Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Kelly Rowland + Jessica McKay: Modern Motherhood + Why Girl Groups Are Necessary

Transcript

Kelly Rowland + Jessica McKay: Modern Motherhood + Why Girl Groups Are Necessary · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: That put a new spin on pretty. This is pretty smart.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: It's not every day you get to sit down with
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: a music legend and a brilliant educator, especially together. Kelly
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Rowland is a Grammy Award winning artist, and for most
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: of us, her hits are included in the soundtrack to
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Our Lives.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Name Save a Name, No One Is Around You, I
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Love You game.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: From Destiny's Child to her successful solo career.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: So y'all like this, y'all didn't think that I.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: Was going?
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: You want to keep them.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Kelly has always been a force in the music business
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: and in culture, and since becoming a mother to her
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: two boys, the world has opened.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Up to new, endless opportunities.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Most recently, she's the author of a children's book, Always
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: with You, Always with Me. She co wrote it with
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: one of her best friends, Jessica McKay. Jessica is a
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: New York Times best selling author, educator, mother, wife, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: big dreamer.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I really love that about her.
• 1:37
  Speaker 6: We're mothers, but we're also women in our careers. We're
• 1:40
  Speaker 6: also daughters. There tends to be this narrative of like, oh,
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: you're becoming a mom, so there's the end of your career.
• 1:46
  Speaker 7: I like to flip that narrative.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Jessica has character.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Her words tell us as much about her as they
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: do ourselves. In fact, that's why she wanted to write
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: this book. It's an ode to modern motherhood, and she
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: fait if she and Kelly were needing a book like this, so.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Did a lot of other people. This episode goes deep.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: We're getting into relationships, like how they knew their husbands
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: were the ones their she go systems. We'll explain a
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: little bit later, and an aspect of motherhood that I
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: honestly wish more people talked about.
• 2:19
  Speaker 6: To see ourselves through our children's eyes. Again, it tells
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: us what we are and when we tap into.
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: So I've tapped.
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: Into my creative limitless possibilities.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: We're also talking Kelly's Destiny's Child days.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I think that girl groups are necessary.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: The artists that she thinks are changing the game.
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: It's like the more I watch people just be the
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: most like their most fun, amazing self Like for me,
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: it's like doja, I love watching dojah because she's just like,
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: you're gonna get all these fabulouses and.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: The most fun she's ever had on stage.
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: It would probably have to be Coachella getting prepared for
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: Coachella because one nobody.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Knew Today's a good day to get Pretty Smart.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, Jessica Mackay, Kelly Roland, Welcome to Pretty Smart. Thanks
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: so happy to have you here.
• 3:14
  Speaker 7: Thank you.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: You're an educator, you're an artist, and I'm dying to
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: know how you two met Our.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Kids yes, school, Yes, yes.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: They became really close and they both loved basketball. They
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: identified and seeing each other I think as black boys
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: in school when in class, I didn't thought Chase was
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: the coolest.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: Same talking about how cool Chase is and he is
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: a pretty great kid.
• 3:46
  Speaker 7: That's how they.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Brought us together.
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: The kids did it.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like you could have collaborated in different ways.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Why a children's book.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: She had a brilliant I.
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: Was experiencing it, you like, yeah, yeah, it was our story.
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: It needed to happen, and we were in that world.
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: Our kids were young, you know, three years old. I
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: had probably a five year old at the time and
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: a baby. So yeah, we were just that was that
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: was our world, so it made sense.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: To do children's I actually was gonna ask that because
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: the story felt really personal. There's a lot of different
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: aspects of motherhood you could have written about, and you
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: decided to write about a bond between a mother and
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: a child and the mom goes to work, and you
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: call it an ode to modern motherhood. Yes, which I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: really liked. I had a working mom and I remember
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: calling her when I got home from school at three,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: like when are you coming home? When are you coming home?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: And I didn't realize she must have felt so much guilty,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Like tell me where this story came from in your heart.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: I mean exactly what you said. It is for the
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: working mom. You think about how the world is progressing now,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: and you've got women starting companies and all kinds of
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: businesses right now, and how women are being more entrepreneurs,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: and they're trying to figure out this whole balance of
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: my career and motherhood and relationships and girlfriendships, and it's
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: all these different things. But the one that's so precious
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: and sacred is the one between your kid. You know,
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: when you're away, it does take time away from you
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: and this bond that you you know, so beautifully blessed
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: in a way like you know, Earth's child to come
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: into this.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: World and like, yo, man, you drop me off, you know,
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: but it's not just that.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: It's you know, going and experiencing your joy at work
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: as well, and sometimes that joy at work does take
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: you away from your time as a mother and trying
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: to figure out that balance. For me to this day,
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: it's still hard, you know, because our kids want us
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: to be there to wipe the nose, tell them they're
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: great and they are great, and get them dressed and
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: the teeth brushing it and like all these different things
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: that do so just naturally, and they craved that they want,
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: that they deserved, that they didn't ask.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: To come here. We want them here. We want to make.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: Sure they feel as nurtured and seen as and hard
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: as possible. So you know, when you weren't able to
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: be there, that guilt does kick in. And so it's
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: ode to both the kids and the.
• 6:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: I mean most children's books, of course, they're for the
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: child and the whole industry. In fact, when we were
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: first kind of pitching the idea, people were saying, oh,
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: it sounds like it's almost more for the adult and
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: so we had a little bit of pushback, and so
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: that was tricky.
• 6:37
  Speaker 7: But I think that's what makes it so beautiful is the.
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: Adult who's reading it gets, you know, some of the
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: benefits of easing the guilt, normalizing what their weeks look like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: they feel seen.
• 6:48
  Speaker 7: Than the child. You know, they can have this the
• 6:51
  Speaker 7: chorus in.
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: There, they can have this conversation and just yeah, open
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: up the lane for conversations so that it's normalized and
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: it's not this strange feeling. The parent child can get
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: their feelings out, yeah, in a healthy way.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: As I was researching for the interview, I realized nothing
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: like this exists, Like there's no language for what or
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: how to feel when a parent goes to work. Yeah,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: like this had to this had to be in the world.
• 7:20
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Yeah, that was so important for us.
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: We realized when reading to our children, this story is
• 7:27
  Speaker 6: not out there.
• 7:28
  Speaker 7: We have so many books. The kids have books where.
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: Love looks like mom being home with cookies r you know,
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: receiving you after school, or this is what love looks like,
• 7:38
  Speaker 6: you know, when you have a sick day, but Mommy
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: still has to go to work. And we just said,
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: but this is not what our lives look like. And
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: so you know, why not just create it. Let's let's
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: make a book that tells our story. This is the
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: book that we need it. And if we need it,
• 7:53
  Speaker 6: then chances are other parents, other moms need it too.
