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Feel Stuck? Don't Mom Alone · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a procrastinator?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Do you struggle with low self-esteem?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel burned out all the time?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you tend to operate in extremes?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: As in, do you often see yourself as all in or all out?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are your decisions and choices guilt-driven?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these are just a few manifestations of what you might do when you think you have to do mom life in your own strength, and when you feel like you have to raise yourself.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, you feel alone, and each of those patterns of behavior I listed are things you don't want to do.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: But your default behavior is often hindering you from flourishing and thriving in your season of life.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Most likely these behavior patterns may not be your fault, but now it's your responsibility going forward.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: So today, I'm going to show you how to no longer mom alone.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you're in a brand new city without family, no church, and your husband works overtime.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be sharing today what the orphan spirit looks like, whose fault it is, and how you can get unstuck.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I help you navigate the overwhelm and frustration of motherhood through faith, Enneagram, and simple plans.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: As a faith-based Enneagram coach, I champion you to love your mothering style because you are the mom your kids need, even when you don't feel like it.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest, overwhelmed and frustrated by motherhood.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn the challenges of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my self-awareness, and my family.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode of this podcast provides perspective through story, wholehearted purpose, and simple plan so you can discover how to love your mothering style and be confident that you are the mom your kids need.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to be encouraged and empowered while you listen.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the deal, my friend.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: We come into this world needing something or somebody to tell us we belong.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: We desire, we were created with desire to have a place of belonging.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't just mean friendships.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, a couple weeks ago I shared one of my favorite friendship stories and three ways to combat loneliness.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But today I'm going to address what I call the orphan spirit.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: The first step is about awareness.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to share a few keys to empower your spiritual growth so you can gain understanding about the behaviors you perpetuate when you are living as an orphan.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: When you possess awareness, you can begin to live as adopted and a beloved child of God.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, your first inclination is to argue with me that you don't have an orphan mindset.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I totally get it, and you wouldn't be the only one.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because you had good parents, you've already dealt with your parenting wounds.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: But hang with me.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because anything that you have experienced in life that is less than nurturing, it reinforces the enemy's message that you are unloved, unwanted, and unwelcome.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And while the thoughts of being unloved, unwanted, and unwelcome are universal, your experience is very subjective, which is why only God and you can fully understand and acknowledge the pain, wounding, or trauma of what you faced.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is why your unique struggle and feeling alone is just as nuanced as your personality type.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I am not a licensed therapist, which is why my role is focused on helping you identify and becoming aware of the orphan spirit.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: As the Holy Spirit brings awareness and healing, you may discover you need further help.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: But for now, we can make progress as we take another step in awareness this week.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: You may be quick to say or think that you don't live with the orphan mindset, right?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: You argue that your motivations aren't being driven by this deprived spirit.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Key word, deprived.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: While Satan isn't very creative, he is sneaky.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So let's see if we can identify a few of these patterns in your life.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of the ways you can tell if you or someone you love lives under an orphan mindset is that they are often very critical of their children, themselves, and others.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Next on the list are the people pleasers.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: The orphan mindset constantly hungers for the approval of others.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You aren't making a decision based on what God wants.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's always looking for confirmation and affirmation from others.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a procrastinator?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do you put off the things you really need to do because you are unsure you can actually do it or finish it?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or have the help you need?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: How about low self-esteem?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Low self-esteem is often a symptom of an orphan spirit because when you don't live under the delight as beloved, you place unrealistic expectations for yourself and you constantly live under the burden of not measuring up.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel burned out all the time?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just a reminder, friend, God did not ask you to do life alone or just shoulder all the responsibility.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is exhausting.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can and you need to ask for help from the Lord and from others.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Have you found yourself operating in extremes?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you often see yourself as all in or all out?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't do it perfectly, or if you have to learn something new, you just don't even start at all?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: How about mom guilt?
