Latest / Voddie Baucham Sermons / Voddie Baucham - Leading As A Husband & Father
Transcript
- 0:08Speaker 1: Well, good morning. Praise God for another day and another
- 0:12opportunity to worship Him. If you have your Bibles with
- 0:17you this morning, we will open up to where we
- 0:21left off on last night in the Book of Ephesians.
- 0:24We're going to look today at Ephesians, chapter five and
- 0:29chapter six. Today we address the issue of a man's
- 0:36leadership in his home, his leadership of his family. This
- 0:41is a crucial topic for in fact, a man's leadership
- 0:47in his home is pivotal not only to the church,
- 0:53but also to the state. Was Manton who said that
- 0:58the home is the seminary of both the church and
- 1:03the state. The home is the place where leaders for
- 1:07the church are forged. In fact, a man is to
- 1:12be examined for leadership in the church by first looking
- 1:19at his track record of leadership in his home. It
- 1:23is a man's leadership in his family that is foundational
- 1:27to determining whether or not he is even qualified for
- 1:31leadership among God's people. This is crucial. It is also
- 1:36the home that is the place where citizens are forged
- 1:40for the state. The state has no charge, no responsibility,
- 1:45or no jurisdiction over children informing them as future citizens.
- 1:52It is the home that is charged with this duty,
- 1:56with this responsibility. It is the home that forges the
- 2:00character of future leaders, in the state where we learn
- 2:06to follow and where we learn to lead. So it
- 2:10is absolutely critical that we look here in Ephesians chapter
- 2:14five and six and see what it actually means for
- 2:17a man to lead in his home. First, listen to
- 2:20this from James Alexander speaking about the issue of a
- 2:23man and his leadership in his home. He is their head.
- 2:29He is such by a divine and unalterable constitution. These
- 2:34are duties and prerogatives which he cannot alienate it alienate.
- 2:39There is something more than mere precedents in age, knowledge,
- 2:43or substance. He is the father and the master. No
- 2:47act of his and nothing in his character can fail
- 2:51to leave a mark on those around him. A man
- 2:56is the head, master and lee of his home, and
- 3:02there's nothing he can do about that. He will be
- 3:05the lead effectively, or he will lead poorly, but he
- 3:08will lead. A man's failing to lead is actually a
- 3:13man leading in failure. This is not optional. There are, however,
- 3:20objections to the idea of a man leading in his home.
- 3:25There are those objections, of course, that we would not
- 3:28be surprised by in the culture at large, we know
- 3:31that the feminist movement has huge problems with what I've
- 3:36just said, the idea that the man is the head
- 3:38of his household, that the man is the leader in
- 3:40his family. Ari Houkiman, a leader in the United Nations
- 3:44Population Fund, has in fact referred to the breakdown in
- 3:48the family in the West as a triumph. It's a
- 3:52good thing, he argues. Why would a man say something
- 3:57like this? Ari Hoykuman actually argues, is that high divorce rates,
- 4:04out of what locked birth rates actually signal a triumph
- 4:08of human rights over patriarchy. In other words, male headship
- 4:15in the home is oppressive, and divorce and out of
- 4:20what locked birth rates represent liberation from that oppression. Again,
- 4:28it's almost unfathomable that anyone would say such a thing,
- 4:33let alone a leader of the United Nations. But if
- 4:36you're troubled by that, you don't know much about the
- 4:38United Nations. All Right, I said that out loud, did
- 4:43not oh came up back. Other radical feminists feel the
- 4:48same way. Linda Gordon, for example, Listen to this statement.
- 4:54The nuclear family must be destroyed and people must find
- 4:58better ways of living to get whatever it's ultimate meaning.
- 5:02The breakup of families now is an objectively revolutionary process.
- 5:08No woman should have to deny herself any opportunities because
- 5:12of her special responsibilities to her children. Families will be
- 5:16finally destroyed only when a revolutionary social and economic organization
- 5:22permits people's needs for love and security to be met
- 5:25in ways that do not impose divisions of labor or
- 5:29any external roles at all. That's radical. But wait, there's more,
- 5:40Andrea Dwarkin. Under patriarchy, no woman is safe to live
- 5:46her life, or to love, or to mother children. Under
- 5:50patriarchy or male headship, every woman is a victim, past, present,
- 5:56and future. Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential
- 6:00betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman.
- 6:10That's our cultural context. But you say that's out there. Certainly,
- 6:19that's the radical feminist people who don't even claim to
- 6:22know God. But there are also objections in here. Evangelical feminism,
- 6:32as it is euphemistically called, has objections to the idea
- 6:37of male leadership and male headship in the home. There
- 6:42are three basic objections, and we have to deal with
- 6:45these before we move forward. With this text here in
- 6:49Ephesian chapter five. And the reason that we have to
- 6:51deal with these is quite simple because they have gained
- 6:55much headweight in the church, and there are many in
- 6:59the church, even in churches that you would consider, you know,
- 7:02run of the mile conservative evangelical churches, some of these
- 7:05ideas have crept in and have become assumed for many
- 7:10of you as students. You assume some or all of
- 7:15this about the idea of male headship, that somehow it's
- 7:20an archaic concept, that somehow it's anachronistic for us to
- 7:24talk about men as heads of their household and to
- 7:27look at passages like Ephesians chapter five in that context.