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so we did it.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: The Lily, which is email focused publication of the Washington Post,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: did a piece on mom guilty and they said fifty
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: seven percent of moms feel guilty every single day.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe it totally.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: What is it? What's the feeling for me?
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: It's an emptiness, It's a.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: It's a constant thought of how they're feeling for me.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: That's how it is for me.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: Because with Titan, I was just saying this. I remember
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: we have our cozy time at night. That's when I
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: always say. He's like a singing canary. Whatever I want
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: out of him. He's talking and he's expressing himself with
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: his day. It was like, it's friends music for blah
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: blah blah blah. And so I just asked him. I said,
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: I talked to him about my schedule coming up, which
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: is about to be a little insane, and I said
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: it's going to cause me to be away from home.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: I told him what we write down on the calendar
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: how long I'd be gone. And so immediately I told
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: Jessica this, his body language turns away from me.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: We were just cuddling.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: His body language turns away from me, and I said, WHOA,
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: what happened?
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: I asked him, and he.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Said, well, I don't like it when you're gone, and
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: his voice kind of crackled, and I felt so bad
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: because it is that cozy time that we have.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: You know, Yes he can get it from.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: His dad, Yes he can get it from his nannies.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: But he was, he was He's a part of me.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: He's heard my heartbeat, you know what I mean. It's
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: like it's just.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: A pulse that we have together that is just us,
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: To a specific way he likes his oat meal, I
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: know that now.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: A specific way he likes his sandwiches.
• 9:42
  Speaker 7: I know that now.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: Like certain things that we do on certain days of
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: the week, fum pancakes Sundays. That's actually something that happens
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: in our lives, Like we have pancakes every Sunday and
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: we have people over and that's just the spirit of
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: he and I, you know, And I think that that's
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: every pair with their child. So that part just makes
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: it feel like it's a it's a and it happens,
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: and he does understand. That's what he said. He understood.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: He goes, I know you have to go to work
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: and that's how you make your money.
• 10:14
  Speaker 8: That's understand the man as long as you.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: But he did understand it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: That is cool.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's still like I'm still gonna miss you.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: That's what he said.
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: He's like, I miss you so and it was just
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: that plain and simple. So I was like, Jessica, I
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: got to figure out how to keep him on this
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: movie set.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, how do.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: You navigate what you say yes to versus what you
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: say no to? Knowing that you have something really important
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: that would kind of make you want to say no
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: more than yes.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, always easy for me now.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I think when I was younger, I was like, yes,
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean, you don't want to miss
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: an opportunity. And I still don't want to miss an opportunity,
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: but like, how much does it mean? Like there's like
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: something I think that's coming up at the school and
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I was like, what am I doing this day? They're like, well,
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: you're out of town this day, I was like, well,
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: make sure I leave that night to make sure I'm
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: here for this because I need to be at the school.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: But the very next day I have to leave.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's like I can pop in and out,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: but I also have to make sure. It's like where
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: do you need me to be? Wherever you need me
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: to be, I'm there. So if it's on a day
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: where something big is happening, I can wait to.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Y'all and maybe wish y'all was here.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: But his need trumps everybody's. It trumps everybody's for sure.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Because you have three kids, and you have two kids,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: did the second and Jess for you the third kid?
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Like blow your life.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Up or out at it?
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Is it like once you have won the rest, No.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: We're probably gonna say the same thing.
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the second and third, it's just it's so different.
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: I mean the first that actually Montreal was just talking
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: about this yesterday my husband on Carter's birthday. When you
• 12:07
  Speaker 6: have that first there is nothing like that bond because
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: it's just you, you know, the parents and the child
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: all together.
• 12:14
  Speaker 7: And then as you expand, it's like it's family.
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: There more kids, and so everybody's like taking turns for
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: your attention, for your time, and and so there's a
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: lot more kind of spreading all of that out, but
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: the first one, you're just doting and like pouring your
• 12:31
  Speaker 6: all into that first And there's something really unique and
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: special about that.
• 12:35
  Speaker 7: I don't you know.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I'd say so for I looked Claude, Claude.
• 12:47
  Speaker 7: My only girl, and she's the youngest.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: She runs the house. You feel her energy. She's like, no,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: that's fine today.
• 12:55
  Speaker 7: Noah runs those boys.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: But Noah is my youngest and he runs our house.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: So when he came into the world, it was like
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: two feet on the ground.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Like this is mine.
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and we all had to somehow, everyone like listen
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: listening to this little baby.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: So you've mentioned girls. I know sisterhood is so important
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: to you. Do you have that craving.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: I could get through everybody else. And here's the honesty. Yes,
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna say this.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: I love baby. Yeah. It's not always like that. No,
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: it's not to be honest.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: I do whatever they say, like, you know, unless it's
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: like ridiculous, do.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: Whatever they say.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: You watch all the boy movies.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, over and over again.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: I can recite every single version of Cars one, two,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: and three, and all the short.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Stories on Disney Plus it's just insane.
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: So it's like I love these moments that I get
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: to have with them, where it's like, Mom, can you
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Titan doesn't know the difference between scratch and are from scratch,
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: but he calls them scratch pancakes.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Mom, can you make your scratch pancakes on Sunday? Sure? Honey?
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Can you figure out how to make that burger taco? Sure?
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: Noahs is bilingual? Noah's bilingual, he said, already, yes. So
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: it's just like interesting how I figured out and still
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: figuring out these men in my life.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I think that that for me is like God's humor
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: in my life because I grew up without a father.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: So here I am learning.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: These three men and these three dynamic characteristics and personalities.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: And figuring them out, and I'm raising two of them.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: It's amazing to me.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: You know, I never thought to not have a dad
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: and raised two boys. Where do you look?
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm really grateful.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: I have friends who have boys, older boys that have
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: graduated go on to college. Like That's why I'm saying
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: my circle is my lifeline. I'm so grateful because all
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna do is pick up the phone and ask them.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I've heard you call it your ICO system. Yes, is
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: that right?
• 15:25
  Speaker 9: Yes?
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: I have the best Yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: So you talk about building a strong group of female
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: friends and you call it the greatest blessing in your life, absolutely,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: which is beautiful.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: So I learned, I think, how to be a good
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: friend from my friends, right, like somebody would do something
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: for me and I thought, oh, that felt so good.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Let me do that for somebody else. Is there something
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: that you've picked up on that you can share that
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: sort of maybe helps inspire someone listening to pay it forward.
