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Juan Amodeo - Standup comedy · Comedy Central Stand-Up

• 0:02
  Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you very much, well, thank you all.
• 0:21
  Thank you very much. I' m really glad to be here, but
• 0:26
  I' m gonna introduce myself a little bit. My name is Juan Amodeo.
• 0:30
  I know I don' t notice much, but just in case I
• 0:32
  say it, I' m Andaluz I had to say it because I got
• 0:41
  a message from Andalusia and we' re a little tired. We' re
• 0:46
  sick and tired of the clichés you have with us You know, we'
• 0:52
  re sick and tired of horses. He' s taking her on horseback,
• 0:55
  not there I didn' t go out these holidays. So, my mother
• 1:00
  applauds me for buleria. No, no, that doesn' t happen.
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  That' s not what I' m telling you. Like Andaluz, we
• 1:08
  are also obliged to be funny, because whenever you go outside Andalusia is typical
• 1:12
  of not listening to you speak and say hello Hostia. You' re Andaluz,
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  you' re Andalou for a cool, huh, for a cool?
• 1:22
  You' re andalo say something funny. He tells a joke that says,
• 1:27
  " There are people who are andalusia, who are really stupid, don'
• 1:30
  t think everyone there is funny" There are no stupid people, really authentic
• 1:34
  and there' s a lot of example you can look for. We'
• 1:38
  re not all funny. If it' s true that I have an added
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  pressure, because of course, as an Andalusian, I have to be funny.
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  But besides, I' m a humorist. So, that already puts
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  a pressure on you and you have to be ready to tell jokes all the
• 1:49
  time. I mean, it' s like all the time. And if
• 1:52
  you don' t tell jokes all the time, people get offended and say
• 1:56
  uncle this is a lie. No. This I asked for for alienxpres in
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  one way and it has arrived in another way. It' s not Andalusian
• 2:00
  what happened. I' m not here anymore. Thank you this andalou has
• 2:09
  arrived defective. But if I tell you it' s a problem, because
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  many times it creates conflict. No, for example, the other day I
• 2:21
  ' m in a bar. This is real. I' m in a
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  bar and I' m having a beer with a friend and so and there
• 2:28
  comes a kid who liked my videos men in fashion you' re from videos
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  no and men yes, my model, I can take a picture of you
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  and say man, of course, I take the picture. Not his distance
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  and everything doesn' t. Maybe he' s in Bosnia and I'
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  m not here and we take the pictures. Both very well. Thank you
• 2:40
  very much. And now comes the demand that I' m mooring. Tell
• 2:46
  me uncle I can ask you a favor, tell me, you, you
• 2:53
  can tell me a joke that is not now, no, it' s
• 3:00
  not the way, no, no, please, Modeo is the time.
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  No, I really don' t Let' s tell each other a joke
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  and come here Modeo' s gonna tell a joke I' m really not.
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  I' m here with my friends and I' m gonna fuck off
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  this guy who doesn' t joke and he' s going away mad.
• 3:14
  You, imagine, we' re going to be polarlo to another profession.
• 3:15
  You, imagine this person is a fan of Nacho Vidal and Nacho Vidal is
• 3:22
  found man. Nacho how about, Nacho, sung, sung, Nacho,
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  can take a picture of you with me. Yeah, right, Nacho,
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  there' s great, Nacho, Nacho, all right, well, Nacho,
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  Nacho, sorry, Nacho, you, Nacho, you, you,
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  Nacho, Nacho, Nacho, you, you can me? Nacho, you
• 3:52
  can give me a dick here to a boy. It' s not clear
• 4:14
  if he asks me to laugh, nacho and you' re going to ask
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  him. But, well, it' s not just the Andalusians who suffer
• 4:17
  from clichés. It suffers from topicality throughout Spain, all over the world.
• 4:20
  No. In the end, for example, you want Andalusian, yes,
• 4:24
  tell me a joke, that you are from Madrid, yes, well,
• 4:33
  give me tap water, no, because uh, not that you are from
• 4:48
  Andorra, yes, give it like and subscribe. Please love a bosing.