- 7:31Three main arguments I'll give them to you and then
- 7:34we'll address them in turn. One the culture, two the curse,
- 7:41and three the confusion. Those are the three arguments. The
- 7:44first argument is the culture that Paul's admonition to male
- 7:48headship and Ephesians chapter five, and they have to deal
- 7:51with Ephesians chapter five. By the way, you give this
- 7:53just no way around it. You cannot assault this idea
- 7:58of male headship and the home without somehow dealing with
- 8:02Ephesians chapter five. So evangelical feminism deals with the Fgians
- 8:06chapter five, and the first line of argumentation is this
- 8:10is cultural that Paul here in Ephesians chapter five is
- 8:15merely making a cultural statement because of circumstances on the ground,
- 8:21as it were. Now. The problem with this argument is
- 8:24that the Bible teaches male headship and the home in
- 8:27a number of places, not only Ephesians five, but also
- 8:31Colossians three and one, Peter three, as well as Titus
- 8:35two and five. All of these places we see men
- 8:40called to lead as heads of their household and women
- 8:44called to submit to the leadership of their husbands. But
- 8:47more importantly and more foundational to this is the teaching
- 8:52in Genesis chapters one through three, which solidify the idea
- 8:57of male headship. So there is no way that what
- 9:01Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter five is merely some cultural
- 9:07accommodation that calls for male headship in this particular setting
- 9:11and circumstance, and does not see male headship as the norm. This,
- 9:16for example, does not take into consideration Paul's teaching in
- 9:19one Coristians chapter eleven, where he says the head of
- 9:22the woman is the man, the head of every man
- 9:24as Christ and the head of Christ is God. We
- 9:30also see in First Timothy chapter two that Paul roots
- 9:34male headship in the creation order. Not only do we
- 9:40see that argument, but also the argument of the curse
- 9:43that actually what we're dealing with here is male headship
- 9:48as a result of the curse. In Genesis chapter three
- 9:50and verse sixteen, when God looks at Eve, or it
- 9:56looks at the woman before she was named Eve and
- 10:01says that because of what she's done, the consequence will
- 10:04be that her desire will be for her husband, but
- 10:07he will rule over you. That's the idea that when
- 10:12God says that in Genesis chapter three and verse sixteen,
- 10:15you have male headship established as a byproduct of the curse.
- 10:21Listen to this. Her curse now was to be ruled perversely,
- 10:32to long for her husband and he to rule over her.
- 10:37She would want to be dominated by her husband, and
- 10:40he would submit to this desire. God does not command
- 10:44Adam to rule or govern his wife. Rather, the curse
- 10:49is Eve's. The ruling is a consequence of Eve's longing
- 10:54and her fall. That's the argument from even deelical feminism
- 11:00that this is a product of the fall. Now, there
- 11:04are a couple of problems with this. If this is
- 11:06a product of the fall, my first question is why
- 11:10do we find in Ephesians five, in Colossians three, in
- 11:16Titus two this same allusion to male headship referring to
- 11:22people who are in Christ who have been redeemed from
- 11:27the curse. If it's just a product of the fall,
- 11:31here's my second question to those who would argue that
- 11:33male headship is a product of the fall. My second
- 11:36question is this. Have you been in the delivery room
- 11:40with a Christian woman giving birth? You go, what does
- 11:48that have to do with anything? Well, okay, think about this.
- 11:53Male headship is a product of the fall. Therefore, when
- 11:57we are in Christ, that curse is removed and we
- 12:02no longer have male headship. But God also said to
- 12:06Eve there would be much pain in her childbearing. So
- 12:11if logically becoming a Christian removes the curse, there are
- 12:16to be screaming in the delivery room of non believers,
- 12:21and peace and calm in the delivery room of believers.
- 12:29I know better. I was there. I have heard the
- 12:39famous you did this to me. I have watched the
- 12:51woman whom I love with every fiber of my being
- 12:55turn into a creature who looked at me with eyes
- 12:58that said, if you I'm too close, I will kill you.
- 13:09Now wipe my forehead. The other problem here is that
- 13:24we see male headship before the fall. We see male headship.
- 13:29For example, in Genesis chapter two, the woman was made
- 13:35after the man male headship. The woman was made for
- 13:41the man. I will make him a helper suitable for him.
- 13:45Male headship. The woman was made from the man male headship.
