Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / ANAL STUFFING, FUCKING, AND FORGETTING FORMER SEX PARTNERS

Transcript

ANAL STUFFING, FUCKING, AND FORGETTING FORMER SEX PARTNERS · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:10
Hi and welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:13
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and we have two of my very
0:16
special friends here with me. Today we have Charles.
0:21
Charles hasn't been here for quite some time, and now I
0:23
finally roped him into doing a lovely little conversation with
0:27
us to the mic. And of course we have the kinky.
0:31
The kinky kinky kinky kinky Kylie.
0:36
Kylie. She called me the other day and
0:38
we're talking and she's like Mia, did you know that Spotify
0:42
takes and actually tags my name? If you were to look at Kinky
0:48
Kylie Google search going through Spotify, it pops up now
0:53
OK. All of my episodes.
0:55
So if you watch one of the episodes that I'm like that I'm
0:58
in, you can there's now this like little link and it says
1:00
kinky Kylie and you can click on it and it has a little arrow and
1:02
it'll take you to all the episodes that have listed as
1:05
kinky Kylie. It doesn't list the lesbian
1:06
version because I guess in Spotify's idea that's two
1:09
different people. But if it's listed as Kylie,
1:11
it's it'll take you to all of them.
1:13
But I'll go back on there and put kinky, kind of.
1:14
Creepy I. Think it's awesome?
1:16
I think it's. So cool.
1:18
Like my name's like recognized. Like I have a whole playlist.
1:21
OK, yes, I have a playlist within a podcast and I'm here
1:23
like I'm sorry and that. But it's so cool, go for it.
1:28
Just yell at everything. Yes.
1:30
All right, my Madden voice. OK, so we're gonna, we're gonna
1:36
talk about something now. Again, I'm going to reiterate
1:40
this. This is not for the weak
1:42
stomachs out there. Mia has a story.
1:46
Mia has a story now I post the video at the request of this
1:52
person in the video. And he's like, I want you to put
1:56
it on every platform. I want everybody to see it
2:00
because everybody loves my videos.
2:03
And I was like, oh, really? Now, So you do these videos.
2:07
I don't know what he does, but I know this one kinky
2:10
motherfucker. Now he's coming back to see me
2:12
very, very soon, and we're going to have to redo a lot of this of
2:17
the same kind of thing that he wanted.
2:19
So he didn't tell me too much, but I remember him from 15 plus
2:23
years ago. And he said, hey, I want to come
2:26
over and I want to put a bunch of stuff in my ass.
2:30
And I'm like, OK, this could be interesting.
2:33
It could be really interesting. I've done this before, but
2:36
usually it's with things like dildos, toys, you know,
2:40
ultimately, at the very beginning of it, I said, hey,
2:43
did you do an enema? And he's like, yeah, but I
2:46
really want to go out and really get a good flush with your
2:49
garden hose. And now, Kylie, you can laugh at
2:54
this point, but I was thinking he's not gonna stick my hose in
3:00
this asshole. I mean, no, no, no.
3:03
My very expensive hose. You know, this is interesting.
3:06
Now it's. Used.
3:07
It's used you. So Charles has been, you've been
3:12
here at the Manor for, you know, 3 plus years at this point.
3:16
And you've seen we, we always go through different hoses and it's
3:19
always been a factor. We have a pool and my husband
3:22
has been very particular about his hose that he buys.
3:25
You know, there's always like different ones and they'll,
3:29
they'll kink up, they'll RIP. We have different things.
3:31
Never have we had a fucking hose go up someone's asshole. 6
3:35
inches. Yeah.
3:36
I haven't seen any of that. Here never.
3:38
I wouldn't have thought about that.
3:39
Never. Maybe squirting on the asshole.
3:42
Never not inserted. That's what I thought he wanted.
3:46
I really thought, OK, we're going to put the head of the
3:49
hose straight up near his asshole.
3:51
Just kind of like spray inside. Yeah, like a bidet, Flush it
3:55
out, do a bidet. We have a bidet here.
3:57
He could have used one of our bidets.
3:59
But no, no, we had to say please don't get shit in the pool.
4:03
Just on the safe side. But he went over to the far side
4:06
of the pool and he proceeded to do an enema.
4:09
And I'm watching from the house and he's a good 20 feet away
4:13
from me and I see he flushes himself with an enema.
