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Divorced and Dating with Kids · Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix

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  All right, if you're dating somebody who is divorced with
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  kids, this is for you. Also, if you're new to dating
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  and you're divorced, listen up. I'm Gina Hendricks.
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  I'm a professional matchmaker for 16 years.
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  I'm an author, I've written several books, and I am also a
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  relationship expert and coach. First thing you need to know is
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  those kids will always come before somebody they are dating
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  and even they should come before somebody they get married to.
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  Again, if somebody you're dating doesn't prioritize their
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  children, you don't want to date them anyway.
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  One of the big questions that I always ask somebody when I'm
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  interviewing them before setting them up is how do you get along
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  with your ex? Especially if their kids are
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  younger, their kids are older, it's not such a big deal.
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  But if their kids are younger, you definitely want to know how
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  they get along with their ex because if it's tumultuous, it
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  is going to trickle over into their next relationship for
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  sure. Another big question to ask and
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  to keep in mind is just because they have kids, it may mean they
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  might not want anymore or they might want more.
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  But until you ask the question, you're never going to know.
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  So make sure you get clarification.
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  Hey, do you want more kids? I'm always suspect about
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  somebody who wants to introduce their kids to somebody new right
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  away. Why?
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  Because I guarantee you they've introduced those kids to other
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  people right away before, and that is not healthy.
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  You're looking for people who are healthy, have healthy
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  boundaries, and introducing their kids to strangers that
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  they're dating, in my opinion, is not a healthy boundary.
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  In fact, I knew a guy at one point.
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  He said, Gina, hey, I'm taking my young girls young, two young
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  daughters. I'd love to take a woman with us
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  on the vacation with my children.
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  I had to tell him, hey, you only get one shot at your kids being
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  little. Why would you want to bring some
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  strange woman as a date on your vacation?
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  Don't do it people. How do they talk about their ex?
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  Are they bad mouthing the ex? Bashing the ex?
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  Using expletives to describe the ex?
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  Because if they're doing it to you in front of you, I guarantee
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  they're also doing it to their kids.
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  And really, do you want to date someone like that?
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  I don't think so. And for those of you just
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  entering the dating world after divorce, you don't want to talk
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  about your crazy ex. You don't want to talk about how
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  your kids are in jail or they're going through hard times.
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  No, you don't want to share any of that with somebody too soon.
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  A person you're dating has to earn that has to earn the trust
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  for you before you're going to open up and reveal those 3
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  details. OK.
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  You also don't want to date someone that has still has their
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  life merged with their ex. There's not going to be room for
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  you in that scenario. I knew one man whose kids were
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  grown and he was still he still had his life.
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  So marched with the ex, spending holidays with her all as a
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  family. And he would even make sure that
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  the ex approved the women that he was dating or he wouldn't
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  date him. I said I couldn't work with that
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  guy. All right, so last but not
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  least, and this is the biggest finances.
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  OK, any man, specifically a man who is being hunted down by his
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  ex for money to support his own children is not a man you ever
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  want to date. And I don't care what he says.
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  Oh, she set me up. Oh, she tricked me.
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  Oh, she's psycho. No, any man that's saying that
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  is a psycho as well. All right, he just told you
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  everything you need to know. So here's what I want you to do,
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  lady. Hit the gas, peel out of the
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  parking lot as fast as you can, and never look back.
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  All right, Also, I go live every Sunday night, 5:00 PM Pacific.
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  You can RSVP on TikTok using the live link that I have there.
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  And that way you get a reminder when I go live so you won't miss
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  it because that is where I spill the best tea.
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  All right, talk to you soon.