- 13:51The woman was brought to the man male headship, and
- 13:55the woman was named by the man male headship. And
- 14:00if that's not enough for you, all you have to
- 14:03do is go later on in chapter three when Adam
- 14:07receives his curse, and God says, because you have listened
- 14:11to the voice of your wife, because you did not
- 14:20exercise your headship. If that's not enough for you, just
- 14:23go to Romans chapter five. Or Paul doesn't say, because
- 14:27of the sin of one couple Adam and Eve death
- 14:32under the world. No, because of the sin of one
- 14:35man Adam, Jesus is not referred to as the last
- 14:40Adam and Eve. He's referred to as the last Atam.
- 14:44Why male headship, So what's happening there? In Genesis three
- 14:52sixteen with the curse, I'm glad you asked. God says,
- 14:56your desire will be for your husband, but he will
- 14:58rule over you. Now, Fortunately, our evangelical feminist author here
- 15:03completely misses the nuance of that text. She says that
- 15:09somehow the woman is going to be pining for her husband.
- 15:13If you just go to Genesis, chapter four and verse seven,
- 15:16you see the identical phrase God says to Cain and
- 15:19Genesis four seven, Sin is crouching at your door. Its
- 15:24desire is for you, but you must rule over it.
- 15:28God is not saying to Cain, sin is yearning and
- 15:31pining for you, Oh, it loves you. No, he is saying,
- 15:40sins desires to overtake you, and you must rule over it. See,
- 15:46the curse is not male headship. The curse is the
- 15:50woman's natural rebellion to the headship of the man. That's
- 15:57the curse. Your desire will to usurp your husband's authority,
- 16:02and yet his authority will not be removed. And because
- 16:06of this desire there should be a clash between you
- 16:09and your husband. But in this clash, creation order will
- 16:13not be overturned. He will rule over you. That's the
- 16:18nuance there. In Genesis chapter three and verse sixteen. Male
- 16:23headship is not invented in Genesis chapter three. It is
- 16:27reinforced in Genesis chapter three. But the clash against male
- 16:31headship is what we see as a product of the fall.
- 16:37There is a third argument, and that is the argument
- 16:41of the confusion that we have completely and utterly misinterpreted
- 16:49this passage here in Ephesians chapter five, because we have
- 16:55forgotten verse twenty one. If you look with me, there
- 16:59in five loogat verse twenty one, and it reads submitting
- 17:11to one another out of reverence for Christ. So here's
- 17:18the argument, and you find this even in just very
- 17:22conservative circles. The argument is that because of verse twenty one,
- 17:29what we have is the idea of mutual submission between
- 17:34husband and wife. We don't have the idea of male
- 17:38headship male leadership within the context and confines of the home.
- 17:42But we have the idea of mutual submission of believers
- 17:47to one another, and they just have sort of different
- 17:50roles within this mutual submission, but the submission is mutual.
- 17:58That's the argument that we've completely mistaken what Paul meant
- 18:03to say, because we have not paid close enough attention
- 18:07to verse twenty one in our assertion of male headship.
- 18:15First let me give you my technical theological response, and
- 18:20then we'll look at this exegetically. My technical theological response
- 18:25to that assertion is not. But let's do a little
- 18:33exegetical work here, shall we. Couple of problems. One problem
- 18:43is the verb that is used here submitting to one
- 18:47another out of reverence for Christ. In verse twenty one,
- 18:50wives submit to your own husbands. Now, that verb there
- 18:55in verse twenty two is the verb carried over from
- 18:59verse twenty one. One basically says wives to husbands. And
- 19:02the verb there is hupo tasso. So it's actually a
- 19:05military term. And this military term refers to the voluntary
- 19:10submission of an inferior officer to a superior officer, or
- 19:15to a soldier, or of a soldier to a superior officer.
- 19:20That's what the verb means. It means that you submit
- 19:24to someone because of their rank. You submit to them
- 19:28because of the office that they hold. The problem with
- 19:32the idea of mutual submission is that it doesn't work
- 19:35with this verb. There is no mutual submission in military ranks.
- 19:43The captain does not come to the private and say private,
- 19:46there are some things that I'd really like to discuss
- 19:48with you. I really think we need to take that
- 19:50hill over there. But I know we're called to submit
- 19:53to one another mutually, So I'd really like to discuss
- 19:56with you private whether or not you feel like charge
- 20:00that hill over there as we mutually submit to one another.
- 20:04Private thing coming back and saying Captain, I really appreciate that.
- 20:07I really appreciate you honoring this mutual submission agreement that
- 20:10we have to one another. There's a machine gun up there,
- 20:14and I just really think, maybe, no, not the way
- 20:24the military works. How does the military work. Superior officer
- 20:30gives order, inferior salutes and executes. That's how the military works.
- 20:40It is not mutual submission, and that's the term. The
- 20:46term does not allow for the mutual submission interpretation. There
- 20:52is another problem. The second problem is that this mutual
- 20:56submission clause, supposed mutual submiss clause and Ephesians five twenty
- 21:01one does not exist in Colossians three, does not exist
- 21:07in First Peter three, does not exist in Titus two.
