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Andy Stanley - How Not To Be Your Own Worst Enemy Part 1 Pay Attention · Andy Stanley Sermons

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: So here's a question for you. Have you Have you
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: ever been your own worst enemy? Have you ever been
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: your own worst enemy? And the answer is yes, you
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: have been your own worst enemy. Maybe not some big
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: macro you know, big big area, or some big you know,
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  Speaker 1: some big decision that kind of undermined your whole future,
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  Speaker 1: But at some point in all of our lives, we
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: have been our own worst enemy. I was trying to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: think of a time to tell you about and be vulnerable,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: and all of the ones were on my own worst enemy.
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  Speaker 1: I'm too embarrassed, but I did think of one big one.
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  Speaker 1: I was my own worst enemy my first semester in college,
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  Speaker 1: when I found out at the end of that first semester,
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  Speaker 1: I was on academic warning. And then I was my
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  Speaker 1: own worst enemy my second semester we had semester I
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: was on the semester system. When I found out, I
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  Speaker 1: was on academic probation. Okay, and you and in school,
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  Speaker 1: you really have no one else to blame, right, It's
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  Speaker 1: it's just you. You, and you. You're your own worst enemy.
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  Speaker 1: And the thing that makes this so memorable is not
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  Speaker 1: that part. It's the next part. We lived in Tucker,
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  Speaker 1: and I remember that specifically my mom that she wanted
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  Speaker 1: to talk to me about college. So I was living
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  Speaker 1: at home going to Georgia State, and so she sits
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  Speaker 1: me down at the kitchen table. You know, there's just
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  Speaker 1: certain memories that are etched in your mind. You can
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  Speaker 1: see the colors on the wall, and this is one
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  Speaker 1: of those moments. She sat me down, and I thought
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  Speaker 1: she was gonna give me the pep talk, like Andy,
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  Speaker 1: you can do anything you set your mind to, and
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  Speaker 1: if you believe, you can achieve, and you can do
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  Speaker 1: all things through I don't know what she was gonna say,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm ready for the Andy. You need to buckle down.
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  Speaker 1: And here's what she said, and I quote Andy, college
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  Speaker 1: is not for everyone. That is a direct quote, Andy,
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  Speaker 1: college is not for everyone. And I realized even my
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  Speaker 1: own mom didn't really think I had what it took
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  Speaker 1: to get through college. And I went from becoming my
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  Speaker 1: own worst enemy to becoming my own best friend because
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  Speaker 1: it scared me so much. Now, all of us have
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  Speaker 1: kind of interesting kind of like look back and laugh stories,
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  Speaker 1: but have you ever seen anyone who like did this up?
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  Speaker 1: Like like like did this up? Big? I mean, they
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  Speaker 1: became their own worst enemy with their career, or in
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  Speaker 1: their marriage, or with their finances, or a relationship with
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  Speaker 1: one of their children. And you stand back and you
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  Speaker 1: see it happening. You see it happening kind of unrolling
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  Speaker 1: and unraveling, and you're thinking, you're doing this to yourself.
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  Speaker 1: And when you watch that, you kind of think the
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  Speaker 1: same thing. I think. You think, well, you know what,
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  Speaker 1: that they may undermine their own marriage, they may undermine
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  Speaker 1: their own career, they may undermine their own world, their
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  Speaker 1: own finances, of their relationship with their kids. But I
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  Speaker 1: mean I may have some interesting kind of laugh about
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  Speaker 1: it later stories about becoming my own worst enemy. But
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  Speaker 1: I would never do anything like that. Right. But here's
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  Speaker 1: the thing that's true of all of us, and I'm
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  Speaker 1: talking to me as well as you. We all have
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  Speaker 1: the potential. I don't even know you, but this is
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  Speaker 1: what I know about you. Every single one of us
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  Speaker 1: has the potential to become our own worst enemy. Right.
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  Speaker 1: And the reason I know that is because you And
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  Speaker 1: this is all of us. But I'm picking on you
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  Speaker 1: for a second. You have participated in all of your
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  Speaker 1: bad decisions, right, You have participated in one hundred of
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  Speaker 1: your bad decision In fact, you were and picking on
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  Speaker 1: a little bit and say truth me too, that we
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  Speaker 1: were the masterminds behind our own bad decisions. And here's
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  Speaker 1: why this is a big deal, because a single bad decision,
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  Speaker 1: I mean you know this, a single bad decision, is
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  Speaker 1: always the first step toward becoming your own worst enemy. Right.
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  Speaker 1: It's not like we it happens all at one time.
