Latest / The Inspired Speaker Network / How Perfectionism Is Keeping You Stuck: Start Before You Feel Ready, Featuring Kristine Goad |S2007

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How Perfectionism Is Keeping You Stuck: Start Before You Feel Ready, Featuring Kristine Goad |S2007 · The Inspired Speaker Network

• 0:01
  If you're tired of hiding your brilliance behind stage fright,
• 0:06
  scripts, or playing it safe, then you are in the perfect place.
• 0:10
  This is the Inspired Speaker Podcast, and I'm your host, Danielle Benzon,
• 0:15
  professional rebel, voice coach, and your guide to speaking with confidence, charisma, and zero BS.
• 0:23
  Around here, we don't chase perfection. We choose connection. So grab a hot beverage,
• 0:29
  warm up those vocal cords, and get ready to fall wildly in love with the sound of your voice.
• 0:36
  Let's get inspired. Welcome, everyone, to today's episode of the Inspired Speaker Podcast.
• 0:45
  I am so excited for today's guest. I know I always say that, but it's actually very,
• 0:50
  well, so far, it's always been true. So this is what's so great about my life. My life is exciting.
• 0:55
  This guest today, Kristine Goad, has been a friend of mine for many years. We have been
• 1:02
  friends for quite some time, and she has coached me. She's been my coach. I have been her client,
• 1:07
  and now she is part of the Inspired Speaker Network. And she is just such a joy. I have just
• 1:13
  been finding different ways to get her to stay in my life, because she is so wise,
• 1:19
  and she's so rebellious, and she's so fun. There's just something about her that is so
• 1:27
  unique and so special. And so I am so excited to share her company with you today. Welcome,
• 1:33
  Kristine. No pressure.
• 1:37
  Never. Thank you very much for having me. I'm glad we were finding time for this. I know you've
• 1:44
  been very busy. As have you, as are we all. Very, very busy. You were especially busy the last,
• 1:51
  oh, I don't know, month, because someone talked you into doing a podcast. I don't know who that
• 1:58
  was. A few months, yeah, because I'm on Episode 10, and it was a three-week lead up to that. So
• 2:05
  it's almost three months, Danielle. We've been live for a month and a half,
• 2:11
  just over. Yeah, just over a month, actually, like not even a month and a half yet. The podcast
• 2:16
  has been live. But yeah, it was a month before that lead up. And I remember it was so funny,
• 2:21
  because Kristine kept telling me, I've joined late. I'm so behind. And she joined late, as in
• 2:27
  like two or three days later than everyone else. But I had no way of knowing that.
• 2:32
  You had such a feeling of like, oh, no. So tell me, we're going to talk about what you do and who
• 2:40
  you are. And Kristine's podcast is Surfing the Edge. And it is such a wonderful, fresh way of
• 2:46
  looking at growth and self-knowledge. Definitely go check it out. She's wonderful. Before we talk
• 2:54
  about that, what was the experience like? And why on earth did you say yes to joining this network?
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  I used to work for a podcast company as a freelancer. I was creating the marketing
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  materials for the podcast hosts, all the things that you send out after the thing is live, right?
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  For them and their guests. And it was a machine. And I understood that it was a machine, right?
• 3:22
  I just, it was just, it was constant. You just get one podcast, you have to do the next one.
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  And I knew what people for that service. I mean, I knew how valuable it was and what people were
• 3:36
  paying. And I also, in 2020, had started doing Surfing Your Edge live videos on Facebook. Once
• 3:45
  a week, I would have a guest on and we'd talk for an hour. Sometimes we'd talk for 90 minutes
• 3:50
  because I just couldn't shut up. And I just kept meeting amazing people. And I loved that show.
• 3:57
  What I realized was that I loved our conversations and people learn an awful
• 4:02
  lot about my guests, but they didn't learn about me. So then I stopped and I was like,
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  because, well, then I tried, I tried to do solo episodes where you sit and stare at the little
• 4:16
  green light all by yourself for as many minutes as you can stand. And I found that without anyone
• 4:25
  holding me accountable, I did not do those episodes. And so I just kind of fizzled out.
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  When I met somebody awesome, I'd be like, Hey, I do this occasional thing. You want to come?
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  And we would get on Facebook and have a great time. And then I didn't do all the marketing
• 4:41
  stuff that came afterwards. It's hard to know all this stuff you're supposed to do.
• 4:47
  Oh, I know exactly what you mean. This is my life right now. Knowing all the stuff you're
• 4:52
  supposed to do. I wish I could, but I just don't have the time. It weighs on you.
• 5:00
  It does. It does. It does. It weighs on you. And I kind of let the show fizzle and I'm like,
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  someday I'll make it a podcast. And I had it on my two year list, I think, to make a podcast.