- 21:12So elsewhere where we have the headship of the husband
- 21:15and the submission of the wife, we do not have
- 21:18this mutual submission clause. So here's what evangelical feminism argues.
- 21:24You don't take all of these texts together and read
- 21:29them the way they normally read in all of their senses.
- 21:33You take this one text that has what appears to
- 21:36be a mutual submission clause, and you then superimpose that
- 21:42clause on your reading of all the other texts. That's
- 21:50the argument. Doesn't work that way hermeneutically in anything else
- 21:54that we do, but in this particular instance, that's what
- 21:58we're supposed to do. There is a third problem, and
- 22:02it's the immediate context broader context problem. In order for
- 22:06us to understand this, and we're going to get to
- 22:08Ephesian chapter five and mail headship, but trust me, this
- 22:11is necessary. The third problem is when you go back
- 22:14to this text and put it in context. Ephesians chapter
- 22:17five and verse twenty one is the end of a paragraph.
- 22:21I don't know about you, but generally when I start
- 22:24reading something, I go to the beginning of paragraphs, not
- 22:28the end. Maybe you do that me, I go to
- 22:31the beginning of paragraph. So Ephesian chap Verse twenty one
- 22:34is the end of a paragraph that begins in Ephesians
- 22:37chapter five and verse fifteen. When we get there, here's
- 22:42what we find very interesting. We have three commands. On
- 22:48the third command, you get excuse me, go to verse
- 23:03fifteen with me, three contrasts. I'm sorry, like, why is
- 23:14that not what I'm talking about? We get three contrasts
- 23:17on the third excuse, I'm sorry, just had a senior moment.
- 23:20There we have three contrasts. On the third contrast, you
- 23:24get three commands, and on the third command you get
- 23:27three contexts. All right, look at the beginning of verse fifteen.
- 23:31Let's look at these three contrasts. Look carefully, then, how
- 23:34you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the
- 23:38best use of the time, because the days are evil.
- 23:42So there's a contrast, not unwise, but wise. The second one. Therefore,
- 23:49do not be foolish, but understand what the will of
- 23:52the Lord is. There's the second contrast. First one, not unwise,
- 23:55but wise, the second one not foolish, but understanding the
- 23:58will of the Lord. Here's the third contrast. Do not
- 24:01get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be
- 24:04filled with the spirit. There's the third contrast. On the
- 24:07third contrast, you get three commands. Three commands as to
- 24:12how to fill the third contrast. Look at verse nineteen.
- 24:15First addressing one another in psalms, hymn, spiritual songs, singing
- 24:19and making melody to the Lord with all your heart.
- 24:22There's the first command, the first command related to what
- 24:24the third contrast is, how you live that spirit filled life.
- 24:27What's the second command, giving thanks always and for everything
- 24:31to God the Father in the name of our Lord
- 24:33Jesus Christ. There's your second command created correlated to what
- 24:38that third contrast. Here's how you do it. This is
- 24:41the spirit filled life. And then there's the third command.
- 24:45Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. That's
- 24:49the third command as it relates to the contrast of
- 24:51the spirit filled life versus drunk with wine. On the
- 24:55third command, you get three contexts. What are they? Wives
- 25:01to husband five twenty four to the end of the chapter,
- 25:06children to parents six to one through four, slaves to
- 25:11masters six' five through. Nine in other, Words ephesians five
- 25:17twenty one is not the umbrella over the rest Of
- 25:21ephesians chapter. Five it's actually the umbrella Over ephesians five
- 25:26twenty two through six.' nine and here's why, that's important
- 25:32because in all of those relationships the husband, wife relationship
- 25:37the verb used there is not a mutual submission verb
- 25:41in the parent child relationship not. Mutual submission children are
- 25:46called to hearken to the voice of. Their parents parents
- 25:50are not called to submit to. Their children and in
- 25:52the third one slaves, and masters masters are not called
- 25:57to submit to. Their slaves slaves are called to submit to.
- 26:00Their masters so in each one of, these contexts submission
- 26:05works in. One direction there is a person who is,
- 26:08the head and there's a person who's called to submit
- 26:11to the one who is. The, head therefore because of
- 26:14all of, these things the idea that We've misunderstood paul's
- 26:18teaching here about the husband and his headship in his
- 26:21home is not an acceptable explanation for. The, text instead
- 26:30what we Get is paul is very clear, and unambiguous
- 26:35and the husband is to exercise headship in. His Household
- 26:40now here we have the. Household codes whenever you see the,
- 26:43household codes, for example if we Go to colossians, chapter
- 26:47one or if we Go To first peter, chapter three
- 26:49or if we go To tie this, chapter two always
- 26:52either right before or right after you have husband, and
- 26:55wife you have children, and parents and you have slaves.
