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Unfriend or Unfollow? Social Media During Divorce · Family Law Talk

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Family Law Talk. Family Law Talk. Presented by
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Kirk Stangee of Stangee Law Firm, P.C. Stangee Law Firm
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: is a multi-state family law firm. Now, here's your host,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Kirk Stangee.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Family Law Talk. We have an interesting topic today.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: The topic is unfriend or unfollow, social media during divorce.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: And this episode today is based on an article on
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  Speaker 2: our blog, familylawheadquarters.com, dated September 20th, 2026. And the title
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  Speaker 2: of that article is, Should You Prune Your Social Media
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  Speaker 2: Friends During a Divorce or Family Law Case? So as
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: a follow-up to the episode, go on over to familylawheadquarters.com
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: and read this article for more information. But let's go
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: ahead and jump on into the topic at hand. When
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  Speaker 2: divorce or family law litigation begins, the question is whether
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  Speaker 2: it makes sense to go through the friends or the
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  Speaker 2: followers list and determine whether some of these individuals should
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  Speaker 2: be removed. Obviously, lots of individuals use social media. Some
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  Speaker 2: individuals post more personal stuff on their social media accounts,
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  Speaker 2: and maybe they have regular updates where they're on their
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  Speaker 2: daily putting stuff up there. Other individuals may be more
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  Speaker 2: casual with their social media use. Maybe they post infrequently,
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  Speaker 2: and when they do, it's generally not something sensitive or personal.
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  Speaker 2: in nature. So we kind of get into this dichotomy
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  Speaker 2: of how somebody uses social media. Some individuals might not
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  Speaker 2: have a whole lot of friends on their social media accounts.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe it's just close friends or family members. Some individuals, though,
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  Speaker 2: might have lots of friends or followers. They might be
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  Speaker 2: friends or followers with co-workers, distant acquaintances, maybe people they
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  Speaker 2: went to school with or college with a long time ago.
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  Speaker 2: It could be neighbors, old neighbors. It could be the
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  Speaker 2: parents of the children's friends. It could be people just
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  Speaker 2: in general that you knew from the past, but you
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  Speaker 2: rarely speak with anymore. So some individuals might have many
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  Speaker 2: hundreds of friends or followers or even thousands. So when
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  Speaker 2: we get into this topic, it's obviously going to vary.
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  Speaker 2: based on how many friends or followers somebody has and
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  Speaker 2: whether somebody's posting frequently and it's sensitive information versus somebody
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  Speaker 2: who doesn't post a whole lot. And just know this
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  Speaker 2: as well, this isn't about being petty. When we talk
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  Speaker 2: about removing friends or followers, it's really about being prudent
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  Speaker 2: when going through litigation in the family court because social
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  Speaker 2: media is real access in a lot of ways, particularly
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  Speaker 2: with individuals who post a lot of personal stuff on
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  Speaker 2: their social media accounts. I mean, they could post photographs.
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  Speaker 2: They could have lots of comments. They could have posts
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  Speaker 2: about family trips and activities they're on. They could have
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  Speaker 2: posts about interactions with close friends or family members, or
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  Speaker 2: maybe with individuals they're now dating, something like that. And
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  Speaker 2: so these posts can be sensitive. And the truth is,
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  Speaker 2: A photograph can be screenshotted easily and then given to
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  Speaker 2: the other party or the soon-to-be ex-spouse. A post can
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  Speaker 2: be forwarded. Comments can be repeated. Maybe photos that weren't
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  Speaker 2: meant for the whole world to see are all of
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  Speaker 2: a sudden disseminated to the other party or your soon-to-be ex,
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  Speaker 2: and then maybe that communication or the post is going
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  Speaker 2: to their attorney or guardian ad litem, and the judge
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  Speaker 2: ends up saying it. So individuals just have to be
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  Speaker 2: careful because social media is access. And really think about
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  Speaker 2: the offline equivalent. Would you go to lunch or hang
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  Speaker 2: out with your soon-to-be ex's close friends or family members?