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  And you showed up completely off schedule
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  and said, I'm doing this thing and I would really love you to be included in it. And I was like,
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  okay, it's Danielle, whom I love and adore and who is an amazing speaker and amazing speaking
• 5:32
  coach. And I'm sure that I could learn a lot from her and her network is going to be awesome.
• 5:39
  And I'm going to be a founding member. And if I'm going to pay for all the services,
• 5:44
  this is probably the best rate I will ever find ever as a founding member of Danielle's network.
• 5:51
  Even as not a founding member, the price is still pretty good.
• 5:55
  Okay.
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  Just letting you all know. Just so everyone knows.
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  So I just, I have been in a summer of saying, yes, amazing things come up. They feel aligned.
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  The timing isn't right. It doesn't feel right anyway, but I'm just like, yes. So I said, yeah,
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  I've got the cash to get started. Let's see how far we can take this thing.
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  And that's basically what I did. And I mean, like several days later I told my husband,
• 6:33
  oh yeah, I'm like starting a podcast. Okay. Where did that come from? Actually,
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  he completely different response, but we don't have to go there.
• 6:43
  Oh, oh dear. Oh no. It was a good one.
• 6:47
  No, it was a great response. It was like, he's watched me for so many years and he's just
• 6:55
  wanting me to find success. And he was like, okay, I have this little chunk of money that I
• 7:03
  was thinking of investing. And instead of investing it, maybe I should invest it in you.
• 7:08
  Cause I love you. Fabulous. And we just couldn't agree on how he wanted me to invest it. I didn't
• 7:16
  agree with his strategy. And so anyway, but he went, so it kind of actually turned into a little
• 7:22
  bit of an argument about like, honey, I think I live and breathe my business all day, every day.
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  I can't have you just tell me what to do one day because you just can't
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  chunk of cash. And I love you Hans. And I'm sorry.
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  So he went upstairs and he came back down and he's like, you know, I think the message got buried.
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  It's like the real message is I love you and I believe in you and I want this to work for you.
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  Not that I'm trying to tell you how to do your, you know, make your life work. So but yeah, it's
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  been an incredible roller coaster and, and it just, yeah, I'm having to like build systems.
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  I know, right? You and me both.
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  I'm a rebel. I like to get up every day and say, okay, now what needs to be done? And what do I
• 8:15
  want to do? But the podcast machine has other ideas.
• 8:21
  It does. The podcast machine is always hungry. But that's not actually true. And you've already
• 8:28
  gotten pretty good at it's just because everything happened so fast that it did feel for a while,
• 8:36
  like we were going to be doing week to week forever, but already things are starting to
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  kind of people are starting to have a little bit more breathing room and starting to plan ahead.
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  And it is, it is slowly kind of settling in. It's just, it feels like we've been doing this for
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  months and months and months, but really it's only been since the 1st of July and it's now the 15th
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  September as of recording this. So, you know, it feels like it's been ages, but we just lived a lot
• 9:03
  in a short amount of time. Yes. Yes. You want to say that if you're going to start a podcast,
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  I think starting it fast way to go because otherwise you get too perfectionist, right?
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  I know people who have months of episodes in the can, and they're unwilling to actually launch
• 9:28
  and start going maybe because they don't trust that they'll be able to keep up the rhythm. Maybe
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  they don't trust that they're ready. But if you feel ready, we've already talked about this all
• 9:40
  over my podcast. Yes. If you are ready, you probably waited too long.
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  A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Just going, just talking to the green light, just,
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  you know, and then figuring out what you said afterward and making sense of it.
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  I think that's probably the only way I would have gotten this off the ground.
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  If it hadn't been for you saying we're going in three weeks, you've got to have six episodes,
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  four episodes within three weeks. And then we'll get a couple of weeks to do the last two.
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  And all the things that go into it, like the description, like what do you name the thing?
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  And how do you describe it? And how do you say who it's for? And all that stuff.
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  And anyway, so I think that going fast and jumping in and just putting it out in the world and seeing
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  what happens is probably what I would recommend. I've seen podcasters spend a year podcasting
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  before they knew what they were even talking about. So if you don't get, you never figure
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  out who you are and what you're talking about. I feel exactly the same way. I just did a talk
• 10:54
  on Saturday, my first version of what's going to be my keynote talk. And I didn't do as wonderfully
• 11:02
  as I wanted to. I didn't bomb, it was fine. But it wasn't what I wanted it to be because I
• 11:07
  literally made the decision of what I was going to talk about. I had a talk name, I knew the topic,
• 11:14
  but I hadn't decided the steps, the speaking steps until the day before. It's not that I didn't want
• 11:21
  to, it's just life happened. I really wanted to be more prepared than that, but just life happened.
