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The Big Day Saying I Do Only To Discover I Didn't From Author Lisa Cheek · Arroe Collins Like It's Live

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  Speaker 1: I totally get it. It's just something that we're not
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  Speaker 1: used to. When we think of Netflix, we think of
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  Speaker 1: movies and all these specialty shows. When you think of
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  Speaker 1: arow dot net A r r oe dot net, it's
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  Speaker 1: kind of like in the same thing, except the host
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  Speaker 1: is the one doing all twenty one podcasts. Ooh, is
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  Speaker 1: that good or is that bad? I mean we've got
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  Speaker 1: street speak with Alexa like it's live, unplugged and totally
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  Speaker 1: uncut that voice, Footy paradise, beyond the calling twenty one
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  Speaker 1: different areas for you to explore arow dot net A
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  Speaker 1: r r oe dot Net.
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  Speaker 2: Hi, Arrow, it is Lisa Cheek calling in.
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  Speaker 1: Look at you, Lisa Cheeks. How have you been.
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  Speaker 2: I've been good. You know, I'm moving back to North Carolina.
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  Speaker 2: Well what part I think Wilmington. We've been looking there,
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  Speaker 2: so I'm very excited.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that's that's a great place. That's the Hollywood of
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  Speaker 1: the East Coast.
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  Speaker 2: Is that what we're doing? It?
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  Speaker 1: Sure is. They make a lot of TV shows, a
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  Speaker 1: lot of binge watches and movies in Wilmington, and so
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  Speaker 1: it's always been the big draw. So you'll be over
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  Speaker 1: there with a bunch of creative people.
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  Speaker 2: I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. Hey, I got to give you some compliments here
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  Speaker 1: and that one. You really do make social media a
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  Speaker 1: fun place to be because what you share with your
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  Speaker 1: followers and future people to read your books. You make
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  Speaker 1: writing and just being you fun because I mean, we
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  Speaker 1: came trapped in this world with the Mark Twain's and
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  Speaker 1: the Hitchcocks that gave you a frowny little look and
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  Speaker 1: it's like, I don't want to be that writer. They
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  Speaker 1: look upset, but you make it look so fun.
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  Speaker 2: It is fun. Arrow, It's the most fun. Seriously, it's
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  Speaker 2: more fun than editing. I loved editing, and don't get
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  Speaker 2: me wrong, I did, but writers are just the coolest
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  Speaker 2: people and I have so much fun and it's you know,
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  Speaker 2: it's just me. I don't have to report to anybody else.
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  Speaker 1: You just spoke my street on that one. I like that. Well,
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  Speaker 1: your new book is very interesting because I've been in
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  Speaker 1: the wedding business for thirty four years, so I mean,
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  Speaker 1: you really strike a lot of things in here that
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  Speaker 1: make me go, been there, done that. Oh wow, I
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  Speaker 1: can't wait till she talks about this. So I mean,
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  Speaker 1: let's dive into this I mean. I mean, first of all,
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  Speaker 1: I love the idea that some people might say you
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  Speaker 1: waited so long to share your vals. I'm kind of
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  Speaker 1: jealous you waited that long, because I did mine at
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  Speaker 1: seventeen and thought what would have happened if I waited
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  Speaker 1: till I was in my forties?
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean, well, you can see all the
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  Speaker 2: different people I was with throughout my life, and they
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  Speaker 2: were all very different. And I think, you know, I
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  Speaker 2: finally figured out who I am by the time I
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  Speaker 2: met by the time I met Beg Johnson.
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  Speaker 1: And ye, that name Big Johnson is like all over
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  Speaker 1: my notes here because I'll tell you what I mean.
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  Speaker 1: It's like one of the things that I want to
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  Speaker 1: learn from is what other people can get from mister
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  Speaker 1: Big Johnson as well, in the way of how they
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  Speaker 1: can have a sturdy, firmer foundation as they grow forward.
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  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think for him, what he showed
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  Speaker 2: me that you know, he just knew what he wanted
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  Speaker 2: and he was very grounded. He was very He was
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  Speaker 2: an attorney, so he wasn't like most of the people actors,
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  Speaker 2: you know, people who were created like me, which tended
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  Speaker 2: to be a lot of who I dated in the past,
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  Speaker 2: and he was He was so different from anybody else
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  Speaker 2: that I had I had been with, and he was
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  Speaker 2: just very sure of himself that I was it. And Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it made a big It made a huge impression on me,
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  Speaker 2: and he let me be me. You know, I didn't
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  Speaker 2: have to be something. I was always trying to be
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  Speaker 2: something for somebody. Well, I just got to be me.