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  Speaker 1: It just unravels over time and the people that you've
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  Speaker 1: watched become their own worst enemy in a big way.
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  Speaker 1: It started with small things that started with one simple,
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  Speaker 1: single decision. Right. Because every habit, every habit, begins with
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  Speaker 1: the first time, and every pattern begins with the first line,
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  Speaker 1: and every journey begins with a first step. So we
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  Speaker 1: all have the potential to become our own worst enemy
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  Speaker 1: if we're not careful. So what we're gonna do is
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  Speaker 1: in this series, I want to give you three things.
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  Speaker 1: I want to give you three things you can begin
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  Speaker 1: doing today that will help ensure that you don't become
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  Speaker 1: your own worst enemy in a way that you are
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  Speaker 1: able to look back and laugh at it. In the
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  Speaker 1: big ways, the ways that really reckon ruin and cause
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  Speaker 1: whole seasons of our lives to be wasted and we
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  Speaker 1: look back and wish we could go back and do
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  Speaker 1: our twenties over our thirties over forties or fifties, or
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  Speaker 1: do a first marriage over, do a first career over
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  Speaker 1: three things. Now, the interesting thing is Jesus doesn't use
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  Speaker 1: this terminology. Jesus doesn't talk about it, don't become your
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  Speaker 1: own worst enemy. But in his teaching he's very very clear.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, in one of his most famous parables, he
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  Speaker 1: says this. He says, anyone who hears these words of
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  Speaker 1: mine and does not put them into practice. You may
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  Speaker 1: remember this from childhood. Anyone who hears these words of
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  Speaker 1: mine and does not put them into practice is like
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  Speaker 1: a man who became his own worst enemy. He didn't
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  Speaker 1: use that terminology. Here's how he said. It is like
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  Speaker 1: a man who builds his own house. Oh, you should
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  Speaker 1: be commended on the sand. Uh. Oh, who builds his
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  Speaker 1: own house, Good job on the sand. And when the
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  Speaker 1: storm came, he recognized he has no one but himself
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  Speaker 1: to blame because of the poor foundation of his home.
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  Speaker 1: So this is a principle. This potentially impacts all of us,
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  Speaker 1: and Jesus went right to the heart of it. So
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  Speaker 1: in this series, what I want to do. Is I
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  Speaker 1: want to suggest three habits, three habits that really serve
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  Speaker 1: as preemptive habits to ensure that you don't become and
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  Speaker 1: I don't become, and the people we love don't become
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  Speaker 1: our own worst enemy. So today I'm going to give
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  Speaker 1: you the first habit, and then in the next two
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  Speaker 1: weeks we're going to talk about habit number two and
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  Speaker 1: habit number three. So the first thing, the first thing
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  Speaker 1: that we must all do to ensure that we don't
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  Speaker 1: become our own worst enemy is pay attention to the attention.
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  Speaker 1: Pay attention to the tension. Even if you are sitting
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  Speaker 1: alone at home in your living room, I would like
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  Speaker 1: all of us to say this together, Ready, pay attention
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  Speaker 1: to the attenson. What is the first thing you need
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  Speaker 1: to do to ensure that you don't become your own
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  Speaker 1: worst enemy? Together, pay attention. That's right. Whenever you're considering
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  Speaker 1: any option, any invitation, anything that comes your way, any
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  Speaker 1: choice that you're about to me, and it causes if
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  Speaker 1: the option you're considering causes any sense of hesitation, a
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  Speaker 1: little bit of tension, a little bit of pause, and
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  Speaker 1: in any kind of way dings your conscience, stop and
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  Speaker 1: pay attention to that tension. Don't start selling yourself. Start listening.
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  Speaker 1: Don't sell yourself. Start listening, because here's what happens, and
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  Speaker 1: we know this. As soon as you see something you want,
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  Speaker 1: as soon as you get invited to something you're interested in,
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  Speaker 1: as soon as there's an option that kind of inflames
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  Speaker 1: an appetite, as soon as soon as you see someone
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  Speaker 1: that you want, what do you do? You do the
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  Speaker 1: same thing I do. You start selling yourself. You start
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  Speaker 1: selling yourself on this idea. And what's interesting is we
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  Speaker 1: lie to ourselves and then we believe our own lives.
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  Speaker 1: I think only human beings are capable of this. We
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  Speaker 1: make up things and then choose to believe the things
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  Speaker 1: that we made up. And here's how I know that's true.
