Why I’m Not Ruthless Enough for Academia: 20 Years of Feeling Behind

After two decades as an academic researcher, I understand that I will never be a good researcher.

I’ve come to realize that I’m not cut out for the opportunism and ruthlessness that seem to drive success in this field.

I’ve always felt a step behind, out of sync with what’s required to get ahead.

I am more out of place than anything.

Academia is an emotional career.

The longer I stay, the more self-doubt I have.

I “should” have left already, or should I?

While the only thing that will allow me to keep going, every day is to go for a swim, eat dinner with my family, and do a little bit of…

The skinny

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