Latest / ok storytime / My husband and our coworkers are talking TRASH about me... so I exposed them! | Reddit Stories | EP3109

Transcript

My husband and our coworkers are talking TRASH about me... so I exposed them! | Reddit Stories | EP3109 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: My husband and our co-workers are talking trash about me,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: so I expose them.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: That's right, expose the trash for the trash they are.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: My 36 female, husband 39 male, and I are likely divorced.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Yay!
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: We've been married seven years, and a year and two
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: months ago, I gave birth to our daughter. My husband
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: and I work at the same company and at the
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: same department. Until very recently, I worked as an administrative
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: assistant there while my husband is a marketing associate. I
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: was recently promoted to marketing analyst, which is one step
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: below associate. My husband was part of an all-male friend
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: group in the department that I believe has helped him
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: at work. His friend group includes a VP of marketing,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: who we'll call Ted, Ted's boss is the senior VP
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: of marketing, Allison. I actually got to know Allison because
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I used to volunteer at the same school she sent
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: her kids to. I know enough about her to know
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: she hates people who disparage moms. By the way, this
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: comes from throw a little flower. 808, and if you
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to r slash
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: we don't have all your answers. We'd only tell you
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: what we would do, but let us know what you
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: would do down in the comments. As Opie says... For
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: about a year after I gave birth, I was focused
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: on getting myself back on track health-wise and professionally. However,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: my husband started getting distant after month six. Every day
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: it was no conversation, but you can't do anything spicy sleepily.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: None of my accomplishments seemed to matter to my husband
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: because he just wanted spicy sleep. He fell asleep one
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: day before his phone turned off. I saw a host
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: of notifications and then discovered a text thread between him
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and three work buddies complaining... about his apparently frigid wife.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, okay, yeah, people will do that. Look, if
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: you guys got bedroom problems, you got bedroom problems, but
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: don't get mad at him because he talks to his
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: friends about what's going on in his life. Just like
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: how people talk about the exact opposite of this. They go,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, it was so good. Like, oh yeah, friggin' that.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Girls being like, what was he like? Like, it happens.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: You get the download from your friends. Sometimes it's good.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's bad. But everyone, you know, I don't know.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I feel like he shouldn't be complaining about his wife, though,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: to especially people that actually know her and like have
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: to work with her.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: I think that's his coworkers, not hers.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: They used to work in the same department, but now
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: she works in the administrative part.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, I thought you went to a different company.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: No, they're at the same company. She's just in a
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: different like branch now.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: So it's like, I guess. Yeah, but.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I mean, you could talk about your life and, you know,
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, I haven't gotten any, you know, and blah, blah,
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: this long. But it's also like, OK, I don't I
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Don't message him just to slam dunk on a messenger
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: because like, ah, this is really it feels like it's
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: crushing me. I don't know what's going on. This is
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: what I'm going through.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I saw responses where everybody sympathized with him, saying they
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: hope he gets spicy sleep soon. And then one coworker, James,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: had the audacity to say something unhinged about me. Ted
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: liked that text. Then Ted responds, she's ruining your family.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Maybe tell her that and she'll come to her senses.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: My wife did. That's not really a nice thing to say. Yeah,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: I don't like that. This leads advice on ways to
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: emotionally guilt me. I was furious and started taking screenshots.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I was slightly wasted. And when I told my sister,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: she said, since he participated using our electronics, just send
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: it to Allison via his phone because she should know
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: what kind of people are handling company PR.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: So I did.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: So I did so without any message explaining it and
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: then also sent a formal email to H.R., i've.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: Honestly you're the worst i divorce you everything's we're done
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: that's crazy yeah you saw him you saw people messaging
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: like tell her she's ruining the family so then you
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: go and ruin his job and cut off half the
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: income of your family you're insane.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah that i would i would have had a talk
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: with him not going not going past him and like
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: tattling on him to like his company.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: There was some questionable ethics in terms of how he
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: was talking about you with his coworkers. Maybe you are
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: now firmly in the out of pocket category for having
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: done this. This is insane.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I then leave the house. The next day, all heck
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: breaks loose. My husband's group gets notices for meetings with HR.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: My husband tells me to stay away and that a
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: good wife would have kept it quiet. Now the dust
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: has settled. And Allison made it clear she was narrowly
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: outvoted when pushing for his termination. James was fired. Ted
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: was suspended without pay but reinstated. My husband was suspended, reprimanded,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: and moved to a different team because Ted doesn't want
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: to work with him. He claims what hurts the most
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: is that co-workers avoid him. My husband refuses to talk
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: to me. Never did he acknowledge how the text would
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: have made me feel.
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: That's the most insane thing you could possibly say.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Never once did my husband think how the text I
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: should have never seen in the first place would have
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: made me feel.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: It's true. And I mean, like, yeah, he may have
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: been talking crap all this stuff, but it's like that's
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: what you do with your friends, with people you trust.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: You want to you want to be able to. Say
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: what's on your mind. And they literally were just like, yeah,
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I just, you know, I haven't been getting it as
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: much as I've wanted to.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Let's crack open OP's group texts. Yeah. See what kind
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: of things OP's been saying about all kinds of people
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: and let them know. Unless they, maybe they say nothing
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: about anyone.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I doubt it.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: OP must be just a little school girl. Got her
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: church shoes on.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Angel OP. Instead saying I was snooping, it was private.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: At this point, I know we are headed for divorce,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: and I feel drained and humiliated over his texts. Am
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I the a-hole? Did I go too far?
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: One thousand percent, yeah, you did.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: He didn't get fired.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. Quick spell cast? May this never find me.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Jeez. I cast a million bees into your eyes. Why
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: did you do that? I understand you were like, you know,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: under the influence or whatever, but it's just like, girl,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: you just ruined your entire marriage over what? Like your
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: friend just, or over, your husband just, wanting to be
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: intimate with you.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Ruined like ruined your marriage ruined maybe his career for
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: who knows how long and to what degree no one
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: in the company wants to work with him anymore yeah
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: i certainly wouldn't either because it's like oh my god
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: we were having a group chat and now now i'm
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: getting suspended without pay yeah i'm staying away from you
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: and your crazy wife like he's gonna be followed this
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: he needs a new job but then when he goes
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: to the new job guess what the new job's gonna
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: do look into what happened at his old job and
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: then they're gonna see this this was your.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Husband Now, this reminds me of my aunt. She adopted
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: a child and was like very, you know, like wanted
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: her to have friends, wanted her to blah, blah, blah.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: And like she worked in the school, like her mom
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: worked in the school that she went to and would
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: see her like sitting alone and eating and would go
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: up to the other girls and be like, why aren't
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: you friends with my daughter?
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: No, no, no. It's like the surefire solution to make
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: sure none of these kids want to be friends with
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: your daughter.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: And she didn't have friends for a really long time
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: because her mom was like pestering these kids to be
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: her friend and they're like, I'm afraid of your mom
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: and I'm afraid of you now. It's like, that's not
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: how this works.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: At least the mom in your situation was just, I mean,
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: it was well-intentioned.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it just didn't go about the right way.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: It just totally backfires. This was just straight up, oh yeah,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: let me take my messy sister's advice and blow up
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: my own husband's job security.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: There's an update. I know a lot of other commenters
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: and direct messages were very offended and were rooting for
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: the worst for me. That my reality conformed to their
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: preferred reality. That I'd be fired, thrown out on the streets,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: banned from seeing my daughter while my husband moved in
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: a younger woman who my daughter will call mom.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, so that's all crazy and delusional. Neither of
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: us thought that at all. We just thought you're incredibly
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: self-centered in your marriage.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: All of these have been in either comments or messages
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I've received from Redditors.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: I get it.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I posted about me taking a stand and affecting a
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: man's career. So some people on here would like me
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: tarred and feathered.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: A man?