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you constantly making decisions and choices that are guilt-driven instead of feeling peaceful that the Lord is leading you?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this isn't fun to think about, but have you ever rejoiced when others fail?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe when you see that mom lose it in target, instead of having compassion, your first inclination is to compare your mom failings.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: That one's a tough one.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the deal.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: These all these things I've listed, they're just manifestations of the enemy convincing you that you have to do this mom thing alone, and it all depends on you.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I bet when you get stuck in these patterns of doing and thinking, you feel like you are spinning out of control.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why today the second step is to identify and name a few reasons why you might deal with an orphan spirit and struggle with these thoughts and behavior patterns.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe people in authority over you have pushed you to performance and perfection.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you feel like you have to do all the things and you have to get it exactly right.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe those in your family of origin, as in your parents or siblings or grandparents even, maybe they never walked in freedom.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they lived in bondage and so they didn't have the ability to speak delight over your life.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't know belonging or pleasure or goodness or acceptance.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you carry around a bad theology of who God is and how He views you.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: You may have even lived under a religious spirit, going to church all the time, doing all the things, and you didn't realize you were even doing it to earn salvation, but maybe that's really your motivation because that's all you've known.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your parents have been emotionally, physically, or spiritually absent.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And friend, it happens more than you think.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it's more often the case than it's not.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You need to hear today that it may not be your fault that you've lived under an orphan spirit, that these habits and these patterns that you do are not your fault.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the invitation.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is the invitation of awareness.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not to just go, oh, that's how I am, or that's how it's been.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's now the invitation to take responsibility and go forward to get free of these stinking ways of thinking.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: From thinking that you have to mom alone to being a mom who knows her worth and value.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: The invitation is to partner with the Lord and allow him to transform your mindset from orphan to adopted, from unwanted to beloved.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's costing you.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is costing you to stay where you are.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's costing you time, it's costing you relationships, it's costing you peace, your money, and ultimately it'll cost you your kids.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the imitation once again.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm asking you today, and God is asking you every day because his mercies are new every day.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: He says to put aside your pride, be okay with starting where you are.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Don't protect your image, just apologize.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because God says, I have things for you to do.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: The last step I'm going to share today is to begin to understand who God says you are.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And friend, I know you may have heard it all your life, and you can't think possibly believe there's something new.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm asking you to listen and to examine the word of God with fresh eyes, with new ears, with the awareness that you have today, awareness that your spirit needs something more than what you've taken from the word of God in the past or before.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: The word of God is alive and active.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: It teaches us who God is and who we are in light of Him.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And as we read the Word of God, as you read the Word of God, it changes things.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: It changes you.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: May you receive the truth of these words as I read them over you today.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: This first passage is from Psalm 27.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's verses 9 through 11.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You have been my only hope, so don't forsake me now when I need you.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: My father and my mother abandoned me.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am like an orphan.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: But you took me in and you made me yours.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now teach me all about your ways and tell me what to do.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Make it clear for me to understand.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Galatians 4, 3 through 7.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it is with us.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: When we were juveniles, we were enslaved under the hostile spirits of the world.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: But when that era came to an end and the time of fulfillment had come, God sent his son, born of a woman, born under the written law.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yet all of this was so that he would redeem and set free all those held hostage to the written law, so that we would receive our freedom and a full legal adoption as his children.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the spirit of sonship or daughtership into our hearts, moving us to cry out intimately, My Father, you're our true father, now no longer, living like slaves under law, but we enjoy being God's very own sons and daughters.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And because we're his, we can access everything our Father has, for we are heirs of God through Jesus, the Messiah.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: The words of John 14, 18, Jesus promises his disciples and us, I promise that I will never leave you helpless or abandon you as orphans.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: I will come back to you.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And friends, not only will he come back, but he has left us his Holy Spirit, so you do not have to mom alone.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And as I read this final scripture, remember, living as beloved and adopted does not come through striving or trying harder.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Paul writes to us in Romans 8:15, and you did not receive the spirit of religious duty, leading you back into the fear of never being good enough, but you have received the spirit of full acceptance, enfolding you into the family of God, and you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, beloved father, it is through revelation relationship that you can begin to take the steps you desire to walk in health and abundance.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Friend, you don't have to keep doing this mom thing alone.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it might take more than one podcast episode to help you get free of the orphan mindset.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I have two invitations for you to go forward.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: This year, I began my first ever 12-week coaching circle.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And while I will open it again, it most likely won't be open until September of this year.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't want to wait that long, I have five more one-on-one coaching spots, and hopefully one of them has your name on it.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I have led dozens of women like you who feel stuck in the messy middle and they are ready for freedom from anxiety, shame, fear, and their anger.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: So many of you believe something is wrong with you.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know that there's freedom in Christ, yet you feel stuck.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: I am here to tell you nothing is wrong with you.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Salvation is yours and you are saved, but healing is so often a journey.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is not instantaneous and you cannot do it alone.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the Lord has put you in this wholehearted community so you could be invited to explore your unique story.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: If emotional, spiritual, and physical healing is for you, I believe healing can be for you.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: In time, you will begin to walk in the abundance of peace and abundant life God has for you.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear from you via email.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can email me anytime, Amy at SimplyHolehearted.com, or you can follow the links in the show notes to learn more.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Get the Enneagram for Mom's Guidebook and schedule your 15-minute discovery session.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am here for you.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, the Enneagram shines a light on the relationship between the best version of you and the worst version of you.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It gives insight to your distorted beliefs and unconscious strategies, which can hinder the full expression of who God designed you to become.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I love being a faith-based Enneagram coach, because together, with God's help, I can champion you to be the wholehearted mom you long to be.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, if you're listening to this episode or this podcast for the first time, I hope that you will join us again.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: This special series airs on Mondays.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to be focusing on an Enneagram topic with action steps to help you thrive in motherhood.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: The first four of this series are up and live.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Just go back to episode 186 of the Simply Wholehearted podcast to get the full Enneagram for Mom's Guide.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, don't keep this to yourself.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Invite your mom friends to go along with this special series.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And stay tuned because on March 17th, I am going to be airing a very special conversation with someone whose story that you are not going to want to miss.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So March 17th, mark your calendars.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: A special fourth anniversary edition of the Simply Wholehearted Podcast will be up for you to listen to.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, you are the mom your kids need.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for the wholehearted life you desire.