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Building a Secure Retirement While Supporting Aging Loved Ones · The One Small Change Podcast

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Welcome to the One Small Change. I'm thrilled that you're here with us
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again this week on this journey of exploration and transformation.
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And I'm Your host, Yvonne McCoy and I bring almost 30 years of
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entrepreneurial experience and I have a passion for discovering
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growth through the power of seemingly small change. I want you
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to know that each week I try to bring you somebody interesting who's going to
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give you some insights on their small, unexpected
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or insignificant decision. Decision that sparked a remarkable
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transformation and growth in either their personal, their
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professional or both. And this week we are talking with the
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amazing Bill Walters. Hi, Bill. Hey, Yvonne.
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Thank you so much for having me as a guest. I really appreciate the opportunity
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to get to know your audience as well as you. Well,
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I have to tell you that, that you're talking about
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a topic that I think is great. Kind of
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the imperfect family and
0:58
entrepreneurs. Not only do we have a very weird life, but we also
1:02
have that imperfect family. So I would love for you to
1:06
share what you do and also
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what happened that made you go in that direction makes you really good at what
1:13
you do. Sure, no problem. So what
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I do is I help people money fest
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or create a lifestyle in retirement
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where they achieve maximum productivity
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and that's either income tax free savings or
1:33
tripling. And I did say that we're tripling their savings
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from their old 401k or
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529 plan or whatever plan that they have in place
1:46
in 10 years. And so how
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I got started, it's pretty simple.
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My mom was on her
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caretaking process for my dad
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for many, many years. And while my dad was on his deathbed,
2:08
he reached up and grabbed me and in his
2:11
navy way and said, take care of mom. And I said, yeah dad, I got
2:15
this. And then he really grabbed me hard and said no.
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I said take care of mom. And I said, yeah dad, I heard
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you the first time. I didn't know what he really meant by that.
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And so when he passed and my mom aged 10 years,
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she didn't have a long term care plan in place. I was it.
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And she just plopped herself on my couch and never left.
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And I was left with the responsibility of selling her house,
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consolidating her, her ownership of
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things and creating a long term
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care plan for her that was not only
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new to me, but I made a lot of mistakes out of love.
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And in the, in the six year span that she spent,
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there was no regrets, but I learned the importance and
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the difference of removing fall risks and
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having everything on one floor. So there's no stairs or steps
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and bed alarms and
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adult incontinence diapers. And the differences between them and
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having people come into the house as personal care assistants
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to do bathing and general household cleaning up after her, because
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I always knew what room she was in because there was always a trail of
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crumbs from either cookies or pretzels. And
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so I learned all these things and I could shorten them up
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into a 20 minute conversation so that you don't make the same mistakes
3:43
out of love that I did. All right, so this is what I want to
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do. I know the people that are listening to this
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introduction because they're mainly entrepreneurs, is saying,
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what does this have to do with me? Do you know what?
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I don't get it. Okay. And one of the reasons that
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we connected is because I had that experience as well
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at being an entrepreneur. And so the thing that I want
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to say to people is the first thing that you said was
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I can grow your retirement fund. So there may be some
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who have never worked for a corporation or. And have a
4:20
retirement fund that this might. I don't know whether what you do is
4:24
applicable to anybody who wants to set up their own retirement fund.
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I don't. Yes. So it. So if you have just general
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savings or money in a bank or money
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that's not really earning true
4:40
interest beyond or above inflation,
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then I would be the guy that can really make a difference in
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that gameplay. And there's two strategies. There's a tax
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deferred strategy and there's a tax free strategy.
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And doesn't on both of these, they're not
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limited by age. So you could be
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10 or you could be 85 and still
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they would work. All right, so here's the other part that I
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think where there's the overlap and that is
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if. If you are an entrepreneur and you have an aging
5:18
parent, you are stepping into
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some totally unknown stuff. Yes.
5:25
Right. And you're doing it at a time when
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you're stepping into unknown stuff in
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your business, which means that your life without some kind
5:37
of guardrails, some kind of insight, some kind of advice
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is going to be a whirlwind that you did not
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expect and cannot anticipate
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the things that are going to come up. You mentioned
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you knew where your mother was because of the breadcrumbs.