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: A man? It was your husband. It was your husband.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: It was the guy providing the income for your children
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: as well as you. You guys were working together.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. To bring in money. What are you talking about?
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I love how also she's clearly bringing up like the
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: one context that is the unhinged. Like, well, clearly those
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: people are wrong. She's bringing up those people. And probably
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: not the waterfall of people being like, what were you thinking?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, because these ones offended her most.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Jesus.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I am sorry to spoil that revenge fantasy for some
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: of you, but here's what has progressed since my last post.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I was in the process of filing for divorce, had
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: already begun speaking with and paying an attorney. My attorney
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: has had experience fighting contentious divorces in court, but says
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: our divorce isn't worth being vindictive. His tune is, it
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter... Who did what? With your assets, it's just
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: dividing everything 50-50. If either side wants to fight, you're
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: all going to run out of money before October. I
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: am back in the house and my husband is living
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: with his parents. Our plan is to alternate 50-50 because
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: even if our daughter can't understand divorce like older kids might,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: we still want her to stay under the roof she's
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: always known. My husband says he won't talk bad about
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: me to our daughter anymore. but won't pretend to be
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: my friend either. Or communicate with me beyond anything concerning
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: our daughter. We plan on downloading a co-parenting app, one
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: kind commenter recommended. Sure. If that's gonna fix this, sure.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Thank God you guys are getting divorced. I don't care.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: And the lawyer is right. It doesn't matter who did
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: what at this point. Just split everything right down the
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: middle and call it a day.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: My husband was texting coworkers on his personal phone, but
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: through a company issued Google voice number on it. They
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: had been in a group chat about work related stuff,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: but it devolved from there.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I love how you leave the context out so that
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: it kind of sounds like he was cheating on you.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: And really, he was just telling his friends, like, yeah, dude,
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know. My bedroom is, like, completely decimated.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I'm dry up in this bee.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: It's like the Sahara in there, dude.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: In terms of work, Ted hates me, but he seems
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: to hate my husband even more. Ted was the one
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: who requested that my husband doesn't work more and ignores
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: him when he speaks. Allison doesn't even ignore my husband.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: My husband... is on a PIP of sorts. And Allison
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: didn't tell me about almost firing my husband. She said
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: that to my husband. To the commenter saying Allison will
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: be fired, her uncle is a member of the board
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: of directors who once served as interim CEO.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, cool. So nepotism.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: So nepotism will not get her fired. She's there forever. Nice.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I just hate so much how her vibe is very
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: much like, well, he did this to himself. Yeah. Instead
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: of Taking any responsibility for taking what comparatively is like
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: somebody throwing like a rock at your car versus like
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: taking a semi truck and T-boning it. Like you had
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: all the opportunity in the world to be like, hey,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: we let's let's figure out how to get to the
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: bottom of this. Yeah. Because you shouldn't be talking to
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: your coworkers about this. I shouldn't be snooping through your
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: phone to find it. Like, we've got problems. We got
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: to work it out. We've got a kid.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Yes. Like, let's talk it out. Let's fix this. Let's
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: come up with a solution. Instead, you just went, what
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: is it?
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: You said, you said, you said, let me roll the
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: dice on maybe making my husband completely unhirable. Let me
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: let me roll the dice on making my husband financially
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: unstable in perpetuity. Maybe.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you went on gung ho to just
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: like ruin your husband. And that is just not it's
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: not a good marriage. He was just complaining that he wasn't,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: you know, get any. And you're like, how dare he
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: complain about that? Ruined his life.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Honestly, at this point, I'm doing the calculus in my head,
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: and it's like, I would have you just cheated on me.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: I would have rather had that. I would have rather
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: you just cheated on me. Instead of what? Making this
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: whole weird thing at work? No, just cheat on me. Now,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: everyone at work is like, stay away from that guy.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: That guy's toxic waste. You talk to that guy, and
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: you'll get written up and suspended.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: A former mentor of my husband pulled him aside and
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: said he should be aware the company is making cuts
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: and marketing departments always get hit the hardest in layoffs.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: He said not to think he's being laid off or anything,
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: but just a heads up that nothing is personal.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: So not true, by the way. Like that firing would
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: be 100% or we got to get rid of him.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So both him and I are looking for new jobs.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: For me, I have not been bothered at work. The
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: company has more than one location and Allison offered to
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: help me transfer to But for now, I just want
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: to figure out an amicable divorce since my husband has
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: simmered down. It's like you could have if you wanted
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: a divorce, you could have just gotten a divorce and
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: not blown up his entire life and be like, oh, well,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: we have to get a divorce now. You know, you're
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: angry at me. Apparently you don't want this either. So
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: it's not just me who doesn't want it like. You
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: try to like spread the blame to everyone but yourself, Opie.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, my sister is the one who told me.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: And I, and you know, then I talked to Allison.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Allison told all these other people. Ted doesn't like him.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: You know, it's not my fault.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: Clearly there is a lot that has happened in your
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: marriage that we have no clue about. But yeah, you
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: poured gasoline on the fire and now you're like, wow,
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: it's burning. How did this, how did this happen? Yeah. Um,
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: and if you didn't like the way he was talking
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: about you with his buddies before, oh boy, you won't
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: believe the kind of stuff that they're going to be
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: saying now. But that is the end of that story.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: And we have got another one coming up.
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: I've spent years being treated like a stranger by my
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: own in-laws.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, you know who I am. Stop acting like you don't. Okay,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: this one's a doozy. So buckle up.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: My mother-in-law is definitely my main problem, but father-in-law also
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: happens to be an a-hole. Now, isn't that fun? I,
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: 23 female, am married, 23 male. We were high school
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: sweethearts and have now been married.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: For two years. Wowee! Married at 21. I feel old.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: We have a 10-month-old son.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Wowee!
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: We are just zooming through life, aren't we? And another
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: on the way. Wowee! And another on the way doing me. Wowee! Oh, man,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: two kids, 23 years old. Okay.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: I've always loved my in-laws. They really were the picture-perfect family,
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: whereas mine were very dysfunctional. Self-absorbed mom, enabler dad, neither
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: of my grandparents in my life. My husband's grandparents, meanwhile,
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: were literally right next door.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: The way my.
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: Husband talked about his upbringing, I was so excited for
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: my kids to have that too. My father-in-law was pressuring
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: us for grandkids since before we tied the knot, so
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: we were excited to tell them they were going to
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: be grandparents for the first time. Where do you live
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: that your father-in-law was pressuring you for grandkids at 18?
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Because you had grandkids at 20. What do you mean? Yeah,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It was weird.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: There were some red flags through my pregnancy, but people
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: at my wedding and reception, even people from my side,
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: were coming up to me all night saying, I'd won
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: the lottery and not to ruin this. It was a
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: little bit hurtful, but I knew they were amazing people,
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: did you? All that to say, I wouldn't believe you
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: if you told me how my year was going to go.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from LeftTap901, and if you
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: And we've got some good advice and it's going to
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: be goofy. And if you've got good advice, put it
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: down below. OP says, oh, the minute the baby got here,
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: they were at the hospital. All their attention was on
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: the baby. They broke a lot of rules I'd sent
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: out right off the bat.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I'm a people pleaser. They know that.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: And I was going through too much to say anything.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: It wasn't even anything big. Just don't kiss him. Wash
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: your hands. Don't just pass him off without asking.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Ooh, ooh, I already hate when people don't wash their hands.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: And if people are trying to.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: Touch my baby with their dirty, icky hands, I'm gonna
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: throw hands.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like the number one rule. I remember I
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: knew friends who had babies and my sister-in-law had babies
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: and she's like, wash your hands, wash your hands. It
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: was like a very big thing. Yeah, no, it's crazy.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: We brushed it off. They were excited.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: We go home from the hospital. His parents, grandparents, and
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: sister are there, and they continue to be there. They
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: kept being there.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: All day. Every day. For over a week. Oh my god.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: And they take my baby the whole time. You got
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: a husband problem. You don't have an in-law problem. You
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: got a husband problem.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to agree with that. We haven't even
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: gotten through, like, not even half the story. Not even
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: a quarter of the way through. And I can see it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: I was in my room, in pain, sobbing, just wanting
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: my baby. But they had convinced me this was their
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: time to hold him. Because I get him all the time.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: What do you mean you get him all the time?