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  And so I didn't include everything that I wanted to include. But I feel so good because now I have
• 11:31
  the first draft is already out there, and now I can improve. But if I hadn't had that experience,
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  if I hadn't forced myself to go up and give it a try, it was fine. It was cohesive. People
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  clapped. It was good. But if I didn't have that first rough draft, now I would still be working
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  on the first draft. And I wouldn't be like, okay, so I've had that experience. These are the bits
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  I remember, these are the bits I didn't. Okay, how do I make it better? And now I can improve.
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  And so if you can't improve until you start, you know what I mean?
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  Absolutely.
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  Yeah. So I feel, yeah. And also I'm in there with you. I'm part of the podcast network too. We're
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  all just jumping in together and learning as we go. And it's been such a cool experience. The
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  whole group has been, everyone's come together and it was so much more fun than I thought it
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  was going to be. It was stressful, but I thought it was going to be more stressful than fun. And
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  it was by far more fun than stressful.
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  I agree. I agree. And I think it just fits so beautifully in with the surfing your edge
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  philosophy. One of the things about Danielle, if you decide that you want to be on her network,
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  she would strongly, strongly, strongly urge you in a very gentle way to not bring a script.
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  She wants everything to be off the cuff. Yes, you can have an outline, you can have notes,
• 12:56
  you can have ideas about where you're going, but it's really important to Danielle that you show up
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  and speak from your heart. And that has been really powerful because you can spend,
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  like you just said, you could spend forever getting the pod, the script right. And then
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  you have to deliver it in a way that sounds entertaining and interesting and blah, blah,
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  blah. So I just want to say, some part of me recognized when you showed up and said,
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  this, we're doing this, you're coming along. Some part of me recognized that, yes, this was
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  the experience that I needed and wanted. Can I share something that you said to me in that
• 13:43
  conversation? Oh, yeah. Because we were talking about, is this the right time for you? Because
• 13:48
  you just said yes to a whole bunch of other projects. I knew it was something you were
• 13:52
  interested in, but I didn't know if it was a good time. And we were back and forth thinking about
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  it. And then you said to me, you said, well, I've noticed that I thrive best when I feel like I'm
• 14:04
  in over my head. And if you hadn't said that to me, I might have backed off. But you were like,
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  I've noticed that I thrive best when I feel like I'm in over my head. And I was like, okay, so you
• 14:15
  don't mind taking on a little too much, as long as I'm there to help you and catch you and make sure
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  we pick up all the pieces. I was never going to let you drown ever. But that did help me feel
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  like it was okay to push you a little bit. That was all right, because you said you do best that
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  way. My whole business is built around that. Yeah, exactly. Me figuring it out. I used to
• 14:44
  figure it out for other people. Now I figure it out for myself, and I help clients figure it out
• 14:50
  for themselves. It's such a present way to live, though, Kristine, to not live too much in the
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  future or the past. I think that, I mean, obviously, you don't want to be so bad that you're
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  drowning. But at the same time, being in that, wow, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna have
• 15:07
  to figure it out. It forces you to be very in the moment, doesn't it? It does. That's a beautiful
• 15:12
  thing. You find what's important, because you figure out what you're doing, right? You watch
• 15:18
  yourself. Oh, I'm doing this. So this must be the important thing. That stuff that I'm letting sit,
• 15:23
  that I thought was so important, must not really be the important stuff. Or I'd be doing that
• 15:28
  instead. Yeah. Yeah, that's a wonderful way of sorting through that. For sure. So
• 15:36
  speaking of people who are maybe languishing in perfectionism, you have something coming up.
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  I do. I am one of those people who loves the sun and tends to get kind of depressed and sad
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  in the darkness. And when September hits, I loved it when I was in school, because that was all new,
• 15:59
  and there was always new people and new things to do and new things to learn. But as an adult,
• 16:04
  September started to mean, oh, the darkness is coming. And I wanted to just kind of hibernate.
• 16:11
  Yes, exactly. Winter is coming faster than we want. And I used to just want to hibernate. And
• 16:18
  one year, I finished my Surfing Your Edge experience, group retreat and came home.
• 16:25
  And I'm like, well, I'm just going to slide right on through until January. And then I went, you
• 16:30
  know what, I realized, I'm not quite sure how I realized this, but there was still a third of the
• 16:35
  year left. And I decided that I was going to do 100 days of three different activities. And I
• 16:44
  only remember for sure what one of them was, because I'm still doing it. And that was I was
• 16:50
  going to learn Spanish on Duolingo. So I'm still doing Spanish seven years later, and French and
• 16:56
  Latin and all kinds of other things. But anyway, so the 100 Day Project starts September 22,
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  because on September 22, we will have 100 days left in the year. And I think it's fun for me,
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  for the last several years, I've done little things at the end of the year to kind of bring
• 17:16
  community together and do something fun and interesting that will slow down time for people
• 17:23
  so that they actually enjoy and are present in those those days and weeks and months.