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  Speaker 1: They have to be a little creative. Okay, if a
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  Speaker 1: sales person, if a salesperson used the same pitch on
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  Speaker 1: you that you use on yourself, If a salesperson in
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  Speaker 1: an actual retail environment use the same pitch on sales
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  Speaker 1: pitch on you that you use on yourself, you would
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  Speaker 1: be so offended you would walk out of that establishment, right,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, imagine if somebody you're standing there, negotiator you're
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  Speaker 1: thinking about purchasing something and they said something like this, Hey,
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  Speaker 1: if you get home and decides you don't like it,
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  Speaker 1: just donate it. But how many times does that run
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  Speaker 1: through your mind as you're about to buy something online?
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  Speaker 1: But if somebody actually said this to you, you'd be like,
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  Speaker 1: du what how about this? Hey? I see that you
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  Speaker 1: already have one that does everything this one does, but
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  Speaker 1: this one is newer. I mean you would look at
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  Speaker 1: the person like, that's your pitch. I mean, that's it.
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  Speaker 1: But that's the kind of stuff we tell ourselves all
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  Speaker 1: the time. Right, how about this? Yes, Suri, it is wrong, wrong, wrong,
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  Speaker 1: So just don't tell anyone. Okay, Now we're gonna dig
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  Speaker 1: a little deeper. You ready, Sure your husband would be
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  Speaker 1: hurt and offended if you found out, But your husband
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  Speaker 1: isn't bright enough to find out. I mean, how offended
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  Speaker 1: would you be, ladies, if somebody said that about your husband?
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  Speaker 1: But what do you tell yourself when you start trying
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  Speaker 1: to sell yourself on a bad idea? Well? He right, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: we're gonna go both sides of this. Yes, your girlfriend
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  Speaker 1: would sure would be devastated, but let's face it, she's
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  Speaker 1: not nearly as attractive. I mean, if somebody actually said
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  Speaker 1: something bad about your girlfriend, you would be so offended.
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  Speaker 1: But listen to the self talk. Listen to the narrative
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  Speaker 1: you create. We're gonna talk a lot about the narratives
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  Speaker 1: next time. Is someone to actually said to us the
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  Speaker 1: things that we say to ourselves, to sell ourselves on
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  Speaker 1: a bad idea that sets us up to become our
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  Speaker 1: own worst enemy, we would be so extraordinarily offended. This
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  Speaker 1: is why you can't afford and I can't afford to
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  Speaker 1: start selling ourselves. Instead, you need to pay attention to
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  Speaker 1: the tension. The moment. I mean, this is the habit
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  Speaker 1: right here, the moment you start selling yourself. Hit pause.
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  Speaker 1: The moment you hear I mean, because we do this
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  Speaker 1: every day, we do this all the time. The moment
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  Speaker 1: you start creating and an internal narrative as to why
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  Speaker 1: something is okay, or something's justifiable, or something's permissible. In
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  Speaker 1: that moment, we should just hit pause and say, wait
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  Speaker 1: a minute, I'm doing it. I'm doing that thing. I
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  Speaker 1: am making things up and choosing to believe them in
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  Speaker 1: order to do something that something in me is telling me.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe I should hit pause, because remember this. If you
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  Speaker 1: don't hear anything else I say today. This is it. Remember,
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  Speaker 1: we rarely, we rarely, we rarely have to sell ourselves
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  Speaker 1: on a good idea. Right, you rarely have to talk
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  Speaker 1: yourself into knowing when something is the right thing, the
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  Speaker 1: wise thing, the prudent thing to do. Now, there is
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  Speaker 1: a fascinating piece of narrative in the Hebrew Bible that
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  Speaker 1: US Christians call the Old Testament, but it started off
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  Speaker 1: as the Hebrew Bible or the Jewish Scripture. There's this
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  Speaker 1: fascinating piece and narrative. If you grew up in church,
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  Speaker 1: surely you have heard this before at some point. If not,
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  Speaker 1: then you're in for a treat, because this is one
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  Speaker 1: of the most interesting detail written stories in the entire
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  Speaker 1: Old Testament, and it illustrates, but better than illustrate, this
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  Speaker 1: story actually illuminates or brings insight into this whole idea
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  Speaker 1: of paying attention to the tension. The story revolves around
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  Speaker 1: King David, who was Israel's second king, but the story
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  Speaker 1: actually takes place before he became king. Now, if you
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  Speaker 1: know anything about the Hebrew Bible or the history of
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  Speaker 1: the Jews, David, who became israel second king, stepped onto
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  Speaker 1: the pages of history as a shepherd boy, and then
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  Speaker 1: he was throwing. Suddenly he stepped into the spotlight when
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  Speaker 1: he killed Goliath, through the story of David and Goliath,
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  Speaker 1: and he became legendary, kind of almost almost overnight, because
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  Speaker 1: he was this young man who faced this giant, you know,
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  Speaker 1: this philistine who was taunting the armies of Israel. And
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  Speaker 1: he thought, well, you're not taunting the armies of Israel,
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  Speaker 1: You're taunting armies of God. And God's just looking for
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  Speaker 1: a volunteer, and I volunteer. In boom, suddenly he's famous. Well.