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  Speaker 2: Probably not. I mean, you wouldn't go hang out with
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  Speaker 2: your soon-to-be ex's really close friends or family members, and
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  Speaker 2: you certainly wouldn't tell them intimate details of your life
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  Speaker 2: and show them photographs and tell them where you went
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  Speaker 2: on vacation or what your plans are. I mean, most
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  Speaker 2: individuals would never do that with individuals who are very
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  Speaker 2: close to the other party or the soon-to-be ex. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: that's just the truth. So if you're putting a lot
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  Speaker 2: of sensitive and personal information on your social media accounts
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  Speaker 2: and close friends and family members of the other party
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  Speaker 2: or the soon-to-be ex are able to see these and
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  Speaker 2: access it, it's the equivalent. of going to lunch with them,
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  Speaker 2: hanging out with them, and really telling them everything. These
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  Speaker 2: mutual friends can become a pipeline. And I'm not saying
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  Speaker 2: everybody does this. A lot of individuals want to stay
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  Speaker 2: out of it. But it could just happen where somebody's
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  Speaker 2: forwarding a post, a comment, a photograph. They're giving it
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  Speaker 2: to the soon-to-be ex or the other party, and then
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  Speaker 2: it's being passed around. And then it can create this pipeline.
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  Speaker 2: You know, hey, what's my husband or wife doing? Who
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  Speaker 2: are they hanging with? Have you seen anything on their
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  Speaker 2: social media page? And these kinds of things. And so,
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  Speaker 2: you know, that could be problematic when going through a
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  Speaker 2: divorce or family law matter. So for individuals who are
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  Speaker 2: posting a lot and it's sensitive content, it's stuff they
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  Speaker 2: wouldn't want, their soon-to-be ex or the other party to see,
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  Speaker 2: they really need to think about going through their entire
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  Speaker 2: friend or contact list or follow list and deciding who
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  Speaker 2: do they want to keep as friends or followers and
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  Speaker 2: who should they remove. And obviously this is going to
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  Speaker 2: be a situation-by-situation thing, but a lot of these individuals
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  Speaker 2: at the end of the day You know, they're probably
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  Speaker 2: not people you're talking to that much anyway. They're probably
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  Speaker 2: not people you're not that close to. So why keep
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  Speaker 2: them as a friend or follower when going through a
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  Speaker 2: divorce or family law matter? One of the other things
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  Speaker 2: that comes up is, what about Switzerland? Obviously, the country
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  Speaker 2: of Switzerland, known for being neutral, known for not taking sides.
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  Speaker 2: And so when a divorce or family law matter begins,
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people are going to want to be Switzerland.
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  Speaker 2: They're going to want to be friends with both parties.
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  Speaker 2: They're not going to want to take sides. And obviously,
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  Speaker 2: that's okay. it's not necessary for most individuals to take sides.
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  Speaker 2: It's not needed. There's no purpose behind it. But at
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  Speaker 2: the same time, if it's somebody that's equal friends with
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  Speaker 2: both parties going through the divorce or family law matter,
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  Speaker 2: do you really want them on your friend list or
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  Speaker 2: your follow list if you're posting a bunch of sensitive
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  Speaker 2: information that you wouldn't want the other party to see?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, you probably wouldn't. So look, it probably makes
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  Speaker 2: sense in a lot of instances to remove Switzerland from
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  Speaker 2: your friends list. Now, that doesn't mean you still can't
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  Speaker 2: be friends with them. I mean, you can still say hello.
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  Speaker 2: You might have lunch with them someday. You're not mad
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  Speaker 2: at them for not wanting to take a side. But
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  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, do you really want
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  Speaker 2: them seeing your photographs, posts, stories, comments, check-ins, activities, and
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  Speaker 2: other sensitive information while the case is pending? Probably not.
