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People Who Make the Ministry Difficult Msg 1 3 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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  Speaker 1: Always great to be with you, and it's always a
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  Speaker 1: mystery that I have to wrestle through when it comes
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  Speaker 1: to choosing what to talk on, because you've heard everything
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  Speaker 1: from everybody, and so no matter what subject, you've heard
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  Speaker 1: it from someone, and you've heard it, certainly from someone
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  Speaker 1: better than I could say it. But here I am
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  Speaker 1: to give it a try. What I try to do
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  Speaker 1: when I'm here is I say try to because time
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  Speaker 1: alone will tell if that's true. I try to talk
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  Speaker 1: on things that cover two bases. First of all, they
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  Speaker 1: are interesting. If it isn't interesting, it's not your fault,
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  Speaker 1: it's mine. So I like to make it interesting and
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  Speaker 1: keep it interesting. And if it isn't, you're free to
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  Speaker 1: leave if you're bored, Honestly you're If you're bored, don't
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  Speaker 1: go to sleep, leave and go study, you know. But
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  Speaker 1: I want to keep it interesting. Second, I want to
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  Speaker 1: bring things that I never heard when I was at seminary.
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  Speaker 1: The things I share, truly are things that were never addressed.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't that someone deliberately wanted to keep the students
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  Speaker 1: in the dark. It's just they weren't the kind of
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  Speaker 1: things that were talked about back when I was a student.
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  Speaker 1: We got great truth, but we rarely got information that
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  Speaker 1: we could we could pack up and take with us
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  Speaker 1: and use in the practical side of the ministry. That's
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  Speaker 1: what I have in mind, and so my talks are
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  Speaker 1: invariably along the practical side. Plus I'm not that bright,
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  Speaker 1: and so I don't try to get into areas that
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  Speaker 1: make the faculty frown. And when they start frowning, I'm
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  Speaker 1: the guy that wants to leave and study with you.
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  Speaker 1: So I I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do that.
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about things that maybe not even they
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  Speaker 1: have addressed, and no doubt should in light of the
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  Speaker 1: times in which we live. And they are tough times.
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  Speaker 1: They are tough. They're tougher than when I left seminary,
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  Speaker 1: and they were tough then, but they're tougher now. I
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  Speaker 1: have a grandson in law who just got to the
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  Speaker 1: police force in little Texas town south of here. We
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  Speaker 1: had lunch with them along with we had all together
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  Speaker 1: eleven of our family because one of them went through
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  Speaker 1: an adoption recently and we all celebrated. So he came
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  Speaker 1: up from his wife's a student at tex A and
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  Speaker 1: M and so they came up from college station to
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  Speaker 1: be with us. He's on the police force at Brenham.
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  Speaker 1: And I said, you know, it's hard for me to
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  Speaker 1: imagine a drug problem in Brenham, and he laughed out loud.
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  Speaker 1: He looked at me like I was from another planet.
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  Speaker 1: He said, there are drug problems everywhere. In fact, you
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  Speaker 1: can't name a problem that isn't in the little town
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  Speaker 1: of Brenham, which again is an awakening for me at
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  Speaker 1: this age. I should know that, but I sometimes think
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  Speaker 1: some of these little places are sort of sheltered. There
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  Speaker 1: is no sheltered place. You will not go to a
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  Speaker 1: place where you will be free of the tentacles of depravity,
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  Speaker 1: which has a big part to do with what I
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  Speaker 1: want to want to talk about. The living Bible renders
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  Speaker 1: Job fourteen one like this, How frail is man, how
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  Speaker 1: few his days, how full of trouble? The only word
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  Speaker 1: I change is man because it's humanity. How frail are people,
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  Speaker 1: including those who minister. I left feeling strong after I
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  Speaker 1: had finished at the seminary, it wasn't long before I
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  Speaker 1: realized just how weak I am. And though I have
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  Speaker 1: gifts and they are strengths in my life, nevertheless, down
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  Speaker 1: inside me are weaknesses that I will carry with me
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  Speaker 1: to the grave and the same for you. Now, in
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  Speaker 1: light of that, I want to look at two perspectives
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  Speaker 1: of the ministry that are opposites. This semester, I want
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  Speaker 1: to look at the dark side, and I would put
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  Speaker 1: it under the category of what makes the ministry so challenging?
