Latest / onefjef / Un Kilogramo de Tortillas

Transcript

Un Kilogramo de Tortillas · onefjef

0:01
This
0:20
is episode 47 of onefjef.
0:24
47 shows up in strange, almost conspiratorial ways in pop culture,
0:29
most famously in Star Trek where it became a kind of hidden signature,
0:32
quietly appearing in dialogue, props and background details
0:36
until fans started hunting for it.
0:38
There's also a subtle human echo.
0:40
While most people have 46 chromosomes, 47 appears in certain genetic variations.
0:45
A small shift that changes everything.
0:49
Hola, mis amigos.
0:50
Qué tal?
0:51
I hope you're all thriving as always.
0:54
I have not learned the word for thriving in Spanish yet, but when
0:57
I do, you'll be the first to know.
1:00
I was just listening through all the recordings I made for this episode of, you
1:05
know, me rambling about whatever over the past couple weeks, and it's all over the
1:10
map, which, while it is a good reflection of my mental state over the past couple
1:16
weeks, it's not entertaining content.
1:19
You're probably saying to yourself, Jef, have you heard some of
1:22
the episodes you've released?
1:23
And to that I say, yes, I have.
1:27
Which is exactly why you should be thanking me for not including most
1:30
of my recordings for this episode.
1:32
Because I do, in fact, have a quality control department here.
1:35
It's just run by me and my head.
1:38
And my head said that most of the stuff I recorded for this was no bueno.
1:44
So I decided to start fresh.
1:46
Tired, but fresh.
1:49
Tired because I have not been sleeping well this week, because
1:52
it has been unseasonably hot.
1:55
Today it was 32 degrees.
1:57
And you know what?
1:58
I'm not going to tell you what that is in Fahrenheit.
2:00
Double the Celsius temperature and add 30.
2:03
It feels better if you work for it.
2:05
Anyway, yeah, hot.
2:06
But a dry hot.
2:08
Which makes it far more bearable, to be honest.
2:11
And it does cool down quite a bit at night, but it's still
2:13
rather warm in my bedroom.
2:16
I have an extra bedroom here, and I might actually switch to it,
2:19
because it's much more cave like, and I think it might be cooler.
2:24
They also don't do daylight savings time here, so the sun comes up.
2:27
Brutally early, and it's always the sun.
2:30
Rarely any clouds.
2:32
Which is very nice to wake up to, but it's impossible not to wake up to it
2:36
when it fills your bedroom with light at 630 in the morning, in spite of the
2:41
semi blackout shade that only seems to cast the room in a strange green glow.
2:48
I probably just need to go to bed earlier.
2:49
This is a CDMX Dispatch episode, if you haven't picked up on that yet.
2:53
Number five, numero cinco, and I have a moderately interesting announcement,
2:58
and that is that this will now be a podcast about the expat experience
3:02
in Mexico City, from all the angles, but I'll mostly be talking to expats.
3:08
I posted in an expat Facebook group a week or two ago to find people to interview.
3:13
And the responses poured in.
3:15
They're still coming in.
3:16
People want to talk about their lives.
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And I'm here for it.
3:20
Because expats are an interesting bunch.
3:24
Believe you me.
3:25
So don't turn that dial.
3:27
I'll also be changing the title of this podcast to Gringo licious.
3:35
That was a joke.
3:36
Or was it a joke?
3:37
I don't know.
3:38
Maybe that's a good title.
3:43
When I lived in London in my twenties, I remember noticing that
3:47
everybody always ended, often ended questions with the word, yeah,
3:53
like you're going to the store.
3:54
Yeah.
3:55
You want a receipt?
3:56
Yeah.
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It's a common thing.
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At least it felt like it was to me.
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Maybe it was just like an anomaly that everybody I was around was
4:02
doing it, but it seemed very common.
4:04
But in Mexico, in Mexico, it's often no.
4:08
Like, it's cool, no?
4:11
But you mean, it's cool, yeah.