• 4:53
  I don' t know things, not things, things from Andorra. Not
• 5:01
  a bossing. Here' s a game, a video game that I see,
• 5:05
  I don' t know things. But, well, I think this
• 5:08
  whole topic thing is communication issues. I mean, in the end we have
• 5:11
  so many social networks, we actually think we know everyone. And it'
• 5:15
  s not true that social networks have taken a lot of things away from us,
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  like linking well now as it is linked on social networks, on Instagram,
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  hello pretty without h and with w i mean Before it was a nicer
• 5:27
  thing. Not before. No, or, for example, giving like to
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  an old photo to say here I am. Hey, let me see that
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  I' ve seen all your instagram. It used to be much better.
• 5:34
  You used to see the brave people, really, those people who called the
• 5:38
  landline of the person they liked. And it' s really people if they
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  don' t know what a landline is, be happy, because all we
• 5:46
  know, what it is are people at risk. I' m telling you
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  right now, uh, we' re getting older, uh, you remember
• 6:00
  what I mean, that phone call didn' t start when it was called
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  that call started the day before. Hey, I' ll call you tomorrow
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  at 8: 30. You' re gonna take it, yeah, sure,
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  no, yeah, please, don' t fuck your father, no,
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  no, no, no, I swear to you at half past eight.
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  The next day I was calling your hairstyle pi and everything, uh,
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  pee for God' s sake, I didn' t fuck the father,
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  for God' s sake, Pi, Pi who' s hello, very
• 6:46
  good. We called him from Abon how about uh you didn' t have
• 6:50
  another one. If you remember what Bon is, take care of that cough
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  and watch your eye there, which is also true that we always mess with
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  social media. Truth It is not that social networks, but that they have
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  lied to us all their lives in movies, have lied to us forever,
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  forever, for example, showering in pairs in movies as it is. That
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  ' s wonderful You' ve showered as a couple before You' ve seen
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  the loss of dignity that you have, that is, in the film as
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  that person is, it' s not going to make a heterosexual couple,
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  not that man breast or giant. Not the guy takes off his T-
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  shirt, not and closet, a four- door potter with a stick and
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  everything not the guy and tells him we go to the shower honey and they
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  both go to the shower all very nice. They enter that bathroom that fits
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  your floor, in the bathroom that they have there and is there, in
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  the bathroom all wonderful, a plate of giant showers. Enter he takes off
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  his shirt, all full of abs or a hair, short toenails. True,
• 8:01
  there are people who are finding out and whose toenails. Is it cut?
• 8:03
  Is it cut? It' s her, isn' t it,
• 8:07
  her? Perfectly takes off the Minnesota timewors shirt, not you. The best
• 8:11
  thing about your entire Bride' s T- shirt would be that of Betti
• 8:13
  ' s spon, not the Minnesota Tumbleword, not that lady. And now
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  take her. He' s taking off his cigarette. The cigarette goes down
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  perfectly, gives more than unbuttoning. The button' s down, the cigarette
• 8:24
  ' s looking. I know people who have had to bury with the cigarette,
• 8:26
  uh, when you take off the cigarette gets to the ankle level,
• 8:28
  you get to step on the toss, that' s what. But that
• 8:39
  ' s not the end of it. R takes the take my colleague not
• 8:41
  without domineering t- shirts. He takes off his underpants, no, and
• 8:45
  you can see there' s security white underpants. He' s sure when
• 8:48
  that goes down there there' s no bike braking I understand there, no,
• 8:54
  no, no, that' s perfect, everything, perfect, everything
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  doesn' t get off perfect and now they' re both in the shower.
