Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Becoming Aware Of Self-Love and Letting It Nourish You

Transcript

Becoming Aware Of Self-Love and Letting It Nourish You · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Live Well Podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, there's a lot going on right now.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when you are hearing this episode, I'm like two days away from moving, which I'm so excited about.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I am moving into a larger place.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I will finally have an office space, which for me is huge because I've never had an office space.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And as someone who like lives and like works at home in the same space, um I really think it's gonna help with kind of like work-life balance and like keeping my work like in the office and having that like separation from like life and work.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because otherwise I'm basically sitting at my kitchen counter all day every day.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited for that.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm also just excited to be in a new place.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I've really outgrown this space that I'm in now.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm like personally, I'm not the same person I was as I moved in.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna be like a really like good new chapter for me.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, I'm excited to kind of like decorate and crystal grid it, and you know what I mean.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not getting actually too much new furniture.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm just like only getting maybe like a desk and an office chair.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Other than that, I do plan to kind of like reuse a lot of like the furniture I already have.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: But either way, it's gonna be so fun.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can finally put up my Christmas tree.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm normally someone who puts up their tree in the beginning of November.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So having to wait an extra month has been very difficult.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited to get the tree up.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's also like two more big surprises coming in December.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you guys like follow me on Instagram, you know I mentioned that there are four big things happening in three weeks.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So the first one was like well nourished.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I opened that for early enrollment.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: So by the way, if you've wanted to get it in, it's still open by the time you're hearing this episode.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: The early enrollments open until December 10th.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second thing was it me moving, and then I have two more big things.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, guys, there's a lot going on.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of tabs open in my brain, but all very exciting things.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then I do plan to kind of take the last couple weeks of December, kind of like to chill.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: December, oh, since it's the first of December, not only um it is like snowing outside right now, which I find is so fitting, but December is my birthday month.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a Sag.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so shout out to all my fellow Sagges.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I love my birthday month, and uh, my birthday is the 19th of December, so it's like I think the yeah, so the 18th is like the Friday, and then Saturday, like from then onwards, I kind of want to slow down a bit for the rest of the year, plan some new things, and yeah, there's like there's a lot going on, but it's all fantastic things.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode today is all about self-love.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: We talk of well, I basically just go into depth about all of it, kind of where you should start um in terms of like showing yourself more love, etc.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you enjoy this episode.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and like I said, Wellnourished is open for a few more days.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll leave the link in the description box for that.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And let's jump in.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Well Podcast.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is designed to help you live well, body, mind, and soul.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Liv, a natural health and wellness expert.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And each week you will walk away with the insights, tools, and tips to truly live your best life.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: A new episode starts now.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: So today we are talking all about self-love.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is so important, and honestly, the first thing is becoming aware of how you talk to yourself and about showing yourself love.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if there's one thing that I would say is probably like the one of the most important things you need to do is to love yourself and show yourself love.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And the first step is becoming aware of your patterns and aware of if you're showing yourself love or even like how you are treating yourself.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I would encourage you right now to like pause and reflect like, how do I talk to myself?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how how do I show myself love?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all have like negativity bias, and negativity bias is basically a phenomenon that if there are two equally charged stimuli, the negative one will attract more of your mind's attention.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if there's something you perceive as negative about yourself, that will naturally attract more of your mind's attention than something that you feel positive about.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be like whether it's you know a physical feature or you know a non-physical feature, either way, um, your brain just unfortunately has to like recognize that more than the positive things.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, the funny thing about negativity bias is that from an evolutionary perspective, it was actually a competitive advantage because say that you were a hunter-gatherer out looking for food, and suddenly a poisonous stakes that start like slithering up to you, um, you know, or a wild boar that could, you know, feed your family for weeks runs across your path.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Your subconscious has like milliseconds, right, to decide which animal to pay attention to.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you choose to hunt the boar and you'll be vulnerable to the snake and you'll likely get bitten, or you know, you choose to defend yourself against the snake and you will avoid getting bitten, but the boar will get away.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, all of our ancestors who naturally paid attention to the positive stimuli in the environment, in this case the boar, died out because they failed to identify the threats around them, i.e.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: the snake.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: So in the past, this negativity bias was actually a useful adaptive response.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: The issue comes that today it makes you pay way too much attention to like what's wrong with you.