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  Speaker 1: You bring up a very interesting point because in my
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  Speaker 1: years that i've I've toured the Barnes and Nobles and
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  Speaker 1: sat with writers and poets and things, and one of
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  Speaker 1: the things that I've always brought up is how does
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  Speaker 1: the spouse react to your creative side? And the majority
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  Speaker 1: of them say I have to do it in secrecy
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  Speaker 1: because they don't understand it. How did you allow people
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  Speaker 1: to step into your world because creativity is given to
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  Speaker 1: you at birth?
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  Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting? I? Yeah, I you know, it's funny.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think he really realized how serious I was
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  Speaker 2: about starting a new career. And honestly, I didn't know
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  Speaker 2: I'd have this kind of success. It's really kind of crazy.
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  Speaker 2: I just knew that I liked doing what I was doing,
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  Speaker 2: and I mean, I think I'm going to go and
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  Speaker 2: get an MFA. Now I think I'm I just love learning,
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  Speaker 2: and you know, discovering new things and writing for me
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  Speaker 2: is definitely And like I said, I just readers are
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  Speaker 2: the coolest people. I love people who read books. They're
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  Speaker 2: interesting to be around.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you bring up a very interesting point about, you know,
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  Speaker 1: discovering new things, because that's exactly what Julia Cameron talks
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  Speaker 1: about in the artist way. Get in there, clean out
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  Speaker 1: that closet, and start something new. But the problem is
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  Speaker 1: is we like to stuff our closets with things that
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  Speaker 1: we're hoarding, and it's like, get rid of it. It's
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  Speaker 1: only mental juke.
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  Speaker 2: That's true. It's such a great fit too. That's wonderful.
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  Speaker 2: I love it. It's true. It's very true. You have
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  Speaker 2: to and one, you know, to be creative, you do
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  Speaker 2: have to find the time. With my first memoir, I
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  Speaker 2: was up at five thirty in the morning and I
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  Speaker 2: wrote five thirty to eight thirty, right, and then I
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  Speaker 2: had the rest of the day. And I also found
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  Speaker 2: that just by doing it first thing in the morning,
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  Speaker 2: I didn't beat myself up all day going what am
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  Speaker 2: I going to write? I didn't write to day whatever.
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  Speaker 2: It was like you just do it first thing in
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  Speaker 2: the morning, and then you get on with your life.
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  Speaker 1: It's me. Yeah, nothing happens inside this life unless I
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  Speaker 1: write first, and then I go into the studio. But
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  Speaker 1: then people always look at me and say, but you
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  Speaker 1: get in there at six thirty seven o'clock in the
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  Speaker 1: morning every morning, right, why? Yeah? Right? And because you
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  Speaker 1: can't eat, you don't know why, you just do it.
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  Speaker 1: You just make it happen. I mean, are you the
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  Speaker 1: same way?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean when I when I need to write,
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  Speaker 2: and plus once my problem is always, you know, getting
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  Speaker 2: in the chair. But once I'm there, I'm happy, Right,
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  Speaker 2: I'm super happy, and it's fun and my hardest I
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  Speaker 2: think the hardest part for me is definitely getting that
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  Speaker 2: first draft out. Looking at that blank page for me
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  Speaker 2: is very scary. But once I have words on the page,
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  Speaker 2: it's fun because it's all about making it better what's
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  Speaker 2: on the page instead of creating something.
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  Speaker 1: I think I can really relate with your book because
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  Speaker 1: there's even the title of the book really caught my
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  Speaker 1: attention because the big day saying I do only to
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  Speaker 1: discover I didn't because my first marriage, we were married
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  Speaker 1: illegally in the state of Montana, So we had to
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  Speaker 1: run to Wyoming. So and when we got there, four
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  Speaker 1: hours after we said I do, we ripped up the
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  Speaker 1: marriage license and we said, you know what, we're just
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  Speaker 1: going to be friends. We stayed and married legally, but
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  Speaker 1: we were just going to be friends. And it lasted
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  Speaker 1: twelve and a half years.
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  Speaker 2: Wow. Wow, that's a great story.
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  Speaker 1: But see, it's because you have a you know. And
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  Speaker 1: the thing about it is, Lisa, You're going to hear
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  Speaker 1: a lot of stories like this because we're not alone.