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  Speaker 2: Because it's just risky, particularly if you're the kind of
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  Speaker 2: person who's posting a lot of personal stuff. Likes and
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  Speaker 2: comments can tell you something as well. If there's certain
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  Speaker 2: individuals that are really interacting with the other party's social
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  Speaker 2: media posts, maybe they were doing it before the divorce
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  Speaker 2: was filed or after it was filed, these kinds of things,
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  Speaker 2: and they're commenting all the time, communicating, sharing information with
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  Speaker 2: the other party who could be your soon-to-be ex, I mean,
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  Speaker 2: these individuals, you want to think long and hard about
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  Speaker 2: keeping them on your friend or follow list. Again, this
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  Speaker 2: isn't about loyalty. It's not about taking sides. It's about
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  Speaker 2: access because they can become an information pipeline of sensitive
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  Speaker 2: information that maybe you don't want passed along. Now, true
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  Speaker 2: friends should understand, you know, most true friends, again, you're
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  Speaker 2: not asking them to take sides, but true friends will
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  Speaker 2: be your friend. through the divorce or family law matter
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  Speaker 2: and will probably naturally not want to remain social media
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  Speaker 2: friends with the other party or soon to be ex.
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  Speaker 2: But true friends should really understand this distinction, understand in
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  Speaker 2: divorce and family law litigation that you got to keep
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  Speaker 2: the circle tight and you only want to be social
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  Speaker 2: media friends with those you can wholeheartedly trust. So most
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  Speaker 2: individuals should understand. Another option would be Just posting less
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  Speaker 2: while going through a divorce or family law matter. You know,
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  Speaker 2: a lot of individuals in litigation should not be putting
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  Speaker 2: a lot out there on social media. And if they're
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  Speaker 2: going to put it out there, it should be light.
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  Speaker 2: There should be no way it could be spun in
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  Speaker 2: a negative manner in terms of somebody's, you know, in
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  Speaker 2: terms of how they're doing, in terms of their parenting
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  Speaker 2: skills or whatnot. So posting less is another great path
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  Speaker 2: for a lot of people to take. uh, looking at
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  Speaker 2: privacy settings as well to make sure those are tightened up.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, some individuals on their social media have their
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  Speaker 2: privacy settings removed basically, where anybody and everybody can see
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  Speaker 2: their posts. I mean, a lot of individuals do this
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  Speaker 2: on Instagram, post a bunch of stuff. They got no
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  Speaker 2: privacy settings. Anybody can read them. but posting less turning
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  Speaker 2: up the privacy settings can be another thing but but
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  Speaker 2: look ultimately on social media assume that anything you post
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  Speaker 2: could eventually be seen they could be seen by the
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  Speaker 2: other party who may be your soon-to-be ex-spouse they could
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  Speaker 2: be seen by their attorney the guardian ad litem the
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  Speaker 2: judge and others theoretically, and run everything through that filter.
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  Speaker 2: And if a social media post is not going to
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  Speaker 2: paint you in a positive light while going through litigation,
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  Speaker 2: you probably should think long and hard about even posting it.
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  Speaker 2: And so run everything through that filter of, do you
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  Speaker 2: want this out there while going through a divorce or
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  Speaker 2: family law litigation? Now, let's separate this from cases that
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  Speaker 2: are uncontested, where people are just pushing divorce or family
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  Speaker 2: law paperwork through, and it's by consent. I mean, in
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  Speaker 2: these kinds of instances, you don't need to be as
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  Speaker 2: worried about it. But in a case that's contested, that's
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  Speaker 2: going to be litigated, that may be tried, individuals need
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  Speaker 2: to be careful. And again, it's not about pettiness. It's
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  Speaker 2: about prudence. It's just understanding that social media content can
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  Speaker 2: turn into evidence in court. And for this reason, individuals
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  Speaker 2: should be careful with who they are friends with on
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  Speaker 2: social media, who their followers are, And they should be
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  Speaker 2: careful about what they're putting out there. And they should
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  Speaker 2: be careful about their privacy settings if they don't want
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  Speaker 2: the whole world seeing what it is they're posting. So
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  Speaker 2: definitely an interesting topic. One I wanted to cover today, again,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: is a follow-up to the episode today. Go on over
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: to familylawheadquarters.com. Read the article dated September 20th, 2026. And
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: the title of the article is, Should You Prune Your
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Social Media Friends During a Divorce or Family Law Matter?
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: So thanks for tuning in today. Stay tuned to our
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: next episode of Family Law Talk coming up.
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• 11:49
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