4:13
It's nice here, no?
4:15
And I wonder why that is.
4:16
No versus yes, country.
4:19
I wonder if it's like an oppressor.
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Like, the UK very much, like, was an oppressor and a colonizer and
4:26
a, you know, did many bad things.
4:28
And Mexico was the oppressed to a great extent.
4:33
You know, taken over by the Aztecs and so forth.
4:36
So I wonder if that.
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That is why there's, it's a no here and a yes there.
4:41
The United States, I don't hear any of that.
4:42
There's not really a added on affirmative or negative to
4:47
questions or anything really.
4:49
Occasionally maybe, but not very often.
4:51
But, but yeah, it's interesting, right?
4:53
It's interesting, no?
4:55
See what I did there?
5:07
I learned a few days ago that you don't need to do a driving test to get
5:10
your driver's license in Mexico City.
5:13
There's a written test and some sort of sworn statement that you'll follow all
5:17
the driving rules, but no actual evidence that you're able to drive an automobile.
5:22
So, you know, different strokes for different folks, but this seems Unwise.
5:28
Although, surprisingly, I haven't seen a single car accident since I've been here.
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Although I have seen, on more than one occasion, someone cutting in front of two
5:36
or three lanes of traffic to turn left.
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So, there's also a ton of speed bumps and one way streets here,
5:44
which I think makes driving a bit less complicated, but still, right?
5:48
I mean, in the U. S., there is a driving test, and people still drive like asshats.
5:53
I don't know.
5:54
I feel like I should look up some statistics on traffic accidents in Mexico
5:57
City, because it's not every Mexican state that doesn't have a driver's test.
6:02
I think Mexico City might be one of the only states that doesn't
6:04
require a driving test, which again, seems counterintuitive considering
6:08
Mexico City is extremely populous.
6:11
But again, what do I know?
6:12
Maybe there's something else going on that I am not aware of.
6:15
Speaking of driving and cars, I guess, I think I mentioned in another episode.
6:21
About how many vintage Volkswagen Beetles I've seen here.
6:25
Also like the micro buses, too.
6:27
Like the ones you'd see at dead shows.
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They're all over the place.
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And now, I know why.
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Up until, I think, 2012, the official taxis in Mexico
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City were Volkswagen Beetles.
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They called them Vochos, which I imagine were very charming.
6:44
But these are two door cars.
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So drivers would actually remove the front passenger seat to make it easier
6:50
for people to get in and out of them, which meant that there was nothing
6:53
preventing the passenger from flying out the front window if the driver, like,
6:57
suddenly slammed on the brakes or, you know, God forbid, ran into something.
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Apparently, they also became a target for crime because it was really easy to trap
7:06
the passengers in the car because you can't get out unless the person, yeah.
7:12
So, they phased them out, and made a law that all taxis have to have four doors.
7:19
Which seems like a sound decision.
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That said, I do wish I could have seen this city when it was full
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of Volkswagen Beetle taxis instead of generic Ubers everywhere.
7:30
And I imagine there's a driving test for taxi drivers here, right?
7:33
I mean, there has to be for taxi drivers.
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Although I didn't have to take one when I was driving an Uber
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in the States, so maybe not.
7:54
I'm actually considering changing the name of this podcast to
7:57
something a little less opaque.
8:00
Something that actually tells you what you're going to be listening
8:02
to, if you know what I mean.
8:04
And now that I finally have an actual general subject matter for this podcast,
8:09
perhaps it's time to come up with a title that reflects that subject matter.
8:13
Which reminds me, I am sorry to announce that the podcast description
8:18
contest that was started two or three weeks ago has been cancelled.
8:22
I got hundreds of entries, and I appreciate each and every one of them,
8:27
but now the podcast is changing, so the entries are all kind of moot.
8:32
The good news is, there's a brand new contest called Come Up With
8:35
The New Name For This Podcast.
8:38
Pretty self explanatory, really.