• 17:31
  And I want to do it again this year, I'm starting the Surfing Your Edge salon, which is
• 17:37
  my community that lives over on Substack, where we hang out in person, well, not in real life,
• 17:45
  we hang out in virtual person, live. It's just not, you know, IRL. Yeah. Yes. And what we're
• 17:52
  going to do is start 100 Day Project where you pick like three themes, three ideas, three
• 18:01
  rhythms that you'd like to implement and experiment with and see how you feel doing them
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  and whether or not they take you where you want to go. And so we're starting, you know,
• 18:12
  when we roll into the new year, we're already in motion, we're already being who we want to be.
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  And we don't have to deal with any of that new year, new you BS that everybody is throwing.
• 18:25
  My year starts in November. Anyway, I love this because so if you're listening to this right now,
• 18:32
  the day that this airs, I think is September 24th. So it'll have just started. You're not too late.
• 18:39
  You can join whenever you want. This is not one of those like, oh, no, you're two days behind.
• 18:43
  Join anyway, because it will be such an experience. I was part of the Inspired Playground
• 18:50
  that Kristine ran a little while ago. I think it was last winter. And it was the same thing.
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  It was like, oh, we're all so depressed. Darkness is coming. And I just love you said a word that I
• 19:02
  want you to expand on, because it's so cool. The way that Kristine approaches life and
• 19:08
  productivity and routines, you talk a lot about rhythms. And so can you talk to me about that?
• 19:13
  Because, you know, we've been friends for a while. So I can tell people a bit about what your vibe
• 19:21
  is. Kristine is very, how do you say it? Like no bros here. What do you say? No bro energy?
• 19:27
  No bro energy. None of this A type, punish yourself, get up. If you want to get up at 5am
• 19:33
  because it feels good, do it. But none of this self-punishing, self-flagellating garbage that
• 19:39
  I think only ever works for neurotypicals anyway. It definitely doesn't work for me.
• 19:44
  It turns me into an absolute gibbering mess. It has never helped me in my life. And I don't think
• 19:51
  it ever will. If it was going to work, it would work by now. Because I'm over. I've been here
• 19:55
  for more than four decades. If it was going to work. So you have this beautiful, gentle,
• 20:01
  very kind of self-explanatory, like exploratory, very tolerant kind of,
• 20:09
  I just love the way you approach things. So can you talk to me about rhythms? What are rhythms?
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  I spent decades, according to my best friend from high school, who saw me go to college,
• 20:23
  I've spent decades looking for the perfect schedule. Kept thinking, oh, just got it all
• 20:29
  figured out in my head and then could follow the right schedule. I could do it all. Because my
• 20:33
  senior year of college, I did it all. I had three part-time jobs and I did 20 credit hours.
• 20:41
  I had no time to date, but I did. I, I, oh my God, I was a goddess, right? I just blew
• 20:50
  the last semester of college out of the water. And I've always kind of held that as like my
• 20:56
  standard, right? Yeah. That, that short sprint, that, that short sprint is how I want to live
• 21:02
  the rest of my life. I learned how to do it. I should just be able to do it all the time.
• 21:08
  I've always been looking for the perfect schedule. And, and my friend Tad is like, you know, you've
• 21:14
  done this over and over and over and over again. And it's just become, once I hit menopause,
• 21:20
  it just became really, really clear that that was never going to happen again.
• 21:26
  That consistency means for, to me, continuing to come back, right? You fall off and then you go,
• 21:36
  oh, right. I was doing that thing. And you go back and you start again and you just keep coming back
• 21:42
  to the things that matter rather than beating yourself up. If you're not doing everything
• 21:46
  perfectly every day, all the time. If I'm really good at making plans and then completely beautiful
• 21:54
  plans, exciting plans, they're so pretty when they're on the paper and they're all color-coded
• 21:59
  and everything. And then you close the notebook and you forget where the notebook went. And then
• 22:05
  then like six weeks, six months later, you're like, oh, look at this thing I was going to do.
• 22:12
  So I don't know. I just really think lately. And by lately, I really do mean like the last
• 22:18
  year and a half, two years that rhythms for me, I want to have rhythms that make me feel good. I
• 22:26
  want to have things that I fall back on that I enjoy. I want to keep coming back to the things
• 22:32
  I love and getting better at all the things when I can in small, like 1%, 2% increments.
• 22:41
  Yeah.
• 22:46
  Life is too short to keep beating ourselves up.