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: He's been there for a week.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Because, like, they don't actually live there. They'll always see him.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: It's like, he's my child. Yeah, he just got here.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Can I, I don't know, hold him or something? I
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: don't even know him yet. He's hungry, guys. Can I
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: feed him? My postpartum was completely taken from me. When
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I would try to.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: Take him back or get him to feed people, mostly mother-in-law,
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: would hover and immediately ask for him back. They always
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: said it was to give me a break. They saw
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: him every day for at least the first.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Month and a half.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: You need to put your foot down, girl backbone, and
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: tell him to back off. And also, husband, where are you?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is the husband doing this whole time? Just like,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: this is how they treated me.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: After the first two weeks, we started going to them
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: so we could leave if needed, because they wouldn't. Not
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: that it mattered, because they would guilt us into staying
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: with lines like, This would be the first day since
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: his birth we don't see him. Well, we've got to
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: have a first at some point.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's crazy. You're not the mom and you don't
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: live there. Yeah. Or you're keeping our grandson from us.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my lord.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: But that's not the worst part for me. They made
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: it clear that we are not to hold our baby
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: while they are around because we get him all the time.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: And the one rule I would actually confront them about
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: is treating me like his mother. Not one person beside
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: my husband gave me my baby when he was crying.
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: Everyone automatically gave him to my mother-in-law. Every time he cried,
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: someone would say, oh, baby needs grandma. It felt like
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: a knife through my chest. She ran to the baby
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: before I could get up from pain, and when I
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: tried to take him, she'd say, no, I got it,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: you go. When we talked to them, they said, that's
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: how it's done in their family.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: They're masquerading. They're overstepping boundaries. ah yeah yes yes i
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: was like wait but yeah yeah they're trying to mask
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: it as like oh my gosh like i just care
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: so much and i want you to be okay and
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: you need a break you need a break you know
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: you get them all the time you need a break
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: and it's like actually i would very much like to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: hold my child and have one freaking second with him.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: And this is not to blame you because these people
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: suck but also i am getting really annoyed with you
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: I need those pregnancy hormones, those that like angry outburst.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I need something from someone. I need you to put
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: your foot down. I need the female rage. Please, please.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Mama bear. Where's mama bear?
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: Kick him out.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: 10 months in now and she's still running to him
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: if she thinks she hears a cry. We talked to
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: them every few visits to try to give them a chance.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: And without fail, I cried there and back from every
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: visit because they expected that all of our free time
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: went to them.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: At a certain point, Stop giving them chances. Yeah. At
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: a certain point, it's like, actually, we're going to just
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: have him for the day.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah. We told them we can't do that. That to
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: maintain a healthy marriage, we need family time, just us.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: They still think that's BS. At a recent talk, my
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: mother-in-law actually asked my husband why I can't just go
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: to work with him and get our quality time in then.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: Why doesn't it take your wife to work day every day?
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: What about that? You can get your quality time in
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: the bathroom when you guys go together.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: And maybe even a lunch break once in a while.
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Have you thought about that? Hope he can do the
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: spreadsheets while your husband, I don't know, sends emails?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: We can work right next to each other.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: He's their irrigator on their farm, so he's always in
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: a car. And I get car sick so bad, but
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: they don't care.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: There's been more.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Like my mother-in-law asking hundreds of times to change little
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: one when we said no one but us would. and
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: trying to go behind her backs to each other to
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: get what she wanted. She still defends it after I
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: called her out on doing it intentionally, saying she thought
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: we were trying to be brave by refusing help.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. This has all piled up to last month.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: They got sick, then had a wedding. What?
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: It was the first full month I didn't have to
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: see them, and it was heaven. A full month of
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: no pressure. Just me, my husband, and our baby.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: That's sad. Yeah, that is sad. I really... don't know
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: but at this point it kind of is a you
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: problem yeah like you're not telling them so they don't
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: think that this is overstepping he.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: Is telling them but she's not actually putting consequences up
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: yeah you know there are there's boundaries but the boundaries
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: are like uh like automatic door at a grocery store
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: it's like hey don't come in here don't don't come
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: close the door i got to feel like his mother
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: for a full month straight That combined with being pregnant,
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: my brain finally cleared, and I told my husband something
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: needs to change or we need to cut them off.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Woohoo!
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: No more chances. So we went to talk to them.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: That's giving them a chance.
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, we had to tell them about the baby because
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: Esso needs to let his work know so he could
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: come with us to appointments.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, and they're his work.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: When they found out, they squealed and were so excited again.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: They gave us the bare congratulations, then went right into how.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: They will have a new baby to hold over the summer.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Heck no.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: So my SO made a time to go over and
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: have a blunt conversation. We said the last 10 months
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: have been BS and what they're doing has to be
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: intentional at this point. They did not take this well.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: My father-in-law started sobbing actual tears. We've never seen him cry.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: Well, I told him they'd taken my first time mom
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: experience from me and I'll never get that back. And
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: he pointed at himself and said.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Look what you're doing to me. You're tearing my heart out.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: I would not be able to not laugh. Look what
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: you're doing to me. You're tearing my heart out. This
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: tear is for you. This tear is for the baby
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I'm never going to hold.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: He said they hadn't done anything for the past month.
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: And I said, yeah, because we haven't seen you. We
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: ended up yelling at each other. It was obvious they'd
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: never been challenged like this. My mother-in-law decided to take
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: a more calm route, explaining how the personal things I've
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: told her about my traumatic upbringing have basically damaged me,
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: and that I was taught to be threatened by my
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: mother-in-law from my mom. She said that we're having issues
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: not because they've actually done anything wrong.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: But because I was taught wrong. Oh good, so she's
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: manipulative too. She's so good at this.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: That wanting my baby back when he cries and to
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: be treated as his mother was wrong to need. I
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: was so angry I stifled myself. They basically admitted they
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: never had any plans to not do what they wanted
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: with our son. I packed up my things and our
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: son and walked out, saying I'm done being the bad guy.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: My husband stayed to try to get them to listen
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: while I got the baby ready in the car. The
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: second I was out of the house, father-in-law told my
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: SO he needed to fix this, and he was the
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: only one who could, and that he needed to stand
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: up to his wife, and that if they couldn't hold
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: him one day to tell them, even though that's.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Bish, because I'm grandpa, and not anymore. Dang. This just
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: went from, I mean, it wasn't zero to 100, but
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I'd say probably 50 to 100. Later, my husband tried
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: to talk to my mother-in-law and she said, at some point,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: you need to stand up for us.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Both times, my husband said, we're a team. And all
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: we asked for was accountability and change. They don't listen.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: My father-in-law cornered him at work and said, he's done crying.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: And now he's pissed.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: I'm done crying. And now I'm pissed.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Look at this vein. That's you.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Look at it. You did this.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: We're going to talk to them one more time to
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: give them a chance to come to their senses. You
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: guys piss me off.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Look at this. You're pissing me off. Like, stop giving
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: them chances. They had almost a freaking year to do
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: all this.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: I mean, stop giving them chances. But then my husband
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: said we could go no contact. I cannot wait to
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: have them behind me.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Advice? Stop giving chances. Stick to your guns. Stick to them.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Stick to your resolve.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Stop. dancing around it and saying oh one more chance
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: oh well one more chance okay but now this is
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: the last chance for sure yeah it's like there comes
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: a point where i'd like because even me i'm a
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: pretty big pushover but there comes a point where i'm
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: like i am done with this now like it takes
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: me a while to get there but when i get
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: there everyone will know or and then i will you
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: know i will be the bad guy and i'm okay
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: with it eventually i i become okay with being the
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: bad guy and you're telling me that You took 10
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: months of this and it took you 10 months to realize,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: you know what? I can't stand for this anymore. That's
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: too long. Way too long.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: I honestly think, again, your in-laws suck, but I think
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: you guys need therapy. Because if you let this go
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: on for 10 months without just cutting them off and
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: giving them infinite amount of chances.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: You got to work on your backbone. Yeah, I mean,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I would have blamed it on them for, like, the
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: first month, maybe two. But then after that, it's like,
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: all right, now you're just kind of letting it happen
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: and just complaining on the side. Like, you haven't done anything.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: And it's like, you're just going to sit and complain
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: about it but do nothing. Like, that's on you then.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: We got an update.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: It's been a week since the initial blow up. Yesterday,
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: we started sleep teaching my 10-month-old to prep for the
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: new baby's arrival. I was in the middle of the
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: first attempt when husband gets a call from his mom.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: He ignores it, but I tell him to just call
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: her back. My anxiety won't let me not know.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I don't get it.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: So he does, and she says she wants to schedule
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: a time for all of us to talk. He comes
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: back to tell me, and I ask what is expected
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: from me in this talk. He said he didn't want
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: me there, that he doesn't want to put me in
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: an unnecessary stressful situation if it's just going to go
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: like last time.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: He's a sweetheart. Is he, though?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: Is he, though?
