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I Think I Have ADHD... Now What? The First Steps for Adult Women | 013 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, it's Jess, and welcome back to Quick Wins for ADHD moms.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: In our last episode, we talked about the signs of ADHD in women.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe as you were listening, you had one of those aha moments, like, uh, wow.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: This explains so much about me.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So then what happens after that?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: What happens after that moment that you recognize maybe I'm seeing these patterns?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where do you go from there?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Self-awareness is a huge part of that journey.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: It sheds light on so many different things.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now there's so many different things to process.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now what?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first, let's do today's quick win.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, right now, take a quick look around your space.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are, in the car, in your office, at home, in your kitchen, wherever you are, take a quick look around your space.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is it bright or dim?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is it loud or quiet?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is it really messy?
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it really organized and clear?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that heavy, overwhelmed feeling isn't actually coming from you.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's coming from your environment.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: So try adjusting one small thing.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe open up a window, turn on a lamp, maybe lower the noise, or just clear a surface.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Tiny shifts in your surrounding can give your brain instant relief.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So start noticing things around you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Chances are if they affect you, they might be affecting your ADHD kids too.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your environment affects you more than you think.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a voiceover artist and leadership coach, and I've talked with many women who have changed just a few things around, even just their desk area or their office.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it made a massive difference in their day, the way they felt, their mood.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized I was coaching and doing voiceover work from a really small, dark space in my home studio.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's when I thought, well, if I'm telling other people to upgrade their environment, maybe I should upgrade mine too.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I got an upgrade on my own.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I made all the sound panels instead of the dark sound panels.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're all white.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I added mood lighting, I have fake plants, I have an adjustable stand-up, sit-down desk, and it makes a huge difference.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So consider your environment, assess it, take a look around, and then see what needs to change.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now back to the episode.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do if you might have ADHD as an adult?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, step one is recognizing it's not just you.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so first take a deep breath, remind yourself you're not broken, you're not lazy, you're not failing at life.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: ADHD is a real neurodevelopmental condition.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that moment of realization, it can feel both freeing but also overwhelming.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't about just slapping on a label, it's about having language or words for what you've always experienced.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I always tell my kids, use your words.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what we're learning here.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Using the right words or language can be a bridge to support, treatment, and self-compassion.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So step two, and everybody's journey is so different, and I want to honor that.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Step two, consider an evaluation.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you think you might have ADHD, the next step is to maybe seek professional evaluation.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean going to TikTok or Instagram reels to see if, oh, I'm like that too.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I must have ADHD.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Actually consider an evaluation with a professional.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, who is that?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: You could go to your primary care doctor who can do an initial screening and refer you.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: You could go to a psychiatrist who can formally diagnose and talk about medication options, or a psychologist or neuropsychologist who may do testing to look at ADHD and possible other conditions.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So why get evaluated?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because ADHD shares symptoms with many other conditions.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: It could look like anxiety, depression, thyroid issues, sleep disorders.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's a huge long list.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And an evaluation can help you know what's really going on and having a professional look at your specific situation.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So let me tell you a little bit about my own journey.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter and son were diagnosed, and as we went through the diagnosis process, I was checking off all the boxes too.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Brain won't shut down?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's me.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like you're being run by a motor?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, yep.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you fidgety and restless?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Why, yes, I am.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I've always been like that.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't just long, boring sermons at church when I was little that I couldn't sit still.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually a lot more to not being able to sit still.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I still can't sit through a movie.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it's torture just sitting there.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Although I really loved Fall Guy.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: That was really fun watching it with the kids and them belly laughing, and I probably was just really tired that day, maybe.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: But there's always been this underlying anxiety.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it was from me masking the fact that I was trying really, really hard to listen and pay attention during class, during Sunday school, to my parents giving me a lecture.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So after two of my kids were diagnosed, I thought, you know, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be bad if I just went and got assessed myself.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then I can see maybe it is just general anxiety, or maybe there's something else going on here.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I went to a local counseling and assessment center and went through the process myself.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: They used the Brown rating scale.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's an assessment tool that helps to assess executive function impairments associated with ADHD and some related problems.