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Study Hall: A Black Woman's Guide to Navigating a Career, Relationships, and Self-Discovery · Earn Your Leisure

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy nom the United States
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: never return. But if you register using our CBP home
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: border and families will be protected.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Let's talk about the book.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: The book.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: So you published a book What Mommy Never Told You? So?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: What's the meaning behind that title and what's inside the book? Yeah?
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: So this book took twelve years to write, I wrote.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: I finished it maybe three and a half years ago,
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: but it took twelve years to write because I, for
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: a very long time felt like my story hadn't arct
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: so I didn't have that moment where it was like, oh,
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: things got tough, and then she wrote off in the sunset,
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: here's a book to talk about it, right, And so
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: I thought that's what I needed in order to create
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: this body of work. But what I realized is people
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: have constantly sat down to have this conversation that we're
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: having right now, like what did you How did you
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: go from East New York Brooklyn to working and doing
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: some of the things that you've done and worked in
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: And I was constantly telling the story and I said,
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: you know what, I need to put pen to paper
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: and manuscript my journey. But one of the things that
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: came out of it, and why I titled it the
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: way that I did, is I realized that I'm first
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: generation for so many things in my life. I was
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: the first to graduate from college in my family. I
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: was the first to go to Europe in my family.
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: I was the first to buy a home in my family.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: And what I was realizing is there's some things that
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: my parents just they cannot teach me. You know, as
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: a woman of color, I'm coming from a space of
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: I won't say lack, but I had I had a
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: late start, just coming from East New York and where
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: I've come from, we weren't and we didn't inherit the
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: knowledge that some of our contemporaries and counterparts perhaps are
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: getting from their families and their grandfathers and their you know,
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: those those sorts of experiences. And while my mother did
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: teach me a ton, there were just a lot of
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: lessons that I had to learn on my own. And
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: this book takes you through the manuscript of my life
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: and the lessons that I learned along the way. So
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: each chapter has at the end the Pittman's Rules, and
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: they're like the ten to twenty things that I've learned
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: about that specific topic, and it's everything from career and finance,
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: to relationships, to self motivation.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: To like one of the thing, give us one example
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: of what's in the book that you've learned.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: Well, I have something that your mother never told you.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: Some of the things that my mother never told me.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, there are tons of examples, but really understanding
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: that you know, as a woman, it's important to have
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: male mentorship as much as it is to have female mentorship.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: I always I was raised by really strong women and
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: I have a huge girl network. But when I moved
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: into my career, most of my mentors have been men.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: So people like Keith Kling Scales, as I mentioned, Steve
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: Stout early on in my career, was an amazing mentor
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: that genuinely just wanted to pour into my professional talent,
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: help me grow as a professional. Sean Combe's amazing mentor,
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: you know, and not being unafraid to develop professional relationships
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: with men is important for women as they continue to
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: move through business.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: What's your advice for women navigating male dominated industry? Which
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: almost every industry is male dominated. There's difficulties that come
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: with is you have to think about certain things that
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: men don't have to think about. How to dress right,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: they're important, how to carry yourself in certain environments. I
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: had this conversation with a female, like, somebody invites you
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: to dinner, it's awkward, right, It could be out to
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: drinks can be awkward. What you wear it could be awkward, flirting.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: A variety of different things that you have to kind
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: of navigate through the workplace that there's really no set
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: template or blueprint for it. And like I said, men
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: don't have to worry about that, but women do. And
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: it's like you're probably just one woman or two women
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: and there's ten men. Right, So that's something that people
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: don't really consider, but it's an issue. I've seen it absolutely.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: So what's your advice for that?
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: That is a great question.
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: There's a there's a nuance to the level set that
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: young women need to learn how to initiate very early on.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: I think men do.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: It sometimes when when men sort of outfit in the
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: room and you set your position in a room full
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: of men.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: You guys know what I'm talking about.