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know what he's saying behind your back.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: So I say, if I can't go, just go get
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: it over with so we can be done. I'll work
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: with baby while you work with them. A few hours later,
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: I got a call from my husband to let me
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: know he was done and on his way home. He
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: sounded so defeated.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Surprise there! Not.
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: When he got home, he looked like they ran over
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: his puppy. The whole time he was telling me what
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: was happening, he was wiping his eyes and had his
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: head in his hands. It was a lot of the
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: same stuff. My father-in-law said the only thing he regrets
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: about the last talk... is that he wasn't able to
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: say everything he wanted to. My husband brought up a
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: lot of the things they'd done wrong, like pitting him
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: against me, trying to get in between us as a
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: married couple. My mother-in-law said.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I understand why you'd feel that way, but that's not
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: what we meant. I don't care what you meant. So
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: then you don't understand.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: She does this with everything. She tries to manipulate us,
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: and when it doesn't work, she says we misunderstood her.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: No accountability.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: My father-in-law did admit he shouldn't have said my SO
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: was the only one who could fix this, but there
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: was no apology, just acknowledgement. When my husband said the
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: only way we could move forward was with a genuine apology,
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: he said he thinks both sides have done wrong. Our
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: wrong was not calling them out in the moment. Husband
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: pushed and he said he's already apologized in previous talks,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: which was a quick sorry and nothing changed. Before this,
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: they tried to use his memory against him. Father-in-law asked
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: how much they had actually done. My SO said, a lot.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: And it was constant. My father-in-law asked if he could
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: list them. And my amazing husband came prepared.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: He pulls out. He goes, and it does the thing
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: where it like bounces on the floor. No, for real.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I hate like. not to bring my ex into it,
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: but he used to always like name an example. Oh yeah,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: give me an example. And it's like, I would give
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: him an example. Well, that doesn't count. Okay, great. All right.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: It's very much like, The attitude of like when a
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: guy is like, oh, name three bands. Name three songs
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: in that band if you like that band. It's like
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: prove it. Yeah.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: And it's like, even if I do, even if I do,
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: you're going to be like. No, this is the most
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: popular ones.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Well, technically that was like, you know, a single. I
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: wasn't counting the singles. He started listing everything they'd done
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: that he could remember. They went quiet.
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: And my mother-in-law actually ended up cutting him off, saying
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: she doesn't think this was helpful and he could stop.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: I wish I could have seen it. No contact.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: You're done. Please. You've tried.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Please.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: No contact. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: story continuing. I feel like Sisyphus pushing that boulder and
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: you just go, oh, stop, stop. Just like let it go.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Like if you don't want to deal with it anymore,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: just go.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, actually, you're not welcome. Sorry.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, no, we're not home.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Like, you have the control here. They're your children. They're
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: your children. Don't let anyone convince you that these are
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: not your kids. Because that's... That's gonna... Not only, like,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: are you gonna be doing that with them, you're gonna
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: be doing that with other people as well. Like, you're,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: As a parent, people will try and butt their way
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: into your lives and will try to tell you how
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: to parent a child. Doctors will do this or other
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: parents will do this. Obviously, your family members are already
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: doing this.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Friends, family, teachers, everyone.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: Everyone's got opinions and you have to be able to say,
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: because you are so young, you have to be able
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: to say, I don't care if I look young or inexperienced.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: I am the parent here, so shut up. And then
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: walk away. And like explosions. Glasses. Mic drop.
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: At the end of the conversation, mother-in-law still wanted to talk,
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: but there was nothing to talk about.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I thought she didn't want to talk anymore.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: Father-in-law tried to give him a hug, and husband gave
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: a flimsy one-arm tap on his back and looked pissed.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Father-in-law immediately got in his truck and left. That's when
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: he came home. Fast forward to today, I got a
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: text this morning from my SO. His dad found him
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: at work and now all of a sudden wants to apologize.
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: He asked when he could see me and husband said,
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: if you want to apologize, text her. Father-in-law said he
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: wanted to drop by the house to see me in
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: person to make it seem genuine. Husband said, no, text
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: or nothing. I'm terrified to get whatever this is going
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: to be. I just got done finding peace knowing I
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: could go no contact with them because of the lack
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: of accountability and apology.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: You can go no contact with them even if they apologize.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: That's also a choice. If you're like, hey, I don't
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: actually think their apology is genuine, you don't owe them anything. Yeah,
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: just literally OP, you're just talking in circles now. Talking squares.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Get out of the shape. Like, I get it because
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: it's hard for me as well to, like, stand up
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: for myself and be able to, you know, set boundaries
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: and stuff. But the thing is, after 10 months, after
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: almost a year, I mean, you're complicit then. Then you
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: have to take accountability for it. It's not just them.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Now it's you as well. So, you know, and just
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: go no contact if that's what you want. End of story.
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: That's the end of this story. And we've got another
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: one coming right up.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite short king. We're going to
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: My belongings have been disappearing for months. My wife was
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: handing them out. All right, give them back. Trigger warning
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: for a potential OD. I, 26 male, have been married
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: to my wife, Emma, for four years. She was a
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: social work major who I met in one of my
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Gen Ed classes. I explained to her I was a
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: mechanical engineering major. She then asked if I could tutor
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: her in math, and that's how we began dating. Wow,
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: little Rizzler over there. Ooh, you're a mechanical engineering major?
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe we can do some one-on-one tutoring. I need help
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: with math. I need, I don't know how to do addition.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: One plus one equals us?
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: Ooh!
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: Afterwards, I decided to get my master's in Japanese to
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: help me gain more career opportunities. That's so smart.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: Cool.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: That's crazy smart. My wife thought it was a silly
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: idea and said she wouldn't be funding it, so then
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: we decided to keep our finances separate. It wasn't a
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: big deal since I was still working anyways. I mean, yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: if you're a mechanical engineering major, it makes sense.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: I just had less free time, so she was making
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: more than me during this time. It paid off, and
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: I recently landed a high-paying job, and with that came
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: more stress due to me having to travel to Japan often. Hmm.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I've really been wanting to get into gaming so I
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: invested in computer parts costing around $ 1, 500. Once I took
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: the parts out of the box, my wife noticed the
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: receipt and asked how I could be so irresponsible with
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: my money. I don't think that's crazy.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: No.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: I think it is expensive but I don't think it's
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: crazy if you have separate finances and you have a
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: well-paying job.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: And you can spend way more on a computer. I've
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: heard people spend like 5K. Oh, yeah, like computer parts? Absolutely,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: you can spend a lot more. Yeah, so this is probably, honestly,
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: the cheapest route.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: Also, I'm sure you're not doing a bunch of random
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: frivolous purchases all the time.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: I don't like how she is constantly belittling your, you know...