8:40
You can email your entries to onefjefpod at gmail.
8:42
com, or leave a voicemail at 1 669 241 5882.
8:48
That's 1 669 241 5882, 1 669 241 5882.
9:01
I just gotta settle on a song for the phone number, and I feel like every
9:05
time I do a different song, but not even songs, there's not really a anyway.
9:10
Call that number, leave a voicemail message with your name ideas, and
9:13
I'll probably play them on the air.
9:15
I will play them on the air, who am I kidding?
9:17
The winner, as determined by me, will get to come on the air and
9:20
announce the new name of the podcast.
9:24
And if you don't want to come on the air, that's fine, but
9:27
realize that that's the prize.
9:29
And I'll probably just have someone come on the podcast and pretend
9:32
to be you, announcing the name.
9:34
So you might as well just come on, is what I'm saying.
9:37
It's a good prize.
9:38
You won it.
9:39
So start entering.
9:41
Don't dally.
9:43
Entries from my Patreon subscribers will get more consideration than
9:47
those from the proletariat, which is why you should go to patreon.
9:51
com slash onefjef and sign up before you enter.
9:55
Even if you're not going to enter, you should still sign up.
9:57
Why?
9:58
Well, because this is an independent podcast made entirely by me, and
10:02
while I do enjoy it, it takes a lot of time and energy to put together.
10:07
And I give it to you for free.
10:08
Ad free.
10:09
Although if anyone's interested in advertising on this podcast, please
10:12
email me at onefjefpod at gmail.
10:14
com.
10:14
Anyway, patreon.
10:15
com slash onefjef.
10:17
For just five dollars a month, or about a hundred pesos a month, you can get
10:21
access to a bunch of extra content, subscriber only episodes, as well as
10:25
early access to some other episodes.
10:28
It'll make you feel special.
10:30
And most of all, you'll be showing your support and love for this
10:33
podcast and helping me pay for the two microphone stands I just had to
10:37
buy here because there wasn't any room in my luggage for my old ones.
10:41
Patreon.
10:41
com slash onefjef and please sign up through the website and not the app
10:44
because Apple takes a surprisingly large cut if you subscribe through the app.
10:49
And if you're still on the fence, I can put you in touch with one of my
10:52
current Patreon subscribers, and they will tell you what a magical, life
10:55
changing experience it has been for them.
10:58
You might cry, actually, but after you finish crying, you'll sign up.
11:02
Patreon.
11:03
com slash onefjef.
11:04
And to my current subscribers, thank you always and again for your
11:08
continued support of the podcast.
11:10
You are loved and appreciated.
11:12
Bien.
11:17
Accidentally ordered a kilogram of tortillas last week.
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It's a long story as to how it happened and I don't really want to get into it
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because it makes me look really dumb.
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But what I learned from that experience, or mistake, or what have you, Is that
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tortillas need to be refrigerated and also that I don't need a kilogram of them.
11:42
The end,
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the word experiment in Spanish means both to experiment and to experience,
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and I find that kind of perfect.
11:57
Also, the word RA means to wait and also to hope, which also oddly perfect.
12:07
I am getting better at Spanish.
12:09
Slowly, but surely.
12:11
Mostly slowly.
12:13
At one of my classes last week, I had a bing moment, and I was
12:18
suddenly, like, translating fairly complicated sentences, which, I can't
12:23
tell you how amazing that feels.
12:24
I mean, if you know, you know.
12:26
But it was like, oh, look, I'm learning things.
12:30
Later that day, however, I was getting a grocery delivery from Uber Eats.
12:35
And I said like, you know, buenos noches to delivery guy.
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And I guess it sounded legit because he started saying a lot of things
12:41
back to me and I was clueless.
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And when the driver realized I was clueless, he looked disappointed.
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I think he was trying to joke around with me, to be honest, but I failed.
12:54
And I decided after that, that one day I'll be able to joke
12:57
back with delivery drivers.
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And on that day, I will feel like I have won.