• 15:54
  Speaker 7: It's just feeling seen, like checking in.
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: You know. Of course everyone's there for the birthdays, the
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: weddings of this and that, but really it's that day
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: to day like how you doing. It's just that simple, really,
• 16:07
  Speaker 6: And so now I make a point always with you know,
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: new adult friends or anybody in my world. How are
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: you even if you want to send a quick like
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: I see you today, I'm sending you a prayer, you know.
• 16:19
  Speaker 7: Kelly and I do that.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: She's so in time with it.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Really, it's amazing how on time her last one, your
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: last one.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't even tell you, but she made me week
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: because I really needed that that day.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: And that's a blessing to have that in your she
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: eco system because you just never know. But when it's
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: a spiritual connection, it's like we don't have to talk
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: for two weeks and we back up. Yeah, And I
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, it's real, you know what I mean, because.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: When you're an adult, you don't have time to.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Just be on the phone. But it's so that's so important.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: I love I love looking at I love looking at
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: her is on Instagram of her with her family back.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Its me of like my family back in the A.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: So it's like a really cool to see.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Have you ever noticed how incorporating one or two small
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: daily actions can make a big impact on your mood
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: and your whole day. For me, it's taking a walk,
• 17:24
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• 19:50
  Speaker 1: So I've heard you both talk about this as you
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: were promoting the book, that you didn't have books that
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: made you feel seen when you were growing up. And
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I think so often nowadays we're talking about representation, which
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: thank god we're talking about it, but I think we
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: lose the muster when everyone's like, what does it mean
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: to you to see yourself in a book. What does
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: it mean when you don't What did you lose by
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: not seeing yourself in a book?
• 20:18
  Speaker 7: Growing up?
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Just being reflected in the world, you know, to be
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: seen in the world. Like, with all due respect to
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: like the books that I did see, and those stories
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: were great.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: It's like.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: Whatever the book was conveying, whether it's you heard the message,
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: but to hear the message and see your face at
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: the same time.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: It's like, I can do it, you know what I mean.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: It's a different kind of feeling. And I think that
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: the message is great, that's one thing. But when kids
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: can see themselves like you can see when the kids
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: visit the museum, it's kids of many.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Different shades in there. Yeah, and that was really important
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: to us.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: It was important to us for I've to be honest,
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: I've never met a female architect, never met a female architect.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I've never met a black female architect.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: You know, that's four percent of architects are black women.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: It's wild.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: So when I see her in a book, if you've
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: never met her.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: She exist exists, don't see exactly. That's perfectly sick. You
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: can't become what you don't see. Yeah, you can take
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: just a little bit more.
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: But yeah, exactly.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. That was so intentional.
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, even the subtle, you know, background pictures where we
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: would have Serena Williams like this black woman tennis player,
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: like these nods and odes to some of again just
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: dreaming big. You can be whatever you want because kids
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: will pay attention to everything. They notice the illustrations, the
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: younger ones who don't read yet, so they're studying the picture.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: And they read books over and over again.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, Like to me, I remember my first idea of
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: like growing old and having kids was I Love You Forever.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: And that book stays stuck in my heart because of
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: the fact that, like my mom read it to me.
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: So because my mom read it to me and I'm
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: watching this family, I'm like, grow old with the baby
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: and everything. I'm like, this is gonna be me, but
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: with my family. But like it's just you know what
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I mean. It was no representation in there, but it
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: was like, it's cool, I'm still gonna do it.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, it's better when you have you can see
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: it a pipeline. Yeah, did motherhood awaken anything in you?
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: A lioness? A lioness?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: What's your sign aquarian.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that I was such a crazy person.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: What does that mean? Like, if someone is mean to
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: your kids.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: If to my kid, I'm gonna be like kid Like
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: I didn't know, Like I didn't know that that existed.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Like raw. I remember the first time I saw somebody
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: say something crazy toes Tight and I was like, Yo,
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: who are you talking about? I literally would literally was
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: ready for it. And I'm like, and I'm not a
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: fighting type. I'm a very peacemaker, but do not mess
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: with my children.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Do not mess with my husband. That is the wrong
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: side of me. You will get.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: And I don't want to even see that person because
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: I've never felt my heart beat like that.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: I've never felt my hands sweat like that.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: I've never just seen red before in my life as
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: I do with my children.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I hope that comes out in me. What did it
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: bring out in you?
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 23:57
  Speaker 7: For me, it really is.
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: Like endless possibilities, That's what I think of. That kind
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: of came alive in me with becoming a parent, a mother.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: It's just, you know, the society there tends to be
• 24:13
  Speaker 6: this narrative of like, oh, you're becoming a mom, so
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: there's the end of your career. There's the end of
• 24:18
  Speaker 6: you know, your identity as a woman, as as your
• 24:22
  Speaker 6: own self.
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: But I don't know.
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: I like to flip that narrative and say, actually, if
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: it weren't for my kids and the world they brought
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: me into with children's books, I would have never become
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: an author of a children's book, or you know, if
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: they hadn't.
• 24:37
  Speaker 7: They Actually they all ask me what do you want
• 24:39
  Speaker 7: to be when you grow up? I'm like, do you
• 24:40
  Speaker 7: not know?
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I am ask me that the other day.
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: I think you should be an illustrator when you grow up.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: You're really good at that.
• 24:51
  Speaker 7: You could illustrate your own books.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and to see like you know sometimes but I'm
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: butchering the quote, but like the idea that we're all
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: born artists. But then somewhere along the way, you know,
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: the world tells us we're not, and so we just
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: drop it. But then to see ourselves through our children's
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: eyes again, it tells us we are and when we
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: tap into so I've tapped into my creative limitless possibilities
• 25:19
  Speaker 6: after becoming a mom.
• 25:20
  Speaker 7: That's beautiful.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Did this book make you reflect on your own relationship
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: with your mother's at all? While you were writing it. Yes,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I like that you said it that way. Yes, I
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: think we're all scared to talk about that. Our relationship
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: with our moms are complex, but we Why is it
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: it's so hard to say that, like it wasn't all perfect?
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: Well, I think that it's okay that it wasn't all
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: sure because I think that it shapes us. And I
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: think that I remember when I first and I'm going
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: to get it right back to it, but I remember
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: when I first became a mom, and I was like,
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: I'm going to make sure do this right and that right.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: This woman turned to me, She's like, oh, sweet, and
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: you're gonna mess something up.