4:17
No big deal. And ultimately he sprays feces
4:21
all across the fence. Now I talk about some gross shit
4:23
on the podcast, but you should see Kylie's face right now.
4:26
Well. That is the point of an enema.
4:27
It's better to have it outside than on the.
4:29
Floor. There you go.
4:30
Better out than it, yeah. Well, that's the whole point.
4:35
That's an interesting way to do it, but it is 2 inches old.
4:38
It is and we had a gentleman years ago, Big Tammy who we put
4:43
a champagne bottle, enema, hot water bottle with the 2 bottles
4:47
of champagne and we got the champagne shits all across like
4:53
a fucking sprinkler. And that was, it was kind of
4:58
glorious to see because it was like, ha, we got home at that
5:05
time. At that time it was so much
5:06
champagne. You really weren't painting
5:09
shit. You really weren't.
5:10
I was. I guarantee you I would have
5:11
been 100%. Put a flashlight next to it.
5:13
A little showroom. This is.
5:18
The purple lights put to find all this the sperm of the hotel
5:22
room. Yeah, the black lights.
5:24
Yeah, the black lights. Yeah, don't ever.
5:25
Do that. Yeah, don't ever do that.
5:27
Hotel room, that is. Yeah, it's everywhere.
5:31
That's exciting ceiling. They say they saw a show once.
5:34
The maids said the number one item that gets ejaculate on it
5:38
in a hotel room is the remote control.
5:40
That and the pillows. #1 remote control pillows.
5:43
Are great, bad, wonderful. Those are bad, Yeah.
5:46
Just remember next time you go somewhere I bring my own shit
5:48
when I go somewhere I bring a sheet and put it on top of the
5:50
bed and I hope it's not too cold.
5:52
I just, I want a barrier and I'm a nasty bastard.
5:54
I don't. Think you're a nasty bastard at
5:57
all? I think you're mentally
5:58
perverted, but I don't think nasty.
6:03
No, I don't think nasty. All right, So ultimately he was
6:08
ready for the hose. We put the garden hose and gave
6:11
it to him and he's like, yeah, just kink it.
6:13
And then once you shove it in my ass, I was like, whoa, whoa,
6:15
what? Like for real?
6:18
Anyway, we've got to do the honors.
6:21
This is the thing. She got all of these heels and
6:25
she knows that she will bust her ass in these heels.
6:28
She doesn't have a pair of normal shoes, so she's been
6:32
wearing no shoes when we go out. She needs mud boots.
6:36
She needs mud boots. Yeah, Yeah, she really does,
6:39
because we've done a couple of recessions.
6:42
Yeah, she needs some sexy dominatrix mud boots.
6:45
That's what she needs. Look at those.
6:47
I mean, her birthday is coming out and I have to look into
6:48
that, yeah. Yeah, 100%.
6:50
But ultimately the garden hose was something else.
6:53
I was like shouting profanities of disgust because that's what
6:57
he wanted. He wanted degradation,
6:59
humiliation. He wanted he was really obsessed
7:03
with the the Black Power new world.
7:05
BMW Black New world Order. There you go.
7:08
And he wanted, you know, advertisements on his ass.
7:12
I felt like we were doing NASCAR advertisements on his ass and
7:16
then what? Massengill.
7:18
Sticker. Yeah, Massengill Sticker it.
7:21
Really cool for bumper stickers. I mean, he kind of had bumper
7:23
stickers. He just kind of looks like a
7:26
review, like like like lights. We could advertise all the
7:29
things that went in them too, yes, all the different materials
7:32
you get on the list of things that went in.
7:34
But yes, yeah, corporate sponsorship or lawsuits, I don't
7:38
know. I.
7:40
Don't think anybody wants to go into court for that shit.
7:43
It's like, Your Honor, you ain't going to believe this shit.
7:46
Literally, it was all over it. So why did you bring it in here?
7:49
No, no, case dismissed. Just make this go away.
7:54
But you never know. It's insane.
7:56
It's absolutely insane. But Needless to say, we go into
7:59
the dungeon and Liv is still kind of in shock with all of it
8:04
because she's like, it's sprayed on my leg.
8:06
And I'm like, yeah, OK, I hate that for you.
8:09
You know, rubber boots would have been great.
8:12
And so we're in the dungeon. Ultimately, he wanted a fist to
8:16
start with. To start, he wanted a fist.
8:18
He wanted a fist, so that indicated something to you all
8:22
that the fist was smaller than anything else we stuck in his
8:25
ass. Nice, yeah.