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  Speaker 1: Why is it that I get an email from a
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  Speaker 1: guy just this morning that tells me he's leaving the ministry?
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  Speaker 1: What was it that was so challenging that he couldn't
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  Speaker 1: continue in it? He's one of our grads. And the
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  Speaker 1: next semester, I want to talk about what makes the
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  Speaker 1: ministry so charming or fulfilling to keep a guy like
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  Speaker 1: me in it for over half a century. And I
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  Speaker 1: wake up every morning so motivated and excited about the
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  Speaker 1: opportunity to serve Christ in whatever capacity. And not every
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  Speaker 1: day is that great, but the privilege of serving Christ
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  Speaker 1: is always great. Now, what are the things that cause
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  Speaker 1: ministry to become difficult challenging? Why are times sometimes dark?
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  Speaker 1: And I've limited the answer to three areas. One of
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  Speaker 1: them I want to talk on today. The next one
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  Speaker 1: I want to talk on on the sixth of October,
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  Speaker 1: when I'm back, and then the third on the twenty
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  Speaker 1: eighth of November. What I'm here for the third time
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  Speaker 1: for this semester. The first is the difficult people who
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  Speaker 1: are around us. That's part of the reason ministry is
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  Speaker 1: so challenging. You will encounter difficult people throughout your ministry.
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  Speaker 1: I was never told that it's seminary. I don't know why.
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  Speaker 1: I was a surprise because I had difficult fellow students
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  Speaker 1: to get along with, and I was a difficult one
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  Speaker 1: as well. It stands to reason, but we often don't
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  Speaker 1: think about it. Your time in ministry will be spent
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  Speaker 1: with difficult people, and if you allow it, and if
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  Speaker 1: you don't know how to handle them, they get the
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  Speaker 1: best of you. Then you're among the statistics and you
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  Speaker 1: finally say, just isn't worth it. And you can't go
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  Speaker 1: to some country where they're not present. You can't go
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  Speaker 1: into any work where it isn't true. You can't be
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  Speaker 1: on any faculty where there aren't other difficult faculty members.
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  Speaker 1: You can't go to a school where there aren't difficult students,
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  Speaker 1: and you can't serve in a pastorate where there aren't
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  Speaker 1: difficult members of the church. So that's the subject I
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  Speaker 1: want to address today the difficult people around us. The
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  Speaker 1: second will be in October. I'll talk about the human
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  Speaker 1: tendencies within us that also makes ministry challenging. I put
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  Speaker 1: together a little list an argumentative spirit, narcissism, pride, deceit, envy,
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  Speaker 1: and unsubmissive spirit, the suspicious spirit, hypocrisy, jealousy, envy, lust,
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  Speaker 1: a number of neuroses and psychoses and evil tendencies. Those
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  Speaker 1: are things that go on inside of us, and you
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  Speaker 1: take them with you. If you are impatient now, you
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  Speaker 1: will be impatient in your ministry. If you have an
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  Speaker 1: acrid tongue, you will have an acrid tongue in ministry.
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  Speaker 1: That won't change unless you really go to work on
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  Speaker 1: those techniques that will curb those tendencies. Because you're born,
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  Speaker 1: it goes with the depravity package and you've got that
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  Speaker 1: to deal with. That also makes it and people who
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  Speaker 1: have those tendencies will make life in ministry difficult for you.
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  Speaker 1: We have a saying, if it weren't for people, ministry
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  Speaker 1: would be a breeze, and it's true, but stop to think.
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  Speaker 1: If it weren't for people, we wouldn't have a ministry.
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  Speaker 1: We wouldn't have points of accountability. I wouldn't have a
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  Speaker 1: team of people to work with at our great church
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  Speaker 1: out in Frisco. I wouldn't have close friends. I wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: have folks to listen when I preach or teach. I
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't have a reason to prepare or to home creative
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  Speaker 1: skills that God has given me. It's people that are
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  Speaker 1: so vital to our ministry, and yet they can really
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  Speaker 1: be honre and some of them, as I'm going to mention,
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  Speaker 1: can even be dangerous. So there are the there are
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  Speaker 1: the people, and then there are those tendencies within. As
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  Speaker 1: another third has to do with things that happen to us,
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  Speaker 1: I call them circumstance, unexpected circumstances. You can get your degree,
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  Speaker 1: you can finish well, you can be fairly proficient in
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  Speaker 1: the areas of your gift. But once you have gotten
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  Speaker 1: underway in ministry, things can occur apart from you're being
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  Speaker 1: ready for them. Your spouse can walk out on you
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  Speaker 1: and want to divorce from you. Changes the whole face
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  Speaker 1: of ministry. That was never asked in my years at
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  Speaker 1: Dallas Seminary. You can get a report from your doc
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  Speaker 1: and he says you have less than two years to
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  Speaker 1: live and a circumcise that happens to you. A tragedy
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  Speaker 1: can occur in your city or in your church and
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  Speaker 1: you didn't see it coming, but it makes ministry there difficult.
