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Turn Your Divorce Date Into Your Rebirth Day · The Diva Details

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  Welcome to the Diva D-Town. Welcome to the Diva D-Town.
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  Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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  From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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  No filters, no limits.
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  Just fearless conversations to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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  Welcome, everybody. This is Diva Mia. Today, I wanted to talk to you a little
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  bit about certain dates, anniversaries, birthdays, divorce dates,
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  etc., because they tend to carry a heavy emotional weight.
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  Even when you don't think they do, they still impact you.
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  This came up this week because this is the two-year anniversary of my divorce.
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  I kind of just did a reality check of where I came from and how I feel now,
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  and I'm feeling actually really good.
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  I was looking back and remembering how broken I was two years ago and how much
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  I've grown and come into my own in the last two years.
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  I think that sometimes anniversaries and birthdays and divorce dates,
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  they have such a strong impact, but they really are just a date and time.
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  We attach a lot of meaning to certain dates, but do they really have that much
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  meaning? I think the difference is, is that we're marking time with dread sometimes.
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  We're marking time with gratitude when it's like a birthday, but it's a date.
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  Society sometimes reminds us of, oh, it's been a couple years.
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  Should you be sad? Divorce dates should have been wedding anniversaries.
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  I know it would have been 30 years with my ex this month.
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  It was just interesting that the days came and passed and they didn't have that
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  heavy of a weight on me anymore.
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  Instead of reframing, I guess, in pain, I looked at these dates as I survived,
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  I grew, and I got stronger. I think that's a good way for you to look at things.
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  I believe that if you can look at dates as memories of the past and lessons
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  to be remembered, it changes your whole perspective on things.
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  You know, those dates sometimes can feel strong. I think I'm stronger now because
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  of it. I've healed, I've grown, and I've gotten stronger.
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  You can too. That's the reality.
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  You can have your own self-talk around those dates.
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  When you get divorced, you have the opportunity to completely rediscover your
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  life, rediscover your worth, rediscover your health, reclaim your identity.
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  It's an amazing time to go through.
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  Yes, divorce is the death of part of your life or part of a chapter,
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  but you get a brand new chapter.
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  When you're an empty nester, a lot of people get sad and depressed.
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  Some people get happy. It depends on your perspective.
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  You get to shift focus from children to focusing on yourself.
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  You got to spend some great times together and cherish those memories.
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  And sometimes people break up and then they have breakup anniversaries and anniversaries
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  of the time they met. But you know what?
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  Look at back and look at what worked in the relationship, what didn't,
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  and build stronger boundaries for next time to make a better relationship.
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  Everything in life is a lesson. We should all remember the good times,
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  no matter what the change is in our life.
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  No matter what the anniversary dates are, remember the good times and have gratitude for that.
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  You've got to accept the bad times. They happen, but everybody goes through
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  good and bad times, and there will be hurt, and there may be bitterness,
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  depending on how you were treated.
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  But nonetheless, you are where you are now, and it's time to stop looking back.
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  It's time to start looking forward. Take the lessons. Carry that wisdom forward.
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  And improve yourself. Evolve. Elevate.
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  It's an amazing time to be alive. There's so much opportunity,
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  so much possibility in the world.
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  Grab a hold of it, rein it in, and go for things in life.
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  Don't hold yourself back anymore. It's time to step into that next chapter.
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  You gotta focus on all the possibilities.
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  Yes, you've had loss. Yes, you've had hard times, but so have other people.
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  It's time to move on to your next chapter.
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  I know I've mentioned it dozens of times about journaling, but journaling on
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  special dates can help you reconnect with who you are and how you've grown.
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  You can talk to it about how you've changed over the last year since the last
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  time you thought about it. You know, you get to celebrate some of your milestones.
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  You know, you can treat your divorce anniversary, change it from divorce maybe
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  to your rebirth anniversary.
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  Anniversary, a day that you were reborn into your new purpose,
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  into your new self, or a rediscovery day, a day that you rediscovered who you were.
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  It doesn't have to have a negative connotation.
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  You should celebrate milestones as much as possible.
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  You know, there's, you know, you can have rituals of remembrance like light
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  a candle and blow it out and say that part's done, but I don't like to dwell too much on the past.
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  Sometimes you can take a trip or do something life-giving. Nonetheless.
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  You get to remember it how you want to, but don't dwell too much on the past.
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  Shift your focus instead of looking back, looking for your new chapter.
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  Maybe make it a goal-setting day and say, you know what?
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  I'm going to have two different goal-settings days, first of the year,
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  and see where I'm at. And it's just a refresh date.
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  Surround yourself with grow-minded people, and you're going to find that the
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  growth-minded people will encourage you to heal and to grow into your new self.
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  You know, life is a series of seasons. There's going to be times when you're
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  happy. There's going to be times when you're sad.
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  Change is inevitable. It's always happening. You can't resist the change because
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  if you resist the change, you have regret of not moving forward.
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  So resisting only brings you pain.
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  Embracing change will bring you growth. Sometimes growth is good,
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  sometimes it's not, but we always learn from it.
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  I encourage you to have a special date in honor of how far you've come.
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  It doesn't have to be a date that was from the past. Make a new date and just
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  remember how far you've come.
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  I think life is not about holding on to what was. I think it's about how we move forward.
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  But you've got to be grateful. You've got to have gratitude for what it is and
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  hope for what will be or what you can make in the future.
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  Because we make our own lives. Everything that you have in your life, you've attracted in.
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  If your life is not the way you want it to be, then go change it.
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  But you have to make that choice. You have to make that decision. You have to grow.
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  I've noticed in many situations that instead of people going inward after a
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  divorce and really reflecting on who they are and what they want to become,
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  they distract themselves.
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  They overwork or they throw themselves into projects or they throw themselves
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  into jobs working for other people or charity or things that don't reflect on
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  what they need because they do that so they can avoid the internal pain.
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  And I get it. Distractions are fun.
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  Distractions help you avoid the pain.
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  I think everybody does them to some extent. Sometimes people are upset because
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  their children left, and so they distract themselves with a new hobby.
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  The reality is the distraction is just letting you avoid going internal.
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  And you need to go internal to find out who you truly are.
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  So if there's ever a process, I do recommend anyone, even if you're just going
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  through an empty nesting syndrome, I recommend that you go to therapy.
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  Maybe you get a coach. Maybe you go and you do some type of spiritual retreat.
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  But do something. Travel. Go somewhere.
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  You can do this. You can grow. You can weave your personal story into a new story.
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  You know, you can anchor your emotions. You don't have to anchor it in the past.
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  You can anchor it from now into the future.
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  And the more you expand into life and the broader you accept life's transitions,
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  the more you will grow into your future.
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  I hope this helped today. I hope this helped with changing seasons, changing dates.
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  I hope that you realize that those dates aren't your doom. Those dates are your
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  growth dates. This is Diva Mia.
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  I hope you have a wonderful day. Signing off. Take care.
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  Music.
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  We'll see you then.
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  Research and accurate to the best of our knowledge at the time of recording.
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  Information may change over time. New guarantees are made regarding the accuracy,
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  completeness, or reliability of any statements or opinions presented.
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  It is the responsibility of the listener to verify any and all facts that may
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  influence their decision.
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  This podcast is for information and entertainment purposes only and should not
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  be considered professional advice.