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Imposter Syndrome with Melinda Emerson · The SmallBizChat with Melinda Emerson

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  3, 2, 1, 0, ignition.
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  Lift off.
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  Ending small business failure.
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  Welcome to the small biz chat podcast with the number 1 small business spurt, Melinda Emerson.
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  Melinda's goal is to end small business failure, and she'll give you the information
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  you to succeed and live the life you dream of.
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  Now here's your host, the small biz chat lady herself, Melinda Emerson.
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  Hi, everybody.
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  This is Melinda Emerson, and welcome to another solo episode of the small Bishop podcast you
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  know, I love doing, solo podcasts because that gives me an opportunity to answer questions
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  directly that I get from my fans and from my loyal readers.
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  And I've been getting a lot of questions lately about impostor syndrome.
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  And I think it's worth talking about because I don't think enough people talk about it.
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  And just a really kind of level set.
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  Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon.
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  Basically, where people feel like they don't deserve their success or or they don't deserve
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  their accomplishments.
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  Internally, they might feel like a fraud or they worry that one day someone will find out
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  that they don't know everything or or that they're not good enough.
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  And when we don't feel like we deserve our success.
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  It contributes to feelings of depression and adequacy isolation, difficulty in
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  relationships, and low self esteem.
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  Because when you have imposter syndrome, you kinda have a chip on your shoulder.
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  You don't you you know, you take offense to things that, you know, you you create paper
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  tigers when where there are no tigers there.
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  And I think it's really dangerous.
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  And it's something that we have to talk about, particularly because I think women
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  entrepreneurs young women entrepreneurs in particular, I think, are especially susceptible
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  to this.
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  And and And I can certainly remember times when I have actually been a victim of imposter
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  syndrome myself.
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  And I and I wanna share some of that, but You know, we all know that isolation and feelings
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  of inadequacy are the enemy of entrepreneurship.
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  Because 90% of sales is confidence.
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  And everybody can smell lack of confidence, dogs, children, and most certainly people.
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  So you have to figure out what you gotta do to shake it off.
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  And But I understand how it can happen, and I don't think anyone's really immune to this.
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  People can be very judgmental, especially of young entrepreneurs, business, women, or balls,
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  chicks, you know, even professional single moms.
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  Sometimes when you find out who's in a room, It could be intimidating to walk in.
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  Sometimes there are people that intentionally do things to intimidate you, like, you know,
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  ask you your revenues seconds after they ask you your name.
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  And, you know, tech entrepreneurs are especially good for that one.
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  But regardless of where you are on your business journey, It is extremely important to
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  always remember that you have value.
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  You have things to contribute, and that's important.
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  And somebody wants to know what you have to say.
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  And I can honestly share that, you know, despite running a thriving marketing consulting
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  firm for the past 23 years being regarded as America's number 1 small business expert with
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  my book, become your own boss in 12 months, being a best seller in print over 12 years in
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  multiple languages.
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  I've dealt with my own struggles of imposter syndrome and even mom guilt throughout my life.
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  And I think that now that I've been in business for so long, it's it's more rare, but it still
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  happens.
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  You know, if you're a millionaire, you can get intimidated walking in a room full of
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  billionaires.
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  So I don't think that anybody is immune to this, but what I wanna talk about is some
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  things you can do to shake it off quickly.
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  And and overcome it.
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  And and I think the first thing that we all need to do is celebrate small wins.
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  I think we're always looking for the Homer.
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  We wanna celebrate the Homer.
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  And what I wanna tell you is small victories are just important as big ones.
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  Think about it like this.
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  There are 3 feet in every mile.
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  So you have to appreciate every 3 feet.
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  And so I think that it's important for us.
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  Like, say you were just trying to get an introduction to someone, you haven't had any
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  business yet, but you got to someone who knew someone.
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  They got you an introduction.
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  That's a win.
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  That's a big win because a referral and introduction, you're 40% of the way there.
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  Now when you get your time with them, you gotta make sure your ask is right.
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  You gotta make sure your follow-up materials are ready to email right after the meeting, but
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  getting to someone you really wanted to get to is a small win.
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  Absolutely worth celebrating.
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  And, you know, It's important for you to share your small biz with others because by sharing
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  your small milestones, you can offer someone else hope or give them a key to some success
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  they were searching for.
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  Remember, people love hearing about progress.
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  Not just big picture success.
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  I think there's a lot of plenty of people who are wonderful successes that wanna tell all
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  their success.
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  But I love to hear the struggle story because frankly you learn more from that.
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  It's also, I think, important to take note of your own achievements.
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  Imposter syndrome can make you underestimate or or devalue your own achievements.
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  I don't be like, I could've done better.
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  Or it wasn't a a big deal if somebody tries to give you a compliment.
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  No.
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  Take a compliment.
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  You you don't realize that other people around you haven't accomplished a third of what you
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  have.
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  And sometimes you need to compare yourself to others.
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  Now I'm not somebody that's about keeping up with the Joneses.
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  So please don't misunderstand what I'm saying.
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  But every now and again, you need to make a list of your accomplishments so that the next
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  time you come across someone who makes you question yourself you can remember all of the
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  things you've accomplished and maybe throw a few of them out to back somebody off of you.
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  Also think it's important to talk about your dreams and aspirations.