8:26
He's bare her. Hand he's had some experience.
8:28
She's got a nice pretty small hand, right?
8:30
Small hand, yeah. And so she wore typical glove
8:34
that we have this just regular surgical glove, and he kept
8:37
wanting to go down further. And she's like, no, no, no, no,
8:40
can't do that right now. Mia has to get a different type
8:44
of glove. Usually I would carry a
8:46
veterinarian gloves. I had a pack of those for a long
8:50
time, but I've used them over the years.
8:53
One time my hand got stuck in a guy's asshole.
8:56
So that that was fun, but. How long was it stuck?
9:03
I would say under a minute. Did you have to unclench your
9:06
fist? Was that the issue?
9:09
I no, it wasn't my fist that was the issue, it was that I plunged
9:13
it down deep, almost to my elbow.
9:16
OK. And he had an orgasm.
9:19
Oh, and everything contracted. And yes.
9:23
And I was like, whoa, he didn't tell me.
9:25
OK. And when that happened, I was
9:28
like, you know, trying to pull it back.
9:31
Yeah. And then I had to pull his
9:33
rectum further with my other hand to pull mine out because of
9:38
the suction was so intense. Interesting.
9:41
New anatomy. Yeah, I don't know it clinched
9:44
down with that. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy.
9:45
Oh yeah. Like shark jaws, that was
9:49
extremely unpleasant. But I had veterinarian gloves,
9:51
so it wasn't too bad. But I had to go get her a dish
9:54
glove. And yeah, he went a long ways up
10:00
with that dish glove. Man experience.
10:03
It was it was quite the experience all together and
10:06
ultimately we sunk a mini Coke can.
10:09
We we went a mini champagne bottle.
10:13
We did a monster can and I said I will never think of monster or
10:19
any of those things the same way.
10:20
Oh, you. Forgot the good one.
10:22
What was the good on earthquake? Yes, the.
10:24
Brown liquid water. Yes, and then he wanted to shake
10:29
those items up and then birth them.
10:38
There's some theme music to that for the dancer.
10:41
You know I need to have rewrite me some music.
10:44
No ACDC has you shook me all night long Outlet OK.
10:48
Yeah. What's the other one?
10:50
What did Elvis have something like Shake shake, rattle and
10:53
roll? Was that?
10:54
Was that Elvis? I don't think that was Elvis,
10:58
but he did have one one song with a shake.
11:01
OK, yeah, we're getting off topic of the.
11:03
Taylor's Yeah, let's. Not bring Elvis into this right
11:06
Could. We not she would not destroy
11:08
Elvis's memory. Elvis could handle it.
11:10
I think he's a tough man. Listen.
11:12
If Elvis could have handled anything anally, that would have
11:15
stopped his bowel obstruction and he probably could have shit
11:20
more. Submit.
11:21
The mental. Problem.
11:22
The mental fortitude to see it and talk about it, I think he
11:25
could handle it. No, he was a good old Southern
11:28
boy who was very sheltered. I'm a good old southern boy.
11:31
Filthy. But you weren't sheltered.
11:33
You were very exposed. Fair enough.
11:37
Elvis was very traditional. Well, some of those people have
11:40
met a perverts. Yeah, you've been a lot of them,
11:43
too. Yeah.
11:44
They went to church. You know, they're anything.
11:46
And they're just nasty as we are.
11:48
Yeah. And I say that in a good way.
11:50
Well, we're going to not taint Elvis's name at this point.
11:54
Please don't, please, we'll leave him alone.
11:56
Could we not bring up any major artist and just not have them
12:00
involved in this story? I don't even want my name in
12:02
this story and I'm so glad I wasn't here.
12:06
You could handle. It.
12:07
And I don't want to. It's not a matter of whether or
12:09
not I could. It's a matter.
12:11
Or not. It's a matter of choice.
12:13
I probably should not do this. I could.
12:16
Oh my God. That's I can take it or leave
12:19
it, I can handle it, I just don't want to.
12:20
No, thank you. I'm not taking it.
12:22
It's not. Still but.
12:24
Bigger thing is, you know, I, I, I prefer seeing it on women
12:27
honestly, but two inches old one does.
12:29
Well, OK. Women are prettier, usually.
12:31
Fair enough. I've met some men.