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  Speaker 1: We're just not alone.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, well I figured that. And you know the
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  Speaker 2: fact that I didn't get married till I was on
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  Speaker 2: I was fifty. It's funny. I'm meeting people who actually
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  Speaker 2: have gotten married for the first time, even later than
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  Speaker 2: fifty one. I met with sixty five. Yeah, yeah, you know,
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  Speaker 2: one hundred years ago. We were dead by this.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, so true. I love
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  Speaker 1: it when authors have fun. I really do. Hey, don't move.
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  Speaker 1: We're gonna be right back with Lisa Cheek, the name
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  Speaker 1: of the book, the Big Day, saying I do, only
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  Speaker 1: to discover I didn't, and the humor she puts in
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  Speaker 1: it so so fun. We are back with Lisa Cheek,
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  Speaker 1: so we do have to we have to talk about
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  Speaker 1: one thing only kids, And I giggled like a child
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  Speaker 1: and laughed like an adult being. I've been a mobile
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  Speaker 1: DJ for all these years and I came across this,
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  Speaker 1: a carefully curated playlist, and I right away I just
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  Speaker 1: started laughing because, oh, I've been in those situations where
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  Speaker 1: everybody created that music list. What was on your music list?
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  Speaker 1: That really would have you know? Made the DJ go oh,
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  Speaker 1: oh gosh.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't I you know, I did
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  Speaker 2: it all myself on No one requested any songs. That
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  Speaker 2: was all my favorite music, and I didn't. I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't have anybody question what we played. That.
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  Speaker 1: See, that's awesome. That's what we strive for. It's like
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  Speaker 1: it because you'll go, so, what kind of music you're
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  Speaker 1: gonna play? What would you like to hear? I mean,
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  Speaker 1: it's like you whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, no reason
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  Speaker 1: to go that way. It's your life, it's your day,
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  Speaker 1: and you try to put the air back in their
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  Speaker 1: lungs again.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it was great. Everybody did dance through our wedding
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  Speaker 2: and that was super fun. They were out on the
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  Speaker 2: dance floor most of the night.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, you also put some stuff in there that
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  Speaker 1: that brings out the childhood and a lot of people
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  Speaker 1: in the way that you you touch on the subject
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  Speaker 1: of skinny dipping, and right away, I'm going And the
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  Speaker 1: thing about it is is that everybody that we that
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  Speaker 1: we got gathered together the gravel pits and Billings, Montana
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  Speaker 1: as we were growing up in the nineteen latter part
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  Speaker 1: of the seventies, we are all still extremely close friends today.
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  Speaker 1: And when you talked about that, I'm going, Oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: it is a moment that everybody should go through.
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  Speaker 2: Oh isn't that sweet? That it does evoke so many memories.
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  Speaker 2: That makes me really happy that because that's why we read, right,
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  Speaker 2: is to either understand something we don't or to relate
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  Speaker 2: to them in a way that maybe somebody else can't,
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  Speaker 2: or you know, it's I just love that. That's the
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  Speaker 2: best part.
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  Speaker 1: Well, do you see marriage as a business? Because I
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  Speaker 1: mean that I guess I'm the weird one and I
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  Speaker 1: think that's the reason why I've been married for thirty
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  Speaker 1: three years now, is that it is a business. We
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  Speaker 1: operate it as. Yeah, because you and we both have
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  Speaker 1: separate accounts, but you still have to maintain your individuality.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's very important. And I think that
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  Speaker 2: was something that happened to me long before you know,
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  Speaker 2: I'm Chris my old Big Johnson aka Big Johnson, was
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  Speaker 2: that I would get lost. There was always sort of
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  Speaker 2: some sort of power dynamic, and there's not one in
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  Speaker 2: our relationship now because I was always trying to be
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  Speaker 2: something I wasn't, which made me not likable. So I think, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I think it's very important. It is a business arrangement
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  Speaker 2: because you have to decide what do you want out
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  Speaker 2: of life together.
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  Speaker 1: Every time you bring up the husband, I always want
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  Speaker 1: to sit there and say, oh please, it's the new
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  Speaker 1: sequel to Sex in the City. I know it is,
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  Speaker 1: because everything in this is like I want to see
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  Speaker 1: this on my binge watching screen. I don't care if
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  Speaker 1: it's on the Hallmark channel or if you're gonna put
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  Speaker 1: it on Hulu. I've got to see this book come
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  Speaker 1: to life somehow, someway.