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  Speaker 1: You can realize as things change around you that you
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  Speaker 1: no longer fit. I've got on my phone in the
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  Speaker 1: car right now a note from a young man that
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  Speaker 1: graduated some fifteen years ago from the school, and he's
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  Speaker 1: just made a decision to leave that particular place where
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  Speaker 1: he's been serving faithfully, and he said, I'm no longer
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  Speaker 1: fit the particular ministry. It has become so that ministry
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  Speaker 1: area has changed. He doesn't fit it. I never once
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  Speaker 1: heard the word fit at the school. I want you
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  Speaker 1: to hear it from others as well as from me.
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  Speaker 1: Fit is a big part of why we are called
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  Speaker 1: to a ministry or why we're able to stay there.
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  Speaker 1: The fit is sometimes Taylor made. I went to New England.
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  Speaker 1: I was there for two years. It's the longest decade
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  Speaker 1: of my life, I'll tell you. And it wasn't New
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  Speaker 1: England's fault. I didn't fit the scene. And you've heard
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  Speaker 1: that story from me before. Others go and that young
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  Speaker 1: man went that I mentored when I was at the seminary.
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  Speaker 1: Loved him. He was from that area. He went back
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  Speaker 1: to that area. His entire years of ministry and recently
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  Speaker 1: retired were spent right there in Connecticut, and he loved it.
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  Speaker 1: And I was always kind of amazed that he but
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  Speaker 1: he he understood that that setting that scene and my
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  Speaker 1: November meeting with you, I'm going to talk about circumstances
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  Speaker 1: that can occur without you're really having a lot to
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  Speaker 1: do with Him, but as a result of them, you
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  Speaker 1: have difficulty serving Christ, even though you did very well
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  Speaker 1: at school. So I want to help prepare you for
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  Speaker 1: for what is what is in front of you. So
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  Speaker 1: let's get into it. Paul is born again in Acts
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  Speaker 1: chapter nine. I want to do a little timeline here
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  Speaker 1: and I'll show you why I when we think about
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  Speaker 1: p Pull and the role of difficult people, Paul is
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  Speaker 1: converted in Acts nine. You know the story on the
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  Speaker 1: Road to Damascus, as best I can fingure, that was
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  Speaker 1: eighty thirty five. So not long after the death and
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  Speaker 1: resurrection and ascension of the Savior, Paul is engaged in
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  Speaker 1: acts of terrorism and torment against believers, and the Lord
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  Speaker 1: says in his sovereign grace. That's enough. I want this
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  Speaker 1: man saw of Tarsus on our team, and he changed it.
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  Speaker 1: He transformed. I'll tell you that is a marvelous story.
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  Speaker 1: And if you think God can't change it an impossible person,
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  Speaker 1: you've forgotten Acts nine. Because he is transformed. That's Act nine.
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  Speaker 1: And it's easy to miss a very important statement that
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  Speaker 1: is said. While Paul is blind waiting for the next
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  Speaker 1: movement on God's part. Now that he's under the sovereign
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  Speaker 1: I and will of God, the Lord said to Annonayus, go.
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  Speaker 1: I just didn't want to go because he knew the
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  Speaker 1: kind of man's Saul of Tarsus had been. That would
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  Speaker 1: be a frightening encounter. And he couldn't He couldn't believe
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  Speaker 1: the man was changed. And the Lord says to him, go,
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  Speaker 1: he's a chosen instrument of mind to bear my name.
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  Speaker 1: I'm reading from Acts chapter nine, verse fifteen. He's to
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  Speaker 1: bear my name before the gentiles and kings and sons
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  Speaker 1: of Israel. Next verse hear it will for I will
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  Speaker 1: show him how much he must suffer for my name's sake.