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: You come into a room with ten dudes, You're going
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: to posture in a certain way so that your ranking
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: is governed accordingly, according right.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: Right, So the same thing. And I know this from
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: being trained by men.
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: Right. I was blessed to be trained by men throughout
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: my career. And so there's a way of being as
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: a woman to position yourself as a person of power,
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: a person of respect, no nonsense, but still approachable. And
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: that has worked for me up unto a point until
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: I got to a sort of apex point in my career.
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: Being very dominant in that way was powerful, but at
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: a certain point it worked against me and I had
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: to start seeking out female mentorship at the executive level
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: because I had to bring back the softness.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: Because it was almost like I was competing with the men.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, exterior was too rough.
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: It's too rough, and so I had to come into
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: this balance of oh no, no, no, you see me.
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: You see I'm grounded. You respect me. But this is
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: not an alpha contest.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, see the alpha thing, don't. I don't agree with
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: the alpha thing. I've never I don't like to consider
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: myself an alpha male. I'm just a male.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: So I think there's two ways that I've witnessed, like
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: people at the highest level conduct themselves. One in that
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: manner which is like very loud and kind of obnoxious.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: But you know that this person is level of stature
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: because it's like a mob boss, right, like Johnny Gotty.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Like it's like when he walks in the room, like
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: everybody kind of like fears on more has some level
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: of respect for him. So they could be extremely loud
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: or you could be extremely quiet. Yeah, like this guy Jay.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: But he's still incredibly alpha.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm just saying, but just his demeanor, yea,
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: even more of an introvert quiet. I see that a
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: lot with I see that actually more often, especially like
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: the higher higher like billionaires like them. They're usually very
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: secluded and nonchalant, garden quiet.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: But let's make a distinction though, because that doesn't so
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: there's a few things around alpha. I literally mean in
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: the canine sense of alpha, right, So from an animalistic standpoint,
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: when a pack of dogs come together, there's a ranking
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: order that naturally happens, right, So I didn't mean it
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: in the.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Alpha I mean, And it's like.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: But then also, alphas are usually not loud in real life.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: But I think that term alpha is just confusing because
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: it's like I think, like, if that's really like I
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: love Dan, he's actually a personal friend of mine, that's
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: his personality, but his way of being I think people
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: try to emulate that, like you know what I mean,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: like and they try to like be loud and stern
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: and da da da. And I don't necessarily think that's
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: a that's the most beneficial way to communicate with people, absolutely,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: but I see a lot of people that they think
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: that that way of acting on that way of communicating,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: asserts themselves as the alpha and asserts themselves as the head.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: But I think that that's not so. I don't know.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I just feel like the term.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Alpha loudness does not equal power.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: So what does alpha equate.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: To alpha is?
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: It's an anchoring, it's a it's a knowing, it's an
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: assuredness in your power to affect a situation.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: That's what alpha is. It's not necessarily how loud you are.
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: It's our ability to influence at the highest level and
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: make the decision that people are going to adhere to.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: And you don't have to do that with words.
• 9:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah, a lot of nonverbal communication.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: Tons of nonverbal communication. Like I just as a woman, like,
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: I'm not looking at the loudest guy in the room.
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: I want I want to see the guy that's like,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: you know, laid back and calm and poised and hasn't
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: put together and he's the one, not this one over here, Joe.
• 9:29
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• 9:31
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• 9:35
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• 9:42
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• 9:45
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• 9:54
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• 9:59
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• 10:02
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• 10:08
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• 10:15
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• 10:38
  Speaker 6: This episode is brought to you by P and C Bank.
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: A lot of people think podcasts about work are boring,
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  Speaker 6: Bank National Association Member FDIC.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas. Man of Venezuelan charged with
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy nom the United States
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: are here illegally, your next you will be fined nearly
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned, and deported. You will
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: never return. But if you register using our CBP home
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: app and leave now. You could be allowed to return
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: legally do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump, America's laws,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: border and families.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Will be protected sponsored by the United States Department of
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Homeland Security TOP And.