• 22:56
  Yes. Well, and I love that too, because it allows you to think kind of more in cycles,
• 23:02
  because I've noticed for me, it was so funny. I grew up in South Africa. I'm there right now.
• 23:06
  And there aren't really seasons where I grew up in Durban. There's a wet season and a dry
• 23:12
  season. And that's pretty much it. And they're like six months each. And they don't, the sun
• 23:17
  doesn't change, like it doesn't change much when the sun comes up and down. But there's about an
• 23:20
  hour difference between summer and winter. And it's very stable, kind of, there's floods and things,
• 23:28
  but like day to day is pretty stable. And then I moved to North America. And living in Canada,
• 23:34
  I couldn't keep a schedule because the seasons keep fucking changing on me. And like the amount
• 23:40
  of daylight hours I have keeps changing. And every time I was like, okay, I think I've got
• 23:44
  this figured out, the season would change. And I'd have to redo my schedule all over again.
• 23:48
  And it was so frustrating. And I never really got there. But I got to a point where I was like,
• 23:55
  okay, I'm going to have a winter schedule, and a summer schedule, and a transition schedule,
• 23:59
  because I could not do it. Because my energy levels depend so much on the season. I get
• 24:07
  sad in a very big way, because I'm used to getting sunshine, you know, 365 days a year,
• 24:12
  pretty much. So in the wintertime, I get really depressed. And I want to just cuddle up and
• 24:17
  hibernate and sleep all the time. And in summer, I want to just do 18 hour days. And
• 24:24
  so I love that you have this very gentle way of kind of allowing, you know, you can come back to
• 24:29
  things and keep coming back to things. And it becomes a more kind of holistic way of looking
• 24:33
  at, you're looking at a system. You're not looking at, this person does the exact same
• 24:38
  thing all the time. I'm not a robot. I'm not a machine. I get to be a system. And I get to work
• 24:44
  like a system. And I really, I've really appreciated the way you make space for,
• 24:50
  and when you work with a group, having been in a group that you work with, you really make space
• 24:55
  where everyone does something slightly different. And you just kind of fold it in. And it's so
• 25:00
  welcoming. And I feel like it doesn't matter what I say, no one's going to judge me,
• 25:04
  and everyone's going to encourage me. And this is because of you, Kristine,
• 25:08
  you have this beautiful energy of just like, everyone is welcome here.
• 25:12
  You keep it like a very strong space, but a very accepting space. And it's just,
• 25:18
  yeah, I really appreciate, I love working with you. I can't wait for the 100 day challenge. I'm
• 25:22
  totally going to be, I'm going to be there. I'm going to, I'm absolutely on board. It sounds,
• 25:28
  it sounds fun. So speaking of which, so you work with, you do all sorts of things. And I know
• 25:33
  you've talked about this on your podcast. Do go check out, Kristine has a two episode,
• 25:39
  her story, because we couldn't fit it into one episode, because it's so interesting.
• 25:44
  But tell us about kind of the name of your business and why you called it that,
• 25:48
  and how you work with people, because you have a couple of different ways that you work with people.
• 25:53
  Yeah, I call my business Surfing Your Edge, because like we've already established, I do my
• 26:01
  best work when I'm on my edge and having to figure things out when I'm in over my head.
• 26:08
  I don't necessarily say everybody has to be in over their head, but if you're pushing yourself.
• 26:13
  Yeah. And everyone has different levels of water, like comfort, you know, for some people,
• 26:19
  it's over here, for some people, it's over here, for some people, it's here, you know,
• 26:22
  everyone's different. I can still see. Kristine is like, everything's good. I feel like an
• 26:31
  alligator. Oh, yeah, but I do think that the good stuff happens when we do the things that scare us.
• 26:44
  And a lot of times we see fear, and we, you know, fear pops up. And we think that that is a stop
• 26:52
  sign. And it's telling us to turn around and go the other way. And I really encourage people to
• 26:57
  think about it differently. And that, hey, it's like a guidepost. It's like, yeah, this is scary.
• 27:03
  But that probably means there's something really good if you keep moving down, down this path.
• 27:08
  And I've found that to be true in my own life. And I've watched other people do it too. And I just,
• 27:17
  so that's what Surfing Your Edge is for me. It's, it's, I, oh, I haven't talked about
• 27:23
  Bigger, Bolder, Badass. Don't talk about it now. Talk about it now.
• 27:28
  Bigger, Bolder, Badass is kind of like my, my foundational coaching program. It's like
• 27:34
  people's first inner introduction to me. But we learned to dream bigger because we've forgotten
• 27:42
  how, right? When we were kids, most of us were encouraged, and, you know, told it was okay to
• 27:48
  dream big. But then as you get older, people are like, no, honey, that's not for you. You know,
• 27:55
  you can't do that. You need to do this. And so we learn to what I call reality size our dreams and
• 28:02
  kind of look around and see what feels acceptable. So in the bigger part of Bigger, Bolder, Badass,
• 28:09
  we dream bigger. Then once you start dreaming bigger, all of those fun little voices in the
• 28:14
  back of your head start popping up and going, oh, who do you think you are? Right? Those fun voices.
