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Living Without Fear - The Power of Self-Trust | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

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  Welcome, my dear friends, to the 131st 2 episode of Living
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  Without Fear. I'm Esther Burkey, your host
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  from Switzerland, and I'm so grateful that you're here with
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  me again, taking this precious moment out of your day to listen
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  with your heart wide open. You know I always try to bring
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  you my truth. Not the shiny, polished version
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  of life, but the raw, honest one.
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  The one that breathes. The one that sometimes hurts.
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  Because I've learned that when we share our struggles and our
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  learnings with honesty, we build bridges.
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  Invisible bridges from heart to heart.
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  And today I want to talk about something I see so often in my
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  coaching work, and something I have wrestled with myself for
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  many years. Trusting ourselves.
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  You might think it's something we all naturally do, but it's
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  not. For many of us, trusting
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  ourselves feels like standing on the fragile bridge, afraid it
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  might collapse if we take one more step.
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  For so long, I doubted myself. I trusted others more than I
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  trusted my own voice. I believed they knew better what
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  was right for me, what was possible for me, even who I
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  should be. It's strange.
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  When I look back, I can see now that this lack of self trust was
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  deeply connected to how little I felt my own worth.
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  I thought other people were somehow more important, more
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  intelligent, more valuable than I was.
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  And I know some of you listening might feel the same way.
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  When we don't truly feel worthy, it's almost impossible to trust
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  our inner voice because that voice becomes quiet.
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  So quiet that we can't hear it anymore.
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  My journey to discovering my birth started in my late 30s.
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  Back then, I was still working full time as a journalist and
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  communication specialist. Driven, curious, passionate
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  about people's stories. But on the inside, I often felt
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  insecure. Then I met this extraordinary
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  woman, my therapist. She was radiant, intelligent,
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  elegant, gentle and grounded. She embodied a kind of feminine
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  power that fascinated me. She had children and I didn't
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  have mine yet. I became a mother much later in
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  life, at 41 and again at 43. During our therapy sessions, she
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  taught me something priceless. She taught me that worthiness
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  has nothing to do with what we do.
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  Not our job, not our looks, not our achievements, but everything
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  to do with who we are. She would often say, Esther, you
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  are worthy simply because you are.
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  At first I didn't believe her, but she kept repeating it until
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  one day something in me began to soften.
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  After those sessions I started creating little rituals for
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  myself. One of my favourites was going
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  to a beautiful coffee house in Zurich.
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  You know those old cosy ones with wooden tables and big
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  windows? I would order a big latte
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  macchiato and a warm French croissant.
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  I would sit there watching the people walking by, feeling the
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  sun through the glass, and I'd imagine that I was a queen.
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  Not in an arrogant way, but with a quiet dignity.
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  I would whisper to myself, I'm enough, I'm lovable, I'm worthy
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  of all the beauty life offers. And for those moments, I
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  believed it. I felt radiant.
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  My whole energy changed. I smiled at strangers, I felt
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  connected to life. But then came motherhood and
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  everything turned upside down. When my first son was born, I
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  was completely overwhelmed. I loved him so much, yet I lost
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  myself in the process. Every thought revolved around
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  him, his sleep, his food, his happiness.
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  I had no space left to take care of me.
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  I saw my therapist again, but there were so many new topics.
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  Exhaustion, guilt, identity, trying to be a good mother and a
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  good partner. My energy was scattered in all
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  directions. I was trying to do everything
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  perfectly and that's a sure way to lose your inner peace.
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  After 15 months, I became pregnant again and although I
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  was happy deep down, I felt completely drained.
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  I didn't realize it then, but I was living in survival mode.
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  I didn't go to coffees anymore, I didn't have quiet moments.
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  I forgot about my worthiness rituals and slowly the old
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  feelings came back. Self doubt, comparison, feeling
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  small. I think every mother and
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  honestly every human being who gives too much of themselves
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  reaches this point at least once where they realize I've lost me.
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  But here's what I want you to remember.
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  Even if you lose your connection to yourself, you can always
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  rebuild it. The truth is, we all forget who
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  we are from time to time. Life happens, we give, we care,
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  we rush. But the beautiful thing is, your
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  worth never leaves you. It's like the sun behind the
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  clouds, it's always there waiting for you to see it again.
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  That's why rituals are so powerful.
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  You don't need anything big. Start small.
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  Maybe you light a candle every morning and take 1 deep breath
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  just for you. Maybe you walk outside without
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  your phone and feel the air on your skin.
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  Or you Simply put your hand on your heart and whisper.
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  I trust you because that's where real trust begins.
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  Not in the head, but in the heart.
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  When you feel worthy, you stop asking for others to improve
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  your choices. You stop needing constants,
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  constant reassurance. You realize that your inner
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  voice, this quiet, loving whisper, is actually the most
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  trustworthy guide you ever have. So try it now.
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  Take a deep breath. Breathe into your heart and say
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  softly, I trust you, you are all I need.
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  Do you feel that warmth, that little spark inside?
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  That's the beginning of real self trust.
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  You can build on it every single day.
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  Start your mornings with this breath and your days with it.
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  If you feel inspired, create a mantra that grounds you.
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  It could be I'm safe with myself or my heart always knows the
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  way. Let it be your quiet companion
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  whenever fear or doubt arise. And please don't be discouraged
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  if you can't feel it yet. I couldn't either for a long
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  time. There were many years of
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  struggle before I finally found the peace I live with today.
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  If you want to know more about that path, the fear, the
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  heartbreak and the beauty that followed, you can order my book
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  Living Without Fear on Amazon and read it.
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  I share it all there honestly, vulnerably and with love.
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  And if you feel stuck, if you need a companion on your own
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  journey of self trust, I'm here. Ioffer one-on-one sessions where
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  I help people reconnect with their inner strengths and let go
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  of all patterns that no longer serve them.
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  Because I know this. You already carry everything you
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  need inside you. You are worthy of your own
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  trust. You are worthy of peace, of joy,
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  of love, exactly as you are. Thank you, my dear friend, for
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  being here today, for listening, and for daring to grow with me.
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  Until next time, breathe deeply, love yourself gently, and
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  remember you already are everything you've been searching
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  for. I talk to you next week.