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My mother. It was chocolate, it was candy
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wrappers. Right. And you know, the thing
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is that this is the parent that raised us
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and we love them very much,
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whether they're. I always say everybody has, you know, everybody
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has a mother, whether she's an angel or a devil. We all have mothers.
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Right? Exactly. However, it
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seems to me that as every parent ages,
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they become more demanding and they're just more things
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that happen at a time when you're trying to grow your business. So
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I'm going to let you talk about this and I will chime in with my
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own horror stories or whatever. But. But I wanted to
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make that connection because I didn't want people to hear the beginning of the
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podcast and say, well, what does this have to do with entrepreneurship?
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And what I say to people is, you have 24
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hours. That includes your entrepreneur business and
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your personal life. And when you have to take care of your
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parents as well as your own family, if you're
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in that sandwich generation, God bless you because I've lived
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through that. And it's
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demanding, requires a lot from you. So go Bill.
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So it's very demanding. It's very, very
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demanding. Right. Because what happens
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is that you have to be aware of doctor's
7:26
appointments and actually go on them or send someone who's reliable to take the
7:30
notes to actually hear what's going on. And you
7:34
have to do the medicine allocation and make sure that it's taken at the right
7:37
time, then the
7:41
therapy, if needed, as well as making sure that
7:45
mom slash dad is drinking enough liquids, because if they don't drink
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enough liquids, they become dehydrated and they start seeing things like
7:53
spots and having conversations with people that aren't there. And
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you also have the opposite end of it, which is
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cleanliness, which as you age, you don't feel like getting
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showered or bathed as much. And so that's why you need someone else
8:08
to do that bathing three times a week so they stay clean,
8:12
because you don't want urinary tract infections. And that's for both guys and
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girls. And so again, all these things are taken
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into account, plus pulse ox
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readings and weight readings. And because my mom had a heart condition, if
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she gained three pounds overnight, it just meant that her heart
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wasn't working properly and we had to get the liquid out. So you do all
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these things that are concerned with mom at the same time. I have a
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daughter that's on the spectrum who be classified as
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special needs and a son add.
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And so when you're looking to do those things, manage
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those people, take them to their activities, manage moments
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and then run a business.
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You're trying to just maintain status quo, not even grow, because
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you're just trying to survive. You're trying to make it from
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wake up Time to going to sleep without making any mistakes
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for your current clients and still have a semblance of order
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and knowing when to hire personal care assistants so that
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you can do your job. All right, can I stop you right away?
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Yes. This is, I think, the biggest mistake
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that I see. So the first one is that we don't,
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you know, we don't know what we don't know. Yep. So if you have
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a parent who is, you know, I don't know what
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the right age is, but I would think mid-60s,
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70s, you need to have a conversation with them.
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You know, what is it that they want? You need to have a conversation with
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your siblings. I was very lucky,
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and I say that because you can't have this conversation early
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enough. Typically, by the time you realize that you need
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help, it's already too late. It has already caused
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havoc in your life. And I was lucky enough to have had a
10:09
conversation with a family friend of ours
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who worked in the aging community, and he sat down with my brother, my sister
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and I, in a restaurant, like, in a neutral place,
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and said, what is it that you know, what is it that your parents want
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and what is it that you want? And my brother was like,
10:28
put her in a nursing home. This was like, after my dad died, put her
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in a nursing home. And my sister's like, well, I'm not nearby.
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I leave it up to you guys. And I'm like, mom doesn't want to go
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to a nursing home. So it fell on me. And
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if that's going to happen, you need to know that sooner than later.