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna use wrong in like quotations for like what's wrong or what you actually perceive as wrong with you.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we all have like attentional filters, right?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: So in any given moment, you're pretty much bombarded with more stimulation than your mind can actively process.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: This has only like been made worse since like social media.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I, you know, being what when I'm turning 29 in like a couple weeks, I don't think I could like the the people who are growing up or like the the teenagers now with the social media and the comparison, like they have it so much worse than we did.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know how I would have done it being bombarded with like having Instagram as like a 13, 14-year-old.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually so glad that that's not like a thing or that wasn't a thing when I was young.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, but in order to function in the environment that is like super saturated with all this like stimuli, your mind filters out almost all of the information around you, like because there's just way too much, there's way too much for your brain to process.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what is called attentional filtering.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So a side effect of this like attentional filtering is that the world ends up looking like whatever it is that you're focused on.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you are not like actively paying attention to how your toes feel in your socks, however, now that your attention's been called to it and to your toes, you notice them, that's the attentional filter in action.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: That shows you that like before you weren't paying, you know, any attention to your toes and now you are.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the combined effect of like this in the media means that your mind isn't as good as it could be as really processing reality.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: First, your mind is much more likely to pay attention to what's wrong than what's right.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the negativity bias.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Second, your mind is forced to filter out almost all of the stimulation in any given situation because there's just way too much, and that's like the intentional filter.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And because of this, your mind actually has a tendency to view you as being far less like intelligent and good looking and capable and charming and ultimately worthy of love than you actually are.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then this is like further made worse by a media culture that preys on fear and an advertising culture that strives to make you feel small unless you're up to date with all the latest trends or you're you're doing this or you look like this.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, simply put, if you are having trouble loving yourself, there is nothing wrong with you.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually a side effect of like our modern world and you know the status of everything right now.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, loving yourself is a skill that can be learned and mastered.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the first step is like realizing the truth about your importance, the truth about your importance in this world to other people, like and something I always like to tell my clients, and something we do in well nourish, and I've said this so many times, and I feel like it has a really good impact on people, and it's it's always where I like to start is you are worthy because you are.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's it.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthy because you are born, like because you are.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's not like I'm worthy if I you know wear a size zero, I'm worthy if I have abs.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm worthy, you know, if I ate a healthy meal.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, no.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're just worthy because you are, because you are, and that's it.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, literally, that's it.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, right now, stop what you're doing, put a note in your phone, write this down to post it.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm worthy because I am.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Done.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: End of story.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Next question, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, everything in your life literally flows from your relationship to yourself.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So learn to treat yourself like someone worthy of love and respect and compassion, and your life will flow more effortlessly, more abundantly, and more joyfully than you can ever imagine.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you guys, this is like not only has, you know, I've been on both sides, and like now being on this side of it, I can say personally, but also with all of my clients, um, whether it's my one-on-one or everyone in well nourished, like they'll tell you the exact same thing.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Treat yourself like someone worthy of like, you know, content and disdain and indifference.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And each day will be a struggle to keep your head above water.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Each day will feel more and more difficult.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of water, I don't know if you guys have heard of the water experiment, but it's such a good experiment.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I like I love using this analogy.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I literally actually just mentioned this uh during the cacao ceremony that I hosted on Zoom yesterday.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, so they took two different um you can just Google water experiment, but I will briefly explain it now.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: So they had water, um, two different cups, and one glass of the water, one you know, cup of the water, they spoke really beautifully too.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: They said that like you are loved, you are beautiful, you're amazing, you are worthy, etc.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the other um like glass of water, they was like, you're disgusting, you're ugly, you're useless, all this kind of negative stuff.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then they actually examined the water molecule, so like the H2O molecule under a microscope, and they noticed that the one that they spoke positively to was beautiful, had the most beautiful crystalline structure, and was magnificent.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And the one that they spoke poorly to or negatively to was completely chaotic and it wasn't structured and it didn't have the same like organization, it was basically in chaos.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I really encourage you to like just Google water experiment and go to images and you'll see the two different images, and it's crazy.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And like that's just how they spoke to a glass of water.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Also, keep in mind your body is like 70% water, so like also that applies, but like think about how simple it is.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, your words are, and you have to remember that your thoughts become your reality, your words become your reality.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot heal a body you hate.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've said this like many times, but honestly, you cannot heal a body that you hate because every cell in your body is responding to your thoughts.