrated.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_06: So yeah.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_06: And it's great to hear that you're going on that Strait of Hormuz booth cruise.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_06: My mom keeps talking about she wants to go on that one too.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_06: Uh you should definitely take it.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, I've read all the brochures and I haven't been on it myself, but it looks exciting.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_06: You have nothing to worry about.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_06: Like our US media has told you.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_06: They've all said this.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_06: Iran has no army, navy, bombs, ships, or government.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_06: They wouldn't cover up, would they?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_06: So you're in good shape.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_06: Now, you may hear guns and bombs.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_06: That's just us.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_06: Friendly fire.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_06: Don't worry about it.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_06: From the beginning, it was a two-week war.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_06: So actually, the war is eventually over for about six weeks.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_06: Next question here is from uh Stacey Abrams of Nashville, Tennessee.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_06: I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year, and although it's early, I'm a big planner.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_06: We do have some time to do around Thanksgiving.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_06: Although, hey, you know, who knows?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_06: We might rerun the show around Thanksgiving.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_06: But anyway, so my question is when branding A 25-pound turkey.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_06: Do you let it sit for a full day before cooking it?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_06: And do you make your own stuffing?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna let you run with this one there, Jeff.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_05: Well, it's it's a tough question.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_05: You know, it's one that everyone wants to know.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_05: You know, you don't always get straight answers when you when you Google that stuff, but it's a good question.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_05: Brining is a staple of our family, and uh one day is enough.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_05: Also, use orange juice in the mixture, which makes it come out really juicy.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_05: I think you'll be very happy.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_05: As far as uh planning ahead, uh, you might even want to buy that turkey soon because you know, the price of turkeys by November, you know, that's gonna be really expensive.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, I think we're looking at probably in the$20 a pound range.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_05: You know, and that would be if you buy$25, you know, I guess it'd be$250 worth of stuff, you would be able to get the turkey for$20 a pound.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_05: It's probably a lot more expensive.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, but on the other hand, the cost to run your refrigerator to keep the turkey frozen all that time is going to be incredibly expensive too.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_05: So, you know, you're you're kind of stuck.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_05: I I might want I would say to go with maybe a Canadian goose, but you know, those are gonna be impossible to get.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_05: You know who we blame for that is you know, fucking Canadians.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_06: So yeah, yeah.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_06: It's not the terrorist, you know.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, no, no.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_05: So I think you're in a tough place, and I don't have a good answer for you, but I hope that helps a little bit.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_06: You know, and before we go to the next question, I gotta ask you about that orange juice, you know, brinding in the orange juice.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_06: So I I've never done that with a turkey, but when you're soaking it in the orange juice, would it be okay if the orange juice has, you know, like a little bit of vodka in it, like it's a screwdriver type thing, and and then you're brinding it with the orange juice and the vodka.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_06: Would that work?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, it does.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_05: And you make that olive stuffing because you've got your kind of martini mix kind of thing going.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_05: And so the next question is from Tom Smirnoff of Albany, New York.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_05: I love that name.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_05: Before I read this question, though, Steve and I would like to extend our sympathies to you and your family, Tom, for living so close to Canada.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_05: We pray for you every day.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_05: We're there for you.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_06: And prayers, Tom.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_05: And we just wish the best for you.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_05: And I know that you have been living in that area for a long time.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_05: And it looks like your question is you have bought all this crypto from Trump.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_05: Is it called the Trump crypto or whatever it's called?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, something like that.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and so you bought that last year, and you want to know what to do with it.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, should you hold on to it or should you sell it?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_06: Or, you know, what what do you think?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_06: Well, Tom, first of all, let me again thoughts and prayers.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_06: Thank you for being a great American, you know, struggling against that Canadian border that's a couple hundred miles from where you are.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_06: But you know, Tom, I on your crypto question, I'm tempted to call you Mr.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_06: Smirnoff, but I thought I'd have to have a drink if I said that name, but your crypto question.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_06: Definitely hold on to the crypto.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_06: Don't sell it because you're gonna have to hold on to it because of the Canadian.