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  Speaker 1: King Saul, who was the king at the time, Israel's
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  Speaker 1: first king, of course, brings them close because he's become
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  Speaker 1: a legend, and he gives him prominence with the military.
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  Speaker 1: He eventually marries him off to one of his daughters,
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  Speaker 1: so now the king is his father in law. But
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  Speaker 1: then as time goes by, David becomes so popular, Saul
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  Speaker 1: realizes that David is a threat to his dynasty because
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  Speaker 1: people are gonna want him to be the next king.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, the rumor was at that time that David
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  Speaker 1: had already been anointed as the next king of Israel
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  Speaker 1: as a little boy, because in fact, he had, so
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  Speaker 1: suddenly Saul's not so fond of David, even though he's
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  Speaker 1: married him off to his daughter. In fact, when you
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  Speaker 1: read the story, it's so interesting. Saul decides to use
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  Speaker 1: his daughter to manipulate David, and then Saul decides to
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  Speaker 1: kill David. Then Saul says, no, I'm not gonna kill him.
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to keep sending him out to fight the Philistines.
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  Speaker 1: And eventually the odds are going to be such that
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  Speaker 1: the Philistines will take care of David. But we've got
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  Speaker 1: to get rid of David. Well, none of saul A
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  Speaker 1: tactics work, and David becomes more and more and more popular.
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  Speaker 1: So then one afternoon he loses his temper and he
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  Speaker 1: tries to kill David, and David flees. He flees, he
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  Speaker 1: has to leave the city. He can't go home because
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  Speaker 1: it to put his family in danger, so he flees.
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  Speaker 1: He makes several really really bad decisions, and he becomes
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  Speaker 1: an outlaw, and as a result of him being so famous,
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  Speaker 1: all the other fugitives in the land of around that
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  Speaker 1: region of the world who were related to the Jewish
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  Speaker 1: people at the time, they weren't called Jewish people at
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  Speaker 1: the time. But the Hebrews at the time, they all
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  Speaker 1: started following David, and the next thing you know, he's
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  Speaker 1: got his own band of merry men, and eventually it
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  Speaker 1: becomes like a small army, but it's a small army
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  Speaker 1: without a home because they're all outlaws. It's a small
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  Speaker 1: army of men who can't go home. But they rally
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  Speaker 1: around David and they see David as as leader. Well. Meanwhile,
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  Speaker 1: Saul is busy running the kingdom, but he's always on
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  Speaker 1: the lookout for David, and he has spies everywhere looking
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  Speaker 1: for David because he needs to eliminate David before he
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  Speaker 1: dies so that his son Jonathan can become the next
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  Speaker 1: king rather than David coming the next king of Israel.
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  Speaker 1: And one afternoon he gets a report that David and
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  Speaker 1: his merry men have been spotted in the desert or
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  Speaker 1: the region of Ngeti. And if you've ever been to
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  Speaker 1: the Holy Lander, if you've ever been to Jerusalem, you
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: can actually visit this area of the world. It's just
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  Speaker 1: along the sea of the Dead Sea, and it just
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  Speaker 1: looks exactly like this. It is just barren wasteland with
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  Speaker 1: a few oases sprinkled here and there. It is full
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  Speaker 1: of caves and mountains, and again it borders you can
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: see this next picture kind of borders on the Dead Sea.
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  Speaker 1: So this is the region that Saul hears that David
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  Speaker 1: and his men are. So the text says that Saul
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  Speaker 1: took three thousand, which was way more men than he
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  Speaker 1: needed to fight David. But again, David is a valiant warrior.
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  Speaker 1: He's famous for his ability to fight out in the open.
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  Speaker 1: So he takes three thousand able young men from all
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  Speaker 1: of Israel and he sets out to look for David
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  Speaker 1: and his men. So they're gone for several days, and
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  Speaker 1: eventually they come to an area that we're not sure
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  Speaker 1: exactly where it is. But when this was originally written,
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  Speaker 1: the people who originally read it knew exactly what the
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  Speaker 1: author meant. He came to these sheep pins, and there
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  Speaker 1: was a cave there. And actually, when you go to
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  Speaker 1: this region of Israel, there are caves everywhere. There was
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  Speaker 1: a cave there, and Saul went in to relieve himself.