• 28:21
  Yeah. The ones that say, you should have done that 20 years ago, or, oh, you're not ready
• 28:26
  for that yet. And they can be saying both things at the same time. We work on, we deal with
• 28:34
  making friends with those little voices and learning to name them and, you know, pat them
• 28:40
  on the head and thank them for their contribution and then scoot them out the door. And then
• 28:45
  Badass portion, that's where I have you design a life experiment to go run. I thought everybody
• 28:52
  ran their life that way. I love this. You science your life. It's fantastic.
• 28:59
  But nobody else apparently very few other people do this. And I'm like, huh, okay. So I actually
• 29:05
  had to teach people. I have to teach people like how do you design a life experiment and what makes
• 29:10
  it go and what makes it successful. And so in that that portion, we call badass and badass.
• 29:21
  According to my very first group of people that went through the program with me was showing up
• 29:25
  as authentically yourself unapologetically, right being unapologetically yourself. So that's really
• 29:33
  what I'm here for. I say, I'm helping you surf your edge all the way to the bigger, bolder badass
• 29:38
  life. You know, you were born for, because we're here with on this planet with the purpose of being
• 29:46
  fully ourselves, right? We came to express, we came to let the world learn about itself,
• 29:52
  the universe learn about itself through our eyes and through our experiences. And the more we're
• 29:58
  willing to lean in and deepen our exploration of the world we live in, the more the universe is
• 30:09
  going to learn, the more we're going to feel comfortable and happy. And that's really what
• 30:15
  I'm here for. Oh, and I don't know if we have time for this, but there's one more little sneaky
• 30:19
  thing. We totally do. But before you go into your sneaky little thing, I love this. It's all about
• 30:25
  sneaky little things. Everyone listening, you can tell why Kristine and I get along so well,
• 30:30
  because it's all about being your authentic self. And it's all about the, you know, you talk about
• 30:34
  growing into the person you were born to be. I talk about being the pure expression of yourself.
• 30:38
  We are so aligned in that. And it's just, it's such a joy to be around someone else who's so
• 30:43
  interested in that because, you know, a lot of people pay lip service to honesty and authenticity,
• 30:48
  but you and I, I think really, this is the backbone of our business for both of us.
• 30:53
  Tell me about your sneaky thing. The sneaky thing is that you think you're doing this work so that
• 30:59
  you can have a better life, right? Yeah. You think you're doing it so that maybe you think about
• 31:06
  making your family's life better, right? But really, what I'm hoping is that once you
• 31:12
  really start stepping into your own agency and designing your own life, there are going to be
• 31:19
  ripples that are going to go out much farther than you, much further than your family, much,
• 31:24
  you know, further than your own lifetime, perhaps. And you're going to actually start
• 31:31
  changing the world. I really want you to step into your own agency so that you realize
• 31:37
  that you can be part of the bigger solution to the bigger problems. You don't have to solve them all.
• 31:43
  You don't even have to know which one you want to work on. But if you just keep taking the steps
• 31:48
  forward, and I think we can all change the world together. I truly believe that. I really believe
• 31:57
  that if, you know, it's kind of that within the reach of my arm kind of thing, you know,
• 32:02
  I don't need to know how I'm going to do it. I don't need to have this big plan. If I live fiercely
• 32:11
  by my morals and my standards and my ethics and joy and love, and I spread that as far as I
• 32:18
  possibly can, and I support as many people who are doing the same thing as they possibly can,
• 32:23
  I cannot believe that that will not change the world. Like that, to me, that feels
• 32:29
  inevitable, almost, you know, and we can create a movement. And we are, we are, we're here,
• 32:34
  we're talking, we are, we're, we're creating a community, we're creating a movement. And those
• 32:38
  of you who are listening, are getting excited about this comment, talk to us, email us,
• 32:43
  contact us, because this is, this is what very much what you and I are both. This is what our,
• 32:48
  our businesses are, our lives, our platforms, our movements, our podcasts. This is what we're about.
• 32:53
  We want to help people be better in their lives and themselves. And absolutely. But because that
• 32:59
  makes the world a better place. Right. You know, that's, that's, ah, I'm so excited.
• 33:06
  And there's no, there's no time to wait at this point. I mean, I think if you look around,
• 33:11
  you can see examples everywhere of people trying really hard to sow chaos and to
• 33:21
  destabilize things and to grab what's good for them and not care about other people. And
• 33:27
  so we don't have time to wait for everybody to get their shit together.