• 26:06
  Speaker 8: And I just wanted to hit her because I was like, no,
• 26:09
  Speaker 8: I'm not, but.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: But she was like, no, I want you to think
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: about it like this.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: She was like, if you do everything right, yeah, what
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: is that?
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: What does that look like?
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: You're gonna just completely stress yourself out trying to get
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: everything right to where if you don't just naturally love
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: them just the way you do. She was like, just
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: just love them, Just love them, and you figure out
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: your own way. Your kid is their thumb print is
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: just their thumb print, and you'll figure out how to
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: mother them.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: My husband says that all the time, he was like,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: you reading.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: All these books and behavior and all this other stuff.
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: Heoples like those books can't tell me about typing to know.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And he's right, really.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? And he's he's so right.
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: And non Jessica said something.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: The other day like it the decisions that we make
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: for them just it's just in parental period, it builds resilience.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: It builds resilience. You want to make sure you're figuring
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: it all out. But some of that gentle parent it
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: don't work all the time for me, and not with
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: Titan and No and no, it was like I run this.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: It's like figuring all of that out.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: But I think that now, even after my mom's passing,
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: I gave I was able to give her so much
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: grace because she was doing what she could with the
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: information that she had, and I was able to forgive
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: her and I actually set myself free.
• 27:33
  Speaker 7: Can I ask you something personal please?
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Were you able to forgive her before she passed or
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: was that something that happened later later? When you think
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: about that, is it? Do you think that she knows
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: like she canid that?
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: Yes, because she danced with me in the kitchen.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: I know that sounds crazy, but she did it, doesn't
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: She danced with me in the kitchen.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I told you about this story over Christmas.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I'd forgiven her, and like it was a
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: couple months after that, I felt her spirit there, like
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: literally as if she were sitting right here. And it
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: really freaked me out because I was like, I haven't
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: drank anything.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I haven't.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: I'm really bugging right now.
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: And I was like, if I say something out loud,
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: my husband's gonna think that I'm crazy. And I was
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: just like, I'm just gonna be captured in this moment.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: I said, suck because she's I could feel her dancing
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: and she buttoned her mouth like she usually does, and
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: it was it was like she was like right.
• 28:31
  Speaker 7: Here on me.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: And I said, Mama stopped and I said it out
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: loud and Tim goes, what, like, what is wrong with you?
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: And I was like, my mom was.
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: Here, and he was like, oh, I believe that, like
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: he was right there, yeah, and I believe she was
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: just like we're good, it's cool, it's okay. So I
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: think that just like giving them grace. She my mama
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: worked so hard she was a nanny, so like her
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: working hard, her time was really stretched then, and her
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: knowing how to be a mother was a whole other
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: set of like questions and issues and challenges that I've
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: gone through.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Thank God for therapy. So it's just like you got
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: to give them grace.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: They just doing the best with the information they got,
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: and here I'm doing the best with the information I have,
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: and thank God I have a tribe who's giving me
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: more information. I'm learning and I'm asking questions. I think
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: that we're not going to get it right every single time.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I read an article that said it's actually not fair
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: to kids to get it right every single time, because
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: you're robbing them of their journey. Like everybody's supposed to
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: have some self actualization. Yeah, you know, if it's all perfect,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: what do they have to work on.
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and for all those perfect moms out there, good
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: for you. I'm definitely not that ship. Like I'm still learning.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: So it trips me out when I remember some mom
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: criticized me for a seatbelt situation. A whole bunch of
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: moms did, and one mom was so nice in my comments.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: She said, Callie, just simply lift the thing up, make
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: sure that his seatfield is like this. I listened to exactly,
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: thank you, whoever you were. I listened to exactly what
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: she told me because everything else was noise and ridicule,
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: and we don't deserve that.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: We try to just figure this thing out as we go.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not like there's a rule book, a handbook
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: on kids, especially a personalized.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: And dads don't get that, which is a different right. So,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: speaking of your mom's what was the best advice that
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: they gave you that you're going to pass on to
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: your kids.
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: Mine, it's gonna be okay. It's just going to be okay.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: That's so simple and so great.
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and I think just really knowing that because through
• 30:52
  Speaker 7: throughout it all, my husband and I talk about it.
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: My mom I grew up back East, but she's she
• 30:57
  Speaker 6: came all the time. My kids are her first grandchildren,
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: and so she let nothing get in the way. She
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: also happens to be a pediatrician, and so those early
• 31:08
  Speaker 6: months and years with her by my side, letting me know,
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: like the hiccups that's normal, or this little sniffle, the
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: smallest things that would you know, make any new parent panic.
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: I think having that kind of piece really helped me.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, listen to your good you're big on that.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: What total were you always or did that come later?
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: No?
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: I wish I had known in my twenties to listen
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: to your gut because I feel like, if it's if
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: it's danger, that's a different kind of gut feeling.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: When it's like people, that's a different kind of gut feeling.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: If it's worked, that's a different kind of gut feeling.
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: Like just decision making is a different gut feel just
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: but it still gives you what you need. And so
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: I listen to my gut on everything, and I'm always
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: like tightened, Like if he does something naughty, I'm like,
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: did you think it was a good idea to, you know,
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: cut the screen on the window?
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: Tell me that happened? Because he I mean, I was like,
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: I was like, here's the thing. You thought about it.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: You went to go get the scissors downstairs.
• 32:19
  Speaker 9: He was like yeah, But I was like, I was like,
• 32:23
  Speaker 9: then you decided to put the heads through the screen,
• 32:30
  Speaker 9: made it bigger, creative?
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, I don't give him that.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: So happy he's created.
• 32:37
  Speaker 10: I was like, but that costs me money, And he
• 32:40
  Speaker 10: was like, my bad, he's like my bad was like, dude,
• 32:49
  Speaker 10: you just I was like, what made you think it
• 32:50
  Speaker 10: was a good idea?
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: I was like, did your gut tell He was like, no,
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: my gun told me it wasn't. And he knew he
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: knew it wasn't a good idea. He was just like curious.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: He just to do it.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, yeah, at least he didn't draw
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: on the walls.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, no, oh no, he did. We know we
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: made a chalk wall.
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: Just seem like they're gonna do They're gonna do it,
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: but just here's the place, give place to everywhere else
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: in the house.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: That's that's that's paying costs.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: So I told you about the name pretty smart, and
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: so much of it is putting a new spin on pretty.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: And when I think of body image and beauty, I
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: think so much of my mom, right like you think
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: of your mom in so many of those ways. And
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: my mom has this great phrase that lessons are caught,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: not taught, and they just like see you move throughout
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: the world. And I noticed in one of your videos
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: you had a tattoo that says masterpiece on your ribs.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: When did you get that?