- 26:58And masters these are household. Old codes so the first
- 27:01thing we see about a man's leadership in his household
- 27:04is this that a man's leadership in his household goes
- 27:09to his government of all the affairs of. HIS home
- 27:13a man's leadership in his household goes to the government
- 27:16of all the affairs in. His, Home, first yes there
- 27:20is the idea of a man in his headship and
- 27:23his leadership with. His, wife unfortunately for many, of us
- 27:27that's sort of where. We stop the whole thing is
- 27:30about who is the man the head of. His, marriage
- 27:34yeah the man's ahead of, his marriage but please don't.
- 27:36Stop there the man is also the head of his
- 27:39household as it relates to the training and discipleship of,
- 27:42his children which means men cannot and must not abdicate
- 27:47when it comes to the training and discipleship of. Their
- 27:50children here's the. Great irony the great irony is we
- 27:54have men who want to stand up and pound. Their
- 27:56Chests the, BIBLE says i am. THE head i am
- 27:59the head of. My marriage so when my WIFE and
- 28:00i have, A disagreement i have the. Last word, hey
- 28:05rah good. For you let me ask, you this are
- 28:11you the chief and principal discipler of. Your children, We'll
- 28:17see we'll see when my WIFE and i when when
- 28:21when we when, we're when when we're Trying To i'm
- 28:26i'm the boss. Of her have you laid a roadmap
- 28:35for how your children learned to believe the right things
- 28:41in order that they might be transformed By? THE gospel i,
- 28:47would see you would See, the Yeah the bible says that,
- 28:51my wife she's supposed. To see that's where we want.
- 28:54To end but the, text, says fathers do not provoke
- 28:59your children, to anger but bring them up in the
- 29:01discipline and instruction Of. The lord does this mean that
- 29:04my wife doesn't have a role to play in the
- 29:06discipleship of. My, children no any more than it means
- 29:09if my wife doesn't have a role to play in
- 29:12any of the other aspects of our. Family life but
- 29:14the idea here IS that i am to exercise headship
- 29:18when it comes to the discipleship of. My children we have,
- 29:21Lost this we have. Missed this and let me say
- 29:28a word in particular to those of you who are considering.
- 29:32The ministry there has been an idea in. Generations past
- 29:39you take Care of god's Business and he'll take care of.
- 29:41Your family the same idea is the idea that has
- 29:47allowed evangelists to be world renowned while they, spend, three,
- 29:53four five six months at a time away from their
- 29:58families and the name of Serving. The lord this attitude
- 30:03has been the excuse for pastors who devote their lives
- 30:07to taking care of the problems in everyone else's household
- 30:10while they neglect. Their family so commonly that we have
- 30:15a phrase called THE p k which refers to, these, neglected,
- 30:20untrained undisciplined undiscipled children who grew up in pastors households
- 30:25but were not. Disciple there and, it's sin pure. And
- 30:31simple my, first calling my first ministry is To be,
- 30:37bridget's Husband And, Jasmine, Trey, Elijah Asher, judah Micah and. Sophia's,
- 30:44father yep, this many that's. My job go and make
- 31:05the Disciples of panta tapes every. People group we love that.
- 31:10Great commission don't we baptize them in the name Of, The,
- 31:13father Son The, holy spirit teaching them to observe all
- 31:15the Things that i've. Taught you let me ask, you
- 31:17this HOW dare i do that out there and not
- 31:23do it? At home HOW dare i disciple your children
- 31:28and fail to. Disciple mine that is my duty as.
- 31:35A father this, last one we're uncomfortable with this idea
- 31:41of a father and his headship in the context of
- 31:43a slave. Master relationship let me explain this. To you
- 31:47and this one it used to be difficult for me.
- 31:49As well there's a family in our church who got
- 31:54an opportunity to move To The, middle east and they're
- 32:00In The. Middle east this individual is. A pilot he
- 32:02was recruited by an airline over In The. Middle east
- 32:05there in the country where, they live it is common
- 32:08for households to. Have servants in fact that you can't
- 32:12find a place to rent there that doesn't have servants.
- 32:16Quarters attached it is just. Absolutely come it's the air,
- 32:19they breathe it's the way. Things, are well he's there
- 32:23for a, little while and, you know, we're skyping we're
- 32:25keeping up with, one ANOTHER and i have had two
- 32:29opportunities now to go and visit with them there In
- 32:31The middle east and to, preach there and it's. Been
- 32:34incredible but here's what began. TO happen i began to
- 32:38get these messages from him and we began to Talk
- 32:40on skype about the incredible things that were going on with,
- 32:45their maid, their servant this woman from another country who
- 32:50is In That middle eastern country basically to serve as
- 32:53a servant as. A housemaid the airline that hired him
- 32:58pays him a salary also pays for them to have,
- 33:00a housemaid and some incredible things began, to happen like
- 33:06they began to invite their maid and her husband into
- 33:10their household with them for family worship, every day and
- 33:17as a result, of It This sri lankan maid and
- 33:21her husband. Were converted not only Was This sri lankan
- 33:27maid and her, husband converted But Other sri lankan maids
- 33:32began to hear about the relationship that this woman had
- 33:36with her master as they, call them and would just
- 33:41sort of show up around the house from time. To
- 33:43time and when they showed up around, the house they
- 33:46would be invited to join the family and. Family worship
- 33:52and so long, story short my first trip to go
- 33:56visit them In The, middle east first opportunity to go
- 34:00and preach there A number i had the privilege of
- 34:03going out into the Ocean in dubai And The United.