12:33
I've met some men and I'm like, damn, I don't think I could have
12:35
ever pulled it off. There are some men out there
12:36
that are prettier than women. Yeah, I'd say so.
12:39
Yeah, let's just be honest. Yeah.
12:40
Anyway, objects. Yeah, so he wanted us to do the
12:45
slogans and the advertisements for these items before we stuck
12:49
them in his ass and made them disappear.
12:52
I felt like it was in a magic show.
12:54
I wonder if they have some kind of algorithm One day, every time
12:57
you Google it, I'm going. To hashtag those items.
13:01
Somebody's going to miss quick and see that and they're going
13:04
to oh wow, I don't want anymore, or they might want more.
13:07
I don't know Yeah, trying to the king.
13:09
Shame. I guess it depends on everybody
13:11
it. Depends on the person.
13:12
I don't feel like having chocolate milk for a while.
13:14
Yeah, I didn't drink it anyways, thank God.
13:18
Well, here's the kicker now. This is my kicker at the very
13:22
end of all of this, because, again, we're not going to yuck
13:26
someone's Yum. But.
13:27
You know, like what you like. Yeah, you like what you like
13:29
what you like. I like some weird.
13:31
Shit, I've had some weird shit in my ass.
13:32
This is the part. Yeah.
13:34
We'll leave it at that, right? They're king.
13:38
Shame in me that's. No, no further exclamation is
13:42
needed. Thank you, Charles.
13:43
I had a king. Shame.
13:44
What was the weirdest thing you had in your ass?
13:47
Jesus. You think about it.
13:49
Think about it before. You answer your ass.
13:51
Think. Think.
13:51
About no, no, no, no. Just think about it before you
13:54
answer, OK? Weird.
13:56
This is such a broad term. I know, unusual, but I'm going
14:00
to tell you the rest of the story and then you tell me your
14:02
answer. Gotcha.
14:03
OK, so we're right at this point where I leave the room, I'm done
14:08
live. Is it's her duty now to clean?
14:11
Duty. This preschool.
14:18
And she takes all the items that were scattered about, that were
14:22
in his rectum, in his whole cavity, and she throws them
14:26
away. And he's like, So what you do
14:28
with that? And she said I threw them away.
14:32
And he's like, oh man. He's like usually I just wash
14:35
that stuff off and give it to my roommates.
14:39
He's saved on the planet. He's recycling.
14:40
Yeah. I really, I hope nobody ever
14:43
does that to me, but yeah, we probably have had it done.
14:46
Yeah. You just can't think about
14:48
things. Yeah, isn't that crazy?
14:50
And then he then proceeds to tell Liv a story and how the
14:55
week prior him and someone else decide they're going to make a
15:00
salad and put a cucumber in it that they used to fuck his
15:04
asshole with and they fed it to friends and family and the crowd
15:09
goes silent. Yeah, we might need to delete
15:14
that part, sense that we're just witness to a crime.
15:26
This testimony somewhere, some court across America.
15:32
I'm just going to plead the 5th, so I don't know shit.
15:35
I blocked that crap from my memory.
15:37
Literally. You know, literally we deal with
15:40
so much in on on the kink side of things, and I've I've made
15:46
food through and through, but I would never ruin food at that
15:49
thought for anyone and then make someone eat something that was,
15:54
you know. I could do it to certain
15:56
assholes that deserve it. I know you could.
16:00
But I mean, they're really going to fucking have this coming to
16:03
sit your family or some random strangers.
16:05
There's some asshole that needs to be punished.
16:07
I can see myself doing that. I get it.
16:09
I mean, I think like pedophiles in prison.
16:11
Fuck yeah. I think that that's very doable.
16:14
Osama bin Laden would have been great.
16:15
Sure. Yeah, we have a little chocolate
16:17
pudding. Sure, you'll get it all in your
16:20
beard there buddy, before something else horrible comes.
16:22
Sure, I got that they can. Hashtag his name on this too,
16:26
yeah? I'd rather not.
16:31
Well, no, nobody's gonna come out, but fuck that guy.
16:34
I'm glad he's dead and I hope it hurt.
16:37
All right, so anyhoo, that was my story on anal play and that
16:42
was one of those things. But I said to telling Liv and I
16:47
had told Kylie, so Charles, you can get on this story.
16:51
Years ago, my sister and I were doing a session together, Sheila
16:56
and I, and we were in, we were in my old dungeon and this guy
17:01
came in and he brought in all these condiments and champagne
17:05
and wine and different things. And he had asked me what
17:08
specific things we liked to drink.