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: Thirty?
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: What was what's the story behind that.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: It was when I finally I felt like I was
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: really finally starting to see myself as a masterpiece and
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: holding myself in regard or value as like whyt should
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: you hang around?
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: Or you know what kind of decisions you're making?
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: And you know, what do you want to start doing
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: with your like when it comes to building a.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Business, like what are you? What are you doing? You
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: know what I mean?
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: And just remembering like and also knowing I'm one of
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: a kind like and not comparing myself. So I think
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: that at thirty I started to see like I don't
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: have to compare myself to anybody. It's only one me,
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: It's only one thumbprint of me.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: And it was like, oh a masterpiece. That was it.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: I really liked it. Yeah, I've never really seen that
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: in a tattoo, and I thought, what a nice reminder.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: It's also biblical. It is, Yes, it's an I can't
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: tell you which Bible verse. I need to open up
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: my Bible, yes I do, but it is definitely it's
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: in a a Bible verse and it talks about how
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: God sees us as a masterpiece. So I said, if
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: God says so, he can't be lying.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how do you think about it? Cause you have
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: a daughter. Yeah, do you think about how you're cultivating
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: her body image?
• 35:19
  Speaker 7: Yeah? You know every night. This is why affirmations.
• 35:23
  Speaker 6: And you asked about how representation, the lack of representation,
• 35:27
  Speaker 6: what message that sends? And I think it's just there
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: would be this absence of affirmation. So I every night
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: say affirmations with her, and one of them to your
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: question that I say, is I am enough?
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: Just the way I am? And it's true.
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: It's just you are who you are, and that's that's
• 35:46
  Speaker 6: all you have to be, just exactly the way you are.
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: That is enough in this world. And you know, I
• 35:52
  Speaker 6: just hope that she carries herself. I'd tell her in
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: the morning's look in the mirror, say something kind to yourself. Yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: because the way we talk to herself. You know, you
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: don't realize how you internalize like that that self talk
• 36:06
  Speaker 6: sometimes over time, especially in teenage years as girls, let
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: alone girls with social media. I don't know what that's
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: like being a teenage girl in the time of social media.
• 36:17
  Speaker 7: So yeah, I tried to teach her early. We all do.
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: My try, my husband, we all try to teach her
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: and the boys just to love, love on yourself because.
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: You know that's.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: No, it's beautiful to see.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: Even so, my niece has started a swimsuit line. I'm sorry,
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: my niece has started a swimsuit line.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Give her a shout out.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: So I am I love you started a swimsuit line.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: And it started from affirmations really, and like every day
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: her mom would take her in front of the mirror
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: or her dad would take her in front of the mirror,
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: and every day they have to say something with that
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: letter what abc D, I am able, I am brilliant,
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: I am confidently. So when she got to the letter I,
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: they were like, oh, what are you today? She's like,
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: I am I, I am I And they were like what.
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: She was like, I am I like everything I am
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: And so that's literally the name of her bathing suit company.
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: It started from an affirmation of herself like I am everything.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: I am, I I am who I am. And I
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: was like, this is amazing. So watching this new generation
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: figure out who they are at a young age.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: I'm like, we got to be ready. We have to be.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: Ready now to make sure we continue on that path
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: to you know, because of course they're going to have
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: like you know, their challenges or they'll follow and we'll
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: be right there to pick them up, Like let's get
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: back up to teach them resilience. But like, how dope
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: to know already at six eight who you are?
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: You are success?
• 37:58
  Speaker 7: Yes, we talk about that.
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: So the other flip affirmation we do is I am
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: not trying to be perfect. I am not who other
• 38:06
  Speaker 6: people say I am, and I am who God says
• 38:08
  Speaker 6: I am.
• 38:08
  Speaker 7: Those are the things so.
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: She knows not only who she is, but who she's not,
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: not these things of like perfection that doesn't exist.
• 38:16
  Speaker 7: You know, we talk about that a lot too.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I've never heard that. That's really interesting, Kelly. You came
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: up in a time where media was pretty brutal for
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: a body image. I think especially for black women, it
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: must have been one hundred times worse.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I remember when you got your breast augmentation and the
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: internet broke.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it was.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: When I looked back at how people wrote about it,
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I was like.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Horrible. Oh I didn't care.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't care.
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: I had a new set of headlights. I thought I
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: was cute. I did, you.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Were cute, But I was like mortified what I was reading.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: Oh no, they said some crazy stuff. They like somebody said, oh,
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: you didn't you didn't think we would care?
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: Said, I'm like, I don't care if you caught that
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: or not, like I would. I don't care. Yeah, I
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: mean yes, it was like she's here, she's I care.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: How do you think about it, like if you had
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: a daughter, how do you think about it in terms
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: of that?
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: I know how old was? Oh?
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: I was like how I was like, oh, I was
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: nineteen going into twenty.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe I remember you saying like you consulted
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Tina Knowles. I consulted some people I did.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just gonna say it. I was very specific
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: as socise. I mean I was already started. I started
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: off super.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: Small egg and I'll never forget the doctor gave me
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: like these different ones to like choose from, and I said.
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: Hmmm, I'm gonna be modest.
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: Because I didn't want to go to like some old
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: like do please like I can't do that? Yeah, and
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: you're so active to yeah yeah, but I I wanted
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: it to like work for my body. But like, should
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: my niece come up to me or my nieces come
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: up to me.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: And ask about it?
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: I'm like, make sure it's a decision you've thought long
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: and hard about.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: If you talk to your mom and dad about it,
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: Please tell me you talk to them about it before
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: you talk to me about it.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I would be honest with them, you know
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: what I mean, And I ask them, why are you
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: doing it for me?
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: It was the why.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: I can't even lie. I just thought that they looked good.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: I was like, gosh, these look great. I just want
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: to take these off for a spin and see what
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: happens well, the ones that I put in my brother.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: So I've heard people talk about like remorse afterwards. No,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: you were good.
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: I'm still good.
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: Love them even after my children have sucked on my
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: Oh you wrote.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: About that in your book.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: Yes I did.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: I loved that.
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: First they were perky and then they make them happy again.
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: So yeah, and since then I've made them happy again.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: So I just feel like it's just really up to.
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: You, like like the kind of conversation you have with
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: your kids, But they are going to ask you a question,
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: and I want to be honest with my kids.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: If they asked me a question, do you feel prepared
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: to answer honestly?
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: I have to.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: It's like the other day I came home and my
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: hair was in a different hairstyle, but some of my
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: hair was like covering my.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: My son goes mom.