- 34:07Arab immirates here's The. Birds dubai you know that huge
- 34:12hotel that looks like the sale of. A boat i'm
- 34:16standing in the shadow of, A. Bird Dubai there's, muslims eirwhere, not,
- 34:22everywhere airwhere that's. Beyond everywhere. All right they're at the
- 34:29beach with the hijab on the whole nine YARDS and
- 34:32i walk out into the Ocean Baptizing sri lankan maids.
- 34:37And BUTLERS can i just tell you the church? REAL
- 34:44quick i, was scared thanks people going to. Drown me
- 34:55what an incredible? Testimony is people came over to ask what's?
- 34:58Going on? The household codes a man shepherding, his wife
- 35:10his children and, his Servants and god blessing. The work
- 35:20male leadership in the home. Is comprehensive you're responsible to
- 35:28set the trajectory for your entire household in the time that.
- 35:37We have let me say THIS because i want this to.
- 35:40Be clear male headship in the home is not something
- 35:44that is achieved. Through domination it's something that. Requires submission,
- 35:50in fact look with me beginning of verse, twenty four verse.
- 35:55Twenty two. I'm sorry notice he doesn't say husbands make your.
- 36:03Wives submit he says in verse twenty, two wives submit
- 36:08to your own husband's as To, the lord for the
- 36:10husband is the head of. The wife Even as christ
- 36:12is ahead of, the church his body and Is himself.
- 36:14It's savior now as the church Submits, to christ so
- 36:17also wives should submit in everything to. Their husbands this
- 36:21is not something that's forced on. A wife this IS
- 36:24why i say to, young men if you find a
- 36:27young woman that you're interested in and she, is, unsubmissive
- 36:31run do, not, pass go do not collect two hundred
- 36:35dollars get. Out now by, the WAY when i say,
- 36:43SHE'S unsubmissive i don't mean she submissive, to you because
- 36:46she's not called to be submissive. TO you i get that.
- 36:48Sometimes too, you know, my girlfriend she's not really submissive.
- 36:52To me my response to that complaint is always good. For,
- 36:55her yeah but she's supposed to, be, Submissive right yeah to.
- 37:04Her husband put a ring on. Her finger have you married,
- 37:11her yet then she must not submit. To you well wait.
- 37:17A minute if she's not supposed to submit to me
- 37:19until i'm, her husband then HOW will i know if?
- 37:22She's submissive watch her with? Her? Father why because that's
- 37:32the only context wherein she is now commanded to submit to. Male,
- 37:36headship yeah but you don't know her father's relationship. WITH
- 37:41her i. Don't, care yeah well. YOU know i mean
- 37:45they're just like special. Mitigating circumstances REALLY because i, don't
- 37:48care because a daughter's submission to her father is not
- 37:52based on her, Father's worthiness it's Based on. God's command
- 37:55now HERE'S what i want to, ask. You sir what
- 37:58makes you think that this woman will find an excuse
- 38:02not to submit to the man who gave her birth
- 38:05and shelter. And food but somehow you're gonna be so
- 38:08fine that she'll just gladly submit. To you you better.
- 38:16Wake up if she doesn't submit to her father because
- 38:25her father, is flawed then she will not submit to you, because, you,
- 38:29too sir. Are flawed and if you marry an, unsubmissive
- 38:35woman you're in a world. Of hurt how you what
- 38:40are you? Gonna do are you're gonna arm wrestle her
- 38:42for leadership in? Your home the, next, context children obey
- 38:52your parents And, the lord for this. Is right honor
- 38:55your father. And mother this is the, first commandment with
- 38:57the promise that they may go well with you and
- 38:59that you may live in. The land children are called
- 39:02and commanded to submit to their parents the command It
- 39:08to It is god who. Calls this when it comes
- 39:15to slaves in, their masters go down to. Verse five
- 39:20slaves obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling with a,
- 39:23sincere heart as You. Would christ so in each of,
- 39:28These contexts god does, not, say sir you are the
- 39:31head of. Your household you must rule with an iron
- 39:34fist and force everyone in your home to bow the knee.
- 39:38To you. Absolutely not the idea is that they submit
- 39:43to you out of Reverence. For god so if someone
- 39:47is not submitting to you within the context of, your household,
- 39:49first thing meaning to know this, is universal your head
- 39:53sip in. Your, household secondly it requires submission from those under.
- 39:57Your leadership but how do they achieve that by you?