13:04
No physical prize, more of a mental and emotional prize.
13:08
Living in a country where I don't speak the language has given me a
13:13
profound appreciation for the fact that I grew up in a country where the
13:17
language is the lingua franca, or is it lingua franca, whatever, of the world.
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Means it's like the common language of the world.
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I used a fancy phrase.
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And also a profound appreciation for how difficult it must be for people who
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don't speak English to go to places.
13:38
Someone told me recently that to learn Spanish, or any language for that matter,
13:43
you need to kind of turn off the logic part of your brain and just like speak it.
13:47
Don't overthink it.
13:49
Don't translate it in your head, just speak it.
13:52
Because languages aren't just about using different words, they're about
13:55
different ways of expressing ideas.
13:57
And that's kind of the beauty of it, really.
14:00
Te quiero, for example, means I love you in Spanish.
14:05
But it literally means I want you.
14:07
Or more literally, you I want.
14:10
So a direct translation wouldn't work, right?
14:13
Te quiero.
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It's a beautiful way of saying I love you.
14:17
It comes from, I looked this up, the Latin word for love.
14:21
Queyerere.
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I probably pronounced that wrong, but I don't think there's any Latin
14:26
speakers listening to this podcast that are going to correct me,
14:28
so I'm just going to go with it.
14:31
Queyerere.
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Queyerere.
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Which means to seek or to look for.
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And not only is the phrase te quiero beautiful, but the idea that to
14:41
love someone is to seek them or want them, that's also beautiful.
14:45
You can also say te amo, of course, which means I love you or You, I love,
14:52
but it's a more direct form of love, usually just for romantic partners.
14:58
There's actually a ton of ways to express affection and love in Spanish.
15:03
My favorite is gordito, which literally means little fatty, which would not
15:10
go over well in the United States.
15:12
But in Spanish, it's a term of endearment.
15:15
And I love that.
15:16
And in English, we basically just have I love you, which To me, it reflects a
15:22
profound cultural difference in attitudes about expressing affection, which might be
15:28
part of the reason I like it here so much.
15:30
There's also much more, like, casual politeness here.
15:33
Whenever I walk into a store or restaurant, I'm always greeted
15:36
with, like, buenos dias or buenos tardes, and you're expected to
15:40
say it back, to give warmth back.
15:43
And it's considered kind of rude if you don't, which, again, is
15:45
not the case in the United States.
15:47
I mean, they say, how can I help you, I guess, in a lot of places, but There's
15:51
not often like, oh, good morning.
15:53
Anyway, I've said it once and I'll say it again.
15:56
The vibes are better in Mexico.
15:59
They're better.
16:01
But I digress.
16:06
This morning I went to this yoga class that I've gone to several
16:09
times in Condesa, and the class is good, but then you get out and you
16:15
are walking through Condesa on a Sunday morning, and it is Beautiful.
16:21
There's people everywhere.
16:23
There's dogs everywhere.
16:26
There's life everywhere.
16:29
Mostly in Parque Mexico, which is an amazing park that has meditation areas.
16:34
I mean, what are, maybe I haven't been to Portland for a while, but,
16:38
I don't often see meditation areas in parks in the United States.
16:41
It brings me joy just to like, I'll even have my ear, ear pods in my ear, whatever.
16:45
And I'm listening to music, but I'm just wandering through all the people at cafes
16:50
and the trees and the beautiful weather.
16:53
It's magic, but I will say you should never move here.
16:55
It's terribly dangerous and everything's very expensive and it's horrible.
17:00
So don't move here.
17:03
We were at this restaurant tonight and there was a table of three,
17:06
uh, probably in their twenties.
17:07
From the States, from Phoenix or something.
17:09
And the conversation I often have with people here who have either moved here
17:13
or just visiting is like, I had no idea.
17:16
I had no idea because the media you get from the United States about
17:22
Mexico is almost always violence, scary, bad immigrants, whatever it is.