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: Like your hobbies or like the things that you want
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: to do.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: You know, your dreams. Yeah. She assumed I still made
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: the same amount. But when I told her that I
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: make triple that amount, she began giving me this silent treatment.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Y'all don't talk about money and you're married. This is weird.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: She wanted to keep financial separate. But like even then.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: You don't know anything about how much your partner makes.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe it's like the elephant in the room.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Like nobody talks about it. Yeah. Everyone kind of knows. Yeah.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't know specifically how much my partner makes, but, like,
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: I mean, he knows how much I make. But, like,
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: I generally know, you know?
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: And, like, we're not even married. By the way, this
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: comes from NoPayment4096, and if you want to submit your
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. And we're here to give some good advice, Goofly,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. So let us
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: know what you would do, and we're going to tell
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: you what we would. As Opie says, during this time,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: I began to notice my things were going missing. Oh, no.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go fishing with some friends one time,
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: and when I was looking for the rods, she must
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: have noticed and said she had given them to her uncle.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: I told her not to take my stuff without asking,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: but didn't mind too much because they were old, so
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: I just bought some more. I would have made a
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: huge deal about that. Yeah, I would have been like,
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: why are you taking my stuff and giving it to
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: your family members? I would have just said, hey, can
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: you get that back? Yeah. I'd be like, oh, did
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: you just let him borrow it? Because that's mine. Yeah, what? No,
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: that isn't a way bigger deal. Another time, I was
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: about to go to the gym and I was looking
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: for my pre-workout. I always keep three jars. Luckily, I
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: had a can of Monster and that helped. I asked
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: my wife when she got home from work and she
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: said she gave them to her cousin. Again, I'm calling
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: that out and I'm saying, why? I asked her to
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: reimburse me because they cost $ 50 a jar. She said,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I make enough to replace them and just ignored me
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: for the rest of the day. And there it is.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: She's jealous of how much money you make.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: So she sells your items to get even? Yep. I
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: guess so. And then she's like, well, you can just
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: buy more.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I wonder if she's actually selling them.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: And getting money. Well, she wouldn't be able to say
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: sell pre-workout if he's been using it. I don't know.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, to a family member, if it's like, oh,
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: there's like half in it. Maybe if she's doing it.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Give me like 30 bucks. I'll give you the rest.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Super icky.
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: And it feels like she had more money to begin with.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: And she was like, oh, well, I'm not going to
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: support you. And then once she found out OP had
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: more money and she didn't, you know, know for a minute,
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: she's like, oh, well, now I'm going to, you know,
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: make you pay for that.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: One day when she thought I was sleeping, she was
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: talking to someone on the phone explaining how she's going
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: to move our parents into our house. I mean, that's...
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: That's a cool idea. Are we going to talk about it?
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Were you just going to hide them in the walls?
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: And be like, oh, well, I gave them to our parents.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Where are they? You'll never know. I don't know. I
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: don't know. You're just like, where was that? She hadn't
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: explained this to me. We only have three rooms. One
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: is her office, one is my office slash game room,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: and the other is our bedroom.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: And I wonder which room they're going to get.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I really, really wonder what's going to happen here. I
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: wonder if everything that's gone missing has been in that room. Oh,
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: his gaming room. And she's just slowly clearing out the room. Oh, dang.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: saying she told the person on the phone, who I
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: assume is her sister, that she's going to give my
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: gaming setup to her brother to make room and that
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I'll get over it eventually.
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: So today I left work early to catch her in
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: the middle of her plans. And when I walked into
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: our apartment, her and her brother were then placing everything
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: into a box. I asked what was going on and
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: my wife, whose face was pale, said she was cleaning
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: when her brother came by. I asked him, did he
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: plan on taking my computer? Of course he denied. So
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: I went in the room to get the iPad we share,
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: and I looked through the text on there, and it
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: clearly shows my wife telling him when to pick it
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: up and to deny that he had it. divorcing her.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what is wrong with this girl?
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm going, oh, so that's strike three. Yeah. Oh,
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: you lied and tried to steal my stuff. Like you
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: got so mad that I spent all this money on
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: it and then just going.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: To give it away. Like, girl, what?
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: It's like, oh, you don't have to worry about your
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: parents moving in here because you're moving out.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: Literally.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I told him to get out and asked her why
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: does she think she's so entitled to my stuff. I
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: have never yelled at her and I guess this scared
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: her because she began to cry. Oh, shut up. She
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: ended up packing a bag and went to stay with
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: her sister. While she was out, I picked up a
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: lock for my office. Smart. Her sister texted me calling
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: me an a-hole. I'm beginning to think I could have
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: handled this better. I'm looking for advice. And there's an update.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: And then you text her and say, oh, I'm an
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: a-hole because your sister was trying to steal my stuff
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: and give it to family members without my permission. Give
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: me back my freaking pre-workout. Imagine if he didn't hear
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: that and he came home regular time, saw all his
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: stuff was missing. I mean, it would have been way worse,
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I feel.
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: Also.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: The brother was supposed to deny that he had it.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: So what was she going to say? Exactly. Like, oh,
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: I just got rid of it. I just sold it. Yeah.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Or was she going to say, like, someone stole it
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: from our house? Or like, I gave it to my brother.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: And then he's like, I never got that. Wait, wait, what? Like,
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: what was the plan?
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Update. After about a week staying at her sister's house,
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: Emma called me and asked if we can meet up.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: No.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I agreed. And we met at a park. She apologized
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: for everything and said she thought she was doing what
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: was best for everybody. In what universe? Who's everybody? You?
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: She's like, everybody's what my family calls me.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: That's my surname.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: My nickname.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: I asked what if I just gave her expensive makeup
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: to my sister. She admitted that she would be upset.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I then asked why did she think it would be
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: any different for me? She didn't have a reason and
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: her sister told her how unfair she was being to me.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: We decided to give it another chance and she moved
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: back in. It was going good until she started moving
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: her things into my office. I asked her what she
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: was doing and she explained how she needed the room
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: for her parents. And then you say, sorry, when were
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: you going to mention they're moving in? Like, come on, girl.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: I told her no and that's not happening. I grabbed
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: her things and placed them back into her office. I
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: told her that they could move in, but my space
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: has to remain untouched. On top of that, We need
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: to determine how bills are going to be paid. She
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: called me a selfish knucklehead and then ran back to
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: her sisters. Okay, have fun over there. Yeah, have fun.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: You're not coming back. It's like, oh, I don't want
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: to talk about it. Oh, no, he's calling me out. Oh, God,
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: I had to run away. And she chooses to flee.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: It's not effective. Yeah. I guess her sister told her
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: she was being inconsiderate once again. And apparently they got
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: into an argument because the sister refuses to take their
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: parents in and said she's tired of hearing about her problems.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: I agree with her. Her sister has four kids. Wow.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: So she's like, well, he won't let me bring our
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: parents in. Can you just take them? I have four kids. No.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: I actually can't. If you want to pay for a
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: new house, sure.
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: It's interesting that Opie's sister-in-law was originally on Opie's wife's side.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: It was like, hey, like, OP, why'd you do that
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: or whatever? And now has seemingly completely changed up. I
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: don't think she gave the real reason for why she
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: came over. Yeah. And then said, well, you know, I
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: don't know. I was giving his stuff away. And she's like, huh? What?
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: You were giving his stuff away?
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: And now she's like, and he won't let my parents
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: move in. And she's like, why would he want our
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: parents to move in?