• 41:23
  Speaker 7: I said, yes baby.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: He said, is is that a week? And I said yes, why,
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: yes it is. He goes that. So it's just like
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: it's just a matter of fact. They want to know.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: He sounds like he's such a cute personality. Is he
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: like more like you or like Tim?
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: He's like both of us us for sure.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: So I think so much of pop stardom has changed,
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Like I think of Lizzo and Billie Eilish and it's
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: like so much more emphasis us on authenticity. Yes, I
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: was thinking as I was this is not written down.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I was driving here and I was like, if Destiny's
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Child dropped an album again, it would kill it. What
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: girl group could you say that about?
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: None? Yeah, well there aren't any right now that I
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: know of.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: With all due respect to any girl groups that are out,
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: I didn't meet one girl group in the studio a
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: while back. But thank God for our team that we
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: had in that time, because and our manager that we
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: had in that time, he fought really hard for us,
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: like went toe to toe to those labels because the
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: truth is is this a lot of bodies present, you
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: know what I mean? As far as like as three girls,
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: it's four girls. Think about Spice Girls was five girls
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: that cost money to you know, get these girls around.
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: And I know it wasn't cheap to break a group
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: like ours, but what a blessing. I still get invites
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: to the UK, I still get invites to Spain, I
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: still get invites all over the world because they laid
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: the foundation in that time, you know, for us to
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: be able to still have shows. I just I just
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: left Sydney a couple of months ago. Thank god for
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: that international pressure.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: Oh thank you.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I think that broke the internet too. Performance.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: I had so much fun. I hadn't been on the
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: stage in months. I have so so much too. Yeah,
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: it was so good, but it was so much fun.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: So I think that girl groups are necessary.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: I think that when you see women getting along and
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: they're having a good time, or anytime you see women
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: together in some sort of public setting, whether it's us
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: writing a book together or it's you know, a girl
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: group coming together to sing a song, is I like,
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: I'm so happy that black Pink is having a moment.
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: Black Pink is having a whole moment like my my
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: nieces come home and they singing all these songs. I
• 43:57
  Speaker 4: was like, gosh, that beat sounds very you know something.
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: But they've made everything their own. It's like so cool
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: to see.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: So back in the day, I had a friend who said,
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Kelly Rowland put me onto the weekend. I didn't know.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I guess they were friends the artists, the artists back
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: in the day. And now that you're saying black Pink,
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, like, you are still very much invested in
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: the music industry.
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: It seems well, I love music. Yeah, I love music.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: I listen to music all the time. It's so funny.
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: I had this moment the other day where I said,
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: the boys don't really sing and then Titan comes home.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Once a kid. So it's like it's I still love music.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: It's still very much so a part of my thread
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: of who I am.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: So yeah, you like to break new artists.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: And I love I'm loving seeing new artists.
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's like it's really cool to be able
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: to see new artists come up in like different ways.
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: Like there's this really cool DJ out right now. Her
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: name is Uncle Waffles, and she's got so much personality.
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: She's from Africa and Nigeria, South Africa. I can't think
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: of where exactly, but she's so cool. She just played Coachella.
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: But I've been known about this girl for at least
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: a year now. I'm like, y'all late, So it's really
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: cool to feel like I've known this person since this time,
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Like I've known about Doja Cat since before everybody caught on.
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: That's fine, And she's always been that dope, always been
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: that talented, always been like aside from everybody else, and
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: just it's dope to watch artists just be that.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: You know that Matt Gala was last night. Obviously, I'm
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: so thankful that you didn't come here and do the
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: whole interview with pers like she did.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: That was a moment though she wait what happened?
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, she dressed up like a cat and then all
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: the interviews like she would someone would.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: It was great, It was good. I love her so much.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: She is like I feel like she took Lady Gaga
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: to like the night. It's like she's doing her own thing.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like is Doja and she is literally in
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: a box all her own and I love that she
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: was able to dodge the interviews like that. Yeah, you
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: don't get anything from me, or yes, I love her.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: It really was.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like, hang on none to talk about y'all.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: It was good. I always hear people ask about like
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: what was the hardest day. I'm actually more interested in
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: the fun because you've won Grammys, you have played at
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: the super Bowl, like, you've done all the big things.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: What was the most fun you've had in show business?
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: In show business, I feel like eighty that I called
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: it show business.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: But what is the most sad?
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what is the most fun you've had in entertainment?
• 47:01
  Speaker 7: You're good? You have so many good questions.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, you guys are making me. I didn't have to
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: look at my cards.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Let me see it.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: My most fun day would probably have to be in
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: show business college them be like you're let me tell
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: you about this show. But it would probably have to
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: be Coachell getting prepared for Coachella because one, nobody.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: Knew at least that's what I thought, but one nobody knew.
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: And two it was so b had so many bodies
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: like as far as like the band and the dancers
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: and this because she is just that dope, but she
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: had it felt like college, You know what? I mean,
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: you got to remember, like I didn't go to college.
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: I didn't like high school was like half of a
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: year for me. After that was tutors. So it's like
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: this felt like like hearing everybody like walk down the hall.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: It felt like the High School of Visual Performing Arts,
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: so like you know what I mean. So when we
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: all fell in line and it was time for everybody
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: to like line up and you hurt them the horn
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: section practicing and this person like on this side, it
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: was people like doing the moves and stuff, it just
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: felt like homecoming. It felt like homecoming and it felt
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: like a college experience.
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: And that was so awesome to me because I never
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: felt that.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: I never thought about that.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was dope.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: Do you want your kids to have those traditional experiences.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: If that is what they would like?
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Because right now Titan looks like he's gonna go
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: to marine school or marine biology and planning with animals
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: in some sort of way.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: It's all he cares about. And I don't know what
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: Noah's going to do it too.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Are you looking for a stable and reliable investment option.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Have you considered investing in gold? Gold has been a
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: valuable asset for centuries and it continues to be a
• 49:11
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• 49:16
  Speaker 1: their app. You can buy real physical gold that's stored
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: at the Royal Canadian Mint, or you can choose to
• 49:22
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• 49:25
  Speaker 1: provide a hedge against inflation, currency devaluation, and other economic uncertainties.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: We keep hearing about how the economy is uncertain right now,
• 49:35
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• 49:38
  Speaker 1: a tangible asset that can hold its value even during
• 49:42
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• 49:45
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• 50:10
  Speaker 1: it feels right for you. So I actually have a theory.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: Tell me because I'm not a parent, so tell me.