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  Speaker 1: What an interesting introductory statement. I want you to go.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to minister to him. I want you
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  Speaker 1: to take his hand, help him up. He has no sight,
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  Speaker 1: and I want him to come to realize the things
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  Speaker 1: he will suffer. This is thirty five eighty thirty five roughly.
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  Speaker 1: When I turn ahead to Second Corinthians eleven, I'm moving
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  Speaker 1: to eighty fifty six roughly. Okay, so we've gone ahead
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  Speaker 1: twenty one years. Twenty one years later, Paul reflects on
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  Speaker 1: his life. And you've read the account, and you've sighed
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  Speaker 1: as I have as he lists the things that happen
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  Speaker 1: Verse twenty four or five times I received from the
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  Speaker 1: Jews thirty nine lashes. Easy to jump onto the next
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  Speaker 1: thing in the list. I've never received one lash, nor
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  Speaker 1: have you. Most likely, maybe if you're from another country
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  Speaker 1: where that is done and where torture is still allowed,
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  Speaker 1: maybe you've gone through some of that. We have a
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  Speaker 1: man in our church who's a pow, former pow, and
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  Speaker 1: after seven years in the Hanno Hilton, he, but the
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  Speaker 1: grace of God, was allowed to leave, and his story
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  Speaker 1: we honored it one Veterans Day Sunday, and when I
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  Speaker 1: shook his hand, it was like holding onto a bag
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  Speaker 1: of bones. Every finger had been broken during his pow years.
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  Speaker 1: He could understand words like this. Listen to these words
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  Speaker 1: twenty one years after his conversion. Thirty nine times. Three
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  Speaker 1: times I was beaten with rods, once I was stone,
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  Speaker 1: three times shipwrecked. Night and a day. I've spent in
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  Speaker 1: the deep, a night and a day in the deep.
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  Speaker 1: I've been on frequent journeys in dangers from rivers and
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  Speaker 1: robbers and countrymen and gentiles, in the city and in
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  Speaker 1: the wilderness, and on the sea, and among false brethren.
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  Speaker 1: I've been in labor and hardships, through many sleepless nights,
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  Speaker 1: hunger and thirst, often without food. I'm glad you're quiet
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  Speaker 1: right now. He had been starving. He was in cold
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  Speaker 1: and exposure. One of the books I read this summer
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  Speaker 1: was the story of a man who got out of
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  Speaker 1: a plane crash in the Arctic and spent one hundred days,
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  Speaker 1: where every one of those days were spent below zero.
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  Speaker 1: Story is phenomenal. Apart from such external things, there's the
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  Speaker 1: daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches
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  Speaker 1: woven into the fabric of that painful section or people. People.
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  Speaker 1: He was hounded from the very beginning of his conversion
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  Speaker 1: to his beheading in two Timothy one, chapter four, and
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  Speaker 1: I turned there, and if I figure correctly, that's about
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  Speaker 1: eighty sixty seven thirty five sixty seven over thirty years.
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  Speaker 1: This great Man of God suffered the hands of brutal,
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  Speaker 1: evil people. I must show him how much he must suffer.
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  Speaker 1: Paul reflects on it in Second Corinthin's eleven. He writes
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  Speaker 1: about our times in two Timothy three, in the last days,
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  Speaker 1: that's now difficult times. I often read it have come,
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  Speaker 1: and the list is all about people. Listen to those
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  Speaker 1: to whom you will minister. They will be lovers of self,
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  Speaker 1: lovers of money. They will be boastful, arrogant, revilers. They
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  Speaker 1: will disobey their parents. They will be ungrateful. They will
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  Speaker 1: be unholy, they will be unloving. They will be irreconcilable.
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  Speaker 1: They will be malicious gossips. They will be without self control.
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  Speaker 1: Some will be brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited,
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  Speaker 1: lovers of pleasure, more than lovers of God, holding to
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  Speaker 1: a form of God. It is, and so on. You know,
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  Speaker 1: you know the passage almost by heart. I know that,
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  Speaker 1: But you've not ministered to them yet. That's a whole
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  Speaker 1: nother ballgame when those you serve turn on you. Now
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  Speaker 1: coast won't let me make it clear, this is not
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  Speaker 1: haranguing that everybody we work with is a loser and
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  Speaker 1: everybody's against us, and that all people are deliberately wicked
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  Speaker 1: and harsh hard to deal with. I don't know any
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  Speaker 1: work that will allow you to be with some of
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  Speaker 1: the greatest people on the planet, like the ministry. To
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  Speaker 1: use the words of Hebrews, there are people of whom
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  Speaker 1: the world isn't worthy. When I think back over a
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  Speaker 1: circle of friends that I've gathered through the years, I'll
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  Speaker 1: tell you I I get thanks for them rather regularly.
