Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 11 – Inner Critic

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Ep. 11 – Inner Critic · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am Comedy Wood, and for those of you who don't know me, I am a certified life coach working with individuals on healing the relationship with themselves and letting go of the outsourcing of their self-worth so they can become their own resilient self-leader.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Today I wanted to tackle the topic of letting go of the inner critic.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, as much as we want to love ourselves, we simply cannot stop that voice in our heads.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: The one telling us that we are not good enough, smart enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, truthfully, the one that says that we are fill in the blank enough.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, really, what is the inner critic?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: The inner critic is that negative self-talk that loves to pop up when something doesn't go the way that we expected it to go or doesn't go the quote unquote the quote unquote the right way.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's a way that we end up discouraging ourselves.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's a way that we end up in judgment mode.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It can include anything from personal attacks on ourselves to uh name-calling, uh feelings of self-loathing, and just criticism all the way to complaints about who we are as people and just truthfully judgments about ourselves.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Negative self-talk can affect all of our thoughts and our feelings and our behaviors.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: What ends up happening as we allow that inner critic, that voice where it gets to keep talking to us, it allows the mind to almost um attach to the thoughts that we're having, and eventually the monkey mind just wants to take over.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, for example, if we um allow the inner critic its its time and space to continue to talk and self-loathe, it really brings down our self-esteem.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: And when our self-esteem starts to take a dip, that um false belief that we're not good enough or that we don't measure up really takes hold and then starts to affect how we show up in different areas of our life.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: So as our self-esteem takes a dip, we may find that our relationships start to suffer or we aren't able to perform up to what we know are our abilities at work or at school.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: It means that we end up starting to feel these feelings of worthlessness or unlovability, or um, just that we are invisible.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And um the self-critical thoughts will often cause us to be in a position where we aren't thinking clearly and therefore can't figure out what our next best step forward is, because we're in this spiral of um self-loathing and judgment.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: And there have honestly been several um studies out there that have have linked this low self-esteem with different mental issues that can pop up, such as depression or substance abuse, or eating disorders, because what happens is as we let that inner critic talk to us and really take hold and anchor into our thoughts and our emotions, the best way that we can try to combat that is through some type of emotional suppression.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: And um we might try to um numb out what what we're feeling, or we might try to distract ourselves, um, and so we end up taking on these emotional suppression techniques in order to avoid the negative feelings we're feeling, which all came and stemmed from the negative self-talk in that inner critic who was um putting us down in the first place.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, how can we improve um our self-esteem and our general well-being?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's to go ahead and calm that inner critic and um learn to quiet that self-judgment and the um complaints about ourselves that we we make to ourselves.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: One of the ways that we can start to quiet that inner critic is to uh repeat positive affirmations.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my clients know that I'm not one to really anchor into affirmations per se, because a lot of times uh affirmations are rooted in what I refer to as pendulum swing thinking, which is if our mind is stuck in one place and we try to just say a positive affirmation, our brain has a really hard time believing the affirmation because it's such a big swing, almost like that it like a clock, right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: That pendulum swing.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: However, if we can root ourselves in a positive affirmative, a positive affirmation affirmation or a positive affirmative statement about ourselves that we know is something that we believe about ourselves or that we know is true about ourselves, we're able to quiet that inner critic.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: So for instance, phrases such as I can or I am or I have would be great ways to start a positive affirmation.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: So for instance, one of the positive affirmations or power statements that my clients use a lot uh is I am valuable.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: That power statement is very simple, it's a very positive way to remind yourself that your uniqueness is your value, but it's all encompassed in this I am valuable statement.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we're trying to quiet our inner critic, when we're triggered and that inner critic starts talking, a very quick statement such as I am valuable or I am lovable can immediately remind our brain the positive about ourselves so that that inner critic can be hushed and quieted down.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um another way to settle and quiet down that inner critic is to practice mindfulness meditation, and what that means is just giving yourself that time and space to meditate for a few minutes and quiet the mind and just really uh concentrate on the present.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: I know that there are many people who have trouble meditating, it's really hard to quiet the mind, especially when we go into the process of meditation, thinking that we have to do it for 20 minutes or 30 minutes.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, what I advise is actually just the simple practice of um of presencing yourself, and by that I mean taking a few moments, just two to five minutes of just presenting presencing yourself in the present moment.