- 40:01Shepherding them, that's how by you. Shepherding them what do
- 40:10you do with? Your wife go back to five point. Twenty,
- 40:14five husbands love your Wives as. Christ Love the church
- 40:18gave himself up for her that he might, sanctify her
- 40:20having cleansed her by the washing of water with, the
- 40:23word so that he might Present the church to himself
- 40:26and splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing
- 40:29that she might be holy and, without blemish in the
- 40:32same way husbands ought to love their wives as their.
- 40:35Own bodies when men come to me, and, say oh
- 40:39my wife has a, Submission, problem, okay fine she has a,
- 40:41submission problem and she has to deal with That. Before
- 40:43god but let me ask you. A question are you?
- 40:47Discipling her she being washed with the water Of. The
- 40:56word are you bringing the true Truths Of god's word
- 41:01to bear in her life so that she is being
- 41:05built up and sanctified? In him are you living, with
- 41:09Her as peter Says In first, peter three, chapter three,
- 41:12verse seven in an, understanding manner as with a. Weaker
- 41:17vessel are you praying? For her are you falling on
- 41:23your face before A holy god begging him to sanctify?
- 41:27Your wife or are you merely pointing your finger at
- 41:30her saying you are? Not submitting with, your children how
- 41:42do you get? Them, there fathers do not provoke your children,
- 41:45to anger but bring them up in the discipline and
- 41:48instruction Of. The lord are you discipling? Your children is
- 41:53your discipline designed to bring them to the cross or
- 41:57merely to? Outward obedience with your servants the good, Verse
- 42:06nine masters do the same, to them stop, your threatening
- 42:13Knowing that he who is both their master and yours
- 42:16is in heaven and that there is no partiality. With
- 42:20him are you conducting yourself as a Follower Of jesus
- 42:25christ And bringing god's word to bear in all the
- 42:30relationships within the context and confines of, your home that
- 42:35the result might be that your discipleship would bear fruit
- 42:39in the lives of everyone Over whom god has given.
- 42:42You charge and how different is this? From? Me man,
- 42:49you woman, me speak? You do this is the picture
- 42:58of biblical leadership in the context and confines of. The
- 43:03home this is what it means for a man to
- 43:11lead in. His household there's a final, piece here and
- 43:17the final piece here goes back to what we spoke
- 43:19about on. Last, night remember this is all About, what
- 43:25christ his body and, its unity the Glory of christ
- 43:35manifested in, his body, the church and in. Its unity
- 43:39that's what we see in the indicative half Of the Book,
- 43:42of ephesians those first. Three chapters now we get to
- 43:45the imperative half Of the Book, of ephesians these last.
- 43:48Three chapters and remember. These imperatives we have the ability
- 43:52to accomplish these imperatives because Of what christ has done.
- 43:55In us we've seen that in the first, three chapters
- 43:57and we are motivated to accomplish These imperative why because
- 44:01of our desire as Followers of christ To see his
- 44:05glory manifested and magnified in those Places where he has given.
- 44:10Us dominion so what's? Your desire what's my desire when
- 44:21it comes to my wife and my headship being exercised
- 44:25there here it is my relationship with my wife is,
- 44:30a living breathing illustration of the Relationship Between jesus christ And.
- 44:35HIS church i desire to exercise biblical christ honoring headship
- 44:41in my marriage because it is a Picture, of christ
- 44:46and for me not to exercise that kind of headship
- 44:48in my marriage is a blasphemous act Against my Lord
- 44:53and Savior, And Master. Jesus christ my desire for my
- 44:57wife to submit to me is not just SO that
- 45:00i can, feel powerful but my desire is centered around
- 45:05the fact that she has called to submit to me As,
- 45:07to christ that her submission to me is actually an
- 45:11act of Worship. Toward christ so a wife who is
- 45:14not submissive to her husband has a. Worship disorder first,
- 45:18and foremost my headship with my wife centers around my
- 45:27desire for her to be sanctified and built up as
- 45:31a Member of. Christ's body but not only is she
- 45:34a Member of, Christ's body she's a member of my
- 45:37body in this mysterious one. FLESH union i don't know
- 45:42who first said it, to ME but i keep it in.
- 45:47My mind she's not, just mine. She's me she's not.
- 45:54Just mine. She's me is bone of my bone and
- 46:02flesh of. My flesh so my desire is to see
- 46:06her built up because she's a member of the Body,
- 46:08of CHRIST and i desire his body to be built
- 46:11up and for him to fill. ALL things a desire
- 46:14for our unity has to do with the fact that
- 46:16she's a member of my body. As well we are.
- 46:19One flesh she's not, just mine. She's, me also this
- 46:25picture that we paint of the Relationship between christ And
- 46:28his church has an impact first and foremost on, our
- 46:31children who see this on a, daily basis but secondly on,
- 46:36our servants who also see this on a. Daily basis
- 46:42so there is this picture of the truth Of the
- 46:45gospel that we proclaim that is being lived out in
- 46:48the context of this. Marriage relationship it does not replace.