17:10
And I was like, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah.
17:12
And so I told him and he brought in like cranberry juice, very
17:16
specific to what we wanted. And then he brought in things
17:20
that he liked French dressing, 1000 Island dressing, any,
17:25
anything that was a very liquid. This is.
17:26
Going to be interesting, isn't? It it was very interesting, but
17:30
it was nothing about sticking anything in his asshole.
17:33
In this session we pretty much just put it in our mouth,
17:38
swished it around and baby birded it to him.
17:41
And then then after the entire thing was done and over with
17:46
then we went and he asked for my sister to urinate in his big 40
17:52
oz Gulp Big gulp. And I honestly I did not know my
17:58
sister could urinate that much, but she filled up a full 40 oz.
18:03
You know I have heard women have small bladders but when I've had
18:06
a golden showers holy shit I was surprised how much water a woman
18:10
can hold. I've always heard how dainty the
18:12
small the bladders are. Yeah, but no, she pissed like a
18:16
horse. Yeah, but you can, you can hold
18:18
up so much in your bladder. She was saving.
18:21
Yeah, she's probably saving it. OK.
18:23
Yeah, that's honestly, you hear different things, but I've
18:27
always been told the longer you hold your urine, it's the more
18:30
you build up a tolerance to have that bladder control.
18:34
To a point and then it goes opposite way and you're getting
18:36
incontinent because you're holding the that urethra, it's
18:39
not supposed to be held that. Long see, there you go.
18:42
Learn something new, all right? Kylie is sitting in silence.
18:46
Kylie, do you have any ass play stories?
18:49
Well, I just did anal for the first time not too long ago.
18:52
Do tell us. Wasn't that interesting.
18:55
He's done it now twice because it's been a couple weeks, but
19:00
not really my thing. Not really my thing, which I
19:02
knew it wasn't going to be. I've never really cared for
19:05
anything to do with my ass. That was the first time anything
19:08
is going on your butt. No, it was the first time that
19:10
like I've been fucked in my ass. I've had fingers here and there
19:13
and I've had tongues and I've had butt plugs occasionally, but
19:19
nothing like big. Like it was all very, very
19:21
small. How'd you like the small stuff?
19:23
Not really, didn't particularly care for I don't like anal at
19:26
all. It's very uncomfortable, it's
19:28
painful, it's I just don't care for it at all.
19:31
I don't like the feeling of it has.
19:33
Anybody ever prepped you for it correctly?
19:35
Yeah, I've had, yeah, it's been done.
19:38
It's just, I don't know. I just don't.
19:40
It's not one of those things I enjoy, but I do it because I
19:42
know that the people that I'm with, a lot of the times, a lot
19:44
of times let people do things I don't necessarily enjoy because
19:47
they enjoy it, because then I'll get off on their enjoyment of
19:50
it. I've done that.
19:51
And so that's kind of where if I'm doing any kind of ass play,
19:54
like if I'm letting you put my ass in any way other than
19:56
spanking it, it's because I know that you're enjoying it.
19:58
Well, one thing to enjoy. If you want to do it later with
20:02
somebody, it's to get really, really fucking horny first, you
20:06
know what I mean? And then prep for anal and it
20:09
just gets so much better. I mean, maybe I don't know.
20:12
I just know that I don't particularly care for.
20:14
It have you noticed how like when you get a spanking, is it
20:17
better when you're spanked when you're horny?
20:20
Spanking is great, period. Is there anything that gets
20:23
better when you're really horny? Pain wise, you might be wired
20:28
different than some of. Us.
20:28
No, not really. I mean, I know I go into
20:32
subspace when like when the pain gets to a certain level, I'll go
20:36
into subspace and then the pain just turn every everything
20:39
painful at that point just turns into pleasure until it turns
20:42
back into pain, but usually takes a while, but not really
20:45
arousal. Arousal doesn't really do that.
20:47
OK. That's one of the things I can
20:49
take more pain when I get aroused.
20:52
No, taking pain arouses me more than not the other way around.
20:55
It depends. I can get aroused a little bit
20:58
from pain. It's just where everybody's got
21:00
their. Different.
21:01
Yeah, I think this is like I. But I do know, like with anal,
21:06
if you do it with somebody who doesn't know what the hell
21:09
they're doing and then she's like a hugely guy as a woman.