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: They also had me do an intake form and did an interview process for my diagnosis.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: So my brown test scores were actually really high.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I hit the 99th percentile in memory, which doesn't mean I aced the test.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: It just means I have significantly bad memory.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Only 1% of people assessed were worse than me.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yay.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And for those 1%, I'm sorry.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So going back to the brown scales, and there's there's different ways to do this, and I am not a professional.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just sharing my story from my point of view and the things that I've been through and have seen.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I went through is through the brown scale.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: So on the brown scales, the working memory cluster usually covers things like losing track of things, losing track of what you were doing mid-task.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like you were in the middle of something, and maybe you go out to the other room to get a pair of scissors and realize, oh, I didn't finish that project.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you start doing that project.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: You need something from that and realized, oh, I didn't finish this over here.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so you find yourself wandering around the house, completing all these half-tasks.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: It also covers things like forgetting what someone just said.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: It also covers struggling to follow multi-step directions and difficulty remembering what you read long enough to actually use what you just read.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I find myself doing that all the time, reading instructions, reading a recipe, um, walking over to the kitchen to grab, ah, what spice was that again that I was supposed to use and how much, like I just read it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And going through the evaluation process was was helpful for me because the test was able to tell me very helpful things.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: So it told me my key challenge areas, executive functioning.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I have time management difficulties or time blindness, and overestimating what can actually be accomplished.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: My husband saw that and he's like, I could have told you that.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: The assessment told me that I have attention regulation.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've got constant thoughts, or I express it as explosions in my head and difficulty maintaining focus.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I had physical restlessness, unable to just fully relax.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I can't sit and watch a movie.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just can't fully relax.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've just got to be in constant movement.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it also showed me sensory processing.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm easily overwhelmed, especially by young children and very complex environments.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: So many other moms loved being a mom, and I found it overstimulating and overwhelming.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish I would have known what to do to help myself better when the kids were little.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: But the assessment also showed me some of my current strengths, like my ability to hyperfocus when I'm engaged in something, how I grew multiple businesses across all these different industries.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a high-functioning ADHD and I've developed coping strategies.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know that I was doing that.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Another strength, and this is probably for a lot of ADHD moms, creative thinking.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the other one was recognizing a need for an organized environment.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is absolutely huge.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So recognizing I need an organized environment, but also our quick wins earlier was assess your environment.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it is organized, what about the mood of it, the feeling of it, the music, the there's so many things that go in to the sensory part of ADHD.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: So based on all of those things that came out of the assessment, it came with a recommended structure and support.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what you can do specifically based on your specific test results.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, my environment.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I need to maintain a clean, organized space, and that helps me support clear thinking.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be careful of time management.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I need to use external time tracking tools and need to break tasks down into smaller chunks so I'm not overwhelmed.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I also ask my husband, uh, here's what I'm thinking.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, you don't have time for that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, all right, got it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've learned to trust his time management skills because I realize there's been too many times where I just recognize I cannot manage my own time.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: For task organization, I need to implement a consistent planning system for daily tasks and appointments.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think I've mentioned this before, but I use Notion and it's an app on my phone.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can also go on the website browser and look at what my life is.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I stay organized.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I can go deep into that if you're interested, if it would help you.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: But Notion is a huge way that I can organize my tasks.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: For stress management, I need to build in regular breaks and quiet time to prevent the overwhelm.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then a physical outlet.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: So channeling physical energy through structured exercise or movement breaks.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I decided not to feel guilty for spending a few hours lifting at the gym each week because that was a huge help for me.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: So another thing you consider, and I haven't done this yet, um, would be working with an ADHD coach because they're able to take your assessment.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't even have an assessment.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they can just through talking with you understand where you need support.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: And they can help you come up with strategies that you can build on your existing coping mechanisms and then also address other areas where maybe you feel like you need support, but you can't really pin down what it is where you're struggling.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So recognize it's not just you that's dealing with these problems, it's just the way your brain is wired.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: So consider an evaluation.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if you do an evaluation, you can also explore treatment options.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I am not a doctor.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone who approaches this part of the journey is so drastically different.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've said this before, I'll say it again.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's journey is so different, and we can't point our fingers and say, you need to be on medication or you should never be on medication.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's just so many factors that go into this, and it's a personal choice.