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can eat the cleanest, purest, most perfect diet.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can take even all the supplements.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't heal what's in your mind and in your heart, you will never have the like the health in the body you dream of.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: It will never be enough and you will never be happy simply because of this whole thing, because of the way you talk to yourself.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, if you need help with this, this is what well nourish is for.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: But like time and time again, people come to me and they're like, I'm eating paleo, I'm eating this, you know, I'm doing all these things, I'm taking the supplements, but I'm still not getting anywhere.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I, you know, dive deeper and I see like how do you treat yourself, what's your emotional status like, it's because they're they're not speaking well of themselves.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're their emotions are not whale, they're you know doing it out of punishment, they're doing the out of hating their body and they hate their body, and then that's where you know they trip up.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we heal that and we start like healing self-love and we do all that, their physical body literally changes.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's like literally, it's so crazy, but your thoughts become your reality.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so the unfortunate part is that most people never put energy into their relationship with themselves, they drift through life and you know, acting as their own worst critic, working into like inhibit their potential, keeping their hearts and their minds guarded.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this counts kind of like dramatic, but I want you to pause for a moment because if you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself in your head, would you have any friends left?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And like honestly, before I started working on my relationship with myself, I wouldn't.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's like I definitely wouldn't have had friends if I had speak or would still be speaking now the way I used to speak to myself and my body and et cetera.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, even at a deeper level, have you ever felt fully loved by yourself or someone else?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you'd be surprised how many people's honest answer is no.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'll come back to that in a bit, but you know, or if I asked you about all the things you love, how long would it take you to list yourself?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember when I first, I don't even know where that quote came from, but I first saw it on Instagram and I was like, wow, like I I don't even know if I ever would have been put myself on the list or ever would have thought to put myself on the list, you know, and I spent like years of my life quietly but very cleverly telling myself that I'm not worthy and you know, I obsessed over things and you know, endlessly replaying, you know, embarrassing, you know, moments and like not forgiving myself for being human.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And like, if you can relate to any of that, don't worry.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that like you're human too.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, there's a lot that we can do to start healing this relationship with ourselves and start giving ourselves more self-love and everything like that.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so important because I often see people who aren't able to get that health that they dream of because of the years of self-loathing.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So think about all the things that you esteem about yourself, whether it's consciously or subconsciously.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you feel that you're not worthy of love or good things?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, these are false beliefs.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do you believe you deserve love, success, happiness, health?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, you can start cluing into your mind's tricks and address those like false beliefs that come up head on.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I tell you that without self-love, even if you have the body you always wanted or the health that you always wanted, it would never be enough.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: And our self-love like not only affects our relationship with ourselves, but it also affects your relationship with others.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: It affects not only how you show up in like romantic relationships, you know, whether it has to do with like intimacy, because if you don't love yourself or you don't love your body and you think it's, you know, ugly, disgusting, etc., whatever negative words that you're using, you're probably afraid of being intimate or you don't want to be touched, or you know, you're just not even maybe attracting the right partner into your life.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can't fully enjoy it because you're so self-conscious when you're naked, etc.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it also affects your friendships, your confidence.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be necessarily something romantic, even just like the way you show up with friends or the outfits that you put on in the day.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: You may not want to go out to social events just because you don't want to put clothes on because you're embarrassed of what you look like or you feel like you have something to be embarrassed about about how you look.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you even like avoid hanging out with friends.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, it even it shows up in like in your job because like if you don't love yourself and you don't have confidence in yourself, that's also gonna affect like your work performance.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention that, and I cannot stress this enough self-love is tied to physical symptoms.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say this one more time.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Self-love is tied to physical symptoms.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna list just some of the physical symptoms that are directly tied to self-love.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, weight, we know weight is obviously one, acne, addictions, whether this is like addictions to sugar, addictions to drugs, addictions to alcohol, adrenal issues, so this is like your cortisol response, fatigue, everything like that, amenorrhea, so a loss of your cycle, anorexia, binge eating disorder, um, and other eating disorders, asthma, asthma's tied to self-love, cancer, dysmenorrhea.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and for those of you who don't know, dysmenorrhea is basically cramps, um, severe cramping, that's tied to self-love, endometriosis tied to self-love, astigmatism, that's with your eyes tied to self-love, headaches tied to self-love, mono, psoriasis, eczema, vaginitis, like there's so many things that you wouldn't think are tied to self-love.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, digestive issues, very tied to self-love.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So IBS, IBD, um, SIBO, Candida, all tied to self-love.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's there's so many things.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when we think about our health, it's also important to think about self-love because you can't just heal.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, you need to do like the good nutrition and you need to like cut gluten out and the inflammatory things, etc.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: But you also need to work on the emotions and the self-love.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like you need to do both because otherwise you're like I said, you never get that that last puzzle piece.