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You know, what, what, what kind of support you're going to get, whether
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it's going to be financial, whether it's going to be mental,
10:53
whatever. So that's, that's probably
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my biggest thing. And to know that your parent is not. Is going
11:01
to resist because they feel like you're taking away their
11:05
independence and they're, you know, you're the child, they're the adult, they
11:08
know better. So it is an uphill and something, sometimes very
11:12
thankless job. I'm
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sorry I spouted. But, but no, it's, it's
11:19
accurate because it's very
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thankless in the aspect that
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you don't know what, what you're doing
11:30
until you're in it. But I can say this, that
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the gift back is that whether you
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have. I was the only child, so I didn't have a chance to
11:43
get help or respite help. But when you
11:47
take care of a mom, it's just the same way as you
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would that she did when. When you were a child, because
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she loved you and she took care of you. Well, now it's time to return
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the favor. Now, the best time to reach out to someone is
12:03
in their 60s, because they're still cognizant. And you get their real
12:06
dreams, and you get it in writing, and then you laminate it
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so they can't rip it when they're older, because you want to
12:13
do exactly what their game plan is. So if their game plan is
12:17
to stay home and they say, I didn't want this, or I didn't. I
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didn't sign up for this, and I'm like, yeah, you did. And you take
12:25
it out and say, is that your signature? Well, yeah. Is that your
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handwriting? Yeah. And you asked for this. So
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we're giving you exactly what you asked for. And then they get mad, and that's
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why it's important to laminate it, because they can't rip it because it's their
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signature, and they made it when they were cognizant and sharp.
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So you're honoring that. And it's important because you're not throwing it in
12:47
their face. You're not teasing them. You're just trying to give them
12:51
the golden years to be truly golden. Yeah. And
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I think the other thing is,
12:59
is to have a will. We haven't even
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gotten to that part yet. Oh, I. I'll wait on that part, though. But.
13:06
But you know, the thing I think that I found that. I
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think you also need to be. Is you talked about doctor's
13:14
appointments. You need to be an advocate for your parent.
13:18
I mean, you know, unfortunately, there is
13:21
ageism in the medical community. I
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mean, I. I went to the doctors and said, can you give. Can you
13:29
up the dosage? My mother was in her 90s. Right.
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And I said, can you up the dosage on my mom's happy pill?
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Right. And he goes, has she.
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Has she talked about killing herself? And I said, no, she makes us
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want to kill ourselves. And he goes, have you thought about
13:49
therapy? And I'm like, really? The woman is in her
13:53
90s. I said, she doesn't have enough time left for
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therapy to kick in. I mean, and it sounded. It
14:00
sounds harsh, but her life is better when she's happier, and
14:03
so is ours. Just, you know, up the pills, because
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who's going to take her to this additional appointment that she
14:11
doesn't want to go to to do something she doesn't want to do?
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And so you have to. You know, there's a certain point where you just have
14:19
to be really realistic about what's possible.
14:22
And the other thing about talking to your parents when
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they're still cognitive is. And I said this to you,
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you know, because both my parents lived to be 94.
14:35
Social Security had two different birth dates for my dad
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and it took us a while to clear that up after he died.
14:43
Then it turned out my parents were married for almost 70 years and my
14:47
mother never changed her Social Security to her married name.
14:52
That makes no sense. I mean, so you
14:56
want to have take a look at those things before you need them,
15:01
right? 100%. So you
15:04
know what I tell people is an estate
15:08
plan is really important. It's just not for the rich. And in an
15:12
estate plan you include a medical care directive and a
15:15
financial care directive. The person does the medical care
15:19
directive is so that they can make the sound
15:22
decisions not from the heart, but from the head when it comes to
15:26
medical advice. Resuscitate, do not resuscitate,
15:30
et cetera. And then the financial standpoint,
15:33
you want to get power of attorney not to take mom
15:37
and dad's money, but just so that they don't get scammed from
15:41
somebody on the telephone, somebody that's a relative. And
15:45
that's why I call perfectly imperfect families because I had that
15:48
crazy uncle who knew my
15:52
schedule and he used to stop by the house and have mom write him a
15:55
check for $4,000 to cover his expenses
16:00
just because he. So he would drop over a twelve
16:04
dollar bouquet of flowers and walk away
16:07
with, you know, three
16:09
$988 worth
16:13
of profit. And then I was like, you're stealing from your
16:17
own sister, you have your own money. What are your. Well pays my expenses. And
16:21
I'm like, no. So after he did it the third
16:24
time, I took away the checks, okay? And
16:28
I said there's no reason for it. So there's something that you
16:32
said that, that I think may sound harsh
16:36
but I think is really important. And that is this
16:40
is a situation where you really
16:44
need to have some logical boundaries. You need to
16:47
have a logical someplace where you can help, where somebody
16:51
can help you make logical decisions. Because
16:54
emotionally you're going to be so wound up. I mean,
16:58
you're dealing with your parents, so you know, whatever
17:02
baggage you're bringing to begin with, right?