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  Speaker 1: Fun fact, maybe I think this is the only reference
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  Speaker 1: to go into the bathroom in the whole Bible, but
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  Speaker 1: I could be wrong about that. Okay, I don't know
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  Speaker 1: what everybody else did. But at least Saul, we know,
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  Speaker 1: had to relieve himself. And this is a strategic part
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  Speaker 1: of the story and that's why the author included it.
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  Speaker 1: So here's the picture. Three thousand men. That's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people, the long caravan with some camp followers with
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  Speaker 1: wagons with food. I mean, this is a big ordeal.
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  Speaker 1: Saul is a little bit, you know, back from the front.
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  Speaker 1: Saul has to go to the bathroom. Now, if you're
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  Speaker 1: just a regular guy in the army and you have
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  Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom, you deal with it. But
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: when you're the king, you can stop the whole caravan,
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  Speaker 1: get off your mule, he wrote a mule, and he
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  Speaker 1: makes his way up to this cave by himself to
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  Speaker 1: use the bathroom while everybody else waited. And if you've
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  Speaker 1: heard this story before, here's where it takes the most
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  Speaker 1: interesting twist. David and his men were actually in the
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  Speaker 1: very cave that King Saul chose to stop and uses
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  Speaker 1: his you know, his private bathroom. And they're far back
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  Speaker 1: in the cave. Now, what are the odds of that?
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  Speaker 1: I mean, there aren't even any odds, right, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: talk about the stars lining up, talking about God smiling
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  Speaker 1: on you, or the gods smiling on you. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: this is a best case scenario. This was an answer,
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  Speaker 1: as we're gonna see in just a minute. This was
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  Speaker 1: an answer to David's prayer. So the context a little
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  Speaker 1: bit of what must have happened is Saul had his
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: spies out looking for David, and David had his spies
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: out making sure that Saul wasn't anywhere close. And when
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: David's spies found out that Saul was not too far
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  Speaker 1: behind him, David said to his men, scatter, hide in
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  Speaker 1: the hills. We'll wait for Saul and his men to
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: go through. We will reconvene and go the other way.
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  Speaker 1: But it just so happened when King Saul and his
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: caravan got right into the area where David and his
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: men had dispersed hide, that's when he had to go
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: to the bathroom. Then he happened to choose the very
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: cave that David was hiding in. Now get the picture,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: David's eyes have justin. He's been in the cave. Saul
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: walks in, he can't see a thing, and he walks
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: just far enough in to do his business. But when
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: he walks into the cave, he is just a silhouette,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: and David and his men are in the back of
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: the cave and they look at each other and they
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: cannot believe this. I mean, what's running through his mind?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you had been an outlaw for months,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: we don't even know how much time David had been
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: an outlaw this time, and just living out in the hills,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: what's going through your mind? Clearly? I mean, you don't
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: even This isn't a prayer, this is you just know
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: God had clearly delivered David's enemy, I mean literally into
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: his hands. David had already been anointed king. Everybody knows
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: he's the next guy. The only thing standing in the
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: way of David become the next king is Saul, and
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: here he is. And if we don't think that is
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: what was running through David's mind, we know that's what
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: was running through David's men's mind because the text says,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: this is what his men whispered to him far back
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: in the cave. The men said to David, this is
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I will give your enemy into your hand for you
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: to deal with them as they as you wish. This
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: is what David had told his men over and over
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and over as they sat around the campfire at night,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: he would say to them, look, guys, just a little
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: bit longer, just a little bit longer. Stay with me,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: just a little bit longer. Eventually I'll be the king.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And when I become the king, I'm gonna reward those
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: of you who were most loyal to me during the
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: mean times and the lean times, in these difficult times.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: So they're looking at David saying, you're right, this is
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: exactly what you promised. This is exactly what you told
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: us would happened, but we could not imagine it would
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: happen like this. This is the very thing God promised you.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: And now the waiting is over. Kill the king and
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: let's go home. And the optics on this would have
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: been amazing. So now let's imagine we're outside the cave, right,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: We're lined up and yawning and waiting for the king
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: to come out, and we're keep glancing over at the cave.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: King Saul went in. David steps out with King Saul's
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: head in his hand, and everybody in that caravan would
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: immediately recognize David as the King of Israel. No civil war,
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: very little bloodshed, lives spared. So can you imagine the adrenaline?
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine the emotion in the cave that afternoon?