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what a lot of people miss is that even when they're healing or they have any of these disorders, they're not doing it from a place of love.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so you really need to like deep reprogram your mind into doing this and like uncover those beliefs and reprogram those beliefs and completely shift them and change them on a daily basis.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, if you need help, that's what well-nourished and one-on-one is for.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because self-love isn't often embraced as a concept that exists within us already, and that, you know, that we're already whole.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of us, like we believe that self-love is something that must be earned, that it's something that's like coming around the corner, or that it will arrive tomorrow, you know, when we get promoted, or when we get pregnant, or when we find the right partner, or when we have, you know, enough money, or we make this amount of money per year, or when we go on that fabulous vacation.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you get the idea.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the best part about, you know, this is that it's always there and it literally requires nothing.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Simply being present and aware is a gesture of love for yourself because it asks you to literally be radically open and receptive to every part of you.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not just the part of you that, you know, are easy to accept, but the the tougher features, like your inner critic and the part of you that gets angry.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the next time you feel like you know, you're doing it all wrong, just pause, breathe, and as best as you can, meet whatever shows up with kindness and remind yourself that like everything you need is already here.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's already present and it's all within you already.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to dive into some like more things that you can start doing in order to really like change this.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So number one is uncovering your shadows.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: So the first step to healing this kind of like negative, you know, shadow side is uncovering what trait it actually includes.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we project our shadows onto people, so like by observing kind of what aspects or traits that you you judge in other people, like for example, do you judge others like when they're lazy or inconsiderate?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Then chances are part of you fears that you're going to embody those characteristics.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so you've identified a shadow when just saying it or writing it down, you know, allows or kind of generates like a full body response.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you might find that you have many shadows and that's normal.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on healing like one at a time and starting like which whichever one like comes up with the most amount of like emotional charge.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then once you've pinpointed like what your shadows are, the next step is really to go to like the target core wound.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And to do this, I really recommend like getting into a meditative state.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um when and kind of like figuring out when you first learned that this quality was unacceptable.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Usually it's somewhere in childhood.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then you have to identify like who taught you to repress that quality.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it was a parent, a family member, a friend, um, someone who told you that it was an unlovable attribute, or you witness others being shamed for it, something like that.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's kind of like the next step after like the shadow is to find this core wound.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and uh if you need help, honestly, working with someone for it, this is what like I do.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: We also kind of like semi-do this in the ecosctic records.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Normally, core wounds do come up in the records.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want a record reading, I'm just DM me on Instagram.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: We can schedule in for one, but you need to find the core wound.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't find the core wound, then it's never gonna be fully healed.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then you really want to ask, you know, from here, what it's here to teach you.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, like with all challenges in life, we have to extract some type of lesson or some type of learning from the experience.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: The same goes like with any kind of shadow work.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can even give them like a name, such as like negative Nancy.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry to any Nancy's listening.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but like connect with them and ask them like what they are here to teach you and what they need to know in order to feel whole.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And like you can also journal this.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, there's many different methods, but like journaling is a good way to like see what comes up for you.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then after all this, after you see what comes up and you kind of understand what you're supposed to be learning from this, you really want to reinterpret the traits.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: So our shadows, whatever you know they may be, are never inherently bad.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's really the interpretation of them that really gives them that negative charge.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: For example, some may view being like opportunistic as a bad trait, while other people see it as being like smart and strategic.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the good news is that you can actually change your interpretation of the shadows to support ones that will.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Be like beneficial for you rather than you know hinder you.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So for example, let's say like being bossy is on your list of shadows, and you remember a time when someone at work called you bossy and then you interpreted that as like a negative critique.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, choose to embrace like bossiness as a single of strength.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, perhaps you made others feel, you know, fearful, or so they dealt with it by, you know, calling you names.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: But when you shift your perception of certain shadow traits, suddenly like the former like rejected aspect of you now becomes like a source of power rather than pain.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then after all this really comes like more of the deep work.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: So there's I know this was a lot, and like I know I ran through it kind of quickly, but like that's like a lot of the good basic work that you need to do.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then like comes the next level.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: So like the level up, the up level, like the deeper dive version, you know, of yourself.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you really want to ask yourself like, have you seen yourself for who you are?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can you grasp that your imperfections are what make you perfect?