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: This is crazy. I think that most people at like
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: six years old know who they are and what they
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: want to do, and then we kind of like go
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: throughout the world, we learn, we unlearn, and then we
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: come back to that in some way.
• 50:33
  Speaker 7: I kind of agree with you.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I yeah, I All I.
• 50:38
  Speaker 6: Did when I was a kid was play school, and
• 50:39
  Speaker 6: then I became an educator and I tried to avoid it.
• 50:42
  Speaker 6: I tried to, you know, say I want to be
• 50:45
  Speaker 6: become a doctor like my parents.
• 50:46
  Speaker 7: I want to do this.
• 50:47
  Speaker 6: But there were different If you listen to those like that,
• 50:50
  Speaker 6: gut that instinct, if you're I think still enough and
• 50:54
  Speaker 6: silent enough to follow those feelings, it does lead you
• 50:58
  Speaker 6: back to who you came.
• 51:00
  Speaker 7: Into the world as.
• 51:01
  Speaker 6: So, yeah, I think there's an element of that that's true,
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: and so it's I think a lot of like young
• 51:08
  Speaker 6: adulthood or adolescents. If you don't have that, yeah, it's
• 51:11
  Speaker 6: peeling you back and returning to that.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that. I
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: was the same.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: I was in love with music and Whitney Houston and
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: watching television shows and movies when I was a kid,
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: Like the first time I was able to sit down
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: and watch Yes, I know, I was too young to assume.
• 51:35
  Speaker 8: But I remember watching like Harlem Nights. I don't think
• 51:43
  Speaker 8: I was six, but definitely like when I was just
• 51:47
  Speaker 8: like I think I was like eleven, ten and eleven,
• 51:49
  Speaker 8: and I'll never forget just like wanting to watch like
• 51:52
  Speaker 8: all these movies over and over again, and I wanted
• 51:55
  Speaker 8: to sing, and these were the things that made me happy,
• 51:59
  Speaker 8: you know what I mean. And it's like I here,
• 52:01
  Speaker 8: I am, like starting off singing with a group, and
• 52:03
  Speaker 8: I'm in my teens and then you get an opportunity
• 52:06
  Speaker 8: to act and you know, and I'm like, oh.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: My god, I love this too. So it's just like, oh,
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: that makes perfect sense. Like I you know what I mean.
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: I grew up wanting to see like like in particular,
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: Rudy Huxtable. Rudy Huxtable, I saw myself back looking like
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: really yes, and I was like, I.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: Want to be an actress too.
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: So she inspired me when I was a kid, and
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: to this day, like when I see her, I'm like,
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: that's Prudy. Of course I say her name of port
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: and Polium. I respect her, but she inspired me. She
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: still makes meek when I see her. So it's just
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: like yeah, and I remember the first time I met.
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: When he's not insane a word.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: To her, Oh my god, what do you say? Well
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: the girl spoke, because I remember one was like, she
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: starts start shoting. But that's how I felt. It's literally
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: I felt, and she was the whole, my whole purpose.
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: I'll never forget seeing her in that sweatsuit singer the
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: national anthem.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: I'll never forget seeing that cut with the tie on
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: her head. I was like, I can do it. The
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: same thing with Jane Jackson. Oh my god, I can
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: do it. I can do it.
• 53:15
  Speaker 4: That's why seeing yourself reflected back to you, whether it's
• 53:19
  Speaker 4: a book or television movies, it's necessary.
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: Cartoons is necessary. It's necessary, and you.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Can see it, you can be it. Yes, yeah, that's
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: a perfect, perfect full circle moment. So I do some
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: rap empire. The first one is actually really selfish because
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: it's advice. I'm terrified of picking the wrong partner in life.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's a make or break decision, and
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering how each of you knew.
• 53:48
  Speaker 6: Oh man, it is just a feeling, you know, when
• 53:54
  Speaker 6: that person is just there for you, that counts for
• 53:57
  Speaker 6: a lot, always, always, no matter what and when it's easy.
• 54:04
  Speaker 7: I will say that when it's like.
• 54:07
  Speaker 6: I heard someone say this, like the butterflies, that might
• 54:09
  Speaker 6: not always be a good thing, because that's like alert,
• 54:12
  Speaker 6: that's your body reacting in some way.
• 54:14
  Speaker 7: It's just easy. Yeah, yeah, that's how I knew.
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: Oh gosh, it was my good It's like, don't mess
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: this up.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: Clearly that like, don't mess this up. Because he was
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: just he was so ready.
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: To share his world with me, like I love my mother,
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: God rest herself. But our relationship was so tumultuous, and
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: I remember because he and I talked about so many
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: different things.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: When he looked at me and he.
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: Said, I'll show my mom with you, like you can
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: call her mom and SA it's cool. I was like, oh,
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: this man wants to share his world with me, Like
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: how dope and so beautiful.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: He was just so sweet and honest.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: I'll share my mom with you.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: And when I tell you, like you know, at the
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: top of the phone life where it's like your most
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: important it's me and his mother. I don't I would
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: share space with that woman. She is just the sweetest,
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: just candy and sugar and maple syrup and everything wonderful.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: All day long. You don't always hear that. In terms
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: of relationships with your mother in law, that's really special.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Jackie's a special woman, she is.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, what are you most looking forward to about getting older?
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: Even more wisdom, even more.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Wisdom that knowing in your gut.
• 55:44
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I say definitely. The wisdom part makes me excited.
• 55:51
  Speaker 6: I would say, yeah, I think just a certain level
• 55:55
  Speaker 6: of peace. You know, there's just constant moving and going
• 55:59
  Speaker 6: right now now with young kids and growing a young
• 56:02
  Speaker 6: family and that kind of thing. But I'm excited for
• 56:05
  Speaker 6: just that level of peace and being able to, like
• 56:09
  Speaker 6: then now pass it on to them and watch them
• 56:11
  Speaker 6: grow and they can always come back to you.
• 56:13
  Speaker 7: And you're the rock.
• 56:14
  Speaker 6: You're the the stability and peace of the family.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: Fantastic a song that lifts you up.
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: This is really silly. Do not let it takes two?
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: That's really cute. You are on the couch because.
• 56:35
  Speaker 8: You can't not move that you hear, can you read?
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a cool way to make that bean.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: It has to be.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: A common misconception about fame.
• 56:53
  Speaker 4: Oh god, you know what drives me crazy That it's
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: a certain pose that one has to have in order
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: to be fly or fabulous.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: You know, it's always the or your mouth has to
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: be like you know what I mean, Like it's all
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: of that.