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: You brought up the word apex of your career, height
• 12:29
  Speaker 6: of your career. When I hear you speak, I can
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: feel your energy. I feel like you're still in it.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: So I'm questioning, how are you seeing where you're at presently?
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: Are you where you want to be? There's some more
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: things that you need to check out because I feel
• 12:45
  Speaker 6: like the apex hasn't hit yet.
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: I agree it hasn't, but I am ascending, right, and
• 12:50
  Speaker 5: so I like to believe you know, you hit that
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: that peak, and you try to ride that peak as
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: long as you can and maybe in my plateau a
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: little bit, and then you hope to hit another peak.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: So that's how I think about apex.
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: And I do think though, that there is a stage
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: in your career. There are stages in your finances right
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: where you've arrived, and then how do you elevate and
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: take it to the next level? Right, so you can
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: become a millionaire. That's great, but then you can become
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: one hundred millionaire and that's really great. Then you could
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: become a billionaire and now like that's something else. Right,
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: So those are all APEX moments within our lives. And
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: so when I say I hit that apex peak, it's
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: like if I'm in a c suite conversation, that's a
• 13:34
  Speaker 5: different conversation than being a manager or a director, and
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: how people receive us differently.
• 13:39
  Speaker 6: So when you're saying apex, you can have a.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Few of them.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: A few of them, I hope too, and I hope
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: you guys do as well.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: So you said something about relationships. I'm interested to hear
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: this because I used to be a financial advisor. Before
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: I did this. When I was a financial advisor, seventy
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: percent of my clients were women, Black women. And I
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: learned something that there's a lot of black women that
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: make a lot of money, like five thousand, four hundred
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars a year. They're like corporate diversity officers that
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: may SE's and different things in the nature. And then
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: in their mid thirties and they're single and they've never
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: had children. And I noticed that. I started to see
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: a pattern, and I started to realize that this is
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: my philosophy. There wasn't an equal counterpart a lot right,
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: because it's like their counterpart, their age wasn't making as
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: much money, wasn't at that level of corporate. It might
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: have been a good dude, but he's you know, it's
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: a delivery man, right or the person that is at
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: that level, it is it ready going. It's a righty
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: taken he's already married and has children. So from a
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: relationship standpoint, I started to see that it was difficult
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: for I'm.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: So sorry because sorry, my alarm go ahead.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: So relationship standpoint, I started to see that it was
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: difficult a lot of times for black women that was
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: rising up that corporate ladder to get into a relationship
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: or to So I don't know what your segment in
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: the book about relationships is, but have you seen that
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: and what's your thoughts on that.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: I absolutely have seen that. But I think that there's
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: so nuanced. So there's a couple of things that go
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: into that. I think top line looking at it, Yes,
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: there's not an equal counterpart at every step for a
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: lot of these women at a certain age.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Because men can go down to right like men, you
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: can be forty years old and date the twenty eight
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: year old and nobody says anything. That's another thing that
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: kind of it's hard for a forty year old woman
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: to find the twenty eight year old man.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: That she wants to be with, right that because women
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: like to be able to learn from their men and
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: have leadership within their relationship. Traditionally, not all women and
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: so oftentimes men that are younger don't necessarily we have
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: those experiences. Some women do, and they do well in
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: that space, but not not most. But I think it's
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: it's a combination of things. I think it's and you know,
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: so many people with me. For instance, I'm single, I
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: don't have children, and people ask me like what happened?
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: And I'm a heterosexual woman, right, and so it's like, well,
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: a couple of things happened, you know. I think first
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: and foremost, I always say I spent too much time
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: on the wrong relationships.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: That is, I tell any young woman, get in and
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: get out. That's what JA get out.