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Have you owned that like reality that life, you know, has you know given you?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: And do you acknowledge that these struggles will like shape your life but also help you heal?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the most beautiful truths about the human experience is that it's never too late to become like the woman or the person that you you truly are.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's mostly women listening to this, but you can literally begin healing, growing, and flourishing now.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like as you're listening to it right in this moment, all it takes is like the courage and clarity to see yourself so that you can begin the process of tearing down the walls.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, as you do so, you open yourself up to like loving yourself, but also so much love and abundance.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, after you've done kind of all this work, you you're in that highest form of love, you're at that next level, and like every person was born with unique gifts, and these gifts can be anything from athletic deployments like to humor, to whatever business and everything in between.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so the real work of learning to love yourself is learning to see who you truly are and accepting it all.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And along your path, you will discover, you know, all those deep gifts that you were born with.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And like the highest expression of love for yourself in the world is sharing those gifts freely and abundantly.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you guys to like right now pause for a second and affirm this.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I always like, one of my top ones that I share with people and my clients is affirming I deeply love and accept myself.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is like that in that positive affirmation, it's like a little mantra, right?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's a phrase that you can repeat to yourself that's going to become part of you the more you repeat it.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so the positive part is important because we embody negative self-talk as well.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if we walk around with a mantra that we are not good enough, then that is what like the world will see, and you can understand why it's not a good thing, right?
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: So connect with the idea that you deserve to feel good in your body and then loving your body and nourishing it, you know, with nutrient-rich, rich, like whole foods that will make you feel amazing, you know, inside and out, and that's what will happen.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there are like so many other ways to love yourself.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, dancing naked helps you like with self-love.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, if you have not started dancing naked, take tonight or this morning, whenever you're listening to this, next time you're naked, like dance naked, being naked, sleeping naked, you know, dating yourself.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: When I have so many people come to me, you know, who are looking for relationships or looking for that perfect person.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I always ask them, like, well, are you dating yourself?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you treating yourself how you expect someone else to treat you?
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're not treating yourself and you're not dating yourself how you expect someone else to date you that way, there's just it's an incongruency, right?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't make sense.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, depending on your love language, if your love language is gifts, are you getting gifts for yourself?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Are you buying yourself flowers?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Are you treating yourself to like that latte or whatever that is?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: You need to date yourself.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: You need to show yourself that same love that you would expect someone else to, you know, to give to you.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: You have to love yourself first.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Always, always, always.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's also, you know, self-pleasure.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, go back and listen to the self-pleasure episode.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it's called Sex, Intimacy, and Orgasms.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, go listen to that one.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not engaging in self-pleasure, you need to start.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like tonight, just start.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like self-pleasure is one of like the best ways, not only to connect with yourself, but to show yourself love and to show yourself because when you're you can't be intimate with someone else if you cannot be intimate with yourself or you cannot be fully intimate, fully comfortable.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna lie, self-pleasure literally makes you love your body more, love yourself more.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: It also releases endorphins, it's also really good for your immune system because it helps your T helper cells.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, also think about it like that, but engaging in self-pleasure.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the self-pleasure doesn't also have to always end up in orgasm as well.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if it does, great, fantastic.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: But even just like the way you caress your body, or you know, taking a luxurious bath and then putting on like a very moisturizing body oil, like that's self-pleasure, or like sprinkling in little ways that you can be pleasure with yourself throughout the day.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe that's cooking a really like delicious meal um that's you know full of good nourishing ingredients, um, words of affirmation.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: If your if your love language is words of affirmation, like mine is my my top one is words of affirmation.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Are you giving yourself words of affirmation?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Are you like, damn, girl, like I look good today in the mirror?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're not doing that for you, you can't expect someone else to do it for you.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: But also, you shouldn't need anyone else to do it for you because you should be giving it to yourself first.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, give yourself those words if that's your love language.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I also encourage you to also be kind of like playful and sassy with it, like I just was.