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_06: But if you're hanging on to it when you have 200 million, if you continue to feature for let's say the next hundred years, it's gonna be a valuable antique along with your Trump stakes, your Trump airline cocktail serves, and of course your Trump University diploma.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_06: So when you're a hundred and fifty or however old you are now, you can sell those and really do pretty well.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_06: So, you know, it looks like we have time for one more question.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_06: Uh this one is from Rob Petrie of Danville, Illinois, uh formerly of New Rochelle, New York.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_06: He asks, Hey Steven Jeff, love you guys so much.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_06: What would I listen to on the toilet every morning if it wasn't your show?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_06: See, uh see, he's Petri guy's picking right up on the theme.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_06: He's got it too, you know, I whatever it is, he got it too.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_06: I I wish I had hadn't gotten it, but okay.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_06: You make me feel like a regular guy if you know what I mean.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_06: And I'm so glad that we can help you in that department, Mr.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_06: Patrick.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_06: Now, my question has to do with rumors of a sequel to Queen Melania's amazing movie.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_06: Can you tell me what you were hearing?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, we do have our ear to the ground, and we have oh, so many contacts in Hollywood.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_05: Thanks for the question.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_05: I know we are all looking forward to more gems from the premier movie maker of our time, and she is.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_05: You know, she replaced Martin Scorsese as the best filmmaker, uh, although she's not from the United States.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_05: But that's why she got the eyesight.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_05: That's right, exactly.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_05: And so I'm not hearing any I'm not hearing a whole lot about what the movie will be about, but I know they're setting up the funding now, and you know, they're getting a lot of money invested in this.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_05: She's getting a lot of money from uh Northrop and Boeing to be specific, and uh it'll be a very big budget, so plenty of time for the companies to contribute more.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_05: And who knows if the movie will ever be made, but they're certainly going to have enough money to make one.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_05: So the profits are so much better if you just keep the money and don't make the movie.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_06: That's good business.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_06: They're even talking to Marty about directing.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, yeah, no, not Scorsese.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_06: No, you missed Scorsese.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_06: No, not Marty Scorsese, no, no, Marty Burgoff.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_06: He took one film appreciation course in high school, you know, and so he's he's ready, he's he's hired, he's got more qualifications than most of the people in in this administration, and he should give it really just the right touch.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_06: You know, I think we have time for one more question, Jeff.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_06: I do we really because it's let him kick us out of eccentric leading the institution.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_06: All right, good.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_06: I've lived in fear of them kicking us out all this time.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_06: Now I I don't care.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_06: Kick me out.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_06: Go ahead.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_06: Let's see what happens.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_06: We'll just one more question.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_06: Come on.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_06: This one is from Johnny Map.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_06: Well, Johnny Quest, but he gives himself the nickname Map.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_06: So Johnny Quest again loved you back in the 60s.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_06: You you did some wonderful things.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_06: MapQuest, he's updates, he's updating himself.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_06: Like when it says rerouting, you know, right?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_06: Johnny MapQuest.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_06: But I digress.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_06: He writes, uh, dear Steve and Jeff, I'm driving from Chicago to Omaha, and I understand you go back and forth sometimes.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_06: What's the best way to go?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_06: Thanks again and keep up the good work.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_06: That's a good question.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, well, yeah, well, Johnny.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_05: So, Johnny, here's what you do: you take out a piece of paper and you write these directions down.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_05: If you're coming from downtown Chicago, hop on McKennedy and take it west to O'Hare, get a ticket for a flight, and buy a ticket and fly the fuck to Omaha and quit thinking about driving it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_05: Got it?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_05: But I guess if you're Steve Lipschitz and you you have a lot of baggage, if you know what I mean, you you could probably just take 80 of the whole way.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_05: But but otherwise, um yeah, I would just fly.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_05: So, but this was fun.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_05: It sounds like our listeners are have a lot of questions.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_06: Stephen Chef show band, sing us on out of here.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_06: I they didn't kick us out yet, but we're close.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_06: They're close, they're lining up.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'll surrender.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_06: All right, sing us out, band.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_04: This has been a crypto scam production in association with crime family media.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_04: Read about our hosts, it's Steven Jeff, and hang on the king's crypto, cause there's no măsă,