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  Speaker 1: They have helped me in ways that I can hardly
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  Speaker 1: describe now. I took time yesterday morning, just had my
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  Speaker 1: Bible open, and I began to make a list of
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  Speaker 1: difficult people. You'll be happy to know you were not
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  Speaker 1: on the list. No, this is from the Bible. So
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  Speaker 1: hang on, Abel had chained his brother who murdered him.
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  Speaker 1: Start there, Abraham had a Lot who never got it right,
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  Speaker 1: just a pain in the butt from the start to
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  Speaker 1: the end. Dealing with Lot was a dram and this godly,
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  Speaker 1: great hearted Abraham did his best with Lot, who wound
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  Speaker 1: up choosing sodom and loving the lifestyle. Esau had his
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  Speaker 1: twin brother Jacob, who chiseled him out of his birthright.
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  Speaker 1: Joseph had all of his brothers who turned on him
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  Speaker 1: and abandoned him. Moses had Pharaoh, who made his life miserable,
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  Speaker 1: and Aaron who built the Golden Calf, and all those
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  Speaker 1: Hebrews who complained from start to finish. After the Exodus,
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  Speaker 1: Joshua had Akin, who secretly hid his sin caused calamity defeat.
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  Speaker 1: David had Saul, insanely jealous of him, tried to kill
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  Speaker 1: him more than once had Absalom, his son, who turned
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  Speaker 1: on him and rebelled. David wasn't that great a father,
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  Speaker 1: by the way, and he had Amnon, who raped Absalom's
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  Speaker 1: sister Yes Tamar, and David never really dealt with. He
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  Speaker 1: had Shimmy I, who cursed him and threw stones at
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  Speaker 1: him when he was down. By the way. In David's life,
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  Speaker 1: there was Abigail who had a husband nobody wanted to
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  Speaker 1: be around named Neeball, who was an absolute fool, and
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  Speaker 1: he owed her his life. And there's Joseiah who had
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  Speaker 1: a wife that he was commanded to remarry and she
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  Speaker 1: couldn't stay faithful. Jose's a godly guy with an ungodly wife.
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  Speaker 1: Job had his so called counselors, Elijah had Ahab and Jezebel,
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  Speaker 1: Bonnie and Clyde of the Old Testament. They hated him,
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  Speaker 1: they threatened him. Neemah had San Balatoba and Gaisham. Remember
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  Speaker 1: Esther had Haven, who conspired against the Jews and hoped
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  Speaker 1: to annihilate all of them. Daniel had his commissioners who
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  Speaker 1: were jealous of him and suspicious. That's just the Old Testament.
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  Speaker 1: Jesus lived his life with enemies, born with Herod the
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  Speaker 1: Great on the throne, difficult people like scribes and pharisees.
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  Speaker 1: I was on that Sunday morning on Matthew twenty three. Boy,
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  Speaker 1: I'll get your attention. I mean, Jesus as strong as
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  Speaker 1: goat's breath. He comes on in that twenty third chapter
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  Speaker 1: like seven times he goes, woe to you, woe to you,
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  Speaker 1: woe to you, woe to you, to the very people
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  Speaker 1: who had attacked him and made his life miserable, And
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  Speaker 1: he didn't even flinch. They despised him. Yeah, Judas who
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  Speaker 1: betrayed him. John the baptizer had herod Antipas, who married
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  Speaker 1: that Yo Yo Herodius, and while he was drunk and
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  Speaker 1: her daughter did a dance, he had John beheaded Stephen
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  Speaker 1: at Caiaphas, Peter and John the Sanhedrin, Saul of Tarsus.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: That whole list of people, including Alexander the copper Smith,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: who did him much harm, and he told Timothy, don't
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: have anything to do with him. Listen to me. I'm
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: not taking your time just to go over a list.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you this is real. You're gonna deal with
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: people who despise you, who disrespect you, who doubt you,
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: who work against you, who conspire, those who will be
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: envious of your success, and those who will shove you
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: down when you fail. They are not the majority, but
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: you will feel at times they are because they are
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: so vicious. Paul gets to the end of his life
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: and he writes to Timothy, come before winter, longing. Even
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: though he had been through all of that, he longed
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: for Timothy's presence. He remembered Divas remember Demus. Interesting story,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of mystery about him, Alexandre who did
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: him much harm, and then he aims others at the
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: very end of his life. He's naming people, people. People.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: You can't minister without people. But all of this to say,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: listen to me. You need to be wise, not gullible,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: not all who flatter you, and Brad go on. You
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: have your good at heart, and there will some There
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: will be some who see you as an easy take
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: because you're young, and they'll take advantage, and you'll need
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: the grace of God to stand against them. Some of
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: them you'll have to discipline. You just won't be able
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: to overlook. Many of them you will. You'll choose wrong
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: elders and deacons. They'll make your life miserable, and they'll
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: virtually ruin the church you're trying to build because they
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: weren't qualified, and you realize too late that they have
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: no business being in that position. Are you hearing me?