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, you get to decide what's best for you.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Some people decide not to do medication, and I'm excited to be able to talk to people about that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want to hear their story of how they deal with life without medication, because that's going to look different.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also excited to talk to people who have gone that route.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Treatment for ADHD is not one size fits all, and I'm very thankful for that.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: But some of the options for treatment could include medication, like stimulants, Adderall or Ritalin, or there's non-stimulants like Stratera that can help balance your brain chemistry.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: You could also consider therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, tailored for ADHD.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: It helps you build skills and reframe unhelpful thought patterns.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So unthoughtful help patterns, maybe mindset coaching could be helpful here.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I do offer mindset coaching.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I have been through CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy with my son.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it was helpful, but it wasn't the end-all be-all.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, definitely helpful, but we needed some more support in different places as well.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you are interested in getting some ADHD-specific coaching, um, I know personally a couple different amazing women who can coach you through ADHD.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just reach out and I can give you their contact information.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find coaching or support groups.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe having a coach or even a group of other ADHD moms can help keep you accountable and remind you that you're not alone.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of Facebook groups actually where you can meet other ADHD moms.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And another treatment option, and this is, I think this would come from anybody, whether you're on medication, off medication, you're going to therapy, you're going to ADHD coaching.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think all of us would agree that lifestyle adjustments are the biggest and quickest thing you can do for yourself right now.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you do all the other things, you're still going to want to make some lifestyle adjustments.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is huge.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Consider your sleep, nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, all of this plays a huge role in how your ADHD symptoms show up every day.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: So based on that, you want to build ADHD-friendly systems.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Even before you have a formal diagnosis, you can start experimenting with tools that support your brain.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a few simple tools that you can use.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Use visual cues.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Baskets, trays, labels that remind you where things belong.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I like baskets, but I have found the acrylic clear.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Things are much better because I can see what's in that basket.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Out of sight, out of mind, right?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So visual cues.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Break your tasks into really tiny, ridiculous, tiny steps.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of, oh, I need to clean the kitchen, maybe just think, okay, I need to put dishes in the dishwasher.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Just get really, really specific about what you need to do and then break that into really tiny little steps.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can use timers.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like my watch, I'll say, um, set a timer for 20 minutes.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Then I'll hyperfocus on what I need to do, get the stuff done, and then I can just relax or go on to my next task.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, body doubling.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people do this.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't done this yet, but you can work alongside someone else to help you get started.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then prioritize external reminders, your calendars, alarms, sticky notes, apps.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: We can't hold all of this in our head.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are wired different, and so we need external structure, external reminders.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So think of all this as just designing your environment to support you instead of relying on sheer willpower.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, give yourself lots of grace.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: That aha moment of I think I have ADHD can bring you a lot of relief, knowing maybe that's how who you've been all these years, and now you know how to support yourself and how to support your brain and how to support your kids.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: But for some people, it can bring up a lot of grief for all the years that you thought you were just disorganized, or maybe you missed opportunities.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's completely normal to go through that process.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: But right now can also be the start of self-compassion.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So now that your brain works differently, you can work with it instead of against it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I'd love for you to think about this week.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you've had that aha moment, what's the very next baby step you can take?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Is it writing down your symptoms to talk to a doctor?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're gonna want to know.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just sit down and think through all these different situations that you've been through and write it all out.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe journaling.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to order a book and just learn more about it.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's just simply telling your friend, hey, I think this might be me.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just taking one next step.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it's not about perfection, it's about progress.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about finally having words for what you've felt all along.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then give yourself some grace.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're not behind.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're right on time.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you need some more resources, there's always um you can look up Cleveland Clinic, ADHD in women.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can look up Chad.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's the children and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, Chad C-H-A-D-D.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's also Attitude Magazine, ADD, Attitude Magazine.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can look that up and read articles.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: So so many resources out there for you.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you have enjoyed this episode or you think maybe another mom should hear this, because it might be them too.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would love for you to recommend this show.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: You can find us at theadhdmom.com, or you can email me with any questions, or if you have an idea or you have a quick tip that really worked for you.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's Jessica at theadhdmom.com.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you guys have a wonderful week.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: You got this.