- 46:52The gospel it is not, the gospel but it reinforces
- 46:56the message of. The gospel that changes, My focus that changes.
- 47:06My everything when a man comes to me, And says,
- 47:14I'M finished i can't do. It anymore. I'm leaving where, you?
- 47:22Going sir you can't? Do, THAT yes. I, can't no.
- 47:27You can't you're her head head can't leave. The body
- 47:33you don't want to running? Around HEADLESS why i don't understand.
- 47:40All that i'm. Just, leaving no you can't leave where.
- 47:43You're going go love. Your wife you're commanded to love.
- 47:48Your wife husbands love. Your Wives just christ Love. The
- 47:52church my desire for my children is what that my
- 48:05children would come To. Know christ fathers do not provoke
- 48:10the children, of anger but bring them up in the
- 48:12discipline and instruction Of. The lord what is my desire with?
- 48:15My children that they would make me proud and become
- 48:17doctors and lawyers and quarterbacks. And whatever my desire for
- 48:24my children is that they Walk. With god my desire
- 48:27first and foremost is that they would. Be saved my
- 48:31desire is that they Would, know christ and that desire
- 48:35must lead all. Other desires everything else must take a
- 48:40back seat. To that why first half of The, book
- 48:43christ his body and the. UNITY thereof i want my
- 48:46children to be part of the Body. OF christ i
- 48:49want my children to. BE redeemed I want christ to
- 48:52be glorified as my children come to Faith. IN him
- 48:56i Want the father to be glorified As the son
- 48:59give my Children to him as a gift that is
- 49:02then reciprocated Because the father first entrusted them. To HIM
- 49:06and i know that this happens through the proclamation Of.
- 49:09The GOSPEL so i Preached the gospel to my children
- 49:12again and again. And again and my desire for their
- 49:15obedience to my headship has to do with Them, knowing
- 49:18christ not with. IMPRESSING you i want. THEIR hearts i
- 49:28want Them. Saved god mather also made an Argument that
- 49:36i've just never been able to get. Away from, he
- 49:40says as you look at, your children remember that that
- 49:45sin nature from which they need to be delivered was
- 49:48Inherited from adam. Through you you gave it. To them
- 49:55rid them of it if. You can they suffer on
- 50:00the curse directly. Through you do everything that you can
- 50:06to deliver them. From, that oh how many parents have
- 50:10fallen on their Face before god praying that their child
- 50:13would get into the, right school but have not spent
- 50:16one Hour begging god that their child might get. INTO
- 50:21heaven i want my children saved first, and foremost and
- 50:32so my headship and my leadership and my home as
- 50:35it relates to, my children must center around this desire
- 50:39above and before, all else that they Might know christ
- 50:46in the pardon of. Their sins this is. Real headship
- 50:56why is? This important why is it important that we
- 50:59know the opposition that is. Out there why is it
- 51:02important that we fight for. This ground here's why it's
- 51:05important that we fight for. This ground first, And foremost
- 51:09it's important that we fight for this ground because people
- 51:12are not just arguing, against us they're Arguing. AGAINST god
- 51:17i don't write, THE mail i just. Deliver it and
- 51:22it is important that we refute those who contradict Sound
- 51:25doctrine titus. One nine that is my job to refute
- 51:31those who contradict. Sound doctrine here's the second reason that this.
- 51:34Is important if the picture of male headship in the
- 51:38home is an illustration of the Relationship between christ and,
- 51:42his church then anything that would mar that image is
- 51:49actually working to profane the Truth. About christ we can't
- 51:56have that here's the. Other problem god has designed marriage
- 52:05to function in a way that brings glory to his
- 52:09name and that fulfills, his design and that design centers around.
- 52:14Male headship if we undermine this, fundamental truth we begin
- 52:21to Undo all so what do. We see we see
- 52:27marriages that are shipwrecked because of a failure to understand.
- 52:32This issue we see wives that wrestle with and run
- 52:36away from submission to, their husbands listening to and sounding
- 52:40more like. The feminists we see men who have no
- 52:46idea whatsoever what real, headship is which results in either
- 52:50passivity in men where they completely fade to, the background
- 52:55or hyper masculinity in men where they turn, into rambo
- 53:04neither of which. Is acceptable the idea is for biblical.
- 53:12MALE headship a man who understands, his role doesn't back
- 53:18down from, his role doesn't apologize for, his role and
- 53:23is terrified because he understands the magnitude of. His responsibility that's.
- 53:32The picture now you go and. Do likewise, Let's, pray
- 53:46father thank you that you have not left us to
- 53:48wander aimlessly in, the dark but has spoken clearly to
- 53:57the most pertinent issues in our lives and to our
- 54:01deepest needs grant that we might hear and heed your
- 54:12Truth for, christ's sake for, his glory for. His. Honor
- 54:23amen