21:12
He's very experienced, I mean, and he, I mean, it was very
21:15
prepped and lubed and you know, I was in AI was even in
21:18
subspace. Like he made sure that I was in
21:20
subspace before doing it because he knows that I can handle more
21:23
pain when in subspace than I can outside of it.
21:25
And so I mean, I've been whipped and you know, stuff before and
21:29
it just still, it just does not. I just don't.
21:31
Want it Might not be your thing, it's just not my.
21:33
Thing. You tried it though.
21:34
Tried it. I mean, I'm still probably
21:36
allowed to do it here and there. Not very often, not every time,
21:38
but you know when he want occasionally a.
21:40
Little birthday present You're basically a service of.
21:43
Very much service and everything.
21:45
Service top service bottom service friend.
21:48
So have you ever used the fuck machine on your Hoo Haas?
21:52
No. OK, you ready to try the fuck
21:54
machine? Maybe I don't know, right?
21:56
It's. We'll find out it's.
21:57
Fun. I've used one.
21:58
Oh, it's a lot of fun. I don't know.
22:01
We'll find out. That's a lot of fun.
22:02
Maybe, I don't know. The thing that goes just go
22:05
slow. Yeah, she, she, You take big
22:08
Dicks, you could take a big fuck machine.
22:10
Honestly, it's great. Yeah, it it doesn't.
22:12
You know, it doesn't go limp. The main thing is position your
22:15
body right. Yes, and you can position the
22:17
machine any way you want. That black one I gave you, like
22:20
it tilts like completely vertical.
22:22
There's all kind of angles it does and you can have somebody
22:24
hold it for you. It is all kind of nice ways to
22:26
do things. Holy shit.
22:28
I don't know, I I'm not really a person that likes to masturbate
22:31
with dildos. So like the aspect of a sex,
22:33
like a buck machine doesn't really appeal to me because
22:36
that's just like it's more yeah, I just use vibrators when I
22:41
masturbate. And I mean, fuck, machines are
22:43
basically like, I don't know, I like penetration with people
22:45
that make sense, like penetrations more fun if it's
22:48
somebody. You're for the connection, yeah,
22:52
not the actual. You don't need a cucumber to get
22:54
off you, right? Somebody, somebody I can, I
22:56
mean, as far as masturbation goes, I can play with a vibrator
22:59
and get be just I. Get that?
23:01
As far as masturbate, I can. I can take care of myself.
23:03
Just yeah. Yeah, I know.
23:06
Me. So things I've never really
23:07
thought of a fuck machine because like it's like a, it's
23:10
not a person I don't know. It's like I enjoy penetration
23:13
more with other people. OK, well, our machine can be
23:16
fun. Very true, very true.
23:20
Right now I feel like we're the triangle of perverts, you know?
23:23
So penetration. Penetration.
23:27
Yes, as long. As we're penetrating the whole.
23:29
Penetration, ejaculation, yeah. You're singing up, penetrating a
23:34
hole. You stop the conversation before
23:36
she started singing her song. Yes, Oh yeah, penetrate the
23:42
holes that are already there. But I mean, I've had every hole
23:44
pitch right now, just I mean at this point.
23:47
Nice. That's awesome.
23:48
Yeah, because I've done sounding and everything too, so.
23:50
That's awesome. Yeah, I lived at the sounding.
23:52
Have you had your armpits fucked yet?
23:54
No, I'm not going to. There are some things I'm not
23:56
willing to do. You're not putting your Dick
23:58
between my boobs to get it off. You're not.
24:00
Nope, not necklace. No, we're not doing.
24:03
We're not doing that. Not a thing, huh?
24:05
No, no, I'm not going to look down my boobs and think of a
24:08
Dick everything. No, it's not happening.
24:10
That's not because it lesbian background.
24:13
Not background, I am a lesbian. You're a lesbian who likes Dick.
24:18
Suck a Dick. There's a difference.
24:21
I can play with them, I can suck them.
24:22
Not dating one all. Right.
24:23
So totally. Off topic on this.
24:26
Well, we'll do a little closing on this.
24:28
I thought it was kind of interesting.
24:30
So periodically knowing how promiscuous I was before I met
24:34
my husband doing threesomes and crazy shit, all these all these
24:39
years, I would go back on my Yahoo account because my Yahoo
24:43
account, I've got all these pictures and videos and
24:46
everything else. And so somehow I thought that I
24:49
wanted this specific video. It was a Dick sucking video
24:53
because I'm like, that was a great Dick sucking.