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Are you realizing that's the world you're stepping into with
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: your great training, And I don't know of a police
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: that trains them better. This is not any kind of
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: put down on this place. I would say it if
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I were standing in some other seminary today. It can't
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: the school can't do everything. Some of it is just
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: stuff about life. You have to get somebody like me
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: to show up and mention these things. So I want
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: to close with ten major lessons I've learned through the years. Okay,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: no extra charge for these ten in no particular order.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I could develop each one and it would take too long.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I will go a little longer on some than others.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Number one, be extremely cautious regarding those who endorse to
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: fill leadership rules. Be very careful. Never choose anyone in
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: a hurry or based only on personality or wealth, or
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: influence or several people's recommendation. Be very careful. Just being
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: faithful in attendance and fun to be around does not
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: mean they're qualified to serve as an elder. Look at
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: those qualities in one Timothy three. Read them over and
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: over and over. Do your very best to be able
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: to use that checklist. As you select some, you want
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: to have fewer that are better than many who are poor.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Be careful. Number two. I've learned over these many years
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: it's easier to find purity than confidentiality. Most people cannot
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: keep their mouths shut, So you want to have folks
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: around you who are going to be in trustworthy positions,
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: who know how to keep confidences. You'll learn the hard way.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Little by little they will emerge. Pay attention to that
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: matter of confidentiality. Number three. This is an interesting one.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Watch out for those who play a significant role in
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: your being called to a particular place of ministry. Watch
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: out for those who play a significant role in your
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: being called to a place of ministry. They will often
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: be the ones who turn on you later. I don't
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: know why. It's an interesting syndrome. That's a story I
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: could get into several times. When candidating, Listen to many,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: not a few. Visit homes. Listen to the people that
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: have been in the church a long time, those who
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: don't need your friendship, and those who aren't pandering for
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: that ask hard questions. Number four. Keep your distance from
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: the opposite sex. Do not spend time alone with someone
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: from the opposite sex. Don't go in your car alone
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: with her or with him who is alone. Don't go
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: to dinner with them. Don't sit on their bed at
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: the hospital. Don't write them little notes. Keep your distance.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: If counseling is necessary, have someone of that sex with
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: you when you're talking with him, and leave your door ajar.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Remember the four perils I've told you about before. Silver
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: sloth self and sex. They're often one of the reasons
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: or a major reason for a downfall in ministry. Silver sloth,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: self and sex don't hold her hands. I had a
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: lady in a former church that wanted to always hug
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: me and kiss me brother top of everything else. She
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: had bad breath and talk about desperate. I had one
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: that would write me love notes more. When the staff
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: found out about that, they gave me fits. She left
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: me little gifts in the pulpit, and on and on.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Finally I told our security find a way to remove her.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Now that sounds terrible, like I but she's a hintman
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: or something. He could have been, But I said no.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Just so we saw her in line. She was gonna
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: come by and fawn all over. And he said, you
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: see that door over there says exit, and she said, yes,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I do. He said that's the door you want to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: walk through right now, because if you don't, I will
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: arrest you. It was a threat. He wouldn't have, but
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: she thought he would, so it kind of took care
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: of her. She wasn't around. I take to that. You say, well,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: that's kind of rude. It's not nearly as bad as
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: allowing things that are inappropriate. Don't tell me you won't fall.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: Don't tell me that will never happen to you or
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: your mate. You don't know what you're talking about. You're
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: in the majority here. There you'll be all alone, and
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: the enemy knows just the right setup. Stay away from
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: a close relationship with the opposite sex. You've got your
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: hands full of dealing with those of the same sex.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: By the way, if you're a preacher, you probably are
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: not a counselor. It's awfully good to have the those
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: who counsel well and let them help you with that.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: I have a man who stands down front with me,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: and I point to him when someone asks for help,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: and I will say, see that gentleman right there. He's
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: a person I would go to if I had a
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: need in my own family. That's the man I would
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: talk to. And it's wonderful to have him right there,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and he helps me with those situations. So far, for