17:30
And great, keep doing it because the less people, the better.
17:34
But as my.
17:36
Wonderful podcast audience.
17:37
I feel obliged to tell you that this is a surprisingly
17:40
wonderful place that I live in.
17:42
If you've never been here, if you're your impressions of what Mexico and
17:45
Mexico city are like, it is probably a hundred percent or at least 75 percent
17:51
wrong, but don't tell anybody else because we don't need this to get out.
17:55
I mean, it is already getting out, but, and I suppose the podcast might
17:59
add to that, but whatever, who cares?
18:01
Mexico tourism company.
18:03
I'm happy to be an advertiser.
18:06
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to say.
18:08
I feel like I have enough content for an episode here.
18:11
So hopefully you agree with me and to my Patreon subscribers, I
18:16
apologize for not giving this to you early, but it's the beginning of
18:21
a new era for the onefjef podcast.
18:24
And I felt like, you know, this kind of thing requires everybody
18:28
to get it at the same time.
18:30
But this will be a one time thing, probably.
18:33
I'm not promising anything anymore, as I've said.
18:35
So this will likely be a one time thing.
18:38
My intent, I'll say that, is for this to be a one time thing.
18:41
But again, it could happen again.
18:42
In two years, who knows?
18:46
I can't believe I've been doing this podcast for almost a year now.
18:49
Can you believe that?
18:49
47 episodes I've made of this 10, 11 months.
18:55
I mean, plus bonus episodes, so at least 50.
18:58
I'm impressed with myself.
19:00
And that's okay.
19:01
I'm going to feel that impressed with myself and run with it
19:04
because that is absolutely allowed.
19:08
Go me and go you for sticking with me through this journey.
19:14
For sure.
19:15
If you're a listener who is like committed listener day one or
19:19
whatever, listen to all the episodes.
19:20
And I know there's a few of you out there.
19:23
I really appreciate you.
19:24
And I. You help me continue to want to do this.
19:29
So I appreciate all of the, I do get a text occasionally from
19:33
friends who say it's great.
19:34
Yeah, I love it.
19:35
So that makes me really happy because it's hard to have the energy to continue this.
19:41
It takes time and energy, but I have a rejuvenated source of energy now, which
19:48
is the expat thing because I continue to get messages on Facebook and I Saying,
19:54
Oh, I'd love to be on your podcast.
19:55
podcast.
19:57
And I'm going to meet these people.
19:58
One guy invited me to his house and you'll get to hear their stories.
20:01
You'll get to see how they ended up here.
20:03
And believe you me, there's some good ones coming up.
20:06
There's some interesting stories of how people ended up here trying
20:09
to get a woman on who an Irish woman who I met, who was a flight
20:13
attendant for the Saudi Royal family.
20:15
So buckle up, my friends buckle up.
20:21
If I could say buckle up in Spanish, or even try Arriba?
20:26
Buckle arriba?
20:27
Is that?
20:27
I would do it, but I don't know how to say the word buckle.
20:29
Bucle?
20:31
Bucle?
20:31
Buclo?
20:33
I don't know.
20:34
If you know how to say buckle in Spanish, email me at onefjefpod at gmail.
20:38
com.
20:38
You will get a prize.
20:50
It has gotten expensive here.
20:52
Part of my reason for moving here was because it's just
20:54
You know, less expensive.
20:56
I'm not going to lie about that.
20:58
And I think a part of the reason a lot of people move here is because
21:00
it's less expensive, but that influx of people from expensive countries
21:06
is really raising prices here.
21:08
I was looking at apartments in Condesa and they're like, I don't know,
21:13
between 1500 and like 3, 000 a month.
21:16
I'm paying about 1100 here in this place.
21:19
And I think that's a good deal.
21:20
I was told it's a good deal by a Mexican.
21:22
That's Who was on the podcast, Bernardo.
21:25
And that made me feel good because that's great.
21:28
I'm getting a good deal.