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  Speaker 2: Oh you made my day. I hope that happens. I mean, honestly,
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  Speaker 2: I've written a couple of screenplays, and it's so hard
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  Speaker 2: to get screenplays made, and I've seen I just had
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  Speaker 2: two friends of mine their books got tipped up and
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  Speaker 2: they're with you know, the top funny man in Hollywood,
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  Speaker 2: Lawrence And I'm so excited for them because for some reason,
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  Speaker 2: IP seems to be coming out of books these days
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  Speaker 2: instead of original screenplays.
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  Speaker 1: That's so true. That, yeah, because there's a lot of
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  Speaker 1: movies that are on the screen right now that are
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  Speaker 1: that are from authors. And I mean, it's just And
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: what did Steven Spielberg say a couple of weeks ago
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  Speaker 1: that because of Obsessed And he said that the thing
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  Speaker 1: is is that the true movie makers of the future
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  Speaker 1: are your YouTubers and the ones that are doing stuff
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  Speaker 1: on TikTok. And and I'm thinking to myself, is that
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  Speaker 1: where these writers need to go. They need to go
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  Speaker 1: see who's doing what on these digital devices.
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  Speaker 2: That's that's very interesting. I don't it's funny. I'm not
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  Speaker 2: on TikTok. I keep trying to find people to put
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  Speaker 2: me on TikTok. I'm just too afraid to go on there.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, everybody tells me it's just a rabbit hole.
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  Speaker 2: You just like start watching something and then your whole
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  Speaker 2: day is gone.
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  Speaker 1: Too much clickbait, too much clickbait.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: I believe everything. Oh my god, birds fly and they
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  Speaker 1: also talk. Okay, show me one.
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  Speaker 2: I know, right, it is crazy enough. I mean Instagram
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  Speaker 2: is enough for me. Like if I get on that,
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  Speaker 2: if my day's gone. So but I do I think,
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  Speaker 2: you know, that is where everybody's going. In fact, I
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  Speaker 2: don't even think. I have, you know, daughters in their twenties,
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  Speaker 2: and they certainly don't watch network TV. They watch you know, YouTube.
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  Speaker 2: So where it has changed a lot.
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  Speaker 1: Where can people go to find out more about you, Lisa,
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  Speaker 1: because and when they get the book, they've got to
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  Speaker 1: go to your social media too, because you make it fun.
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  Speaker 1: You just you make that one thing. Like if you
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  Speaker 1: were to a period of bookstore like the the Professor
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  Speaker 1: Little Professor bookstore here in Charlotte or the Park Road
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  Speaker 1: shopping Center, and I that'd be like, I just got
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  Speaker 1: to go see Lisa. Well, what do you mean you
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  Speaker 1: just got to go see her? You've got to feel
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  Speaker 1: her energy?
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  Speaker 2: Thank you? That's super. I love hearing that, and I
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  Speaker 2: hope that once I moved to North Carolina, I will
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  Speaker 2: be at a bookstore near you for sure. In person,
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  Speaker 2: that sounds like so much fun. And it spent a
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  Speaker 2: long time. You know. I lived in Charlotte for three
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  Speaker 2: years and I went to Winthrop and that whole area
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  Speaker 2: is in fact, I saw my first I saw my
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  Speaker 2: first concert at twelve. I saw rush Ario Speedwagon and
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Blue Oyster Cult for six dollars and fifty cents on
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  Speaker 2: at the coliseum there.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I got into radio forty six years ago because
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  Speaker 1: of a Blue Oyster Cult commercial and I told them
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  Speaker 1: that in an interview and it was like, I was like,
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  Speaker 1: that was the only thing we talked about for thirty minutes.
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  Speaker 1: It was about that commercial and how they utilized that
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  Speaker 1: because they knew they were reaching people of creativity with
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  Speaker 1: everything that they did.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, isn't that cool?
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  Speaker 1: It is.
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  Speaker 2: That's wonderful. That's wonderful. Well, you can definitely find me
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  Speaker 2: at Lisiachek dot com and I am on Instagram Lisa
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  Speaker 2: Cheek author. When I look forward to anybody who wants
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  Speaker 2: to follow me, that would be great.
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  Speaker 1: I love it. Please come back to this show anytime
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  Speaker 1: in the future, Lisa. The door is always going to
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  Speaker 1: be open for you.
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  Speaker 2: I look forward to it. Thanks so much for having me.
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  Speaker 1: Well, welcome back to the Carolinas.
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  Speaker 2: I now I'm super excited. Thank you.
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  Speaker 1: You'd be brilliant. Okay, you too,