• 33:33
  Or feel ready. You know, this is another reason why, you know, start your podcast,
• 33:38
  start your business, do your thing, because talk to Kristine if you feel like you don't
• 33:42
  have enough support, because there is, there really is no time to waste. You're, the more
• 33:48
  time you spend trying to feel ready and safe, the less safe the world is becoming. So, you know,
• 33:55
  there is never going to be, not never, hopefully, God, hopefully not never. But, you know, within
• 34:00
  the recent, the near future scope, the safest time is probably now.
• 34:09
  Right. Right. Because I don't think things are going to get better immediately.
• 34:14
  Right. So if you're, if you're going to do it, if you're going to stand for something,
• 34:21
  make it count. Do it now. Yeah. Thank you. I love that.
• 34:27
  Yeah. We both got up on our soapboxes.
• 34:33
  Kind of happens when we're together.
• 34:38
  So, so yeah, and so Kristine does all sorts of things. We haven't spoken about all of the
• 34:42
  things that she does. She also runs retreats, literal, literal surfing retreats, because you're,
• 34:48
  you know, it's all about overcoming your fears. And one of your big fears is open water.
• 34:51
  So that's kind of one of the things that she does. She talks more about that in her podcast.
• 34:55
  Go check it out, because it's amazing. I'm not, we're not going to rehash that here,
• 34:58
  because she talks about it so eloquently over there. Just go listen to her. And,
• 35:04
  and you've got this podcast now. And so we've kind of gotten our soapboxes and I want to keep
• 35:09
  moving on this soapbox. What are you, like, what is the plan? You've started this podcast,
• 35:15
  you're chatting to people, you're sharing your story. Where do you want this to go?
• 35:19
  Like, what is your, what is your badass, badass-ier self podcast look like?
• 35:28
  My, my movement, as you've already called it, if I, you know, can be, you called it that,
• 35:33
  so I don't have to. Own it, own it.
• 35:39
  My movement really is about people stepping into their agency now rather than later. And,
• 35:45
  you know, if I never meet you, that's fine. But if you want community, if you want to hang out
• 35:51
  with other people who are exploring all of this too, you know, I'm building the Surfing Your
• 35:58
  Edge salon over on Substack, where people do get together. And I just, I keep, I can't quite find
• 36:07
  the word for it. It's not an army, but it's, it's, it's a movement. It's people. I don't like
• 36:17
  the vision of us all linking arms because that's company, a company, a community, a community.
• 36:25
  Yeah, yeah. A community that, that is, yes, a community. Let's go back to that because right
• 36:31
  now we are in silos. There's so much isolation. Yeah. And we really need community. We need to
• 36:38
  learn how to take care of each other online. We need to learn how to take care of people in our
• 36:43
  community where we live and start making friends with our neighbors and doing all of the things
• 36:48
  because that's the only way this world is going to survive. So, you know, that's, I guess it's
• 36:56
  sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough, like actual boots on the ground activism,
• 37:03
  but I really think that this is my activism that, that my urging you to put yourself into the
• 37:12
  world and you know, you can do it afraid. Yeah. And put yourself into the world and
• 37:20
  create the world you want to live in. Yeah. You know, this, you know, Johnny Clegg and Savuka.
• 37:27
  Oh yeah. Yeah. When I was in college, I discovered their music and oh yeah, there was a song. It's
• 37:36
  your world. So live in it. And I kind of understood it from this. That's the other side of the world.
• 37:43
  But here's my idea of what that might mean when this man is singing that to his son.
• 37:47
  I think we're all living that now, right? It's our world. So yes, it's a scary place in some,
• 37:56
  so many ways, but we have to find our joy, find our love, find our wonder, find each other
• 38:04
  and make it the world we want to live in. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, it can feel,
• 38:11
  and that's why community is so important because it can feel like, well, the world is so big.
• 38:15
  Some people are very powerful. What am I? But when we band together and we support each other
• 38:21
  and everyone has different strengths, some people are fantastic at organizing. Some people are
• 38:25
  fantastic at, you know, being boots on the ground. Some people are fantastic at supporting.