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And to do that, you can use a simple breathing technique uh such as breathing in for a count of three and then exhaling for a count of six, and doing that three to five times.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: What that does by concentrating on your breathing, it settles down the thoughts that are running through your head, it settles down that inner critic and just gets you present in the current moment.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Another one, another technique that I often talk about is getting present with your five senses.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: So when you when you feel that you've been triggered, you hear that inner critic starting to judge you or saying these these negative, these negative statements to you and about you, it's taking a really deep breath from you know the core of your belly, and then just asking yourself, what do I hear in this moment?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: What are two to five things I can hear right now in this moment?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: What are two to five things I can smell in this moment?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: What is around me that I can touch?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what what are a couple things that I see in front of me?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: What's that taste in my mouth right now?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: And really presence yourself to what your five senses are actually experiencing because once again, that is a practice of being in the present moment.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: It again quiets the mind, it quiets that inner critic that wanted to start talking to you and saying all these negative things, and it allows yourself to give your mind that space, that space to not be in judgment mode and not be in this place of negativity with that spiral starting.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's recognizing the trigger and then shortening the time between trigger and recentering back to where you want to be.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: A third way to deal with uh the inner critic when you have time is to journal, is to really sit down and journal.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I talk about journaling in two different ways.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: One is to journal and to just really um writing down your thoughts, writing down what you were experiencing, what you were thinking, really labeling the emotions, naming them, because by giving your brain that output channel, it allows again that space to process it and it allows the space for it to um be released from your mind, so it's not it's not cycling back around and around in your brain.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: The other way that I often um talk to my clients about, which is also a form of journaling, is what I refer to as brain dumping, which is recognizing that the inner critic really had a lot to say and just allowing the ability to free write, to just brain dump everything that was that your inner critic was talking to you about, not worrying about grammatical correctness or punctuation, but just getting it out of your brain and onto paper, and then taking that piece of paper, ripping it up and throwing it away.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: The process of doing that not only allows you the space to name the emotions that you were having as well as to call out what your inner critic was saying, but you're getting it out of your system.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Again, the output channel for your brain to actually pen to paper, write it down.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: But then the third part of that, which is ripping it up and throwing it away, is an actual physical act of saying, I don't need this anymore.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to keep keep these negative thoughts around me.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so what that does is it is a way to actually physically free yourself, it's a physical demonstration of freeing yourself from what that inner critic wanted to say about you.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth is that being able to quiet down the inner critic, being able to quiet the judgment is a form of and practice of self-compassion.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because self-compassion is rooted in this concept of being a spiritual being, having a human experience, and you are doing the best you can with the information you have at any given moment.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we quiet the inner critic, we really are practicing a form of self-compassion.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're allowing ourselves the grace and space to do the things that we're choosing to do with the information that we have.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: While it may not always come out the way that we wanted it to come out, or it may not come out again, quote unquote, the right way.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: We are taking what we're experiencing, we're taking it as a learning opportunity, and we're going ahead and applying it forward.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: And what we when by quieting the inner critic, we're allowing ourselves a space to do that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: When we allow the inner critic to just jump into judgment mode and put us down and to tell us that we're stupid or that we're not good enough, we are giving in to those false beliefs and it's setting us up to go down that spiraling staircase, so to speak, where we're just in this ball of negativity, versus being able to take, again, being able to take what we've experienced, learn from it, and grow.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because truth be told, self-growth is an ever-evolving, ever-evolving practice, and it's all about what we can do to continue to move forward and move forward towards the goals that we're envisioning for ourselves and the life that we want to generate for ourselves.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever in a position or in a place where you feel that you would like to chat with me, I invite you to visit chatwithcomy.com and schedule a time to talk.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Be happy to talk to you about what's going on in your world and how I might be able to support you.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, I can be found on the web at www.cominywood.com.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, I am Comedy Wood and I wish you well.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Life happens for you, not to you.