• 57:12
  Speaker 4: And it's like the more I watch people just be
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: the most like their most fun, amazing self. Like for me,
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: it's like Dojah. I love watching Dojah because she's just
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: like you're gonna get all this fabulousness, whether it's with a.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Cat suit or line, it's just her being so comfortable
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: in her skin and it doesn't take a certain pose.
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: That's what I love about, Like Lizo be given all
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: the pose and like all this personality and everything on stage,
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: Like she's just like just so authentic, authentic.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: So I just love.
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: The risk the real, And I think often fame like
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: people sometimes feel like they're getting like the the real
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: from people. But sometimes it's sometimes it is this because
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: you don't know how the rest of the world is
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: going to react to what you have to say, what
• 58:08
  Speaker 4: your thoughts are, what you're in a beliefs are, Like
• 58:10
  Speaker 4: it's just sometimes it's just like a I don't know
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: how to describe it is just this authenticity.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what is a book that you read that changed
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: your life? Something you think everybody should read?
• 58:24
  Speaker 11: Ogeous Yeah, gosh, it's so hard for me to choose
• 58:37
  Speaker 11: just one.
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: I'm thinking recently, I love memoirs, and so the one
• 58:42
  Speaker 6: I've most recently read with my book club shout out
• 58:45
  Speaker 6: to my book club girls is Alicia Key's memoir More Myself.
• 58:50
  Speaker 6: It's the idea of authenticity. This theme keeps coming back up.
• 58:54
  Speaker 6: But how can we with all of our multiple, you know,
• 58:59
  Speaker 6: interests and and pieces of who we are. We're mothers,
• 59:02
  Speaker 6: but we're also women in our careers, we're also daughters
• 59:05
  Speaker 6: and anyway, how can we keep embracing all of the
• 59:10
  Speaker 6: multiplicities of who we are? And I just it was
• 59:13
  Speaker 6: one of those things where it's like, at the exact
• 59:15
  Speaker 6: time that I needed to hear that, I read that
• 59:17
  Speaker 6: book and it was just great.
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: That's good cause that's a recent one too.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: That's cool.
• 59:21
  Speaker 7: Yeah, that's the most recent one that's coming to my mind.
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: Oh wow. I feel like the Bible just continues to
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: give to me.
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: The older I get, the more I understand certain things
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: better than I did even five years ago, three years ago,
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: ten years ago, twenty years ago.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: But I started reading this book with my son and
• 59:43
  Speaker 4: it's called The and it's actually for him but we're
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: reading it together and we're only on page six, but
• 59:50
  Speaker 4: so far even I'm amazed.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: At just how it's called the growth mindset. It's like
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: a boy's guide to just growing.
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: Up, and but it talked about having a growth mindset
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: and a fixed mindset and how to change that when
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: you have a fixed mindset, you're looking at something and
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: you're saying, the difference between a growth mindset and a
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 4: fixed mindset is a fixed mindset might say I'm gonna
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: go play this basketball game, but it's.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Not looking good.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: It's not seeming like it's gonna be a great game
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: for me, or something like that, so I think we're
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: gonna lose. The growth mindset is I'm not prepared, but
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna go out here and I'm gonna try my best.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: So it's like Titan repeated it back to me yesterday
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: when I picked him up from school, and it just
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: made me really happy to know that there's a book
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 4: out here to get him at the level that he's at.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: And we're reading it together, and as I'm looking at it,
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 4: and it's saying, you get frustrated when you're working hard
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: at something if it doesn't go your way.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: Because you care, and I was like, yeah, I care,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It's like, so, and I'm
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: sent up and reading this children's children's book.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: And as I'm reading it and I'm going through the sentences,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 4: I'm going, yes, oh my gosh, and time's going mom, Mom,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 4: can you please continue?
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: Because I'm getting jewels, you know what I mean.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: And I think that's so cool to read a book
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: with my kids and I'm getting jewels too.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Hello, exactly, Okay, I do a pretty smart question, yeah,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: this one one o them. Okay, and pick out a card.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: But I always think people get the card meant for them.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 7: Okay, So.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: Whatever feels right.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 6: Mine is out of all of the extraordinary people you've encountered,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 6: who made the largest impact or left a lingering memory?
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: Hmmm.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm so blessed to have so many elder and
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 6: now ancestors.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 7: But yeah, I guess the first one that comes to
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 7: me is.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 6: My aunt Tilly, my great aunt, and mainly because I
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 6: just remember her laugh.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 7: She had a very deep, big laugh, her smile.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 6: And now that I'm a mother and I'm an adult,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 6: I I can only imagine, you know, all of the
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 6: trials and tribulations and so to l to think about
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 6: you know, this woman, a black woman who undoubtedly had
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 6: so much probably going on in life.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 7: But as a kid, I just remember somehow she.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 6: Managed to smile and laugh and give us like all
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 6: these special memories.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 7: That's pretty amazing.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 6: Not that we should ever, you know, hide from our
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 6: kids what we're really going through.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 7: We should always still.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 6: Share, but just remember to kind of like add levity
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 6: to life and you know, bring joy to it when
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 6: we can.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: I love that name.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: Tilly immediately immediately said too, thank you for.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 7: Sharing that, thank you for the question.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: Question everything, Which temptation do you try the hardest to resist?
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: Which temptation do I try the hardest to resist? Sugar?
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: Sugar, it's hard water anything, cookies, cakes, pieca dot.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: But not like dummies, you're more of a like at all.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: But right now it's these delicious cookies. They are the
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: most amazing cookie, just buttery. There's a toffee, white chocolate
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: toffee one that is just it is the one hard.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: I have one yesterday, It is the one.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: Hard to say no to shi good day with this.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: Cookie particular your kids, Gosh is so good. So yeah,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: that cookie for sure.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: So I ask everybody this at the end. It's intentionally broad.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: So whatever comes to your mind, the smartest decision you've
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: ever made.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: Marry my husband, having my kids.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I was gonna say something similar. I'll say, along
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 6: those signs moving to LA, because that's, you know what,
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 6: my husband was taking this leap of faith, and so
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 6: it ties into that the decision to move to LA,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 6: which led to marriage and kids for me.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: And the book and the book and all without LA.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to do a giveaway, but I just
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: want to impress upon people how impactful the book is,
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: even as a person who's not a parent or a kid,
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: so I'm not the target demo. I read it several times.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: I think it's really really beautiful. So thank you for
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: putting it out into the world.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much for sharing me.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: I want to thank the people that make the show possible,
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: Colleen O'Neill, Jill Salama, Karrie O'Keefe, and Phil Speed Tech. Okay,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: To have a good day.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: I'll see you next week.