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, there's always a time and place like you can tell yourself you're beautiful.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Also make sure you look in your yourself in the eyes and look yourself in the mirror.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do this naked and like do this naked in the mirror while you do this, but also like be sassy with it, be playful, be flirty, like flirt with yourself, date yourself.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, depending on your love language, you know, spend time with yourself, do the gifts, do acts of service, do all these things depending on your love language, you know, to say more like love for yourself.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, other ways that you can show yourself love.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: Saying no when you need to, oh my God, this is so big for self-love.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And some things like I used to struggle with this a lot.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be a major people pleaser and always said yes to like things I didn't want to do, um, you know, kind of out of fear or again, out of people pleasing.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: But saying no when you need to is an act of self-love.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like saying no to hanging out or whatever it is, an event, something, a circumstance, a relationship, that's a form of self-love.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, being present, that's a form of self-love.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Making fun a priority, that's a form of self-love.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're hustling all the time and you're working, working, working, well then you're not showing yourself.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Gratitude, that's a form of self-love.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, forgiving yourself, that's a form of self-love.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we can all be tempted, you know, even I like, while yes, I am like, you know, very positive.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: I get lots of like DMs and stuff, like, oh, you're always so positive all the time when you're happy.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that is true.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I am happy a lot of the time, you know, and everything like that.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean that like you don't go through things and you don't have to like work on that every single day.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like I've had to work on, you know, being that person that's like always happy and radiating and glowing and everything you guys tell me I am, which thank you.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: But it's taken a long time to get there.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been by doing all of the things that like I've talked about, by doing the deep shadow work, but then also doing things like dancing naked and words and you know, self-pleasure and dating yourself and all of that.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, while I want to, you know, show you guys that like, yes, there's like, you know, a fawn eating from my hand because hummingbirds are landing, you know, on my shoulder because everything is like blissful and happy and all that, it's taken that time to get there and you have to uncover the deep work.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you have to go through the storm for like the rainbow to come out on the other side.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you're always moving through like the different levels of self-love and self-compassion.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: And there will be times, you know, when it makes sense to do the deep work.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to take those opportunities when you can.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: And there will be times when you have to accept your shadow self and you know, your daily habits and see, you know, how you can step more fully into your power.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, there are times where you can feel that kind of like that flow, and like then there's gonna be an ebb and another flow, and times where like the stress catches up on you, and even like your favorite person is gonna piss you off.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: And there will be times when like you lose someone you love and you'll be wrecked for months.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that doesn't necessarily mean though that you know it's not all gonna be okay.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: There are gonna be times where you wish you didn't have to deal with being human, but at the end of the day, we have to remember that we all chose this human experience.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: We all came here to learn learn lessons, and the practice of love involves working with yourself wherever you are at.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: Having a shitty day, accept that it's okay.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: In one of those stretches where like everything you touch turns to gold, beautiful, use it for good.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, your ultimate work in self-love is simply this step fully and boldly into your life.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: When times are tough, be gentle on yourself.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: When times are good, relish them, devour them, like savor the deliciousness of life.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And like as you grow closer to yourself, and in doing so, you'll notice that you actually become more powerful.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, you'll see that you can use everything you have in service of yourself and in service to others.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, share your gift, and then when you do this, everything in the world will burn brighter because of you.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you put in the right work, your body will like transform into what you're working towards.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like your ability to be in a loving relationship with yourself depends on the perspective that you hold moving through the world, and more specifically, like your moment-to-moment thoughts.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: These thoughts come together to form a belief system.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it is that belief system that creates our reality.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: So stop saying yes when you really want to say no.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, love yourself enough to respect your time and talent.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, find a way to meditate that works for you.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Meditate in the bathtub, dance, sit for 10 minutes and just breathe in light, savor your coffee, picture, you know, water coming down you in the shower, whatever calls to you.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I you know, something else I like to do that you can add, you know, into your routine is like a good morning, I love you practice first thing when you wake up.