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine the pressure David felt to do something
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: about this so he and his men could finally go home. Besides,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: this had to be God's will. I mean, this can't
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: be a coincident. Had to be God's will because God
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: had already declared that David was going to be the
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: next king. The pressure he felt to act, we can't
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: even imagine it, But the text tells us, and as
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: the story unfolds, David felt something else as well. There
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: was a tension. There was a hesitation. There was a
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: tension that didn't make any sense in light of the circumstances.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: There was a hesitation that didn't make any sense in
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: light of the flow of the story and the flow
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: of his life. This tension made absolutely no sense, and
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: so he ignored it, and he did what any of
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: us would probably have done if we had the opportunity.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: The text says that David took out his knife and
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: he slowly crept up, unnoticed behind King Saul. But as
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: he gets closer and closer and closer, that tension intensifies.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: And intensifies and intensifies, and somehow, some way he was
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: able to stop and pay close attention to the tension.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: And suddenly, and some of you've experienced this, I want
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: all of us to experience this. Eventually, suddenly, somewhere between
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: the back of that cave and King Saul's back, suddenly
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: his decision to kill and to murder King Saul was
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: completely reframed. Suddenly the hesitation that made no sense made
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: perfect sense. Wait wait, what am I doing? I'm about
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: to murder the king? Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I can't murder the king. I mean God chose Saul.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: I can't replace what God put in place. This is
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: gonna be my legacy, This is gonna be my story.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: This will be the story that people tell about me.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I love the one they sing about David
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: and Gliath. But I don't know that I want them
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: turning this into a song, right, I don't want this
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: to be the story I have to tell my grandchildren. Granddaddy, Grandpapa,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: tell us how you became king again. We love the story.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You snuck up behind old King Saul and he slid
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: us through while he was using the potty. Tell us
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: that story again, I mean, is that really the story
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you want to tell? In fact, the text tells us
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: that David was conscience stricken, and somehow, with all this
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: energy and all this you know, testosterone and all this
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: adrenaline and everything going on in that cave, suddenly he
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: was stopped, and he was able to stop long enough
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: and pay attention to this ear irrational tension. He was
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: able to pay attention to his irrational conscience, and it
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: saved him from becoming his own worst enemy, because in
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: that moment, he would have become the man who murdered
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Israel's first king. He would become the man who murdered
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: his own father in law, the man who allowed him
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: to rise to prominence after he killed Goliath. And so
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: somewhere between the back of the cave and King Saul's back,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: this all gets reframed fro him, and he realizes, oh,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: my goodness, no wonder, there's a tension, No wonder, there's
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: a hesitation. He was conscience stricken, and he snuck up
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: behind King Saul, and he took King Saul's disregarded robe,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: and he cut off the corner and he went back
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: to the cave and his men hiding in the cave.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine they are in They can't believe this.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Now he has them explaining to do and they're like,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: they just can't believe what they just saw. I mean,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: this is the perfect opportunity. They can finally go home.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: There will no longer be a price on their heads.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And he said to his men. The text says, he
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: said to his men, the Lord forbid. This is amazing
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: that I should do such a thing to my master,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the Lord's anointed. What a minute, David, you know, two
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: and a half minutes ago, he wasn't your master, the
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Lord's anointed. Two and a half minutes ago, he was
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: your enemy. What happened? And then the men are saying, okay,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: if you won't do it, we'll do it. In fact,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: we'll all do it together. If you don't want to
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: have blood on your hands, we understand that. Just let
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: us do it. And with these words, the text says,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: with these words, David sharply rebuked his men and did
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: cave and went on his way. So close, so close,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: so close. So let me ask you a question. We'll
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: get back to this story Are you close? Are you
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: contemplating something and you're selling, sell and sell and sell
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: and spin and spin and spin and spinning. You're you've
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: kindly you've kind of decided you've sort of got there.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: You know, your husband he's not so sure. Your wife's
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: not so sure. Some of your friends are like, really,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, and then you got other friends are going,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, everybody, everybody culture culture,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: culture are how are you so close? Is it possible
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: that right now, in fact, you can't even believe I'm
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: talking about this. It's like, what this is exactly what
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going through? Are you so close? Are you selling yourself?
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Come on, let's just you don't have to be honest
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: with anybody else. I mean, you lie to yourself all
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: the time. At least be honest with yourself for a moment, right,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I mean me too. Right? Are you selling yourself on
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: a bad idea? Are you ignoring your conscience? Is there
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: an internal hesitation and internal tension and you've just kind
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: of pushed right by it? Are you selling yourself on
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: an idea that's gonna or a decision that you're that's
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: gonna follow you around for the rest of your life.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: That's gonna make you a liar for life, because you're
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: never gonna want anybody to know this part of your story,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: and you're never gonna want anybody to tell this part
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: of your story. And one day, when you have children,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: or one day when you have grandchildren and you tell
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: your story, you get to this part and you just
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: kind of are gonna have to skip over it. Are
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: you on the verge of becoming your own worst enemy?