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: the grace of God, I've never been in a situation
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: that has been questionable. By the grace of God. Number five,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: no matter how much you needed, don't take money from anybody.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Don't handle the money, don't count the money, don't transfer monies.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: Don't accept money and do not borrow money. It is
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: filthy lucre. If you're up against it, that's why you
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: have elders and your integrity will help you when you
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: say to them, I am really strapped and let me
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: explain why and I need help. Maybe the church can help,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: maybe not. But don't do any of it secretly behind
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: the scenes. It'll bite you. People want to give me
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: money and I immediately hand it to an usher ask
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: him to put it wherever they counted. I don't know
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: where they count our money. I don't know where our
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: safe is. And just recently I found out about the
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: process we go through, and I've been I started the
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: church over eighteen years ago and I just found out
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: the process. It's a very careful process. And our staff,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: our pastors never touch the money. You get the reports.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: I I hope you hear me here. It just doesn't
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: look good when folks see you taking money. Even if
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: a person says make sure this gets to Houston and
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: helps him in their need. If it's an exit offering,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: tell them to put it in the plate in the
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: exit offering. You don't handle money. It's a good time
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: for me to add one other side of this I
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: didn't write down, but I'm gonna say it. Be careful
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: about taking money for things you do for folks. Years
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: and years ago, I decided I should never take a
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: dime for doing a funeral. It's just a personal conviction.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: And I've turned back thousand dollar checks. I've given back
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: two one hundred dollars bills that came in the mail.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I have spoken with people who begged me to use
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it for something. I'll say no. If you want to
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: do that, do it through the church. But I don't
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: take money. I love the one that you lost. I
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: didn't do it for a fee. And you want to
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: give thought to that regarding weddings as well, but some
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: of that's up to you. Number six. Some people are
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: not just difficult, I said earlier, they're dangerous. I've been
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: threatened several times in my ministry. When I was in California,
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: I got a note that came still makes me kind
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: of tremble to think about it from an individual. He
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: said he was going to rape my wife and my
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: two older teenage daughters. Showed it two lapd they checked
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: it and they said it's authentic. You have an alarm
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: system I don't get one. You have security here, well,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: not much. Beef it up. This is real. More recently,
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: very recently, until yesterday when they arrested him, we were
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: threatened at Insight for Living by a man who listened
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: to our broadcast. He said, you told me if I
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: gave money to the ministry, all my problems would go away.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I gave money, and my problems did not go away.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I would never say that that was a lie. But
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: he's deranged, and he said, as a result, I'm going
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: to kill you and your wife and everyone in that
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: blankety blank building called Insight for Living. That was in August.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: He resurfaced in September and just yesterday was arrested for felony.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Where they got him. He's behind bars and we will
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: press charges. He's deranged. Hopefully he gets the help that
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: he needs. This is real, folks. You are the target
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: of those who will do you harm. I'll stop there.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: If Paul had an Alexander and John and diantrophies, don't
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: be surprised. Here's another one. When you are targeted by
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: the enemy, some do not have your good at heart.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: They want to bring you down. They want to bring
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: down your ministry. On a little different note Number eight.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: When hiring or releasing someone from your ministry, do not
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: manipulate the process. Here's what I mean. Talk no one
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: into joining the team, talk no one out of leaving.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I've done both. I've regretted it every time. Every time
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: I've just been convinced so and so should join up,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I've been equally convinced SO and so should not leave.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: And I've applied pressure and my style of salesmanship, and
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I talked him into it. Do I regret that if
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: someone needs to leave, release them. Quit dragging your feet,
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: Quit feeling sorry. If they need to leave the ministry,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: they're hurting the ministry. It's not good for them, and
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: it isn't good for the ministry you're a part of.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Release them. Be fair with them, even generous if that's appropriate.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: By that, I mean with your severance, but holding on
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: to them thinking it'll work when it hasn't worked for
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: X number of you. You're dreaming. And by the way,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: when you stay out of it, the Lord is a
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: wonderful way of leading them. And you look back and
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: you go, boy, that was great, How God did that?