17:05
And, and then this is like this emotional time where you start
17:09
to see them declining and you just need
17:13
somebody that can give you feedback. I
17:16
mean, and so that was, for me, that was one of the things that really
17:20
helped me was that I got a caretaker who came,
17:24
you know, for a couple hours every day, who saw my mother every, you
17:27
know, and father every day. She actually saved my dad's life
17:33
because he laid down on the couch and then didn't wake up. And
17:36
apparently he'd had a Caesar seizure, you know, and she
17:40
had enough, you know, background that she knew that something was wrong and
17:44
called the ambulance and got him to the hospital and stuff. But she saw
17:48
them every day so she could say to me, you know, this is what's going
17:51
on. This is, you know, your dad is not moving as much as he was
17:54
or your mom is like doing this right, where I
17:58
was going out once a week and I was, you know, and so I won't
18:02
say they were on good behavior, but. But
18:06
I didn't necessarily get to see the change the
18:09
way that she did. And, you know, and she was
18:13
trained. I mean, she'd been through a lot of these, so she
18:17
knew what kinds of things were not just a
18:20
blip, you know, but a kind of, a normal kind of thing that was happening.
18:26
Yeah. So, you know, when you're, when you're doing that and you're getting
18:30
organized and you create an estate plan inside, the estate
18:34
plan has a will, but it's not the
18:37
will because the most important thing is to have something
18:41
in writing because the state doesn't recognize verbal. But a
18:45
will is better than no will. But a, a
18:48
trust or an estate plan that includes a
18:52
trust is the best method because you don't
18:56
air your public laundry in the court of law.
18:59
All that information is hidden under the trust and no one else
19:03
knows your business. And it's really important because if that
19:07
becomes public records, all different information is
19:10
proprietary, goes on the black market, and people could take it
19:14
and recreate an identity and create debt
19:18
in someone who has passed away his name, okay.
19:22
And that the people don't know. So these are the things you need to worry
19:25
about. This is what you protect against. And
19:29
then the question is, well, how do you do that? Well,
19:33
you don't want to be a burden to your children, right? So you
19:37
create something that is your wishes and you have them follow it
19:40
and you put it into an estate plan that has a trust. And you
19:44
don't want your parents to be a burden to you. And taking care of them
19:48
is not the burden. The burden is giving
19:52
them exactly what they asked for, which is
19:55
the standard of living, whether it's assisted living, whether it's
19:59
full time nursing or in home nursing care, slash personal
20:03
care assistant. You do want to do is
20:06
minimum of 25 hours a week with outside help so
20:10
that you have some sanity and free time to run your business.
20:14
Okay? And if you don't have that sanity, you're not going to get the proper
20:17
amount of sleep. You're going to start gaining weight
20:21
because you're going to eat your calories because you're exhausted and you think your food's
20:25
going to refresh you. Before you know it, you've gained 20 pounds.
20:28
And you don't know how. It's because you're not exercising to take care of
20:32
yourself. So the reason why I bring this
20:36
up is because we want people to
20:39
be the best version of themselves, whether it's in business,
20:43
whether it's in life, whether it's caretaking of others. And we want them
20:47
to have their golden years be truly golden. Well, in order to do
20:50
that, you have to be organized. You just can't live paycheck to
20:54
paycheck. One needs a budget, you need a
20:57
retirement budget. And you figure out what's the
21:01
missing delta, is what I call it. The missing delta that you
21:05
haven't set aside for. And then the time frame to save for
21:09
that gives you your answer. So
21:12
when we're talking about finances and, and how to get organized
21:16
and exit strategies from your business, even if you don't
21:20
have an exit strategy, you need to know what you want to do
21:24
with your business. So when you do leave it, it's just not
21:27
left in the air. And all that hard work and effort that you did
21:31
to build it up is not wasted because no one wants to go to
21:35
the next level. Like you were not motivated.