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: If it works great, if it doesn't move on as
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: quickly as possible, right, learn a lesson, forgive and move on.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: So I didn't necessarily do that as often as perhaps
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: I should have. But I also think, you know, being
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: creating a space to date and explore. Women that are
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: are driven in their careers tend to forget about how
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: intentional you need to be about I'm.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Glad you said that they don't have time.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: You don't have time. They don't make time.
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: They don't make the time.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: It don't make the time.
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: They it don't make it because it gets exhausting right
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: when you're when you're constantly coming up against the men
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: that may not be equally yoked.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: There's a list of priorities.
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: Is that how we do we're prioritizing these things like
• 17:20
  Speaker 6: this is more important than this at this present time.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: I had a friend that said to me, very very
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: very good friend. She said, you need to approach getting
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: married like finding your dream job the same way and
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: the same way you would go and find interviews and
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: have conversations. You need to find friends that have single friends.
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: You need to be in spaces where there are single
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: men because of the type of man that you want
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: to marry is very unique, so you're not going to
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: just bump into him at a supermarket. You've got to
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: be intentional. And I thought it was brilliant when she
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: said it. To me way too late, but she, you know,
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: obviously expressed it. I think the same thing happens in
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: some of the situations that you mentioned.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Going back to my financial advisor days, Remember this guy
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: was telling me, he told his daughter that, and he
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: was like, what are you doing to find a husband?
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: You can't just wing it. You got to actually treat
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: this thing like you are, like you said, like you're
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: trying to get a job, like you got to actually
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: have a set, planned, blueprint events that I'm going to
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: go to everything.
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: Well, because the places you're going to run into are
• 18:21
  Speaker 6: so limited at this point. This is the days where
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: I'm going to go to the library, or i might
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: go to the theater and I'm going to the art
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: gallery like it's like I'm in the club.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Is this why we potentially see a lot of interracial
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: couples at higher like the vice president different things to
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: that nation.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: I think so.
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: I think so, you know, people tend to date within
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: their industry or dat and what they're most familiar with
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: and around, and you know, unfortunately, I think that is
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: the case.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: And I think that there's a I'm gonna say something
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: a little contra controversial.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: But I think that fundamentally, Black youth is not as
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: conditioned to marry automatically the way some other cultures are. Right,
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: that's other cultures effect.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: Right, they know they have to get married.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: They don't really have a choice.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: There's no choice. You're going to get married.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: It may not be today, fact it's going to be arranged,
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: or it's going to be arranged for you, and it
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: may not be today, it may not be in five years,
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: but you're going to get married. They also know to
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: be successful, particularly the men in those those culture cultures.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: Thank you know that having a wife represents something way broader.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: It represents responsibility, it represents anchoring. Like you think about
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: have we ever had a single president. We've had a
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: widowed president, but we've never had a single president ever. Right,
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: So there's there's little things that.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Go into societal norms.
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: Societal norms around being married that don't necessarily exist automatically
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: within our culture. So our young people don't know that
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: we have to get married then, not that we have to,
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: but that it would be beneficial for us to partner
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: up and do some stuff together in that way. Yeah,
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: I agree, So there's a t we're at a disadvantage
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: initially with the with the mindset, but then we're so
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: busy trying to do it by ourselves we forget to
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: reconnect with each other and do it together and find
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: someone to do it together with.
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: So and while we're thinking about that at the time,
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: it's passing every day every.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: Day, and you're more set in your ways and your
• 20:31
  Speaker 5: your requirements get a little more intricate, and you.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Get more comfortable being by yourself, yes, which makes it
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: harder for you to be a relationship.
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: And then there's always helpsial media that can comfort you
• 20:40
  Speaker 6: when you're by yourself.
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: Four things Tender, Oh God, swipe less.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from Al Salvador
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christy Noman, the United States
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: are here illegally, your next you will be fine nearly
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: one thousand dollars a day, imprisoned and deported, you will
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: never return. But if you register using our CBP home
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Do what's right.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Leave now.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Under President Trump America's laws, border and families will be protected.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,