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: If so, can I just make a suggestion. I'm not
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: your the boss of you. I mean, I'm not you know,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I can't tell you what to do, But can I
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: just make a suggestion? Would you at least hit pause,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: just stop for a moment selling yourself and just listen. Listen,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: listen to the wiser voices around you, and perhaps listen
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: to that still small voice on the inside of you
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: that's going I don't think that's the best thing, because
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: it may be I don't know, it's gussing. It may
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: be the whisper of God who loves you, who he
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: loves you, and is doing everything he can to keep
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: you from becoming your own worst enemy. So, as the
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: text says, Saul exits the cave, he has no clue
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: as to how close he came to joining all of
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: his dead ancestors. He goes back, he gets on his mule,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: and as he gets on his mule, this is amazing.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: He hears a voice and it's a familiar voice, and
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: it's coming from the direction of the cave he just exited.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: And everybody in the hole, you know, all of his men,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: everybody in the caravan, everybody involved. Everybody's head turns and
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: standing at the mouth of the cave that sal just
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: came out of, is David flanked by his men, and
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: David bows low in honor of the king. And then
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: he stands up and he holds up the corner of
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Saul's robe. And in that moment, and here's the moment
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to miss in your life. In
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: that moment, here's the moment I don't want you. I
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: want you to be able to tell your kids and
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: grandkids about, and your friends about someday, your future husband
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: or wife. Someday. In that moment, everybody there knew who
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: the better man was. It was David. David gives a
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: little speech. It's very interesting. I'm not going to read
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: the whole thing, but At the end of the speech,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: here's how he concludes. He says, Saul, may the Lord
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: be the judge between you and me, and may the
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me. But
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: my hand will not touch you. I'm going to do
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: the right thing. I will not take matters into my
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: own hands. And because David listened to that still small hesitation,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: that tension, that little ding of his conscience, in a
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: moment when most people would just have paid no attention
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: to it, David decided. And this is where some of
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: you are. David decided not to use Saul's bad behavior
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: as an excuse for bad behavior. So how about you,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: as you think about the option you're considering that big
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: life change, You're considering that thing you've pretty much talked
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: yourself into. In fact, the wheels are already turning. Are
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: you considering are you considering behaving badly based on somebody
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: else's bad behavior because of what they did to you,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: because of what they're trying to do to you, because
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: of what everybody else around you does. Come on, are
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: you considering becoming like someone you don't even like? Are
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: you selling yourself? Remember, we rarely ever have to sell ourself.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: We rarely have to ever have to sell ourself on
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: the right thing to do. So, now all eyes turn
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: from David to Saul, and he is completely human, umiliated
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: by David. But here's the interesting thing. He's not humiliated
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: by David's military skill. He's humiliated by David's character. He's
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: humiliated by David's self control. He's humiliated by David's humility.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: And Saul has no choice. He turns his army around
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: and he heads back to Jerusalem. That's the power of
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: paying attention to that tension. When my daughter Alif or
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: three children, Ali's our youngest. When she was in the
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: eighth grade, she and I were studying for a test
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: together using the study guide, and as we were studying,
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: it occurred to me that her older brother, Garrett, had
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: had the same class with the same teacher the year before,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and I thought, I wonder if there were any old
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: test to study from him. She said, Dad, we can't
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: do that. I said, yeah, if the teacher gave out
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: test and he knows that these tests are floating around
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: and in college, you know, you do it all the time.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: So I went digging around and sure enough I found
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: an old test all right, and I don't This isn't
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: a parenting seminar. I'm just telling you what happened. Okay,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: this isn't for modeling, this is for it's just what happened.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: So anyway, so we sat down and we studied through
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: this test to get her ready. And she was an
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: a student so it wasn't a big deal, so you know. Anyway,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: so she goes to class the next day, the teacher
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: hands out the test and it's the same test, right, yeah,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: So that afternoon she gets home from school and I
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: asked what every good parent asked when they have studied
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: with their children for a test. I said, Ali, how
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: did we do on our test? Is now what you asked?
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: You want to know what kind of grade you made?