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, when you're lying in bed, placing your hand on your heart and taking a moment to simply feel this connection, to receive like this tender gratitude, you know, of self-care and like focus on your palm.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Feel your heart, feel how your heart is taking care of you, how it's like sending oxygen and nutrients to trillions of cells in your body, you know, that your heart knows how to take care of you and that you have control of it.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, taking a deep breath and then say like, good morning, and then your name, or good morning, I love you, and then your name.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And notice how it makes you feel and see if you can bring kindness and curiosity to however you are feeling, and then that there's no right or wrong way to feel, and trust that you are planting the seeds of like presence and compassion for yourself, and that these seeds will grow and strengthen those like neural substrates of self-love, and like send these seeds of blessings, you know, out into the world and offer the phrase like good morning, I love you, to literally anyone who comes to mind and recognize that you're never just practicing for yourself.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally everything we do has echoes in the universe.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when you heal yourself, you heal your partner, your kids, your mom, your dad, your sisters, your brothers, your friends, your community.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I do this, I know I'm literally healing all the other people in the building that I'm in.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if we create a habit of greeting ourselves like with love each morning, then these first moments of our day can literally transform the rest of the moments of our day, our lives, and the lives of others.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I know sometimes like it can feel like some things, you know, get in the way of self-care and like people avoid it because like I don't have time, you know, it's not a priority.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, whether you're like an entrepreneur, a mom, etc., we need to deal with this topic of time because, well, A, time is an illusion, but like that's a separate topic for a separate day.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: But when you think you have so much to do and you'll not never get it all done, or et cetera, you're exhausted and then you're not present, and everything honestly takes twice as long to complete.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then you feel guilty, followed by more exhaustion, and this actually contributes to like a self-loathing belief of I am not good enough.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this will actually keep you from expanding and growing and showing yourself self-love.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: So injecting a little bit of self-care into the day, even if it's taking the small amount of time, like five minutes to, you know, enjoy your coffee.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: When your mind has that space, your physical body actually has the time to regenerate.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, part of the brain that like uses this is called the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you do work that requires concentration, this part of the brain actually keeps you focused on your goals.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's like responsible for executive functioning and willpower, etc.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you take these breaks to refresh your mind and you show yourself love and you take these pauses, prioritizing self-care actually allows you to be like more present with your work, more present with your kids, and allows you to like better show up in your life.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: So allowing yourself to like have these self-care breaks um is not a waste of time.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, like self-care creates time.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: And keep in mind, like self-care requires you to like, it's a habit that you need to form, right?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: You need to start adding this into your schedule.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: You need to start making it a regular thing.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: So don't let the I don't have time kind of like take over and make you think that you don't, because I promise you that you do.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think it's like we all have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce, right?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think I I've seen like also that quote.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you guys found this episode on self-love, you know, helpful.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: Start with these things.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, if you need help, one-on-one and well nourished both touch on self-love.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, we do so much deep reprogramming along with all the nutrition.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if you need help, like loving yourself, loving your body, get into Wellnourished.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, the extended payment plan is open until December 10th.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then after that, it'll just be like the regular payment plan.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you can still get in, send me a DM or follow the link because I want to get you guys loving yourself.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I know it can be hard to do, and it can be hard to make a habit or to unpack a lot of these shadows and reprogram by yourself.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: It can be very hard to do it on your own.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you need the help, like reach out.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's make 2021 like the year that you love yourself, the year that you feel amazing in your body, that not only do you heal like your bloating, your acne, but you know, your energy levels, your PMS, all of that, but you also come back to loving yourself and just feeling happy and radiating that joy and abundance and getting everything that is naturally meant for you.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because having that dream health, having that dream body is your birthright.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like you are naturally meant to be that person and have that.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to remember and you just need to come back to that.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that is really what I'm here to help you do.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you guys enjoyed this episode.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, thanks again so much for listening.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed it, I would love for you to give it a five star rating and review.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate your reviews so much.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I will see you guys in the next episode.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: Bye, guys.