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  It's okay to share your dreams before you accomplish it.
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  You never know by sharing them, you can attract support, strategic introductions, or referrals
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  that might be able to help you accomplish your dreams much faster.
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  I think sometimes we feel like, I can't tell anybody my dream.
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  No.
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  Tell everybody your I'm a contrarian when it comes to this.
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  I want you to share what you're trying to do because invariably somebody knows somebody that
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  can help you get there faster.
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  The other thing you can do is mentor other people.
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  No matter where you are in your business, there's somebody behind you.
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  So when you mentor someone, you're sharing your hard learn lessons with others.
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  And the more you share your experiences with others, the more you receive connections and
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  appreciation.
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  And everybody loves to feel appreciated.
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  Even if you're uncomfortable, talking about your successes to anyone.
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  Right?
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  Start by talking about your successes with your online community.
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  Share it on your social media.
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  Use it to update your LinkedIn content.
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  This will allow you to create social proof of your accomplishments, which will hopefully help
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  you combat imposter syndrome.
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  Sharing your dreams and ideas.
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  But now that I've been in business well over 20 years, I realized that that is ridiculous.
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  You want to share your successes big or small just to keep your name out there and just to
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  let people know what you're capable of.
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  The other thing I want you to do if you feel like you might be battling imposter syndrome is
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  be careful of your self talk.
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  So is a man thinking is he?
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  So if you think that you can't, that is true.
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  If you think that you can That is also true.
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  So really be careful of how you think about yourself.
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  You know, all of us on average have about 60,000 thoughts a day.
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  And sadly, 80% of them are negative.
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  So you wanna be careful not to let your inter obnoxious roommate that that mean inner voice
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  that we all have make you feel like you don't deserve to be in any room.
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  Or like your question was stupid.
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  There's no such thing.
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  It's stupid not to ask a question.
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  Before you go to a meeting or a reception, hype yourself up.
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  I'm a big fan of playing my theme music, and it my music that makes me feel happy, makes me
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  feel confident, I'm a big fan of the song head sprung by L.
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  L.
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  Koetje.
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  And I will play it, and I will feel like a million bucks or, like, I could punch through
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  steel after I hear that song.
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  And so you need to figure out what your song is.
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  Maybe it's a a Taylor Swift song, but you need to find a song that pumps you up so that when
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  you might be falling off into negative land, you can bring yourself back.
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  And music is a great way to do that because we all connect to music emotionally.
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  The next thing I wanna make you think about is at the end of the day, you always have to
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  remember who you are.
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  My favorite kid movie is The Lion King.
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  I love this animated movie.
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  I love the Broadway Play.
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  I even love the soundtrack, but my favorite part of the movie is when Simba, who's been
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  hiding out in the woods for years with his buddy, his father comes to him when he's taken
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  a nap.
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  And tells him, Simba, remember who you are.
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  And then he wakes up and looks down in a pool of water and sees his reflection.
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  And for the first time, sees himself as a real lion.
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  Well, the same is true for you.
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  If you find yourself struggling from imposter syndrome, look at yourself in the mirror
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  remember who you are.
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  Use daily affirmations if you need to to pump yourself up in the mirror so that no missiles
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  or snide comments can ever hurt you.
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  And lastly, Don't ever shrink yourself down.
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  You always have something to contribute even if it's from a brand new business owner's
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  perspective.
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  Don't be afraid to share your big picture vision for your business.
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  Listen.
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  I called myself America's number one small business expert for years before the world did.
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  But you know what?
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  I spoke it into existence.
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  You wanna talk about your ideas, your achievements no matter how small because each
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  step on the path of success is absolutely worth celebrating.
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  So I want to applaud you on being brave enough on being strong enough to even pursue
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  entrepreneurship in the first place because it's really hard.
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  If everybody could do it Everybody would.
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  And most people think about entrepreneurship, but never do anything about it.
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  So you are brave.
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  You are out here.
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  You are pursuing your passion and turning it into a business, and I applaud you.
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  So make sure that you don't defeat yourself before anyone else has the chance to.
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  I'm Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and I just want you to know that I am always rooting
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  for you.
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  And for those of you that are just getting started on your business journey, if you're
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  looking for a way, a path so that you can stop feeling fear about your business and have a
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  plan.
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  My brand new course become your own boss.
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  Launches live on January 31st.
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  And if you're interested in signing up for my course, it's gonna be taught live.
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  It's 10 weeks.
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  It's all online, so you can take it from anywhere You're gonna have a book and a
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  workbook and lots of tools and materials that you can reference.
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  All I want you to do is head over to tinyurl.comforward/byobdrexel.
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  My course become your own boss is being offered in partnership with Drexel University, and
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  anyone that takes my course will be eligible for a certificate of completion and CEU
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  credits, if that's something that you need for your business.
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  Alright.
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  Sign up today, it's tinyurl.comforward/byobdrexel.
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  Classes start, January 31st, go on and sign up today.
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  Thanks for listening to the small biz chat podcast with Melinda Emerson.
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  Subscribe to this podcast wherever you into podcasts and join us next Wednesday for more
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  fantastic information and interviews.
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  You can find more sources and small business success strategy by visiting Melinda's website
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  succeed as your own boss dot com.
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  Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you next week.