21:39
I cannot believe we're running out of time. I just want to say
21:42
one other thing. 1. And then I'm going to get your three
21:46
things that people can do right away. And
21:50
that is also find out where your parents have their
21:54
money. And as an entrepreneur, someone said to me,
21:58
what if you drop dead? What about the passwords? Would anybody be
22:02
able to even contact your clients? So this, this affects, you
22:05
know, you, you. You're helping your parents, but you're also learning what
22:09
you need to do for yourself. So what are three things that we can do
22:13
right away? You know what?
22:17
Game plan, Game plan for the future. Create a written
22:21
roadmap. That's one thing. And that the
22:24
idea to have a storage spot
22:28
for your passwords in your favorite vase
22:32
inside that no one knows about so that they could go to it
22:35
and say, that's where it is. Something happens to me. Here's all my key
22:39
information. No one's going to look there. Another spot that you could put
22:43
in is put it in your freezer, okay. And wrap an
22:46
aluminum foil and say emergency, emergency on
22:50
it. No one's going to go there either. Okay, it will
22:54
because of tv. I've seen that on tv.
22:57
Yes, but it's emergency information. People are not
23:01
going to go into that area if they're robbing your house.
23:05
Right. Because they're not going to go to the freezer and look on the merch
23:08
because it's just passwords and you can't sell it. It's not that type of
23:11
robbery. So that, that's one key thing is to set
23:15
up that way. I would recommend highly
23:19
that you have a conversation with me so I can give you
23:22
complimentary advice that is going to get
23:26
you on the straight and narrow. And yes, I have a free gift.
23:30
I'm an author, I have multiple books written. I would be happy to
23:34
send you a complimentary you meaning your listening audience,
23:38
a complimentary book with an inscription on it since
23:43
I'm a five time published author. So. Fantastic. And the
23:46
thing I will add is make sure you start having this conversation earlier
23:50
than later. Okay. Bill, when was the last
23:54
time you did something new? For the last, for the first time? You
23:58
know, that's a great question. I was at a, I was a monitor
24:01
or a camp counselor at a special needs
24:05
camp and I got asked by one of the campers
24:09
to rock climb, which I've never done before on a wall.
24:13
And so he said it's easy. Look,
24:17
he just goes straight up.
24:20
So I'm like, sure, it's easy. It wasn't so easy because,
24:24
you know, I'm 59 and he's 24. So it's.
24:28
But I did it. So it's the, that's the last time I did something that
24:31
was learned. First time, Brando, that rock carming
24:35
is great. I, I took a class to rock climbing and I think I got
24:39
a foot off the ground. But, but
24:42
anyway, okay, so it's time for me to give you the
24:46
commercial. So I hope that you will
24:49
subscribe and share and engage in this, you know, this podcast on
24:53
social media. Because one of the reasons that I did it is I wanted
24:57
to bring people into your world that were going to give you,
25:02
you know, help you supercharge your business through connection. It's my way of
25:05
giving back when as I meet really interesting people and their
25:09
stories to be able to share that with you. So I hope that you'll continue
25:12
to share the one small change and that you'll continue to
25:16
come back if you haven't done it yet, you should listen to the
25:19
first episode or just any of the quarterly clarity check
25:23
ins just to get some ideas of, you
25:27
know, some ideas and some trends. So, Bill, what are the last
25:31
words you'd like to leave people with? So
25:37
I'm a big believer in
25:41
trust. And so I would ask that people would align
25:44
with their faith and to lean in
25:48
and trust and when they pray with intention
25:52
to be viewed as, as God sees them,
25:56
and when you're in alignment with your faith, things have a way of
26:00
working out. Okay,
26:04
so as always, we've run out of time, but I want to
26:08
leave you with this message. Remember, change is simple,
26:12
but it's not always easy. And it requires courage, resilience, and a
26:15
willingness to step out of your comfort zone. And if you stay
26:19
comfortable, it means you're not growing and the world is changing around
26:22
you, whether you are trying to, you know, do anything or
26:26
not. And if you're not keeping up, you're going backwards, which means you're
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stagnating. So I hope you will join me for the one small change
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again as we embark on this journey and we build bold
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vision and innovative possibilities. And until the next
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time, please stay very curious. Bill, thank you.