• 8:58
  Not her, too, it' s going to show that a movie
• 9:03
  is already going suit- and- gown that you say. That' s
• 9:05
  movie. That' s also a dream in your dough in your house,
• 9:07
  pussy, is that it' s very rare not everything and now loosed of
• 9:11
  panties game that you say. Of course, I want you to know about
• 9:13
  this award panties that you' ll say gas. If there are types of
• 9:16
  panties, uh premium panties not what you buy yourself, not what you say.
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  You' re so new not kind of that already the one who uses
• 9:20
  your peace sport to sleep that it' s already a little bit of a
• 9:22
  do. Then there' s the till and the panties three, since the
• 9:26
  last step, which is the rule Braga, which is that many guys don
• 9:30
  ' t know or we applaud. Don' t let' s not do
• 9:37
  this better than half ch. We' re not going to stay there,
• 9:43
  uh, the Braga, the rules are the ones that were in Braga Premium,
• 9:46
  which are the panties of today' s game at home. Then she
• 9:48
  must have walked a little bit of herself and Braga. Third, it'
• 9:50
  s obviously the Braga, which he doesn' t use at all says po
• 9:52
  for the rule. The case I' m going to gives you a stain
• 9:56
  on the way forward. What it means is that the two of them get
• 9:58
  into the shower Everything is perfesing this wonderful. They start kissing the waterfall water.
• 10:01
  You both like water or cold heat. There' s no fight there,
• 10:07
  uh, and it doesn' t happen to anyone who opens up in
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  the shower who drops the water from here who doesn' t expect it is
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  cold his dead. That doesn' t happen. The movie doesn' t
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  happen. And then you' ve seen yourself shower as a couple. If
• 10:24
  you' ve been so lucky, let' s take a shower first.
• 10:26
  No, not the two of you by the shower, I don' t
• 10:30
  give it a to. If you don' t touch my hair today,
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  I see my hair yesterday. It' s just that the movie' s
• 10:35
  always been plastered two days before to get it to her hair. No,
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  or I' m in fourth year. First thing takes your shirt off.
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  You look down all full of hair. The only mark that you have a
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  red mark. Here and here from what comes, being the belly, not
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  the Michelines. It' s like this, it' s all full of
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  red wa or it doesn' t lift you up and now it' s
• 10:54
  looking at you. You start taking off your white cardon, too, because
• 10:56
  he' s played you. You try to hide it a little bit because
• 11:00
  of course you try to put it, because there is code qr ay there,
• 11:11
  there you scan mobile and it comes out sample of total things that you
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  hide it under the mats of the feet keeps it, there you don'
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  t put the carpet of the feet and now you see she takes off her
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  shirt, doesn' t take off her dicks badly because it costs like I
• 11:26
  told you, no and now you both go. Shower shower plate. It
• 11:28
  ' s very small, very small. She likes cold water, you like
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  hot water there Now you can' t give br sonia, because the aguaca
• 11:35
  fits all wrong. I mean, it' s already clear in the movie
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  You' ve seen it That looks like the sun circus making love. You
• 11:39
  go there, I go here, you go there and you, uncomfortable already
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  turning around, not clear. Besides, you look at you and you see
• 11:45
  that it is full of hair and hair with the glass of the screen that
• 11:50
  makes jae suit you every time it turns to you sounds and then you look
• 11:54
  at yourself, thank you, but it looks at the feet that you have
• 12:05
  said in the other one, not in the movie. You have seen perfectly
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  those feet and on your feet that there are long nails and, above all
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  and more important, the hairs that come out between the nail and what is
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  base foot, okay, foot, base, nail. Here' s a
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  hole that looks like God said these hairs are left over from my ass.
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  We' re going around here. I mean, that' s what and
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  good. And I' m going to tell you one thing and pray,
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  pray for a shower plate, because what a fabric the loss of your dignity
• 12:31
  when you take off your underwear and whatever the tub you have the eggs hanging.
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  That' s disgusting and I' ll tell you one thing. The
• 12:37
  coss leaves hanging. It' s me who has the car parked two petillas.
• 12:41
  Thank you very much, bye or s or we are chas. Thank
• 13:00
  you. S. S. S.