• 38:30
  We're not asking you to do anything, you know, dangerous to yourself or inauthentic to yourself
• 38:38
  in any way, but find your way of making your world yours. Because I mean, I believe we've
• 38:46
  only got one life, so I'm going to make the most of it. I don't want to waste it. I don't want to,
• 38:53
  I don't want to, you know, look back in a couple of decades and be like, wow,
• 38:57
  what a waste. I want to feel like, like I really lived and whatever that means. You know,
• 39:04
  I want to know I was alive. Yeah. Yeah. And that I didn't just sit back and let other people
• 39:12
  run my life because they're not getting anything out of that. And I'm losing the most important
• 39:19
  thing that I have. So, oh, I'm just so excited. There are so many other things we're going to
• 39:26
  talk about. I still have, I'm just going to put the seed in here now. I'm going to shame Kristine
• 39:32
  on the spot. No, no. Just one day, one day, maybe in the next few years, maybe in the next
• 39:38
  decade. I don't know. One day when we both have more time, I would love to do a little podcast
• 39:43
  segment with Kristine. Kristine and Danielle love books. I have that. I've been writing that
• 39:48
  down in my, that's been in my like my dream plans planner for a couple of years now. One day we're
• 39:55
  going to get together and we're going to talk about books on the internet. So we'll do it one
• 39:59
  day because we're both very, we're both very geeky, bookie people. I love that I'm on your
• 40:06
  vision board. You are. You are. It's not a pressure thing because it's definitely not
• 40:13
  going to happen soon, but one day we're going to do that. And I love, you know, I'm going to keep
• 40:19
  working with Kristine. I hope that you work with her. Keep listening to her podcast and mine and
• 40:25
  whatever you're doing out there, whatever you're doing, find ways to make it yours.
• 40:33
  Find ways to listen to that whisper inside of you. Find ways to be grounded and unique
• 40:39
  and express yourself. Whatever that means to you, just find it, find your rhythms. Don't feel like
• 40:47
  you have to be put in this box. There are people who will support you. There are communities to
• 40:52
  join. There are coaches who are going to nurture you like Kristine, not put you in a box, not say,
• 41:00
  you got to do it this way. You got to get up at 5 AM and do blah, blah, blah. None of that garbage,
• 41:04
  but just what works for you. Let's figure you out and help you be strong and you grow
• 41:10
  in the uni. Just that is you. And also there's a hundred day challenge starting right now.
• 41:16
  Well, starting a few days ago and join us there. I'll be there. Kristine will be there. We'll
• 41:22
  join us in that. There'll be a link in the show notes. Is there anything else you want to share
• 41:27
  with us? I'm just, I'm feeling so heartful right now. I'm just like, oh, I want to go out and
• 41:32
  dance in the streets, especially because it's raining right now. It'd be perfect
• 41:38
  going frolic in the rain. I'm just looking forward to the day when I get to hug you in person.
• 41:45
  We've never met. We've never met in person. That's crazy. We're such good friends. We've
• 41:51
  never, oh wow. And I just want to say one more thing. This is how Danielle and I met. I don't
• 41:59
  know if she remembers. I did a one minute speech on someone else's platform and I was inviting
• 42:10
  people to come have a call with me and Danielle raised her hand. She showed up, she shared,
• 42:17
  she listened. And I just felt so incredibly comfortable with her that I was like,
• 42:22
  okay, here's this proposal. What do you think? And she was like, I'm in. So after one minute
• 42:27
  of conversation, this woman had the courage to have a one minute of listening to me talk. This
• 42:33
  woman took a leap and said, I'm going to talk to that person and just see what that's about.
• 42:40
  And it's been amazing ever since. So you are one of the first.
• 42:46
  Yeah. And that was like five or six years ago. That was a good chunk of time ago.
• 42:51
  Maybe not, maybe four or five, not five or six.
• 42:53
  It was a good chunk of time ago. I don't know how time works.
• 42:58
  I have milestones and I measure off of those and if something doesn't happen between those.
• 43:04
  But I also feel like the nineties was 10 years ago. So what do I know?
• 43:10
  You know, that new movie from 2012. We are coming to the end of our time,
• 43:21
  but this has been such a joy and I hope you've enjoyed it. We're cool to hang out with, right?
• 43:25
  I feel like we're cool to hang out with. I feel like we have a lot of fun together.
• 43:30
  And Kristine has a lot of fun on her channel too, so go check her out. Thank you for being
• 43:34
  one of the not fearless, but brave and courageous founding members of this podcast network and this
• 43:45
  community. And I just feel like we're building something really solid. We're only a few months
• 43:51
  in, but I already feel the power here. And I'm just so excited about the future
• 43:57
  and that we're doing it together. And thank you. Thank you so much.
• 44:02
  Thank you. And you said generous things about me and the people I attract. And I think
• 44:07
  you attract also just the warmest, most intelligent, most thoughtful,
• 44:14
  amazing people. And so I can't wait to see where this network goes.
• 44:19
  She's talking about you guys. Everybody's listening right now. She just said those nice
• 44:23
  things about you. Excellent. Well, thank you so much. This has been so fun and I'll see you
• 44:29
  in a few days, most likely. Everyone listening, tune in next week for another exciting interview.
• 44:37
  Yeah. Thank you so much. This has been such a joy. It has. Thank you. Bye.