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Two more and you're very patient to sit through this
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: list Number nine. When you're led to leave a place
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: of ministry, you do not expect everyone to understand and
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: affirm your decision. Those transition times can include some major
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: surprises and real disappointments. People don't quite know what to
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: do when you leave, and funny things happen. I just
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: call it funny things, though it isn't funny. It's strange,
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: and you'll see a side of them you never saw before.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Some who were very close to you will distance themselves
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: from you. Those who once affirmed you over the years
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: will blame you for something you're not responsible for. You
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: just are following the Lord's leading and leaving. By the way,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: don't spend forever leaving you know what I mean, get out.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: I don't mean you announcingly leave that night, but a
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: month there is plenty of time. Three months is far
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: too long. I gave it church three months one time,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: and it was three of the longest months. Felt like
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: quacking at the end of that third month. I was
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: such a lame duck during that time. So move on,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Move on. Number ten. If you're married, your relationship with
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: your partner your spouse is the single most important relationship
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: in your life. Aside from Jesus. So we'll leave Jesus
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: out of the picture for a moment. You know what
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: I'm saying when I say that no other person should
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: know all the things you shared with her or with him.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: Your spouse's opinion regarding big decisions is more important than
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: anyone else's opinion. Listen to them. They are rarely wrong,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: aggravating sometime how right they are. I've said to Cynthia,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: it's amazing how your voice and the voice of the
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Holy Spirit kind of sound alike. A Ta. You have
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: no higher priority than the cultivation of your marital relationship
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: your last breath. No one should grieve more greatly than
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: your partner in the calling that you've sensed to a
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: place of ministry. If your spouse has no peace, don't go.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: The old story was you go and they'll find a
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: way to like it. I've dealt with a lot of
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: those who never found a way to like it, and
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: they made their lives and their husband and our wife's
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: life and families lack miserable. As I look back over
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: the years of ministry, my greatest delights on my greatest
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: heartaches have been related to people. Remember, I added both
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm not here to turn you against anyone. I'm
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: here to help hone the edge of your discernment because
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I want you to succeed. I want you to get
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: into and enjoy as best you can a life of
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: ministry in a depraved world, so that you can look
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: back over the years and say, God was really good
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: to give me such close, dear friends and to help
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: me through such difficult times. Well, we've spent our time
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: thinking about difficult times because of difficult people. But this
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: is a good moment for us to turn the corner
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: and turn to the one who makes life meaningful and
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: victorious for us, regardless of our circumstances, and that would
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: be the living God whom we serve. Let me lead
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: us in prayer. Will you bow as we turn to him,
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Our heavenly Father. We now come before you as willing
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: servants who have been called to shepherd your flock with
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: humility and with integrity. People are often difficult to deal with,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: but you are the one who gives us hope, and
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: you lift up the weak hands and broken hearts, and
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: you're a to help us, even those who have faced
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: difficult individuals and have done their best to pull us
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: away from your will. We realize Lord that you are
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: the one who can lead us in victory, and we
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: count on you for that. As leaders of the church,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: we ask for divine eyesight to see people as you
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: see them. So give us hearts of compassion, the same
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: compassion that moved your son Jesus to freely give himself
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: on our behalf. Give us discernment as well, discernment to
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: perceive the true motives in others. And then along with
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: that we need your wisdom to manage difficult people with
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: both gentle grace and at the same time firm truth.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: Bless our ministries, Father, and guard us from the evil
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: one who prowls like a roary lion, seeking to devour
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: and destroy, but who, because of Christ's death and resurrection,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: is really a powerless and defeated foe. Thank you for
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: the victory we claim in Jesus Christ, your son, and
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: it's in that name we pray with confidence. Amen.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: The preceding message, people who make the Ministry Difficult was
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: copyrighted in twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen, and the sound
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: recording was copyrighted in twenty eighteen.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: By Charles R.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: Swindell, inc All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.