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Like, none of that is justified at all. Her sister
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: called and told me everything and said that Emma went
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: to her parents' house. I tried to call her, but
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: she ignored my phone calls for two weeks. Relationship's over.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: I decided I couldn't live like this, so I filed
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: for divorce and handed it to her at her parents' house. Question,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: how long of no contact before you're like, we're broken up? Truthfully,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I think two weeks. Like, any time after a week,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: I feel. Like, and I'll give you a week to, like,
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: chill and be like, okay, whatever. I've calmed down. I'm
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: coming up with a solution. Let's talk level-headed. But she
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: took two weeks, and I feel like that's way too long.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: She called and begged me to forgive her. I told
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: her I'm not sure if I can. She refused to
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: sign it until we go to counseling. I refused and
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: said she had two weeks to suggest that. So now
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I live alone. She still refuses to sign the papers,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: but that doesn't stop the divorce. It just makes it harder. Yeah, frustrating.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: And there's another update.
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy. Probably just going to be like, trying to
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: divorce her. It's been a while.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, I really don't think you're going to take
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: her back. No, I mean, like everything that she's done
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: has been just worse and worse. Yeah. Update two, almost
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: a month later. So Emma was cheating on me. I
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: was literally about to say I wouldn't be surprised. I
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: wish I had said it.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: I was about to say I wouldn't be surprised if
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: she was also cheating on you.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: The rods and pre-workout didn't go to her family.
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: Of course it didn't.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: It went to her affair partner.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: Wait.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: I bet the freaking. The computer was going to go
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Playing freaking chess. That's weird.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Giving all of your husband's stuff to your affair partner. Oh,
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: what a piece of crap she is.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: And then she moves in her parents to his house.
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: And then she goes off to the affair partners or whatever.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: Wow. She had this all planned out. That's sick.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Ew.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: She needs help. I found this out when her parents
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: invited me over to their house. Oh, I bet she
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: never went to her parents' house. When her sister said,
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, she went to her parents', I bet she
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: never went. When I got there, Emma looked sick, like
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: she hadn't eaten for days. Her parents asked why I
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: threw her out, and that me neglecting her is taking
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: a toll on her mental health. Emma sat there, silently crying.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I explained that I never threw her out. And Emma
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: refused to talk to me for weeks before I sent
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: the divorce papers. I showed them text of me practically
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: begging her to come home so we can talk it out.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: I asked Emma what did she tell her parents. Her
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: dad chimed in saying that I went back on my
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: word about letting her brother stay with me.
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: He's like, when did she say her brother could stay
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: with me?
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: She never asked me. Oh my God. I thought you
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: guys were moving in. Oh, the web of lies. So
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: many lies. I asked what they were talking about. And
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: the reason we got into an argument is because they
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: were supposed to move in. Emma ran to her room
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: before she could be questioned. What a little freak this
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: girl is. Yeah, she's a little freak. Like, grow up.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: You can't even end a relationship like an adult. Yeah,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: you can't end a relationship. You can't talk like an adult.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: You can't communicate like an adult. You can't act like
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: an adult. I mean, come on. There has to be
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: a time where you grow up. Please. Please. Her parents
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: explained that they were happy with their home and had
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: no plans to leave. Then what was going to happen?
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: Who was moving in? I'm so confused.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: Like, I genuinely don't understand what her plan was. Her
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: lies were not going to add up.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: No.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: Like, you didn't even come up with like a backup plan.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: You just told everyone to deny everything. Yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: Like. What?
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: You're stupid. I then showed them the text from her sister, Mary,
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: explaining how Emma was mad at her because she couldn't
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: take her parents in. They were confused. I was confused.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: So her parents called Mary to have her explain. Her
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: brother Jake was also there. Emma just explained everything. Emma
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: was cheating on me. Jake caught her and kind of
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: blackmailed her. So he was a freshman in high school
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: and we live in a better district where basketball recruiting
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: is more likely to happen. what i don't know what's
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: going on here what i'm.
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry the brother blackmailed op's wife so.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: He could do basketball i don't know and also maybe
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: take his take his computer what she's like if you
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: don't tell my husband i'll give you his computer you
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: probably and it's like oh he's not gonna be bad
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: at that that's probably what she's like just deny everything It.
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: Wasn't deny that you took it. It was deny that
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: I'm in an affair.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Oh. That's crazy. The web of lies. Emma thought I
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: would be more inclined to say yes if I thought
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: it was her parents moving in. Emma's parents called her
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: downstairs immediately. She was listening and began to tell her side.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: Her affair partner's wife found out, so he thought that
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: relationship was over because she punted him out the house.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: He convinced Emma to quit her job because he got
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: a job opportunity in a different state, but he was
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: secretly meeting with his wife and they got back together.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: Secretly meeting with your wife is crazy. He hadn't put
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: in his two weeks yet, so his life resumed normally.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Oh my, I just got to get right into it.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: I'm on the edge of my freaking seat. Emma, on
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: the other hand, didn't even put in her two weeks
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: and just stopped showing up, so she was fired. This
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: woman is stupid. She's ruining her life. For what? She's stupid.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: For a man with a wife. For a man who
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: doesn't actually choose you. And then the man that does
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: choose you, you sell his stuff.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Or don't even sell it. Just give it away to
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: the affair partner. Like, here, take all these really nice things. Like,
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: she's been awful from the beginning.
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: The second that she said, oh, you shouldn't go to
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: get your master's in Japanese.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: First red flag. And when her affair partner told her
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: it's over, she went into a depression and tried to
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: call me so we can go to counseling. She's like, oh,
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: my backup. My backup. Do you want to go to counseling?
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Well, that didn't work out. Would you like to try?
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: I told her it's over and asked that she sign
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: the paperwork so this divorce can go smoothly. She begged
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: for another chance, but I just left her crying. Her
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: parents informed me later that night that Emma was in
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: the hospital from an OD of pills. Oh my God, girl.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: This can't.
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: What?
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: Like every every time I think that I know where
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: this is going, it goes 180.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what. Like, is that going to
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: help the situation now? You're just doing things to yourself. Oh, baby,
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I promise. I'll go to counseling now that you've tried
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: to end your life.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: What?
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: I just ignored it. Her dad is asking that I
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: come visit to show I care. I texted back, I
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: don't care. I don't know what to do. The moment
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: I found out about the affair, I fell out of love.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: But I feel cruel not going to visit her. Do
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: not visit her.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: I honestly don't even think that would help her.
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: No!
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think it would either. I think in this case,
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: you have to just remove yourself as quickly and smoothly
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: as possible. Because she's doing it for your attention.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: So don't even play into that because it will honestly
• 50:51
  Speaker 4: not help her recovery at all.
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: She's gone completely. bat crazy she's she's gone now that
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: is not the person that you met I mean it
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: was but not anymore yeah I mean that person's long
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: gone so yeah but that's the end of that story
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: hey it's Carly Keon's girlfriend here we're gonna get back
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: to the stories but here's three minutes of ads from
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: our sponsors.
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: My best friend's secret affair is forcing me to lie
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: to my own wife.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: 39 male, I've been best friends with my buddy, 38 male,
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: for just over 20 years now.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: That's a long time.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: We met working at a restaurant, and from the word go,
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: just got along really well. Obviously, over that amount of time,
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: we've been through some stuff together and seen some things,
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: the good, the bad.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: The ugly.
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: The dirty. And the hilarious. We've been there for every
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: grown-up milestone from meeting our spouses, having kids, losing loved ones, etc.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: Marriages have been great, and our wives and kids are
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: even close. They hang out without us. We've gone on
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: vacations as families. Our daughters even complain that they just
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: wish they were sisters so they could play anytime they want.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: They probably wouldn't like each other as much as they.
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: Do now, though. Fair enough. Kind of an all-in-all dream scenario, honestly.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: That is my dream.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: To have a sister who's not your sister.
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: Well, I do have one of those, to live next
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: to them and have all of our friends and families
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: be friends.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: Needless to say, after this many years at that level
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: of friendship, there really isn't anything we don't know about
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: each other or don't feel comfortable talking about, including the
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: fact that back in the day, I had seen him
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: hook up with a guy or two. Never bothered me,
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: to each their own, but his wife was also never
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: informed of his experience on both sides of the aisle.