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: You know? She said, Dad, you're not going to believe this.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: It was the same test. And I felt like I
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: was cheating. I'm like, no, no, no, no, you weren't cheating.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: It was the teacher's fault. If they're going to hand
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: these things out, they know that these things are floating around.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not giving parenting advice. Let me just reiterate that
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: this is just what happened. And she and I said besides,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: you're an a student. You know, I'm trying to ease
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: her conscience. She said, no, no, no, Dad, it's okay.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I told him. I know. I'm like, what you told
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: on yourself? Whose child? Are you? Okay? So then I
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: have to switch gears, like, oh, I'm so glad you did.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: That was the right thing to do. You know, I'm
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: so proud of you, you know. I'm just I'm just
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: sorry because I'm the one that got you into trouble
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: if I needed She's like, no, no, no, I didn't get
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: in trouble, like what she said, Well, he meant to
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: have it. He had another test and he got to
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: school that morning and the copy machine wasn't working, so
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: he couldn't make copies. So he just had copies of
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: an old test and used the test that you know
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: Garrett had, you know, and he was in the same class.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I said, so he didn't get in trouble.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: She said, no, he was proud of me for telling him.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, me too, me too, me too. So
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: the point of this is, come on, an eighth grade
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: girl felt tension. What do you do with that tension?
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: Do I tell my teacher or not, And when she
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: thought not, she felt more tension. So she decided to
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: pay attention to the attention rather than pay attention to
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: a father. Anyway, you're gonna get by that real quick anyway,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: So she paid attention to Now. Now, I know what
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: you're thinking and thinking, Oh, that's so cute. You know
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: what's that got to do with me? It's got everything
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: to do with you. Here's why, because the tension that
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: you are wrestling with right now, the tension you're wrestling
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: with right now, falls somewhere between choosing whether or not
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: to tell your math teacher you study from an old
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: test and murdering a king. I think we've bookended about
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: everything you and I could experience, right It's somewhat this
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: side of murdering a king is probably somewhat this side
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: of what are you gonna tell? Youre a math teacher?
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: But the principle is the same. What are you gonna
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: do with that tension? If there's something that you can't
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: quite put your finger on, hit pause. If there's something
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: where you find yourself saying I just have an overactive
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: a conscience, maybe, but maybe not, hit pause. If there's
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: something that someone else has put their finger on and
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: you're mad then for bringing it up. But then when
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: you got alone by yourself, you can't get it off
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: your mind. You can't get it off your heart. It's
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: bothering you. Here's my advice. Let it bother you. Don't
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: rush by it. That tension may be God's way of
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: protecting you from becoming your own worst enemy. And ask
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: the question. I know it's painful, but I'm telling you,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: for some of you, this is like a curtain's gonna
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: open up and you're gonna have clarity. You're gonna hate
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: the clarity, but you're gonna look back and be so
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: grateful for the clarity, and ask the question, is their attention?
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Is their attention that deserves my attention? Is their attention
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: that deserves my attention? This is a preemptive strike against
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: becoming your own worst enemy. Because after all, every habit,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: you know this, every habit begins with the first time,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: and every pattern begins with the first line, and every
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: journey begins with the first step. So if something bothers
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: you about him, let it bother you. If there's something
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: that kind of bothers you about her, let it bother you.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: If there's something that kind of bothers you about the deal.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Let it bother you. If there's something that bothers you
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: about that set of circumstances or that invitation or whatever
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: it is, just don't rush by it, don't brush by it,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Sit on it, and let it bother you. Face it
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: until it either goes away or you decide to go
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: a different way. Because what oftentimes begins is nothing more
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: than an uneasy feeling, over time becomes something that is
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: supported with reason or insight. It's that moment that David
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: had as he crept up behind King David, and it's like,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait what I mean? Yes,
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: in one context this makes perfect sense. In another context,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I am about to murder my father in law. What
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: was I think you? So? I'd like for you to
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: consider making this commitment. We're gonna have a commitment for
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: each of these, these three ideas, and the first commitment
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: is simply, this is simple. Would you be willing to
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: pause until you pinpoint the cause? Would you be willing
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: to make this commitment? I'm gonna pause until I pinpoint
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: the cause, or another way of saying it, I'm going
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: to explore rather than ignore my conscience. I'm going to explore,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: why does that bother me? Why am I an easy
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: about that? Everybody else says it's okay, everybody else is involved,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: everybody else does it this way. I'm gonna explore, rather
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: than ignore my conscience, is there attention that deserves your attention.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: If so, pay attention, because that's a decision you will
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: never regret. In fact, that's a decision that will lead
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: to fewer regrets. That's a decision that will ensure that
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you don't become your own worst enemy, assass