Latest / Shattered Not Broken / Making Room for Joy This Holiday Season
Transcript
- Dawn McClara: Welcome back to Shattered Not Broken. I'm your host, Dawn McLaren. I looked at my calendar today and realized we're at the end of October. This year has just flown by, and October has been jam-packed full of family. A trip to Gatenburg with a girlfriend in catching up with my aunt and uncle who were also in Gatlinburg at the same time, work, teaching, real estate pre-licensing, and all the things I do. Then I realized not only has the year flown by, but so has this month. Which means the holidays are just around the corner. As we head into the holidays, I've been thinking about what it really means to live your best life. Because that phrase gets tossed around a lot, doesn't it? And sometimes it sounds like we're supposed to be on a fabulous vacation looking amazing with everything in our lives figured out perfectly. But I think living your best life can look a whole lot more ordinary and feel a whole lot more meaningful. I've had conversations with a couple of people this week about where I'm at, where we are at, where business is at, we've hit on some of what I've experienced over the last couple of years. And I do say, well, you know what? I am living my best life right now. And I am, because I'm living in a house that I bought on my own. Which is how I was living my best life when I met my ex-husband. But this time around, I don't have kids that I'm taking care of. It's just me living my life the way I want, how I want, and being able to go and see my kids, see my grandkids, work and not worry about anything, not worry about whose feelings I'm going to hurt. And that Is living my best life. But you know what? There's a whole lot more to living your best life. It can look like laughing so hard around the kitchen table that you forget what started it. It can be making plans you're actually excited about, spending time with people who let you be yourself, or waking up and realizing the life you're creating. Even while parts of it are still a work in progress and heading into the holidays, that progress is what's going to be amazing. It feels like it's something worth celebrating because you have made progress. And maybe you've not made the progress you've wanted to make, but you have made progress. And that's what counts. That's what matters. Now that doesn't mean that we haven't been through hard things. Some of us have had seasons of sadness, loss, disappointment, or change. And I know the holidays can bring a little of that back. A song, a tradition, an empty chair. Sometimes a memory catches you by surprise. There is still joy available to you. There are still memories to make. There are people to meet, things to look forward to. You can carry love for what was and feel excited about what's ahead. So this year I want to head into the holidays with a little more intention, more enjoying the people in the room, more saying yes to the things that sound fun, more taking the picture even when my hair isn't cooperating. While in Tennessee over this past weekend, my friend Nancy was taking all the pictures, and she does that. And my aunt and uncle said something like, you should be in the moment. And she said, I'm in the moment, but I'm also capturing memories. And that's true because I look through my phone and I really haven't been capturing any memories. It's screenshots of a text that I need to use for something or pictures of something wrong in a house that needs to be addressed. Not as many pictures as I used to take. And I need to get better with that because it's not just for me. These pictures, these memories are for my kids and my grandkids and niece and nephew and family members. This is something that will carry into the future. Maybe I'll do a little less trying to make everything happen exactly the way I pictured it. Because if you know me. Or if you don't, you may have picked up on. I am very set in my ways. And here's some of the things that I have thought about. What if I end up living with somebody and they don't make the bed the way I do? Or they don't do the dishes the way I do. Or at what point do I say, you know what, at least it was done. It may not have been done the way I would have done it. But it was done. And sometimes, as we say in business, done is better than perfect. So if it didn't happen or it wasn't done the way I pictured it, it's not the end of the world. Because some of the best moments are the ones nobody planned. Somebody stays a little longer. You laugh about how the bed still looks unmade. And you give a tutorial on how to do that. An old story gets told again, something goes wrong in the kitchen, and suddenly you've got a new family tradition, or at least a story nobody will let you forget. And that's life. And there's so much good in it when we give ourselves time to enjoy it. Maybe your best life this season includes a house full of people. Maybe it includes a smaller gathering. A new tradition or a trip you've always wanted to take. Maybe you're finally making room for something you've put off because everybody else's needs always came first. Whatever it looks like, let it fit who you are today. You're allowed to change. As Sydney Brown said, you are allowed to course correct. So you can change, you can correct the direction you're going to do something else that better suits you. You are allowed to enjoy different things, and you are absolutely allowed to have a wonderful holiday without doing every single thing you've always done. Here's something to ask yourself: what would make this season feel good to actually live through? Maybe it's inviting a friend over instead of waiting for an invitation. Buying tickets to hear live music, Baking with your grandkids and accepting that flour is going to end up everywhere. Or putting your phone down long enough to really be part of the evening. And I know people use their phone to take pictures, but you know what else I've noticed recently? People are buying the small point and shoot cameras again with the little SD card and taking photos that way. And they are actually putting their phone down, putting it out of sight. And maybe that's a new tradition. Pick something, put it on the calendar, give yourself something to look forward to. We spend so much time telling ourselves, once things settle down, I'll enjoy myself. Once things settle down, I'll do this. Life has a funny way of staying busy. And sometimes those things don't wait. So you need to do the things. Don't wait for things to settle down because I can tell you I waited for things to settle down and I waited too long and one of my dear friends was killed in a car accident. And I had thought to myself the week before, I need to call her and schedule lunch. And then the next week she was gone. So don't wait for life to slow down. Don't miss the moment. Let's make some room for enjoyment right here in the middle of life. As we head into these holidays, my hope for you is that you feel connected, hopeful, and excited about your own life, that you notice how far you've come, and that you leave plenty of room for laughter, good company, and a few happy surprises. Your best life can have unfinished projects, dishes in the sink, and plans that change. It can also have people you love, work that matters, new adventures, and ordinary days you're glad you didn't miss. So let's enjoy this season, make the call, plan the dinner, wear the outfit you love, start the tradition you've been thinking about. There is so much life still to be lived. And I'm excited to see what we make of it. I think over the next couple of months, it's a good time to take a minute and also journal, a gratitude journal. I've started those off and on over the years, but I really want to make a concerted effort, to sit down at the end of my day, even if it's only one thing I'm grateful for that happened that day. But it's something to help keep me reminded, life is good, and this is my best life. So I know this is a little out of the ordinary from what my episodes typically are, but this is something that had been weighing heavy on my mind. And I did want to share it with you. So I hope that you all are doing well and you enjoy Halloween in a couple of days. And then we will talk to you next time. Take care of yourselves and live your best life, whatever that looks like for you.