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: Are you sure? It's a big thing like that. Are
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: you sure, though?
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: How do you know that?
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: We might have been like, hey, don't tell my wife
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: that I've been on both sides.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: Of the aisle. Don't tell my wife I've been playing
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: both sides.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I dip into the frozen section and sometimes I
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: dip into the fruit aisle.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Intelligent Idea 1619. If
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to r
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon. And we are here to read this story
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: and give you our thoughts. And hopefully they are helpful.
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: And if they're not, you should tell us. And if
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: they are, you should tell us. Tell us whatever you
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: want down in the comments. And OP says, While I
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: told him I didn't agree with the not telling, it's
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: not my place to say anything, and it's his relationship,
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: so it's always been something I still razz him about
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: in private when we banter. Oh, I remember when you hooked.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: Up with guys!
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Hey!
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: Banter, banter, banter!
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Hey! When he said raspberry, you give him raspberry.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: He goes, razzmatazz. He's like, all right, let me see
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: your tummy.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a little raspberry.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: Give me the razzmatazz.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Remember when you liked guys? Remember when you liked guys?
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: What do you think about these?
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: OP, you've got a weird vibe about you. I'll tell
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: you that much.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: But it's a secret I've been expected to hold without
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: consent for years nonetheless. It's also something he said he
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: doesn't care about and that he loves his wife and
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: they have the great sparse sleep life and he doesn't
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: act on it. So I've always written it off as
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: not my monkey, not my circus, moot point. So imagine
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: my surprise when he tells me he's been cheating on
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: his wife with a guy 33 male and it's kind
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: of morphed into a full-blown relationship slash affair.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, brother. Well, now you go, oh, hey, dude, I'm
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: not going to keep that secret.
• 54:26
  Speaker 4: And also, oh, I thought we were friends, but we're
• 54:30
  Speaker 4: not really friends because I don't, I don't.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Black when people do that.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: It sounds like your monkeys are getting out of your circus.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, my monkeys have escaped my circus.
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: The monkeys are in the circus. You're in the circus.
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: The monkeys are in charge.
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: The monkeys have replaced you, and now you live in
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: the circus.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: They will do to us what we've done to them.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: It's a planet of the apes all over again.
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: The affair has been going on for six months now.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: But I've only known for a few weeks.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: That's too long.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: As far as I knew, per him and his wife,
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: to my wife, remember, they're good friends... My buddy and
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: his wife had a great relationship, so I was shocked AF,
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: but listened to the whole story. Key points are, basically,
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: they met on Snapchat.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: How?
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: How?
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: Snapchat is the root of all evil.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: That's why I firmly believe if you are over the
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: age of 25, don't have one.
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: And I also agreed to go.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: I Snapchat like a very handful of people.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: Keon, you don't have to defend yourself. We know you're
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: a demon.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: I Snapchat my friend Drew, and whoever claims best friend
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: spot is Carly or Drew, and it's very funny.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Keon, you're a child. Just admit it. Hell yeah.
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: They met on Snapchat, and it ended up escalating from
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: online to in person and then to hooking up. The
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: guy knows he's married but doesn't ever want to be
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: married himself. He likes his alone time and has a
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: very busy career, so is completely fine with the situation
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: and not being the number one. They got gym memberships
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: together and started hanging out that way. My buddy now
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: has a key to his apartment and will work from
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: there a few days a week instead of going to
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: the office. His job has a hybrid work model, so
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: his job isn't in jeopardy as a part of this.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: This is bad. We tell your buddy and be like, hey,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: that's bad.
• 56:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you said there are no off-topic conversations. We tell
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: each other anything. So tell him to stop. Tell him
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: to tell his wife. Yeah.
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: Also, just like, You might be a J with a G, brother.
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: Might be a little J with a G, you know
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: what I mean?
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: Is this living your truth?
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: If he's bi or J with a G, he's still cheating.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: He's a full-time cheater. That's what he is.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: A lot of me wonders if he knows about the gaycation.
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: Maybe he just needs a good gaycation.
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: I think he's just a frickin' cheater. And I think
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: he needs to be honest with his wife.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: Folks, this is not how you gaycation.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: He says that it's actually made his relationship with his
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: wife better somehow.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: What?
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, shut up.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: That he is more relaxed and happy. I assume because
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: he's now getting to express something he's been repressing? Anyway,
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: I have now gone from a concerned and pissed friend
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: internally who's been coaching him through all of the various
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: ways and reasons that this is and could become even
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: more spectacularly effed up to completely torn up inside after
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: last week when he introduced us. And to be clear,
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: to be clear, when I say coaching, I don't mean
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: I'm coaching him on how to keep this up. I mean,
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: I've been talking him through the moral, ethical, physical, mental,
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: et cetera, things that are wrong about what he's doing.
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: And to essentially just make a decision, crap or get
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: off the pot, brother. In my opinion, he should be
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: the one to do the right thing. And that's what
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: I was hoping would happen in these last few weeks.
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: I haven't sat on this for months.
• 57:49
  Speaker 4: Honestly, last few weeks sounds like we're at somewhere in
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: the range of two to four.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: And that's too, too many.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. Your buddy's been sitting on it for the
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: last six months.
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, six months. Oh, my gosh.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I had to.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: And also, he's keeping this from his wife, who is
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: friends with the other wife.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: He's very generous.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: If my partner kept the fact that a guy that
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: I knew well was probably friends with was cheating on
• 58:16
  Speaker 4: his wife, who I was also very close friends with.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Like, they're all friends. I'm boozed. You kept that from me?
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: And also, you didn't. force him to tell her? Or
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: tell her yourself?
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: Essentially, what had happened was that he told the boyfriend
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: that I knew, which then became, well, I can't be
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: a part of your daily life or your circle at all,
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: but if your best friend knows, then why can't I
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: meet him? And when I showed up to a coffee,
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: not at our normal Starbucks, which I didn't think anything
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: of at the time, there they were. I stayed for
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: an awkward 45 minutes of small talk and then left.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: You're the a-hole.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: I disagree. I stayed more so because I was frozen.
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: Call it weak or whatever you want. In all honesty,
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: I think I was just in shock and sad. It
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: kind of became about me in that moment because there
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: was a realization that the whole thing was something I
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: could never even dream of doing to my wife or family.
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: That someone I knew and loved and thought more of
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: didn't have a problem doing it. and had dragged me
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: in without a second thought to me or my family.
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: And the broader implications. Our friendship and our lives were
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: fundamentally never going to be the same. Yes, I reamed
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: him out on the phone afterwards when he called me
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: to ask what I thought. Yes, I escalated my coaching
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: him out of this situation after that as well. Now,
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: here's where the advice comes in. This guy is like
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: a brother to me. I have also known and been
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: close to his wife for over 16 years because they
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: dated for multiple years before marrying. I'm basically an uncle
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: to his kids. Our wives and our kids are great friends, too.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: So as much as, yeah, he's the one effing up,
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: by proxy, I'm simultaneously protecting him, but also a massive
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: part of my own life, my family's life, and his
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: family's life. So my automatic response was to fix all
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: of it, not to end up aiding and abetting.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: That's what you're doing.