21:29
But like, you know, at some point I'd like to move if I continue
21:33
to stay here and live here.
21:34
I would like to find a cheap place as well, but maybe this is just a
21:37
great, maybe this is a great bet.
21:39
It's a good location.
21:40
I would like to be in Condesa.
21:41
I'll be honest.
21:42
I don't love the fact that it feels somewhat Brooklyn y with all the
21:47
English speakers there, but it's just such a beautiful neighborhood.
21:50
You can't really.
21:51
You can't really blame all of them for going there.
21:54
But it does make me think like, you know, a popular neighborhood in Columbus
21:59
where I first moved was the Short North.
22:01
And I was paying 1, 500 a month for my apartment there, which seemed
22:06
like a huge steal at the time.
22:07
It was an elevator building.
22:08
This is in 2018.
22:10
But if a bunch of people from a country that was richer than the United
22:14
States moved there and decided Short North was the most beautiful, awesome
22:18
neighborhood in Columbus Then, and my rent started going up because of them.
22:23
I'd be pissed too.
22:25
So I get it.
22:26
And I don't know what the solution is, aside from just to say, don't come.
22:29
But we're becoming a global world now.
22:32
And this is just going to keep happening more and more.
22:34
Is it exploitation of another country?
22:37
I don't know.
22:38
It's an interesting question.
22:39
It's a complicated question.
22:41
Because while the rents and the prices of things are going up, there's a lot of
22:45
people who have businesses in these areas that are doing very well because of this.
22:50
So, I don't know.
22:52
And there's also the factor of like, they're not building enough apartments,
22:54
like low income housing here in Mexico City, which also does cause
22:59
the prices of properties to raise.
23:00
But there's no denying that all of the gringos coming in and being willing
23:06
to spend a decent amount of money on an apartment in Condesa is going to
23:11
raise the prices across the board.
23:13
So.
23:15
Who knows?
23:16
Not me.
23:18
I'm only a month and a half into this thing, so lord knows what could happen.
23:26
Anyway, yeah, things are going well.
23:29
There's good days and there's bad days.
23:32
It's a bit of a roller coaster, this expat life in Mexico City.
23:37
And that's okay, as long as you know that that's the way it's going to be
23:42
and learn to Just enjoy the ride, right?
23:47
And I am enjoying the ride.
23:49
And slowly but surely, this life is getting less surreal and more real.
23:57
And I wish it would just stay surreal.
23:59
I want to hang on to that surreal nature of the whole thing.
24:04
Because as soon as things start getting real, then time starts to speed up again.
24:08
Nobody wants that.
24:10
Nobody wants that.
24:12
The saying I use quite a bit on this podcast, you can't see the
24:16
label when you're inside the jar.
24:19
I've been thinking about that a lot over the last month and a half,
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seven weeks that I've been here.
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Because to me, that saying is about perspective.
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And I find this important, very important, actually, to maintain
24:32
a sense of perspective here.
24:34
Because I'm doing a hard thing, but I'm also doing an amazing thing.
24:38
And sometimes it's easy to forget about the amazing part
24:41
and focus on the hard part.
24:43
So you need to like get your jar up in front of a mirror of some sort so you
24:48
can read that label and remind yourself that even the hard part is amazing.
24:57
You should follow this podcast on Instagram at onefjefpod.
25:01
You should follow this podcast on Facebook at onefjefpod.
25:04
You should follow this podcast on substack, at onefjef, I believe.
25:09
And thank you, as always, for listening.
25:12
I appreciate you and your ears.
25:14
And I'm going to leave you this week with a quote from Kurt Vonnegut,
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who is, uh, one of my heroes.
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I often say, so it goes, without even realizing that
25:23
it's from Slaughterhouse Five.
25:26
But it is.
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So it goes.
25:30
Be soft.
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Do not let the world make you hard.
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Do not let pain make you hate.
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Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
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Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still
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believe it to be a beautiful place.
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I'll see you next week.
25:48
Very good, Jeffrey.