24:54
I got to find it. OK, so I didn't find it was the
24:58
thing. I didn't find it.
24:59
However, I was going through my OneDrive on, on you on Yahoo and
25:06
it ends up on my OneDrive on my phone.
25:08
I download it onto my computer and it just says like video one,
25:11
video 3. And I was like, oh, OK, I don't
25:14
think this is the right video. Anyway, I opened it and I was
25:17
like, well, who's that dude? And it was a guy that came into
25:21
the room and I have video camera obviously set up because here is
25:26
Mia, you know, from 15 years ago.
25:29
And I was like, huh, look at that.
25:32
It is a 30 minute fuck video. Nice little surprise.
25:36
I was like. Sad thing is I don't remember
25:40
him. Remember who that is.
25:43
That happens. Yes, it happens all the.
25:45
Time for some of the ones I did. And I downloaded another video
25:48
and I was like, huh, another guy?
25:50
I don't remember him. Do you remember every sexual
25:53
encounter you've had? Hell.
25:54
No good. I don't feel old then.
25:56
No, no. I mean my body counts like with
26:00
and, but you remember the 20 you.
26:02
Remember the people though, and see I didn't remember the
26:04
people. I don't.
26:05
Not, not all of them. OK.
26:07
OK, to be fair. There's one or two that. 20 is a
26:09
far cry from other people's numbers.
26:12
OK, I'm. Also only 24.
26:13
But 20 is still yeah, you can remember that.
26:16
I mean, I'm only 24. It's I think I have a whole lot
26:19
of experience that I built that's pretty good.
26:20
You're OK. That's pretty good.
26:22
You're OK When you're 45, we'll be like Cat.
26:24
What's your number, girl? I believe in like 50s on them.
26:27
56 bitch it. Better be more than that I want.
26:32
To hang around me. Who knows?
26:33
She went down like 111. Perfect one is Jesus.
26:37
I'll be 2021 years. You should quit complaining.
26:40
Yeah, quit complaining. Charles and I are going to be
26:42
elderly in like 20 years. I've started there.
26:46
Yeah, like serious. Yeah, OK, shut up, Kylie.
26:49
Anyway. You keep working on that count.
26:52
Don't be ashamed of it. Working on it.
26:54
Just have some fun. I'm working on it.
26:56
Look, I've gotten it up. Listen, Morgan Freeman says
26:59
don't let the old man in. So I'm not letting the old woman
27:02
in at all. There you go.
27:03
I'm going to fuck him young. I'm going to stay young.
27:05
There you go. And.
27:07
It's good for your health. Yeah.
27:09
See, I fuck older people. I don't have daddy issues and I
27:14
certainly don't have Mama issues I want I got.
27:16
Mommy and daddy issues so. I want usefulness.
27:20
I got the usefulness, I just need someone who knows what the
27:23
fuck they're doing give me. That film too, between They
27:25
Don't Matter, yeah. Charles like I fuck anything,
27:27
OK? Well, yeah, not. 30 and up just.
27:31
But you know, a lot, OK, I'm flexible, all right?
27:34
I don't have any rigid standards.
27:37
I mean, I don't. Know I can't go between younger
27:41
than 24 I don't think I could fuck I'm like I'm sorry I.
27:43
Don't care about the age. I mean like assholes.
27:45
I don't like assholes and I can probably fuck one that I don't
27:48
like, but I'm never going to do it again.
27:50
That's where we're going to end it.
27:51
Because are you talking about assholes as in rectums, or you
27:54
just stuck on Dicks people there, Yeah.
27:56
No assholes, no rectums, I'll fuck no.
27:59
I like those. All right, so I don't like
28:03
assholes. There we go.
28:05
That is the end of this episode. That's the wrong way in.
28:10
There's no systems are right. Assholes are all welcome here
28:14
though. People and our and our
28:17
anatomies. All right, OK.
28:19
Well, until then, thank you both for joining me.
28:22
This is fabulous. It's.
28:23
Good to. See you all as always, this is
28:26
right over. You know the 30 minute line?
28:28
That way it just gives people enough to listen to right before
28:31
work. I apologize.
28:32
Yeah. Sorry.
28:35
This is the story, all right, So until then, this has been the
28:38
latest episode of Call Me Mistress.