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: I disagree. In what way? There's so many more variables here.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: Speak on it.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: Of the kids.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: They're almost like a blended family. I agree. Their kids
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: are like sisters.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: I think that's what makes it worse.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: It makes sense that he'd be like, dude, you gotta
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: do something now to fix this. Do something.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: But I don't think there is any... I think OP's
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: advice right now is... seemingly stop doing this.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: Well yeah no that's that's what the coffee meetup was
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: of like the oh my god this is it is
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: it's ruined there is no fixing this this is it's
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: gonna explode thank you thank.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: You for this best friend it was bad when one
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: six months into it i mean already cheating all bad
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: but yeah he's six months deep maybe six inches deep
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: um and Also, he got a key to the apartment.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: If you're... This is for both of you. If you're... Okay,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: vice versa.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: Keon asked you, Dakota asked you.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: To meet up and go to coffee with him and
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: his affair partner.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: All right, immediate red flag, because Coda would never ask
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: me to go to coffee.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, there we go. I mean, neither of you
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: would cheat, but in this world, that actually is even better.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: Do we also have kids and our families blended? That's
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: the thing. Sure. Even if there were no kids.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: If there were no kids, I'd be like, blow it
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: up immediately.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not even asking, like, oh, do you tell on him, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 4: Do you get coffee with him and his affair partner?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: I'm just looking at... Honestly, probably, yeah.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: Just for the plot of it, I would be like,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: I gotta see.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: What the hell's going on.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's Dakota's answer.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: My answer is, I would go.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: I would go and be like, I know my answer.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing, but I'm like... brother, do
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: you see what's happening right now? You just invited me
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: to a coffee date to meet your affair partner.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to be clear, I'm not going to the coffee.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: Date to be like, hi, it's good to meet you.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: I'm going to the coffee date to be like, what
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: is wrong with both of you? You're both... Being terrible people.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: Not to just be like, you guys are so cute.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited for you guys. No, of course not.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: I would not do that.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: That's what OP did.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: No, that's not what OP did.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: He showed up at the coffee shop. And then just
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: kind of.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: Sat there like, I can't, I'm like, this is, what's this?
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: I'm walking out.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: The second I see my friend with the affair partner,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: and Blind One says he didn't know, regardless of whether
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 4: or not he knew before, the second I see the
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: affair partner.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 3: I'm going, bye. Bye.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: The big thing is, why are we at this point?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: Why are we not like, hey, dude, like immediately when
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: I hear when I hear I've had I've been having
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: an affair for six months. I found out a couple
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: of weeks ago. Maybe Opie's still trying to process this.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: Well, it seems so.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: But why are we at the point of we're meeting
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: for coffee?
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Like, that's crazy.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: Regardless of whether or not he knew he was going
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: to meet up with this guy and the affair partner,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 4: the second you see the affair partner, I'm like, what
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 4: are you doing?
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: Bye.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: You know what I do? I do go to the
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: coffee date. I get a hot, hot black coffee, and
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: I go.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, go. Shut up. That's a crime.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: I go, oops, I accidentally spelled it that way.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you're like, oh, it's you. Now I
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: know the person I hate. It's you. And also my brother.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: The hell's going on? What's wrong with you?
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: Did you think I would be happy?
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: But he was just in shock because he built his
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: life with this guy for 20 years. They both have families.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: They have kids that think of each other as sisters.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: All that is rolling through his head of like, oh,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: my God.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: That's not Opie's fault. No, it's not.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: He was just shocked. He said he was just stunned.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: It's fair.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: I would think it was a little bit more fair.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: if OP hadn't known anything and then showed up at
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: the coffee shop and just been like out of the
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 4: blue introduced, but because he's known for three, like two
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: to four weeks, I feel like I'd be like, dude,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 4: now you're, now.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: You're introducing me to your boyfriend. Yeah.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, we have a coffee date.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: Cool.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: I'm going to bring the family. I'm gonna bring the girls.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring the wives.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: I hate this.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: I fully can't imagine not going off at the coffee.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. But I also, you know, wouldn't
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: have seen 20 years of my life imploding in front
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: of me.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 4: Dakota, I guess I just don't see you reacting in
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: any way like this guy did because the second that
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: you find out about this.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: You're like, you're not coaching him. You're like yelling at him.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's like, it's definitely, I would probably give
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: him a shorter timeframe.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: But it would definitely be like, I'm not saying it.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: It's like, you'd say it, dude. Yeah. So, While having
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: dinner as an extended family this weekend and sitting at
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: the table, I zoned out from all of the guilt
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: building up by proxy and almost lost it. I love
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: his wife and his kids and want nothing but for
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: them to have the best life as a family. But
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: in that moment, I realized that my buddy unintentionally has
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: me not only keeping his secret, but also lying to
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: my wife, his wife, who is also one of my
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: best friends, and the rest of his family. Yep. I
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: don't even want to think what my wife would do
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: or say if she knew that I've kept this from her.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: Never mind, also met the guy. If I say something,
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: I blow up their marriage a large part of my
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: life and my wife and kids' lives. Beyond that, what
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: would my relationship look like with my buddy after? With
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: his wife? With my wife? After she finds out I knew?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I can continue to keep it
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: under wraps, the guilt I felt sitting at that table.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: As long as I know it's still happening, I think
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: our dynamics will change regardless because I'm honestly too emotional
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: about it after having to face his family. So either way...
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: I'm losing. He's put me in a super effed up position.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: I'm going to talk to my wife tonight and let
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: her read through all of this and we'll figure out
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: a plan together. Part of me even posting this is
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: because of how conflicted I am. But most of all,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: the hiding something from my wife. I've never kept anything
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: from my wife ever. What would you do? Tell? Give
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 3: him an ultimatum? Do I tell my wife?
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: What if she then tells?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: Well, then perfect.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: Do I just keep to myself and be a bit
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: removed and wait for it to end? No.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: It's never going to end.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: It's never going to end.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: It's been doing it for six months. Whatever you do,
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: the last one is not possible.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: I honestly, I got to be real. I don't know
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: if you tell your wife. I think you... Because you're right.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: Listen, the truth will come out sooner than later.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 4: And if anyone knows that you knew and didn't tell, genuinely,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: I genuinely think I would not be able to look at.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: Just for coming from me.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 4: Just coming from me, if I'm OP's wife and I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: find out that he's kept this secret from me and
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 4: was just going to let this all kind of play out, I.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: Am rethinking.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: But what if he tells you now and it's been
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: two weeks?
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 4: And he tells me now and he says, I've been
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: trying to fix it on my own. I was worried,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: but I realized I can't fix it and I need help.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: I'm upset that you didn't feel like you could tell me,
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 4: but let's figure this out together.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, tell your wife.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: And I always say it. It's like, oh, I'm torn.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: What do I do? Get another person in on it.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: If it were rules reverse or if it was, say,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: your wife cheating on you, Wouldn't you want to know?
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't you want to know?
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Am I the weekend?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: No, you're the tight end.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: I don't want to know. Yeah.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 4: I just, I just feel like you're, you owe nothing
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 4: to your, when you're in a marriage from what I know,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 4: I have not been in one. Your partner is like top,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 4: that family unit, top priority. And you do not hold
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 4: a secret that of that magnitude from your partner.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: At least that's the relationship I want to be in.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: It's just so, it's so hard for me because of
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: the kids being like family and then breaking that up.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: And if that, if that, if it all goes south
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: real bad, like that's the only reason I'd be like, yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: I guess you and your wife need to be a
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: united front of like, how do we navigate this in
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: a way that at least lets us to keep his
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: wife in our lives and the girls can still have
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: that level of relationship and, you know, like sisterhood. Yeah.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: Without all of this imploding and everyone hates each other.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think everyone's gonna be hating each other. It's
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: only the one guy. Oh, as of right now, both
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: OP and his friend.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 4: I think best case scenario, OP right now, because you can't,
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 4: you can't go back and like take anything back right now.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: OP goes to his wife, says, hey, I was, I
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 4: didn't know how to tell you.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: I was scared. I was trying to fix it. Couldn't.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 4: They together go to friend's wife, say, hey, we found
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 4: out this information. OP didn't know how to fix it,
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: was trying to get your husband to tell you to
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 4: stop doing it, wasn't working. we don't think he's going
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 4: to tell you uh we support you we're there for
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 4: you this is what's going on i feel like that's
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: best scenario going forward good luck yikes but that's
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: The end of that one